Friendship is Volatile

Locks didn't get the nice feeling of waking up slowly and blissfully. After his dream it felt like being catapulted back into reality. To be fair his face was buried in something very warm and fuzzy, and as he shifted his body on the hard floor he felt his head being pulled more closely against that warm fuzzy thing. Bringing his right hand up to rub his eyes he noticed a dreadful wetness that made him cringe inwardly.

When he did manage to make sense of what was going on around him he realized with a shiver that his face had been buried in blue fur. Cyan colored to be exact, that and the particular mare it belonged to would most likely have something painful or possibly even deadly in store for him after yesterday. Something far worse happened though when he felt her release a hiccup and a sniffle. Looking slowly up at her he felt his heart contract in his chest.

Rainbow Dash was nothing but huge magenta eyes filled with tears streaking down her muzzle. It was the saddest, most adorable thing he had ever seen and with a shutter he realized that the dream was real in all of its awful clarity. The only thing he could relate her with was a tiny puppy whimpering for its missing master, nothing but big sad eyes and heart wrenching little hiccups. It was a torrential downpour of feels that he didn't want to stand in.

Pushing her away with his hands he rolled across the floor.

"NOPE!"

He felt like shit, his guts felt like it was trying to devour his spine, and the dream that contained extremely personal feelings had been shared with two females. Locks was perfectly content with taking the man route and simply burying those painful thoughts and feelings until he either forgot about them or developed some form of psychosis. The last thing he wanted was the gushing emotions of two strangers that he barely knew.

Locks tried to push himself onto his feet, but with a grunt of pain he fell back as Rainbow Dash slammed into his side and pinned him onto his back.

"STOP. BEING. A. BUCKING. ASS. LOCKS!"

He wondered if he was in fact the first human to be bitch slapped by a pony. Regrettably it seemed that Dashie wasn't the weepy hugging type, but the slap you in the face until you're all better ones. Needlessly to say, hooves are hard as fuck and each smack held enough emotional fuel to cause his head to jerk about as she punctuated each word. When she was finally done she simply sat on top of him with her front hooves pressing into his chest and sniffled.

"Why do you have to be a dick Locks? If its bothering you so much then you could have said something!"

"That's the point Dashie. I didn't want to say anything because I didn't want this kind of thing to occur. I was expecting hugs though, but I guess being slapped about will have to do."

Even with blood collecting in his mouth his stomach let go of another loud and painful growl, thankfully getting Dashie off of him long enough to get up and wobble his way towards the extra cloths Rarity gave him.

"Alright Dashie, I need to bathe and get something to eat before we have anymore touchy feely time. I'll be back in a minuet."

Taking a glance back he could see that her eyes were a lot dryer than before, and that earlier sadness was replaced by a harder angrier look. He smirked just to piss her off a little more, hearing a low growl even from across the room as he disappeared into the bathroom. Anger he could deal with, yelling he could deal with, sadness, crying, and puppy eyes was what killed him on the inside, so keeping Dashie pissed off would do wonders for his state of mind.

When he finished taking a shower and brushing his teeth Locks found Dashie standing beside a plate of what looked like french fries but.... with something off about them. He smirked again when he saw her blushing and looking away.

"I... I made you some hay fries...."

Taking one of the things he chewed reflectively before realizing that even in his state of hunger it wasn't something he could eat. He was pretty sure hay was on the list of things humans couldn't consume, but smiling gently he cupped the pegasus' cheeks in his hands and kissed her forehead. Strange thing was her wings flared out at the touch.

"Thank you for the thought Dashie, but humans can't eat hay.... I'm thinking we're going to a restaurant with an extended menu so I can see if there's anything on there that I can have."

She jerked away from him and growled, but with her wings still flared out and that blush on her cheeks it made it hard to be intimidated by her.

"Oh no! You just want to get out of what happened yesterday! You're not leaving today!"

"I'm pretty sure you wouldn't have slapped me around that hard if I hadn't done anything yesterday....."

"That's!... no I didn't...... You deserved it!"

"I'm going to get food Dashie, you can stay here if you like but I need to eat. The only thing I've had for the past few days were a couple of cookies from the tin you beamed at my head."

"..........."

Filling his two pockets from his small chest they just got out of the door when the royal sisters landed in front of them. By this time Locks was used to seeing Luna but this was only the second time he'd seen Celestia.

"Its regrettable we didn't get here in time... Your face is looking a little puffy today Mr. Locks, are you alright?"

"My face is a little fucked up... You can probably here it in my P's and B's but its cool fuck it..."

"And where might you be heading Mr. Locks?"

"To find food Lulu, since I haven't had anything resembling a meal in nearly two days."

Locks cut around Luna and tried to walk towards town when he felt her hoof wrap around his right shoulder and across his chest, turning him towards Celestia.

"Why don't you relax for a while I get you something Mr. Locks? My sister wanted to talk to you about yesterday anyways."

