Chapters Prologue - When Two Worlds Collide
PROLOGUE - When Two Worlds Collide
“Unless we remember, we cannot understand.”
This is my motto, and it is the very reason why I am writing this journal. Oh, well. Journal. It's hard to call that a journal, but it's mostly like it anyway.
Now, you might not understand what was the point in writing a journal. The answer is quite simple: I needed it to avoid losing my mental sanity. Because after the time they spent in Equestria, I know that all the other Chess Pieces changed... They forgot their old names, their families, their past lives. And then, they forgot who they were, what they were. In the end, most became mad, violent. They became beasts because they gradually lost their humanity; and I don't want to go through the same changes.
We face many dangers here; but the most deadly one is within ourselves. If we forget who we are, then we are doomed to fail. Because when we forget who we are, we become what those responsible for our coming want us to be: mindless pawns in a game of death and suffering, where universes are at stake.
We humans have survived only thanks to our ability to understand there is a box, and then to think outside that box.
If we lose this ability, we lose everything.
This is why I have to remember.
Date: 14th of August 2013. Location: Off the coast of Naples; or Napoli, as its inhabitants call it.
I rose to consciousness… Reluctantly, to say the least. As well as fairly angry. It looked like it was a bit later than I thought: the sun was setting.
Having a nap every now and then is nice, when you’re all alone to drive such a big boat. I really needed a longer sleep, but it was my fault if I didn't get the sleep I needed. I should have known better than to allow a group of brainless bimbos on my yacht. Then again, my friends insisted on letting them come. How could I say no?
Careful not to avert them of my rageful glaring, I slowly turned my head on its side and looked at the two harpies who woke me up with their unbearable, cackling laughter. They both had a rather tanned skin, nigh-transparent bikinis, and hair that could rival in paleness with that of Wraith queens. They embodied everything I could despise in a woman: stupidity, vanity and deceit. They would be the perfect candidates for a Darwin Prize, and I would be the happiest man in the world if they earned that prize.
The smiling faces of my two best buddies indicated that they had a good time here. I seemed to be the only one bothered by the two girls; and I had other tasks at hand. There was no point in dwelling on these girls' despicable nature.
Discretely, I strolled to the commander's cabin. Something unusual caught my eye before I opened the heavy iron door. Through my ultraviolet-proof sunglasses, I saw the sun swell.
[“What the hell? Is it an optical effect?”]
I squinted to get a better look at it, and after a few minutes of killing my eyes, I really was sure that the sun was growing bigger.
If the sun grew bigger, that could only mean two things: either it was exploding, as it was supposed to do in about four or five billions of years, which would have been illogical but possible if an alien species put a highly sophisticated bomb inside it; or the Earth was moving towards the sun at an alarming speed. Needless to say, in both cases, we were all fried.
I told my friends about our impending doom from the commander’s cabin; but I saw them remain unfazed by my announcement through the speaker system.
[“Are they on drugs or what?”] I thought, gritting my teeth in anger. [“I swear, if I catch one of these bitches with the smallest hint of illegal substance on them, I’ll make them regret it. Not THIS on MY boat.”]
I ran to the resting area, where my friends were lying down in deck chairs. They didn’t seem wasted or high, but suddenly unfamiliar. Their faces were unknown to me, and their voice didn't sound right. I couldn’t quite tell what was wrong with them.
[“Who are these guys exactly?”]
While the spiky question laid its claws on my mind, I felt a hot gust of wind coming from the west. When I looked at where it came from, I saw Naples and everything around it disappear in a gigantic wall of flames that vaporized everything in its path.
“Oh, merde."
The sky was red and filled with fire.
Half a second later, I looked at my friends again. I knew who they were.
The first one had half of his face torn off, and underneath the skin, a metallic architecture could be seen. The fire reflected in its crevices, and gave his face a red complexion that only accentuated his apocalyptic looks. My other friend, on the other hand, was perfectly human. He was a jovial little man. Bald, fat and old, but happy nonetheless. His chair was surrounded by ham, and sometimes he picked a few slices before swallowing them without even masticating.
My friends were Terminator and Monsieur Batignole, and they were with me on a yacht I owned . Something was afoot.
As I came to this realization, their skin started to redden. But before getting entirely red, they only became pinker than usual. At that moment, both of my friends turned their heads instantly towards me, causing their bones to snap and crack. I heard both of them shout, using Pinkie Pie’s monstrous “Pinkie Promise broken” voice: “Twitchy twitchy twitchy twitch!”
This marked the beginning of the end. Their skin finally turned red and started to melt right in front of me. It slowly fell on the boat’s main deck, before flowing into the ocean with gurgling noises, pushed away by the wind.
In the meantime, their skeletons kept smiling at me, until their charred bones crumbled away in the wind like hundreds of black confettis.
I felt a burning sensation in my forearms and hands, and lifted them in front of my eyes. They were melting too... And, after all the flesh was gone, they changed into crispy charcoal as well before going away with the wind.
Finally, my sunglasses melted, the liquid plastic obscuring my eyes with pain. But, even though I became blind, I still could see the sun's light for a few moments.
Everything suddenly went black. But I was not dead yet. Before that, everything went white, then black, then white again two times in a row. More or less.
And, at last, I could rest in peace.
Date: 14th of August 2013. Location: Southern France, somehow close to a major city.
When the sun finished its daily warm-up and really started dehydrating the elderly, the mobile phone sitting on my nightstand decided it was time to ring.
A few seconds later, a synth playing a catchy tune woke me up, before letting a guitar and a battery take the lead. The 69 Eyes, like they did every morning, woke me up with one of my favourite songs.
Another day started in the life of Marc Lemoine... The life I had before. At that moment, I hated waking up. Dreams like this were too weird to be abruptly interrupted. They were the necessary nonsensical pause of a brain that saw too much boring things during the day and needed to relax.
As usual, the few minuscule sun beams coming through the cracks of my automated window shutters prevented me from sleeping again. [“Bah. Impossible to get back to sleep anyway. Might as well wake up quickly,”] I thought to myself.
I kept my eyes and mouth shut, and tried to shut the alarm off without having to look at it. By that time, it had gotten really loud; and I didn’t like that. Not that I mind loud music… But every damned phone on this planet has really crappy speakers. Mine wasn’t an exception, especially when roaring at maximum volume.
I managed to get a hold of the phone and flipped the leather casing open, all that without putting my fingers on my glasses again. My hands were inaccurate and somehow numb, since I only woke up about a minute ago; so I had a hard time finding the “On” button to light the screen up and to press the “Stop” button.
The next step was the most painful of all. I had to open the shutters.
I cringed in advance, knowing what was about to happen. As I pressed the “up” button on the shutter’s remote, the blinding sunlight hurt my eyes, even though they were closed and didn't face the window. It was akin to the feeling I had a few seconds before, in that stupid dream, when my eyes burned. Luckily, in the real world, my arms didn’t melt so I could hide my eyes with my hands.
Once my eyes were accustomed to the light, I rubbed them with my fingers. They both were about as wet as raisins powdered with sand. [“Tsk. As usual. Fuck you, eyes. I’ll replace you with cybernetic eyes in 2027,”] I thought while imagining the future technological developments of humanity.
Well, not that I wanted to look like Gunther Hermann, but I really would have liked to add some things to my body.
Putting that thought in a secluded corner of my brain, I reached for the blue flacon I kept on my nightstand. I forced one of my eyelids open with my fingers, before pouring some of the flacon’s content on my eye. It felt horrible, and I couldn’t even prevent my eyelashes from shutting themselves, slipping under my fingers; but at least I could open that eye without feeling like it was covered in paper.
I did the same for the other eye, put my glasses on, and headed to the adjoining room.
The same way it did every other day, what I saw depressed me. There was a man, facing me through a glass panel. It was me, and at the same time, I couldn’t believe I was like this.
He was two meters tall, to be accurate. Or six feet seven inches, if you prefer. He had black hair, bent randomly by his pillows over the night; oh-so-original brown eyes with dark circles under them; and a severe case of procrastination that led him to have a consistent beard stubble.
Everyone always told him he was very muscular, but he didn’t appear like he was. It was natural to be stronger for a man this tall, even though it didn’t show; or so said his doctor.
He didn’t feel really muscular, but at least he wasn’t obese either, except for this thin layer of fat running across his belly, doing a great job at hiding the muscles underneath. At the very least, his Body Mass Index was about perfect.
But there wasn’t much else to be proud of. His whole body constantly felt broken; his life was maddeningly complicated and boring, in a society that simply was not made for him; and he always had been more or less alone, if not for his family. He was happy most of the time, but there still were moments where he pondered on the meaning of his empty existence.
He was me, and at the same time, he was a stranger. I didn’t want to be that guy. He was young, yet his eyes made him look older than time itself. He was tall, yet he felt microscopic, because no one ever noticed him and he did not have the courage to stand up anyway. He was somehow strong, but felt weaker than an infant; because he could not change anything in the world where he lived. He was supposed to be more intelligent than common people, yet he found a new reason to think he was stupid every day.
And, most importantly, he lived in a world where, in fact, there was absolutely nothing interesting to do. Conquering unknown lands? Done already. Conquering space? Too early. Conquering the heart of a loved one? There was no one to love, or at least no one who lived up to his expectations.
The only things he could actually conquer were a paycheck and fictional worlds. He did not want this. He wanted to live fully, and that always had been denied to him. He liked reality the way he was, but sometimes he wondered what would happen if it ceased being the way it is.
While I was combing my hair, the man looked at me with a melancholic look in his eyes, silently saying: “I don’t want to live on this planet anymore.”
I quickly turned back and exited the bathroom to put my clothes on. So did he.
A few minutes later, I went to the kitchen. I took a drink in the fridge and a glass in one of the shelves; then filled the glass and put its contents in my mouth; before finally allowing myself to swallow anything.
Every morning, it was like this: dried eyes, dry mouth, dry lips. This is why I hated waking up. Every night, I was automatically mummified by my unconscious. I felt bloated, much like a corpse that spent several days floating in the sea; yet my whole body was entirely dry.
Once my head was clear and my body was ready to face the day ahead, I noticed there was no one at home.
[“They must be at the market,”] I guessed randomly.
The big clock hanging on the wall displayed “10:07”. [“Meh. I only have 2 hours to read…”]
Three weeks before that day, I had grown a sudden interest in My Little Pony. I had a very weird dream about it and suddenly, I became compelled to watch all of it, even though I found the very idea of watching it perfectly ridiculous. [“I’m a 20-year-old man watching cartoons made for 5-years-old girls. Why the fuck do I do this ?”] was what I thought first, before really getting into it.
Every time I watched an episode of this show, I saw myself change gradually. During the first episodes, I was almost bored to death; and, before the end of the second season, I laughed to half the jokes they made.
Let’s not talk about the third season, it’s embarrassing.
After this video session, which was pretty short since I watched almost a season per day, I wanted more, and headed to websites like “Fimfiction”. Although I was ashamed of going there, it did feel good, somehow. And a few days after discovering that website, I found an interesting concept: “Chess Games of the Gods”. In that universe, Gods brought people from real life into Equestria; some Gods wanted to wreak havoc, others wanted to contradict this objective, and some remained neutral. All in all, the humans all had their share of action, but the future remained shrouded in darkness. It was quite interesting, to see how people projected their fears and dreams onto characters catapulted into such a land.
I read a few of them, and liked most of it, even though it wasn’t always good enough to truly compete with actual books. I guess no one was a professional writer over there; even though a handful of these authors still could have been if they wanted to.
Lost into my thoughts, I was halfway through the stairs when the intercom started to ring. [“I bet it’s that damned mailman again. Always ringing when I’m in the middle of climbing the stairs. It looks like he’s doing this voluntarily”,] I thought while rushing to the intercom. “Bonjour! Qui c’est?”, I asked, expecting the postman to show up.
“J’ai un paquet pour vous,” said a grave voice I didn’t recognize.
["Bah. I guess the usual stupid postman got fired after they caught him without his helmet again"] .
I pushed the button to open the gate.
A few seconds later, I was outside, ready to take the new postman’s message and send him on his way.
While the gate opened, I suddenly noticed the noise from the mailman’s vehicle. And, as my eyebrow lifted itself higher, I saw him coming in the alley. It definitely wasn’t a postman.
Instead of the laughable yellow scooter all French postmen have, a huge Harley-Davidson-like chopper was facing me.
Judging by the noise, the engine looked like it belonged to a space rocket. But that wasn’t all. The chopper was almost entirely chromed, and had a big black wing symbol etched on the back, near the exhaust pipes.
After he deemed I stared long enough at his stupendous motorcycle, the man spoke to me: “Greetings, Marc. I see you’re wondering who I am.”
While nodding in agreement, startled by the fact he spoke English and knew my name, I looked at him more attentively.
He was not very tall, but muscular as far as I could see; and undeniably classy in a hard-rock way. His black leather jacket and its shiny buttons and zippers went very well with his large black jeans; while the aviator glasses and iron hat he had looked like they were made for each other. Furthermore, he also had the most awesome pair of boots I ever saw. Made of black leather and full of nonsensical straps, both of them had a large chromed wing on their side. He was the incarnation of my idea of a rocker god.
“As you can see, I’m not an ordinary mailman; and I happen to have something very special for you. But, before that, I have to ask you a very important question. Take your time to answer it."
The biker crossed his arms and looked at me in the eyes. I could feel him gauging me and my reactions. “Do you like to live on the edge of law?”
I did not know why, but I had to answer his question, no matter what happened. “Sometimes I do, sometimes I don’t. It really depends on the matter. Why that?”
“It doesn’t matter right now. That was the answer I wanted to hear,” answered the strange mailman with a grin.
He stepped out of his bike, flipped through the numerous keys he had, and used one to open the top case before giving me what was inside: a huge notepad with an official-looking bunch of papers stuck to it. There seemed to be a few hundreds of pages; but I was quite used to read those things by then, since I started my law studies a few years before.
“Sign in the square at the bottom of the last page if you agree”, said the “mailman” while he idly sat on his chopper.
It took me a few seconds to accept the fact this paper was even real. Its main title?
“Dimensional travel contract”.
As I read the few paragraphs written on the first page, I was absolutely dumbfounded: “Parties involved: Marc LEMOINE, referred to as THE PIECE, and MERCURY, referred to as THE GOD”… I flipped some pages and saw lots of convoluted rules that I did not understand. Among these, were some sensibly more understandable: “THE GOD agrees […] to give THE PIECE a single boon after THE PIECE has been transported to its goal […] to listen to every single one of THE PIECE’s complaints and to answer each one of them truthfully”… Et cætera.
I had, laid in front of me, written on a pile of papers given to me by a weird mailman from hell, a great deal of the Chess Game of the Gods universe’s rules, in the form of a contract.
I lifted my eyes and looked at the guy on his bike. “Are you serious? What kind of joke is this?” I asked with a low voice.
The man slowly raised his hand to his face, his index raised, and lowered his glasses until I could see his eyes. “Does it look like I’m joking?”
“You are Mercury then?”
“That’s right."
“But… How would a god like you be real, and intending to bring me in the same version of Equestria as the other Pieces, when I actually know a lot about them because I read everything about what they did?”
I almost regretted asking that question when I heard the answer: “It's all about layers”.
My mind took a few seconds to process what this was about: “Do you mean that there are several layers of similar realities, just like when Celestia compared the reality with an onion, in a fanfiction?”
He immediately answered me: “Yes, that’s about it, even though it’s not only onion-shaped. But this ‘onion’, as you call it, has much more layers than you thought it had. And your reality is one of these layers.”
[“Great. This means two things: my reality isn’t as real as I’d like it to be, and two, this guy can probably bring me to Equestria if he is who he pretends to be.”]
“Why would you choose me, exactly?” I asked the biker.
“I had a list, and my dice made the choice for me”, he answered with a little grin, before pulling a pair of chromed dice out of his jacket’s pockets.
“Interesting. Now... Would you show me a few of your godly powers before I call the cops now? Because as much as I’d like this to be true, it’s a bit too silly for me…” I said with an inquisitive look.
Before I had time to ask something else, he jumped to me and put his hand on my forehead for about two seconds. He stepped back, his hand still suspended in the air, and looked at me with the eyes of a painter analyzing his own piece of art.
Nothing happened, except that I didn’t feel the notepad in my hands anymore.
I laughed at him. “Ha ha ha-oh-what. This isn’t my voice”, I said with a voice now cavernous and echoing, so alien and yet so familiar.
“What did you do to me?” my newly disembodied voice asked, much slower than how I used to talk. Adrenalin was running through my veins, a few sweat drops rolled on my skin, and my eyes turned around frantically; but I could not speak as fast as I wanted to, and I couldn't move either.
“I’m not only the guide of souls, god of contracts and all… I’m also a trickster god, remember that!”
He looked like he was about to burst out laughing, and reluctantly regained his composure before truly answering me: “I saw that you liked a certain Batman animated movie, in your memories. Maybe you should look at your arms.”
I slowly raised my hands, and did not see any hands.
Instead of the familiar appendages, there was a dark grey glove with pointy claws on the left, and a wicked-looking blade attached to a chromed metal stump on the right.
“I really dig the new look! Especially that hand scythe!” Mercury said, smiling with a hand on his chin.
[“Oh, great. He probably saw my failed attempt to cosplay this while looking at my memories, and gave me its appearance. Hey, at least, I can’t say I don’t look awesome.”]
Turning my head around, I noticed there was an extremely thick cloud of dark grey smoke floating behind me as well as around my feet. It almost obeyed my unconscious; when I thought of it moving somewhere, it crawled to that place almost instantly.
“Okay. So, you're a rather credible god who wants to send me to Equestria. But what kind of powers will I have there?”
“Well…”, Mercury said before laughing almost silently. “I’m going to give you a very small fraction of several of my own powers."
Deciding it was time for me to go back to normal, he disenchanted me. The smoke disappeared, my hands were back to normal and the notepad reappeared. Looking at that last item, I read the god's name again.
Something popped into my head at that moment.
“Hey, you’re Mercury, right? So… Why would you bring me to Equestria if there’s already been a Piece sent by Hermes? It’s just you in a different suit, right?”
The hate in his eyes was palpable. His entire face was close to catch fire. “Different civilization plus different name equals different entity. Hermes is a stupid and failed prototype. I am the complete, perfect, more intelligent and more powerful version of him. You think you’d see Hermes with such a rad bike?” he spat, patting his chopper. “No. Instead, this flaming Greek queer would have ridden a donkey,” he affirmed, putting his glasses back in place.
“Now listen, mortal. I’m not in the mood for useless bickering about other gods. You were in my list, which means you can do what I want. Sign right away or I’ll go get someone else and erase your recent memories. Get it?” He almost shouted.
I hurriedly grabbed the notepad with the contract on it, and signed. “Uh. Mercury, can I add a clause before I go?”
“It depends on the clause,” the god answered mysteriously, suddenly much calmer.
I took my time to find words that he could not turn against me; before saying: “I wish to stay in Equestria after the game ends; to be freed from any restraints I would have at the moment the game ends while keeping the powers you will give me during the game; and I wish to be able to go back to Earth when I want to.”
He looked at me with a predatory grin and declared: “You're going to have to go through a lot of terrible things because of that clause. Things have to be balanced after all. Are you sure?”
“It'll be worth it.”
“Fine. You can,” he said with a barely concealed smile.
I scribbled on the contract for a while, and nodded while handing him the contract. He signed too, without even looking.
“No regrets for your family, or even this whole world?” Mercury asked.
I pondered about the implications of this travel with apprehension. I simply couldn't do the wrong choice, or else I'd hate myself for the rest of my life.
[“Meh. Overall, I've had a nice life, with its ups and downs, and I really can't complain when compared to some other people on this planet... But I don't think a mostly happy family and the life of a friendless loner is in any way comparable to what might wait for me on the other side of the multiverse... Plus, I don't think I can actually lose anything by going there.”]
“Hey, as far as I know, when the game ends, I can come back here at any moment in time, which means I can come back the second I left, right?”
“That’s about right! Then, off you go!” Mercury said as he waved his arm.
Immediately, the smoke reappeared and rose around me. I felt a gentle tug on my feet and sank into the ground slowly, as if I was falling in moving sands. Everything went black after a while.
Date unknown. Location unknown.
“AUUUGH!”
I suddenly woke up, and noticed how I could open my eyes and mouth right away. This body was already nicer than the original. However, I didn’t see anything.
"So, apparently, I'm in a cave. A big one. Oh hey, I'm thinking in English. Looks like he switched my primary and secondary languages. That's interesting."
I couldn’t see the walls, or even my own arms for that matter. After moving my arms and legs a bit, I hit my hand on something hard, before falling on the ground. Mercury made me sleep on some kind of hole in a wall. Quite uncomfortable, if you ask me.
I quickly understood that I wasn’t a pony, since I stood on two legs; and my body and voice both felt rather similar to the previous, human one. “What kind of species did Mercury change me into?”
I had hands with five fingers, a nose, two eyes, hair, and clothes rather similar to the ones I had before being sent here… I even could feel the shape of my Pac-Man belt buckle. “If this is a human body, I will sue this clown. Sigh. At least I’m not a Sasquatch or a bugbear. These suck.
“Wait, something is wrong with this cave.”
I put my hands on several walls. They were all vertical and made of cemented stones; and it meant that they had been made by sentient creatures.
I moved around a bit. My footsteps echoed in the strange cave... But they were muffled. "Did he give me new shoes?"
As I came closer to one of the walls, I noticed there was another big gap. Made by hand or hoof too, judging by the edges that I touched.
What I found out wasn’t exactly what I expected. Next to the second hole in the wall I found, there were lots of others. But something was inside all the others. Long boxes, made of wood.
I smelled these boxes, and was welcomed by the stench of death and decay.
Coffins.
Date: unknown. Location: Some kind of mausoleum. Probably Equestria.
“Great. Now I’m in a fucking underground mausoleum, I don’t see anything and my only friends are a bunch of pony skeletons. Jeeze. Not quite the place I was hoping for.”
While walking along all these coffins, standing there, in the gaps, I noticed something startling. When I touched them, they all seemed to have some sort of picture engraved on their side. It was a circle, with spikes on a side but not on the other, and with a line in the middle.
“Probably half of a sun and half of a moon… These guys must have had something to do with royalty,” I thought, my hope renewed. It meant that I was close to Canterlot. Probably even inside the castle.
“Finally, this god isn’t as lame as I thought. Might be creepy around here but it’ll be easier to have a talk with Celestia and get to do something useful…”
I put a hand on the wall on my left, and walked, always keeping that hand on the wall. During something between 10 minutes and half an hour, I walked in the dark, without knowing where I was going; until I found an opening in the walls. It led to stairs. However, these stairs could have been very long, so I counted the steps in order to have an approximate idea of the distance. One step, two steps, three steps. Et cetera.
Two hundreds and eighty-four steps later, stood what must have been a door. I examined it the best I could with my hands, and found no way to open it. No handle, no button, no lever. It was covered in mysterious engravings, but I did not understand them. They had various shapes I did not understand, and I would not know how to read them if they were wirtten in Equestrian anyway.
“Oh well. Time to search for another exit.“
While going down the stairs, I looked closely for anything looking like an opening mechanism. Only the smooth surface of polished stones was there. I kept on searching for an exit while walking on the other side of the mausoleum.
Soon, I reached the place where I had started to examine the walls: the few empty gaps in the walls were there… And I didn’t find anything to open that door. No button. No lever. No crack in the wall. No pressure plate. No other door. I didn’t even know how long this lasted… The only thing I knew was that after what seemed to be a few hours, I didn’t feel any hunger or exhaustion. It was interesting, but also disturbing. Being deprived from bodily needs was something I did not understand; but it also let me believe I was not a human anymore after all.
Next thing I tried was to knock at the door, first with my fists, then with my feet. Nothing worked. No one was on the other side. And, judging by the door’s looks, it might as well have been soundproof.
I went down to the main hall again, and searched for an alternate escape route, because there was nothing else to do. There was nothing in the middle of the room, and dead ponies on most of the sides.
Days passed like this. I walked aimlessly among these stinky coffins, without ever resting. Now, you know, I like to think that I’m pretty stable when it comes to mental matters, but after a few days alone in the dark, in the middle of horse corpses, I just lost it and stopped trying to get out.
I was defeated by a door.
“Fuck.”
For an incredibly long moment, I sat down in a corner of the room, away from the resting ponies, and thought about what I could have been doing at that moment if I didn’t accept Mercury’s offer. Probably reading a few fanfics, or maybe finishing my co-op game of Dead Space 3 with my brother. Sleeping, too. I even spent some time remembering music, trying to think of the lyrics and melody to keep my brain busy. I talked to myself, which I knew was a sign of something wrong with me; and I frequently pinched myself to exit this nightmare.Nothing worked, and I could only think about the recent turn of events.
What was really important to me was that I would have been home if I didn't accept that offer. And, when you’re trapped in a mausoleum with corpses around you for days, you start to feel homesick pretty quick, I can assure you; unless your actual home is a mausoleum filled with dead people.
At some point in time, the unending night I was plunged in let me witness a small flash of light coming from the middle of the room. It was Mercury.
“So. What are you still doing here?” the god asked. “It’s been more than a few days, and you didn’t move.”
“In case you haven’t noticed, you dumped me into a freaking tomb with no way out.”
At that moment, I suddenly could see his face in the dark. He smiled a bit for a while, and wrinkles gradually appeared all over his face. It distorted into a divine trollface, before a villainous laugh resonated in the mausoleum: “This tomb will be your tomb! AHAHAhahaha…”
And, suddenly, his face came back to normal as the horrid wrinkles were quickly resorbed. “No, seriously, you could have passed through the door easily. The instructions are written on it,” he told me while retaining a little smirk.
“I don’t read Equestrian or Braille,” I said, expressionless. “So what should I do?”
“Magic. I gave you the power to go through solid matter; you just have to want it bad enough.”
And, as soon as he told me that, another flash of light blinded me.
"Hey, wait... And he's gone."
“Magic, huh. Well, time for some experimentation.”
