Chapters Well, This Can't get any Worse, Right?
Chapter One.
Two hundred fifty-six years before the return of Nightmare Moon, Canterlot.
Many an advancement in technology and magic had served to make life easy for the ponies of Equestria, as well as the other races. Simple changes and improvements in farming technology and medicine had improved the lifespan of the average citizen exponentially.
Something's don't change, however and many of these advancements had been turned into weapons, or were used to harm others, often stemming from anger and hate.
And some were used to change things for the better, regardless of how.
Walking through the empty streets of the new capital, Canterlot, a Unicorn stallion, wearing bronze armor of simple, smooth plates with only his horn and hooves uncovered, looked up and smiled at the moon, the mark of the Nightmare visible on its surface. He sighed, looked around, noting the scaffolding and building supplies that lined the road with a cautious demeanor and let his head drop to look at the ground
After a moment, he lifted his right arm and brought the hoof down in a series of beats, drumming out a simple melody on the paving stones, the sound echoing in the empty street. As the tempo rose, the stone's began to shift, creating a opening large enough for a well built Earth-pony, the edge marked with etched gears, cogs and other mechanical components forming silhouettes along it's perimeter, each showing one of the many native life, from an archaic depiction of an Alicorn, to a Zebra, each more detailed than necessary, yet seemingly plain and simple.
Letting the melody fade, the stallion bobbed his head once in a nod, and then jumped into the opening, falling into the sewers of Canterlot. At the bottom, on the edge of a one inch-deep pond, standing guard over a simple door made of wooden slates were two oil-covered Earth-pony's, one mare, with a light orange coat, cobalt eyes and earthen brown mane and tail, and one stallion, colored in a solid forest-green save his yellow eyes , each carrying a short sword at their hips.
"Is Gold Plate gonna get here soon?" the stallion asked, irritation in his baritone voice, "Or is he going to wait till' the sun rises again?"
"I don't know, but tis' the third time you've asked me that, so if you would, Arc Weld, please, " she huffed and turned with a raised arm, ready to smack her companion, "SHUT UP!"
Just as her hoof connected with the back of his skull, the armored unicorn slammed into the pond hard enough to empty the tiny basin and shatter the stone at the bottom, drenching the pair.
Jumping out of the empty pond, the Unicorn's visor raised, coated by a light-gray aura, revealing emerald eyes.
"Whoop's..." he chuckled, cringing at the glare from the orange mare, "Sorry, Arc, Sharp Chisel."
"Just...Just go do your job, Plate." Sharp sighed and opened the door. "Please stop doing that."
"Sorry..."
After removing his helmet, revealing a golden blonde mane in a bowl cut, and an off-white coat, he walked through the door, his helm floating a few hoof-lengths away, and smiled at the sight in front of him. The room was massive, combining a forge, workshop, docking bays and assembly line with an eerie efficiency and filled with an army of smith's clock-makers' and mages, each area leaving enough space for seven ponies to walk side by side and still have a hoof-length on each side, and with good reason. Massive gears, pistons, springs and all kinds of machinery moved about, the sparks showing vaguely pony-ish shapes in varying states of construction, some missing legs, heads, jaws or some other appendage.
All save one, simple, thin Earth-pony made of bronze and lacking both a mane and a tail and closed eyes, small gaps at the joints' and circular ports on its back. It stood in the only empty area, a square boxing ring with ample space, with a dirt floor, and multiple areas slagged into glass.
Walking up to the silent figure, Gold Plate's helmet once again covered his head, all the workers' falling silent as they stopped their work, watching the stallion with awe.
"Test of the PNY-RTH Class Combat Automaton, Model zero-point-five, designated Proto."
The machines eyes opened, glowing with gray light, Gold Plate's horn glowing as the low hum of electricity filled the air.
"Begin."
Present day, three years after the return of Princess Luna, Ponyville.
Rainbow Dash flipped through the last pages of the book, closing it with a dejected sigh before returning it to the shelf it had come from.
“Man, that sucks…”
She flapped her wings and landed at the library’s reading table, her arms crossed, scowling slightly, though a smile tugged at the corners of her mouth. Princess Twilight, however, simply sipped her tea, looking through one of the project’s she’d been entrusted with after her coronation, before posing a simple question.
“Why, wasn’t it good?”
Rainbow sighed, the smile overtaking any attempt to look dejected, and nodded.
“Yeah, it was good. That’s not the problem,” Rainbow said, waving her arms about, “it’s the fact that it was such a cliffhanger, and come on!” she huffed, “Robots? That can shoot lightning? Really?”
Rainbow continued to rant before Twilight cut her off, pulling another book, it’s title nearly faded, and passed it to her multi-colored friend with her magic.
“Oh, you mean the Automatons?” Twilight looked at Rainbow’s shocked expression, and then giggled a little. “Those were common about one hundred years ago.”
“Wait,” Rainbow stared at the book, titled The Art of Golems’, From Air to Zirconium , before putting her jaw back in place, “those things were real?!”
“Yes, they were commonly used as soldiers', though Daring Do portrays them as mindless drones. That’s actually wrong.” Rainbow remained silent, and Twilight took the hint, continuing her explanation. “The ones that were made of metal often had the souls of dead ponies, Griffons or another race bound to them, making them as intelligent as they were before they died or volunteered. Before the Princess outlawed the production of them.” Twilight looked at the small clock sitting on the table, and grimaced. “Rainbow, didn’t you say you had to go to Cloudsdale tomorrow?”
“Yeah, at six a.m,” Rainbow said, mildly confused, “why?”
“It’s one in the morning.”
Rainbow looked at Twilight, grabbed the clock, and groaned and galloped out the door, taking the clock with her. Twilight sighed in annoyance, losing yet another timepiece to her friends. Lighting her horn, the newest Alicorn put the old book back in its place, and teleported a new alarm clock onto the table before standing up, her joints popping in protest as she turned off the lights, heading up the stairs to the bedroom. Being careful not to wake her assistant, she moved past the door and walked into the bathroom, levitating a toothbrush and a tube of toothpaste (Colgate’s recommended brand), and got ready for bed, having her own schedule to keep.
In the actual library, however, the book Rainbow Dash had been reading fell from the shelf, falling open to an illustration depicting a Pegasus, wearing a pith hat and vest, surrounded by bipedal ponies of all races, each having four fingered hands and gaps at the joints, with the background depicting walls of sheet metal and gears. A few of the bipeds where carrying swords, shields and strange tube-like weapons, eyes blank, while the Pegasus mare glared in defiance. Underneath was a slightly smudged title, bearing a simple yet profound meaning.
