Friendship is Volatile

Tired, sweaty, and strangely ravenous Locks wandered inside behind Twilight to see Rarity and Rainbow Dash conversing on the couch. The moment they were inside however, both mares began staring at him. It was a look difficult to describe.... something between smugness and.... affection. It reminded him of how his best friends lady looked at him right before serving a delicious burrito she made for his dinner.

A burrito he found out later that had enough THC to completely blitz him for a day and an entire box of laxatives, rendering him so stoned he could do nothing but flop around on the floor and blast shit into his already soiled pants. He never did cheat on her again after that incident, but the more they stared the more he was sure the looks were one in the same, only differing in the species department.

Without a single word the two mares rose from the couch and made for the door, Rarity passing on his left side and Rainbow Dash on his right. Since he was expecting his new best friend to fuck with him he kept his eyes glued on her, but the most she did was shift her self to the side, causing him to jump even though she just flicked him with her tail. Rarity on the other hand, or hoof, decided it was a fantastic moment to full force slap him on the ass, actually making him hop forward and trip over his own feet. They were still smiling those little smiles when the door closed behind him, leaving Twilight alone with him.

The evil women folk were plotting his demise. He had to act quickly if he wished to evade a fate as terrible as his friends, but he had to know what the hell was going on in a few days. Turning quickly on Twilight he slowly approached the still giggling mare with his hands held open in front of him. She really was the smart one among them, because she immediately started backing away.

"Twilight..... I feel that I'm.... ill prepared for work in the spa and I'd like a little practice before I meet with the twins tomorrow. Since I provided you with so much data, maybe you could help me out in the same kind of way."

"What.... What ever do you mean Mr. Locks? I.... I was just gauging the extent of your magic! I have to know how far you can be pushed to properly teach you!"

"Come now Twilight, I'm not going to hurt you.... And we should really be more honest with each other. I bet you're just itching to report your findings to Celestia or Luna. Don't be shy now, I promise you'll enjoy every second of this."

"Wait! Wait a minuet! I... I didn't consent to this!"

"And I didn't consent to the doctors taking samples out of my hide when I was unconscious. Or is that completely legal for you ponies to invade such an.... intimate space without approval?"

The poor unicorn was paying so much attention to him that she didn't realize how close she was to the book cases. When her butt bumped into the cases she turned to the right and tried to flee. He took great joy in pouncing on top of the unicorn and dragging her down with him as his hands cupped her face and started intently rubbing behind her ears. The effect was almost immediate and slightly disturbing.

The moment his fingers started working behind her ears the mares body seemed to completely relax, and with a bit more pressure and exploration she let out a low groan of pleasure as his smile doubled in size. Keeping one hand working on her ear and using his right arm to shift her onto his lap he started exploring the mares head more intently, looking for every little pleasure spot he could find.

"If your really want me to stop Twilight I can, but this is extremely helpful in case I ever get a Unicorn client at the spa. Eventually I'll have to explore the different body types of each pony to get a good grasp on what I'm doing."

"Mmmmmkay..... You can.... keep going...... if it really..... helps."

If he knew they were this sensitive around their ears he would have done this to Dashie ages ago, but after finding some interesting spots on the Unicorn (and maybe even an erotic spot with the moan she let out when his fingers traveled closer to her horn) Locks once again shifted Twilight off of his lap and straddled the mare, putting more of his back into working a few kinks out of her neck.

When he thought she was relaxed enough for a bit of interrogation he casually murmured to her, using the same calming voice and gentleness he used on human clients while his hands worked through the muscles around her shoulders.

"May I ask you a question Twilight?"

"Mmmmmhmmmmm......"

"I can't seem to remember something that's going to happen soon.... I can recall hearing about it from somewhere, but I can't quite put my finger on what it was...."

"Was it...... about magic?"

"No.... Nothing like that.... It was some kind of important date.... Something I really should remember, and its on the tip of my mind but I can't place it..... It was something happening in the next few days...."

"Hmmmmm..... There isn't a holiday or anything like that......."

"I didn't think so..... It's just that it feels like something I aught to remember...... Its on the tip of my mind but it keeps eluding me...."

"Mmmmmmmm...... It might be...... Estrous........"

"............"

If he hadn't been ready for her to react she might have smashed his balls with how quickly she bucked up and shot out from under him, whipping around and looking at him in a panic.

"Twilight.... What might Estrous be?"

"eh... hehe.... I'm not... qualified to explain that to you...."

"But you are the brains of our little circle of friends Twilight. You're the scholar, the teacher, the open mind. Who better to instruct me then you?"

"I'm really really not the one who should be teaching you about that Locks.... Rarity would actually be a lot better than me! I'll just go get her real quick and she can tell you!"

He cut her off at the door, holding his arms across its length to prevent her from escaping. Unfortunately Twilight vanished in a flash of purple light and a snap, leaving him alone in the library blinking in confusion. Crafty little thing..... But if she was so intent on getting Rarity he was sure he could find a dictionary somewhere with that term in it. Silly purple horse.... He knew Rarity wouldn't be telling him shit about whatever the hell Estrous was, but as he looked through the book shelves something was eating at the back of his mind.