I climbed the stairs again, and put my hands on the door. “Now let’s see. Magic… I guess I need to think really hard about going through solid matter.”
I closed my eyes, and imagined myself going through the door. After a while, I hopefully opened my eyes, only to see that I was still at the same place. “Fuck.”
My feet were unable to move, and their forced immobility made me lose my balance. “What the hell?”
Trying to understand how that was possible, I put my hands on my feet, and where there should have been feet, there was rock. Yet, I could feel my legs with my hands, until they melded with the rock. And, strangely enough, I could feel my feet inside the rock.
The next test revolved around thinking of a direction while also thinking of going through solid matter.
I closed my eyes, and when I opened them, my feet could move again. Examining the ground where my feet previously were stuck, I found no holes.
“I can't even disintegrate things by rematerializing inside them. Fo’ shame…”
“Now, let’s get through that door…”
I closed my eyes one last time.
When I opened them, I was facing some sort of eerie and out-of-control labyrinth made of various trees no one took care of, and it was night time. Finally, I was out of this damned tomb.
“Fuck you, door.”
I took a big breath of cold night air, and relaxed. Things really started to get interesting.
Chapter 1 - From a Dream to a Nightmare
CHAPTER 1 – From a Dream to a Nightmare
Date: unknown. Location : Near the entrance of a mausoleum, somewhere in Equestria, probably Canterlot.
A silver moon was up in the sky. Its dim light was often obscured by passing clouds and scrawny tree branches above me. Silently, an ubiquitous sea of grey fog washed over my feet in small waves.
Judging by the look of things, there was no doubt, I wasn't on Earth anymore. The real world didn’t have outlines and flat colors.
I took a few minutes to look at myself. It was almost exactly the same body I had before leaving Earth.
“Seriously, Mercury? Of all the forms you could give me, you actually give me the only one that I didn’t want… Oh, well. I guess it sucks but at least I get to retain my ability to eat meat.”
The only differences I could actually feel were either due to the change of physical rules, such as a much smoother skin or hair; or due to some healing Mercury practiced on me. For example, I saw everything correctly without needing my glasses. Even though my vision wasn’t that bad, I could tell the difference almost immediately. That was nice. I hated my glasses.
I turned back to look at the mausoleum, and, while looking at it, I noticed there were several lines of unknown symbols engraved in the marble and stone.
“Probably Equestrian. No point in bothering with this,” I thought to myself as I examined its surroundings.
“Apparently, the gate is supposed to open with a drawbridge-like mechanism, with ropes and pulleys. You can’t open it from inside… I guess it was some sort of test of my magic abilities. And I failed it.”
Since there was no point in staying there and it was night time, I thought I should search for a civilized place. Looking into the distance, I found no lights. That wasn’t a good omen. But the trees prevented me from seeing too far. I had to find a better observation point.
At least, I didn’t seem to require sleeping or eating. That journey in the mausoleum lasted forever, yet I didn’t feel any hunger or exhaustion. No point in searching for food, and no obligatory pauses.
“Time to go… But where?”
Near the mausoleum were a few tombs, and walls. The mausoleum was at the end of a wide alley, with tombs on each side and walls behind them. There was an immense and rusty gate on the other side, facing the mausoleum.
All around these walls, was an incredibly dense, grim and spooky forest. Half of the trees were dead, and their branches slowly scraped each other with cracking sounds and hisses as the nocturnal wind passed through them.
I walked towards the old gate and climbed on it, using the decorations between the iron bars as footholds. From there, I could see further, since some trees were small enough.
And what I saw wasn’t good at all. There was nothing but trees, in every single distance. One thing caught my eye, though: a quartet of partially ruined towers, standing alone in the middle of the trees. They were not too far away; about one kilometer away from me, maybe a bit more than that. However, it looked they were about as recent as this cemetery. There was moss everywhere on the towers, and only one had a seemingly intact roof. I couldn’t really tell. It was way too far to see the smallest details.
I looked down, on the ground, and saw a few stones, almost entirely covered by moss and humus. Some of them were smashed or moved, but globally, I could discern a pattern. It looked like an old path, and it was going in the castle’s direction.
“So be it. I’m going to explore this castle.”
Date: unknown. Location: Equestrian forest
I carefully descended from the tall gate, and followed the path through the forest. The moss covering the ground complicated my task, but there were enough moss-free stones to understand where to go.
After a few minutes of walking in the woods, I noticed that the trees became slightly more ordered.
They looked like they had been planted in straight lines, with more-or-less regular intervals.
“I must be near the castle now.”
Most of the trees’ lowest branches were cut a long time ago, and their higher branches entwined in an undistinguishable mess of leaves and bird nests.
Advancing into the dark vegetal tunnel, I walked at a slow pace. But, quickly, I noticed several pairs of green eyes looking at me from the shadows. “Shit. Timberwolves!”
They came closer every time a tree blocked my line of sight, and it made me run increasingly faster without really noticing.
By the end of the tunnel, I was running as fast as I could. Luckily for me, Mercury applied some kind of endurance enchantment on me, so I didn’t feel tired at all. I kept running and running, until I reached the end of the tunnel. The trees suddenly spreaded apart and formed a semicircle; and a wall with another old fence faced me.
The noise of the wolves was coming closer. Soon, all the eyes I saw previously jumped onto the stone path. I was alone, against a whole herd of timberwolves. They all looked at me with a bewildered but menacing look.
“Why, Mercury! Why!”
Trembling in terror, I quickly turned around and tried to climb the gate as fast as I could. It was just like the other one. Almost. With time, nearly all the decorations that allowed me to climb the previous gate fell on the ground. This time, there were only iron bars, and I sucked at climbing. Slipping on the iron bars, I fell on the ground.
I turned back and saw the mob of timberwolves, still hesitant as to what to do.
“Uhh… Oh! Yeah, right! Pass through. Magic. Fuck. I’m retarded,” was all I could think before near-instinctively closing my eyes, and slowly moving through the old gate, walking backwards.
When I opened my eyes, to my greatest surprise, I could see the timberwolves shrug and go back to the forest.
“Weird. They should have pursued me, at least until I reached a populated area… What is in this castle exactly?” I thought to myself, a bit scared to go to a place where timberwolves didn’t want to go.
I silently watched the wooden wolves go away, hidden behind the wall, and headed to the castle when they all disappeared.
Walking into the castle’s main yard, I examined its surroundings. Only an abyss remained around the deserted building. It was an almost perfect circle, going nearly all around the castle. There were only two non-aerial means of entry to this castle: first, behind the castle, there was the tree corridor and the gate. And secondly, in front of the castle, was an old wooden bridge with creaking planks. I didn’t trust it, but it led to the other side of the abyss. I had to walk on it at some point.
“The old walls must still be in the forest, around the trees, somewhere. Something happened to this castle. Something terrible, and probably magical.”
The moon was setting. Only a few hours to wait, and the sun would come up. “I guess I should wait in there until dawn…”
I headed to the castle itself and peeked into the main hall through a shattered window. “No sign of life. Good.”
Walking along the various corridors randomly, I found myself wandering inside one of the towers. There were no doors, shelves or anything else in the various rooms I went through; because everything that was made of wood had rotten away over time. Everything turned to dust.
Same fate for the windows… Most of them were almost completely destroyed; only tiny glass splinters remained on the edges.
This castle was really, really old.
After a while, I reached the top of the tower. Climbing all these huge stone stairs would have been a pain if I were in my previous body, but this one, although it looked similar, was definitely different. I didn’t really feel anything particular after going through all these steps.
I was in one of the towers without an entire roof. In fact, almost all the roof was gone. Only a few tiles remained, the others being smashed and scattered on the ground.
In the distance, I could see an unending forest, in most of the directions. However, this forest was growing in a land with many hills. Thanks to this, I could see a flickering light, on one of the forest’s edges. Judging by the position of the moon, I concluded it was south-east, assuming the sun and moon moved the same way here as they did on Earth.
“Very well. I’ll see if I can get there in the next few days…”
I went back to the main hall, and warily approached the largest stone corridor. It turned left, and led to a much bigger room.
There was some sort of central walkway, while marble columns on the side marked what seemed to be the previous emplacement of chairs or benches. It almost looked like a church.
Then I noticed something strange: a big circle, where the layer of dust had almost disappeared. Upon closer inspection, I noticed that there were not only circular traces, but also hoof marks.
“So, someone came here more or less recently.”
However, these traces had to be a bit old, because there still was a very thin layer of dust covering them.
As I reached the bottom of the alley, I saw some sort of pedestal. There was a horse statue’s head on one of its edges, and the skeleton of a former veranda behind it.
The alley ended there.
“Well, nothing to see here,” I thought as I went back to the main hall.
Once in the main hall, I followed another, smaller corridor, into which other hoofsteps appeared too. However, this time, they were reversed, so the ponies who made these were running towards the main hall. And, most probably, towards the room I just exited.
The winding corridor led me to the remains of a strange room. The walls were almost all destroyed, and in the middle, stood a weird edifice, somehow looking like a peculiar fountain. Its base was a thick stone disk. On top of it, was a tiny pyramid. On top of this pyramid, was another, thinner stone disk. And, on top of the second disk, was a very short but thick column with six spoon-like appendages, coming out of the column rather randomly. Above the column, was a stone ball. Everything was covered in moss and vines, and crackled in some places.
“Hey, wait a minute.”
That’s when I realized I was in the middle of the Everfree forest, walking inside the ancient castle of the Goddess Sisters.
“Yup. I won’t lie to myself like ‘oh hey I’m probably dreaming or drugged’. This is Equestria. No doubt about it.”
Date unknown, location: Celestia and Luna’s old castle. Surrounded by the Everfree forest.
The timberwolves fleeing this place, the hoofsteps, the pedestal, the markings in the dust, the fountain-pyramid-thing. Everything was clear now. The timberwolves couldn’t come in there because there must have been some sort of protection spell. The hoofsteps were those of the Mane Six, when they came here to search for the Elements of Harmony. The wide circles in the dust? Nightmare Moon’s tornado-like attacks. The pedestal is where she waited for Twilight Sparkle. And the bizarre fountain is where Twilight first found the Elements of Harmony.
“The light I saw earlier probably was from Ponyville then. Good. As soon as the sun is up, I’ll keep running through the woods. I hope I’ll be fast enough…”
To wait for the sun to come, I strolled through the castle, looking at the architecture here and there, imagining what life could have been in there. I even found an armory, with a few rusty weapons still inside.
But time was passing quickly, and the sun didn’t take a lot of it to show up.
As soon as I deemed its light powerful enough, I walked out of the castle, crossed the bridge that surprisingly didn’t break or even creak, and drifted off into the forest.
Date unknown. Location: Everfree forest.
The forest was vibrant with life. A permanent cacophony of bird songs was echoing through the forest; the sound of a river could be heard in the distance; and the trees themselves chanted with the wind blows coming through their leaves.
Most of the trees were rather tall and had too much leaves for me to see the sky. And not all of them had enough branches for me to climb at their top. That made me walk rather erratically; but once in a while, there still were trees that I could climb.
The day passed quickly, and after a while, the forest started to grow more oppressing by the second. Animals progressively stopped making noise; and very soon, I was left alone, with my footsteps sounding through the forest.
The shiny golden eyes that followed me earlier were back. And this time, I had no magical shield to protect me.
Seeing them coming closer, I ran to the nearest climbable tree. They all followed me, and were running faster than me. “Shit. Gotta think of something. Maybe if I climb high enough, I’ll be able to wait there until dawn.”
As I climbed my way through the branches, a group of around ten timberwolves was turning around the tree, sniffing everything, as if they were more curious than hungry. I looked at them silently for a while, and tried my best to remember anything about them from the show. The only encounter I remembered was that one with Spike and Applejack, where Spike says they have a really bad breath. “Useless. Offering them chewing gums won’t make them go. And I'm all out of bubble gum anyway,” I thought to myself, still shivering in fear as they turned around the tree.
After a few minutes of smelling everything, one of them decided that it was boring.
So instead of waiting, he started to bite the tree. Chunk by chunk, its trunk was slowly cut down, while several other timberwolves helped him. I stood there, paralyzed, until the tree fell on the ground.
The ancient behemoth cracked in agony during the whole fall, while I clung to its branches, feeling my internal organs trying to escape through my mouth.
Amazingly, I didn’t pass out from the fall, although I was sitting really high. No pain either, even if I was really dazed.
“I wonder what kind of magic Mercury put on me.”
The timberwolves looked at me, still dazed and sitting on the ground a few meters away, and, in a matter of seconds, they all decided it would be fun to run after me.
I sat there and didn't move, the world dancing around my eyes. They all pounced at the same time, and I closed my eyes.
About twenty seconds later, I opened them again, slowly, and didn’t feel like I was eaten alive. In fact, all the timberwolves were very close to me, but they were only sniffing randomly in the air.
“Are they blind or something?” I thought, before trying to stand up.
As soon as I moved, they all turned their heads in my direction.
“Uh… Okay, I'll stay put.”
Sniffing around again, most of them lost interest after a while. I stayed immobile, and they suddenly didn’t care about me anymore.
“Am I some sort of chameleon?”
If I actually had some kind of camouflage power, I didn’t see my body change while staying immobile.
Half an hour later, all of them were gone.
“Maybe they let me go because I was immobile against the gate, earlier at the castle…”
I waited a bit more, and resumed my walk towards the source of light I saw from the tower. Although it was dark, I now knew timberwolves couldn’t really harm me if I didn’t move.
Several times, they came around me, but every time I saw the yellow eyes glowing in the dark, I stopped walking and waited a while. Eventually, I reached the edge of the forest.
In the end, this little walk lasted a day and a half.
Date unknown. Location: Edge of the Everfree forest.
I didn’t know where to go, so I walked in a straight line for a while. Eventually, I reached a path looking like a road and followed it. The moon was my only source of light, but the path was visible enough, and rather large.
Outside of the forest, things were a lot nicer. I could see the midnight blue sky gradually turning to orange during my walk.
A few hours later, I reached my goal.
Date unknown. Location: Ponyville.
Relieved to finally be in a place where I didn’t risk dying, I strolled around the sleeping town, admiring what I always considered as fictional. Sometimes, I even dared to look through the windows, to see what kind of things were inside the cottages.
When I was done with my little tour, I went to Twilight Sparkle’s tree-house and waited for her in an alleyway nearby. This way, I was almost sure that no one would be afraid of me. I was pretty sure they had seen worse by then, considering what other creatures appeared in the fan fictions I’ve read, but I didn’t want to take any chances.
A few hours later, the first ponies I ever saw from my own eyes opened their doors, sometimes yawned, and went to do whatever they do for a living. Cloaked in the darkness of the alleyway, I looked at them all closely, moving back in the alleyway every time one of them looked too close to spotting me.
As time passed, the shadow in the alleyway became much less prone to camouflage. However, none of the ponies noticed me. Confident in my new hiding skills, I kept on waiting for Twilight at the same spot. It lasted hours, and, finally, in the afternoon, she opened her door and started walking on the village’s main alley. I quickly crept back into the darkest part of the alleyway, and waited for the trotting noises to come closer.
When she was about 10 meters away from me, I whistled a few notes that could be understood as “Hey! Over here!”
She did not appear to hear anything. Her ears didn’t even turn around… So I tried whistling louder. It didn’t work either.
Then, as she was going too far from me, I went back to the entrance of the alleyway and said “Twilight! Over here!” loud enough for anyone to hear. I was desperate, and wanted her to answer me before I had to spend another day alone in a secluded alleyway.
She suddenly turned back and looked at the alleyway with a suspicious look. Twilight walked towards me cautiously, and stepped inside the alleyway. I was at the bottom of it, hiding in the darkest corner.
“Could you please not scream if I show myself?” I asked, hopeful.
No answer came. Instead, her horn acted as a magical lamp, illuminating the whole alleyway. She squinted her bleary eyes, looked everywhere, and shrugged. “Nothing. I must be hearing voices. I really should stop reading so late,” she said, before turning back and resuming her walk.
I was mortified. “Am I completely invisible and inaudible?”
It took me a few seconds to react, but when I did, I was shaking in despair, my arms twitching by themselves. I ran to Twilight, stepped in front of her, and tried to stop her. “Wait! I’m here! Please, stop!”
She did not hear anything and kept on walking, until she walked through me.
I could see the pony’s body going through my own, as if I were nothing but air.
“What did he do to me? What have I become?”
I contemplated my hands. They didn’t pass through each other or through walls,as far as I knew; and yet, Twilight Sparkle’s body offered less resistance to my hands than a block of jelly.
I know it was stupid, but my first reaction to this news was to try to slap her. “Maybe if I was fast enough, I could gain some kind of solidity.”
One time, two times, three times, four times.
She didn’t feel anything, apart from a slight tickling in the face. A few seconds later, she sneezed.
“Great. Mercury changed me into an invisible man who can make ponies sneeze. How would he win the game with such a terrible Piece?” I wondered, abandoning any dialogue attempts with the oblivious pony.
After this unsuccessful attempt, I didn’t bother hiding anymore. It was useless anyway, since ponies couldn’t even feel me walking inside them.
Saddened by this experience, I went to the tree-house and sat against the door, wondering what to do next. A few minutes later, I thought of absolutely no one who could help me; and decided to visit Twilight’s house while she was away. I faced the door, closed my eyes, and slowly passed through it.
After looking at the books she had, I climbed up the stairs, and sat on the bed. Oddly enough, it was about as hard as stone. This was really unsettling. She couldn’t sleep on something like this…
Wondering what that bed was made of, I tried to open it; to no avail.
When I put my hand against one of the blanket’s folds, it was as hard as the rest of the bed. I couldn’t move it.
Even more disturbed by the fact I couldn’t even lift a simple blanket, I put all my strength into my arm and pulled. The result was almost unsurprising: after a while, I felt some sort of click, and my hand passed through it.
“I can’t talk to anyone, my sole power is to make people sneeze, and I go through solid objects if I try to move them. It keeps getting better.
“Mercury, I swear it, someday, I’ll make you pay for this humiliation.”
From then on, I took the habit of visiting even the insides of everypony’s house. It was much less boring than standing in an alleyway or at Twilight’s house… And it slowly became an insurmountable habit that made me feel like a pot addict.
I hated druggies. I never lowered myself to use any drugs when I was on Earth, including ethanol in the concept of “drugs”; but this was far more addictive than any chemical substance, because it was, simply put, life. I used the life of others to replaced the one I lost.
Over time, I knew more or less everyone in Ponyville, and all of their little problems. I knew everything that happened in their families, as well as what happened outside. This is how I learned what time it was.
Discord had been sealed two months ago. So we were around the middle of August.
Recapping the previous events in my head, I also concluded it meant that I stayed something like an entire week in that dark mausoleum.
Date: First Year of the Game. Location: Still Ponyville.
During the first months, I sometimes had ideas that might have helped me to become solid. I tried, among other things, talking to people in their sleep, talking to animals, passing through unicorns while they were casting a spell… None of this worked.
I also tried casting more spells, like levitation, transmutation, whatever… Nothing worked, except for the one Mercury told me about in the mausoleum: going through walls.
Thus, quickly, constantly spying on everyone’s little lives became the only activity that kept me sane, after each and every one of my failed attempts to “exist”. It was like watching an unending TV reality show. Only the Gods know how much I hated these retarded shows back on Earth… But here, there were no canned laughters, no stupid jokes, and, more importantly, no one I could talk to. So this was my only source of interaction with living things. Of course, I’ve always been some kind of hermit, and never had a lot of friends, but I still missed the basic social interactions I used to have before coming to Equestria.
After two or three months, I unconsciously started living through them and stopped trying to be more “alive”. I watched them working, sleeping, cooking, partying, loving. I watched and watched, all day, every day, every week. I learned about their culture, their way of life, their history. Sometimes, I even went to school, to learn how to write and read the Equestrian language! Even if it was hard to understand everything since I could not practise, I understood the basics…
“I bet Cheerilee will have a heart attack if I ever tell her she gave grammar lessons to an alien,” I thought, at that moment.
But, all good things have an end; and, as much as I liked doing this, my loneliness caught up on me. One day, as I was watching the Apple family go to bed after a nice meal, they reminded me of my own family. That memory triggered a chain reaction in my brain, and before they were all sleeping, I couldn’t stop brooding, thinking about how I had done nothing so far. I hated myself, I hated Mercury, and I hated this world, to which I was no more than a fancy invisible gas.
When February came by, I couldn’t stop thinking about my good old solid body. Although passing through walls became pretty fun once I mastered it, I really wanted to find a way to go back to normal, as much as a human guy in Equestria would be normal; and as much as I could be normal.
Date: 6th of February, First Year of the Game. Location: Still Ponyville.
That day, I decided to venture further into Equestria, to find out how I could fix my intangibility problem. No more Ponyville, I saw enough of it.
I climbed aboard the first train going to Canterlot, and didn’t look back.
CHAPTER 2 – Lost Souls
Date: 6th of February. First Year of the Game. Location: Canterlot.
“The train traveled at around fourty or fifty kilometers per hour. Only if I’m not mistaken, and that is possible since my impression of speed may be false due to the look of things here. Anyway. The travel to Canterlot lasted a bit less than half a day, so the distance between Ponyville and Canterlot should be approximately five hundred kilometers. This place is huge. The country must be about as big as the whole United States, if not bigger… And let’s not mention the rest of the continent, and the entire world. This planet probably is the size of Jupiter.”
Lost in my thoughts, I stayed in the train a little too long, and had to jump off of it when it started to go to its next destination. The train was already at full speed and I rolled around on the ground. I was nothing more than a disjointed puppet, with limbs bending at improbable angles constantly.
Lifting myself up after jumping wasn’t hard, and I didn’t feel any pain. Somehow, I wish I could have hurt myself. The memories of the last time I felt pain were comforting. At least, I was home. I know that I asked Mercury to send me in another reality, but I still missed my place a little.
I headed to the castle, hoping to find a solution there.
Date: 7th of February. First Year of the Game. Location: Canterlot Castle.
When I first got to the castle, the most unsettling was the layout. Not only was it absolutely nonsensical; it was also impractical in case of a siege. In the medieval castles I visited during my youth, each room had a purpose and a means of defense. Stairs were made a certain way to ease the residents’ resistance to their opponents; and there were big portcullises, moats, thick walls, and several gigantic armories filled with various weapons.
Celestia’s castle did not look like any of these old vestiges; and was instead rather similar to castles dating back to the Renaissance. It was full of precious furniture and various artifacts displayed in glass cases, there were large fancy windows on every wall, and paintings decorated the inside while statues stood in the garden outside…
However, these were the only real similarities with the most recent castles I’ve seen. Most of the royal castle here was, simply put, the embodied nightmare of a lunatic architect with a fetish for towers. It didn't really have anything to do with what one would call a castle on Earth.
In fact, it was almost as if there was no actual castle... As if there only was a group of towers piled up somewhere on the flank of a mountain. Yet, some rooms did justify the name of this place. For example, the throne room. A place with a dedicated throne room can't really be called anything else than a castle, I guess.
Regarding that throne room, it was quite impressive, and it showed an undeniable megalomania oozing from all the decorations and furniture. Celestia and Luna certainly didn’t live in poverty.
Or, well, Celestia certainly didn’t. I don’t think there are a lot of castles like this one on the moon.
Date: 10th of February. First Year of the Game. Location: Canterlot Castle.
As I was watching the two princesses fulfilling their royal duties, answering queries, I had a glorious idea. The kind of idea that a man with an overdeveloped sense of humor can only make real, after spending several months without anyone to prank.
I walked in front of the princess and her subject, and while Celestia was talking, I waved my hand and made it pass through her face several times quickly. The expected result happened quickly: she sneezed on the plaintiff, and he was instantly covered in a million microscopic droplets of royal saliva, his eyes and mouth clamped shut instinctively.
While she was apologizing, I kept waving my hand, and she sneezed on him again in the middle of a sentence.
The stallion walked away laughing, certain to tell that humorous tale to children some day, while Celestia looked at him from the corners of her eyes, hiding her blushing face with a hoof.
During the next hour, I never stopped waving my arm. She constantly sneezed, wondering what was happening to her, as various magicians and doctors examined her. For most of the ordeal, Luna was laughing quietly, and during the moments when she didn’t try to conceal her laugh, the Moon Princess downright rolled over the floor laughing. Even some of the theoretically stolid guards couldn’t refrain from grinning under their helmets.
Unfortunately for me, she didn’t solve her sneezing problem, nor did her army of servants. I actually expected her to, but it seemed that the magic isolating me from the rest of the world wasn’t something she knew about.
Seeing as this prank distracted me for the time being, I kept fooling around for a while. Indeed, a few hours later, I also did it to Luna while she was raising the moon. The look on her face was incredible. The moon kept shaking in the sky, often ceasing its ascent and going back down while she was sneezing… Cursing in old English, Luna was hilarious, and Celestia took advantage of the situation to mock her too. It was her revenge, in some way.
I guess this is what trickster gods feel like. It must be fun to be one of them.
Date: 16th of February, First Year of the Game. Location: Canterlot Castle.
I stayed in the library during that week, and didn’t see any book specifically about intangible people. I knew it wouldn’t be very helpful anyway since I couldn’t open them, but I wanted to be sure.
I also visited a lot of the “treasure rooms”, several tiny museums with invaluable goods scattered around the castle. It was interesting, and very instructive. I wish I had a camera at that time though; some of the art objects displayed there were absolutely breathtaking. Among them, I recognized a few, including a certain piece of enchanted stained glass given to the Princesses not so long ago.
Date: 20th of February, First Year of the Game. Location: Canterlot.
The day before, I decided the castle was useless to me. I couldn’t do anything there, and the only people who might have been able to help me had been reduced to sneezing hairballs without understanding what caused their unending torment.
Therefore, I decided to visit the town itself and distract myself a while, in order to forget about my general helplessness.
Canterlot was pretty, but even more nightmare-inducing than the castle. There were small alleyways about everywhere behind the houses, bridges suspended in the air between some houses, a multi-level system of districts even worse than that of Minas Tirith, an impressive network of stairs and sewers that led to each of the city’s corners… It was mind-blowing, but not always in a good way. Without a map, it’s very easy to get lost in Canterlot, unless you’re a native. And, honestly, I think that even natives must have trouble with that town.