The Shadows of the Past March On.
Well, This Can't get any Worse, Right?
Chapter Two
Ponyville, Undefined Airspace on the Northern Edge of Town.
Rainbow Dash stood outside her home, yawning as the sun peeked over the horizon, her eyes half lidded. She made it home fine, and had the common sense to go to bed, but five hours wasn't quite good enough for her to just wake up ready to go. With a quick stretch and a flap, she shot into the air, wobbling slightly, and turned north, heading to the white speck on the horizon. Unbeknownst to her, however, another entity was close behind her, moving along the ground on heavy metal tank treads.
Damn it, why does she fly at mach one every time she goes somewhere? The armored vehicle dodged around a caravan, unnoticed by virtue of what it was, and shifted gears to pick up speed. Come on, treads don’t fail me now!
It wasn't the treads that gave up
With a ratcheting sound the vehicle lunged forward, before stopping with a loud clang as gaskets failed. Without a sound, the vehicle's plating folded in on itself before disappearing, replaced by a bipedal being wearing a large set of sunglasses and a gray coat, two rows of buttons running down the front, and a large silver lance strapped to his back. Grumbling, the being dropped to all fours and started galloping after his target, falling behind quickly, and soon losing sight of the cyan mare as he slowed to a trot with a mumbled 'Damn it'.
"Well, great," He said standing up and stomping his left hoof in frustration, "There goes one of today’s spells..."
Raising his left hand and holding out the first of the three claws at the end, sketched a circle, then bisected it vertically. The image formed from light, and he let his arm drop down to his side with a huff as the world around him warped and twisted, turning into white columns and tall, sleek buildings, all made of clouds. Turning his head left to right, he looked a sign of Rainbow Dash, and saw none.
"Where..?" He turned around and realized he was in the cities center, near city hall, and slammed a palm into his forehead with a clack of claw against horn. "Bloody fucking hell, am I really that dense..?" Turning towards the still rising sun, he jogged towards what he hoped was Rainbow's destination. Dodging the few Pegasi out and about at this hour proved to be an easy task compared to navigating a city planned in three dimensions. "Left, right, straight, up...no, wait, wasn't it down?" Skidding to a stop, he looked at the building's around him, only to be knocked down by a certain polychromatic blur. "Bingo," he said, standing up and dusting himself off before running after the mare, "and thank you blind luck...”
With that, he entered the Weather Factory, following her to a large conference room with a large blackboard attached to the far wall somehow.
Rainbow stared at the board, neither caring or understanding what the presentation had to do with her job, as it was about the distribution of rain to the eastern portion of Equestria, and any outlying area's nearby. Or why she had to sit through seven hours of bureaucratic nonsense when Ponyville was literally on the other side of the continent.
Slowly but surely, she began to daydream, thinking of her bed and her friends, which led her to memories of her hometown.
As her eyes started to glaze over, she found herself thinking about an old hangout from her year's at Flight School. She smiled at the antics her and a few other had gotten into, including a rather impressive prank involving three pounds of butter, a chicken, fifteen gallons of grape juice and half of an apple pie.
Wonder if it's still in business...
Problem was, her gaze wasn't directed at the board, but had instead drifted to one of the windows and the afternoon sun, catching the attention of the brown and red Pegasus stallion at said board.
"Rainbow Dash, " he shouted, startling Rainbow out of her trip down memory lane, "need I remind you to pay attention like a foal?"
"Uh, no, sorry," She quickly looked at the board and picked out a certain part of the diagram, trying to fake her way out, "I was just thinking about how moving clouds from the land-locked areas would help coastal towns'?"
Unfortunately, it was the one thing that had just been discussed, at length, by a weather manager from said coastal towns.
With a solid ‘THUD’ every head in the room, except for hers, connected with the table (and in one case, the podium) at the same time.
"What?" She looked around the room, and felt her cheeks grow warm. "Seriously, what I do?"
Meanwhile, the entity that had followed her was doing his level best to stay awake, despite the rather interesting mechanics of weather distribution, and busted out laughing at Rainbow's embarrassment. She rarely made mistakes that hurt her reputation, but when she did, she did so with style.
So she stood up and left the room, grumbling, still sporting a red tint to her face. Following her out to the street, the entity noted the position of her wings, tensed, and waited for her to open them.
"Well, what the hay..." she flared her feathered appendages, "Let's see if the bars still there..."
With that, she shot into the sky, leaving her shadow behind in seconds. Smiling, the entity clapped his claws together and started walking after her, the path of minor property damage left behind making a rather easy to follow path for him.
Five hours, six glasses of cider (for her) and an unmentionably complex beverage (for him), later.
The bar was alive and well, having grown over the years to accommodate Cloudsdales’ growing population, and Rainbow was having a rather good time catching up with the owner, while the unseen entity simply sipped at a multicolored drink.
"Humph." He watched as Rainbow started talking about one of her many achievements in stunt flying, chuckling to himself. "You might be the fastest flier in Equestria, Rainbow," he took another sip, the fruity drink essentially burning his throat like napalm, "but you certainly ain't the most humble."
"And then I ended it with an aileron roll before landing, and that's when-"
Deciding it was safe to leave Rainbow be, the entity walked behind the counter, waited for the cash register to be opened, and placed three bits inside before making his way to the door and making his way into the night air. Reaching his arm into the air, the entity popped his shoulders' with a groan, and jumped, landing on the bars roof, lying down and staring at the moon hovering just above the horizon and the still alien stars. He thought back to the first night in this world, all the cuts and bruises from fighting off Timberwolves and the odd manticore, before finding the place he now called home. He undid the first three buttons' of his coat and pulled out a small gold badge with his right claw, the metal clashing spectacularly with the three black claws holding it.
"Hard to believe it, eh, Faust?" The badge itself was formed from a set of wings, wrapped around a capital Q and F, the letters interlocking smoothly. "You put me through hell, literally." the badge gave no response. "Of course, you never answer, you only call..." Placing the badge back in its pocket, he rebut toned the coat and sat up, just in time to see Rainbow wobble outside, closely followed by a slightly larger stallion, notably much more sober then the mare. "And this time," the entity whispered, “you didn't have to...”
