Losing Air

“So, what now?” Rainbow asked.

The two mares sat in the kitchen with the pegasus’ forelegs bandaged tight. Twilight had tended to her wounds in silence but the two could not keep from sneaking glances at each other. With nothing left to occupy their hooves the silence had gotten awkward.

“Well I don’t think you will need a trip to the hospital, but it would pay to keep the bandages on for a couple of days so they don’t start bleeding again,” Twilight said, not quite meeting her friend’s eyes.

“You know that’s not what I’m talking about,” Rainbow said, frowning.

“I know,” Twilight said, nodding, “but I’m pointedly avoiding the elephant in the room.”

“Look,” Rainbow said, sighing, “If you want to just forget about it it’s okay. I understand.”

Twilight’s eyebrows lifted. “No, that’s not it at all, I’ve just never really… you know…”

It was Rainbow’s turn to raise her eyebrows. “Like, never?”

Twilight frowned. “After everything I’ve told you the past few days what makes you think I would have?”

Rainbow grimaced and looked down at her hooves on the table. “Sorry, Twi, I didn’t think,” she said.

“It’s okay. It’s just everything is going to be pretty new to me. What about you? Have you been - wait, no, I don’t really need to know and it isn’t any of my business,” Twilight said, her cheeks turning pink.

‘She is so cute,’ Rainbow thought. She smiled at the unicorn and rested her head on her hooves. This only caused Twilight to turn a deeper shade which in turn made Rainbow laugh.

“It’s okay, Twi, I don’t mind. I had a few hook-ups when I was in flight camp. Nothing serious and nothing since then. I’ve always been too busy. Never really the time to find anyone, you know?”

Twilight nodded more for something to do than in agreement. She fidgeted for a few moments before looking up at Rainbow Dash.

“So what do we do now?” she asked.

“I really don’t know,” Rainbow said with a shrug. “I’ve never really been in this situation before. Is this something you want?” she asked.

Twilight nodded and smiled which instantly sent a warm feeling rushing into Rainbow’s stomach. The pegasus smiled again and held out her hooves across the table. Twilight paused for a moment before slowly bringing her own to meet them. When they touched both mares smiled.

“What do you say,” Rainbow said, “we just take it slow. Neither of us are in any position to be making any major life decisions right now. Obviously.”

Twilight laughed and nodded her head. “Sounds good to me,” she said, the smile not leaving her face as she looked at Rainbow.

“Well, this is awkward,” a green dragon said from the doorway.

Twilight let out a squeak, jumping back so fast the chair she was sitting on tilted backwards and, with a crash, sent both itself and it’s occupant to the floor. Rainbow’s head hit the table as she collapsed in laughter with Spike following close behind. The unicorn picked herself up off the floor with a scowl that she couldn’t quite keep as straight as she would have liked.

Once they had calmed down Spike continued. “So, you and Rainbow, huh?”

“Um, kinda sitting right here?” Rainbow said.

Twilight giggled. “I guess so, Spike, it just sort of crept up on us. We aren’t really sure of anything yet so would you mind keeping it to yourself?”

“Yeah, no biggie,” Spike said, walking to the fridge.

“Wait, what? You’re okay with this?” Twilight asked.

Spike shrugged. “It’s not my life. You can do what you want - you’re a grown mare. Besides, it’s nice to see you live a little for a change.”

Twilight opened her mouth to defend her living choices when she noticed the sly expression on the dragons face. She took a breath and smiled before leaning forward to swat him on the head. This prompted Rainbow to start laughing again.

After dinner the three made their way to the bedrooms. Rainbow hesitated at the door.

“Um, Twi, could I get you to come in with me for a moment?”

“Well, I don’t need to stick around for this, I’m off to bed,” Spike said, covering his eyes and walking into the bedroom shared between himself and Twilight, who blushed and started stammering.

“It’s not that,” Rainbow said. “I just need to talk to her for a bit.”

Spike shrugged and made a point to pick up his earmuffs, placing them over his ears, before walking over and shutting the door on them.

“Why that little… “ Twilight said, glaring at the door.