My trip through the city was instructive regarding the ponies’ way of life; but it didn’t get me closer to a remedy for my condition. I decided it was time to get out of here, and maybe go back to the Everfree Forest, in that cursed mausoleum. After all, some Pieces had all they needed right under their noses at the beginning, according to their stories. It could have been my case too.
On my way to the city gates, I had to pass through a mob of agape onlookers, who happened to be the witnesses of an entertaining fight between a drunkard and a city guard.
I kept looking at the fight while walking, and my foot bumped into someone.
“Oh, sorry.”
And I kept on walking.
Ten seconds later, I realized what I did. Instantly, I turned back and screamed at the top of my lungs: “HEY! YOU THERE! WAIT!”
The pony looked at me for a while, and I could see him more clearly. He watched me with colorless eyes, not as frightening as they were strange; before bolting away inside the unaware mob.
“Ha! Probably an enchanter or something who is under the effects of a spell related to the one Mercury cast on me. The hunt is on. I’m not letting you escape.”
The fleeing pony tried everything to make me get lost. Running through other mobs, running in circles around some buildings, going in the underground sewer systems… He even tried jumping on a few roofs, but that didn’t work particularly well for him and he fell on the street.
Several times, he almost managed to outwit me. But, as I noticed when the chase began, there was a long floating cable that followed him everywhere. Sometimes, it really helped me to locate him, for example when he turned in another street twice in a row.
However, he did not ever seem to get tired, just like I did, and that made everything considerably more complicated.
After half an hour of running around, I lost him for a few minutes and walked around randomly.
When I saw the floating white cable coming out of a door, unmoving, I understood this was my greatest chance to catch him. My hands pressing firmly on a wall near the door, I closed my eyes and passed through it.
Once inside, the first thing I saw was a terrified translucent pony who was almost crying, sitting on the ground in a corner of the room.
“Bu-bu-bu-buh, I don’t want to die again! Waaaaaaah…”
“Wait. What did you say?”
He looked at me with pleading eyes, crying a river of glowy white water that sunk through the floor. “I… Don’t want to d-die again. Please.”
“Why ‘again’? You are dead, seriously?”
I looked at him, my right brow furrowing by itself. He was still crying, but by the looks he gave me, it was obvious that he was unsettled by my question, albeit unable to answer it in his emotional state. I decided to shake him up a bit. “Listen to me, because I won’t repeat this. Either you answer my questions, or you ask me some questions of your own. But I need to know what happened to me.”
After he ceased crying, he managed to ask me something, although he stuttered a lot: “W-what are you ex-exactly? I’ve nev-never s-seen things like you bef-fore. I t-th-thought you came fo-for m-me.”
“Uh… I’m not from here, as you can see. But I’m not a monster, only a traveler! Please, believe me!”
“Oo-o-ok-ay. A-and I-I’m a, uh, a p-pony,” he asked, trembling in fear.
“Yes, I saw that. What else?”
“Uh… I’m also d-dead?” he asked hesitantly.
“I meant, what’s your name. But, well, being dead would be a rather logical explanation to why you are partially see-through and have this weird cable coming out of your back. Then, I have to ask you a question: am I dead too? Since I’ve arrived here, no one ever saw me, except you.”
He put his hoof under his chin, thought about it for a while, looked at me, pondered a few seconds again, before finally answering: “I can’t say you’re entirely d-dead, and that is very str-str-strange. I cannot see th-th-th-through you. You als-also walk through walls. I c-can’t do that.”
“Huh. So I’m not really dead. Somehow. Or I’m not only dead, at least.”
“W-w-what was that c-cable you spoke ab-about?” asked the dead pony.
“Look.” I grabbed the cable, and put it in front of his eyes.
“I don’t see any-any-thing,” he looked at me, confused.
“Huh? Strange.”
I tried tugging on it, but it only made him squeal. “Hey! This t-thing hu-urts!” he almost cried again.
“Oh, okay, I’ll stop, I’m really sorry, I don't know what it is either.
"So… Well, glad to meet you, sir. Please call me… JC,” I stated, before offering my hand to help him stand up. I didn’t really trust anyone here with my actual name.
He reluctantly put his hoof in my hand, and quickly jumped away as soon as he stood up.
“I-I’m- My name’s Shiny Ring. I was a j-jewel designer. I made lots of things like, uh, necklaces, t-tiaras, for example,” he hastily said, before shutting his mouth with an audible clap.
Looking at his flank, I indeed saw a very faint emblem: a golden ring.
“Things would be much easier if you stopped being so afraid of me. I’m not here to kill you again or anything else, I just wanted to know what happened to me,” I told him in my most comforting voice. It wasn’t exactly comforting, but it was the best I could do.
Hearing that, Shiny Ring calmed down a bit. “So, uh, JC, why d-did you chase me like this?”
“You are the first non-pass-through person I saw in months. I had to do something.”
“And, uh, if you don’t know what you are, d-do you know why you are here?” he asked with a curious expression.
“I str-HNNNNNNNNGaaaah!”
As soon as I tried to tell him the answer, every single nerve in my body activated itself. My brain received pain signals from everywhere at the same time. I collapsed on the ground, panting heavily, my hands on my head. The sensation was akin to being burned alive while also being tortured by a mad acupuncturist.
“Are you okay? What’s happening!” The pony was already panicking, almost crying again.
Fortunately for me, the “pain blast” lasted only about five seconds. After that, I fell unconscious.
Ten minutes later, I woke up, and managed to slowly stand up. “Apparently, this is what happens when I try to tell you something I don’t have the right to talk about.” Still aching from the experience, I sat on a table nearby.
“That is weird. I never felt any pain since I died,” he said.
“It’s new for me too, Mr. Shiny. I can’t say I liked it but it’s reassuring… Sort of.”
Wondering about his reason to be there, chatting with me, instead of living another life; I asked him a question. “So, since you’re dead, but not in Tartarus or already reincarnated, why are you there?”
“I… I don’t remember why. I died several decades ago at least, and some of my memories faded away with time. Now I’m just waiting for something to happen to me.”
“Well, sorry, but I don’t think I can help you. I’m trying to find out why I’m here too… And I don’t have a single clue. Do you know somepony –or any other species for that matter– that can see dead people?” I asked, hoping for a positive answer.
He scratched his head, not really enthusiastic: “Maybe in Tartarus…”
“Yeah, no, that won’t do it. I don’t want to go to hell just because I have questions to ask.”
“Maybe it sounds strange, but… Did anyone bring you here? After all, you aren't like this for no reason,” he asked, visibly still unsettled but less afraid of me.
I nodded silently in agreement.
“Then, maybe that person can help you.”
The Game’s rules popped up in my mind.
“Rule number eight: The Piece can talk to the God if he or she feels like he or she has been wronged .
“How exactly am I supposed to do that? I have no parchment, I’m not even sure I can send him a message…
“Unless that bastard gave me a way to do it without warning me, like he did with the ‘going through walls’ thing.”
Unsure of what would happen; I put my hands on the wall and looked at the scared pony.
“Wait for me, okay? I’ll be back soon. I just need to try something.”
I didn’t leave him the time to answer, and slithered through the wall again. Once I was back in the street, I walked around until I found a quiet place, near the sewers. Sitting on the ground, I closed my eyes and thought hard about Mercury appearing from nowhere, right beside me.
When I opened my eyes, he wasn’t there. Sighing, I started to walk back to Shiny Ring, when I heard an engine noise. My “employer” finally decided to show himself, riding his chromed motorbike.
“Took you some time to figure that one out, huh? I guess I should’ve given you a ‘user’s manual’ for magic matters,” the god mockingly told me.
“Heh. At least you took some time to learn about your surroundings, these months weren’t completely wasted.”
Mercury marked a little pause and jumped out of his bike’s seat, before coming to the point: “Now what do you want exactly?”
“I have a lot of questions, so please don’t vanish after the first one. Firstly: Why am I dead?”
“No. You’re not dead, only wandering in the same dimension as dead people. A-k-a the Soul Dimension.”
“Dimension? But I thought my original reality was a parallel dimension,” I said, not quite understanding what he was saying.
He examined me with the concerned look of a psychiatrist examining one of his patients, and answered: “You’ve got it all wrong… A dimension is a layer of a given universe. You come from another universe, which is a layer of the multiverse. It’s just two different types of layers. When you move between dimensions, you stay in the same reality. And 'reality' is a synonym for 'universe'. Get it?”
“Uh-huh. So… What do I do in the dimension where dead people reside?”
“First, because I’m the God of Boundaries as well as the Guide of Souls to the Underworld, and you should know that, because it implies that I gave you powers related to both these titles. And secondly, because I wanted you to discover your new powers without bothering people. Also, thirdly, keeping trying to get out of this dimension – even though you couldn’t – was a test of your will to live. You failed, since you stopped after a few tries. But I wasn’t expecting you to pass it anyway, it wasn’t important, and I didn’t want anyone to see you.”
“Why is it unimportant?”
“Because of the fourth reason: you are not exactly my Piece.”
“Huh? I’m not your Piece? What does that mean? Why am I here then?! And why did the contract say I was your Chess Piece?” I shouted, halfway between anger and incomprehension.
He rolled his eyes, and answered me with a condescending look: “Listen. The first few clauses said you would be referred as the Piece in the contract, but that didn’t mean you would be my Piece on Equestria. It was just a trick. All it was about was bringing you here, not making you my champion. Take it like this: you’re not a Piece, you’re a gift for my Piece, who will come here later.”
“I don’t want to be the useless sidekick!”
“Oh, you won’t, I can assure you. You role will be to make the Piece look good, but you will actually do most of the job. So what I want you to do, until my plan is ready, is to train. Use the few powers I gave you, and master them.”
“The only two powers I’m aware of are passing through walls and asking you to come here. I’m an expert at walking or running through walls, but now I’d appreciate some more magic to use.”
“Well, I guess I could unlock a part of your magic potential soon.”
Mercury marked a pause, his eyes drifting in the horizon, contemplating the situation. “Yeah… I’ll let you have some of my powers. Since I’m a nice guy, I’ll even make a list of my attributions as a God, so you can imagine what kinds of powers you will have, in the meantime. Hmm, let’s see.”
He pulled a surprisingly well-preserved scroll out of one of his jacket’s pockets, unrolled it and started reading.
“God of messages and other forms of communication, you saw why on Earth; God of contracts, commerce, and financial gain, so consider yourself the proud owner of the Merchant perk; Guide of Souls to the Underworld, which means I have to carry ‘lost’ souls back to Tartarus, just like your friend over there,” he said while gesturing towards the house where Shiny Ring was. “God of trickery – I love that one,” he said with a smirk. “God of thieves, very practical when it comes to agility and camouflage. God of eloquence, useful when you have to convince people to agree with you. God of arts – I’ve got to thank your Gaul ancestors for that one, they gave it to me and I didn’t even ask for it. God of boundaries – hopping through dimensions and realities is my hobby… Oh, yeah, this too. God of luck, although not as powerful as Lady Luck herself.”
He closed the scroll and put it back in his pocket. “And, finally, this is not really godhood-related, but I’m also a fantastic healer thanks to my caduceus; and certainly the best of all shapeshifters to ever exist. I fooled all of my relatives back in the day, and stole about everything they had at least twice.”
He gazed into the distance, looking nostalgic after reminding about that.
“I guess gods have an interesting life, to say the least.”
“Okay. Second question: when will your ‘plan’ get completed?”
“I don’t have to answer that, but since you ask and I’m in a good mood... It’ll more or less be done when you’ll be used to your new abilities. Most of your abilities are still locked. I don’t want you to be seen. However, you can interact with the material world now, through the use of the levitation spell that I just unlocked. Although your body cannot move between dimensions, I allowed your magic to do so.”
“Fine. Third question: Why do I see a weird cable coming out of dead people’s backs while they do not see it themselves?”
“Oh, that? It’s because you’re my employee. Since you have a part of my powers, you’re also a Soul Guide. And one of the perks to being a Soul Guide is to be able to see the Soul Links. These ‘cables’, as you call them, are in fact, during life, the connection between souls and bodies. But it’s mostly useful when you have to lead a soul to Tartarus and it doesn’t want to. It’s basically a leash for ghosts,” he said, laughing a bit. “And if you focus well enough, you can even see it on alive people, and eventually use it to kill them by separating their soul from their body.”
“Wow. Neat. Do I have the right to do that?”
“Avoid doing it. But you already can, actually. Any more questions?” he asked, visibly hurried to go back to whatever he was doing.
“Yeah, yeah. Oh, right. An important one. Why did timberwolves chase me, even though I wasn’t even in the same dimension as them, according to what you said earlier?”
Mercury looked at me like I was retarded – again – and answered: “They’re magical beings. They don’t only feed on flesh, but also on raw magic if they can. And, well, you are in another dimension indeed, but a tiny, tiny stream of magic goes through the dimensions when you move, so you appear like you’re made of raw magic. It’s like… Like if you were a magical stew pot running everywhere. They smell the ‘magical food’ inside you when you run, because your lid opens a bit. But when you stop, the lid closes, and they’re lost since they don’t smell anything. Get it?”
I laughed a bit before answering: “Yeah, yeah. But for a god of art, you suck at metaphors.”
“Poetry isn’t my thing. I’m more into music.”
“Now if you’re done mocking me, I’ll go,” he said, visibly vexed.
“No, wait! I still have a lot of questions! For example: Why did I feel a terrible pain when I tried to tell that ghost about the deal I struck with you?”
“Ah. That.
“Let’s just say it’s a part of my plan. It’s one of the sacrifices I had to make, to be able to do what I intend to do. It might cause a lot of suffering for you, but it only requires you to keep your mouth shut about who you were, and what you did with me. If you want to answer people when they ask you who you are, simply tell them you are a Soul Guide. It’ll be enough.
“Still more questions or may I leave?”
“Actually, yeah.”
“Come on, let’s make this quick.”
“Okay. So… Let’s just expand a bit on the Soul Guide thing. What am I supposed to do exactly as a Soul Guide? I want to be credible if any powerful being asks me that…”
He pondered the question before answering: “In this world, I believe there is not much else to do than bringing the spirits of the dead to Tartarus, and more accurately, to Styx. Then, she brings them to Hades if they are worthy, and Hades brings them to the Fount, source of all life, where souls find a new body to use. But in fact, almost all spirits go there automatically and don’t need your intervention. It is only sometimes that this process is interrupted by a particular link between the person and the world. Some beings, like your new pony friend, actually really want to do something at the moment they die. Their mind clings to an idea so hard their spirit can’t go away from the body. And then, they get stuck here until their deed accomplishes itself by pure coincidence; or until a Soul Guide comes and takes them away.”
“Also, Soul Guides can destroy spirits, thus entirely excluding them from the cycle of reincarnation. No more questions?”
“ONE MORE THING!” I yelled, with my index raised in the air. “Why am I still a human?”
“Oh, come on. You’re not supposed to be seen by anyone under your true form, so it doesn’t really matter… However, you somehow have a point there, since you actually managed to find one of the very few sentient beings that can see you.”
He waved his arm, and a huge cloud of black smoke was raised from the ground, until it completely surrounded me. I levitated a bit, and went back down on the ground. The cloud disappeared.
“Ha. Better. Consider this your standard form, from now on! And I’m warning you: if you try to show your human form to anyone, you’ll suffer. A lot. Just like when you talk too much.”
Without bidding me adieu, he jumped on his chopper and drove through the wall.
I looked at my hands. Again, a chromed scythe and a dark gray glove appeared over them. My body was covered with an opaque black garment, so dark it did not reflect any light. I could feel cold metal against my cheeks, although I did not see anything. For some reason, the mask I knew so well was invisible to me, yet I knew it was there, I could feel it on my cheeks, and I could touch it with my scythe-less hand. It was as slick as I expected to, even though I touched it with gloves over my fingers.
“Well, that escalated quickly.”
Strangely, I could see my fingers touching the air in front of my eyes, and the gloves bending slightly on the mask’s curves; without actually feeling any pressure on my face.
This entire disguise felt like an illusion, sometimes intangible but visible, and sometimes invisible but tangible.
Behind me, a large tattered cape was flowing in the wind, grey on the inside and black on the outside. A similar hoodie appeared around my head, effectively hiding my entire body from anyone.
“Classy.”
At least, it went well with my “Soul Guide” new role.
“Meet the new me: the Angel of Death.”
A few seconds later, a ragged scroll appeared in my left hand with a green flash of light.
“Oh and by the way. I just unlocked your telekinesis ability. Prove you’re a decent Soul Guide, and bring your dead friend to Tartarus. Take care of his problems if you want, but he has to be brought to the Fount.
“PS: Tell me when you’re done, I’ll reward you.
“ – Mercury”
“What am I, a butler from outer space? Seriously... This guy is even lazier than me.
“If I knew he’d make me do that earlier, I would have told Shiny Ring my name was Alfred.”
Chapter 3 - Your Angel of Death Awaits
CHAPTER 3 – Your Angel of Death awaits
Date: 20th of February, First Year of the Game. Location: Canterlot.
“One, two, test.”
It didn't surprise me at all, but I immediatly noticed that I once again had the Phantasm’s nightmarish and echoing voice.
“Bah. My actual voice would’ve sounded weird with this costume anyway.”
Thinking of Andrea Beaumont’s smoke manipulation powers, I tried to create a smoke cloud.
“Might as well stick to the character…”
As usual with magic, it requires a bit of concentration, but I had grown used to this kind of efforts during the few months I’ve spent “living” in Ponyville. Summoning a smoke cloud was different than simply going through a wall, but it still was the same basic principle: think hard about it, and it’ll happen somehow.
A few puffs of opaque black smoke came out of the ground in seconds, and expanded into a small tornado whirling all around me. The cloud became bigger as it rose up in the air, until only my head and torso stood out of it.
“Nice. I think I know what I’ll do with this,” I thought with a large grin, hidden behind the large metallic mask now covering my face.
“He’s gonna come back anytime, he’s a nice guy, just a bit lost. Stay calm. Nothing will happen,” Shiny Ring thought to himself, trying to repress his latent paranoia. He was constantly biting his lip, and wondered what this strange being was doing out there. It had been out there for a while.
After some time, several very tiny streams of smoke came out of one of the walls.
“What the hay is this…?” the ghost asked himself, squinting his eyes and stretching his neck forward.
The smoke slowly fell on the ground, accumulating into a dark puddle that quickly grew as more smoke poured through the wall. Once it claimed a corner of the room for itself, the smoke covered the whole wall. Tiny waves of smoke sometimes gave birth to little floating clouds, slowly dissipating as they skimmed across the room.
A few seconds later, a terrifyingly sharp-looking weapon appeared from inside the smoke cloud. The smoke still moved slowly, as an extremely grave voice echoed from within. “Your Angel of Death awaits, Shiny Ring!”
His eyes opened wide, his pupils narrowed, and his mouth opened wide in fear. Shiny Ring was almost literally petrified, even though he actually would have needed a body for that. “Wh-wh-who are you? What do y-you want!” he stuttered.
At that moment, a grisly face emerged from the smoke cloud, and looked at him with an eerily lifeless glare. “I want you, Shiny Ring…”
The ghost looked in the eyes of the grey face, slowly closed his mouth and tightened his lips, before screaming in fear louder than he ever did.
As he was screaming, he suddenly stood up and ran away, bumping into almost all of the house’s furniture.
However, his escape ended quickly, since he actually ran into a bedroom with no way out.
“What to do, what to do! Quick! The bed!” the ghostly pony thought to himself, before trying to sneak under the bed.
Once he was in place, he looked at the door. Some tiny streams of smoke were already making their way towards the door. He put his hooves on his closed eyelids, and waited. The noise of steps could be heard.
Tap.
Tap.
Tap.
Tap.
The steps were slow. The interval between each of them was several seconds long.
Tap.
Tap.
Tap.
Tap.
Finally, the room was completely silent.
“Huh? Why’d it stop?” Shiny Ring wondered. He slowly opened one eye and moved his hoof out of the way.
A few inches away from his face, was a pair of grey boots.
“Please, by Celestia, go away,” he prayed, while repressing the urge to bite his hoof.
“Boo.”
His ear turned by itself. He carefully moved his head to the right, eyes also turned to the right.
As soon as he saw the dreaded face in his peripheral vision, he screamed again, and tried to run away.
Unfortunately for him, he was under a solid object.
BONK!
I let out a hearty laugh after I finished scaring that poor pony to death. It was priceless.
“Hoo yeah. I haven’t scared anyone like this in a long time,” I thought, relinquishing my memories of hundreds of similar pranks, which my little brother put up with during our childhoods.
“Ah, I guess I have to wake him up now. Let’s do this.”
I crouched and put my hand under the bed, grabbed a hoof randomly, and pulled him out of there.
He was still knocked out, so I moved him in a clear area of the room, put him on his flank, sat on his ribs, and slapped him until he woke up.
“Hey, stop doing that!”
He slowly opened his eyes, trying to block my slaps with a hoof, and turned his face up. “What do you want and who – AIIIIYAAAAAAAAAAA!”
Understanding that he was pinned to the ground; the ghost decided to move frantically, while screaming louder and louder.
I put my hand on his mouth and shut it manually. Although he kept emitting a low sound and looked at me with bulging eyes, it was much easier for me to talk.
“Hey, it’s me. JC. You remember? I, err, have a new job now, and just couldn’t refrain from making a joke with this new ‘uniform’,” I said, pinching the costume with my glove. “You’re alright?”
I slowly released the pressure in my hand as his screaming stopped. He slowly nodded, unsure of what to do, a fire burning in his eyes. I stood up, and helped him to stand up too.
He frowned, outraged. “Why did you do this to me?! I almost had a heart attack, idiot! Buck you! You don’t do that kind of joke to strangers!”
“It was funny. Well, not that much for you apparently; but it was too tempting. And I don’t really think you can have heart attacks anyway.”
I sat on the bed and patted his shoulder to grab his attention.
“Sooo… My new job is, uh… I have to carry lost souls into Tartarus.”
“Huh? You? And why are you telling me this?” he asked, clearly not believing me.
“During my ‘travels’, I met someone very important. That ‘someone’ brought me here, and gave me this job. It’s all I can say… If I tell you, I’ll fall into a coma just like earlier.
“Oh and by the way, this job is the reason I can see the rope floating behind you while you can’t.”
“Say, I wouldn’t happen to be the kind of souls you have to bring there, would I?” he asked with a leery look.
I scratched the back of my head. “Actually, you are. The important person I mentioned even ordered me to bring you to Tartarus.”
“No! I died for a reason, I won't go!” the pony shouted, angrier than I’ve ever imagined he could be.
“Huh. So you knew a few things after all. Tell me about your past, then. You know, my ‘boss’ told me it was okay to help you, as long as you end up where you belong once everything is settled. But if you try to get away, I’ll catch you and carry you to Tartarus myself. So please, let’s do things the easy way. I don't want to hurt you.”
“Let it be this way, then.”
He was still angry. He took a long breath, which is quite surprising for a ghost, and started speaking.
“Before I died, I was a bit famous. Every self-respecting noble in Canterlot simply had to have one of my jewels… I don’t remember how it really started, but the result was that after a few years of being completely unknown, I became quickly famous, although I had a really tiny shop. I made engagement rings for a few nobles, necklaces, and even a few exotic things like glasses or manepins. And then… Something happened, and I appeared around here. I forgot where my shop was, what I was doing, and why I died. After a while, some memories came back, but the majority of them is still out of reach.”
I nodded. “Uh-uh. So, first things first, how do we find where you lived? Since you died at least decades ago, your shop probably has disappeared. Plus, Canterlot is huge, and it’d be really long to find it if it still exists.
“Maybe you remember something about what you did? Like a particular place where you went often?”
He seemed to have a few memories resurfacing, but dismissed them. “Nah… Except from a library and the house where I lived when I was young, I don’t remember much.”
“So much for that idea.”
I paused for a few minutes, before thinking of something else. “Hey. You said you were famous, right?”
Intrigued, Shiny Ring replied: “More or less. Why?”
“If we can track one of your clients, maybe he can tell us where he bought his jewel.”
“It would be a good idea if I actually remembered who my clients were,” he said after shrugging a little.
“I believe I know someone who might have been one of your clients.”
“How do you know that?” Shiny Ring looked at me, incredulous.
“I have my ways. I can't tell you about it.”
“Fancy Pants, here I come.”
We spent the rest of the day wandering through the parts of the city where high-class ponies hung around the most. We looked for popular events susceptible of interesting Fancy Pants, such as galas, art expositions and races.
The day passed, and we didn’t find Fancy Pants; or even his poser friend, Fleur De Lis. Shiny Ring looked more and more worried. Around eight o’clock, he stopped walking and sat on the ground.
“JC… You know… I think I did something terrible when I was still alive. The things I’ve forgotten… They were important, but they made me suffer. I think that… I chose to forget. It was purely intentional. I have the feeling I did something very wrong.”
“We’ll see that later. Don’t worry. Either way, I certainly won’t have to leave you to rot in Tartarus. You’re a nice guy. I think.”
“I hope.”
Date: 21st of February, First Year of the Game. Location: Canterlot.
Once again, we spent the entire day searching for Fancy Pants. No luck, until we heard some ponies discussing about a “fabulous” reception at the castle. Knowing the guy, it was certain he would be there.
We headed to the castle, found the area where the reception was to be held, and waited, in the middle of a bunch of tables, surrounded by food I couldn’t eat. I almost felt hungry.
Around twenty o’clock, the reception started, and Fancy Pants showed up. However, I didn’t want to talk to him in public; and I had no means of interaction anyway.
We followed him through the reception, until everyone left. Then, we followed him through the sleeping capital.
He opened the door of a gigantic manor located in a corner of the city where we were earlier, and went straight for bed.
Inside, there were carpets and other kinds of decorations everywhere. He had an old wooden table in a corner, with ancient and refined chairs around. A golden clock was leaning against a wall near the door. There even were chandeliers in every room… This mansion looked like a hybrid of Versailles and the 10 Downing Street.
