Alcohol, Alicorns, and Airships

Applejack was not surprised to see the other four Elements of Harmony awake. There was only so much sleeping a pony could do, even if they wanted to sleep more.

Still, they were in no shape to save the world after their rest, and she was nearly certain that they would fail if they were asked to heed that call. They were that out of hero juices. In addition to several other flavors of juices.

Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Rarity and Fluttershy were quietly talking amongst themselves, fatigue and stress pushed to the corners of their minds for as long as it could be shoved there. Considering their multiple failures at controlling themselves recently, it was very unlikely it would last.

Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy were content to be in their own sleeping bunks. Rarity and Rainbow on the other hoof had huddled into Rarity's bunk, which was directly below Rainbow's. It was very convenient for it to be big enough for two ponies who didn't mind sharing some personal space.

Rarity seemed to be enjoying her pegasus mattress. With her back pushed against the bunk she half sprawled on top of Rainbow, her forehooves hanging over Dash's side as if the she was a stack of pillows for Rarity to claim. She idly stroked a hoof through Rainbow's ponytail, and Dash was doing nothing to stop her. Rainbow didn't seem to mind the additional weight and warmth on top of her either, content to lay on her side and stick her hooves out lazily.

Applejack and Twilight walked forward toward their friends until Twilight stopped to look at Rainbow and Rarity. A soft smile spreading across her muzzle. "Despite being slightly hungover, stressed, concerned about our lives and perhaps sexually frustrated, I'm really proud of you two becoming friends with benefits."

"Twilight!" Applejack gave Twilight a gentle shove. "Let them decide what they want to call themselves. Now say yer sorry, girl, or we aren't gonna go out on a date when you aren't about ta have a stroke."

"It's alright, Applejack," Rarity said. "Twilight, you are stressed more than I can imagine, dear. You have every reason to be after what happened and what didn't happen at the club." Rarity smiled up at Twilight, giving her hoof a supportive squeeze. "If any of us should be having a panic attack, it's you. Not that... I'm not tempted to have one myself. I would, but I'm awfully comfy on top of Dash."

"Please don't have one," Rainbow Dash said, her snout turning to look at Rarity. "Because that'll mean I'll get hit in the face by a flailing hoof. And as much as I like your hoof on places, my eye isn't one of them."

Pinkie huffed dismissively. "But you all had to drop things in my eyes that night! They still itch. And my Pinkie Sense tells me it's only going to happen again." She sighed tiredly. "Running gags aren't always fun."

Applejack ruffled through Pinkie Pie's curled mane, heaving herself up onto her own bunk. "As much trouble as that club has caused us, I'd say we had fun gaggin' each other the mornin' after, Pinkie." She blushed once she laid down on her mattress. "I say it was worth it."

"Does that mean you and Twilight are going to go out on a date, Applejack?" Fluttershy's wings flickered with excitement. "You two would make the cutest couple!"

"Twi' an' I are gonna try a real date," Applejack nodded. "That means no grass, no alcohol-"

"When did I say no alcohol?" Twilight asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I stand corrected," Applejack bowed. "No non-Apple alcohol."

Twilight giggled. "I can live with that. We'll talk about the gags on the third date."

"Oh great, so now I have to hear about you guys and gags?" Dash dry heaved, burying her snout into her pillow. "I can't get the images out of my head! And my head has some messed up things in there."

Twilight laughed heartily as she teleported herself up onto her bunk, kicking her hind legs into the air. "Why do you girls keep on making me laugh when I'm trying to be serious?"

"Because a true true friend helps a friend in need," Fluttershy said. "Just like you made me not want to scream at them for waking us up in the middle of the morning, Twilight. You four were very... vocal."

Twilight nodded. "Fluttershy and I had to hear you four two nights ago, and we had to hear you all day being yourself and flirting with us, Dash. How does it feel to have images you don't want in your head in there?"

"Mmm," Pinkie moaned loudly, stroking down her chest as she looked up at Applejack. She slowly licked over her lips, growling in excitement. "Next time I should show Applejack my jawbreaker toys. With melted candy centers too. Bite hard enough screaming and-"

"Make it stop!" Rainbow cried, covering her ears at the laughter bursting around her. "I can't make the pictures go away! It's evenworse 'cause I know exactly what's she's talking about and we've used them before!"

"There, there, Dashie dear." Rarity cooed quietly into Rainbow's ear, stroking down her side firmly. "I give you permission to be gagged by Pinkie Pie and Applejack; as long as I get to watch, of course."