“Oh he’s just messing with you,” Rainbow said with a chuckle. Twilight nodded her head and smiled. Rainbow leaned her head against the door and pushed her way in with Twilight following closely behind. Once they were in the room Rainbow sat down on the side of the bed. She motioned for Twilight to join her.

“What is this about, Rainbow?” Twilight said, taking her place next to the mare.

The pegasus sighed and looked to her hooves. “I want to tell you about the dream I’ve been having.”

Twilight’s eyes widened. She had been waiting for Rainbow to start opening up, and was both excited and nervous to have it happen. She took a breath to calm her nerves.

“Whatever you want to tell me, Rainbow, I’m here to listen.”

Rainbow turned her head and gave the unicorn a smile. She took a deep breath herself before saying, “When I first starting having the dream it was the night after I left the hospital.”

The pegasus forced breath from her nose and stood from the bed. “I don’t even know why it’s so hard to say. It’s stupid.”

Twilight looked up at her friend. “I’m not going to judge you, Rainbow, you’re safe here,” she said, motioning the bed beside her. Rainbow frowned but took her place on the bed again anyway. A war seemed to play across her face before she swallowed hard and turned to Twilight.

“It starts out the same every time. I’m in flight camp and the other foals there are laughing at me. At first I’m confused - I was teased a bit in fight camp but nothing major. I go to ask someone why they are laughing at me when one of them starts chanting ‘cripple’. The rest join in and that is when I look around to see both my wings are gone.

“I turn back to the kids but they’ve changed. They are all the ponies from Ponyville - still chanting. I push through the crowd and see you and the other girls sitting there. I rush forward to get to you but somepony steps in my way. When I look up it’s my dad. His expression, its… disgust. I ask him why he’s looking at me that way.”

The pegasus sighed and looked Twilight in the eye. “All he says is, ‘You’re worthless. You’re barely even a pegasus.’ At that moment the clouds seem to just stop supporting me. I drop and fall to the ground below. I know I’m going to die and I can’t do anything to stop it. I always wake when I hit the ground.”

Twilight had tears in her eyes. She knew the pegasus thought of herself as not being a pegasus any more, but didn’t realize the depth of it. She chose her next words carefully.

“Rainbow, I hate to ask, but why is it your dad?”

Rainbow grimaced and looked away. She coughed to clear her throat and even though Twilight couldn’t see the pegasus’ face she knew the mare was crying.

“He left us. When I was pretty young. I don’t remember much except that he used to be drunk a lot. I still remember the smell of his breath each night. Phoenix whiskey. It’s weird, but that smell always makes me scared and relieved at the same time. It’s like, a fucked up version of home, or something. I don’t know.”

Rainbow paused for a few moments and Twilight lifted her hoof to stroke the pegasus’ mane. Rainbow shivered under the touch and turned to look Twilight in the eyes.

“Those were the last words he said to me. When I was a foal I was really behind on my flight. I couldn’t hover or do any of the things most foals my age could do that the time. He was screaming at Mom like normal, but somehow I could tell it was different. He never hit us or anything. He would usually scream and yell and break something then go back into his study to drink more.

“But, like I said, that night was different. He just wouldn’t stop screaming at her. I was so scared. I was barely six and I ran up to him and kicked him as hard as I could. He was so shocked he just stared down at me. I was so scared he was going to hit me I just curled up into a ball. He looked at me and said, ‘You’re worthless. You’re barely even a pegasus.’, then he grabbed his coat and left. We never saw him again.

“He is pretty much the reason I push myself so hard now. I just want to prove him wrong, you know? I know it sounds dumb but after what he put my mom and I through… I just want to be better.”

Rainbow finished her story and Twilight sat stunned. She had no idea what she could say that would make anything okay. Her own family life was a picturesque view of happiness. Loving mother, father, brother. She knew things like this happened to people, but always just assumed it was someone else. Not someone she would know.

She opened her forelegs and Rainbow entered them gladly. She ran her hoof down the pegasus’ mane again as Rainbow cried into her chest. It wasn’t the wracking sobs of earlier, but a more deep and personal emotion. The pegasus had confided in her more than Twilight could have ever hoped, and the unicorn realized that she didn’t know what to do. She, for the first time in her life, stopped trying to think. She let her emotions take over.