And, surprisingly, not a single maid was to be seen. They didn’t live there, or Fancy Pants was really conscientious when cleaning his house.
I looked around for paper, ink, quills, pencils… Whatever that could help me write. There was nothing on the ground floor, so I went upstairs, in Fancy Pants’ room. Shiny Ring stayed with me the whole time, unsettled by my carelessness.
“We shouldn’t do this. It’s illegal!” he constantly repeated.
“You’re dead, idiot. No one will put you in jail.”
“You’re the idiot. Keep on being disrespectful and I’ll just go away. I don’t need you,” he retorted.
“Remember that I have this,” I said, pulling the leash to remind him about it.
He glared at me and didn’t answer.
Inside the room, Fancy Pants was sleeping in his large bed, wearing pajamas and a nightcap. He was classy, even when sleeping.
I didn’t want him to wake up immediately, so I had to be careful when opening the drawers of his desk. Trying telekinesis for the first time, I concentrated on levitating a small paperweight before trying to open the drawer. Slowly, the old wooden paperweight rose in the air silently, and moved where I wanted it to move.
A minute later, I was opening the drawers, not exactly silently; but Fancy Pants still slept through it. Inside of them were paper, quills, and ink.
I wrote a message with the quills. It was surprisingly easy. In fact, all I had to do was to levitate the quill while concentrating on the words I wanted to write. I didn’t even have to look at the quill. That was practical; because it was so dark I didn’t even see how it was written.
When the letter was ready, I made it levitate over the sleeping pony.
Shiny Ring and I both moved on a side of the bed; and I tugged on the blanket with telepathy. Doing two things at the same time was surprisingly hard, and I couldn’t refrain myself from moving the letter in the same direction as the blanket. However, it did have the expected effect, and Fancy Pants woke up.
“Mmgnph. Curse this blanket. It always tries to escape me,” Fancy Pants sighed, as he pulled it back in place.
That’s when I swatted him in the face with my letter.
“Ow! What is this trickery?”
He sat on the side of his bed, took the letter in one hoof and went to his desk. Then, he read the letter aloud.
“Dear Mr. Fancy Pants, I am currently in this room, with you, and with someone else who needs your help. What?”
He turned his head around, looked everywhere, found nothing, and resumed reading. “What kind of childish prank is this…”
“You may call me JC. I bring souls to their rebirth, and I need your help because I cannot move in the physical world myself, or talk to people directly. I have to use indirect means of communication, such as this letter.” He looked around again, not believing what he was reading.
“I have with me the lost soul of a pony whose name was Shiny Ring. He has died long ago, but we need to find out what happened to him, since he does not remember anything. He used to make jewelry, and became famous for that. I know you are one of the most respectable ponies around here – well yes, I am – and thought you might have been one of his clients while he was still alive. If this is the case, please tell us if you know where his store was. It is extremely important.
“Sincerely yours,
“JC.”
“Well, that's one way to make an introduction.” He looked amazed, but clueless. However, a quill levitating on its own in front of his face was enough to make him react, since there was no colored halo around the quill. “Who’s doing this! Who! Is! Doing this!” Fancy Pants yelled, before falling backwards.
I wrote and moved the letter in front of his face.
“It’s JC. I can hear you, and see you. If you know, say it, and lead us there,” he read, still lying on the ground.
“So… I’m speaking to a spirit of some sorts who can’t show himself. It is certainly strange. Could you prove your existence in some way? ”
“I know magic that even Celestia does not master. May I use it on you? I'm sure you'd look smashing with eight legs.”
The unicorn gulped in embarrassment, tugging on his night shirt's collar. “That won't be necessary, dear friend. I am quite inclined to believe you are actually there after all. Ha ha ha...”
Shaking off his fake laughter, he quickly added: “As for your little problem... For your information, I actually do have one of these wonderful jewels. It’s a monocle with embedded gems. I bought it so long ago, though… I heard something happened to the shop owner, but I had no idea it was so important. But why would I help you? I have other things to do, you know. Important things. Ponies belonging to the high society, like myself, have duties far more significant than helping poor souls in need.”
The quill danced on the paper one more time. “If you do it, I promise I won’t take your soul to Tartarus. And I’ll also make it worth your while later.”
Suddenly more enthusiastic and displaying an embarrassed smile, he exclaimed: “Haha, well then! I will guide you there, for the fashion and all things holy! I only have to reschedule my agenda, my lord.”
The fashion lord immediately stood up, brushed his pajamas with a hoof, and asked me if he could sleep.
“You can resume sleeping, but we have to be at the store tomorrow morning.”
He agreed, and went back to bed. “I know this is for a good cause, but if you can, please, wait for me in the living room.”
He looked unsettled by the idea of sleeping with ghosts.
I wrote on the letter, showed him, and we exited the room.
“Hey… JC… You were great at convincing him, but... What happens if there’s no store anymore?” Shiny Ring asked, hesitant.
“I don’t know. You said you didn’t really want to know what you did, earlier. Are you still thinking about that? I can also bring you straight to the Fount and forget about this, you know.”
He remained silent and waited for the sunrise.
Date: 22nd of February, First Year of the Game.
Before going, I told Fancy Pants to take a saddlebag. Inside, we put paper, a quill and ink, as well as the old monocle he bought at Shiny Ring’s shop so long ago.
Fancy Pants led us through the urban maze without ever getting lost. It was quite surprising, because I could swear we’ve been through the same street several times, and this happened more than a few times. About an hour after leaving his house, we reached a remote alley, dirty and narrow. At the end of it was an old building with a showcase on the ground floor, so dirty it was almost opaque.
Above the showcase was an old sign, worn out by time and a lack of maintenance.
Faint letters still were readable: “The Blue Ring”.
Shiny Ring looked at the sign, and his eyes widened. “This is it. This is what we were looking for.”
I levitated a paper sheet that was resting in Fancy Pants’ saddlebag, and wrote: “This is the right place. Do you want to come inside? It would be easier for us.”
“I will accompany you gladly! It is my duty to help noble souls such as the fine artist your friend is.”
The ghost almost looked like he was embarrassed by the compliment. It was hard to tell, but I could swear there was a faint pink halo around his colorless cheeks.
Fancy Pants walked towards the door and knocked a few times. A minute later, an elderly mare opened the door. She was bluer than blue, and her skin featured more wrinkles than that of Granny Smith. On her flank, a teardrop-shaped sapphire was displayed.
“Of course, a gemstone…”
“Greetings. What can I do for you?” she asked Fancy Pants.
I looked at Shiny Ring. He seemed to be experiencing a real nightmare: eyes wide open, mouth clenched, teeth showing, and occasional muscle jerks over all his body, as much as one could call it a body.
“Good morning, milady. May I enter?” Fancy Pants asked, bowing in front of the shop owner.
“Sure. Come in, make yourself at home,” the smiling old mare said.
Fancy Pants went inside, but Shiny Ring didn’t move an inch. I had to haul him around with my only non-lethal hand to get inside. He truly was in a trance.
The gentlepony took the monocle out of his saddlebag, and put it on the counter.
“This, dear madam, is a monocle that I bought here, no less than thirty years ago. Yesterday, someone… Unexpected, to say the least, talked to me, hoping that I could help him to discover something.”
She looked at the monocle, turned it around, took a magnifying glass, and looked at one of the rims.
“Indeed, this monocle has been made here. What do you want me to do with it?”
Fancy Pants cleared his throat before answering. “Well, you see; the persons I have discussed with seem to be dead. Please keep in mind that I know it is quite far-fetched, and that I honestly don't really believe it myself. I say; it might even be a prank. However, there is still a chance that this is real, so I will explain what happened. During the night, while I was sleeping, someone wrote letters inside my bedroom and woke me up. The letters explained that in my bedroom, two people were with me: a dead person who needs my help, and some sort of outlandish entity I do not fully understand. The latter calls himself JC, and the former apparently is named Shiny Ring.”
The mare looked at him with a pained expression. “If this is a joke, well done, you have ruined my mood.”
She immediately grabbed a flask from under the counter, and emptied it in a few seconds.
“Now go away before I call the guards,” she said while wiping her mouth with a hoof and pointing Fancy Pants with the other, that was still holding the flask.
The costumed pony did not understand. “No, wait, for Celestia's sake! I can assure you I-“
“GO AWAY!” she shouted, tears appearing in her eyes, and tried to push Fancy Pants outside of the shop.
Shiny Ring was still petrified. I decided to act quickly, took a sheet of paper and a quill with a few droplets of ink, and I started to write, in the middle of the shop.
Fancy Pants, panicking, noticed the paper floating in the air. “Look! He is here! Writing a letter! Look, I say! Ouch!”
When the old mare saw the floating quill writing on the sheet without any colored aura surrounding it, she suddenly stopped fighting Fancy Pants; who simply could not lift a hoof against a lady, and stood there, immobile.
“What… the… hay… is… this?”
The venerable mare slowly walked towards the paper, suspicious, and read it aloud.
“What this pony said is true. I have Shiny Ring with me, and am ready to guide him where his soul belongs. I am the one who asked the pony you were beating up to intervene, because I am not able to talk, only to use magic acting on the physical world; and I thought it would be easier if he helped us. Now, if you would tell us what happened, I would be grateful. Shiny Ring is amnesic, and we need to know why his soul is still there after all this time.”
Her head slowly tilted sideways as her eyes widened. “Horseapples.”
The old mare collapsed.
I wrote a message to Fancy Pants, telling him to bring her to her bed. He lifted her and tried to find a bedroom while I took care of Shiny Ring, still paralyzed. I had to wait a few minutes, before he snapped out of his trance by himself and began crying.
“I remember it all… I remember, and it was horrible.”
I was there, supposed to be a powerful guardian, and a crying pony was all it took to destabilize me. Asking him to tell me everything would probably make him angry, just standing there wasn’t going to help me…
So I sat down, patted his head and back like I used to do with my dogs, and waited for him to calm down. I probably looked ridiculous, but I didn’t know what else to do. It didn't seem to bother him anyway, he was too busy thinking about what happened.
In the afternoon, while the blue mare was still sleeping, Shiny Ring decided to talk.
“It’s… It’s my fault if she’s like… this. I remember now. Before I died, we had… problems. We had been living together for a few years, and we worked together too.”
He looked at me, and added with a sad smile: “Shiny Ring and Sky Blue associates… Those were the good times. But a few years after it all started, since we both were single, we started dating. It went well for a while, but at some point, she told me she was pregnant. I was really happy, you know. I was about to marry her. And then… I don’t know why, if it was her hormones or something, but she became really exigent.”
He sighed, and resumed his monologue: “I still remember our last conversation perfectly: ‘Hi honey, what’s that?’; ‘Oh, it’s just one of my last orders, for the princesses. They don’t want anything too fancy, so I don’t need any precious stones.’; ‘Nice. Will you be doing something special for the baby and me, then?’”
“And then, I answered the stupidest thing I could answer: ‘Maybe, maybe not.’
“I was so busy that I actually didn’t really listen to her question. And the answer angered her so much that she slapped me, yelled at me ‘I never want to see you again, idiot’ and left.”
Although no one could see them, my eyes widened. “Whoa, wait, she left for THIS?”
“I thought it was just a mood swing or something. And actually, I had something for her. I made an engagement earring before starting to work on the royal order… So I waited. Three days later, she still wasn’t there. A week later, she still wasn’t there. I asked everyone around here, and absolutely no one knew where she was. I asked her family, and they didn’t know where she was.”
“After that week ended, one night, I was so miserable that all I could think about was to get myself drunk. Then, I decided life wasn’t worth it without the mare I loved, and I did... I wrote a letter, put the ring with it, grabbed a few bottles of alcohol that I drank too, and… I… I… I did what ponies do when they have a stool, rope, and no more will to live.”
“But that didn’t end here, because I, or well, my soul was still there. Two weeks later, she came back home, opened the door, and saw the letter. I was there; dead, but there, and I saw everything. By the end of the letter, she was crying. And when she saw my body, rotting away in the storage room, she fainted.”
“A few days later, all her family was there, my body was buried, and I wanted to go burn in Tartarus.”
“After that, she became completely alcoholic. That killed the baby, and she fell into a severe depression. And… It was all my fault. I was condemned to watch her destroy herself, because I did something stupid.”
I let him with his memories for a few minutes before asking: “So… Why did she go away for so long?”
He looked at me, wailing, and told me that he didn’t know.
“It’s okay… We’ll find it out soon enough.”
Soon, the night fell. Sky Blue woke up, and Fancy Pants brought her back to the shop, where we were waiting. She looked at peace with herself, definitely serene.
Her eyes closed, she sat on the ground and said: “Shiny Ring, dear… If you can hear me… I’m sorry. It’s my fault. I shouldn’t have gone away.”
Upon hearing that, he started crying again. He even tried to hug her, but that only reminded him that he was dead, and he cried even more after that.
“Sigh… I guess I’ll have to speak for him. Again.”
I levitated everything out of Fancy Pants’ saddlebags, and wrote a letter that I showed to Sky Blue. “Shiny Ring hears you, indeed, and this affirmation caused him to cry again. Please, stop doing this. I can’t even communicate properly with him now.”
“Tell me… What does he look like? I want to be sure it’s him… This reaction sounds typical of him, but it’s been so long…”
“He’s a unicorn with a rather scruffy yet elegant mane, and a gold ring mark on his flank. I don’t see anything else, he’s mostly see-through.”
“All right… That’ll do, it’s him, there’s no doubt about it.” Sky Blue wiped a tear from her eyes and asked me what I wanted from her.
“I need you to tell me some things regarding his death. He told me that he did not know why you were gone. What happened?”
She closed her eyes again. “I was tired of all the work we had, and wanted a vacation. He did not listen to me when I told him about that… He was always neck-deep in his work. The last weeks of his life made me crazy, and, one day, I decided that I needed these holidays. So I wrote a message that I left on our bed, since he wouldn’t ever listen to me; I took a train to Manehattan, and I visited an old friend that he did not know very well. When I came back two weeks later, he was dead.”
By the end of her story, Shiny Ring had stopped crying. “I-I. But! I didn’t find any letter!”
I wrote that on another piece of paper and levitated it to Sky Blue.
“I found it about a month after I found you. It was under the wardrobe, near the bed,” she answered, her eyes fixated on her forehooves. “In fact, I left the window open when I exited the house, and the wind pushed the paper I guess…” the mare said, gloom oozing from her tone.
They both remained silent for a few minutes, remembering past times.
Sky Blue stood up after a while, and waved her hoof around. “You see all this? I am tired of it. I am tired of living alone in a place that was made for two people. I never ceased to love you, Shiny Ring, and never wanted anyone else but you. It may sound crazy, but I want to join you. Go away with you. Nothing holds me here…”
Her husband was not happy. “I don’t want her to do this… Please, do something.”
Sky Blue winced, before adding: “Our son died because of my foolishness, my family almost never speaks to me nowadays, and I cut off ties with all my old friends, slowly decaying through the years because of this,” she said, before punching her flask.
Fancy Pants, who witnessed the whole scene, looked baffled. “I say, why would anyone commit such a gruesome act on their own person for the sake of someone else who already has passed away?” he asked, not quite understanding the situation.
The blue mare faced him and shouted: “You don’t know what I’ve been through! I killed my son with alcohol, dammit! I killed my family because I was careless and selfish! Is that not enough?” she said, her hooves on her chest.
She then proceeded to run off to her room, weeping.
I took a paper from the saddlebags. “Smooth move, gentlecolt.”
Fancy Pants lowered his ears and looked at the ground, as if he had just been scolded by his furious mother. “Sorry.”
I wrote another paper for him, and showed him. “Thanks for all your help so far, Sir Fancy. You were a good guide, most of the time. Someday, I will find a way to reward you. Right now, I can’t. I won’t forget what you did for me and I really appreciated your company; but I think it is now time to go back to your own life. I can handle the rest myself, and I am sure you have important things to do.”
He read, concerned, and finally said: “This is a good bye, then?”
I wrote again. “Yes, it is. No more, no less. Oh, and, keep this paper here if you want, as a reminder or a proof that I exist, but please leave the blank ones. I need them.”
He nodded solemnly. “Good bye.”
Sir Fancy Pants emptied his saddlebags on a nearby table, took my letters and exited the house, guilt underlying his neutral expression.
Before she did anything stupid, I headed to Sky Blue’s room while levitating everything I needed to write.
“Shiny Ring does not want you to commit suicide like he did. He values you too much for that. However, I do not think he is right, in the sense that you have the right to dispose of your own life. I know that life can be more painful than death sometimes... I've had a moment like that in my life, although it was not nearly as important as what happened to you. I was naught but an overreacting child, but I now know how you feel when you want to die. And no one has the right to deny you the death you want, if you have a real reason to wish for it. If you want him to understand, you have to show him why you want to stop living.
“And, you know, I think I can help you to die painlessly… But before doing anything, I will also require you to say goodbye to everyone you know; to let them know why you chose to leave this life. I do not want your family to suffer and mourn your loss. I want them to know that it will make you happier, if it really is the case.”
After reading the letter, the old mare, a few droplets of salty water trickling down on her cheeks, simply said: “Thank you. It will be done.”
She still did not believe this was real, but she was ready to do anything to see her husband again.
Chapter 4 - Death is not the End
CHAPTER 4 – Death is not the End
Date: 29th of February, First Year of the Game. Location: Canterlot.
All the family and long-lost friends of Sky Blue have come to Canterlot. She asked all of them to come for a few days. During the whole week, the elderly mare took her time to talk with them, to relinquish past memories, to have fun... They didn't know why they were there, but they enjoyed it.
She also required me to translate lots and lots of dialogues between her and Shiny Ring over the week. From idle chatter to old memories, I saw it all. And, slowly, I could understand why they loved each other so much. They also got to know me better, even if I only wrote about myself occasionally and didn’t tell them about anything related to Earth.
The evening of the last day came quickly, and it was time for the speech she had planned since the beginning of the week. Everyone went in the tiny garden behind her shop. In there, was a crowd of around 20 ponies, as well as a diamond dog who was one of her gem suppliers.
The blue mare stepped up on an improvised platform made wooden planks and wood logs, cleared her throat, and addressed the audience.
“Dear friends and family.
“Today, we are reunited here for a very special occasion. You wondered why I made you come here, from as far as Mustang… Well, I have learned an important lesson during my life, and I want to share it with you,” she said before breathing deeply for a few seconds.
“A few months ago, I was spending most of the weekdays slightly drunk behind a counter, and my weekends completely drunk in my bed.”
The audience murmured in surprise.
“Why would I do this, you would say.
“The answer lies in my past. A past that some of you know already; but it's not the case of everyone here. In short, I made a mistake and sabotaged my own life, and now, all that remains is you lot. You’re the only ones I care about... Yet, something more important is waiting for me elsewhere. Something that I destroyed.”
“You see… Some say that family is the most important thing in life. Here, in front of me, I have a family. Yet, its members are not as important to me as some ponies believe. This family did give me life, a shelter, affection. And my friends did too, albeit on a different scale. We had fun; we rested on each other’s shoulder during hard times; we felt like siblings sometimes. With others, like you Scraper,” she said while pointing the diamond dog, “it was more of a business relation, tinted with friendship. It was nice, and in the end you were much more of a true friend than a simple colleague…”
Closing her eyes in regret, she kept speaking. “But this is not what life is about. Family and friends, although they are important, do not make a life perfect,” she said, before opening her eyes again.
“That thing we need to live fully, my friends, is love. More powerful than friendship and family bonds, it becomes our sole reason to live, once we experience it in its purest form.
“This is what I felt, long ago, when I was living with my sweetheart Shiny Ring.”
“The problem with love is that when we lose it, it is not possible to overcome the pain that ensues. Not without great efforts.”
Tears were brimming in her eyes, but she kept on talking with a trembling voice.
“I was not able to do these efforts, and the pain stayed in my mind ever since. My life became hell. I was barely surviving with what I could sell, I was responsible for the deaths of both my child and my lover, and I never could forgive myself.”
“Today, finally, I have the occasion to end this suffering, and to live another life with the one I loved.
“A few days ago, I met what appears to be a god ruling the spirits of the dead; and he holds the soul of my husband, who has stayed near me ever since he died. He gave me a choice, and I chose to join Shiny Ring. I chose to die painlessly, surrounded by people I loved. Today will be my last day on Equestria. And I do not regret it. I have you by my side now, and when I will leave, I will have Shiny Ring by my side. It is the best passing I could ever dream of experiencing.”
Most of the audience frowned, saddened by the announcement. Some of them muttered: “She can't be serious...”
After her speech ended, I gave her a paper with lyrics and a request.
“I want to try something. This is a song I like. It's called ‘Death is not the end’. It fits this whole situation rather well, so, if you can, sing it.”
She nodded in agreement, and cleared her throat before singing. “This one is for you,” she said, looking at the crowd.
When she started singing, a piano instantly accompanied her, its sound coming from everywhere at the same time. I was not really surprised; I knew their world was weird sometimes… But this phenomenon was interesting, to say the least.
Her voice was not as pure as that of the original singer, but the instruments were exactly the same as those I could listen to on Earth. And the lyrics retained their meaning nonetheless: she was in despair, she had lived a long life, and dying wasn't something she was afraid of. Death was freedom to her.
Shiny Ring was crying after the second verse. He probably must’ve felt like he had been stabbed in the chest.
I know that kind of pain. It happened to me, a few times. I was not a man who cried for nothing, but when it did happen, I couldn’t control myself.
She stopped singing after the fourth verse. It was all I remembered from the lyrics. Some people in the audience were trying to retain obvious tears, and others silently listened, their heads resting on their own loved ones.
Sky Blue took a while to regain her composure. She forcefully smiled, with tears in her eyes, and simply said “Good bye” to the audience. The ponies stayed on their seats, without understanding what was happening. Then, she headed to her bedroom and laid herself down on her bed after locking the door.
“I am ready.”
She took one final breath, closed her eyes, and waited.
Shiny Ring was watching her silently from a corner of the room, not daring to even accidentally disturb me.
On the side of the bed, I was trying to focus. It was hard, much harder than levitation. I had to concentrate on the idea of seeing her Soul Link for almost thirty seconds, before managing to catch a glimpse of it. It flickered several times. The mare's family was already trying to open the door at that point, and they were quite noisy.
Sky Blue didn’t care about all this. She waited for something like that during several decades; it wasn’t like she couldn’t wait a few more seconds.
Finally, after a few minutes, I managed to see the Link constantly. It was tied in a knot, going all over her body. “I guess cutting it will be bad.”
Undoing that knot without my right hand was hard, but the knot was fairly simple. The constant hits on the door didn't make my task easy but I managed to pull the rope regardless. Once the knot was undone, I tugged on the rope one last time.
While I was pulling the Link, a ghostly version of Sky Blue appeared, slowly dissociating from her body. The room was illuminated during the process. That was noticed by her family members, who tried to bust the door open in panic.
The only thing I heard was a slow expiration, and then, a much younger version of Sky Blue was there, with us.
It was done. I took a life. I didn’t feel any particular emotion at that moment, but I knew that some time later, this emotional dam would backfire on me.
A few seconds later, she opened her eyes, turned her face and saw me. Her eyes opened wide and she bit her lip for a second, but she didn’t let her fear dictate her actions. “Is that you… JC?”
“Yes. It’s me. But it is not for me that you are here. Look over there,” I said with a knot in my throat, as I was pointing to the corner of the room.
Sky Blue slowly turned her head, and saw a cowering Shiny Ring sitting in a corner, unsure of what to do.
“So it was true…”
She jumped to the corner of the room and slapped him.
He looked at her, stunned, before asking: “Why?”
She didn’t answer, put her hooves on his cheeks, and kissed him.
During that moment, her siblings finally managed to open the door, oblivious to the scene occurring in the Soul Dimension. One of them stepped forward and checked the pulse on her body. She was dead.
The brother declared: “I hope it really was what she wanted,” before leaving the room, weeping silently despite her speech.
After what seemed like eternity to me, the two detached themselves, and sat down. Sky Blue looked at her brother going out of the room, and looked worried for a second. But it didn’t last long. Shiny Ring was more important to her.
“What you did was stupid. Before we go, promise me one thing: don’t ever do anything like this again. You know I love you too much to leave you like this,” she said with a motherly tone.
Shiny Ring looked straight in her eyes and agreed silently, his ears turned back.
He then turned his head to face me and asked: “What do we do now?”
I scratched my head in embarrassment, before admitting: “Well, in fact, I don’t really know. I’ll have to ask my boss.”
Sky Blue looked at me, bedazzled. “Really?”
“Yeah, really. Now please stay here, I’ll send ‘him’ a message,” I said while going through the wall.
Once in a room where I was alone, I focused on sending a message to Mercury. Instead of appearing himself, he sent me a scroll.
“There’s an autopilot on the chopper, idiot. Oh and, you don’t have the right to push the buttons.”
“Uh-uh. So I was supposed to summon it somehow. Well, time for some experiments.”
I walked into the street, where some of Sky Blue’s friends were discussing, some of them crying on others’ shoulders.
I closed my eyes to make everything easier, since summoning something certainly wouldn’t be easy; and focused on the chopper appearing from thin air in front of me. It took several minutes, but I managed to get it to show up.
Oddly enough, the chopper didn’t appear in thin air as I imagined it would. In fact, a bunch of smoke clouds detached from the heap of it that was hovering around me, and moved to the side. It took the shape of a big circle floating in the air. The chopper came through the smoke passageway, blinding me with its chromed coating’s reflections. It drove itself for a few meters, before putting its own crutch on the ground and shutting the engine off.
“So, it is half conscious or something?”
Pondering on what this behavior implied, I walked back to the room where Shiny Ring and Sky Blue were. I went through the door, and found them making out again.
I tapped on the ground with a foot. “We’re going. Now.”
They both looked at me with pleading eyes, as if they both were puppies desperate for an owner, waiting in a miserable pet shop. Too bad I didn’t have visible eyes... They couldn’t win this fight.