Rainbow's cheeks turned dangerously close to Pinkie's native color. Her eyes turned into dots as she pushed her snout into her own neck, half choking on her own breath. "W-w-what!?"

"I know where to massage her too," Fluttershy hummed, clopping her forehooves together. "I learned where you can make her melt in Flight School."

"Fluttershy!" Dash hide her muzzle underneath her pillow.

Twilight sighed contently, collapsing onto her bunk. "This is what happens to us when we drink: We get the urge to make Rainbow's life miserable and we shrug off our impending deaths from Celestia. I can see why Berry Punch and Cherrliee drink."

"I think you meant 'this is what happens to us when we don't have foals around us'," Applejack chuckled.

Twilight shrugged. Maybe turning twenty was the downfall of her innocence. She could have lost worse things. She was struggling to come up with anything that didn't involve death, dismemberment or psychological torture.

"And speaking of Rainbow Dash." Twilight tapped her hooves contently on her wooden bunk, her eyes looking down her mentally broken friend. "I'll hold her down with my magic and tease her until she starts sobbing for us to stop." She grinned deviously to her equally grinning peers.

Except for Rainbow Dash, who was pouting and pleading for mercy in a manner that at another time would have made Rarity slightly proud.

Currently, it was to no avail for Rainbow.

"I can't let you four have all the fun," Twilight giggled. "You need someone who can write all of this down for future studying."

Twilight sat up, blinking at her own words. "Wow. And I'm trying to pull the moral high ground. Guess I really can't now, can I?"

"Ehh," Pinkie shrugged. "I was innocent once too, but then I realized it's more fun having no filter around you girls! It's so fun saying what would get me arrested if I said it in front of children!" She leaped forward to pinch Rainbow's cheeks firmly, letting out incoherent sounds of delight. "Who's a good pet pony for us!?"

"Screw all of you," Rainbow snapped, hiding her snout behind her tail for extra protection. "Yeah. That." Her hiding wasn't working.

"You see here?" Rarity huffed, pointing at Rainbow, "she admits that she would like all of us at once. Up until about the ten minute mark. I'm not sure she can handle us as much as she thinks she can."

"That's it!" Rainbow shoved Rarity onto her back. She locked Rarity's hind legs in place with her toned thighs, dragging her forehooves rapidly down Rarity's legs. "Tickle time!"

Any coherent protest Rarity attempted to make was replaced by her high pitched squealing. She tried to roll away or cast a spell, but every time she did, Rainbow continued her onslaught, her left wing flicking over Rarity's horn to destroy her concentration.

The other four Elements looked at each other as Rainbow and Rarity laughed themselves raw, Rarity soon enough getting parting shots at Rainbow's wings in revenge. It only sent Dash giggling onto her back as her wings were tickled without mercy.

"I... I'm not sure I can handle this amount of cute," Applejack said. She looked at Pinkie Pie, a frown spreading across her muzzle. "If I ever get that cute, I want you to deck me in the jaw."

Pinkie winced in pain. "Can we not talk about my muzzle today?"

"Did I hurt you that badly kissing you, Pinkie Pie?" Fluttershy's ears and wings hung limp. "I'm sorry. Rainbow Dash told me in Flight School that when I get going I can be a really rough kisser."

"I... think she's implying what Applejack did to her instead that night," Twilight chuckled. "It was a bit extreme hitting her two nights ago, Applejack. Even if she was talking about your mother and we were all drunk."

Twilight's horn hummed to life, dragging a wave of magic through Applejack's unhinged blond mane. No longer tied down from their pre-party hair treatment at Lotus and Aloe's spa, it cascaded everywhere with one long thrum of Twilight's horn. "But I'm sure Pinkie got her revenge on you that night."

"I thought we said no more talking about my jaw?" Pinkie whimpered, returning to her bed to bury herself underneath her sheets. "There's only so much Apple I can take!"

Applejack polished her forehoof on the side of her bunk. "What can I say? She's good with pink pies, and I'm not sure that was revenge. If it was, revenge ain't half bad."

Twilight snorted in amusement. "Looks like you punished each other from what you told us the morning after then."

Silence filled the train car.

All five of Twilight's friends turned to look at her. Twilight blinked, shuffling in place at the attention directed at her.

"You should be ashamed of yourself, Twilight!" Fluttershy scowled, her wings flaring in anger. "How could you even think something like that would be funny?"