Reaching her hoof under the pegasus’ chin she lifted Rainbow’s eyes so they would meet her own. Still wet with tears the pegasus almost looked fearful.

“You are not worthless. You are perfect,” she said, lowering her muzzle to the pegasus’. She could taste the tears from Rainbow mixed with the roughness of her tongue. The pair fell backwards onto the bed and kissed more urgently. Rainbow clutched Twilight’s head in her own hooves and pulled the mare closer. The two broke apart and Rainbow buried her head into Twilights chest again.

“Thanks, Twi, for everything.”

Twilight didn’t respond. They lay there for a while before Twilight heard Rainbow start snoring softly. Using her magic the unicorn disentangled herself from the pegasus without waking the sleeping mare. Once Rainbow was tucked into her bed Twilight walked to the door. She turned back to look at the sleeping form on the bed before mentally blowing out the candle on her bedside table.

“Goodnight, Rainbow Dash,” she said, closing the door behind her.

For the second night in a row Rainbow Dash didn’t have any nightmares. Their day today was spent with Fluttershy helping her with some odd jobs around her house. Rainbow struggled at first but, with some help from Twilight, managed to pull through the day. They were on their way home when Rainbow stopped in the general store to grab some super glue. Twilight gave her a questioning look as she placed the item into her bag but Rainbow just shook her head.

“Just something I’m working on. I’ll show you when it’s done.”

The next day was spent with Rarity helping her around the boutique. Although frustrated at first with the task she had been assigned (“Oh I know I have clothes horses, darling, but seeing the way the fabric falls on a live mare really has no substitute.”) she had quickly come to enjoy being able to watch Twilight.

The unicorn spent most of her time reading, and Dash was angled just in such a way that she could watch the mare out of the corner of her eye without arousing suspicions. The two had continued to keep their relationship a secret, but it was more a lie of omission than anything else. They would tell people when they were ready and not a moment sooner.

Rainbow was clothed in a particularly frilly number when Rarity huffed in frustration.

“No, this simply won’t do, your body type is all wrong. Twilight! Come over here a moment, darling, I need your help.”

Twilight looked stunned for a moment as she was pulled out of her book. After shaking her head to clear it she stood up and walked over to the designer. She was, much to her discomfort, soon wrapped in the same fabrics as the pegasus pony. Once she was done Rarity looked between them with a thoughtful expression on her face.

“No, you aren’t right for it either. Might I say though that the two of you make a delightful couple,” she said, winking.

Twilight stood stunned as the pegasus’ sputtered. Rarity raised an eyebrow at the two of them.

“What? You think I didn’t notice you, Rainbow, staring at Twilight all day?” she said with a smirk. Rainbow blushed. “And you, Twilight, I know how fast you read, and you’ve not moved from the page you were on for the past twenty minutes. You did, however, manage to position yourself to steal glances at Rainbow every time you thought I wasn’t looking.”

Twilight had the decency to look ashamed. “I’m sorry, Rarity, we didn’t mean to keep it from you, we just wanted-”

“No, no, Twilight, you don’t need to explain yourself to me. I understand why you would want to keep it under wraps for a while and your secret is safe with me. And Fluttershy. And Applejack.”

“What!” Twilight said. “You’re going to tell them?”

Rarity laughed. “Oh they are the ones who told me, darling. The three of us went out to dinner last night and Fluttershy brought up how the two of you seemed very close. You probably thought you were being coy at her house too didn’t you?” At the expressions on their faces Rarity smirked. “And Applejack mentioned that Rainbow Dash had let something slip that she didn’t mean to when working on the farm. It doesn’t take a math genius to put two and two together.”

Twilight looked at Rainbow Dash. “Let something slip?”

Rainbow grimaced. “Well, I didn’t really say anything, but I might have, um, face planted when she brought you up in that way.” At seeing Twilight’s expression she quickly added, “Not that she brought you up in that way or anything! What I mean to say is, uh, that she mentioned I might like you. And I fell. On my face.”

