Friendship is Volatile

Rarity's work was once again on a level of impressiveness that Locks could barely comprehend. The black pants were almost perfectly fitted to his frame, and strangely enough the mare had even created a pair of dress socks and boots that were also comfortably fit without too much error. While his undershirt fit similarly to the other form fitting one she made earlier it was the top that gave him a few moments of pause.

It was similar to a thick long sleeve dress shirt that simply fit over his body and extended down to mid thigh with a broad black belt worn over it. Donning the shirt and belt Locks could only smile at his reflection in the mirror. He would have to find someway to repay Rarity for all of her work and generosity, but before he turned to leave the bathroom a very small book caught his eye. It was wedged between a number of other books situated beside the toilet, but it seemed out of place somehow...

Plucking it up the small book had some kind of arcane circle etched in purple over the black cover and for whatever reason a chill ran up his spine when he opened it. Inside was another circle of runes with a short passage beneath.

For the exhausted unicorn seeking relief from the torments of the opposite sex, simply manifest the circle of runes to ease the burden of a mares heat. For the female spell caster's personal use, see page 2. To terminate spell simply utter the words. "You're services are no longer required."

Locks knew he should just put the book down and walk away. There was just too many disturbing questions that popped up with such a book inside Twilight's bathroom and conveniently hidden amongst all the other books, but his buzz and curiosity got the better of him. It was unnerving how easily his magic came to him now, and with just a thought the lightning around his left hand formed into the ruins on the page. It felt too much like his power wanted to make these runes, but the moment the circle was completed and floating above his left hand it vanished.

The magic used didn't return to him so it must have worked, yet he felt no different and saw nothing strange around the bathroom. That was until four long black tentacles looped around in front of him. Oddly enough they seemed to be wriggling with joy, but how he knew that was a mystery.

"Good day sir and thank you for summoning with Rapid Rape Repository! My name is Jefferies! And I am your designated multi-limbed assistant."

"You're services are.."

"Oh come on! You haven't even seen my resume!"

There were thousands of things wrong with talking tentacles coming from somewhere behind an individual, but once more he found himself stopping mid sentence. The secret word for Locks was resume, a particularly sensitive subject considering how difficult it was for him to obtain a job as a masseur. If it wasn't for a personal favor from one of his friends he wouldn't have been employed at all.

"Well... I can't turn you away without reviewing your resume..."

"I assure you sir you will not be disappointed with my qualifications! Not only am I certified to sexually satisfy every sentient species on this planet, but I also hold each of those species at a master's level of competence! You will not find another ground based multi-limbed assistant with both the Pegasi and the Gryphon certificates!"

"Putting the sexy time tentacle monster thing aside, how exactly did you qualify for creatures that fly?"

"By no small feat of conviction sir! It was an extremely arduous task, but I'm proud to say I am the only ground born multi-limbed assistant that holds both qualifications in existence! Don't be fooled by other cretins who may boast being unicorn qualified. Unicorns are our primary summoners and if an assistant isn't even qualified for them at a masters level they are completely inept."

Locks jumped at the sound of a hoof lightly knocking at the door, but luckily without any prompting Jefferies vanished from sight as the door opened slowly after a few more gentle knocks.

"Mr. Locks, we really must be going. We'll be on time at the very least but we have to leave now or risk giving the twins a bad impression."

Following Rarity out of the door Locks could feel himself sweating as he felt the eyes of Luna, Twilight, and Vinyl follow him until the library door closed behind him. Of all the things that could have sobered him up a tentacle creature currently residing inside of him wasn't on the top of his lists.

"If we ever make it back home with Jefferies we could go to Japan and live like kings."

"Huh... Your penis is sentient... How odd."

"Dude... Really? You came out of a sex book and your qualified for sexing everything that thinks.... Pot calling the kettle black much?"

"Not at all good sir! Not at all! I'm fully aware of what I am and what my function is, but throughout my long life I've never come across a sentient penis."

"That does not make me feel any better Jefferies. Besides, it's just a product of the crazies. I haven't exactly been right in the head since I came to Equestria."

"Ummm.... No sir... I'm... sorry to inform you of this... but... uh... It really is sentient. I'm inside of your head and currently I'm part of your back... That guy down below though.... He's a lot like me. We're just sharing a bit of room up here to talk."

"My function is fucking and I love my function!"