Leaping down from the sign, he landed in a crouch behind the stallion, right claws over his shoulder, loosely gripping the lance as he stalked towards the pair. The stallion didn't do anything, he even used a wing o help steady the drunken Dash at his side, talking to her and making small talk. Feeling unsure, the entity straightened, eyeing the pair with a small twinge of jealousy.
"Ok, maybe he isn't-" They walked pass an ally, and the stallion almost threw Rainbow Dash into it letting her hit the ground limply before charging after her with a wide smile, "-So bad..." Pulling his lance off his back as he ran after the stallion, the entity dropped the illusion he'd been using, making him visible and audible to everything.
He leveled the tip of his lance with the back of the stallions head and hissing.
"What the?" Turning, the stallion saw his foe and yelped, jumping over Dash and putting the cloud wall of the dead end at his back. "What in Tartarus are, you freak?!"
"I'm a bodyguard," the entity said, his voice changing to a deep baritone, echoing off the walls and drawing the attention of passerby and creating a small audience, "And you just attacked, and were probably about kidnap, my charge."
"Kidnap?" The stallion flared his wings, angling them to face the entity, "Why didn't I think of that?" He moved closer to Dash, almost close enough to grab her. "Here i was, about to tap that and leave it behind!"
The entity moved the lance and inch to the right, his expression hardening as he felt a surge of anger. The stallion, unaware of what he had gotten himself into, reached out wrap an arm around Dash's neck and fly off with her. He looked up in time to see the entity lunge forward, the lance growing larger as the stalions eyes went wide.
"No! Im sorry! I'll-!"
A crack echoed through the alley and into the street, sending the crowd of onlookers screaming for the guard.
The entity wobbled, a sudden feeling of nausea causing his vision to blur and refocus. Turning his head, he looked at the stallions still twitching body over his left shoulder, minus a large portion of body's head, and then looked at his lance, embedded about a foot into the wall and covered in blood and scraps of greymatter. He backed up, letting his weapon stay in the wall. He turned and walked towards the corpse, his vision turning blurry and fire filling his veins as he stood next to the body, watching as the blue and rainbow blur stirred and raised what was either a wing or her head, before screaming.
Why do I feel like a-
He didn't feel the guards tackle him; he just noticed that the sky and cloud floor switched places, and the pool of vomit next to his face.
Wait... of...bucking......course'.
And with that, he blacked out, falling into a dreamless sleep.
Well, This Can't get any Worse, Right?
Chapter Three
Present day, Cloudsdale Guard Outpost Number 4, Holding Cells'.
The closest thing the inmates could think of was a Diamond dog, but the being sitting on the bench obviously wasn't one.
His head was that of a white-orange stallion, with rams’ horns, curled maybe halfway to the base, bat-like ears, a ragged, oily mane, and yellow eyes. The stallions' upper-torso and withers' were covered in flat plates of midnight blue metal, two ridges surounding a hemisphere of metal over his collarbones and sternum, and wrapping around to his back making a wide diamond shaped plate, with short, pleated rectangular plates laid against his back, pointing at the ground, colored a bright yellow, and slanted at the ends. His lower legs resembled his torso, the outside of his hock down seamlessly melded into the metal that coated the limb to the ankle, made of black slats, almost like a pinecone, and ending in silver, cloven hooves. His tail and mane resembled oil in appearance. His arms were almost normal, except for the three-clawed hands that took the place of hooves.
And every pony in the cell stayed as far away as possible. He ignored them, instead watching his hands, still blurry hours later, and he wasn't quite sure why, despite the outpost's medic examining him. It cost a random pony his life, even though he would have raped Rainbow Dash.
Hell, who in Creation am I fooling..? Sighing he closed his eyes and leaned against the bars to his right, the metal scrapping against his pauldron. He would've run off right after I charged...
Grumbling he stood up, wobbling slightly, and stumbled over to a sink somehow bolted into the opposite wall. He fumbled with the faucet before getting a steady flow of water, and began to wash his face.
"Hey."
Facing the ponies he responded with a grunt, water dripping from his face, and watched as a larger Pegasus moved from the group, walking up to him.
The inmate was about five inches from looking him in the eyes.
"What did you do to get in here?"
"I killed a rapist," he deadpanned, "And I think I may be poisoned..."
As expected, murder had the same effect on the ponies as a window would have on a bird flying at high speed. The inmate backed away and chuckled nervously, before moving to the back of the group. Turning back to the sink, he put his forehead against the wall. With a deliberate slowness, he drew his head back, the inmates watching with baited breath, and slammed his skull into the cloud, eliciting a clang as he hit metal underneath the soft material. Then he did it again, and again, and again.
Eventually, he settled into a steady pace, hitting the wall every three seconds.
"Hey! Stop that!"
"Hold on," he stopped mid-swing, looked at the guard at the cell door, and then slammed his skull into the wall even harder, making the metal surface underneath scream in protest as a dent formed from the impact, "O.K. I'm done."
The guard was not amused, and glared at the offending creature before unlocking the cell and opening the door.
"You have visitor's."
"Who?"
"Princess Twilight Sparkle and a group of her friends."
"...Of course..."
He was led into another room, manacles holding his claws together, with a small table with a cup of coffee and a small white pill sitting on a napkin, and two chairs.
"Take a seat."
The guard undid the manacles and left, leaving him to take a seat, and take the cup. Picking up the pill, he noticed the napkin had a distinctive style of writing on it.
"'For alcohol poisoning'..." He read, popping the pill into his mouth, and downing the coffee in one gulp. "Go figure. I can kill a manticore bare-handed, but I can't drink..."
After few minutes, another pony walked in, a lavender Alicorn, and his vision cleared completely. She closed the door after another, familiar, Pegasus trotted in, eyeing the creature nervously. He nodded at them, and waved at the other chair, to which they shook their heads.
"...So..." he looked between the two, noting with a bit of regret that Rainbow dash was shivering almost imperceptibly, "...I'm sorry, by the way..."
The two looked confused, until Rainbow responded, her voice confident though it carried fear. Once again, he felt a pang of regret, now tinged with a bit of guilt.
"Why..?"
"...For not being faster..." he looked at her, and held out the napkin, the text facing her, "..And not stopping him earlier."
"You mean the stallion?" Twilight's voice held a stern tone, but was uncertain, "The one you killed?"
"Yes."
