Alcohol, Alicorns, and Airships

Twilight Sparkle woke up from her nap knowing one thing for certain: The next two days were going to suck.

No. That word didn't feel right coming out of her mouth or even being thought. It didn't fit her verbose vocabulary and linguistic patterns. She thought of the right solution.

Twilight Sparkle woke up from her nap knowing one thing for certain: In the ever erudite words of wisdom of Rainbow Dash, the next two days were going to be bucking shitty.

It was nice for her to have friends who could say what she could not. It made up for some - and only some - of the stupidity that they caused, as much as she loved them with all of her heart.

At least the Elements had their own train. To think of how they would all act at the current moment in front of dozens of ponies scared her. When she thought about it more though, it couldn't have made things that much worse.

Being hungover on a long distance train from Canterlot to the Crystal Empire with her friends and knowing the lives that they once enjoyed were soon going to be gone was not what she would call a good day. She didn't have a contingency plan for it either. The OCD part of her brain cursed at her in both Neightin and Equish for not having one. She swore back in a manner that would've made Celestia puke, Applejack whistle admirably, Rarity and Fluttershy faint, and Rainbow Dash orgasm all at the same time. She didn't even bother guessing what Pinkie Pie would say or do.

The bleeding edge studies she had read were right: Swearing in the right manner and time really did make her feel less stressed. She didn't even want to eat a whole box of Oreos anymore. Just half.

She had no book to read during the day long train ride, and she didn't want to pester her friends in case they didn't want to have a conversation. She couldn't sleep much through the trip either, since she had pulled a record amount of it yesterday. Stress, binge eating, marijuana and alcohol tended to make one sleepy. Now, she was both tired and awake at the same time, a feeling she usually enjoyed. It allowed her to gaze into the unknown parts of her mind, and as much of an intellectual as she was, exploring the hidden senses of consciousness through sleep deprivation, a pinch of cannabis and magical sedation was something that was wonderful when properly done from time to time.

The last two days had not been properly done, and it was going to bite her chubby plot for even saying yes to the whole ordeal, despite how fun it had been. It wasn't even the playful lover kind of bite either: It was the scarring of her hindquarters kind of bite. She didn't want it to be ruined. She had a cute butt, even though she denied it.

Maybe, just maybe, it would help her out of her predicament. Cadance did seem mildly attracted to Twilight's rump.

Twilight doubted it would save her and her friends from their inevitable doom.

"This, sucks," she said aloud. Just this once, she'd let the words escape her lips. It wasn't like she hadn't sworn twenty times in the last two days.

"It sucks more than a Saddle Arabian oil derrick, but we'll pull through."

Of any of the voices of her friends that she'd want to hear, Applejack was the one. Sure, Applejack had shown her own batch of country cursing two days ago, but the orange mare had kept her cool. Mostly. Twilight hadn't set a shining example of it either.

Twilight turned her muzzle around from her idle gazing of the growing Crystal Empire thundra to smile softly at Applejack. "Tired of sleeping? I can't stop thinking about the letter either, but the sleep really helped."

Applejack nodded, her emerald eyes scanning over the mid afternoon horizon. She moved forward to lean up against the window besides Twilight. "I've slept more in the last day than I can remember," she said. "Not that I haven't needed it. Ya just don't take what Princess Celestia said to us and just shrug it off." She smiled. "I need ta be sober for tomorrow. As much as a part of me wished I wasn't."

"Tell me about it," Twilight snorted, pressing a forehoof on her window. "And you know I don't like being drunk. We all needed those naps and sedatives last night." She bit her bottom lip nervously. "As... much as I don't support sleeping aids."

Applejack giggled out a cackle that would've made Granny Smith proud. Twilight found it adorable. "Shoot, Twi', I don't either. But I'll tell ya right here and now: If Fluttershy hadn't found those pills none of us would've slept last night."

She pondered her statement, shaking her head. "I hope ta never say again that druggin' me up was somethin' that I needed."

It was Twilight's turn to laugh. She leaned gently into Applejack for support, enjoying the warmth and firmness of her friend's frame. "And you know what's the worst part?" Twilight said, "I have a feeling that we are going to need it again. Maybe even in a couple of days."

Applejack closed her eyes and smiled, her blond mane bouncing with the movements of the locomotive. "Rarity and Rainbow were the only ones who didn't take any, and I just can't put it under my hoof why they didn't," she winked. "Well, I can tell ya that I'm feelin' the aftertaste of those pills. And that's comin' from me."