As the words were sung inside of his head followed by Jefferies laughter Locks could only stare off into the distance as the last vestiges of sanity shuttered and flew away. Nothing made any sense, so why bother trying.

"You're not helping Richie. You're not helping at all."

"Relax bro! A dick ain't worth much without a pair of hips to pump it. Welcome to the crazy train Jefferies, we're going for a ride!"

"Oh joy!"

With the momentary quiet Locks noticed Rarity stop and look up at him expectantly as they waited outside of a fairly large establishment at the edge of the marketplace. Without a second thought he knelt down in front of her and kissed her hoof, smiling gently at her before standing once more.

"Thank you again for everything Rarity. I will repay your kindness."

There were a lot of ponies milling about and his actions didn't go unnoticed as Rarities face turned beet red from a whistle that sounded from somewhere behind her. Opening the door to the spa Locks smiled fondly at the twins waiting behind the counter with another mare.

"Bonjour mes petites beautés."

"Bonjour monsieur Lockette"

Kneeling once more in front of the twins he kissed their hooves in turn, earning him a giggle from both before standing once more. The twins turned around and led him into the back area and up a set of stairs. Seeing the line of doors Locks wondered if he was going to be giving one of the twins a demonstration. It would have been so very simple that way, yet simple things were not meant for a freak such as himself. The moment they opened the door into the private room Spitfire smiled coyly at the little group from the table she was lounging upon. He barely registered Aloe's voice as the three of them stepped inside with Lotus locking the door behind them.

"My sister and I were originally going to gauge your skills for this interview, but Madam Spitfire has insisted on your attention for her appointment today."

It would take some getting used to, but Lotus immediately picked up for her sister as she retrieved a clipboard and quill from a nearby counter.

"The madam has persistently refused services from any pony under our employ besides the two of us, so it came as a surprise when she decided to not only wait for you, but insist on participating in this demonstration. Aloe will act as your assistant and I shall grade your performance. Madam Spitfire will attest her level of satisfaction."

"Won't there be a bit of a problem with our differing limbs my ladies?"

"Rest assured Mr. Lockette, we both hold certificates as instructors and qualifiers for Gryphons and Minotaurs. Both species share enough similarities to your own appendages."

With the three mares smiling coyly at him and an expectation set higher than he could have ever imagined Locks wanted nothing more than to abandon ship and bail, but his pride would never allow him to do so. There was no way in hell he'd disappoint the mare that made him the cloths for this interview, yet he couldn't stop doubting himself with her smiling smugly at him.

"So Jefferies... I kinda want to see just how qualified you are with pegasi..."

Hmmm? How so?

"Do you just... Go to town on everything or do you work them up first?

"My good sir. There is no orgasm as drawn out and powerful as one that has been painstakingly built up on a foundation of pent up desire. Making a client want the peak makes that peak all the more pleasurable.

"Could you tell us how to make this mare squirm?"

"Gentlemen, I could instruct you on how to push this mare just to the edge of paradise and make it look like she's  a horny school girl in front of these lovely earth ponies."

"They're both professional spa ponies though... They have to know quite a bit about making a client... frisky."

"Allow me to prove my value and demonstrate centuries worth of experience. I assure you my instruction alone is enough to turn her into a quivering mess."

"Working that bitch up and kicking her to the curb without blowing her top? Fucking do it bro!"

"I'm suddenly ok with this."

Locks returned Spitfire's smile before approaching the table, removing his over shirt and placing it over a nearby chair as Jefferies instructed.

"We can't have oil sullying such a nice article of clothing. Request Salthama Oil with essence of Rose from the assistant."

With a smooth order Aloe's eyes widened for a moment before she quickly moved to comply which was followed by insistent scratching of the quill on paper. Jefferies had him massaging her head and slowly down her mane as he asked questions about the digits on his hand, pressure he could apply with them alone, and force he could put into it with his body. There was a bit of hesitation on his part with the injury but Jefferies brushed it aside.

"It is against RRR protocol to operate through a damaged vessel, so standard procedure is regeneration of any current injuries. I assure you however that I have not modified your body in any way, shape, or form. I can simply manifest from your back. Now that miss Spitfire's head and mane are done, clean your hands and request Catalina Oil with Lavender essence."

"I thought we were going to make her a randy bitch..."