"Dreadful," Rarity spat, shaking her snout in disgust. "You deserve every bit of Fluttershy's scolding."

Twilight threw her forehooves above her muzzle. "That's the pun that crosses the line? Out of everything Rainbow's ever said?"

"Yeah, because I'm not that unoriginal," Rainbow smirked.

"Well I hope you two enjoyed your morning aftertaste for the last two days, Rainbow Dash." Twilight grinned, nodding toward Applejack.

Rainbow perked up her ears, letting Rarity go from her grasp. "Hay yes I did! I mean-"

Rarity shoved her forehoof into Rainbow's muzzle, her cheeks turning a glowing pink alongside her pearl colored fur. "I have excellent mouthwash from Germaney that-"

"Isn't it amazing that she really does taste of Skittles!?" Pinkie Pie burst from her covers to beam a glowing smile at Rarity, making her blush that much worse for wear. Rainbow and Twilight couldn't help but silently grin in dark amusement.

Rainbow pushed Rarity's forehoof out of her muzzle. "I would lick you clean later, Rares, but I'm out of it for several days. And what can I say?" Dash scoffed at her lean chest. "I come with a good flavor and am part of a complete balanced diet."

"And she comes with a work out video too," Applejack cackled, holding onto her stomach.

"Yours for only three easy payments of flank spanks, sloppy kisses and wing gropes!" Pinkie tittered. "Limited supplies! Call 1-800-DAT-DASH today!"

The Elements of Harmony broke out in united laughter, Pinkie Pie and Rainbow falling off of their bunks and onto the floor as they cried themselves raw.

"We're... we're supposed to be concerned about Celestia wanting to incinerate us, and my brother and Cadance disowning us." Twilight panted happily, holding onto her side. "Although now that I'm not as hungover as I was before, I might be over reacting. Again."

"Oh dear Twilight, I'm sure my reputation is completely ruined by the fight Rainbow and I had at Invictus." Rarity sighed peacefully, sinking into her mattress. "I don't think I've cursed that much in one day in my entire life. It'll get around soon enough."

Rainbow pressed a hind leg gently into Rarity's side. "I dunno. You did a lot of it in the morning after, and in the shower with me, and after we read the letter-"

"Hush, mare!" Rarity sputtered, slapping Rainbow across the face with a white sheet of glowing magic. It only made Rainbow's cries of hysteria that much louder.

"But you'll get a different clientele now, Rarity." Fluttershy leaned over her bunk, cooing in sedation. "You'll get all the sons and daughters of nobles who think you're cool now. They have money, and it'll mean you'll get to try new designs you never would be able to sell before." She winked. "Besides, I can always recommend my clients to you, and high ponies part with their bits very easily."

Applejack twirled a forehoof through her flowing blond mane. "I'm... I'm not sure if even you can be considered innocent anymore, Fluttershy."

"Damn her innocence!" Rarity neighed, "the mare's a bloody genius!"

Rarity stood up and leapt onto Twilight's bunk, inflating her chest heroically. "I get to make more sweater vests, windbreakers, sweatshirts and high end clothing for the youth. I get to truly break out of the mold and join a counter culture of rebellion against the norm, fighting against a noble monopoly on clothing!"

She stabbed a forehoof firmly into the air. "Nobles beware, for your children shall be the icons of fashion!"

"Hipsters," Pinkie Pie said venomously, growling like a dog spotting an intruder.

"But... hipsters are skin deep with their fashion. I... think." Rainbow scratched the base of her ponytail. "Not an expert on them; I'm a Power Metalhead."

"That only means I get to stay on top of the bleeding edge of fashion for the young and vigorous," Rarity said, gleaming in the early evening sun that reflected from the train windows. "It also means that they buy a lot of clothing, and as much as I love cornering the market with my wondrous prices, I enjoy making a profit as well. Allows me to give back to the community."

"So you mean ponies who think they can read one philosophy book and then think they know everything about the universe?" Twilight growled quietly, slapping her tail onto her bed with a loud crack. "I had to deal with enough of them at Canterlot, and if I had to go to Canterlot University I would have most likely been expelled for slapping too many of them."

Applejack looked around at her friends and the tension wafting through the air. She returned her gaze to Rainbow Dash, who was as perplexed as she was. "Are... are we arguin' about hipsters? I thought we were concerned with Cadance and Shining Armor findin' out about us and thinkin' we did worse than sleepin' with each other."