"You were planning to kill him then?"
"No..." he shook his head and slid the napkin towards her, "Your friend was right Twilight." she picked the napkin up with her magic, reading the message before turning her head, looking at Rainbow Dash, who looked at the ground, embarrassment in her eyes. "I apparently can't drink alcohol, and I unfortunately had a rather strong drink before I confronted him."
"Why did you attack him, if I may ask?"
"...It's my job..."
"What?"
"It's my job." He didn't let Twilight ask the next question, instead continuing from there. "I was brought here to guard an important part of this world, and he threatened one of my charges." He let his head drop, looking at the table. "I couldn't let him hurt Rainbow Dash..."
"How long have you been following the Element Bearers?"
"Five years, give or take a week."
"Who hired you?"
"You're going to be more specific, right?"
"Fine. Who hired you to watch us?"
"I can't give you the name, not unless Celestia and Luna are present." Twilight opened her mouth to correct him. "I don't care much for titles, even my own mean nothing outside of politics."
"Then you won't tell us?"
"No." He nodded to Rainbow. "I owe my benefactor more then you know, and I would rather not break one of the few rules I was given."
"So what can you tell us?"
"Any basic information, such as height, weight, name and the like." He shrugged. "I don't see a point in lying, and I didn't plan on leaving on my own power."
"You could get out of the guard post?"
"Easily, I just need to have people not looking at me, then I would disappear."
"Is that how you followed me?" Rainbow asked, her bravado having remained, “I want to know, or is that outside of basic information?"
"No, it's not."
"Well, say it then!"
"A perception barrier, mixed with a teleportation spell."
Both mares were silent, Twilight because of the power required for a spell that dispersed and Rainbow because she had no idea what was just said.
"So that explains..."
"Every odd little thing that has been knocked over or put in the wrong place. I know, I'm well aware of how many times I've bungled things up."
"Ok then," Twilight's horn lit and a small notebook and pen popped into existence next to her head. He felt his stomach drop down through the cloud floor and hit the ground miles away in an instant, "Now for the actual questions!"
Oh no...
Rainbow felt bad for Bone Wrecker, as the creature called himself. After the first thirty or so questions, he'd started twitching. That was three hours ago.
After another thirty, Rainbow had left, walking into the adjacent room where her friends were and sat with the group. They'd been arguing over Bone Wreckers' stalker like tendencies, and nopony was very happy at being followed for years.
"Ah'm tellin yah, we should let him go ta jail." Applejack was particularly miffed, mostly because he had admitted to stealing a few apples over the time he'd been watching them. "He's a thief and a liar, not to mention he killed somepony!"
"But he did it to help Dashie!" Pinkie was on the fence, if only because he'd helped somepony by hurting somepony else, "And what would do we if she'd been hurt?"
"That don't change the fact that he-"
Rainbow Dash spoke up, voicing her own opinion.
"Aj, he didn't mean to kill that stallion," She continued, cutting Applejack off, "Plus he's helped us out more than once."
"Applejack, I have to agree with Rainbow on this," Rarity was looking at Bone Wreckers' coat, catching details and small imperfections in the cloth, "From what we know, he had intended to scare the stallion off, not...kill...him."
"But he did, and he shouldn't get off scot-free for something like that!"
Silence filled the room as Applejack turned and glared at the glass wall, her gaze centered on Bone Wrecker, who was head-butting the table as Twilight continued to fill out the notebook.
"...I-I don't think he's trying to..." Fluttershy was sitting on the far side of the room, and was avoiding looking at the others. "He didn't run when he could have..."
"What was that Shy'?"
"I-I said, he didn't run when he could have..."
"And that matter's why?"
"Shy's right Applejack." Rainbow punched Applejack's shoulder playfully with a small grin, "Besides, he did pay for those apples eventually."
"Ah know that..." Applejack huffed and crossed her arms. "I just don't trust 'em."
The door opened again and Twilight walked in, irritation visible on her face as she slammed the door with her magic, drawing the attention of the others. She took a deep breath and placed a hoof on her chest, then exhaled as she extended the arm.
"I'm guessing that it didn't go to well?"
"Actually, it did Dash." Twilight sighed, her horn glowing before a small pop signified the arrival of another person. "The problem is, as usual-"
"You're all in over your heads huh?" Spike smiled a little, then whipped out a quill and a piece of parchment, and bowed theatrically "Awaiting your dictation, Princess."
Dear Princess Celestia,
Recently, as the letter I sent to you yesterday stated, there was an incident involving Rainbow Dash and two stallions. It has come to my attention however, that one of them * is not** a pony.*
He stated that he was given the body he, well, uses for the task of guarding us, the Element bearers, and has been unwilling to give us the identity of his 'Benefactor' without having You, Princess Luna, Cadence and Discord present.
He has also stated that he was brought here to guard the Element Bearers', and that is why he was, as he put it, captured.
I would like to note that he has trouble digesting strong alcohols, and the results are the following: blurred vision, possibly due to disruption of the nerves rather than the brain, disrupted motor control, and a lack of conscious movement.
Please respond quickly,
Princess Twilight Sparkle.
"Got that Spike?"
"Yep," he rolled the parchment before burning it to ash, the particles dispersing, "And that's that."
"Ok then, now we wait."
"Twilight, darling, do you know what this material is?" Rarity was holding the coat out, the mare rather irked at not knowing something related to her trade, "It feels like silk, but... it's, well, to strong."
"Let me see it."
"Well, what is it?"
"I think it's...No, that's not possible..."
"What isn't possible?"
"It's either spun silver, or it's..." Twilight held it up in her magic, the silvery surface flaring as light hit it, "something I've never read about..."
"Yeah," Spike said, smiling at Twilight, "I don't think that is possible."
His comment earned a laugh from Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash, though Applejack and Rarity only smiled a little. Twilight blushed violently and stuttered out a half built reply before a sharp tapping sound made everypony jump. Looking at the glass wall, they saw Bone Wrecker facing them, his gaze seemingly piercing the one-way mirror and staring them down.
"I don't know if anyone can hear me, but," He scratched the base of his horns and chuckled, "I was wondering if I could get something to eat. I think I missed two day’s worth of meals at this point, so..."
He just smiled at the glass, showing wicked sharp teeth, canine to canine, and molars making up the back half.
"...Well, what do you think girls?"