"Patients good sir, that's coming next. The oils are for the sake of the twins. Both are luxury items designed specifically for Pegasi and both carry quite a hefty price tag. The idea alone that you know of them and how to apply their uses will only win them over further, but their side effects will also serve our purposes handsomely."

Locks obeyed his instructor and requested the oil to the surprise of the twins. It wasn't long before he found himself gently working her face and neck carefully before moving further down, but the moment he reached the area just above her wings his instructions became a complicated series of commands executed within seconds of each other. Spitfire's wings flared out before them, and with a series of orders to Aloe he followed Jefferies instructions to the letter as their assistant zipped around them.

For the most part Spitfire crooned every now and then while he worked on her head and mane, but those little sounds were soon replaced with outright moans and squeaks. There was a point where her wings flared out completely, only to be carefully stroked while his otherworldly friend pointed out broken or loose feathers to be removed. Every single time one of them came free Aloe would apply a thicker substance to his index and middle finger which was worked into the area now free of the feather.

The pegasus was actively squirming on the table whenever he relieved her of a feather, which made him wonder before Jefferies answered his question.

"Preening for pegasi is normally an uncomfortable process that has to be done, but in some odd cases the mare or stallion in question actually derive a great deal of pleasure from it. A nice little stroke of luck that miss Spitfire seems to be on of those mares, but even if she wasn't the Thalsama solution would have soothed the discomfort."

"What does it do to the ones that like it?"

"It might as well be marketed to them as an aphrodisiac. We're basically just stacking explosives on top of highly flammable objects at this point, but we're almost there. Be very careful with your movements from here on out sir... Any little spark or jolt of pleasure at the wrong time will set her off."

There was something magical about how Spitfire looked at that moment. He wasn't entirely sure how much time had passed since he began, but the coy, smirking, smug little bitch from earlier had vanished beneath Jefferies instruction. What was left was a shuttering, wriggling, and moaning mare that looked on the verge of sexual bliss. When she caught his eye he could see the need and desire behind them, that oh so wonderful look of a woman about to cream herself with just a little more.

That was about the time Jefferies ordered him to stop and step away, which he did with a smug smile adorning his lips. It was terrifying how quickly that need and desire turned into murderous rage, yet he couldn't help but smirk.

"What... Do you think your doing...."

"Madam Spitfire, that is the end of my demonstration. It would be inappropriate for me to touch you past your lower back during any massage besides a full body. I wouldn't dream of intruding on such a private area without strict employment."

Aloe cut off the pegasus before she could respond.

"Well said monsieur Lockette. That was a marvelous demonstration, yet I can't help thinking you're far more skilled than you let on."

"It is difficult for me to believe this is the first time you've serviced a pegasus, but I digress. Aloe and I would love to have you work for us."

"There's no way in tartarus you're going to walk away from this..."

The twins turned on Spitfire with their muzzles barely an inch from her own. Each picked up after the other as Lotus began speaking.

"Was it not pleasurable?"

"Did he harm you?"

"Or were we mistaken by the sounds you were making on the table Madam Spitfire?"

"I don't believe we need to remind the lady that this is a professional establishment."

"And we certainly wouldn't dream of the lady seeking services that would be...."

"Unbecoming..."

"We are however not deaf to our clients needs."

"Especially such a loyal client as yourself. As a token of our gratitude you may return for an entire day of relaxation."

"We will also extend to you the third slot on monsieur Lockette's scheduled when the spa reopens in a week."

That actually made Locks pull his smirking gaze from the murderous pegasus and look at the twins. Without another word the twins led him out of the room with Spitfire's gaze burning a hole into the back of his head as he pulled his over shirt back on and readjusted the belt. Aloe started the twins off first as they lead him to the front with a little skip in their steps.

"It just so happens that two unicorns requested appointments for your services should you become employed monsieur Lockette, and I must admit you handled that situation quite well."

"We knew Madam Spitfire was something of a sensitive mare, but we were not expecting so much excitability from her considering she volunteered."

"Then again... It is as they say my dear Aloe."

"A lover's touch..."

"Is enough to set any heart ablaze."

"Are the rumors simply that monsieur Lockette?"

"Or are you fooling around with the lady Spitfire?"

With a pair of musical giggles the twins led his sputtering ass to the front door and smiled one final time, speaking in unison before the door closed behind him.

"See you in a weeks time monsieur Lockette!"

