Day minty fresh in Equestria. You finally gave in to Fluttershy's attempts to woo you and you've been dating for a year. It's actually a pretty good life. Until one morning, you just woke up and finished brushing your teeth. You pour some mouthwash in your mouth, and spit in disgust.

"FLUTTERSHY!" you roar.

Frightened by your yelling, she slowly creeps up to the bathroom door.

"Y-yes, honey?"

You whip the bottle at her.

She lets out a shriek as it hits her in the head.

"Great Value mouthwash!? You know I like Listerine!"

"B-but Listerine burns too much for me-"

"You made me do this!" you say, reaching into the first aid kit and pulling out your spare tire iron. Fluttershy tries to run, but you catch her easily. You bash her in the back of the head over and over and over. She begs for you to stop, at first, but that didn't last long. Soon, there's not much of a head left.

You stuff her corpse into a garbage bag. Luckily, ponies are pretty small, so you didn't have to dismember her. You drag the bag to Froggy Bottom Bog. Throwing a few heavy rocks into the bag, you kick her into the water. Nobody really notices she's missing. You take a nice long swig of Listerine. The burn says it's working.

Today was a good day.

Author's Note

Not drunk or high, but very, very tired.