Twilight smiled at the blush filling Rainbow’s cheeks. She heard Rarity practically squeal with delight.

“Oh my gosh you simply must let me make you two some matching outfits!”

“No!” the two mares said simultaneously.

Rarity frowned at her friends. “Well, I know you two aren’t particularly interested in fashion, but I can assure you I-”

“It’s not that, Rarity, really,” Twilight said. “I’m sure you would make the perfect outfits for us. We just, well, don’t really want to advertise it right now.”

“Or course, darling,” Rarity said with a smile. “As I said, your secret is safe with me. Well, us. Can Pinkie know? I don’t like the idea of one of our friends being left out. Especially with how she reacted last time we kept a secret from her.”

The three of the grimaced at the memory. Rainbow shuddered as she tried to forget her argument with a pile of rocks.

“I don’t see why not. What do you think, Rainbow?” Twilight asked.

“Yeah fine with me. If the rest of you girls know there’s no reason to keep it a secret any more,” Rainbow said. “But just Pinkie Pie. It’s not really anypony elses business after all.”

Rarity raised an eyebrow. “You want me to tell Pinkie and have her not throw you a party right away to celebrate?”

Twilight and Rainbow grimaced. “You’re right,” Twilight said. “We’ll talk to her this afternoon.”

“Well whatever you do tell her I think it is important that the six of us go out the celebrate. It’s not everyday that one’s friends find a special somepony, and it would be a shame to just sweep it under the rug. We simply must go out tonight!”

“I don’t know, Rares, it’s kinda short notice,” Rainbow said.

“Nonsense. I plan to celebrate my friends finding happiness and I will not hear another word about it. There is a new restaurant in town I have been dying to try out anyway. I will talk to Applejack and Fluttershy to see if they are available, and you two can deal with Pinkie. Now be off with you - I have an outfit to pick out.”

The two mares looked at each other with looks of despair. While a seemingly easier chore, they knew that breaking the news to Pinkie that they had planned a party without her would be tough, even though it was barely a party at all.

Rarity dismissed the two to Sugarcube Corner and they left. About halfway there Rainbow turned to Twilight.

“So, we’re marefriends now, I guess?” she asked.

“I guess so,” Twilight said, nodding. “I mean, we pretty much were, right? We just never said it out loud.”

Rainbow nodded and smiled. The two of them walking in a comfortable silence the rest of the way to the bakery.

As expected, Pinkie Pie was happy at the news, excited at the prospect of a party, slightly sad at the fact she didn’t get to plan it, but happy that her friends would all be together. The earth pony saw them out the door with a promise of a surprise for the weekend which left the pair both happy and nervous.

“Well that went better than I thought it would,” Rainbow said, a bemused look on her face.

“Yeah, me too, I was worried she would be upset but she really just seemed happy that we were happy,” Twilight said. “Which, now that I’ve said it out loud, sounds exactly like Pinkie would react.”

“Yeah,” Rainbow said, nodding, “I guess you’re right.”

“What do you think her surprise will be?”

Rainbow shook her head. “With Pinkie you will never know.”

The two arrived home and spent most of the evening enjoying one anothers company. When the time came to getting ready, Twilight excused herself to her room, while Rainbow had a quick shower and threw on a dress. It had taken all up about ten minutes. She had been waiting on the ground floor of the library for an hour and was almost falling asleep. Spike had left for the crusaders clubhouse about half an hour beforehand for a sleepover so the pegasus had no-one to talk to. When the door to Twilight’s room opened Rainbow sighed in relief and jumped off the couch. As the unicorn stepped out onto the top of the stairs Rainbow’s mouth fell open.

Twilight was wearing a stunning blue dress that complimented her coat and mane perfectly. It was almost the same as her gala dress, but not as formal and hugged her figure in much more flattering ways. As she walked down the stairs Rainbow just stared.

“You’re going to catch a fly if you keep your mouth open like that,” Twilight said as she reached the floor. Rainbow would have almost been convinced if Twilight’s grin didn’t betray how much she enjoyed the pegasus’ attention.

