An HiE parody. He's in a world of magical, talking ponies who all love him. You'd think he'd be having a good time, wouldn't you? If only the trees would go a little easier on him.

Let's go down the cliche checklist... Becoming the seventh Element? Check. Becoming an alicorn? Check (kinda). Saving Equestria? Check (sort of). What do I win, Bob?

WARNING: If you are allergic to parody, please contact your doctor before reading.

Much thanks to Elric of Melnipony for editing and encouragement, and to Invisible Blade and bluefurbluestar for pre-reading the first chapter.

Contains no gore. Almost, but not quite, contains sex.