"Starving him ain't exactly fair, besides," Rainbow smiled at the strange creature, who was now walking around the room in circles, making him rather less intimidating then he was earlier, "Murderer or not, I owe him one."
"Thanks for the sammich'."
"Welcome."
Two plates and two mugs of cider (non-alcoholic) sat on the table, between Rainbow Dash and Bone Wrecker, neither willing to talk. The food in question was a simple peanut butter and jelly, with a few daisies as well, and Bone Wrecker was genuinely thankful for the meal, although a few things kept him from enjoying Rainbows' company.
Do not hit on her, you'll end up getting mauled when they try to get at your past.
He took a bite out of his sandwich, avoiding eye contact with her, as though his life depended on it.
Hell, more than likely it did in a way.
"Hey, I got another question."
"Yeah?"
Please don't ask about-
"Why won't you look at me now?" She had a rather aggressive tone, as though to get a response out of anger. "Scared or something?"
...Might as well tell the truth, better now than later...Hopefully...
"...Yes, and with a good reason..."
"What?"
"...Are the others still on the other side of that glass?"
"I dunno, maybe," she shrugged, "but their probably getting lunch or something."
"..Ok, you are going to beat the ever-living-shit out of me after this, but I earned it," He finished his sandwich, and gulped, "I'm not from here, obviously, and where I'm from, this world was, well, a cartoon..."
"A cartoon?"
"Think a movie, but smaller, only twenty or so minutes long at a time, though one cartoon could have many twenty minute episodes..."
"Ok, so that matter's why?"
"...Rule Thirty Four."
"And that is..?"
"Well, to put it simply..." He gulped again, "You and the others were the main characters, so you had the most popularity, at least at the start." She smiled, obviously liking th idea of being famous without trying. "But that also means you six got the most abuse." Her smile dropped to a confused look. "Rule Thirty Four is this: if it exists, there is...porn...of it."
"What was that?"
“... Porn..."
"..."
"..."
"Let me guess, you were a big fan?"
"...Yes..."
"...Meh...”
You could hear a pin drop from a mile away, and Bone Wrecker's jaw actually hit the table as he almost flipped the table in his spastic twitch of shock. Rainbow didn't even look surprised, and she was even laughing at his expression.
"But, how...Why..?"
"Doesn't really surprise me." She shrugged before grabbing her mug and taking a drink. "Besides, I kinda like the idea."
“...Pinkie?”
“Pinkie.”
“...Ok, on a side note…” He coughed"...You like the fact that random alien life-forms across multiple dimension fornicate to images of you and your friends...?"
"To me, yeah, to them?" she took another drink, then hummed, "Weeelll, that's kinda their choice, though they probably won't be to happy about it."
"...I don't know whether I should hug you or try to kill myself..."
"Why?"
"One, they are going to kill me, or at the least Rarity, Applejack and Twilight will." He place his hand on his forehead, sighing as multiple scenarios' ran through his mind, "As for Pinkie, I have no idea how she'll take it, and Fluttershy..."
"...Yeah, that won't help your case..."
"I'm dead... or castrated...or both..."
Both of them remained silent, Rainbow because her slightly narcissistic tendencies had effectively been justified to one degree or another, and Bone Wrecker was moping about a rather painful mental image. Then it dawned on him, something that really should have been obvious if he was paying as much he should have.
"Why do you like the idea of Rule Thirty Four?"
"I like it when people think I look good. Plus," she blushed a little, her wings opening slightly as she shifted in her seat, "most stallions kinda ignore me..."
"...It's the hair isn't it?"
She nodded.
"As much as I hate to say it, if you let Rarity take a go at you, it would really help in that department."
"How's that?" she scowled, shuddering at the thought of dress's and bows, "All it'll do is-"
"Make you less intimidating." Bone Wrecker moved cautiously, grabbing his own mug and gulping half of it down in an attempt to calm his still frazzled nerves. "Most stallions' don't like it when thier scared by the wom-Sorry, mare-their dating."
"What about athletes?"
"..Soarin?"
"How did-"
"He was a mentioned background character and was often paired with you in fan art." He shrugged. "I honestly couldn't tell you, he wasn't really shown all too often in the show."
"...Who was your favorite?"
"Hm?"
"Out of the six of us, who was your favorite?"
"Well, honestly?" He smiled at her, the sad expression giving her a good idea of whom, "It was you."
"You don't seem like my type."
"Hardly," he snorted, "I was an inventor, an architect, a builder!" His elation was evident, his voice growing louder as he spoke. "I had an empire of stores and factories at my command, and I’d done it on my own power!" He was smiling and genuinely happy, his gestures wild and filled with joy, but then his smile fell, and he seemed to lose a bit of the life that was present just seconds ago. "...But like a good failure, I lost everything trying to help the one person who cared about me..." He laughed a little. “That why it was you. No matter what you did, you succeeded, you won… You were both my inspiration and my…attraction
"Who?" Rainbow was surprised at the sudden shift in personality, eerily reminded of Pinkie when she was depressed. "Was it a friend?"
"I considered her my daughter, even though she wasn't flesh and blood..." He sighed, and crossed his arms on the table. "I built her, and brought her to life by complete luck." He smiled at a few memories, a single tear falling from his left eye. "No one cared about me. my family wanted money...my workers hated me for my wealth, despite me literally giving away thousands of dollars every year to help them." He huffed, burying his head in his arms. "Then she was born, and I finally had a friend. Somepony that I could call family ..."
Rainbow lifted an arm and put a forehoof on Bone Wreckers' shoulder, unsure of how to respond.
"I don't know what to say..."
"You don't have to say anything." He lifted his head enough to look at her. "When you leave, can you turn the light off? I think it's almost midnight again, right..?"
"Yeah, I will."
She turned and walked to the door, and was about to leave when Bone Wrecker spoke up, barely a whisper.
"Right pocket, say 'Life tis' such a beautiful melody'. Just be sure to put it back..."
With that Rainbow Dash walked out, closing the door. She looked around in the hallway, before finding a small switch to the left of the door, and flipped it.
Walking into the other room, she found her friends arguing and bickering, until she closed the door. Rarity, Applejack, and Twilight glared at her, while Pinkie and Fluttershy both were blushing, turning their faces a vivid red. Ignoring them, she found Bone Wreckers coat and undid the buttons, looking at the right sides lining.