“Twi, you look amazing,” Rainbow said.

“Thanks,” Twilight said, smiling.

“Where did you get that - wait, Rarity?”

Twilight nodded. “I found it when browsing her clothing line the other day. She said it was based on my gala dress. I’m glad you like it.”

Rainbow looked down at the simple dress she herself was wearing. She felt underdressed and her face must have reflected that.

“Don’t worry, Rainbow, you look fine,” Twilight said, wrapping her forelegs around the pegasus. The two kissed which soon became deeper as Rainbow pulled Twilight closer. They broke apart with heavy breaths and looked into one another eye’s.

“Let’s go to that party before we don’t,” Rainbow said.

Twilight nodded and locked the door behind them as they walked toward the restaurant. The pair arrived and were shown to the table where all the others bar Pinkie were already waiting. Apparently they were all as excited as Rarity at the news and were glad to join them for dinner. After a few minutes of conversation the party pony joined them. She was carrying a purple box wrapped in a light blue ribbon on her back.

“Howdy guys! Sorry it took so long to her here - this thing is heavy!”

Twilight levitated the gift in front of herself and Rainbow Dash. She was about to open it when Pinkie stopped her.

“You might want not want to open it here. Perhaps you should go outside to do it. I don’t think the ponies in here would appreciate it,” Pinkie said, grinning.

Twilight and Rainbow exchanged a look before excusing themselves to walk outside. The girls watched through the window as the two sat down on a bench.

Applejack looked to Pinkie. “What did ya get em?” she asked.

“Oh,” Pinkie said, smiling, “just something they might enjoy.”

They watched as the unicorn lifted the lid off the box only for both of the mares to turn a deep red and the lid to slam back down. Twilight’s horn shimmered and the box suddenly disappeared. Once they arrived back in the restaurant Pinkie was bouncing in her seat.

“Did you like it?” she asked.

“It was, ahem, very thoughtful of you, Pinkie,” Twilight said with a frazzled look. “If you don’t mind I am just going to head to the bathroom to freshen up.”

“I’ll come with,” Rarity said with an evil grin. The two left the others at the table.

“I have no idea what just happened,” Fluttershy said, frowning. Applejack laughed and pat the mare on the hoof.

“You will when you’re older, sugar cube.”

Fluttershy frowned but her expression soon changed as her eyes widened and her cheeks turned pink. This caused Rainbow and Pinkie to laugh which made the shy pegasus’ blush deepen.

Once the others returned they placed their orders and spent the rest of the night chatting and drinking. Rainbow was pointedly staying away from anything alcoholic so Twilight did the same. Many congratulations were given to the new couple and many a laugh were had at their expense, but all seemed happy with the company of one another.

“I dare say we should do this more often girls. I rarely get to see all of you in one place unless there is something threatening Equestria. Especially if you are going to start wearing my outfits which, by the way Twilight, looks absolutely stunning on you,” Rarity said, beaming at the unicorn.

“Well I don’t know about no dresses. But I like seein’ yall and would be glad to make it a more regular thing,” Applejack said.

After dinner the girls said their goodbyes and went back to their homes. Twilight and Rainbow walked together in the cool night air back to the library.

“Did you have fun tonight?” Twilight asked.

“Yeah,” Rainbow said, smiling, “I really did. It’s great to see everyone happy.”

Twilight smiled and the two fell into a comfortable silence. As they were walking the unicorn shivered. Her dress was great to look at but didn’t offer much in the way of warmth. She gasped in surprise as she felt a wing drape over her back.

“I hope this is okay,” Rainbow said. “I know we aren’t telling everypony but-”

Twilight cut her off with a kiss.

“Thanks, Rainbow,” the unicorn said, smiling.

The two walked the rest of the way home and entered the dark library. When Twilight lit the candles their attention was pulled to the purple box in the room. Rainbow gave Twilight a sly smile.

The unicorns horn lit up, and the lock to the door behind them clicked.

“I quit.”

Rainbow stood in front of Thunderlane who looked stunned.

“What do you mean?” he asked.