A few minutes later, once they were sitting on the bike, I sat on the front of the saddle, started the engine, and examined the display in the middle. There were several buttons that I never saw on my bikes on Earth.
What could I do but to try them one after the other?
“Fuck the instructions. If there is a ‘red button’, I’m going to push it now.”
The first button changed the bike’s color from that flashy chrome to a black matte; the second made the saddle higher; the third removed the top case… Needless to say, I was a bit confused. But these buttons weren’t the most confusing ones.
The fourth button I pressed was different. I heard a click, and we were all surrounded by smoke for a second.
Shiny Ring tapped on my shoulder. “What's happening?”
I whispered: “I don't know!”
Strangely, the voice seemed to come from my chest, instead of coming from my mask.
That’s when the ponies in the street looked at me, straight in my eyes.
A mare almost silently asked: "What the hay is this thing? Who is that?"
She was standing in front of the bike, looking straight into my torso, as if it was more interesting than my iron mask.
I waved my hand and said: “Hello!”
Her mane straightened suddenly and she jumped back slightly, before I noticed that I was waving the scythe at her face.
“Oh, sorry.”
When I leapt off of the bike, I understood what was wrong. Instead of hearing two feet bumping on the ground, I heard four distinct hooves. Their noise resonated in my ears during a half of a second that seemed like eternity to me; and suddenly the world sped up and caught up with my brain.
When I looked down, I was more than surprised. My body was much more transparent than usual, and a very tall pony in a black costume was at the same place as me, my legs intersecting with his torso. I tried moving my arms a bit, and he did exacty the same thing with his legs. When I spoke, the voice came from him instead of from me. When I walked with my two legs, he walked with his four legs.
The guests were bewildered as to who this strange pony was, and they found his gestures as strange as ridiculous; but since he wasn't on the bike anymore, they saw the two ghosts behind: Shiny Ring and Sky Blue, slightly see-through but still technically there. The ponies very soon stopped eyeing the black stranger and contemplated their dead acquaintances, now apparently among them once again.
Sky Blue intervened, hoping to ease their understanding of the situation: “It’s me, my friends!”
They couldn’t believe it. She was dead, and yet she talked to them exactly like she did a few minutes earlier.
One of her brothers came out of the house, alerted by the screams of a few ponies in the street, and suddenly stopped walking. “It was all true...” was all he could say, before seeing me and bowing down.
I gestured towards him with my hands, and the pony under me did the same thing with his foreleg. I spoke, and it was the pony's voice that could be heard. “Please, don’t do this… I am not a god. Don’t revere me. I am a Soul Guide, a simple messenger.”
He stood up, still visibly afraid of the figure facing him, and asked: “What will happen to her?”
Once again, the words I uttered did not exit my own mouth, but that of the pony under me. “I will lead her to the source of all life, and her soul will be renewed. She will live another life, under another name, in another body. But, hopefully, she will live that new life in company of the stallion for whom she abandoned this life.
“Do not be sad for her. Be happy, as she will leave here all her sorrows, and build something new. Live your own life fully, and keep her in your memories. It is all that I ask from you. Remember her as she was, and remember that her sacrifice was her own choice.”
“Heh. I’m starting to like this ‘wise man’ thing. The ‘eloquence bonus’ is awesome. But this weird pony puppet... I'm going to have to ask Mercury about it.”
By then, all of the guests were in the street, ogling at the two ghosts still sitting on the strange machine.
Sky Blue spoke up after a while. “When I said ‘Good bye’, I meant it. I am happy that way. Do not make me regret it, please.”
Her family nodded in acceptance, as well as most of the other guests.
I climbed on the bike once again, as well as the pony under me, and he addressed them one last time while copying every single one of my gestures.
“Remember. Enjoy your life the best way you can. Not everyone will have the chance I gave her.”
The black pony and I both slowly turned the mutant bike towards the other end of the street, and clumsily turned the throttle with telekinesis.
“Fucking scythe. I can’t drive with this.”
Sky Blue and Shiny Ring looked back at their friends one last time.
When I accelerated, the guests’ haircuts were ruined by a powerful wind blow.
My smoke aura outpaced the bike a few seconds after and rose up, creating a dark wall of fog.
We heard a cracking noise, and suddenly, there was nothing but blackness around us.
Date: 29th of February, First Year of the Game. Location: Tartarus.
The motorbike came to a halt on a rocky terrain, in front of a massive wooden gate encrusted in a black wall of polished stone. The black stone wall was surrounded by an endless void. It reflected the chopper’s lights as well as a mirror, and it showed me that the pony had disappeared.
Shiny Ring and Sky Blue were terrified by the ominous door. They both asked: “What was that pony we saw there?”
“I don't know! Now stop asking me questions, I'm as confused as you are.” However, my mask did not show anything, as usual.
Seeing as there was no intercom, I tried to honk with the motorbike.
“Here goes nothing…”
A sound that you would have expected from a heavy-duty truck came out of the bike.
Slowly, the gate opened, creaking slightly in the process. Behind it, I could see a small yard with strange plants on one side, famished animals on the other, and a mansion in the middle. Standing in the doorframe was a woman wearing a simple white toga and a golden belt.
I drove slowly to the middle of the yard and jumped out of the bike. As I pointed my arms backwards, I declared: “You two, don’t go anywhere.”
I walked to the door and approached the woman. She stared at me until I reached the stairs, before asking me with a disdainful tone: “And who might you be exactly?”
“The pizza guy,” I said, my mask remaining expressionless.
The woman smirked. “Nah, seriously. Who are you?”
“Mercury sent me. He said I was a Soul Guide now. But I didn’t really have any instructions… And you are… Styx, I presume?”
“Correct. And you are right in the middle of my domain. Now, why did Mercury send you here? It’s because of those two over there?” She motioned towards the two ponies.
“They have to go to the Fount. The bike brought me here, but now I don’t really know what to do.”
Styx sighed. “You really are a damned newbie… I wasn’t aware that this slacker recruited people who didn’t even know their job…”
“So… I just have to leave them here and you do the rest? He didn't tell me anything else.”
She rolled her eyes. “Yes. I’ll go and send them to Hades, and poof, they’ll be gone.”
“Perfect. But I want to see… Can I come?” I asked, hopeful.
“No. Go away. You’re a guide, not a god. Find other lost souls and let me do my job,” she retorted harshly.
“Bitch.”
I did not answer her and went back to the bike.
“It seems I will have to leave you guys here. Don’t be afraid, this person over there is in charge of everything related to your next life. I can’t follow you, though,” I said, disappointed.
Shiny Ring wasn’t exactly prone to speaking in moments like this one, so Sky Blue spoke up.
“I haven’t known you for long, but, JC, if we ever meet again, I’m sure I’ll remember you. I’m sorry I can’t stay here, but thanks for everything.”
She jumped out of the bike, clumsily stood on her back legs and hugged me. “Well, I didn’t see that one coming.”
I gave in a few seconds after and hugged her too. “I’ll miss you both.”
Shiny Ring slowly let himself slide off of the bike, and awkwardly lifted his hoof. I shaked it vigorously, and watched them walking towards Styx. They turned their heads and looked at me one last time, before Styx snapped her fingers and they all fell through the ground.
“At least they looked happy,” I thought to myself, trying to contain my emotions.
Unfortunately, I failed to do so. Less than a minute later, every repressed feeling I’ve brushed aside during the last few months showed up and kicked my mind’s fictional nuts. Sky Blue and Shiny Ring were the only people I could consider as more than strangers here; and I left them. There was no chance I would see them later either… My mask was as motionless as ever, but under it, my face was tense. I refused to let myself cry, yet my heart was screaming in pain and regret.
Interrupting me in my self-loathing session, a green flash of light illuminated the yard as a scroll appeared in my hand.
“Two souls for the price of one? Good job.
“But I told you not to touch the buttons. That will cost you dear.”
Five seconds later, I writhed in agony on the ground and felt my consciousness fading away. Again.
Date: 29th of February, First Year of the Game. Location unknown.
I woke up in a place even weirder than the one I left. Instead of the lugubrious manor that I just left, I was lying on a small floating island. It was the size of a fisherman’s boat, and surrounded by an absolute nothingness. Except this time, the nothingness was blindingly white.
I sat and looked around, but I found nothing. I was alone. And my fabulous uniform was gone, too.
I missed my right hand during all that time. It felt good to stretch these fingers again… But I didn’t miss my glasses.
That loneliness didn’t last long, though, because a few minutes later, another island floated around mine. On it, was standing Mercury.
He stared at me and frowned.
“You have disobeyed me. Do that again, and I kill you. But it won’t end there. Because after killing you, I’ll resurrect you, and kill you again. And that will last for a while. I’m not easily satisfied when I torture people.”
I swallowed, before asking: “Why was it important not to push the buttons?”
“I told you, I did not want you to be seen back there. And you have been, as well as your cargo. By no less than twenty-two sentient beings,” he said, emphasizing the number.
“Remember when we met. What did I ask you?”
“You asked me if I liked to live on the edge of the law... Right?”
“Exactly. And your answer satisfied me, back then. But what you did with the buttons was not simply walking on the edge. You outright crossed the border, and I am not happy with that. You were supposed to find another way; not to disobey. For example, I hoped that your friends on the back would have been the ones to push the buttons. That way, you would have respected the law while still getting what you wanted. You understand?”
“I guess. When you talk about the law… It’s referring to the contract too, right? After all, for example, as the article number 1134 of my Civil Code says, ‘Contracts are law to those who concluded them’. Is it what you’re talking about too?”
“That’s about it, yes. And since this contract we’re talking about has been made by a god, namely, me; it is not to be taken lightly by anyone. Is it clear?”
“Yes. Uh, I have another question. What was that Phantasm pony under me?”
“It is your image in the world of mortals. For now, it is nothing but a moving picture that does everything you do. However, when I will grant you the ability to fully cross dimensions, you will be able to become what it represented.”
“Hmm. Interesting. That 'picture' was pretty tall compared to other ponies. Now, it might sound stupid, but where are we?”
“A nifty place I created just now. I admit the decoration is quite sparse, but I had very little time to make this place. Basically it’s a dream. I told you already, I’m the god of communication; and that includes divination. And divination includes prophetic dreams. Oh and no, I won’t show you your future.”
I nodded. “Uh-uh. Got it. So, what do I do, now that I brought Shiny Ring to Styx? Keep on being a Soul Guide?”
He twirled an imaginary Dali-esque moustache with his fingers, and answered me with a nefarious look on his face.
“Now that the only guy who knew your true face is gone for good, and for no other reason than this particular knowledge… The next part of my plan shall be put into motion. Ha-ha!”
Before letting me the time to react, he exploded, and the dream world exploded with him.
Date: 29th of February, First Year of the Game. Location: Tartarus.
I woke up with a headache. Back in my costume, I could see Styx’s mansion, and a wheel of the bike.
I didn’t move because of the headache, almost tired for once. I didn’t sleep for a good while, but this time, after having actually slept, although it was by necessity, I felt really tired. My jaw kept tensing up by itself, as if I was about to yawn.
And I meditated about what Mercury said. What kind of plan could he have had exactly? Why punish me like this for a few buttons and people who didn’t know my true face?
Perhaps it was more about the lesson than the act.
Perhaps it was a way to teach me how to maximize what I could do without being unlawful.
After what seemed to last an eternity, I came to the following conclusion: “That bastard is training me to exploit the holes in the Game’s rules.”
The real question was: why would he do that? Perhaps he wanted me to be able to carry his plan to completion by myself. That was the most plausible. A Piece who could bend the game’s rules to serve its desires truly would be the most powerful of all Pieces. Even without any actual power.
After that little brainstorming session, I stood up. The headache was gone. Quickly, I jumped on the bike and started the engine. Just like last time, the smoke cloud came over me while I was driving, and with a loud bang, I suddenly arrived somewhere else.
Date: 29th of February, First Year of the Game. Location: A desert.
“Yaaaay. I love sand.”
Chapter 5 - Under the Sun
CHAPTER 5 – Under the Sun
Date: 29th of February, First Year of the Game. Location: Still a desert.
The chopper dropped me on top of a mesa in the middle of a desert and disappeared, as if it wanted me to get lost.
It probably was around fifty degrees Celsius outside. I didn’t feel it, but it certainly looked like it. The dirt was cracked everywhere, and no plants were to be seen. No wildlife either, except for a pair of birds floating in the distance. They probably were vultures.
As usual, I received a message from Mercury shortly after the chopper left me stranded here.
“You have five months to train. I have unlocked most of your abilities, from visiting dreams to dimension hopping. However, regarding dimensional travel; you cannot fully go to the Mortal Dimension. You can partially travel there, so you can be visible; but you can’t be solid for now. It’s for safety purposes. If you were hurt badly before the end of the first year, it would seriously hamper my plan. Don’t be stupid, play safe.”
“As if I was going to stand there doing nothing.”
I tossed the letter on the ground and walked around the mesa. Its surroundings were dirty and black in some places because of solidified lava trails. That meant a magma chamber was active nearby, even though I didn’t see any volcano. And the presence of a magma chamber meant I could only be outside of Equestria.
Judging by what I knew of Equestrian geography, I decided it would be best to walk south. That was the best way to know where I was. How? It’s simple. Either I would have gotten to the middle of Equestria after a while, which would have meant I had been dropped around Gem Fido; or either I would have ended up on a beach. And that would have meant… Really, I didn’t know. It could have been the southern part of the continent where Equestria was, as well as another continent. Still, it was the best solution I had, because there was at least one possibility for me to know where I was, in the end.
Keep in mind that I also chose south because when I looked north, I didn’t see anything but other mesas, nasty smoke clouds, and a bunch of dragons. The south looked much friendlier.
That is to say, it looked as friendly as a desert can be. Then again, I didn’t need to eat or to drink. Deserts weren’t dangerous to me. They only were boring.
There still was one problem: going down. As far as I knew, the mesa had huge vertical cliffs on every side. Two solutions stood out: jumping, and staying there alone forever.
Of course, the latter didn’t satisfy me, and the former would have been certainly annoying. I didn’t know if I could throw up, but if it did happen – and it certainly would have, given how sensitive to falling my internal ear is – I would be forced to wear a mask full of vomit for the rest of my stay on Equestria.
So, instead, I opted for the third solution, that was yet to be determined.
Using the few pieces of information Mercury gave me about his attributions, I tried different things. Of course, summoning the chopper was out of question, since it ran away by itself.
“Financial gain won’t help me get down, nor will going into people’s dreams. Eloquence? Nope. Healing? I don’t even have his staff anyway. Nope.
“Oh, yeah, shapeshifting. I could actually try to do that. Maybe he unlocked that. As long as I don’t try to change back to my old body, I’m sure it’ll be fine.”
I did what I always do with new magic… Eyes closed, concentration and…
Nothing happened.
I tried several times, but nothing ever happened. Curious as to why this didn’t work and since Mercury seemed to be a rather nice God, compared to some others in the stories I read; I decided to send him a message inquiring about that, even though I hadn’t been wronged. He wasn’t obliged to answer me, but it wasn’t forbidden to send him a message, as far as I knew.
The answer came quickly, as if he was expecting a question. I suspected him of watching me from afar at all times.
“To be able to shapeshift you need to actually have a shape, which is not really the case right now since you are not in the right dimension for that. Dumbass.
“You can however fly in this dimension, with simple magic. It’s just levitation applied to your boots. In theory it’s not that easy, but for you it is, because your body doesn’t have a mass to speak of.”
That was the greatest moment of shame and embarrassment in history. Sometimes, solutions are so obvious that you don’t even consider them…
Following Mercury’s advice, I tried to levitate in the air. It worked pretty quickly, even if lifting myself was slightly more tiring than levitating a piece of paper. I also had the idea to try levitating myself while surrounding my body with smoke, which gave me an appearance that would undoubtedly scare a lot of ponies. It was even harder, and I couldn’t do it for long; but it could be interesting in some situations.
After my “magic science” session ended, I slowly glided towards the ground from the top of the mesa. During the last few meters, I had a lot of trouble controlling my descent. The magic reserves I had were far from endless.
Once I reached the ground unscathed, I walked south.
Date: First Days of March, First Year of the Game. Location: Desert again.
The walk was quite uneventful, save for one or two nasty-looking scorpions, and tumbleweeds that passed through me. I tried different magic tricks along the way, such as flames or shields, but they drained my magic too much, and quickly, I was often left with nothing to do but walk.
During six days, I was alone in that desert. It gave me time to study my magic capacity. Actually, it seemed to refill every day, and felt bigger every time it was completely emptied. Its behavior was between that of a battery and of a muscle.
These six days felt almost as long as the first months I spent alone in Ponyville, or even as long as that week I spent in the mausoleum. Because, this time, there was only me and the sun. I had to keep putting one leg before the other, without thinking too much about what would happen if I truly was in some kind of desert-filled continent with no one living on it.
By the end of the second day, although I wasn’t tired, I took regular “naps”, which actually consisted in lying down on the sand and thinking about what I was doing here.
Several times, I asked myself: what was Mercury’s goal? Why me? Why should I even listen to him? What could I do to get out of here? What would happen if I did? What would happen if I didn’t and he won the Game?
All these questions remained without plausible answers. They tortured me almost every day that I’ve passed on Equestria, but this time, there was nothing else to think about except music. Of course, first, I tried summoning music while only thinking about it. But, as soon as I ceased focusing on it, the music disappeared. It was not very practical.
That’s when I remembered “latin magic”. I quickly understood that I could use it by pumping into my reserves directly, without needing gems. Using the few words I remembered from fan fictions I had read on Earth, namely “musica a memoria” , I could easily generate music coming from nowhere in particular without even thinking about it constantly; all I had to do was to think about the music I wanted when I casted the spell. Plus, it didn’t require a lot of magic. So I could do it a lot.
Still, it was less efficient than singing. In fact, when I sang, the music came to my ears by itself, and I didn’t have to spend any magic power. The world itself brought the music to me, automatically. So I sang and sang, until it became more annoying than anything else. Most of the time, the epic guitar solos and melody of a song in particular stayed in my head. I couldn’t refrain from singing its lyrics, and inevitably, the sounds appeared from nowhere every time I sang about the Varangian Guard, its glory and its fame.
This constant singing helped me to remain more or less mentally stable in the middle of this desert. I was still lucid enough to get things done, and I kept walking south almost all the time; although sometimes it was more of a mechanical reflex. I truly was a robot, walking straight endlessly; but at least I was going somewhere.
As it turned out, going south was a good idea; because I wound up in a buffalo camp.
“I don’t know the markings of these guys, but I’m pretty sure I can give ‘em one hell of a bad trip if I enter one of their drug-induced dreams, if they have a shaman here,” I thought to myself, anticipating some glorious trolling and a global hilarity crisis.
Date: 6th of March, First Year of the Game. Location: Buffalo campsite.
The camp was fairly rustic. There were two dozens of teepees split into a few circles, fireplaces in the middle of each circle, a few pots and pans here and there.
“Not the most developed civilization ever, but that’ll do. I have to learn where I am.”
I didn’t see anyone wandering around in the camp when I arrived. Turns out most of the buffalos are out during the day, searching for food. Only the elders and a few children were still there, scattered in the tents I visited.
One elder in particular interested me.
Between teepee circles, there was a fairly isolated teepee, standing there without being in a circle itself. I was sure the shaman was there. They’re always living in a corner.
As I came close to the entrance, I used telekinesis to lift the cloth slowly and went inside. An old buffalo was sleeping, resting with a pipe on one of his hooves, various things scattered around randomly. Critter bones, a bunch of skulls, feathers and a dream catcher, among other things.
The buffalo was dark brown, his long beard darker than the rest, and he had tattoos I hadn’t seen on any other buffalo. He was a shaman, or I didn’t know what a shaman was.
I sat on a side of the tent, and pondered about how I would do what I would do. Of course, introducing myself with a joke was the only true solution... But what kind of prank could I play on him?
“Maybe I should… Nah, that’s not fun. I have to find a way to wake him up and make him run around like crazy.”
After twenty long minutes of cogitating about this, I abandoned the idea of planning before doing things, and concentrated on getting inside his head. I tried jumping on him while thinking of it, and I just fell on the ground. “Duh. I’m retarded.”
Standing and thinking about it didn’t help either. Of course, I immediately went for the easy solution: sending a message to Mercury. “How about you give me that ‘magic for dummies’ manual now?”
He answered me quickly, as usual. “Put your hand on his head and use magic. That’s all I will say. Now, stop asking me questions. Figure things out by yourself, you lazy slob. Or else, I’ll start to remove some powers. I’m not your babysitter. I’m a god, and I’m busy.”
“Well, here’s the easy solution thrown out the window forever. Yay.”
I put my hand on the old buffalo’s forehead, thought about going inside his dream, and felt a very powerful tug while also feeling my body unmoving. It was extremely disturbing.
I closed my eyes, and suddenly didn’t feel my body anymore.
Date: 6th of March, First Year of the Game. Location: A brain.
I opened my eyes in a colorful world. That’s the most accurate description there is. In fact, compared to this dream, Equestria was like a black-and-white movie. This was… Entirely different.
“This is what LSD addicts must see all the time. Freaky.”
The world was blurry, flashy, everything glittered, the colors were oversaturated, and the sun had a lens flare. Yes, an actual, physical, persistent lens flare that looked like a giant pendulum made of glass hanging in the sky.
It was a desert, with a few cactuses here and there; and mountains sitting on the horizon line.
My body wasn’t exactly my body. In fact, I was an animal. A harmless, defenseless, cute rabbit with a fluffy tail. “Fuck this guy’s imagination.
“Eh… Still better than a cow, I guess. At least I’m not fat.”
I quickly found out that cute little rabbits have an acute sense of hearing thanks to their fluffy ears. That allowed me to hear a very low rumbling in the distance. Looking at where it came from, I saw a horde of buffalos running straight towards my position.
“Oh, no.”
I had to hide, quickly. Left? Nothing. Right? Nothing. Behind me? Nothing. But there was a bigger problem than this lack of cover. I was a cute rabbit, and cute rabbits literally freeze when they are afraid like this.
Unable to move, as if all my muscles just received an injection of botulinum toxin; I could only watch the buffalos run, about as fast as a gang of Rainbow Dash clones all high on a mix of cocaine and steroids.
Soon, the crash was inevitable. I could feel an air blast ruffling my hairs even before the buffalos were there; and then I was flung in the air by one of their hooves.
The sky was beautifully blue, and white, and yellow, and red. Mostly red. My entire left side was broken. I could feel my hips jitter around, my arm was dislocated and broken, my leg was scraping my scapulae, and I lost bowel control. Being alive was painful.
This lasted only a few seconds, and soon I was falling back on the ground. Like a miserable bird crap dropped from the sky, I landed in a place I didn’t expect: in front of the herd, again.
This time, I was not thrown around very far. Instead, one of the buffalos in the first line started playing football with me. Or, I should rather say, hoof-ball-of-pain.
Anyhow, during the few seconds he tossed me around like this, breaking a few more bones in the process, including my skull, I could take a look at him. He was blue and glittery; and he had aviator sunglasses, a cigarillo in his mouth and Elvis Presley’s haircut. He was the embodiment of nonsense, yet he seemed perfectly logical in this setting.
He didn’t like the astonished looks I gave him in my last seconds of “consciousness”, and stopped throwing me forward. The herd trampled me. It only lasted a few seconds, but I could feel all my bones shatter. I could see my blood floating in the air in slow motion, between the countless legs of the buffalos walking over me, occasionally illuminated by sunbeams coming from between the buffalos.
The hooves of a buffalo got caught in my intestines and he tripped over me. Another killed me shortly after, when his stony butt fell on my face and flattened my brain.
Date: 6th of March, First Year of the Game. Location: Buffalo campsite.
“YAUGHAUAH!”
I instantly jumped back in surprise, and knocked my head on the stone-hard teepee. I could feel a part of the pain I endured in the dream, even after it ended.
Seeing as I didn’t have any control on the dream world, I didn’t think I would ever go there again. It was awful and useless. However, I still had to do something to him, even if it was nothing more than petty revenge. But my power had been drained a lot by my little trip to heroin land…
No more than five seconds later, I had an idea. “Bingo.”
I laughed silently, and proceeded to tilt the pipe slightly with telekinesis. “That’ll teach you to have a beard. Bitch.”
Less than a minute later, the fire took off.
The old buffalo opened his eyes, smelled the burnt hairs, and jumped up. “Fire! Fire! I’m on fire! Aaaaaaaaaaah!”
He tore a hole in a side of the teepee, and ran around yelling in the middle of the village.
By the time most of his beard was burnt off, a female buffalo came by with a large pot, and threw it on his face.
But, instead of removing it from his head, he kept on running around and yelling. His voice resonated in the pot: “I’m blind! I’m damn blind! Help!”
All the other buffalos watched him silently, most of them contemptuous, the rest simply ashamed.
After a few minutes of running around, he hit a wooden pole and knocked himself out. Everybody laughed at him but me.
This guy was not a shaman. He was the village idiot, as well as a drug addict. “I sure fucking know how to choose ‘em. What an idiot I can be...”
Somewhere else in the multiverse, a boy called Razputin was more or less doing this daily. I pitied him.
Date: 7th of March, First Year of the Game. Location: Buffalo campsite.
The males came back from their trip. Apparently, they were in a quest for shrubberies. They brought a few with them, carrying them on their backs. They said these were good shrubberies.
However, they also had important news. According to a nearby friendly tribe, ponies built a town in the middle of buffalo territory, and a reunion was being planned. All the chiefs living in the vicinity were invited.
Instead of busting my cover, I decided not to appear at all during my journey in buffalo land. Even if that meant I couldn’t do any dimension jump training for a while. The possibility of being led to actual civilization was worth it.
Date: 8th of March, First Year of the Game. Location: Buffalo campsite.
I was already bored. Buffalos were more annoying than tumbleweeds.
At least, tumbleweeds move.
Date: 15th of March, First Year of the Game. Location: Buffalo campsite.
Every day, I emptied my magic reserve. Its capacity was rising, slowly but steadily.
During these times, I went far away from the camp, and did whatever passed through my mind. From levitating huge rocks to sculpting sand, I actually could do a lot of things with my magic.
