Losing Air

They arrived at the Ponyville train station in the middle of the afternoon. There were four ponies and a dragon waiting for them on the platform. Twilight had sent word ahead. As Rainbow Dash saw them, she grimaced, and turned to Twilight.

“What should I say?” she asked.

“Whatever you think is best. I trust you to make the right decisions, Rainbow,” Twilight said with a smile.

Rainbow gave her a weak smile of thanks and stepped off the train. She stood in front of the ponies who were all giving her smiles. All except one that is. Rainbow decided it was best to tear the bandaid off fast.

“Listen, AJ, I’m sorry about the stuff I said.”

Applejack looked up at her with a stunned expression. “You’re sorry? I’m sorry! I know you were hurtin’ and I let my emotions get the better of me. I should have been there for you - heck, I went in there with the specific purpose of being there for you - but instead I let my pride get in the way of our friendship. Can you forgive me for startin’ that fight?” Applejack said, kicking at the ground. She let out a surprised yelp as Rainbow Dash threw her hooves around her.

“I needed the sense knocked into me. You weren’t the only one who was letting their pride get in the way. Thanks for trying,” Rainbow said. Applejack smiled and returned the hug. They broke apart as the rest of Rainbow’s friends rushed in to give the pegasus their own hugs and words of support. After the initial rush everyone started to calm down.

“Oh my gosh, I totally have to throw you a party, Rainbow Dash!” Pinkie Pie said, bouncing on the spot. Her grin threatened to spread off the edge of her face if it got any wider.

“Thanks, Pink, but could you give it a few days? I kind of want to settle down a little you know? Get back on my hooves,” Rainbow said, smiling at her friend.

“Of course, Dashie, whatever you need,” Pinkie said with a softer smile.

The friends said their goodbyes and the trio of Twilight, Rainbow, and Spike went back toward the library. As they were walking Twilight looked sideways at Rainbow Dash.

“Your balance seems to have improved a lot since we last walked like this,” she said.

“Yeah, I guess,” Rainbow said with a shrug, “although I don’t know if it’s more that my balance is getting better or that I had a lot of practice while drunk. Seems easier now that I’m sober.”

They walked in an awkward silence the rest of the way to the library. Once arriving at the treehouse Twilight showed the pegasus to her room. It was a slightly smaller version of Twilight’s room. Right next door was the room the unicorn and Spike slept. On the floor was, Rainbow noticed with surprise, the things she had collected from her house when she first went there with Twilight.

“But… how?” Rainbow said with a frown.

“Spike,” Twilight said with a smile. “After I had calmed down he went to your house to find out what had happened. When he got there you weren’t around but the front door was still open. He noticed the bags and brought them over for you.”

Rainbow looked over at the dragon who had his eyes lowered to the floor and his hands behind his back. His cheeks were tinged pink as he looked up at her and said, “Sorry, Rainbow, I didn’t mean to take anything. I just… well… assumed you would have wanted it here when you came back.”

Rainbow gave Spike a grin and wrapped a leg around his shoulders. “You did great, Spike, thanks.” At the confused look of the others, Rainbow continued, “I assume none of you have seen my house since that day?” she asked. When they both shook their heads she explained what had happened to her cloud home. Twilight was horrified by the time Rainbow had finished.

“But that’s your home,” she said. “Everything you owned was there. Your whole life.”

“Yeah,” Rainbow said with a grimace, “you’re right, but there’s nothing I can do about it now. I just have to try to look forward.” She looked down at the ground. “But maybe we should go check it out now? I kinda left in a hurry last time. There might be something I can salvage.”

Twilight nodded her head and emptied the contents of her saddle bags. She brought another bag out for Rainbow which the pegasus hung around her neck. Once they were ready they walked toward the door.

“Did you need me to come too?” Spike asked. “I can help carry some stuff, if you need.”

“Nah,” Rainbow said, shaking her head. “There really isn’t all that much worth finding.”

They left the library and headed toward the pegasus’ cloud house. Once there they picked over the wreckage to find what they could. There wasn’t much but they found a few things of Rainbow’s worth keeping, clothes and mementos mostly, and tucked them away in the saddle bags. They were starting to leave when Rainbow paused.