"What are yah doing with that...Things coat?" Applejacks voice had quite a bit of venom in it, and it didn't go unnoticed. "Not like a pervert like that could have-"
"Aj. Stop." Rainbow squinted at the lining, finding a small seam. "I know you don't like him, and probably hate him, but let’s wait to see what the Princess's do."
"And why's that?"
"He doesn't seem bad." She cut off her orange friend before she could voice her protest. "He had all the chances possible to do something to us, and he didn't," she smirked at Applejack, the grin having a wicked feel to it, "and let's not forget that magazine you were ranting about when you went digging through the barn."
At that, Applejack joined the ranks of Pinkie and Fluttershy, her face turning a dark crimson as she stuttered out an unintelligible reply, though the name 'Big McIntosh' was clearly audible.
"Really Rainbow!" Rarity had a slightly surprised look on her face, and was doing her best not to laugh, "Was that necessary?!"
"Give me a second and we'll find out..." Rainbow held the coat up and took a breath, "Life tis’ such-" the seam glowed, forming into a small pouch, still sealed, "a beautiful melody..."
The seam opened, a locket, about the size of a pocket watch, fell out, bouncing on the cloud floor. Setting the coat down with care, Rainbow picked up the locket, pressing a small button on the side. With a small CLICK the locket opened, revealing a picture of a pale skinned human with black hair, a coat and sunglasses, exactly like the ones now in their possession, as well as armor on his right forearm and hand, as well as a young, pure-white Pegasus filly with purple eyes and a straight, snow white mane and tail, both of them smiling at the camera with one arm around the other. A small cake with candles reading thirty one marked the occasion as the humans' birthday. But it was the engraving on the other side that caught Rainbows' eyes, the rose colored orbs growing wide at the message.
"Rainbow, dear?" Rarity looked over her friend’s shoulder, "What is-" she stopped when she saw the picture. "Oh my..."
"Somepony mind tellin' the rest of us what it is?'
"Dad," Rainbow began to read, squinting at the tiny engravings', "You made me by accident, but cared for me when I was small, as though I was your flesh and blood...
You fought for me when others said I was an abomination, and proved them wrong...
Even now, as you work day and night on all the toys and games you make and the company you made against everyone's expectations, you still try to spend time with me, and make me smile and laugh.
From, Your Daughter, Blank Melody, Pony Artificial Intelligence, Pegasus model, Mark 0, Singer and Musician.
P.S. Thank you dad! For everything!"
"His daughter was..." Applejack looked at the image, uncertainty plain in her eyes, "But she..."
"She was a golem," Twilight said, her voice almost inaudible, "This 'Blank Melody' was a living machine..."
"But then she wasn't real..."
"No." Rainbow shook her head, closing the locket before returning it to its resting place. "You said golems had souls, right Twilight?" The Alicorn nodded. "What would happen if he made a toy filly, like a stuffed animal, and it somehow got a soul?"
"I don't know..." She put a forehoof to her muzzled, closing her eyes as she went through her mind for an answer. "It could create a new life, and make the body more...alive than normal, since there would be so much energy compared to somepony who'd died already..."
She opened her eyes, and looked at the darkened room through the glass, Spike belching out a scroll just as she started to speak.
"Heh, sorry Twi'. I'll let you finish..."
"Thank you Spike." She took the letter in her magic and continued. "He would have made a pony, a living entity, with a body made of non-living material..." She opened the letter and read the single sentence written upon it's surface. "Girls, we need to go to Canterlot, and he's coming with us..."
Well, This Can't get any Worse, Right?
Chapter Four
Cloudsdale Train Station
The transport sent from Canterlot was more akin to a passenger train, even going so far as to be painted a bright red (rather than the typical pink or powder blue). Inside the car wash just as ornate, even the chair that bone wrecker was sitting in was comfortable.
The Element Bearers and the two assigned guards sat in benches lined up against the wall, keeping to themselves, with the occasional comment from Bone Wrecker, whose chair was bolted down in the center of the car. His lance was also in the room, stored inside a crate, although the weapon wouldn't have been any use in such an enclosed space.
"Hey!" Pinkie Pie appeared, standing on the back of his chair and looking at Bone Wrecker upside down, "I gotta question about your lance-thingy!"
"Yes?"
"Why does it have that spiral around it?" She jumped, landing with a squeak in front of him, her butt in the air as she turned around and Bone Wrecker looked up, avoiding her tush and an awkward situation, "It kinda looks like a drill..."
"It is a drill." He looked at her once she turned to face him, the others in the car noting his aversion to her flank with a few snickers and eye-rolls. "When I intend to kill or maim my targets, I spin the lance right before it hits, so it pulls itself into them with the shank's edging." He shrugged. "It makes a cleaner stab, so it comes out of the person easier."
"That's really cool!" Pinkie bounced around, his eyes following her, and looking rather confused. "That means that you can take out multiple targets without it getting stuck in a corpse, and you can tunnel through rock!"
"Not really." He chuckled, unsure of weather the mare was serious or not. "Unless I add a motor or something, it wouldn't hit hard enough to bore through stone."
"So you use a weapon meant to kill, regardless," Twilight had a grim look on her face, "Yet you say that you don't kill."
"No, it's meant to guard and protect at the cost of life." Bone Wrecker sighed and bent over, using his claws to scratch the base of his horns. "I earned my name by breaking bones, not killing everything I fought."
Rainbow yawned, stretching like a cat, before lying down on the bench.
"...I'm going to bed..."
"Yeah," Twilight looked at the sky outside, noting how dark it had become, "I think we should all get some rest." She looked at the guards, who left the room. "Goodnight."
"Night."
"Sweet Dreams everypony!"
"Meh..."
"Same to you, Twilight Sparkle." Bone Wrecker laid his head against the back of his chair and closed his eyes'. "Till' the morning sun rises..."
Canterlot, Ten Hours' After Departure, 10:00 am.
The train slowed to a stop, steam rising as the massive vehicle entered the station. With a click, the doors opened and the six mares, one dragon, two guards and one unidentified being, now wearing a black visor over his eyes, trotted and walked out, making a beeline for a chariot waiting for them.
"I don't think that's going to work to well." Bone Wrecker said, looking at the vehicle cautiously as the crate was loaded onto it. "I don't think that thing'll hold all of our weight."
"You shouldn't weigh that much, dear."
"I weigh about two-thirty-eight."
"So?" Rainbow floated around the group, lazily looping around above their heads. "You look like a twig!"