Locks could swear he heard that term before.... somewhere in his past when that unique word came up, but for the life of him he couldn't recall what it was. After a few more moments of browsing however, he came across a thick shelf of multiple dictionaries and selected the biggest tome for the job. Flipping through the book he finally found almost a half page dedicated to the term.

Heat. It was what the ponies called going into heat, and if he hadn't been sweating before he was pouring buckets as he kept reading. The definition was clean cut enough, but the rest of the passage seemed to be dedicated to the dangers associated with females suppressing their natural instinct or what the book referred to as "Skipping" It went into detail on how a mare could become dangerous if they didn't use either a device to simulate conception or physically finding a partner to do the act for them they could devolve into a state close to psychotic...

Slamming the book shut Locks began frantically started looking for a book on pony anatomy and physiology, and once more grabbing the thickest volume he then searched the magical section for the largest spell book he could find. The title "1001 Spells A Unicorn Should Know" stood out as the best fix, but just to be sure he grabbed the Magic 101 book as well before looking around the library.

There was a staircase leading down, and since Twilight was gone she might not look for him down there when she found out he wasn't in plain view. Scouring the library he came across a few candles and a box of matches, snagging some loose paper as well as an ink pot and quill before lighting one candle in a holder and adjusting his stack of books and supplies to carry down the stairs safely.

Down in the depths of the library he found a single unlocked door that lead into an open area almost as large as the library itself. There was odd equipment here and there, what looked like a chemistry set that sat empty on its own table, a few more book shelves, and finally a small bed with a large desk beside it to study at. Placing his selection down he immediately began pouring over the books, his hands nearly shaking with the picture slowly building inside of his head.

Worse still, it seemed that as he read through the information he was looking for his mind had apparently snapped along the way and a conversation started rapidly shooting back and forth between himself.... and his penis.

"Fuck this shit seven ways to Sunday! We need to figure out how to disable those crazy bitches if they come at us!"

"We can't hurt them. Like it or not we can't hurt a woman in need..... Even if it is weird, how the hell do you think they'd react if we physically harmed a mare in heat?"

"We. Are. Not. Fucking. Ponies! You know what the damn dictionary said! They can get freakin dangerous if they don't get their fix! Hate to break it to you, but with you dangling down below Richy, we don't have a choice besides running the fuck away!

"You think Celestia and Luna will casually let it go if we hurt a mare during heat? We could end up exiled or worse. The female rulers won't take kindly to us hurting ponies at all.

Little Richy had a point. Celestia and Luna might actually mess him up if they hurt a pony in their realm.... even if they did come at them in a sex crazed state. Another voice barely registered during his nervous meltdown however... A very feminine voice coming from the candlestick.

"Oh my..... someone seems to be having some issues...."

"We'll find a stun spell.... or a sleeping spell or something! We haven't been in fucking Equestria long enough to start doing the local populace! There has got to be a way to evade them!

"You saw the text. Estrous lasts for a week more or less depending on the mare. Sure we could probably figure out a way to get away from the Unicorns and Earth ponies, but what the hell will we do if we get cornered?"

".........Rainbow Dash can fly...... So can Spitfire......."

"Bingo. The mares we might have the worst problems with can get around better than all the rest, and if we exhaust our resources in the magic department? Or heaven forbid get trapped with one or both of them in the same place?"

"....... What the hell do you propose we do Richy? If the worst case scenario plays out and we do get trapped what then?"

"...... We stand and deliver."

Sweeping the dictionary and magic books away Locks opened the book on pony anatomy and physiology, his heart sinking to new depths as he read on the subject at hand, or more specifically, between his legs.

"Male ponies are between 12 and fucking 16 inches long and 1 1/2 inch to 3 inches wide! No offense Richy but you're coming up really short in comparison!

"Oooooo someone looks like they're lacking some meat in the meat stick! Having performance anxiety hmmm?"

"Shut the fuck up candlestick! I'm having an intense conversation with my dick!"

10 and 8/10th's of an inch, 2 and 4/10th's of an inch....... It's not that far of a stretch.....

"Are you fucking kidding Richy?! They're smallest is still longer then you! We're below the fucking standard here and the females are days away from turning into sex fiends! You think a fucking human woman minds a few inches shorter than average?! How in the hell do you expect to make par with that?!

"WE ARE MEN! AND IF CALLED TO DO SO WE WILL STAND AND DELIVER! IF WE CAN'T THEN WE MIGHT AS WELL KILL OURSELVES FOR EMBARRASSING EVERY MALE OF OUR SPECIES!"

"I'm honestly amazed your penis has so much to say.... I always thought those things were one track minded little dangly bits."

".............I hate to admit it, but you're right Richy.... Their might be a spell or potion or something that could get us through this...."

"Remember, this is a last resort. If we can't figure out a way to keep the women folk off of us then we have to be prepared if the worst does come to pass."

"We might just be over reacting.... It's really far out there that a pony would come onto an alien even if they are extra frisky."

"You think Spitfire is the type of gal who makes idle threats? If we're right this is what she was talking about, and that whole best flyer in Equestria is really going to bite us in the ass here.

"You know it's your fucking fault for that one.... You just had to assert your presence when you should have listened to me."

"Bro. I know all too well. If everything goes to shit I'm the one taking the plunge here."

"God speed to you Richy.... God speed.....

"We must prepare........."