“Hold up, Twi,” she said, running back into the wreckage. She walked over to the trophy she had smashed the days before and slowly picked up the pieces with her hooves. It took her a few tries but she finally tucked them away into her bag and walked back over to the unicorn.

“Ready to go?” Twilight asked.

Rainbow nodded and they walked back to the library as the sun set over Ponyville.

Rainbow woke screaming. The nightmare still gripped her as she threw the covers off. Her body was sticky from sweat and her heart was still racing as she dropped her legs off the side of the bed. She sat up and waited for the fog to clear from her mind. As it did she noticed a quiet wheezing outside of her room. She jumped off the bed and walked over to the door.

As she pulled it open a purple mare fell into the room and hit the ground with a thud. Twilight had been sleeping up against the door, but hitting the floor had soon cured her of that. She jumped up and looked around in a panic to get her bearings. Once she realized where she was she looked up at Rainbow with a small forced grin.

“Guess I, kinda, fell asleep there,” Twilight said.

Rainbow raised an eyebrow. “How long were you out there?” the pegasus asked. Twilight looked sheepish.

“I’m not really sure to be honest,” Twilight said with a shake of her head. “I woke at some point to your screaming but when I poked my head in you were still asleep. I was just going to sit for a few minutes until it stopped, but I guess I fell asleep at some point.”

“I was screaming for that long?” Rainbow said, frowning. “No wonder my throat is killing me. It only felt like the dream lasted a second.” She looked up at Twilight. “I’m really sorry, Twilight, I didn’t mean to keep you awake.”

Twilight shook her head. “Don’t worry about me. I just want to make sure you’re okay,” she said, looking at the mare with concern.

“Yeah,” Rainbow said, nodding, “I’ll be fine.”

The two stood for a moment looking around the room trying not to meet the others eyes. Twilight coughed.

“Right, well, I might go downstairs and get some coffee. Don’t think I can get back to sleep right now. Let me know if you need anything.”

“Actually I’ll come with. Coffee sounds great right about now.”

Twilight walked into the kitchen and started making the drinks. Rainbow sat at the table and watched the unicorn. She smiled as she thought about everything that Twilight had done for her in the past week. Not only had she put her life completely on hold, but she had also done everything in her power to make sure Rainbow was happy.

‘Am I happy?’ Rainbow thought. She didn’t really have an answer to that. She had lost the anger she felt but still felt… empty? She was just living each day as best she could while trying not to think of the future. What would she do with her life now? She was a pegasus with a talent for flying who couldn’t fly. Even thinking in those vague terms brought bile to the back of her throat.

She was pulled out of her thoughts when Twilight placed a steaming mug in front of her. After the unicorn was seated herself she looked at Rainbow with a frown.

“You looked like you were thinking pretty hard there. Mind if I ask what about?” Twilight said, smiling a small smile.

“Nothing,” Rainbow said. She wasn’t ready to talk about it. Not yet. Twilight nodded and the two of them sat in silence for a few minutes while taking sips of the hot coffee in front them.

“I have to make it up to the guys,” Rainbow said, bringing Twilight out of her own thoughts. She tilted her head to the side and gave Rainbow a confused look. Rainbow smiled. “The others. I said some bad stuff to them and I want to make it right. I know they forgive me, but I need to try at least. It will give me something to do over the next few days anyway.”

“That’s a great idea, Rainbow Dash,” Twilight said, nodding at her friend. “It will be good to keep your mind busy too.”

Rainbow nodded and smiled at her friend. She knew Twilight would understand. That was one of the main reasons she decided to stay with Twilight. At first it was because she was the only one who had been there but now it was more than that. She knew she could trust the unicorn. After what they had shared it felt like they had grown closer as friends.

Plus she was certainly easy on the eyes.

Rainbow stopped the mug halfway to her face. Where had that thought come from? Twilight was a friend and nothing more. Sure, objectively she was cute, but Rainbow doubted Twilight even felt that way about other mares let - alone her. She shook her head and buried the thought before it grew out of control. That was just what she didn’t need - another thing to worry about right now.