Twilight smirked. "Because after they read the letter they decided to see how many rounds they could go again and not kill each other?" She pressed a forehoof gently onto Applejack's shoulder. "That'd knock me out too. And I'm sure they had an aftertaste afterwards."

"Aww that's just nasty comin' out of yer mouth, Twilight. Buckin' nasty." Twilight laughed as Applejack gagged loudly, falling over onto her side as Applejack looked down at her in fake disgust. "What have we done to ya, Twi'?"

"Thank you," Twilight giggled, "I'll be here all day, and I've always been a fan of dry and properly applied dirty humor."

Her tail flicked contently on the train bench as she let out a stress relieving sigh. "And maybe I'm still hungover. No, I still am, so I guess my filter is a bit looser than it should be. Not to mention I need to do anything I can not to have a panic attack. The last thing we need is me having a parasprite level breakdown."

Applejack nodded gently, resting a forehoof on Twilight's coat. Her hoof moved slowly through Twilight's violet fur, petting her softly. "Oh don't you worry about that," Applejack chuckled. "One of us is gonna have one soon enough. If the last two days have taught me anything, it's that SNABU is standard procedure for us. Besides, I hang around Rainbow all the time; you think a bit of swearin's gonna hurt my pretty ears?" She ruffled Twilight's mane affectionately. "Sounds cute comin' from you."

What came out of Twilight's muzzle could only be called a gigglesnort. She clopped her forehooves together happily. "Glad you like me talking dirty, Applejack. I'll do it more, just for you."

Applejack's bellowing laughter threw off her balance. She fell onto Twilight's bench holding her stomach, Twilight rolling her eyes at her friend's hysterics. "And that pretty much sums up what we get ourselves into," Twilight said, "and yes, I know what it stands for. I grew up around the Royal Guards, remember?" She prodded Applejack with a hind leg, unable to hide the smile across her muzzle at her friend's content coo of delight.

"It's why I said it," Applejack winked, sighing in sedation. "Oh Gaia I needed that so much, Twilight. Thanks, girl. I'll be a good date to ya next time if we survive through all of this."

"We talked about this already, Applejack." Twilight yanked on Applejack's tail with a faint thrum of magic, enjoying how she could abuse her friend's tail-wrap freed hair.

She smiled sweetly. "If Celestia doesn't chemically castrate us, I'd really enjoy going on a thirty percent sane date with you."

"How about ya don't go that far down in the trenches and we'll settle on explainin' things to her and bein' reasonable adults?" Applejack rested her tail over Twilight's cutie mark, letting the wild wheat cover her flank. "I think this sleepin' 'n laughin' has made me optimistic again. Hay, we've tamed Discord, and it's not like he knows about any of this. What's the worst that can happen?"

Twilight's expression changed instantly.

The first two statements Applejack said were absolutely correct. She felt significantly better at having slept more than she could remember. And if the Elements could reform Discord, explaining to Celestia and Cadance that they were exploring free love shouldn't be too hard of a task in comparison. Yes, they were all quite dysfunctional and different, but they had pulled through Tartarus and back together. They could always use Rainbow's ex relationships with Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie as a shining example of how their friendships weren't in jeopardy if they gave intimacy a shot and it didn't work.

She was truly glad she had Applejack as a friend. Applejack's reasoning could add to Twilight's own logic and give her a different perspective. She was eternally grateful. The addition of Applejack being mostly rational - except when Rainbow was around her - and bluntly honest like Twilight herself was only making Twilight more eager to try something a bit more intimate with time.

But then Applejack just had to even bring up the simple possibility of Discord knowing about what they had done two nights ago.

It took Applejack a few seconds to register what she had said.

"He doesn't know, Twi'," Applejack nervously chuckled. She leaned forward to gently pet Twilight's muzzle. "Just-"

"I could go on explaining how much pressure a ponies body can take, but I won't. Applejack, we're going to end this conversation and go check up on the girls, before I'm tempted to show you what a thousand times normal gravity can do to you."

Twilight said the threat in such a casual manner that Applejack wasn't even that scared; it was simply Twilight venting the heart stopping stress of Discord laughing at the misadventures the six mares had recently done, and the delight of watching them explain themselves to Celestia and Cadance. It didn't matter that he was now moderately friendly and not bent on warping Equestria. In the end, a bit of chaos was still in his name.

And the chaos and cheap shots he could make would satisfy him for days.