"Add all of us together, than talk to me about it."
All of them got on, waiting on the largest member of the group, who gingerly put a foot on the frail looking chariot before taking a breath. With a quick hop, Bone Wrecker crouched in the center of the group, tensed and waiting for something to break.
"See?" Applejack grunted, the aggressive tone still present, "It aint gonna-"
Crack! Snap!
The wheels fell to the ground as the axle snapped in half, the chariot hitting the cobblestone with a thud.
"-break..."
"I told y-"
"Don't finish that, you varmint."
With that subtle message to be quiet, they got off the ruined chariot and began the trek to the castle on hoof (and wing in Rainbow's case).
Rarity took it rather well, despite having to walk two miles to the castle, and pointed out different stalls in the market as they passed through, Twilight keeping her wings folded against her body to limit the attention from the crowds. It didn't make that much of a difference, since Bone Wrecker and the two guards stuck out like a phoenix sitting with a flock of pigeons.
"Twi?"
"Yes?"
"Ah think we should hurry up." Applejack was well aware of the stares from the crowds. "ah don't like the looks we're getting’ from those ponies."
"Well, I can't teleport all of us, and I don't want to leave him with Rook and Aegis, no offense.
"None taken Princess." The female guard, a Unicorn going by the name Gold Rook. "Though you are right, teleporting all of us would be rather difficult..."
"I could do it."
The group stared at Bone Wrecker, confused glances on their faces.
"And how would you do that?" Twilight was a little miffed at him, thinking he was stronger than an Alicorn. "Some kind of super spell?"
"No, and I would like to be given the minimal respect I deserve for saving your plot multiple times."
"Ignoring the rude language, how do you intend to get all of us to the castle?"
Holding up his claws, he opened them, the talons glowing as he traced a circle in the air, then bisected it vertically, causing the world around the group to distort and twist, forming into the guard barracks' courtyard.
"Like that." He let his arms drop and started chuckling at the shocked looks on the ponies faces. "My magic isn't as Order-based as yours is, Twilight, it's more like Chaos magic."
"You mean like Discord's?"
Rook and Aegis, the two guards' assigned to the group, stepped away from Bone Wrecker, being well acquainted with the reformed gods' abilities.
"In a sense, yes." The group started walking again, making a beeline through the startled recruits who'd been training when they appeared. "However, it's a bit more controlled, so I don’t have as much feedback as he does."
Rainbow Dash landed and joined the group on the ground as they entered the castle proper, and voiced a question.
"What do you mean?"
"Discord is made of magic. His entire being, as a Draconequus is unstable, even though it is organic." Bone Wrecker followed the group to a set of golden doors and waited as Twilight knocked. "When he uses his magic, he uses a bit of himself and the feedback from the process is what makes his actions as chaotic as they seem to be."
The doors opened slowly, the hinges silent. The throne room had changed very little, the white marble floor, the red carpet, the stained glass windows; they were the same as all the other times the six mares had visited.
"Cadence!"
Twilight ran to her old foalsitter, who in turn trotted down the steps of her throne with her husband at her side, and met her halfway, before hugging their respective sister-in-law.
"It's good to see you Twilight!" Cadence smiled as her husband joined the group. "How have you been?"
"I've been good, all things considered..." Twilight said, opening her wings slightly, "What about you and Shinning?"
"Busy." The group moved towards a large, circular, crystalline table, were Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, Discord, and Shinning Armor were sitting. "The Empires' a bit...out dated," Cadence winced, "We've been reforming everything from public relations to the building code's..."
"Is there anything I could do to help?"
"Not at the moment."
With that, they all found a seat, the Princess's sitting at the head of the table, side by side, with Cadence and Shinning sitting to their left, and Discord and Twilight on their right while the other five Element Bearer's chose to sit next to Twilight.
Aegis, Rook and Bone Wrecker sat opposite of the Royal Sisters'.
"Welcome to Canterlot, Knight." Celestia smiled at Bone Wrecker's shocked expression. "It has been a long time since I've seen one of you."
"Princess, you know what he is?" Twilight said, ignoring the dancing butterflies Discord had made.
"Of course," Luna tipped her head at Bone Wrecker. His response was to open and close his mouth like a fish out of water, "our mother always had her aids in this world, Twilight Sparkle. You just need to know what to look for."
"Your mother?"
"Celly, as much as I'm enjoying the confusion," Discord kept a neutral expression, "I do believe it's time we explain..."
"You being the voice of reason, Discord?" Celestia chuckled, making the eldritch god sigh in annoyance, "I do agree however. Would you like to do the honors?"
"Why not?" Discord floated into the air, the crate holding Bone Wreckers' lance sprouting spider legs and walking over to him before spitting the weapon out."Wow, that’s fancy !"
The lance was made up of a three foot long, thin cone, a spiral blade giving it a drill like appearance, the two foot grip, complete with a bronze knuckle guard, the shaft ending in three silver Pegasi, their lower halves replaced by a smooth sphere of metal, their wings flared and held back to back as they bent their heads' low and holding their arms close to their barrels.
"So that's it." Discord let the lance fall, the weapon sinking a full foot into the marble floor with a dull thunk. "Sorry about that, but I know which knight he is."
"And that is?"
"The Eastern Knight, Failure incarnate, wielding the blade, or lance in this case, of Redemption." Discord shrugged. "Explains how he ended up killing some random stallion, he is made to fail at his task every now and then.
"Thanks for the compliment." Bone Wrecker deadpanned.
"Your welcome!"
"Discord, don't antagonize him."
With a huff, Discord teleported back to his seat, while Twilight spoke to Celestia.
"Why aren't you mad at him?"
"Twilight, would you be mad at a guard for doing his job?"
"No."
"Then you can't be mad at him for doing his." Celestia motioned to Aegis and Rook with a hoof. "If you would please remove the manacles he is a guest, not a prisoner."
The two guards lit their horns and the manacles' clicked open, falling to the table with a clack.
"How many times have you aided them?" Celestia said her tone neutral.
"Depends on whom." He put a clawed hand to his chin and hummed. "Let’s see...Applejack: Thirteen times I've moved her out of her barns' way when it collapsed, twice I’ve punted a manticore out of her orchards... Twilight: not much actually, though that’s because she never really went anywhere dangerous...Pinkie: nothing. I don't think Discord could beat her in a fair fight. Rarity: Same as Applejack, minus the barn, and add keeping her from getting enslaved by Diamond dogs, despite the fact that she was taking gems from their land without their permission."