Speaking of sand, by the way, I made various sand statues. In a strange manner, telekinesis seemingly allowed me to form or destroy bonds between atoms or molecules. Sand became solid rock in an instant, and all I had to do was to concentrate on that thought.
I also learned fire spells, strong enough to kill scorpions; water spells, which were not that useful in a desert; and wind spells, pushing the tumbleweeds here and there.
I even managed to learn a spell allowing me to stop passing through people in the Soul Dimension, even though it wasn't very useful.
However, these all drained my energy extremely quickly every day, and I was limited to two or three spells a day.
Because of this still ridiculously low magic reserve I had, most of the time, I was condemned to watch the buffalos do nothing.
I almost missed my pony skeleton friends.
Date: 23rd of March, First Year of the Game. Location: Buffalo campsite.
That day, "my" buffalos decided to move somewhere else. When they departed, I hopped on a cart and sat in a corner, ready to do nothing for a while.
It wasn’t going to be much worse than staying in their camp. At least, I got to see nice landscapes, and I didn’t have to walk for that.
Date: 25th of March, First Year of the Game. Location: A valley, north of Appleloosa.
There were close to five hundred of them. I guess it was quite impressive, from their point of view. But they didn’t amount to much, when compared to Canterlot’s crowds, even though they were bigger than ponies and much fluffier.
Their camp was not very orderly, and most tents were scattered randomly across the valley. One group stood out: the one where all the tribe leaders were. I spent a few hours there, to listen to why they were there. Apparently it was some kind of big family reunion, with parties and such. But the most interesting thing was that Appleloosa was relatively close by, according to one of their maps. Moreover, I heard that a small delegation of buffalos would go to Appleloosa in order to collect the apple pies owed by the town residents.
Remembering about the spell I discovered recently that allowed me to sit on their backs, I thought to myself:“Yay for free buffalo rides.”
Date: 25th of March, First Year of the Game. Location: Appleloosa.
When I reached Appleloosa, I immediately went to the train station and prepared to go back to major cities, where I could do interesting research on my magic abilities without being too noticeable.
But that’s not what happened.
When the train started, I received a message from my dear employer, saying: “Don’t get out of Appleloosa. It is crucial that you stay here and keep on training. Use whichever knowledge you have to make your magic better, and wait for my signal. Do not interfere with the locals too much, at least until the end of July.”
Once again, I jumped out of a train almost at full speed, and resigned to stay in Appleloosa for a while.
Date: 3rd of May, First Year of the Game. Location: Appleloosa.
My magic reserve was getting noticeably bigger. Now, it was enough for three major spells every day, and I could jump through dimensions from time to time. As usual, when I did that, the pony appeared under my legs. Getting used to having this puppet moving under my legs took some time, but it became gradually less disturbing over the days.
Apart from that, I had pushed back a few stray diamond dogs and other desert beasts with various spells during the previous weeks. The Guard was recent, and there were not enough soldiers to cover the whole city’s area at all times. On top of that, they didn’t have a wall to protect themselves. So if anything wanted to come inside the city, it only had to wait for the night.
Of course, the ponies wondered about the sudden fire blasts in the middle of the night, almost always accompanied by various yelps and cries of pain; but they didn’t really bother finding out about it. After all, it was nothing but noise and black marks on the ground.
They really were naïve and carefree, sometimes.
Date: 15th of July, First Year of the Game. Location: Appleloosa.
More diamond dogs were coming. In the last few days of June, they started appearing in groups instead of wandering alone, and even attacked during the day. And that could only mean one thing: there was a pack nearby, getting more ambitious every day.
Unfortunately for them, I was getting stronger too, and I learned more spells to drive them away. For example, I took pleasure in creating huge clouds of smoke, inside which they could see glowing white figures apparently made of bones and walking towards them with clicking noises I created. In fact, creating noises was akin to creating songs, except that I had to think of a sound in particular to make it hearable by the dogs. As for the figures, they were simple images, not so different from sounds.
The diamond dogs were very, very afraid of the dead. Needless to say, after a few days, they started to run away at the smallest sight of a black smoke cloud.
However, this funny technique I had come up with wasn’t exactly inconspicuous, and guards saw the smoke clouds several times; which led some ponies to lead investigations about their chosen place of residence. They believed it was haunted.
I wasn’t going to prove them wrong. After all, it was useful.
So, instead of letting them investigate, I visited their dreams. Most of them were peaceful, so I could talk to them in their sleep without risking being crushed. After a few nightly visits, I learned a few things. Namely, going out of a dream when I wanted to, and avoiding Luna when she showed up.
Luna didn’t like when people tampered with the dreams of her subjects. Especially when said subjects warned her afterwards about a strange and terrifying apparition witnessed by several people around the city. Even more so when said apparition changed some ponies’ dreams into nightmares.
Luckily, I was discrete enough not to get caught by Her Majesty, and kept on communicating with the people of Appleloosa, to maintain the myth in shape and make it grow more terrifying. That way, if ponies got captured anyway, they wouldn’t ruin everything.
Date: 25th of July, Second Year of the Game. Location: Appleloosa.
“This is it. The first year of the game has ended, and my first year here probably did too…”
I didn’t really know what to think of this.
Overall, I didn’t miss most parts of my life from before, such as the society I lived in. Equestria was a place where I could actually solve some problems, instead of letting them ruin my life. And there was magic!
But there wasn’t exactly a life to speak of, so solving problems was not really important. I didn’t eat, didn’t sleep, and didn’t get tired. I was also deprived from those little pleasures of my everyday life: slumping in my chair after a day at the university, before letting my brain cool off in front of some video games; taking a hot shower in the middle of winter; or simply having the taste of chocolate in my mouth.
All these little things that made me human were actually more important than I thought they were when I had them. I guess the saying still applies: “You don’t know what you have until you lose it.”
I also knew that someday, I would get back to that despicable life of a faceless human being among billions of others, waiting to die in an overcrowded world.
It really was a tormenting thought. Here I was, on Equestria, unable to live a life that could have been the greatest ever.
The worst, however, was that I knew that all these moments I wasted here would be moments I would regret some day.
Spending a whole life to dwell on the past would be exactly the kind of self-torture I was capable of.
All these thoughts were making me crazy. So, although there was no one to congratulate me for being one year closer to my inevitable death, I wanted to party in order to stop brooding. I took my holidays, abandoning the city to its fate for one day.
Date: 25th of July, Second Year of the Game. Location: Appleloosa surroundings.
I wandered off to where the diamond dogs generally came from, north from the city, and erected giant sand statues behind a dune, in the purest Minecraftian style; that is to say, I made giant obelisks with round tips and pairs of spherical attachments at their bases.
I was bored, and defacing the landscape is fun; although I know how puerile this sounds.
While ruining the Equestrian desert’s horizon, I remembered a melody I used to play . Unfortunately, it was impossible to play with only one hand and without a piano. The thought saddened me, but at least I still could cast a spell to listen to it. I did it several times, and relinquished my memories of Earth for a while.
My “birthday present” came to me by itself, in the middle of the day, fortunately at a moment when I didn't listen to music. It was a group of six fresh diamond dogs, without any traces of burns. They probably were new here, although they did look wary of their surroundings.
But, smoke or not, travelling on the ground instead of using tunnels was a bad idea.
A little bit of telekinesis and they would have the scares of their lives, without actually seeing any smoke.
The six diamond dogs had been warned, back in the clan’s den. Everyone had to be careful, because the cursed smoke was deadly. And cursed. And also full of fire. And really, really cursed.
They walked in a circle, each dog taking quick looks around them very often, hoping to see the smoke before it saw them.
“Hey. Scar. Hear noise?” the leader asked to one of his companions, one-eyed but with a better hearing than most.
The diamond dog shook his head, and kept on walking.
A few steps later, he stopped walking and waved to the others. “Hear something now. Rock noise.”
The six dogs crouched, and looked around them for a few minutes. There were only unmoving sand and rocks, as far as their eyes could see. “Idiot. We hurry now,” the leader said, before slapping the one-eyed dog in the back of the head.
They all stood up and resumed walking.
“Stop. Hear again,” the one-eyed dog said a few meters later.
The only answer he had was another slap. “No. We walk.”
All of a sudden, the group felt much better. The sun wasn’t as hot as before. They sighed in pleasure, before noticing that their shadow was bigger.
“What…”
The group leader looked around, and saw that his shadow was much bigger than before. However, it was becoming smaller again every second. Then, he looked upwards.
The giant stony cylinder headed towards him certainly wasn’t good news.
“Run!” he shouted, while his subordinates screamed silently in terror, their eyes widened by the realization of their imminent and probable death.
His ability to react quicker than most made him his clan’s Delta. It wasn’t the position he dreamed of, but he was proud of it.
Immediately darting backwards, the midget dog did not dare looking at the flying monstrosity.
His subordinates were too late, and got whacked away by the floating cylinder, as if they were piñatas struck by a giant baseball bat. Decidedly not willing to suffer the same fate, the Delta ran even faster than usual, until his muscles burned and his blood was replaced by acid.
After that, he ran some more.
The yellow monolith was chasing him in the sky. He could feel the movements in the air that it provoked every time it came close; and that only was an incentive to burn more calories.
Less than a minute after the start of the chase, the dog heard a very discrete wind noise. When he looked back, he could see the monolith slowly disappearing when grains of sand detached themselves from the structure, changing it into a sand tornado.
When the solid mass finally entirely disappeared, the sand tornado fell on the ground. Standing in the middle of the tornado’s eye, a dark figure was standing.
Delta gauged the tall pony, and growled: “What. You. Want?”
The ominous figure stood there, silent, its cape flowing in the hot wind without any noise.
The dog was impatient. “What you want!”
Finally, it raised its right foreleg, pointed it at the dog and spoke, its voice coming from all around Delta.
“I am the one who brings souls to Tartarus. I am Death. And I do not ‘want’ anything, I get things done. Now, you will drag your friends over there back to your den, and tell your Alpha what happened. Then, you will tell him that if he does not cease his attempts to enslave ponies, I will have him sent to Tartarus and personally torture him as well as all of his pack until the end of time.”
The sand shifted around into another tornado, and when it fell back on the ground, the dark pony was gone.
Carefully obeying the unknown entity, the trembling diamond dog ran back to his fallen friends, woke them up and headed back home with them, apprehending what would happen to him.
“Wow. The ‘god of eloquence’ thing really had some effect on me. Every time I make a speech, it gets awesome, even though on Earth I would’ve just babbled around and mashed syllables together. I guess I have to thank Mercury for that.
“I do hope I’ll be able to do more than bluffing, someday, though,” I thought to myself.
I wondered about a possible finite limit to my magic power. Certainly, it wouldn’t grow forever, there had to be some kind of ceiling.
However, I wasn’t in a hurry to meet that ceiling. Levitating that big stone rod was extremely tiring, even though it only lasted for a few hundred meters; and crossing the boundaries between the two dimensions left me almost powerless. I used my daily magical supply in less than a few minutes; but it felt good. At least I could hope the dogs wouldn’t come here so often in the next days.
I didn’t intend on letting them go off without doing anything, though. To make sure I had a way to punish them, I followed them back to their den. Walking in the middle of the group without letting them suspecting a single second that I could be there was exhilarating.
A dozen kilometers further, they stopped walking and sat on the ground near a big rock, while their boss walked around the rock. I followed him, unsure of what he would do there; and watched him as he removed a broken piece of the rock. It revealed a hidden hole, into which he put his entire arm. A ringing sound could he heard, and the ground rumbled.
On the other side of the rock, the ground split in two in front of the sitting dogs. Sand fell in the hole, revealing stairs probably going down for a hundred meters.
I walked down the first few steps. In the direction of the rock above, a small room was carved into the ground. Inside that room, there was a group of three dogs, maneuvering a windlass that seemingly triggered the door’s opening. In a corner of the room, a bell was tied to a rope going up through a hole in the ceiling.
The doorkeepers greeted the other dogs. “Hey. Bring anything?”
Delta winced, and answered: “No. Chased by shadow. Message for Alpha.”
The doorkeepers looked at him in despair. “Not good. He will punish.”
“I wonder what kind of Alpha that is.”
The group walked in the tunnel’s depths, and I followed them.
Chapter 6 - Down in the Dark
CHAPTER 6 – Down in the Dark
Date: 25th of July, Second Year of the Game. Location: Diamond dog den, north of Appleloosa.
During the whole descent, the dogs kept complaining about what would happen to them. According to what they said, their Alpha often tortured those who failed to do what he ordered them. Sometimes, some of them even disappeared and were never heard of again. It was quite unusual in a dog pack, as far as I knew.
I kept listening about their terrible fate until we reached the end of the stairs. A big hall, lit up by hundreds of torches, was waiting for me. Its architecture reminded me of the dwarven tunnels depicted in some fantasy movies, with tall columns at regular intervals and a few carvings in the walls. It was far too refined for simple dogs… Yet, it still retained a visible roughness that made it clear they were the ones who made it.
The dog group walked along the stone pillars for a few minutes, and very soon reached a room where two guards were waiting. The leader waved them off and entered the room as the others stood there, behind the door. I followed him, and I could only be surprised by what I saw.
Facing the door, a colossal stone throne was resting against a wall, precious gems embedded in its rims and armrests. It was surrounded by torches, as well as by several weapon racks, which held gilded swords and shields of various sizes and shapes. As for most of the other walls in the room, they were almost entirely covered in pole-arms and tower shields. This den undeniably was prepared for war.
But the weapons weren't the most impressive thing in that room. On the throne, an extremely tall dog was sitting. He looked more like a wolf than common diamond dogs. Quite the opposite of his subordinates, his muscles were rippling and he looked well fed. Blacker than my suit, his fur contrasted with the golden collar he wore. His pale blue eyes gave him an appearance quite unlike anything I saw so far in the den. This diamond dog transpired authority, and, more than that, he visibly took advantage of it. Judging by the looks that the few females around the place gave him, he most certainly wasn't one to deny any of them the right to spend the night in his company. As for the males, they almost all looked extremely jealous of that; but they also -and more importantly- looked like a simple chat with him was their worst nightmare.
While I was busy looking around the room, the meager and feverish Delta kneeled slowly, showing both veneration and fear to his colossal leader.
Curious, I walked towards him, and, upon closer inspection, I noticed the dog king’s hands were trembling. I didn’t know if that was good or bad. “Maybe it was why he was kidnapping ponies,” I thought to myself.
The king immediately ordered: “Report, Sly. What happened?”
His vassal looked at him with what could only could be qualified as puppy eyes, and said: “Smoke again. We-”
Before he had a chance to finish his sentence, the Alpha’s fist hit him so hard his head bounced on the ground. “You reek of fear and piss. Weakling.”
A few seconds later, he was back on his knees, trying to speak through the blood running from his nose. “It. Message.”
The Alpha looked suddenly interested, although he was still gnarling.
“It. Wants. Us. Stop. Taking. Ponies.”
The dog king looked at him with nothing but hate. “And you came back with empty hands because of this?”
“It said. It. Death,” the bleeding Delta said.
“What did it look like?”
“Black. Tall. Sharp weapon. Smoke,” Sly enumerated slowly. “It. Brings. To Tartarus,” the dog painfully managed to say.
For once, the Alpha looked worried as much as he was angry. He paced around for a while, and Delta’s eyes widened a bit.
Finally, the Alpha stopped walking, and pointed at Delta. “Transmit this order to everyone: it is crucial that the smoke does not see any of us again. Stop going near the city. Dismissed.”
The Alpha sat on his throne and watched his subordinate walk out of the room as he muttered to himself.
I followed Sly and looked at him on the way out. In his eyes, there was nothing but misery and pain. But as much as I wanted to, I felt that didn’t have the right to fix that and take care of their Alpha myself. It was their way of life, so far as to be engraved in their DNA…
Instead of worring longer about the way their pack leader governed, I decided to stroll through the den and check for any slaves. Walking through the mostly deserted den, I looked for any sort of being that wasn't a diamond dog, but there were only empty cells in the prison area, miners in the shaft only seemed to be diamond dogs, and I didn't see any other area where ponies could eventually have been kept.
Seeing as staying in that den was useless, I made my way back to the stairs and walked back to Appleloosa.
Date: 26th of July, Second Year of the Game. Location: Appleloosa.
When I reached the city, it was night time. Most of the ponies were asleep, although one or two still were awake, judging by the light coming through some windows here and there.
My powers were slowly regenerating over the hours. But their regeneration was slow. I had to wait for the day, wandering in the little town’s alleys randomly, trying to come up with a plan. I was mostly thinking about what I was going to say... How would I tell them what I am without saying too much or too little? Eventually, I even had a conversation with Mercury about the whole thing. After an arduous negociation that took about an hour and a half, he finally agreed, on the condition that I stayed in Appleloosa.
When the sun rose, I knew what I had to do. It was perfectly ridiculous and I found the whole thing as pathetic as laughable, but the ponies most likely wouldn’t have a choice. And that was for the better. I didn’t want them to have the wrong reaction.
When I deemed it was the right time, I counted the ponies and waited until they all were outside, except for the few kids and elderlies who stayed inside their houses.
That day started just like every single one before. Sun shone, grass grew, birds flew, and ponies were tending to their jobs. Or, rather, it was like this, before I jumped through dimensions and my pony avatar appeared in the middle of the main street.
Everyone suddenly stopped walking at the sight of the towering dark horror that stood there. Mothers hid their children behind them, elders closed their doors, and most male ponies assumed a fighting stance. Some of them grabbed tools, visibly intending to use them as weapons, and others just stood there, staring at me.
Crouching, I simply whispered: “Musica a memoria.” Incorporeal drums immediately started playing, and less than a second later, my magically altered and transferred voice was echoing through Appleloosa, as well as extremely upbeat guitars and basses.
I sang the first verse alone. The ponies looked at my shrouded body in a curious way, not quite understanding why I was doing this. The song was telling them to be happy and live the best they could. It told them I would try to free them from darkness and hate. It told them that I only wanted to live in peace with them, as a brother instead of as a stranger.
During the second verse, they all dropped their weapons, lost their stance, and some of them slowly rocked back and forth, matching the music’s rhythm. After that, a mare in the crowd sang with me. And, very soon, the whole town was accompanying me.
Once again, I was alone for the fourth verse, and they all stopped singing. As if they knew it was not a verse they could actually identify themselves to. But when it was time for the fifth verse, they sang again. I could see most of them smile during my solo part, and the smiles they had only grew wider. For a strange reason, the sun even seemed to shine brighter.
When the song died down, they all looked at me, hesitant, as I walked towards the closest one, a strangely black and white unicorn colt.
Watching his curious but unafraid expression, I declared: “I am not here to do any harm. I only wanted you to stop fearing me now, because it makes no sense anymore. I am but a traveler searching for a temporary asylum, and I’m tired of being lonely… ”
He slowly moved his head back and tilted it slightly, an eyebrow raised high. “Ooookay? So… Who are you and why were you scary in the first place?” He had a slight accent that denoted a possible zebra ascendance, quite obvious if you also looked at his fur’s colors.
My avatar answered with its classical ghoulish voice. “As surprising as it may be, I don’t have the right to tell you who I am. However, what you need to know is that there was a pack of diamond dogs who tried to enslave ponies around here, and that I got them to stop doing that. I needed to push them back without letting you know what I truly did. I didn’t want you to blow my cover. And, well, now that they are not going to come back here, I chose to show myself. Being alone is boring.”
He considered what I said for a few seconds, and asked: “So you were the one who made these fire spells against the diamond dogs at night? And the smoke, was it you too? The guards told me about that.”
My avatar and I nodded. “Indeed. Look,” I said, while making some smoke appear behind me.
The crowd murmured: “It’s the black smoke thing!”
“Well then, I suppose we owe you something,” he said with a cheerful smile and a hoof held in the air.
“Uh… Sorry, I can’t shake your hoof.”
He looked at me, taken aback. “I don’t understand… Is it not a sign of politeness where you come from?”
“My problem is far more down-to-earth than that.” And, with that, I passed my hand through his hoof, my avatar's hoof overlapping with my hand.
His brain took a second to process the fact someone else's leg was inside his hoof. He shrieked like a little filly as he jumped back, holding his hoof against his chest, all of his hairs suddenly straightened. “A-a-a-agha ghost!”
“Come on, stop being silly, I’m not a ghost. Ghosts are dead, and I’m alive. I only have a few… tangibility problems, that's all.”
One of the ponies behind me trotted to us and talked too. “Ah, I get it. But… Do you have any way to prove what you say you did, then? I don’t see how a ghost would make diamond dogs go away.”
I turned back suddenly, and he gulped as my avatar waved his foreleg around.
Mere seconds later, no one could see the sun through the smoke that rose from the ground. A dark dome surrounded the village, and every single pony there was trying to escape the flames bursting from the ground randomly. The smoke clouds made them want to cough, they started sweating, and their skin was greyed by the ash flying around.
Then, flames enveloped my avatar and I kneeled in front of the suspicious pony again, slowly approaching my magical puppet's burning mask from his cringing face. “Do you think that is not enough?”
He turned his head around, looked at the chaos I caused in a few seconds, and smiled in embarrassment. “Yes, I think it is.”
The smoke and flames disappeared instantly and the crowd, slightly blinded by the sun, looked at me as if I was a demon. Many ponies were whispering to others.
One of the mares there yelled: “What do you think you’re doing? Monster! My baby almost got burned!”
Once again, my pony avatar waved its leg. A pillar of fire came out of the ground and passed through the dubious mare.
She yelled immediately. “AIIYEEEE!”
And, very soon, she noticed nothing actually happened. She babbled: “Bu-bu-buh, but, I felt that flame burn me!”
“Nope. It was just an illusion. Just like everything else I’ve done. Anypony got burned here?”
No one answered me. “Good. Now, believe me or not, I just want to have some company. Being the way I am is boring.”
Some of the ponies were still unconvinced, but a few ones seemed to trust me and smiled.
The black and white pony walked around me and said: “So what’s your name?”
I sighed. “I don’t have the right to tell you that either.”
“Great! I’ll give you one then!” He exclaimed, and a grin appeared on his face as he trotted around me.
“Whatever.”
Every few steps, the pony put a hoof on his mouth, and squinted his eyes. “No, no… no, no again…”
He slowly walked away on three legs, before suddenly turning back with a jump. “Yes! I know! I’ll call you… Phan-tooom!”
The crowd whispered in amazement, as the pony in front of me looked like he just told the conclusion to a spooky story, his forelegs suspended in the air.
I raised my fists to the sky and looked straight into the sun. As I was doing this, my pony avatar stood on two legs. “Nooooooooo!”
The pony turned back, and looked at me. “That’s final, I’ll call you that, no matter what you say. After all, I can’t call you Ghost, that’s just silly. Ghost the ghost,” he chuckled. “And Phantom is more mysterious. You are mysterious. You’re a pretty good Phantom.”
“Good god. This guy looks like he’s as stubborn as Pinkie Pie, and I can’t even tell him he called me Phantom while I’m supposed to be a 'phantasm'. Fuck. And I thought that 'Griffin the griffin' was retarded. I have to do something!”
“Listen dude, I ‘d rather you call me-“
“Phantom. I’ll call you phantom.”
“But I don-“
“Zip it, Phantom.”
“No! This name is-“
“Great. Phantom is great.”
“No, it’s not-“
“Terrible. Because it’s great.”
“You know, I’ll-“
“Like it, because it’s great.”
“SILENCE!”
“Will not be your name because Phantom is so much better.”
“Aw, FUCK!”
I threw my arms up and abandoned the fight, my avatar simply letting its shoulders hang low.
The pony looked at me with a smug grin. “You aren’t very persevering, Phantom”, he said, accentuating the last word in particular.
“That’s called strategic retreat. But anyway. What’s your name?”
He took a big breath before asking. “I’m Jolly Jester! And there’s the Sheriff Silverstar, and Southern Shine, and Big Bee the apiarist, and True Notes, the town’s musician, and Morton Saltworthy, and Vanilla Roll, my favorite baker, and Speedy Hawk, our weather guy, and Nurse Sunheart, and-“
“Okay, okay, I get it, you know everyone here. But I didn’t ask for their names, only yours. Is that hard to understand?”
“God dammit. He really is some kind of Pinkie Pie, only worse and colorless. I hope they never have children together.”
I decided it was enough. I addressed the crowd, boosting my voice as much as I could with the magic I had left after all these illusions. “Appleloosa! Now that you somehow know me, I will ask two things of you. One, accept me as one of yours, even if only temporarily. Talk to me, maybe even give me some jobs. As long as I can live a rather normal life for a while, I’ll be happy.”
The sheriff walked in front of the others and curled his moustache with a hoof, pondering about my expectations for a minute. Finally, he stomped the ground with a hoof, displaying a determined look. “So be it! As long as you don’t do anything shady again, like this scary illusion, I think we can allow you to stay here for a little while.” He looked at me, squinted his eyes, put his hoof in front of his eyes, and pointed it at me.
The pony under me nodded. “You’ll be watching. Gotcha.”
My new checkered nemesis then yelled: “Who wants to help the big scary monster settle in?”
The crowd walked one step back. The message was clear.
Jolly looked at me with a big smile and said: “Hey hey hey! It seems you’re all mine, big guy! How about we go on a tour in town?”
“Whatever. But consider yourself warned: sometimes, I make jokes that you will regret hearing.”
“Oooh, I look forward to these! I love jokes, no matter what!”
“I couldn’t have guessed…”
Date: 28th of July, Second Year of the Game. Location: Appleloosa.
“What’s the hardest part of making vegetable soup?”
“I don’t know… Peeling them, I guess.”
“Crushing the wheelchairs.”
“Wait, what wheelchairs? Oh. Ah. No! That kind of vegetable, you mean! That’s horrible.”
“Told you.”
Date: 29th of July, Second Year of the Game. Location: Appleloosa.
“What’s worse than a foal in a trash bin?”
“What could be? This is the worst!”
“A foal in two trash bins.”
“How… Argh! No!”
Date: 30th of July, Second Year of the Game. Location: Appleloosa.