The two sat for the rest of the night (or morning depending on your perspective) and chatted about nothingness. Distractions to keep Rainbows mind busy were hard to come by at that hour in the morning so they filled them with gossip.

It seemed like no time at all before the sun was rising and Spike made his way down the stairs. Twilight smiled and passed the dragon a mug of freshly brewed coffee. Rainbow raised her eyebrow.

“Um, isn’t Spike like, a baby?” she asked. “Should he really be drinking coffee?”

“I breathe fire out of my mouth and you think a little coffee is going to hurt me?” Spike asked, an eyebrow of his own raised. Rainbow nodded and shrugged; conceding the point.

Twilight laughed and set about making them breakfast. Rainbow raised from the table to offer her a hoof but the unicorn quickly shooed her away.

“You are my guest,” she said in a tone that brooked no argument. The pegasus sat back down and wondered how she could repay Twilight. She was planning to help the others but after everything the unicorn had done she needed to find something more for her. After a few minutes, Twilight had finished a simple breakfast, and the three of them ate in silence.

Twilight explained what their plans for the day were going to be to Spike.

“So would you mind being the librarian here again? Possibly for a few days?” Twilight asked, giving him a hopeful grin.

“Yeah, no problem,” Spike said. “But I really should ask for a pay rise.”

“Wait, you get paid?” Rainbow asked.

“Of course he does,” Twilight said, laughing. “What do you think I am? A slaver?”

“More like slave driver,” Spike said, looking sideways at Rainbow with a grin. Rainbow laughed at the mock hurt on Twilight’s face, the other two soon following the pegasus, breaking into laughter of their own.

After breakfast the two ponies got ready and said their goodbyes to Spike.

“Where to first?” Twilight asked.

“Applejack’s.”

Watching the two stubborn mares argue was beginning to grate on Twilight’s nerves. While she understood both of their perspectives, she knew neither of them would back down, so it was time to intervene.

“Enough!” Twilight shouted, causing both of the mares to stop and look at her. “We all get it. Rainbow, you want to make it up to Applejack. Applejack, you don’t think there is anything she needs to make up for. Now, Applejack, can we please move past this and just give Rainbow something to help you with already? We know you don’t need the help but it would make everyone feel better.”

Applejack had the good graces to look sheepish. She looked up at Rainbow and said, “Alright then, think you can handle some cart pullin’?”

A few minutes later the apple cart was attached to Rainbow. She pulled with the ease of a practiced athlete and started heading toward the fields.

“I’m going to head into town for a while, Rainbow, is there anything you wanted me to get?” Twilight said.

“Nah,” Rainbow said, “Applejack and I have it covered.”

The unicorn nodded and left the two to walk toward the field. Applejack gave Rainbow a smile.

“Nice to see you and Twi getting on again,” she said.

“Yeah,” Rainbow said, smiling. “She’s been really great. I just don’t know how I’m going to make it up to her.”

“Now Rainbow,” Applejack said, frowning, “you know we don’t expect nothin’ of ya. I’m sure Twilight feels the same way and is just happy to be helpin’.”

“I know that,” Rainbow said. “It doesn’t change the fact that I want to repay her though. She has been amazing through this whole thing - even after the way I treated her. She deserves it,” Rainbow said with a small smile.

Applejack gave her friend a sly look. “‘Deserves it’, huh? Sounds like you got a thing for little ol’ Twi there.”

Rainbow sputtered and almost tripped on a tree root causing Applejack to fall over laughing at the pegasus. Rainbow gave her a disapproving frown while she waited for the earth pony to compose herself.

“Aw geez, Rainbow, I was just kiddin’. Didn’t expect that reaction,” Applejack said with a smile.

Rainbow grimaced realizing the corner she had backed herself into. “It isn’t like that, I swear,” she said. “I mean, I like Twi, I just don’t know if I ‘like’ like her, you know?”

“Sure thing sugarcube,” Applejack said, the smile not leaving her face. “You keep tellin’ yourself that.”