"Hipsters are just hippies who smell better, have more money, and like to buy my weed because they feel like rebelling," Fluttershy huffed, folding her wings across her chest. "They aren't as nice as my hippy friends, but they also know how to grow cannabis really well. They are nice ponies. Even when they won't protest like I do. They do write wonderful books."

"Nice?" Pinkie hissed, "they never tip me! Ever. They are so picky about what they want in their desserts and shakes, and I can't make half the stuff they want! They always want the 'weird' candies that I can't get. I'm not some Baysium chocolate shop. And you know the worst part? Their jokes."

Twilight winched in spiritual agony. "Don't get me started on how they ruin irony and dry humor, Pinkie. They're the death of history."

Rainbow Dash pulled herself up to land on Applejack's bunk, eyeing her bickering friends. "This... isn't gonna end well." She shook her head, dragging a hoof across her muzzle. "And this might be the stupidest non-me argument we've ever had."

"Death of history?" Rarity gasped, pressing her muzzle into Twilight's. "Are you mad, mare? The artwork! The clothing! The music!"

"Abstract drug induced paint splatters, mass produced sweat shop garbage, and Marxist anarchist ramblings from rich cry babies." Twilight pressed her muzzle firmly back into Rarity's own. "You know it's true."

"Coming from the pony who's the daughter of the upper-middle class herself," Fluttershy spat. Her wings flapped hard as she joined Rarity, pressing her muzzle into Twilight's. "You just don't want to fight the system like Rarity and me; you are the system, Twilight Slavele. Fall in line, don't scare the Princess, and obey. You want to know what Rarity and I think?"

She inhaled deeply from her nose, blowing out a plume of air into Twilight's snout. "Buck the system!"

"Okay, Flutters' is swearing, so I'm outta here before we all die," Rainbow whistled. She nosed Applejack firmly in the rump. "We should get out of here before this lightning storm hits. Lets go to the caboose, and no pun intended."

"Exactly, Fluttershy." Rarity said. "She's just jealous I'm extending my cultural knowledge to a group she can't understand. I think that marijuana has opened my eyes even more than I thought possible."

Twilight pulled onto Fluttershy's mane. "My family's been scholars for six generations, Fluttershy. And you go on with your 'rebellion'. Can't rebel when Equestria's a great place to live, can you? That system lets you do what you do, so leave my mentor out of this!"

"More like made you a sell out to conform, Rarity." Pinkie Pie tackled Rarity, staring her down. "I thought you wouldn't do that. Or did you... pussy out?"

Rarity dug her forehooves into Pinkie's curly coat, saliva shooting out of her muzzle. "You pudgy bitch!"

Applejack's eyes drifted between the screaming and shoving match that had erupted between her friends and Rainbow nosing her flank to push her toward the train's rear. "Uhh... should we... ya know... stop them?"

Rainbow stuck out her tongue. "As the resident mare who's kinda pissy all the time but you all know I'm eighty percent joking about it, it's just them trying not to think about what tomorrow's gonna bring. That little thing about our lives changing set them all off." She waved a forehoof dismissively through the air. "Don't worry about'em; they'll tire out quickly. They aren't in shape like we are."

"I suppose you're right," Applejack nodded, ruffling through Rainbow's mane. "Say, I got some whiskey hidden here. Now I'm not sayin' we get plastered or anythin', but just nip a bit and talk... not like them."

"Totally up for that," Rainbow said, hovering toward the caboose. "I mean, so what? We got high, drunk, Rarity and I had a huge fight and then ended up bucking, four of us did each other, Celestia found out, and she and Cadance want to talk to us. Big deal. We're the Elements of Harmony: We kick flank and are awesome by default!"

"And we'll keep on bein' awesome," Applejack smiled. "As long as... you don't make out with me again. For a third time. I do find it kinda funny you 'n I can talk about this stuff and not get angry at each other."

Rainbow crossed a forehoof over her chest. "You're my sister from a different mare, how can I get angry at you? You make good points sometimes. Kissing you two times is enough for me!"

Applejack jumped down from her bunk to follow Rainbow Dash, glancing one last time to watch the fisticuffs of Rarity, Pinkie, Twilight and Fluttershy kicking, screaming, biting and punching each other like four mares drunk in a bar fighting over a partner for the evening.

None of the Elements knew how that same scenario would repeat itself in the future once again. Including Applejack and Rainbow Dash making out.

Again.

And again.