Tom Hanks in Equestria

After a very long and very tiring day at work Tom Hanks walks through the front door of his muti-million dollar house.

"Hey Tom!" screams his wife skipping out of the kitchen to see her husband.

"Yeah, Hi." Grunted Tom as he pushes his sweet, beautiful, loving, caring wife out of the way to get to the kitchen.

"What did you make for me to eat?" growls Tom as he swigs down a freshly opened beer.

"Oh. I haven't made anything. I'm actually pretty tired and was hoping you could just make yourself a sandwich or something."

"What!? A sandwich!? I don't work every day to let you live in my house just so you can sit on your lazy ass all  day so I can have a sandwich! I married someone so I would have a clean house and food on the table when I got home! So please answer this one simple question! Why the fuck do I not have a hot meal on the damn table?!"

"I'm sorry. I... I can make you some soup really quick if you want it."

Tom Hanks was getting madder and madder with each passing word. He had it it with her and was tired of making Toy Story movies. He just couldn't do it any more.

"Don't worry about it. I won't be here much longer anyway."

With those words, Tom broke off half of the now empty beer bottle on the counter beside him. He put the jagged edges of the broken bottle against the thin flesh of his neck and savored every single second of the sweet pain that signified his release from this dull and empty life.

+++++++++++++++++++++

So a horse with Tom Hanks' face was doing cartwheels down the street, right. Then Applejack walked up and was going to say something but before the words could leave her lips Rainbow Dash did a sonic rainboom right through Applejack's neck. This made Dash pretty mad.

"Dammit, that's the second time this week!" exclaimed My Little Dashie. "I still have Lyra's blood in my mane from last time." Dash turned around to see her latest victim, but when she saw who it was she killed, her heart stopped.

"Oh no! AppleJack, I'm so sorry. I'm so so so sorry!" She stared into AppleJack's cold, dead, lifeless eyes waiting for a response.

2 Hours Later

Tom was getting bored waiting to hear what Applejack was going to say, so he decided to go home to see his mother Twilight Skarkull. When Tom Hanks from that movie The Great Buck Howard arrived at the tree house, Twilight was sacrificing Spike to Celestia.

"Hey mommy!"

"Hi honey, how was school today?"

"I'm 56."

"Oh yeah. Well, did anything interesting happen today?" Said Twilight as she lodged a knife into Spike's forehead.

"Rainbow Dash accidentally killed Applejack."

Twilight was ecstatic. "Wonderful! We'll bake a cake!"

"I'm not hungry." said Tom looking worried and lost in thought. "Mommy, Where did I come from?"

"Twilight chuckled."I thought I told you that story already. Come here and sit on mamma's lap." Tom was twice her size so when he sat down he broke both of her legs.

"You see Tom Hanks from Toy Story 2 and 3, one night your aunt Pinkie Pie and I got super hammered and did lots and lots of cocaine. We got really hungry but it was two o'clock in the morning, so we went to Waffle House. We ate 500 pancakes, our waitress, and the jukebox. All of a sudden me and Pinkie looked into each others eyes and we both knew it was time for some romance... so she fucked me in the bathroom. The cocaine had worn off and we were very tired so we went back home, got in bed, fell asleep, and when we woke up the next morning we were both nine months pregnant. We were very happy, but we didn't want to have two kids, so we cut out half of one baby and half of the other equally and sowed the pieces togeather into one baby and that's how you came to be."

"That's nice." Said Tom as he walked out the door to go to Fluttershy's cottage. When he got there Fluttershy had Colgate, Berrypunch, Doctor Hooves, Derpy Hooves, Bon-Bon, Vinyl Scratch, Octavia, and 1,000,000,000,000,000,000 more different background ponies (Yeah, there's that many, fuck you!) over for a grill out. Tom didn't want to intrude, so he went to see what rarity was doing.

Tom walked up to the door of the Carousel Boutique, but before he could knock, the door flew open and he was greeted by what seemed to be a very annoyed Rarity. He was going to greet her but was again interrupted.

"Can you believe my luck?! When one of my friends actually decides to buy a dress... Have you heard the news?" Rarity forgot that the event just happened.

"No."

"Oh. A nuclear bomb fell on the barbecue at Fluttershy's cottage killing her and all of her guests. Well, she was going to buy the dress I just made her, but NO, that bitch had to go and die. She is so selfish! You would think that a nuclear bomb would kill you instantly, but I think that cunt suffered. Anyway, do you need anything dear?"

Tom was awoken from his daze by Sweetie Bell who had just walked in from the back room.

"I love marshmallows!" Shouted Tom gleefully. Tom then put Sweetie Bell into his mouth and crushed her skull between his teeth. The feeling of her small skull popping in his mouth turned Tom on. He threw Rarity onto the floor and raped her. After he was done he vomited the simidigested Sweetie Bell down Rarities throat and left to go see how Rainbow Dash was doing. Rarity was traumatized by the thought of how much she was going to have to clean up. She hates cleaning.

When he got back to Rainbow Dash she was still staring deep into Applejack's cold dead eyes, waiting for a response. One that she would never get. Rainbow and AppleJack were in love and they had been going out for quite some time now. Rainbow Dash had just moved in with AppleJack at Sweet Apple Acres, and she was the happiest she has ever been. They were deeply in love, so Rainbow Dash couldn't live knowing she had killed her lover. So she just sat there waiting and staring, waiting and staring, hoping her dear Applejack would get up

"lol." said Tom.

The End.