Rainbow scowled at her friend and started pulling the wagon forward again. Applejack got her to stop between each tree as she bucked the apples free. It wasn’t long before Rainbow realized just how much time they were saving. Applejack would have had to reattach the wagon each time she moved between the trees. Without the help Rainbow was providing it would have taken her almost double the time. She smiled as she took comfort in the fact that there was something she was still able to do to help her friends.

The two talked as they worked and before Rainbow knew it Twilight was walking up the path toward them.

“I thought you girls might like some lunch?” Twilight said.

“It’s lunch time already?” Rainbow asked.

“Time flies when you’re workin’ hard RD,” Applejack said. “I know this ‘hard work’ thing must be new to a pony like yourself,” she said.

Rainbow smiled at the familiar ribbing from her friend. It felt good to have things back to some semblance of normalcy for a while. When they finished the break they continued on with Twilight in tow. After the first couple of trees, Twilight started plucking the apples from adjacent trees, adding them to the cart. While not as fast as Applejack’s bucking they got an extra tree for every three they would have done without her.

Applejack smiled at the mares. “If I knew how much faster this would have been I would have hit you in the muzzle ages ago, Rainbow,” she said. The three of them laughed and spent the rest of the afternoon working and chatting. Once they were done they headed toward the house for dinner at Applejack’s insistence.

“I’m telling you girls it’s the least I can do for ya,” Applejack said. “Not only because of the help you’ve offered, but also the company. I’m usually out there alone, which I usually prefer, but it can get lonely sometimes. It’s faster for Big Mac and I to work separate fields so I rarely get anypony to talk to. Was good havin’ you girls out there today.” Applejack stopped with a thoughtful look on her face. “In fact, I might have a talk with Big Mac. Even with just Rainbow I managed to get the harvest done a lot faster than I would have otherwise. Might look into hiring someone extra to help out for harvest - maybe even cider season too. The extra money we make will offset the cost of the hiring and give us more time in the day to do others things around the place.”

Rainbow smiled as she thought about what she had achieved. Even though it wasn’t her intent she had given Applejack something that might make her life easier. Also, it could mean a job for some pony out there. She considered helping Applejack with the farm herself but dismissed the idea. She wasn’t sure what she wanted out of life anymore but she knew it wasn’t to be a farm pony. That didn’t rule out the possibility of helping her friend every now and then though. Not that she would admit it to Applejack but the day of hard work had left her beat and felt good.

The arrived in the house to dinner being served up. They noticed that Granny Smith had already laid out two extra places for them at the table. Applejack noticed Twilight’s confusion.

“You think Granny wouldn’t feed someone who’s been helping us all day? Where do you think I got it from?” she said, grinning.

Twilight smiled and sat down next to Apple Bloom as she listened to the excited filly tell her all about her crusading adventures that day. She listened politely while watching Rainbow Dash out of the corner of her eye. The pegasus was talking to Big Mac, and the way her forehooves flew about she knew it had to be something exciting. Mac sat watching the pegasus in confusion, which Rainbow Dash either didn’t notice, or didn’t seem to care about.

Once dinner was complete Applejack thanked them again for their help, and the two started to head back to the library. Twilight noticed the smile on Rainbow’s face.

“Feeling better?” she asked.

“Yeah, Rainbow said, nodding to her friend. “I’m glad I was able to help a friend. Although my legs are killing me. Don’t tell Applejack but I have a newfound respect for how strong she is to buck AND pull that cart each day.”

Twilight laughed and the two walked in a comfortable silence back to the library.

For the first time since her accident Rainbow awoke in the morning fully rested. She jumped up in shock and looked around the sunlit room in disbelief. She shook her head as she realised it must have been the exhaustion from pulling the cart. She walked out to find Twilight already up and in the kitchen preparing breakfast. The unicorn grinned as Rainbow entered.

“How are you? How did you sleep?” she said, obviously already knowing the answer.

“Like a rock,” Rainbow said, grinning herself. “I can’t believe I didn’t have any nightmares.”

“Me neither! I even checked on you a few times to make sure you were-” Twilight froze, realizing what she had said.