Twilight looked up at Applejack as if she had been complemented. The closed eyed, gentle smile of peace over her muzzle was followed by a faint giggle. "Come on," she said gently, standing up, "let's see what they are up too."

Applejack smiled back, heaving herself up onto her hooves. She too had begun to forget the incident quickly. It was for the best. "Most likely not sleepin' since it's already midafternoon. I fancy our laughs didn't hurt on keepin' them asleep either."

"I think all of us have loud laughs," Twilight chuckled, flicking her tail across Applejack's nose as she trotted toward toward the sleeper car. "And we all need to talk about that letter anyways. We've all been too passed out to discuss it. No time like the present!" she chirped.

Twilight made one final glance at Applejack, her violet eye promising a quick death at the simple thought of the recently mentioned deity.

"We need to plan on what we're gonna say anyways," Applejack nodded, cantering herself in place behind Twilight. "I think she was just panicked writin' it. She'll be cooler once we're in front of her."

Applejack swore she was thinking about some creature just a minute ago. She came up blank.

If it was important or deadly, she'd remember it later.

Shining Armor was having a pretty decent day. When Cadance's or his own magic wasn't being suckled on by some deity Tartarus bent on taking over the world, it was usually a pretty decent day. He wasn't a huge fan of his wife being used as a political pawn for ancient evil.

However, he could see why that was the case often. She was incredibly attractive and kinky, not to mention ascended royalty and blessed to be the avatar of love and compassion. Villains were usually attracted to the former two traits, even if they denied it. He'd be lying to three parts of himself if he wasn't attracted to them either.

Except when she got out the whips. He wasn’t really a fan of whips. He had enough memories of his drill sergeants over ten years ago. Then again, there were colts who had it a lot worse than him.

He was the youngest Lieutenant Colonel in Equestrian history, thanks to Princess Luna pulling - or more accurately screaming at - some strings once he became a prince. He had married into royalty, was Captain of the Royal Guard in Canterlot, and helped rule a province with several hundred thousand ponies. He had his own palace, a wife of super model level beauty, and if he had to admit it, he’d consider himself extremely attractive as well. If all of this involved physical torture from the wife every now and then, he was doing alright with his life.

Shining Armor stood on the highest balcony of the Crystal Citadel, his eyes extending over the capital and the budding changes that were taking place. There was infrastructure to rebuild, an economy that needed to be restarted, and a battalion that he needed to train from nearly the ground up. He was just shy of thirty, and he had responsibilities that ponies fifteen years his senior didn’t have. It didn't matter though. Because in the end he enjoyed it all, and what he could do to make the life of the ponies around him better, he would.

As the morning sun moved across the sky and the afternoon turned into the early evening, Shining Armor was about to call his work for the day mostly complete. Perhaps a quick glance at the training report of the Adamant Guard, and he'd call the rest of the night his own to do as he wished. He didn't think about what he'd do. He thought enough most of the time. If he wanted to sit in his chambers, crack open a beer and watch television, who was going to stop him? He had earned his keep in life. That included his rest.

"Shining, I need to talk to you! I... I need your help!"

His wife could stop him. He couldn't let his wifey suffer. Helping the wife was a good way to have an active sex life. Honor had its perks.

He turned himself around to look into the stressed eyes of Cadance, pleading at him for his attention. "What is it?" he said cautiously. "Is it something that the guards should get involved in?"

She shook her head. "N-no, nothing like that. We need to talk in private, but we're not in danger. I... think."

He took a step forward, raising an eyebrow. "You think? Hun, we've both had enough of it in the last year; don't be cryptic about it. You know we can handle it together."

Cadance sighed loudly, her horn flaring to life. It took only a second for her blue magic to encircle them, pulling them from the balcony with a crackle of energy and teleporting them to their bedchambers.

Shining Armor glanced around at the lush and large suite around him, returning to look at Cadance with a dry chuckle. "You could've just asked, and I think I'm the one in danger around you when you get like this. Can I get-"

"It's not that!" she shouted, pacing around the room. His ears wilted at the sudden volume of her voice, causing him to wince at the faint ringing in his ears. "But it's... related to that."

"You're pregnant!" He galloped forward to place his forehooves on her shoulders. "Just because it's a few years earlier that we wanted doesn't mean you need to take extreme measures, Cadance. Although I... thought our magic was kind of... working to stop that from happening."

"I'm not having a foal or getting rid of one!" She growled quietly at Shining Armor, trotting over to the bedroom mirror.