The moment the door was fully closed Locks fled with the threat of impending rape looming over his head.

"I don't think we're capable of outrunning a pegasus at this speed gentlemen."

"Made Spitfire moan like a whore in front of two other women. Totally worth it."

"If you fuckers don't have any ideas on how we're going to escape then please shut the fuck up!"

"While we've brought this upon ourselves gentlemen, I assure you the following sexual encounter will surely make up for it."

"Nope. Still not into ponies. Do not want."

Oh... Well... This won't be a very pleasant experience for you at all then Mr. Richie. I'm terribly sorry."

"It's ok bro, still worth it. Besides, we have backup plans!"

Rarity was galloping beside them demanding to know what happened and though it killed him to stop with the idea Spits could be on his ass any minute he couldn't leave her hanging.

"What are you running away from dear? Did something happen at the spa.?!"

"Nope! Got the job! Did fantastic, start working next week. Gotta go bye bye thanks."

Leaning down Locks actually pecked her on the lips with a little kiss before speeding off towards the library once more. He needed to think of something before Spitfire came, but like a blessing from the universe Rainbow Dash flew up beside him looking irritated and pouty. Taking her cheeks in his hands he drew her face close to his as a crazed smile spread across his lips.

"Listen up slave! Your last command is a simple one, but it will try every measure of your physical prowess to succeed. Should you be victorious, then you're free and won't have to suffer the humiliation I had planned for you earlier! IF YOU FAIL ME THEN YOUR LIFE WILL BE HELL WITH NO ESCAPE UNTIL THE LAST SECOND OF OUR BET EXPIRES!"

The way her eyes narrowed into pinpricks was enough of a confirmation that she understood completely, so without any further prompting he gave his slave her final order.

"Spitfire is coming after me Dashie, and she's coming like a rape train. The rape train has no breaks, but it can be diverted! Guess who's doing the diverting?! YOU! I don't care if you have to wrestle, fight, bite, or fuck that mare into submission, but if you value what little self image I haven't destroyed yet you'll keep her away."

There was a whistling sound carrying through the air, and as Locks turned towards the direction he had come from his heart nearly stopped. Spitfire was streaking her way towards them, but with one last whisper he tried to motivate his minion into action.

"If she gets to me within the next hour I'm going to dress you up as a pretty maid and take dirty pictures of you."

An instant later Rainbow Dash shot off like a rocket, speeding towards the yellow and red ballistic missile on an intercept course with his face. He could hear their bodies colliding as he laughed manically and fled, seeking refuge in the library while his minion dealt with Spitfire. Kicking the door open and slamming it shut Locks wracked his brain for any possible way of escape. Before anything could come to mind however, a crazed Sparkle pony came bursting from the staircase leading to the basement.

"YOU'RE GOING TO CANTERLOT!"

"What...."

"Uh... Yeah! Your going to Canterlot for a week! To.... To study! Your going to Canterlot to study etiquette! For... For the Gala!"

At some point between him leaving for his interview and now Twilight apparently fell off the sanity bus. Her hair was frazzled, the ponies eyes were dilated into huge disks and for whatever reason she seemed to have trouble walking right, but a moment later his clothing was sitting in a bag in front of him along with a few spell books, the boots he made, what was left of the thaumatic steel, his small chest of bits, and a rolled up scroll.

"Your going to study etiquette in my old room at the castle! This letter will explain everything to the staff and guards! Don't cause any trouble! I'll see you in a week! We'll have a few days to go over everything before the Gala! I'm teleporting you there now so don't do anything stupid and take regular study breaks! BYE!"

Locks watched in mild shock as magic began gathering into the unicorn's horn, building in pressure and strength that even he could feel when a flash of light and a snap signaled Luna's arrival to his right.

"Twilight... Was there something you needed to discuss with me? Your letter seemed rather urgent."

Feeling an unnerving energy slowly envelop his body Locks heard a single, unbelievably stupid thought cross his mind.

"You should totally slap that ass before we're sent away."

It wasn't only dumb, it was suicidal. Not five minuets ago he got away from a different mare hellbent on raping him and here he was about to make a clean escape.

"We're already lecherous deviants good sir. Might as well keep up appearances."

....Well played gentlemen. Well played.

The only thing louder than the sound of his open hand smacking into Luna's ass was the yelp she let out just before he felt his body being torn out of reality.