Neither Here Nor Mare

The Taste Of Carrots

(or Tray Manifique)

The canteen area was almost deserted as I halted on the threshold, a light nudge on my flank startling me as the doors swung shut. The talk with Antonia had taken up more time than I'd thought and  groups occupying tables seemed to be mostly human. I could see a purple mane at one and that was definitely a white one at the back, a grey colt resurfaced from his food as I watched, clumps of oats clung to his face getting a few laughs from the others sat with him. Flicking my ears in dismissal I headed for the stack of trays at the end of the counter near the doors.

"Everything's going to be a challenge today huh?" I said to no one in particular, the trays were the type that stacked inside each other and I wasnt exactly sure how I was going to pick it up. "Maybe if I.."

I tried poking the edge of the top one with a hoof, trying to get it under the thin lip. "Hmm, how about.." this time i turned my hoof over, the tray lifted slightly but dropped back into place.

"Oh a smart ass huh?" I stared at it for a moment, stomach growling encouragement as I formulated a new plan. Poking my tongue out I tried the same trick, but with a twist. Holding it on my tongue this time and trying to slip a hoof under the raised edge. My tail swished away happily on its own. I almost had it, just a little further..

"Kerghm!"

Someone cleared their throat, right in my ear. So intense was my concentration that I hadn't noticed the 30 or so pairs of eyes fixed on me. On the table I could still see from here people had stopped mid chew, one eating cereal's milk filled spoon suspended above their bowl. The look that caught my attention most though was the one of a certain horned blue pony who'd ditched me earlier, somewhere between amused and embarrassed on my behalf as he made his way over.

I pulled my tongue back in and shrunk back down to the floor, feeling as rediculous as I had probably looked as the throat clearer, a mint coloured mare with a matching, flowing mane and tail delicately pulled her lips back, taking one of the trays and snorting with contempt as she passed me. Everyone else had gone back to their meals now the spectacle of the fail pegasus was over.

My hind hooves seemed to have become really interesting, but actually I was just really willing myself to implode.

"You are such a foal" Leroy towered over my slumped position, but he seemed far less grumpy than he was earlier, maybe even cheerful.

"You ditched me" I frowned at him, but he ignored my comment, nudging me to get up, careful to avoid any bandaged areas.

"Take it with your teeth -" he pulled back his lips just like the mare before him and gripped the edge of a tray with his teeth "-rike Dish"

I took the other side of it hesitantly, I really didnt like the idea of mouthing everything and biting down where everypony else already had, but I was hungry and the queue was quite short now, or should I say queues. Two peach coloured ponies in one, a human guy in scrubs and a woman in the business suit in the other. Leroy did his best to explain that the equines were in the veggie queue for some reason, but I lost interest, I hadn't eaten a solid meal for weeks and I'd be damned if I was going to start with rabbit food.

Concentrating on not stumbling more than I could help (it started the moment I got self concious), I headed straight for the human queue, took a deap breath infront of the splash guard...and instantly regretted it.

The meat stank. I mean really stank, like rotting corpses or that one time I'd lost a slice of pizza under the couch for a week.. "ooh more useless memories"I was actually too focused on not throwing up to care. "Ugh, what the heck are they serving?!"My tray clattered to the floor as my coat took on a slight green hue as I heaved. I shuffled back into Leory again.

"AS I was trying to tell you; We can't stomach meat any more, can't digest it, so no more bacon or beef burgers. But if it is any consolation, carrots and apples are amazing." He was drooling just thinking about them.

After retrieving my tray (and stomach) we grabbed my food with no further problems. My personal escort decided to pick my food for me, piling it high with some tomatoes, a whole stack of carrots, an apple and a pancake type thing with a strangely green tint to it, alfalfa apparently. It irked me to have someone treat me like a kid, even more so since Leroy was obviously younger than me, and more still because everyone seemed to be doing it, but I was begining to enjoy his company. It was like having a brother.

"Try the carrots" He suggested excitedly as we sat back at his table in the far corner, there had been just enough room left for me and though he hadn't introduced me to any of the party formally, our three table mates were friendly enough.

"Its just a carrot.." I said, giving him an incredulous look as I sniffed it. It smelled like... a carrot, what else was it going to smell like?