Rainbow laughed. “Pretty sure you know what it means. I sent a letter of resignation to the manager in Cloudsdale today, but I thought it would be better if you heard it from me yourself,” she said, smiling at the stallion.

Thunderlane shook his head. “But you can’t quit - we need you here!” he said.

Rainbow smiled. “Look, Thunder, I had a great time working here, but it’s not the place for me any more.” She lifted her good wing and looked at it. “I know there is more to weather than just flying, but it’s what made it appeal to me in the first place. I love you guys, and I love the fun we had, but I need to find something to do with the rest of my life. And weather ain’t it.”

Thunderlane sighed. “Yeah I get where you’re coming from. No-one expected you to stay around forever anyway. We knew the Wonderbolts would snap you up sooner or later and-” he stopped at the expression on Rainbow’s face. “I’m sorry, boss, I didn’t think-”

“It’s okay,” she said, forcing a smile. “It’s rough, but I’m handling it.” She walked to look at the map of Ponyville. “Won’t lie and say I’m not gonna miss it though. It was great working with you guys. We had some good times.”

“Hell yeah we did,” Thunderlane said. “It won’t be the same without you, boss.”

Rainbow raised an eyebrow. “Don’t go getting all mushy on me now, Thunder, I’ll think you’ve gone soft.” The two laughed.

They said their goodbyes, with promises to catch up soon, and Rainbow left the weather office. It had been a few days since the weekend and Rainbow had discussed her decision with Twilight to leave the weather team. Although hesitant at first, Twilight soon understood that she couldn’t keep working there, she had to find something new.

Rainbow’s hoofwork had increased in accuracy too since starting up her project. She had spent an hour each day piecing back together her young fliers trophy and was hoping to surprise Twilight with her achievement that afternoon. It was almost complete and she wanted to show the unicorn that she had been working hard and had improved.

Rainbow paused as she thought about her marefriend. She still had no idea how she was going to make it up to the unicorn for everything she had done, but felt more comfortable now that the two of them were happy together. She still had no idea why Twilight had chosen her, broken as she was, to be her marefriend. She tried to stamp down on those thoughts but they still managed to creep in every now and then.

‘As long as I keep moving forward I’ll be fine,’ she thought. She just hoped moving forward wasn’t the same as running away.

The pegasus stopped at Roseluck’s store to pick up some flowers.

“Oh, who is the special somepony?” Roseluck asked.

“Someone who makes me very happy,” Rainbow said, smiling.

Roseluck grinned. “Ah, a mystery is it? Well, small town like Ponyville, I’ll find out sooner or later. I wish you the best of luck,” she said.

“Thanks,” Rainbow said, grinning. After grabbing the flowers in her mouth she walked back toward the library. Her heart leaped as the familiar building came into view. She realized she had already started to think of the place as home. A sigh escaped her as she went to push on the door, but she paused when she heard voices beyond.

“Twilight, I saw the way you looked the other night, are you sure this is what you want to do?” the voice Rainbow identified as Rarity said.

“It’s what I need to do. For Rainbow,” Twilight responded.

For Rainbow? What was she talking about? What had she done?

“Twilight, as much as I admire what you are doing, you simply can’t do this to yourself.”

Rainbow heard Twilight sigh. “It doesn’t matter any more. It’s done.”

“Well then let me at least ask you this,” Rarity said. “Do you even love her?”

Rainbow’s breath caught in her throat. She couldn’t move as she realized what they were discussing. ‘No’, she thought, ‘there is no way. Twilight would never do that to me. She would do anything for…’

Rainbow stopped thinking when she heard Twilight sobs.

Her heart sank. She knew. She had known all along. It was too perfect - the way everything had gone. It was all a lie. It was fake. Twilight was doing what she always did - tried to fix things. Tears came to Rainbow’s eyes as the flowers fell from her mouth. She looked down as they hit the ground. She felt herself start shaking as the tears flowed down her face. With a stomp she pounded the flowers into doorstop.

With a deep breath she turned and walked away from the library. She had an appointment with a bottle of Phoenix whiskey that she intended on keeping.