"Wait." Rarity said, confusion plain in her voice, "What do you mean by 'their land'?"
"You've been stealing from them." he snorted, "The entire quarry and the surrounding forest belongs to them by a treaty made roughly sixty three years ago."
"So...I've...been..." Rarity trailed off as she realized how much she had taken from them over the years, leaving Bone Wrecker to continue.
"For Fluttershy, a few saves here and there, nothing to major. Rainbows' actually been the most time consuming, though that’s mostly because of her training."
"What do you mean by that?"
"How many crashes have you survived that you shouldn't have been able to?"
"Uh...thirty...no...” She crossed her arms and huffed. "Give me a second..."
Bone Wrecker gave her a few seconds then continued.
"I'll make things easy. Fifty five, not counting minor accidents here and there." he looked back to Celestia and continued, "And multiple assists during Discords' release, though that was mainly so she wouldn't get lost...The Gala, though that one affected everyone... The Changeling's were out of my jurisdiction, and I actually agreed with the Queens' actions, though her attitude could use some work."
"You agree with what she did?"
"Aye." He gave a slight glare at Cadence who had a disgusted look on her muzzle. "Starving to death, losing your land to another race with no way to bargain, and having your son hung by an angry mob will make someone vindictive, especially when you consider how little you all have to deal with in your lives compared to them, Royal Sisters and Deity of Chaos excluded."
All the ponies present started to object, until Discord raised a paw and silenced them, his usual smile replaced by a grimace for a split second.
"That is a discussion for a later date, Celestia." Discord was smiling sadly as he faced the Alicorn, "I do believe that will come into play later on..."
"As do I." Sighing, Celestia glanced at Cadence and Twilight, both still holding an aggresive posture. "Be still, we can discus this later.
Luna voiced the next question.
"Who gave you your weapon, if I may?"
"No one, I took it from a demon who preyed on the soul and flesh of children." He motioned to the lance. "It didn't belong to him in the first place, and the actual owner is long dead, so I kept it as my own."
"So Mother let you keep it?"
"Yes."
"Not to interrupt, but I do believe we need to wrap things up soon." Discord was holding a miniature grandfather clock in his paw, eying the tiny hands, "I think that we have a few things to settle before the night."
“That we do..." Celestia nodded, “First, your sentence, to be dealt with, is simple. You are to continue your duties, as a guardian."
“I agree.”
“You must also find lodging with one of the Element Bearers, as I doubt you would return if you were to leave.”
"...Ok, but who would-"
"You can bunk with me." Rainbow said, ignoring the glances from the others, a cocky grin on her muzzle. "I gotta spare room with nothing in it, so you can use it."
Once again, he was unsure whether to hug the blue pony, or hurt his skull in some way.
"...Thank you."
"Good." Celestia lit her horn, lifting the lance and floating it to Bone Wrecker, the tip still coated in dried blood, while his coat was given to him by Rarity, "Your belongings will be returned to you, though any attempt to use them against the ponies of Equestria will end with a fittting sentence."
Nodding, Bone Wrecker put his coat back on, sliding the panels on his back through slits in the back, and then grabbed the lances' grip. Holding it in front of him, he gave it a once over, making suree nothing was bent or warped. With a practiced spin, he laid it across his back before tilting it to his right, two clips on the back of the coat hooking onto the weapon just above the knuckle guard and just above the cone, leaving the grip within arm’s reach, and positioning the Pegasi up and to the right of his head.
"Understandable, and perfectly reasonable, Princess"
"Then this meeting is complete." Everyone stood up, and waited. "Transport to Ponyville will be provided for you and the others tomorrow morning, Twilight."
"Thank you, Prin-" Twilight caught herself and smiled sheepishly, "Thank you, Celestia."
With that, they left the room, leaving behind Luna, Celestia, and Discord.
"Well," Discord drolled, a cigar and armchair appearing for him, "This is definitely going to be fun!"
Underneath Foal Mountain, Unmapped Cave System.
The darkness had held for years, leaving the great war machines hidden from the surface-dwelling ponies, and the metal lining the walls keeping other races out. Amongst them was a tall, golden statue of a unicorn, laying upon a silver throne bedecked with cables and wires', a small, seven pointed crown mounted to its head. Each strand of its mane was a miniscule gold chain, each individual link etched with runes and seals. The platinum and silver plates that made up its skin gleamed in the darkness, radiating light from within, illuminating a small hemisphere of the room it watched over.
A small figure, hyena like in shape, moved into the light, bone plates obscuring any features of its face.
"Heh heh heh, you almost did it, Mr. Plate!" it laughed in a sickly breathless voice, sludge dripping from its mouth as it made its way to the statue. "You almost escaped me... but you forgot one thing." The creature melted, the bone plates becoming hands and jagged teeth as sludge formed into a short, slug like form with multiple tendrils supporting its rearing body. "I. AM. EVERWHERE!" it bellowed, the room suddenly full of blue fire, showing hundreds of pony like figures, and even a few dragon's, hidden in alcoves and shelves. "And I expect payment," The jagged teeth arced into a smile, sludge dripping from its gums, "With. Interest...
It snapped its fingers, sending power into the decrepit frames and machinery, and with groans of pain and fear, the golems awoke, their once proud leader still dormant in front of the monstrosity that had roused them from their slumber. It waved a hand, and the figures marched forward, forming ranks behind it as the higher alcoves stirred, heavy forms dropping to the floor and shattering the stone under their weight.
"Enough!" With another snap, the Golems were silenced, their minds overridden and returned to a sleeping stat, though their bodies awaited orders. "You will watch your savior die, truly, for the last time!"
It raised an arm and slammed it onto the golden figure, sending it crashing to the ground, small bits of metal falling from its shell. It growled, and raised its bony hands, forming two jagged war hammers, and slamming down into the figure again and again, crushing the once regal Gold Plate into nothing but a gold plate, vaguely shaped like a pony. It smiled and pried the flattened figure, the light fading from its form, and tossed it at a Diamond Dog Golem, giving but one order.
"Forge your king a CROWN !"
As the Golem walked away, the creature laughed, the sound violent and sickening, till the fires faded into darkness, and its armies eyes stared into the shadows, unseeing, unknowing, screaming in pain and sorrow.