Tom Hanks in Equestria

Early in the morning Tom Hanks from Forrest Gump woke up from a nice dream. He went outside and started to beat the shit out of a tree because he didn't like the way it was looking at him.

"Stop hitting that tree!" Scootaloo cried " That's where my mom and dad are buried!"

"AHHHHHHH! Screamed Tom. Tom then proceeded to shove his hoof down Scootaloo's throat. He then ripped out her heart and played poker with it. The heart won and this pissed off Tom Hanks from The Ladykillers so much he put the heart back into Scootaloo, ripped off her wings, sowed them onto his own back, and flew to Canterlot.

Tom Hanks arrived in Canterlot 5 years later. He was very tired so he walked down the street to find something to drink. He saw Fancy Pants and ripped off his horn. Tom proceed to drink the blood out of Fancy's horn hole. It was very refreshing. Tom then saw Fluttersly eating bunnies in a nearby meadow, he wanted to say hello but didn't. Instead, he bought  27,000,000,000 ants and forcibly inserted them into her ears. She thought this felt funny so she ripped out her hair and played jump rope with it until she fell over and melted. Tom ran to the Canterlot castle where Princess Celestia and Princess Luna lived. When he got there Princess Luna was yelling into Princess Celestia's vagina so she could scare away the evil spirits that resided inside.

"Tom, wass'up man!?" said Celestia as she cut off Luna's head to use as a sacrifice for the evil spirits.

"Oh, nothing you STUPID FUCKING WHORE! I was wondering if you could maybe bring Twilight Pickle and  Pinkie Pie back from the dead."

"Sure Tom Cruise from Risky Business,  I'd do anything just to hold you in my arms. To try to make you laugh, because somehow I can't put you in the past."

"What?"

"Nothing! Shut the fuck up!"

"Whatever." said Tom annoyed. "How will you bring them back?"

"With a very simple plan (ha!). I can do it by using a very basic spell. Stand back, I'm about to start the very basic spell that's part of my very simple plan!... ABRACADABRA!

With that Twilight Carpool III and Pinkie Pie appeared in front of them. Along side them was a mysterious colt that had a brown coat and mane, with blue eyes.

"Hi there, I'm Brown Sugar! Oh wow, This sure is a nice cas-" But he couldn't finish his statement because Tom jumped into his mouth, went down his intestinal tract, and emerged out of his anus covered in sprinkles. Tom then started to punch and kick the brown pony in the balls repeatedly.

"Please, I'm begging you, st-st-stop." plead the bloody colt on the ground.

"Pancakes can't read books! Pancakes don't even have eyes you fucking piece of fucking shit!"

Tom Hanks from the movie Apollo 13 then pulled out a rocket launcher from his pocket, shot Mr. Brown guy in the face, and lit him on fire. Tom suddenly whistled very loudly. Then ponies of all shapes, sizes, and colors shuffled into the room one by one. All of a sudden Steamlined, Pinepoint, Agile Ace, Octavio, Storm Breaker, Golden Doodle, Solemn Sky, Violet Spark, Ace Monte, Shadowburn, Peanut, Cadenza, Wirdal, Grenade Happy, Bubble Gum, Just Sly, White North, Midnight Eclipse, Cupcakes. and Sunburn all started to violently rape and beat Brown Sugar. He got so mad and tired of being raped and beaten that he grabbed a random pony out of the bunch. He then ripped off Wirdal's face and ate it. Brown Sugar then ran and jumped out of a window, fell down 1,000,000 stories, and died.

Since Brown Sugar was dead, Tom had no reason to keep all these ponies around, and he was feeling rather hungry. So Tom Hanks from the movie Joe Versus the Volcano ate all of their legs and they died. The evil spirits in Princess Celestia's vagina finished the rest of the dead ponies bodies. They were very tasty.

The whole time that that dude was getting raped, Twiglight and Pinkie Pie were eating shards of glass and playing sudoku. That's when Nicholas Cage showed up and shot himself in face. Princess Cellessteeyeah saw a spider on the wall in front of her and flipped out killing everything in sight. She then killed herself.

Lying on the ground in a pool of his own blood, Tom Hanks from the movie Turner and Hooch thought about his whole life. How he had so much fun playing with his sweet mother Twhylite. All the good times he spent with his auntie Pinkie Pie. They're dead now, and there is nothing he can do besides hope that they're happy. Tom knows he has to die so all this crazy stuff will end, and he's ok with it. He's lived a nice life and is ready to go on to what awaits him over the horizon.

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Tom Hanks wakes up in his bed covered in sweat and screaming at the top of his lungs.

"What's wrong?" asks his wife in a panic.

"Oh, nothing. I was just having a bad dream, I guess. Don't worry about it."

"Ok honey, goodnight. I love you."

"I love you too, goodnight." said Tom. Tom then kissed her gently on the forehead and went back to sleep so he could get ready for the busy day he had ahead of him. He pissed the bed.

THE END.