“You checked up on me?” Rainbow said with a raised eyebrow.

Twilight grimaced. “I’m really sorry, Rainbow, I just wanted to make sure you were okay and-”

“It’s okay, Twi, I’m not mad,” Rainbow said. “I know you are just worried about me. But maybe try to be a little less creepy about it, huh?” she said, smiling.

Twilight blushed and nodded. After the unicorn returned to the stove Rainbow allowed herself a small smile. She was actually flattered Twilight had come into her room. Was nice thinking she had someone that cute watching over her at night. She tried to stop those thoughts again. Twilight was just worried about her - that’s it. Nothing more to it. Probably.

The pegasus shook her head and grumbled to herself as she walked to the table and sat. After a few minutes they were joined by Spike and the two struck up a conversation while they waited for Twilight to finish. The unicorn lay plates of pancakes in from of them which Spike eyed with uncontrolled joy.

“You barely ever make pancakes! What is the big deal?” he asked.

“Well,” Twilight said, “Rainbow worked pretty hard yesterday. I thought she might like the extra big breakfast.”

“Well, you won’t hear me complaining!” Spike said. He paused. “Well, okay, you just did, but you won’t hear it again!”

The mares laughed as they all dug in to the food. Once they were done Spike started clearing the table.

“Where are you headed today?” Spike asked.

Rainbow was about to respond that she didn’t have the faintest when Twilight suddenly spoke up.

“Pinkie Pie’s,” she said. “I saw a few of the girls yesterday and we determined a schedule over the next days of whom Rainbow can help.” Twilight paused and looked over to Rainbow. “I hope that’s okay?” she said with a meek smile.

Rainbow grinned. She really wasn’t sure what to do over the next few days and was just going to see what happened. Twilight, being Twilight, had once again gone out of her way to help her. She smiled up at the unicorn.

“Heck, I can’t argue with Ponyville’s best organizer, can I?”

Twilight blushed and Spike stifled a laugh with his claw. She looked up at Rainbow. “Is it okay if you head down there yourself for the morning? I’ll be up after lunch, but I have to take care of a few things around here beforehand.”

Rainbow nodded at the mare, and left the library to head toward Sugarcube Corner with a smile on her face. Today was going to be awesome.

Today had been a nightmare.

Rainbow grimaced as she once again dropped the eggs against the floor. She cursed and made to pick them up, but instead slipped in the sauce she had dropped earlier and fell face first onto the floor sending up a puff of flour. Pinkie helped her up and the pegasus went, once again, to get the mop and bucket. She had spent more time cleaning her own messes than she had actually cooking anything.

Rainbow sighed in frustration. Pulling a cart had been easy. She hadn’t needed her wing so she hadn’t thought about it all day. It wasn’t until trying to handle the small ingredients that she realized how much she had relied on her wings to do even the simplest of things. It wasn’t just balance. Pegasus used their wings to hold things too. Even the most flightless of pegasus still used their wings for regular everyday chores. She hadn’t realised how little she used her hooves for this kind of thing until she tried.

She found her right wing constantly coming around from her back to hold things in place and automatically letting go of them with her hooves. This, obviously, made the object in question fall to the ground. It took her two bags of flour before she realized what was happening. Her reflexes assumed her left wing was there to take the slack and it was safe to let go of with her hooves.

So she had switched tactics. After crushing the fifth egg between her hooves she stopped trying that too. Watching Pinkie handle everything with ease only made it all the more frustrating. She started down at her hooves and wondered how those cloppers could ever do anything with accuracy. She envied earth ponies for their dexterity in using their hooves. Being a pegasus had not trained her in their use and made her feel like a foal.

Pinkie had been encouraging but she was starting to see the grimaces on the earth ponies face each time she reached for another ingredient. She had all but given up by the time Twilight arrived.

When Twilight looked at Rainbow she knew something was wrong. She took a moment to look around the room and nothing looked too out of place. Pinkie bounced over to her.

“Hey, Twilight! How are things? Rainbow has been wonderific in helping me today!”