She stared at her reflection, glancing at the confused look of her husband mouthing to himself incoherently. "I... Remember how I got out of bed two nights ago and you didn't see me until afternoon?"

He nodded slowly. "You sleep well most of the time, and I thought that there was business you needed to attend too, or that something was on your mind." He chuckled. "We don't have to share every thought and concern with each other, and if you needed my advice, you'd come to me."

Cadance turned around to eye Shining quizzically, her expression quickly turning into a scowl. "I have to wonder what Luna knows about your dreams, Shining."

"Whoa, whoa," he said, throwing his forehooves above his head, "when did this become about me? And you know we've talked about this. You can't use your magic of love and then say I can't think back on the officer cadet days. I got five mares worth of love to give, and they all happen to be for you."

"And ten colts," she chuckled quietly.

Shining Armor blushed furiously, averting his gaze. "What do you think happens when three hundred eighteen year old colts are put together and there's maybe ten mares? I don't think either of us can say we didn't gallop through the tail trails in our youth. Both of them."

She smiled for the first time that day, watching his ruby splashed muzzle smile back.

"There," Shining chuckled, "now you've humiliated me, teleported me, and won't tell me what's going on. Aren't I a good stallion?"

"You passed your sarcasm to Twilight," Cadance said, shaking her muzzle, "and... she's what's concerning me."

His expression changed instantly. Shining Armor galloped forward to press his forehooves firmly onto Cadance's shoulders. "What's wrong with Twilight!? Was she-"

"The Elements of Harmony had sex two nights ago. That's what woke me in the middle of the night. I could feel their love from here!"

Shining Armor looked down at his wife, his snout going through a tsunami of emotions. He backed away slowly, sitting down on his rump. He settled on being perplexed. "So... that's what you've been worried about?"

"What do you mean that?" Cadance spat. "Don't you realize what this means!?"

"I sure do!" He laughed happily, clopping his forehooves onto the floor. "Twily finally had her mare bell rung with the help of her marefriends. Go Twily!"

Cadance's mouth opened wide. "You're... okay with that!?"

Shining Armor laughed once more. "Of course I am! She's twenty now, Cadance; she's not little anymore. And her best friends helped her? How could I not support that? And for you to feel it?" He shook his snout, snorting in amusement. "She's taken that playbook from both of us. Hundred bits none of them could walk the day after."

"I..." Cadance sat down on her own flank, groaning out in frustration. "I would say all stallions think alike-"

"-but you know that mares do too," he cackled, falling over onto his back. "Hun, I can't believe you think that I'd be against Twilight having fun! You really need to relax. I might be protective of her, but it's time for her to enjoy what we did back then."

Shining Armor wrapped an arm around her shoulder, pulling Cadance toward his side. "It'll make them closer friends, and it'll help her explore herself. She's grown a lot since going to Ponyville. Just let it go. She's on her own now."

Cadance's wings wilted by the side of her frame. "There's more," she said, looking up at Shining.

He sighed loudly, giving her frame a gentle squeeze. "I'm not going to panic this time. Hun, can you just tell me in the future to brace myself for news like this? Or at least not teleport me first?"

"She..." Cadance bit her bottom lip. "She wasn't satisfied by it. You know I can only feel vague feelings, and while most of them were..."

"Milked?"

"Milked," Cadance blushed, "it... it didn't feel like she was. At least like her friends. It was so overpowering for the rest of them, but for her, it didn't feel... right."

Shining Armor waved a hoof dismissively. "She was nervous about it. She's that kind of gal. Give it a week. You know as well as I do that the first time isn't what it's always cracked up to be either."

Cadance exhaled gently. "You're probably right." She wrapped a wing around Shining's frame, kissing him on the lips. "I was just so paranoid about her that I guess I acted like a foal-sitter again, didn't I?"

"You did," he said. "You have every right to be concerned about her emotionally, Cadance."

Shining stroked through Cadance's mane affectionately. "The Elements of Harmony are ponies too. Just like we are. If there's anypony out there who I'd want Twilight to explore herself with, it's them." He prodded her playfully on the nose. "That'd also explain the stain between the sheets two nights ago."

"It's not my fault that love and lovemaking go together!" she huffed, shoving Shining. His massive frame didn't budge an inch from her push. He fell over regardless, laughing at the blush spreading across Cadance's muzzle. "I sent a letter to Luna to not tell Celestia until we talked to them about it, and requested for them to come here. I don't think Celestia would laugh it off like you are."