“How many foals does it take to paint a house?”
“They would never know how to use paintbrushes…”
“Depends on how hard you throw them.”
“I think I’m going to throw up.”
Date: 2nd of August, Second Year of the Game. Location: Appleloosa.
“A priest, a pedophile and a rapist walk in-“
“Okay, stop, I’ve had enough. You made your point. I don’t even want to know what a priest is.”
Date: 3rd of August, Second Year of the Game. Location: Appleloosa.
“You know… Apart from the horrible jokes that I absolutely love, I also appreciate much lighter humor. For example, I even pranked Celestia and Luna a while ago.”
“You… You didn’t dare to do anything to royalty! You did? Tell me… How!”
“It’s easy, in fact. When I repeatedly pass through ponies, they sneeze. I learned that when I passed through someone I wanted to talk to… And, one time, when I was in Canterlot, I couldn’t resist and spent a few hours making the two princesses sneeze repeatedly, while I was invisible. I even did it to Luna while she was raising the moon, it was hilarious.”
“Wait… You’re telling me that YOU are responsible for that time when the moon was going back and forth in the sky?”
“Yup.”
“That’s… awesome! I wish I had that power too…”
“Well, I wish I actually could interact with people instead of passing through them.”
“Touché.”
Date: 5th of August, Second Year of the Game. Location: Appleloosa.
Life went on like this for a while. I spent my days hanging out with Jolly Jester, discussing about Equestria and joking around. I helped him with a few pranks here and there, and when the night came, I just laid on a couch, immobile for a few hours, while he was sleeping.
During these nights, I thought about what I had accomplished so far. Apart from training and scaring a few dogs away, it didn’t amount to much. Yet, Mercury wanted me to stay there and do nothing. Why? Was there something supposed to happen here? Was I supposed to do something he didn’t order me to do in order to prove my independence? Was I supposed to do something outside of the town thanks to pony intermediaries, like when he asked me to push that button and expected the passengers to push them? But if I was supposed to do something like that, what was I supposed to do exactly? Or, maybe that even he didn’t know what I should do. Maybe he actually had no plan, and simply told me to stay there so he could find something meaningful to do.
All these interrogations haunted me; but quickly they were forgotten, as the day led me to live an almost-normal life.
During these days, I also befriended True Notes. It turned out he was a pianist, and, even though I didn’t have hands to push on the keys, I could use telekinesis to play the notes of the songs I knew, almost as naturally as when I used my hands. I played many songs that entertained a lot of ponies, from the works of C418 to those of Nobuo Uematsu…
Of course, True Notes loved some of them, but he was better than me at playing piano. He taught me a few things. I still was a beginner, and certainly didn’t mind the free lessons.
The most important thing with that piano is that it soothed me. Playing it was a great pastime, and it let me forget about everything that happened. Every time I played a song, for a few minutes, there was only the piano, and music. Nothing else mattered. My mind was resting, and it really was enjoyable.
I liked this life, as shallow as it was.
I knew it wouldn’t last forever.
Date: 14th of August 2013. Location: A road.
That day was one of the best there had been during this summer. It was hot and slightly windy at the same time: a perfect day for motorcycle enthusiasts.
On a thin stripe of tar lying in the middle of sunflower fields, a shrilling motorbike was carrying its driver, who was slightly too heavy. The bike lacked horsepower, but it still managed to move at least.
In the distance, another bike was approaching. It was much more powerful. Entirely ignoring the speed limit, the reckless driver pushed his vehicle to its limits.
The first biker noticed there was someone else, coming close at an alarming speed. He moved to the side of the road before the other guy did something stupid. He did not trust anyone on the road.
The speeding bike looked like it would quickly outpace the smaller bike, before disappearing in the distance even quicker.
It did not disappear.
Instead, its driver activated both of its brakes before going further than the other bike; leaving a large black mark on the ground. The screeching was atrocious to both drivers. When it ended, the larger bike was almost leaning against the smaller one. Its driver tapped on the shoulder of the other one, and said: “Compliments of Mercury.”
Then, he put his hand on the smaller bike and patted it. “Go.”
He braked again, coming to a full stop.
The other driver did not understand what happened. He was too stupefied to talk. Who was this guy? What did he do?
Before he had the time to solve these questions, another problem surfaced.
His bike’s whine gradually became more and more acute, as its speed was rising far away from its normal levels. He tried braking, but it did not work. The controls weren’t answering.
At some point, he noticed his wheels were on fire.
Then, he was on fire too, for a short time. Something exploded, and he lost consciousness.
Back on the road, still sitting on his immobile bike, the chopper’s driver watched his victim vanish while a trail of flames remained on the road. “Next step: get them to meet.”
He laughed, accelerated enough to lift the front of his bike into the air, and disappeared in a flash of light.
Chapter 7 - Opus at the End of Everything
CHAPTER 7 – Opus at the End of Everything
Date: Unknown. Location: Unknown.
The sound of an explosion could be heard in the desert. A ball of flame appeared out of thin air, above a group of cactuses, and something passed through it.
It crashed on the ground.
Date: Unknown. Location: Unknown.
Sprawled in the sand, a badly hurt pony was passed out. One of his rear legs was trapped under a strange contraption that did not look like anything the dogs saw before. He wore a leather jacket, and had some kind of protective helmet near him. It was not adapted to his head, though. Something was off with him.
All this didn’t really matter. He landed near their den; it was a free slave and a way to buy them some time. No more, no less.
The diamond dogs quickly took everything there was and carried it all into their underground city.
Date: Unknown. Location: Unknown.
“Wake! Up! Pony!” The dog shouted, slapping his new slave.
“Hein? Quoi? Où est-ce que-“
The pony’s eyes widened in surprise. “Merde! Putain, un chien qui parle! Oh, je…”
He passed out again with a sigh.
The diamond dog was furious. “Stupid! No-good! I… Be back!”
Date: Unknown. Location: Unknown.
The driver woke up on the road, his bike trapping his left leg. His jean was torn off, and his leg’s skin had been burned by his slide on the road. Groaning in pain, he removed his helmet and tried to reach his mobile phone, inside his coat’s pocket. A few seconds later, he found it, resting in several pieces. The device had been crushed by the shock, and was unusable.
Roughly a minute later, he heard footsteps coming to him. He called for help, but, instead of receiving what he asked for, he only heard a laugh.
The stranger kneeled near him, and looked in his eyes. [“You can get out of here if you can. You just have to try. For example, like this.”]
The man looked at the motorcycle for a second.
The bike lifted itself up and flew to the other side of the road, freeing its driver’s leg.
The driver was as amazed as he was scared. [“Who are you?”]
[“I am the one who brought you where you are right now. Someone else vouched for you, so I transported you there. You are not on Earth anymore, little man. And you are not even a little man anymore.”]
[“That’s pretty much Earth right there, and I’m human. I don’t see what’s different.”]
[“Oh, that? No, that’s not Earth. That’s your last memory of Earth when you left it. It’s just a dream.”]
[“A dream. Like I’d believe that.”]
[“I think you should believe all of this is a dream. After all, your bike actually was a tricycle made for little girls all along, and you have the legs of a chicken.”]
[“What the hell are you talking about.”]
The driver looked where the huge bike was a few seconds earlier. A pink tricycle was standing there.
He didn’t even want to look at his legs.
[“Ooookay. Let’s say this is a dream. Then, if it’s a dream, why am I conscious, and why don’t I control it?”]
[“Simply because talking to people in dreams requires consciousness; and because I am the one controlling your dream. You are still locked up in a prison cell as we speak.”]
[“Okay, okay, that’s a lot to comprehend right there. Where am I exactly, and why did you bring me there already?”]
[“You’re in a place where gods are playing. And, as a god, I brought you there to be my champion. My Piece, as the others call it nowadays.”]
[“And what if I don’t want to be your champion? I never agreed to that.”]
[“Oooh, but I don’t need your agreement, silly mortal. You just need to know that if you want to survive, you have to win that game for me. If you don’t win, I’ll kill you.”]
The driver shivered, as the stranger’s tone went from jovial to ice cold in the last sentence.
[“Now have a nice sleep, and be ready to do anything to survive. Take time to get accustomed to your new body, and think fast. You’re going to be in deep shit,”] the maniacal stranger said, laughing to his heart’s content.
The world faded to black.
Date: Unknown. Location: Unknown.
The contraption the pony brought with him was really fascinating. It looked like centuries ahead of the dogs’ technologies, even centuries ahead from what all the ponies could have… Yet, the Alpha could see it was not hand-crafted. Things were too regular, too orderly for something that was not chain-manufactured. Even though it looked damaged, everything was too perfect. Something was off with this machine. It couldn’t be Equestrian, and yet it was there.
This pony definitely was something to worry about.
Furthermore, according to the reports, he spoke an unknown language during the few seconds he was awake, which made communication very difficult. He would have to take care of him with his own paws.
Date: Unknown. Location: Unknown.
The newest addition to the slave reserves of the Blackdune clan woke up in a very uncomfortable position. He was resting on his back, and each of his legs was tied to pillars in the corners of the room. Something prevented him to see anything, and he felt a few sunburns on his skin.
“Euh… Au secours?”
His body was dehydrated, and the voice he heard wasn’t the one he was used to. It was raspy, and slightly lower-pitched.
After a few minutes of getting together, he tried to stretch his fingers, to no avail. He did not feel anything at the end of his arms.
A light gust of wind he could feel on his sensitive skin informed him that he was nude. He panicked. “Qu’est-ce qui m’arrive!”
[“I hope I wasn’t kidnapped by sadomasochist rapists.”]
He tried to rock back and forth, but the ropes wouldn’t budge. Squirming around like a fish deprived of water, he was noisy.
Soon, footsteps could be heard.
“Well well well, what do we have here. Someone’s ready to get interrogated!”
The loud voice was anything but reassuring.
Mustering his courage and all of his awful knowledge of English, the pony babbled: “Euh… Heylo?”
“Hello indeed.”
The pony could feel something sharp tickling him, going from a side of his belly to the other.
“It seems you do speak Equestrian after all.”
“I speak bad. Sorry,” the pony said with a strong accent. “What is Equestrian?” He asked.
“Do you not even know the language you speak of?” The other voice asked, audibly surprised.
“I speak English. I do not unduhstand.”
“Call it whatever you want, it still is the Equestrian language.”
“Putain, je comprends rien…”
“Speak Equestrian or shut up.”
He felt the sharp object on his throat, near his arteries. “O-o-okay. Talk slow please.”
“What is your name.”
“L-Louis.”
“Good. Louis, what was that machine with you?”
“Machine? Bike?”
“Yes.”
“I can show you. Not explain. I don’t know ze words.”
“Fine. Try to make a move and I kill you.”
“Okay.”
He felt a hand undoing a knot on the side of his head, and, suddenly he could see. Another dog was standing in front of him, featuring flat colors, an outline and a gilded collar. “Encore un chien de dessin animé. C’est pas possible.”
“Speak Equestrian, fool!”
The pony, feeling his arteries threatened again, apologized. “Sorry! I forgot.”
He turned his neck around and looked at his limbs. No hands in sight, only stumps, at the end of a light yellow leg, featuring an outline as well.
“I have no hands!”
The wolf looked at him and chuckled. “You’re a pony, idiot. Why would you have hands?”
“Hein? Un- A what? Me? Why?”
“Why? I don’t know! You’re a pony, it’s all I know!”
“I’m human!”
“I don’t know what a human is. But I do know what a pony looks like, and you’re one. No doubt about it.”
“Poni… Pony… Poney? Attends, je suis un poney? C’est quoi ce binz!”
The slaver slashed one of the captive’s legs with his claw.
“Aïe! Enfoiré!”
The dog moved his face right above that of the pony, and ordered: “Talk. Equestrian.”
Louis winced, still feeling the pain in his leg. “Yes. I will.”
“Let us go then.”
The dog untied his prisoner’s legs, and pushed him on the ground.
Coordinating his four legs was hard. Louis could not manage to walk like a quadruped, so he tried to walk on his hind legs. Unfortunately, his new pelvis didn’t have the right shape for that, and he fell on the ground.
[“I can’t even walk… What’s happening…”]
He tried again, and managed to stand up by leaning on the walls.
“Slave! Why do you walk like us!” The dog exclaimed, before pushing the pony back on the ground violently.
“Gros con,” he whispered, and tried his best to walk on all fours, the way his new body was supposed to, although he sometimes held his bleeding leg in the air.
The slaver harrumphed and led him through the corridors, occasionally pulling on his hair violently to make him turn, eliciting a few complaints.
The unsteady pony managed to walk on all fours decently after a while, and avoided being mistreated at every corner by following his captor closely.
A few minutes later, they reached a big room with a particularly high roof, columns everywhere, and a throne. In front of the throne, a motorbike was laid down on the ground, some of its parts torn off and put aside in a small pile.
Louis bit his lips. [“Fuck, what did they do? I hope it still works.”]
The Alpha shouted. “What is it? Make it work!”
The prisoner walked to the bike and examined it. The parts they removed actually only were unimportant pieces of plastic. He lifted the bike with surprising ease, and was thoroughly amazed at his ability to grab things without fingers. But there were more important things to do than looking at how his limbs worked. For example, getting out of that crazy place was important. He didn’t know where to go, but anywhere else would do. It would be hard to find a place worse than this one.
He clumsily climbed on the motorbike, now slightly too tall for him, and started it. When the engine noise echoed in the vast room, the dogs in the vicinity all howled and fell on the ground. The Alpha, closest of them all to the engine, put his hands on his ears and yelled: “Make it stop!”
Louis smiled. That was unexpected. [“I guess they’re very sensible to noise. Take that, bitch!”]
The pony looked at his defeated captor writhing on the ground, did not say anything, and turned the throttle. The sound increased and some dogs curled in the fetal position, but he didn’t care. He grabbed the clutch and pressed it, switched to first gear, clumsily released the clutch with a hoof, and drove through the dark corridors. Fortunately, although the blinkers had been ripped off, the main lights still were operational.
Behind him, Louis could hear the sounds of dogs yelling and running. [“Try, bitches. You won’t get me.”]
A few minutes later, after turning around in random circles, dogs chasing him continuously, he reached large stairs and slowed down. At the bottom of the dark tunnel going up, he could see a faint ray of light. “Bingo.”
He put the crutch in place, jumped off the bike, and climbed the stairs faster than he ever thought he could, adrenalin racing through his veins. Upon reaching the top of the stairs, he noticed the strange nature of the door blocking the exit, and the adjoining room. He immediately ran to the room and saw the wheel attached to ropes going near the door, deprived of its guards. Feverish, he grabbed the wheel and spun it as hard as he could. The doors opened slowly.
When he saw a ray of light he considered big enough, Louis jumped back to the stairs and hopped through the door.
He was greeted by hot wind, the blinding sun, and a sharp spear in his left buttock.
The impact made him fall to the ground and hold his injured leg with both his front hooves. He instantly started to cry because of the pain. “AAAAAAAAIE! Non, non, non! Pas maintenant!” he sobbed, trying to walk with his remaining legs.
Footsteps could be heard soon after, and the Alpha jumped through the door, landing on the wounded pony with a thump. The impact moved the spear in the leg and widened the gash, blood flowing from it at an alarming rate.
The dog was wearing an improvised turban around his ears, to muffle the unbearable noise. “No one escapes me, little bastard.”
He twisted the spear around, forcing his victim to scream in pain once again, before removing it with a quick movement.
Staring into the eyes of the injured prisoner, he licked the blood coming from the wound, bathing his mouth in blood, before announcing: “You shouldn’t have tried to escape. Now I have to eat you.”
Louis’ ears flicked backwards as his eyes widened in fear.
And, immediately, the Alpha punched the terrified pony in the head with a shattering blow, rendering him unconscious.
Date: 18th of August, Second Year of the Game. Location: Appleloosa.
I was playing the piano in Appleloosa’s saloon, entertaining a few ponies scattered on the few tables with my exotic songs. After some heard about my music, they came frequently to hear it, even if I only had a very limited repertoire. With True Notes who took the piano from time to time, however, we almost could play during all day.
While I was playing a merry tune I particularly liked , I was interrupted by a green flash.
I immediately stopped playing, and the few ponies sitting around groaned in disagreement.
“Sorry guys, I have a message to read,” I said, before escaping through the wall, thrilled. Finally, I had something to do.
The message said: “Go back to the dog’s den. You’ll find something interesting near the entrance.”
The first idea I had was that Mercury finally decided to make me fight the dogs. It was better than doing nothing at all, but I wasn’t sure how I was going to do that.
Nevertheless, I said goodbye to True Notes, told him I’d be gone for a while, and headed to the diamond dog den after jumping out of the Mortal Dimension.
Date: 18th of August, Second Year of the Game. Location: Diamond dog den.
When I reached the big rock where the door was, I noticed an unusual shape in the sand.
I crouched, and examined the ground. The shape was that of a set of knobby motorbike tires. That could only mean one thing: there was someone human around there.
The second thing I saw was a dried pool of blood on the sand, near the den’s gate.
The driver was probably hurt, and I had to save him.
I passed through the door, and headed into the corridor, following the trail of blood on the stairs.
At the end of the stairs, I saw something I didn’t want to see. It was a big group of dogs, examining closely a black enduro motorcycle with gilded rims and a digital panel. It was badly damaged, but it still was a bike I knew too well.
The license plate was completely mangled, but one part of it remained. Its remains displayed the first letter, a K. The bike I used to drive had a K on its plate too.
I had to eliminate all doubts.
Turning around the motorbike, I checked a particular place on the front mudguard. On the right side, a tiny square of paper was glued. A few legal scribbles were written on it, as well as the bike’s plate’s number.
“KR 21 A.”
The realization hit me like a brick wall.
Only one person in the world could drive this motorcycle: my little brother.
“Mercury… I swore it once already; now is the second time. You will pay.”
Running through the halls, passing through the unaware dogs, I erupted internally. My mind was on fire, images of revenge flowing through it like lava burning away all my common sense. The trail of blood seemed to never end, and as I was running, I did not look away from it a single time.
Before reaching the throne room, I could smell the scent of decay and hear someone crying.
When I entered that room, I witnessed the most horrible thing I had seen in my life. It was too terrible for the land of friendship and happiness, even in the twisted version of it where I was sent.
An overly large wooden table was sitting between the mighty pillars and only one chair was near it.
The chair was used by the Alpha. But that wasn’t really disturbing. Chairs are made to be sat on, after all.
The real problem was that the Alpha’s muzzle was buried into the guts of one of his soldiers, resting in an oversized plate, while a lanky yellow pony was strapped to the other end of the table, condemned to watch the mad dog eat one of his subordinates. He was crying and biting his lip, his left rear leg had been cut open and bitten in some places, and he looked rather pale, probably because of the severe blood loss.
The Alpha was eating slowly, savoring the taste of fresh blood. I watched him for a full minute before even thinking of reacting. It was so disgusting I could only look at him, munching on the poor dog’s insides, ripped out and scattered around on the plate. He occasionally plunged his hands in the insides of the corpse and ripped a few organs out, biting on them in delight afterwards.
A few moments of watching the Alpha were enough to make me feel sick, even though I couldn’t watch anywhere else.
I looked at the dead dog, to see if I recognized him. I did not, but the face’s expression taught me one thing: he expected it. And, if a dog was expecting to be eaten by his Alpha, it could only mean that the Alpha had been a cannibal for a long time.
“I’m a retard. This is why his hands were shaking. He didn’t have Parkinson, he’s a cannibal.”
However, his little meal didn’t last forever. Soon, the Alpha stopped gnawing on the dog’s entrails and looked at the pony straight in the eyes, blood splattered all over his coat and a twisted look in his eyes.
His nightmarish appearance combined to his short-term plans made me react without thinking.
I jumped through dimensions and appeared with a flash of smoke.
My scythe aimed towards the dog, who suddenly looked slightly bigger, I shouted: “Freeze, son of a whore!”
Something was off. I didn't feel good at all.
Startled by my appearance, both the Alpha and the pony looked at me. The first was surprised and snarled, while the second was more than surprised and passed out.
“Who do you think you are, stupid creature?”
The smoke suddenly darkened the entire room, as I pointed my weaponized arm at the Alpha. “I am the destroyer of souls, and I will shatter the miserable remains of your spirit. I am the emissary of the gods, and I will unleash their wrath upon you! I am Death, and you will fall before me!”
The dog grinned. “A Soul Guide, huh? Too bad for you, I’m more than a simple dog.”
“Yup. Totally unnatural. He shouldn’t know that.”
With an unnatural strength and speed, the Alpha leapt at me, his fist raised in the air.
I watched him come without moving, waiting for him to fall through my pony avatar before I could use a decent spell on him.
Instead of passing through me, his fist went right for my head and hit my mask with an incredible force. My nose was broken by the impact and I fell backwards, pushed away by the weight of his body. When I hit my head on the ground, everything went black.
Date: 18th of August, Second Year of the Game. Location: Unknown.
I opened my eyes on a floating island again.
“I may have forgotten to tell you I just allowed you to jump through dimensions completely. Try to get used quickly to being in the body of a pony, it's not quite the same as that of a human.”
“Dammit, Mercury!”
I lost consciousness again.
Date: 18th of August, Second Year of the Game. Location: Diamond dog den.
I was lying on my back, on the cold ground of the dog’s den.
For the first time in over a year, I could feel the cold wind brushing over me. I could also feel the pain of my broken nose, and the heat of the blood flowing on my face under the mask. I could not feel my fingers, nor my feet; but I had a tail. My forelegs could not easily bend forward, but they were somehow elastic, as if I my bones were made of latex.This whole body made my head spin faster than a scientific centrifuge.
It took my brain no more than thirty seconds to decide I had to empty my stomach, and shortly after, I could feel the bile of this new body inaugurating my oesophagus. It seeped through the mask's holes while I rested there, lying on a side, sometimes moving one leg or the other. I could hear footsteps getting further from me during these moments.
After a few minutes, I turned around and pushed with my forelegs. Slowly, I stood up on my hooves unsteadily. They felt like bendable suction cups instead of actual hooves. On Earth, hooves are only very thick nails, and as such, they are incapable of moving. The hooves I had were more akin to a hand trapped inside a very thick latex cylinder.
Looking at the table, I noticed that the yellow pony that my brother now was had been taken away from the table, his shackles hastily cut off.
The footsteps resounded from behind the throne, tipped on its side. Behind it, a tunnel extended into the wall.
I staggered towards it ever so slowly, holding the mask on my face with my left hoof and trying to walk with three legs instead of two. I did not only hold the mask to prevent my broken nose from stirring around, but also to keep myself awake with the sharp pain it provided.
Date: 18th of August, Second Year of the Game. Location: Unknown.
My footsteps echoed in the tunnel, surprisingly very well lit, during several minutes. It had a steep slope, and it was a bit slippery because of the humidity. I fell a few times, but at least, I managed to hold my mask in place. Most of the time, I leaned on the side of the tunnel with my sides, leaving a trace on the wall.
After the tunnel ended, I reached a tiny rock bridge suspended over an endless abyss, that lead to a large platform against a wall.
Only a yellow body was lying on the platform. The dog wasn’t there.
I crossed the bridge slowly, looking around constantly, but nothing moved.
Reaching the pony’s body, I checked his pulse. It was weak, but he was alive. The question was: for how long?
While I was looking at his wounds, trying to cast spells to close them without any result, the wall’s eyes opened, and a scaly mouth that was masticating the Alpha’s corpse greedily gulped it down in an instant.
The sudden movement in my peripheral vision was largely enough to startle me. Instinctively, I grabbed the unconscious pony and dragged him away. In a few seconds, I almost reached the bridge; but then, a very loud voice could be heard, coming from the wall. “Where do you think you are going, you little weasel!”
When I turned back, I saw it.
A gigantic snake-like being was partially encased in the wall. He was as black as the stone around him, and looked at me with piercing yellow eyes. His head was at least three times my size, and his fangs were dripping with venom.
“I am Sstharos the Great Black Basilisk, eater of cities and destroyer of minds. It’s a pleasure to meet you, and it’ll be a pleasure to eat you.”
He laughed with a guttural voice.
I took a few seconds to find appropriate words, moving my strange new mouth in an unnatural manner. “You… Look like a pretty awful basilisk. Why am I not petrified already?”
“What are you talking about? I’m not a cockatrice, idiot. And I have resisted many of your fellow Guides in the past. Nothing makes you different from them. Why do you think anything different will happen?”
I was terrified. I was vulnerable, unable to properly defend a passed out pony, and facing a giant snake of doom.
“If music worked for the ponies, music will work for horrible snakes from hell. Right?”
I whispered to myself. “Music will make things different.”
My brain, functioning at its maximum power, chose a song for me. I remembered the first few lyrics. And, while I did so, various instruments started playing.
The basilisk was dumbfounded as much as he was angry. “How can you use magic here? Damn you, bastard!”
Then I sang, as loud as I could without magical enhancers, even though I was singing off-key sometimes because of the pain. I told the snake how hard I would hit him, without needing anything byt my hooves.
In response, he spat on and around me. When I protected my face with the scythe, it instantly turned to stone, as well as a few parts of my cape. Hiding my surprise, I kept on singing, promising him the gruesome death he deserved. I slowly walked towards the snake, seeing my distorted reflection in his hatred-filled eyes, and raised my stone scythe in the air, now significantly heavier.
Once I was halfway through the song, after claiming my mercilessness, I stopped walking, and assumed what would be a heroic stance, my cape flowing in the rancid breath of the snake.
Shouting instead of simply singing, I vowed to free Equestria of the scourge he was.
I was abruptly cut off when the snake decided he did not like power metal. His head lunged at me in less than a second, and he bit me.
The enormous fangs perforated my right lung and one of my back legs. Unable to scream, I could only cry as I grabbed a fang with a hoof. It turned to stone and became locked in place.
The snake chewed, and chewed, and chewed again; and I could feel several parts of my shiny new body go numb, before being violently disconnected from the rest of my body. I could feel my blood and organs escaping in my last moments of consciousness. The distress of each one of my body cells was felt and amplified by my brain when they were ripped off of me.