Rainbow scoffed. “Don’t bother, Pinkie, you know as well as I do that I’ve been nothing but a nuisance today. I don’t even know why I bothered.”

Twilight frowned as Pinkie looked over at her friend with sadness in her eyes. “Don’t say that, Dashie, you’ve been a great help! Sure you broke a few things but that doesn’t matter. You helped me and you made me happy to be with a friend for the day.”

Rainbow sighed. “Yeah okay, Pinkie,” she said, eyes not leaving the floor. “Twi, can we just go?”

The two left the shop with a sad Pinkie waving from the door. Rainbow said nothing as they walked toward the library. Twilight took a breath.

“Did you want to talk about it?” she asked.

“Not really,” Rainbow said.

Twilight frowned and the two of them finished the journey in silence. When they arrived home Rainbow went straight up to her room and closed the door behind her. Spike looked at Twilight with a questioning look in his eyes. Twilight just sighed and shrugged.

A few hours later, after the sun had set, Rainbow left the room and headed to the shower. She knew she was being stupid in not talking to Twilight but she couldn’t help it. Pride was a lot harder to beat than she first thought.

As she stepped into the shower she closed her eyes, and went to turn the handles with her wings. At once cold water hit her and she jumped back in shock. Realising her stupidity she quickly reached forward with her hoof to turn the hot but, in her haste and lack of practice, she broke the handle off. Scowling she turned the cold off with her wing and stepped out of the shower.

She stopped as she caught her reflection in the mirror. A sad, wet, deformed pegasus looked back at her. She started shaking in rage and lurched forward with her hooves. The mirror smashed and fell to pieces around her. Her forelegs started bleeding slightly where the glass had hit her as it fell but she barely noticed. Rainbow fell to the floor.

Suddenly the door behind her burst open and Twilight rushed into the room.

“Rainbow what is… oh my god, you’re bleeding!” she said, rushing forward. She dropped to the floor and took the pegasus hooves in her own. After giving them a look over she cast the minor healing spells she had learnt to seal up the wounds. They weren’t fancy but they would stop bleeding until she could get some bandages on them.

“Rainbow, what happened?” Twilight said, looking at the pegasus. Rainbow raised her eye’s to look into Twilight and the unicorn gasped as she saw the tears flowing free.

“I’m pathetic,” Rainbow said. “I’m so damn pathetic.”

Twilight quickly wrapped her with her forelegs and Rainbow gripped onto the unicorn as if for life. Her body shook as sobs overtook the mare she was holding. Twilight’s chest was wet with tears as she held the pegasus close. She ran her hoof down the pegasus’ rainbow mane as she tried to think of something to say.

“No, Rainbow, you’re not,” she said. “You are the furthest thing from pathetic I have ever seen. I know you, Rainbow, and I know how strong you are. I have seen the things you do, how you treat your friends, how you stand up for us all.”

The pegasus was looking up at Twilight. The tears were still flowing but she had stopped sobbing. She seemed to be hanging off Twilight words. She looked afraid.

“You are the strongest mare I know,” Twilight said. “You are the bravest, most courageous pony I have ever seen. Something bad happened to you and you have handled it the best you could. No-one blames you, and no-one thinks you’re worthless. You are amazing, Rainbow, you really are. I know you’re going to get through this. You get through everything. You are Rainbow - fucking - Dash. And I love you,” Twilight said, tears running down her face to join those on her chest.

Rainbow looked at her in shock. “You… you mean it?” she asked.

Twilight nodded and pulled the pegasus close again. Rainbows world was spinning. ‘She said she loved me,’ she thought, ‘what did she mean by that?’

Only one way to find out.

Rainbow lifted her head and brought her muzzle up to Twilight’s. The purple mare’s eyes widened in shock, and Rainbow thought she had made a terrible mistake. She was about to break from the mare when Twilight’s eyes closed, and the unicorn sighed, leaning into the kiss. They stayed that way for a few long seconds before breaking apart and looking at each other in awe. Twilight smiled and hugged the stunned pegasus.

“Come on,” Twilight said, “let’s go get those arms wrapped up.”