Shining's horn flared to life, his magic encircling the two of them. With a pop of energy, his magic warped them toward their bed. He simply smiled at Cadance's confusion. "Revenge teleport."

Cadance shoved Shining once again, only for him to gently wrap his forehooves around her back, pulling her on top of him. "Good thinking though," he continued. "Princess Luna would've known by now anyways, and the last thing we need is Celestia concerned about Twilight and her hay life. If we're bad..."

She shook her head, laying down contently on top of Shining Armor. "She'd react like the time her lava cake was burnt on Twilight's thirteenth birthday."

He winced at the memory. It was almost as bad as boot camp. "That... would be bad."

"Very bad. But you're right: Luna and I have it taken care of." She smiled down at him, giving his nose a playful nip. "Thank you, Shining. I wrote that letter as quickly as I could, and Luna calmed me down. I woke up paranoid about telling you. I thought you might be like Celestia with Twilight."

"You kidding, Caddy?" Shining squeezed her back. "You have this under control, and my sister had the time of her life."

"And I owe you the time of your life for helping me." Cadance grinned, shuffling herself on top of Shining Armor.

Honor had its perks, and how could he say no?

He couldn't really. She'd get out the whip if he did. He would rather be in control while he still could be.

Shining Armor folded his forehooves behind his muzzle, smiling widely at Cadance. "Besides, Luna's legendary at keeping secrets. What's the worst that could happen?"

Celestia and Luna were having a wonderful late afternoon together.

With the sun beginning its slow crawl over the horizon, Luna and Celestia were catching up on both political and non-political news. Resting contentedly in Luna's quietly lit chambers and her large bed, they enjoyed their managerial discussions of the tens of millions of ponies and other creatures in Equestria that they were appointed to rule over.

Or the empire they carved out with blood, spear, fireball, crossbow and trebuchet two thousand years ago. Those were the days. Luna was saddened ponies didn't like talking about that epoch in Equestrian history. They were fun!

Minus the dying loved ones part. She wasn't a fan of that.

Making her foes die for their ruler made up for it though. And die they did. For those who sought battle in the night with her armies faced only their own screams of death. The 2nd Legion Night Stalkers were only a shadow of what they once were.

Still, peace had its perks. Most of them were good.

It was a common misconception and modern myth that Luna couldn't bear the sunlight, or that it would be lethal to her. It was a silly myth. It was just relatively convenient for the 'mistress of the night' - a silly but apt title - to be burning the midnight oil. She only needed a few hours of sleep - or meditative rest if she was required to do so at night - a day to function, and choose the peak hours of sunlight to sleep. It was kind of her job to be awake at night.

In addition to managing and advising Equestria's spy networks, research and development, special forces, infrastructure, education, trade, labor unions, culture, and head of the Equestrian Senate. Protecting her subjects from inter-dimensional demons during their sleep was another important duty. She had a lot of free time.

She did really. It was the reason she enjoyed modern bureaucracies. They were better than the old feudal government at doing things for her.

It saddened her she couldn’t publicly execute corrupt nobles and bureaucrats anymore though. Not ‘ethical’ anymore, according to Celestia. Those were the days.

Celestia didn’t say anything about threatening them with private torture though, but it was not quite as fun. Surelythe Princesses didn't torture ponies who were not pure hearted. Right?

The unanswerable was a wonderful tool for fear. She was a grand master without peer in the art. Time did naught rust that blade.

"I still can not believe the voracious appetite industry has," Luna said. There were dozens of documents, graphs, spreadsheets and charts spread over her bed. She was still getting used to how much ponies liked their damn paperwork.

"But you must admit, Luna, that it's better than managing the wheat trade back in the Old Empire," Celestia said. "The advantages airships and modern trade ships have over those old galleys!"

"Ahh, the days when food was not promised to be good, or on time, or even there at all." Luna smiled up at Celestia, patting her side. "You might help grow the crops but you can't help them afterwards, now can you? Tell me: Is Gaia less antsy in heat or is the doe still causing mud slides and ruining crops because she was left dry by Titan?"

Celestia gasped, her eyes turning sharply toward Luna's own. "Luna! I thought you've left those grudges behind you?"

Luna snorted in amusement. "I have. But it's her fault the 17th Legion was wiped out in the Tchernobog Forests during the Iron Wars. That deer can choke on Sleipnir's hammer for all I care."

Celestia raised an eyebrow, the scowl on her snout growing. "And Neptune didn't seduce you as the 3rd Fleet was destroyed in the Mareasa Sea during the war with Anubis?"