With a long, deep, and irritated sigh he did the first thing that came to mind in dealing with Luna. Throwing his left arm around her neck he leaned into her and licked the front of her muzzle up to the tip of her nose. He felt the woman's wings pop out behind him and watched her face contort in rage. An aura appeared around her horn, and her eyes seemed to bleed out color until he was looking into two solid white orbs that promised a painful demise. That was however until he spoke again with a smirk.

"You know what you taste like Lulu? You taste like popcorn. I'm surprised you didn't bring any this morning, its one of the things here I know humans can eat."

It never failed to amaze him how a female could flip their emotions around in an instant, and Luna's rage turned into a look of shock. Her eyes shifted nervously towards Celestia, who was looking at her in that sibling kind of way when the younger one fucked up and the eldest knew she would have to pay for it. Smiling at Celestia he tapped Luna on the nose.

"Celesssssstia..... Did you know Lulu likes popcorn?"

"I actually do.... She especially likes popcorn when she's enjoying a show of some sort."

"Yeah.... I'ma go find some food now since Lulu didn't bring any to share today."

It seemed Luna hadn't mentioned her escapades last night, which probably was the only reason he was still breathing since he was pretty sure she would have turned him inside out or something equally horrible. Since she decided to throw him under the bus and tell big mama about what happened yesterday it was only fair he did the same to her. He wondered how many times Luna had gotten a lecture from her older sister about screwing around in other peoples dreams.

"So what's up Sunshine? I figured running a country takes up a lot of time so I'm assuming Lulu told on me."

"What you did yesterday was extremely dangerous Locks. Everyone is lucky that events ended the way they did with no pony hurt."

"I took a few precautions to keep it that way Sunshine."

"And what precautions did you take? Seeing as it was your first time wielding magic I can safely assume you know nothing about it."

"Easy enough, grab something that wouldn't break or otherwise get damaged. Dashie's tail looks a bit lopsided but she's no worse for wear."

"So forcing a pony into a compulsion spell is no real harm done?"

"Only to my best friend Sunshine, only to my best friend."

"You do this sort of thing to your friends...."

"Oh no, no I gotta break this pony in nice and gentle. Just wait until we know each other a little while longer."

He smiled back at Dashie who was rubbing her temple tiredly. When they did find a suitable eatery with outside tables Locks pulled the chairs out for each of them.

"Tell you what Sunshine, we haven't been very honest with each other since I got here. We both have something to hide, and I'm glad to see that while certain ponies came across that particularly nasty bit of information I've been keeping under the table its nice they haven't told you or anyone else."

"Locks... We want to help you. We've done nothing besides try to settle you in and protect you..."

"I got that, but you wouldn't be here now if it wasn't for me using magic. We'll keep our agendas to ourselves if that makes you more comfortable. I know you can't build trust without trust so I'll go out on a limb here Sunshine. Ask a favor."

"We shouldn't be dishonest or hide things from each other at all Locks."

"Last chance Sunshine. Ask for one free favor and we'll put everything else behind us. Maybe if I trust any of you ponies more in the future I'll come out at tell you whats been bugging me. For the time being though I just want something to keep my mind occupied... it's like the old saying goes. A mind without purpose will wander in dark places."

Celestia looked at him thoughtfully for a few seconds, and as Locks leveled his own stare he wondered where this ruler would go with so much freedom just handed to her.

"Promise me never to use magic to harm another."

"That might get me killed, but I'll humor you. I promise never to use magic to harm another creature except in the defense of my life or the defense of another."

She smiled in a very motherly kind of way when she held out a hoof to seal the promise, but Locks held up his hand and waved a waitress over. The pony ran back into the restaurant and returned shortly after carrying a knife in her teeth.

"You seem like an old fashioned gal Sunshine, we'll seal this deal the old way."

After making a small slash across the palm of his right palm he handed the knife over to the monarch, who lifted the blade and made her own cut just above her hoof. When Locks held his bleeding hand out an urge to bring his own magic forward caused his hand to ark magic between his fingers and along his arms.

"I, Lockette Hekmet hereby swear never to harm another creature with magic excluding the defense of my life or the defense of an innocent."

The moment their limbs met he felt something akin to a massive shock travel up his arm and settle over his body before finally fading away. When he looked at his hand and Celestia's hoof there was no trace of blood or the wounds either of them made.

"You know, you could have asked me to be a nice person or to obey your orders..."

"I think you are a nice person Locks, and I also think you'll do whats right when asked."

"I don't think the other ponies are convinced Sunshine."

"That's because you haven't given them a reason to be."

Celestia rose from her seat and carefully paced around the table towards him, and after placing her hooves around his shoulders gave him a gentle hug.

"I'm leaving you in good hooves Mr. Locks, try not to drive them crazy."

"You're a good gal Sunshine, come visit me for a chat sometime."

Returning her hug Locks watched the monarch and Luna step away from their table before vanishing in a flash of light, leaving him there alone with his best friend.

"About damn time. Now its just you and me Dashie... What does my lovely little pony want to share on our date?"

"Buck my life."