Picking it up with my teeth I snapped a couple times, using my tongue to get it further in. All four seemed on tenterhooks as I did so, like it was the event of the century. I bit down slowly and was greeted by an explosion of flavour, a tiny bit sour on the outside but oh my god, it was amazing! It was like eating a raw pepper at first, slightly firey, sending a prickly wave across my gums, making my mouth water before mellowing out to a sweet aftertaste wherever a chunk sat on my tongue. If you'd told me before I woke up that I'd have a joygasm over a carrot I'd have called you nuts. Actually no, I'd probably have snored, but you get what I mean.

I dug in without talking, not caring that I had to resort to craming my face into the pile of food like a dog. The apple was the same, not firey this time but amazingly sweet, not being used to my new jaw I accidentally bit into a seed, they were kind of almond-y but with a sour peanut aftertaste that some how made the apple just taste sweeter. The tomatoes tasted like a mouthfull of a breezy summer day and the alfalfa pancake was..interesting. Not as amazing as the other foods, but still tasty.

I found out later that the first proper meal for new patients had been a big thing until the number of admissions had petered out, mostly because of how funny and varied the reactions were. Turns out pony folk have a very different set of tastebuds to humans, just another thing to get used to I guess.

After stuffing my face with a second helping, much to the amusement of Leroy and his workmates , we  headed out into the main common area again to pass the time until my physical. I hadn't really paid atention earlier, but the wide room was quite spacious, set up with tables at one end where the younger patients were having group activities, a TV 3 or 4 small groupings of comfortable sofas or chairs around low coffee tables a vending machine and a Table  to one side of the main doors that served as a reception desk. Antonia was nowhere to be seen, most likely on her rounds.

Sitting down was a new experience. It took a few minutes to find a comfortable position, sat on a chair with my rear legs splayed slightly wasn't an option as I was still fully aware that most every pony here was naked and the human within wouldn't let it go. I opted for a slumped position with my arms -"No, forehooves. May as well get used to it."- tucked under me. Now that we were both in a better mood I wanted to ask some more questions.

"Leroy, how long have you been a pony?" I asked.

"Since day one, I woke up like it, same as nearly everyone else. What about you?"

"Okay, this is much better than this morning" I mused, brightening up a little more."Not a clue, amnesia, remember"

He pulled his mouth to one side, a little quirk I'd noticed him do when thinking

"Oh right..well, what do you remember?"

"Not enough" I shook my head "I don't even know how I got here, was hoping the Doc could help with that." Dammit, stupid body. My ears had drooped of their own accord. I really hate how expressive pony bodies are.

Leroy leaned against me as if to give a hug, then pulled back with that same mouth twitch. "Discomfort" I refiled the quirk mentally.

"I can't give you a name, but I know where they came from, there's a club a few blocks from here, Dubs, I think. He was wearing their staff ID" A wave of relief washed over me, "Finally, a starting point" I was hugging him tight round the neck before I'd even thought about it, body on autopilot. Then I felt really creepy, I was a guy dammit, and that wasn't a bro hug, not even close.

"So, what's the deal with the names?" I asked awkwardly, wanting to change the subject and forget it had happened.

"...names?.." He replied, a little spaced out.

"Yes, Mr Lovelock, the names." I smirked when he snapped to and cringed at my use of the nickname.

"Beats me, something everypony started to do, something to do with the butt stamps. You'd be better off asking Doc Weiss, but from what I was told they have some kind of importance.  Least thats what I've heard." He finished with a shrug, indicating there wasn't much else to say on the matter.

An awkward silence hung over us, my right wing twitching painfully as I resettled them. Leroy fidgeted too, rocking a little from side to side before speaking "So, my shift was over thirty minutes ago and I have stuff to do, see ya." Then he just left me stood there as I watched him saunter out of the main doors.

"I think he likes you" My ears flicked at the hushed voice behind me as the doors closed and I looked round to come face to face with a brown stallion who I recognised from the canteen.

"Miss Summer? Name's Herb, Dr. Weiss is busy so I'll be running you through your medical." A lanyard round his neck told  me his full name was 'H. Remedy: General Practitioner' and I tried not to cringe when my mind filled in his first name..Herbal Remedy... "Weird names I can deal with, but puns, seriously?"