"Have you smelled him? He smells like the most beautiful beach in Ungulia! I was young and restless." Luna huffed loudly, blowing out a plume of air from the end of her muzzle. She gave Celestia's flank a slap with her tail. "I promise you: His claims of 'flooding my ocean' were wrong. He rarely performed without him always getting his way after the first year."

Luna's cobalt eyes stared down Celestia's. "As if you and Epona didn't spend several decades 'fertilizing' your fields. Hah! You two could barely fly by the time you were done with each other. I had to manage the fiefdom when you were passed out and high off of mushrooms."

Celestia's white cheeks turned a blaring red at the memories, looking away from Luna as she broke out into belly shaking hysterics. "S-She was very talented with her hooves. It wasn't my fault either!"

"Not your fault at all," Luna tittered, leaning into Celestia's side. "Oh goodness our youths! Thank Destiny and Time that our mortal loved ones don't think of those myths as true."

With a nervous chuckle, Celestia gave Luna a soft hug. "Y-yes, because otherwise what we did with Sleipnir would ruin us both."

The Princesses blushed a blaring pink in unison, finding the rest of the room suddenly extremely fascinating. The less that was said about their teenage years and brother, the better. Two hundred years of being in their teens involved a lot of regrets. And fun times.

Their parents hated all two dozen of their offspring equally.

Luna glanced over at Celestia, scoffing at the bed idly. "H-h-how's brother?" she whispered.

"Fine," Celestia whispered back. "Epona and him have been together for six hundred years. Three children too. Very happy."

"I see." Luna glanced over at her sister once more. "Is he still-"

"Hammer is as big as ever," Celestia smiled faintly. "N-n-not that I've done anything with him! How silly! You know stallions. Catch them at the worst times."

With a swirling pomf of crackling magic, a dark blue scroll popped into existence in front of Luna, landing gracefully in front of her forehooves.

She smiled politely up at Celestia, the three thousand year old sisters nodding their heads silently to one another. "A good note to change the subject, and a high security scroll too," Luna said. She opened the scroll, her eyes scanning down the words.

"Anything I need to know about?" Celestia asked. "Espionage is dirty-"

"Are you calling me dirty, sister?" Luna snapped, her eyes staring a sub-atomic death on the scroll as if it was Celestia. "I'm sorry I'm kinkier than-"

"Why is that letter signed in my name and yet addressed to you?"

Luna's eyes slowly rolled down the page once again. "I-it was an agent saying they were honored to serve us. He was killed by-"

"Than why are you stuttering?"

Luna turned her muzzle to look into the pink vortex of her sister's eyes. They shimmered with interest, and yet a calm anger at being lied to without due cause dotted them as well.

There were plenty of reasons why people did not engage in subterfuge with Luna. She was the greatest spymaster, word whisperer, secret keeper and puppet master the world had ever seen. She had spun wars to her favor, manipulated trade, stopped conflicts, gained countless treasures, and saved thousands of lives when war was common place. During her prime, the Shadowmares' knew all.

And yet, Luna's poker face for the first time in a long time, cracked.

She tried her best to recover. "It saddens me ponies used to-"

"Give me the letter, Luna." Celestia gave no ground.

She did as she was requested, and prepared for the worst. It was times like this she was glad to be back from the moon. She was going to be needed very shortly.

Celestia held the letter in the faintest thrum barely visible magic, her eyes taking their time to read every letter, to digest every bit of information being presented to her.

Luna inhaled and exhaled mentally, forcing herself into a mental trance that she knew all too well that she would need to be in if the world wasn't going to boil over. Her sister always overreacted at what she considered to be dreadful news that struck an emotional chord with her.

And Luna was right. Celestia put the letter down gently on the bed, her eyes swirling from a calm pink to a bubbling orange of the sun seen from only a million miles away. "We are going to see Cadance. Now."

"You're overreacting," Luna said, patting Celestia's neck. "I-"

"I am not overreacting!"

The room cracked with the solar roar of Celestia's rarely used regal voice. It hissed thorough the air like boiling steam and crackling napalm having intercourse over a lava flow.

Luna wanted to reply. Or at least inform the guards bursting through the door that she had everything under control. She did. Relatively speaking.

Instead, both of the regents of Equestria vanished from Luna's bed in a hellfire of furious heat, completely ruining the Nickernese silk on Luna's bed.

She would miss it. Once she kept the Crystal Citadel from not getting hit by a ion cannon from the sky.