I tried to hit the inside of the snake’s mouth with my scythe, but it did nothing, and soon, I was reduced to a bleeding half of a torso with a barely functioning brain and a very determined hoof made of stone.
The last thought I had was: “I lost.”
A few seconds later, the snake cleared off the last remains of his opponent from his mouth and savored the taste of the rare treat that a Soul Guide was, before eyeing the passed out pony with glee.
Chapter 8 - Death Throes of the Terrorsnake
CHAPTER 8 – Death Throes of the Terrorsnake
Date: Unknown. Location: Unknown.
A voice could be heard in the darkness.
“Wake up and run, little pony. Run for your life.”
It was the same sneering voice as before.
Date: Unknown. Location: Unknown.
Louis woke up on a cold, hard surface. He was still a pony.
Remembering his last vision of a cannibalistic talking dog, the injured pony looked around. No dog was to be seen; but behind him, a huge snake head looked at him with vicious eyes. He did not understand what happened, but things certainly went from bad to worse. [“Oh, shit.”]
He quickly stood up, and trotted away to the stone bridge in front of him, far from the giant snake. One of his rear legs did not answer to his commands and stood there, limp. But it was not enough to distract him from his main mission: escaping this place, once again.
Slowly advancing on the bridge, he constantly looked at the snake behind him. It looked at him too, visibly furious to see its meal go away. It spat and screamed, but nothing reached the fugitive, driven by his survival instinct.
Louis reached the exit tunnel safely, looked at the snake one last time, and slowly climbed its slope.
In the middle of the tunnel, very loud noises of crushed rocks could be heard. The pony accelerated, adrenalin pumping through his veins.
When he reached the throne room, the scent of decay assaulted his nostrils. The dog’s corpse was still there, wide open, its contents spilled on the table and the ground, filling the room with its stench. Pinching his nose with a hoof and wondering how that was possible, the pony staggered through the room slowly and carefully, trying to be silent.
When he reached the room’s exit, he carefully put his head in the tunnel, expecting dog guards to be there. But there were none near the throne room.
He took some time to sit, out of danger, for the first time in several hours. Then, he looked at his limp leg, and his condition puzzled him. Instead of being entirely yellow, a part of it was grey.
Poking it with his hoof, he noticed it was hard. In fact, it was as hard as stone, and roughly stone-colored. But why would his leg be made of stone?
Keeping the preoccupying state of his leg in his mind, Louis decided it was best to keep walking.
In the tunnels further, no dogs waited. The first time he passed through these tunnels, there were guards in some corners. It wasn’t true anymore, and all the previously occupied spots were empty.
After passing through several empty tunnels, the pony stopped checking for dogs everywhere and simply walked the best he could with a partially petrified leg.
He wondered what happened to Earth. How did he get here, in a cartoon world? It was too interactive to be a dream, a bit too lifelike to be a coma… Yet, it definitely happened right after a motorcycle accident at a high speed. And, his body was now that of a pony. He didn’t feel any hands of toes, but he had a tail. Not feeling his hands if they had been crushed in the accident would be logical, but feeling a tail? What did it mean? His entire situation was impossible to understand. But he had to keep calm and carry on, at least until he was out of that dreadful place.
After wandering randomly in the empty tunnels for what seemed to be hours, Louis finally heard noise. The footsteps of several dogs were coming closer. As quick as he could, he hid behind a pillar and waited in the dark, trying to breathe as slowly as possible.
He could hear the large group of dogs discussing as they passed by.
“… was good.”
“But. Chewy parts were bad.”
“Idiot. Chewy parts, not to eat.”
“Then why were they there?”
“It was not made for eat.”
“Why not if made of iron and had juice?”
“You heard, noises. It was moving. And juice was for pony.”
“But, one juice was bad. Why?”
“Ponies have weird tastes.”
“Bah. Still think it was bad idea. We…”
Finally, the dogs were far enough to allow Louis to search for the exit again.
He walked until he reached the end of the corridor; and when he entered the next corridor, his jaw dropped.
[“No! My bike! What did they do!”]
Not much of the motorcycle was left. The entire engine was gone, and the plastic parts were mostly chewed off or torn. The only intact piece was the saddle, and it sat proudly on top of a small debris pile in front of the den’s exit.
Losing no time to bury his noble steed, the pony climbed the stairs slowly and hoped for the best.
His hopes quickly went down in flames, as he heard the voices of dogs discussing in the control room near the stone doors.
Since there was nothing else to do, he hid behind a pillar and waited for them to go away, cogitating about everything that happened to him so far.
Date: Unknown. Location: Unknown.
Mercury tapped on the ground impatiently with his foot. His appointment was due several seconds ago, and, in the Dreamworld, seconds actually last hours.
After a few hours, or seconds in the real world; a cloud of smoke appeared out of thin air, and widened until it was several meters high. Then, a light flash could be seen inside the cloud, and a man spoke. “Ow, ow, ow ow! This hurts! Fuck!”
He tottered out of the cloud and fell on his knees, both hands on his head. “I haven’t had a headache this horrible since forever…” The man breathed heavily, and tried to stop moving.
Mercury looked at him with a smile. “Took you long enough to come here. So… Was it fun?”
The man slowly stood up.
“Barfing and then being mauled to death by a giant snake isn’t quite my definition of ‘fun’. Anyway… Where are we? On Earth?”
“No. Still Equestria. You think I’d let you go that easily? I told you… To win, I am ready to kill you, resurrect you, and kill you again.”
“I did everything you ordered me to do… Why would you do this to me, and why would you even bring my brother here? He’s not supposed to be here!”
Mercury laughed. “You signed for that, even if you didn’t take the time to read everything in our contract.”
“You just… Ah... Fornicate you under consent of king, seriously! He didn’t want to be here!”
“He didn’t but it’s your fault, and I don’t need people’s consent to make them come here anyway. I’m a god. Now, shut up. Go and kill that stupid snake.”
“He said he repelled several other Soul Guides! How am I supposed to beat him?”
“Yeah. He said that. And I said I was a nice guy.”
A short silence ensued.
“Yeah. Good point. But I still don’t know how to beat him, and I don’t even understand how I’m still there.”
“I guess it’s time for another boring lesson…” the god sighed, before resuming his speech. “Soul Guides are bound to the Soul Dimension. That’s what’s interesting about being a Soul Guide: even if being dead is often annoying, you can also be alive sometimes. Your earlier body was just a golem, made with magic, and that you used temporarily as a body. In short, every time you jump into the Mortal Dimension, you generate a body that hosts your soul. And, when you go to the Soul Dimension, you bind that body and the amount of magic required to generate it to your soul in order to use it later, and erase it from the Mortal Dimension. Thanks to this particular bond you’ve got with the Soul Dimension, you can die a lot and it won’t matter. Well, it won’t matter, except for the fact it almost completely drains your magic reserves and lets you feel the pain of death for a while.”
“Uh… Okay. Just… Why does it drain magic if death is basically the same thing as ‘jumping’?”
“Because it’s not the same thing. Jumping is like taking your body and putting it somewhere else, when dying requires you to use magic to recreate a new body from scratch.”
“I think I get it.”
“Good. Now, go back there and die again. I’ll have fun watching you.”
“Nah… I don’t think so. In fact, I have a question for you. May I ask it?”
“Sure. Go ahead. I don’t mind, as long as you entertain me afterwards.”
“Is it possible to affect souls with spells?”
“Yeah, why that? You think you can beat him with a few spells?”
“I do.”
“Then show me what you’ve got, and don’t forget: be dramatic. It’s more fun for me. Now let’s get out of this lousy dream.”
Date: 18th of August, Second Year of the Game. Location: Unknown.
Sstharos the Great Basilisk was angry. The pony escaped and didn’t say a single word, as if the venerable snake didn’t deserve to take his life.
Near him and far away at the same time, I opened my eyes. I was back to the good old Soul Dimension, as intangible as ever.
Looking around, I saw Louis escaping through the tunnel.
During a minute, I searched for French words related to souls and fire. I made a mental list, and, very soon, ended with two words left: “Incendie” and “animisme”. Knowing these two probably had latin roots, I tried to change them into latin words and played around with them.
I ended with the following formula: “Animus Incendium.”
Mustering the magic power I had left, I focused on setting my scythe on fire, and pronounced the incantation.
Nothing happened for a few seconds, but very soon, a strange grey flame ignited my scythe. When I put my hoof above it, I could feel the burn. It was something I did not experience with regular fire.
No one could see me smile.
The snake retracted back into the wall, abandoning the idea of having one more meal.
The pony had only been gone for a few minutes before another voice could be heard. But Sstharos did not like this voice: no one was there, in front of him, and yet he heard the voice as if there was someone.
It said: “Revenge is best served fried.
“Deep fried.”
“Who’s there?” the basilisk asked.
No one answered.
After I finished provoking him and had my share of fun watching my murderer not understanding who talked, I simply plunged the flaming scythe in his body. It opposed no resistance, and I let it inside him for a few seconds.
When I pulled it out of him, the flame was still there, eating his soul away.
Sstharos shrieked, as soon as he felt the flame. Then, he twisted around frantically, feeling that he was burning alive, but unable to extinguish the flame. He moved up and down, smashed the wall with his head and fractured his scales; he even broke the ground in several places, but nothing could help him. He tried to bite himself where he felt the burn, because he was pretty sure rock couldn’t burn; but it was useless, and he kept on feeling the burn.
In his last moments of consciousness, he heard the voice again.
“That’s what you get for killing a Soul Guide.”
Sstharos the Great’s body stopped moving.
In the Soul Dimension, the temperature rose, and I walked away from the burning soul, not really willing to catch fire myself.
I thought about him wriggling around in his last moments, and wondered about what I had done. This was one step above what I did with Shiny Ring and Sky Blue. I did not only kill someone, I destroyed a soul. It would be excluded from life and lost forever, and I was responsible. Yet, I did not especially feel bad, mostly because the basilisk killed me beforehand. It was wrong, yet satisfying. Was it a normal reaction? I wasn’t sure. I never had been sure of what was normal for humans. After all, some say: “Everyone’s normal until you really know them…”
I walked on the bridge and I heard a faint explosion. Something hit me, and I fell on the ground.
Date: Unknown. Location: Unknown.
I opened my eyes in a black nothingness, and couldn’t control my body.
My head hit a wall several times and broke it.
Outside, blurry forms could be seen. Several snake-like beings were on the other side of the wall.
I saw a white flash, and then I was on the other side of the wall. It was an egg.
Another flash, and I was eating some of my weaker brothers and sisters.
More and more flashes blinded me, and, every time, the scenery changed. I grew up quickly, ate some ponies, ate some spiders, ate some dragons, fought a few Soul Guides, joined the army of the great centaur known as Tirek, fought a great battle against the Wardens, lost, and got imprisoned into Tartarus.
Then I corrupted several dogs through the eras, promising them power and fame, rendering them mad. I made them bring me slaves to eat, and ate them when they couldn’t bring slaves. I made them eat the subordinates who defied or failed them, to allow them to reign in fear; and I gave them some of my knowledge, so they could serve me better.
I greeted the last Alpha for the first time. I taught him many things about life, death, magic, gods; and ultimately I had to eat him, because he failed to bring me more food.
Finally, I saw a strange being shrouded in a black costume who tumbled backwards when he saw me. We spoke, he tried to sing. I ate him. And, at the last moment, I started burning. I could not see fire, but I felt it, and it hurt even more than the magical fires my opponents used during the wars I fought. After a while, I fell on the ground, I heard a voice again, and everything went black.
Date: 18th of August, Second Year of the Game. Location: Tartarus.
I woke up on the bridge, an arm dangling over the abyss. I had been reduced to a ghost once again.
The alien memories were still vivid in my mind, as well as the feeling of my soul burning away. The headache it provoked was painful, and I did not dare to worsen it by moving.
A few minutes later, a message appeared in my hand. I lifted the scroll in front of my face, and read. “Pretty nasty side effects, huh?”
“You don’t say…”
Writing back, I asked: “What happened?”
“There’s been a thanatonic explosion. In short, you made his soul explode when you destroyed it, because of the magical overload your spell provoked. It was very entertaining.”
“Does that happen all the time?”
“Sometimes. It depends on the spell you use. Nonetheless, I didn’t foresee that you would set his soul on fire. I like that method.”
“Yeah, great. But why do I have his memories?”
“Oh, that? It’s just a shard of his soul that cut through yours and merged with it.”
“What, you mean I will forever have all the memories of a homicidal giant snake from hell?”
“Exactly. And if too many other creatures’ souls merge with yours, you’ll eventually become completely insane and I’ll laugh my godly ass off.”
“Is there a way to remove these things?”
“There are, but you can’t afford them. However… Win the game for me and I may do that for you as a bonus after it ends…”
“Dammit… And what do I do now?”
“Go and save your brother. He’s hidden near the exit, and he’s got a few urgent problems, like having basilisk venom in his bloodstream.”
“What the hell?”
“It’s not exactly my fault. When the basilisk spat on you, a few droplets landed on Louis’ injury and it went into his blood. So now, he’s going to slowly turn into stone until he dies.”
“Getting turned to stone is bad enough, but why would he even die? I thought petrification worked like cryonics?”
“It is like cryonics… Except that they both have to happen fast if you don’t want to have problems. And the venom creeping through his veins isn’t fast. When it’ll reach his heart and paralyze it, the rest of his body will still need a blood flow. So he will die. A brain without any oxygen input generally doesn’t work very well, you know.”
“Was that a part of your plan too?”
“You can consider that as a toll.”
“Well, then I will demand you commit sexual intercourse with yourself in the land of Hades.”
“Very funny. Now, get back to work and lead him to a healer. Ponies know enough healing magic to avoid the venom’s progression.”
I dropped the parchment and stood up slowly. Avoiding to move too fast in order to prevent the headache from hurting too much, I entered the tunnel leading to the diamond dog’s den.
Date: 18th of August, Second Year of the Game. Location: Diamond dog den.
I staggered through the throne room, dizzy after the long walk I just made. The headache was slowly dissipating, and I could move faster without experiencing a neuronal rave party.
Walking towards the door, I passed through a group of diamond dogs laughing in a corridor. One of them was drunk and threw up everywhere. The others talked about some kinds of juices and mocked him.
“Twash good anyway, shaddap”, the ill one said, before throwing up again.
I left them to their duties and kept on walking.
I understood later what the juice was. Near the stairs, the motorbike’s remains stood in a somehow orderly pile, and the fuel tank had been cast aside and emptied. Yet, none of its contents remained, and the air didn’t smell like gas.
“No way… Did these idiots actually drink the gasoline?”
Looking around, I noticed the motor oil container was also there, but most of the oil remained and had been spilled on the ground.
“Yeah. They drank the damn gasoline. No wonder why that dog was throwing up... Anyway. I should find Louis and open the door.”
There was no sign of him when I reached the closed door; although it was mostly because I didn’t see very well in the dark. I decided to open the doors.
The dogs inside the control room didn’t look like they’d leave soon. Luckily, a tiny smoke illusion was enough to make them go away screaming.
Crashing noises and a cartoon dog tumbling down the stairs surprised the hidden pony, who flattened himself against the wall instinctively.
“Smoke! Smoke! Run!” he heard.
[“Is there a fire or something? I have to get out of here fast!”]
After the last of the dogs disappeared in the corridors down the stairs, Louis slowly walked to the control room. Inside, there was nothing particular.
[“Were they hallucinating?”]
A voice talked to him while he trotted to the windlass. [“Open the doors and go south. You will find a town. Ask for ‘Nurse Sunheart’.”]
[“Who’s there!”]
[“There is no time for that. Your leg is damaged and you will die if you don’t hurry. Open the door and get out of here, now!”]
[“I do what I want, fuck you! I don’t even know you!”]
[“You really want to die? No? Then go south and shut the fuck up, cretin. I'm here to help you, not to kill you.”]
[“Whatever. Screw you.”]
The pony grabbed the winch controlling the windlass and turned it several times. Slowly, the colossal stone doors opened, revealing the pale silvery light of the moon. The cold wind entered the stairway, and Louis could feel it brush against his body slowly.
He took a big breath, savoring the feeling of fresh air in his new lungs, and headed north.
[“That’s not south, idiot. Go the other way! There are only deserts up north! Don’t be a retard, dammit!”]
[“Yeah. Right. And why would I believe you?”]
[“I know that you have a box of condoms in your sock drawer. You don’t want me to tell your mom that it’s almost empty.”]
[“What? Who are you, a mind-reader or something?”]
[“I’m your guide. Now, go south and shut up.”]
The pony harrumphed and turned back.
[“Can you help me at least?”]
[“Using a magically transferred voice is already too much. I can’t do anything for you now.”]
“Tssk.”
He headed south and kept his mouth shut during the travel, occasionally guided by the strange voice.
Date: 19th of August, Second Year of the Game. Location: Appleloosa.
The sheriff patrolled in the main street of his beloved village. It was a fine morning if he ever saw one. There were no buffalos to be scared of, no diamond dogs, not a single predatory animal around, and the smoke thing was gone, according to the town’s pianist.
Twisting his moustache around, his eyes closed, the sheriff savored the morning air, as well as the flowery scent of pastries and bread coming from the bakery down the street. He stood there in the sunlight, content, and silently thanked Celestia for her beautiful mornings.
Behind him, a voice interrupted his meditation and asked him a question in a language the sheriff did not understand. Turning back, he saw an exhausted yellow pony fellow, bleeding and shaking, his eyes outlined by violet semicircles. He babbled two words and collapsed on the ground. Sheriff Silverstar, however, did know these two words: “Nurse Sunheart.”
Losing no time, the heroic mustachioed guardian of peace sprinted to the nurse’s house and executed a perfect roundhouse kick to open her door. With an ear-shattering crack, it flew open and hit the wall on the other side of the hinge, its knob leaving a dent in the wall.
“Get dressed, milady, we’ve got a life to save!” he shouted through the doorframe.
The drowsy unicorn mare, half-asleep and sipping coffee, still wearing her pajamas, looked at the sheriff through the kitchen’s door. “You know… You should really stop doing that, doors are expensive. It’s the third this year…”
“I told you, no time to lose! One of our compatriots just fell in a coma right over there after asking for help!”
“Very well. Let’s go.”
She let her mug fall in the sink and the pair walked into the street, to have a look at the unconscious stranger in the middle of the street.
“Oh my, this poor stallion has been somewhere terrible! Look at this! He’s even petrified in some places… And he’s a blank flank… For someone this old, it’s very strange. I’ve never seen this before. We must carry him to the infirmary!”
“It will be done.”
Sheriff Silverstar put the stranger on his back and pushed forth with all his might.
Huffing and puffing, the relatively small earth pony still managed to bring the unconscious pony to the infirmary, where he dropped him on a bed. Nurse Sunheart followed closely, monitoring the stranger’s pulse. Immediately after he was laid down on the bed, she hooked a few syringes in his skin and raced to her laboratory, in order to prepare a poultice working against the petrification. She had to infuse several plants and other ingredients with magical energy, or else it wouldn’t do anything.
Seeing as his deeds were accomplished, Sheriff Silverstar exited the infirmary with a proud smile, twirling his moustache more than he ever did before.
Concentrated on healing her patient, Nurse Sunheart jumped out of the laboratory and into the infirmary a few minutes later, her poultice held in her mouth. She dropped it in surprise when she saw her patient’s first visitor, but instead of hitting the ground, the poultice slowly levitated and went on the petrified leg by itself, even though there was no magical aura around it.
The strange pony known as Phantom was there, in the infirmary, with her.
“H-hello. What do you want?”
“Hello, Nurse. To answer your question, I want you to take care of him. He is very important. If you do this for me, Appleloosa can consider its future debt towards me fulfilled.”
“What debt?”
“I am going to definitely get rid of the diamond dog pack nearby.”
And, without a word, he vanished in a black smoke cloud.
Nurse Sunheart immediately went back to work, curious about the pony’s identity. If he was important to such a being, he must have been special.
Date: 19th of August, Second Year of the Game. Location: Diamond dog den.
I spared my magic reserves the best I could during Louis’ walk. I only gave him directions when necessary, and didn’t cast any fancy spell. It was necessary, if I wanted to cast all the spells I needed later.
Once I was certain he would be in good hands, I went back to the infamous rock and stairs.
Nobody closed the doors. Something was wrong.
I jumped through dimensions, taking away a good part of my magical reserves in a single spell. Slowly, I touched my mask with my hoof and flexed some muscles. It was good to be back inside a physical body… Even if it wasn't my own. I couldn’t refrain from moving my right foreleg upwards and silently thinking: “Yes!”
But there were urgent matters to be taken care of, so I carefully walked down the stairs without waiting too much. It was a tricky exercise when you had four legs instead of two, and I almost tripped several times.
In the control room, a diamond dog was talking alone in a corner. The sound of my steps snapped him out of his trance. Pointing a shaky arm at me, he asked me who was there.
It was the one-eyed dog that I slapped with my “statue” before. Someone gouged out his only valid eye, its inner liquids having been splattered on his fur and mixed with blood.
I did not bother taking care of him, he was harmless. Instead, I asked him a question.
“What happened here?”
“No, no, NO! GO AWAY! NOT YOU!” the dog yelled, crawling backwards in panic as he recognized the voice his friends described.
“Answer or die.”
“The Alpha dead! Everyone fight!”
“You want to live?”
“Yes, yes! Don’t kill!”
“Then, don’t move an inch and wait for me.”
“Will wait. Please don’t kill.”
I turned back and exited the room.
Down in the tunnel, chaos reigned. Several dogs were dead or dying on the floor in some corridors, and clattering sounds could be heard everywhere.
Further, in the throne room, a bloody brawl was taking place. Two dozens of diamond dogs ran around, clawing and biting each other in a blind fury.
Their fight came to a halt when a powerful voice pierced their eardrums. “ENOUGH!”
Snarling, they looked at the source of the voice. All their faces became void of rage and were filled with fear when they saw the smoke cloud, surrounding ghosts of their fallen comrades and a macabre pony dressed in black.
Suddenly, the whole group reunited and cowered in dread, hiding behind the broken furniture lying around.
“What exactly happened here?” the grisly voice asked, inquisitive, as the smoke cloud came closer to the crowd.
Some dogs immediately started rambling about incoherently.
“SILENCE! The leader may step forward and explain.”
Two bleeding dogs stood out of the crowd and both declared they were.
“Ah, I see. The old Delta. And who is the other one?” the shadow addressed Sly.
“I am new Alpha!” the other shouted.
Sly punched him and answered: “He is challenger.”
“Well then. It seems you all have been fighting for the throne. Is that it?”
The Delta took a few seconds to choose his words and answered. “Yes. Alpha killed Beta and ate him. Then Alpha disappeared. Then Gamma was killed in fight for being Alpha.”
“I see. Then the Delta will lead the pack.”
The challenger harrumphed. “This not the way of diamond dogs!”
“Do you think you are powerful enough to question my judgment?”
He crossed his arms and nodded, defying the shadow. “Yes.”
“I can ruin your life with a single spell, by using ancient and mighty magic that even ponies do not understand.”
The challenger did not care. In fact, proving that he was stronger than the smoke would be a great thing, and many others would want him for Alpha if he vanquished his opponent. “I, stronger than you.”
“Fine. You asked for it.”
The smoke cloud covered the pony. A few seconds later, he reappeared and yelled: “VISCERIS INVERSUM!”
A slight tingling was felt by the challenger, but nothing else happen. “Ha! Worthless magic. I, more strong!”
“It was only the first part of the spell, stupid meatbag.”
The shadow immediately finished the incantation. “MERDA FLUVIUM!”
The entire belly of the targeted diamond dog moved of its own accord. He fell on the ground, a hand allowing him to stay above the ground while the other one grabbed his stomach. Opening his mouth instinctively, the dog felt his insides empty themselves through it.
As the other diamond dogs jumped away in horror, a muddy torrent escaped from the challenger’s mouth, preventing him from speaking or breathing. During more than twenty seconds, he constantly threw up his own excrements, looking at the black magician in despair.
The aforementioned magician only stared at him without saying anything, his white and unmoving eyes contrasting with the dark smoke.
When the spell ended, the dog coughed, trying to breathe, choking with the foul water remaining in his mouth.
“Well, what do you have to say?”
The dog remained silent and looked at the ground, helpless.
“I always knew you were full of shit.”
And then, the mage laughed. His cavernous voice echoed in the throne room, and the other dogs’ laughs slowly added themselves to the noise. In the end, everyone was mocking the challenger.
It was the worst day of his life.
Interrupting the general laughter, the previous Delta, now Alpha, stepped forward and asked the mage: “What you want now?”
“Tell me about your previous Alpha. Who was he, why did he eat his own kind, and when did he become Alpha?”
“A year ago. We were poor and homeless. Another clan took our home. He was Alpha for some time already, but then he told we he had a dream. In dream, a silver dog talked him about here. So we came here. And he ate everyone weaker who was challenger after. I know not anything else. Sorry. Please don’t kill we.”
“I will probably not kill anyone. But I have to tell you one thing: I just put a curse on you all. If you enslave ponies again, you will die horribly. Is that clear?”
The Alpha’s hands ran over his body, searching for anything different during a few seconds; before answering, his pupils dilated in fear: “Yes! We will not take more ponies!”
“Good. And now, I’ll leave you one last chance to live. Listen carefully. Do you have explosives?”
“Things that boom?”
“Yes.”
“We have.”
“Perfect. Then, bring them all to the door’s control room, near the stairs, and pack up everything you need to survive in bags. You’re going to find another place to live and go away from here. This place is cursed, and I will destroy it.”
“We will do.”
He turned back and addressed the silent crowd. “Now, we make bags and go away! Do what smoke says!”
They all scurried away, save for the challenger who stood there, miserable, bathing in his own excrements. He did not dare to speak, because he knew something horrible would happen to him again.
The mage pointed a foreleg at his face, and the dog put his arms in front of it to protect himself.
“VISCERIS INVERSUM!”
He whined, unsure of what happened.
“This is your chance to live a new, better life. I cancelled the effects of my spell. Now, learn of your mistakes and do not repeat them. Flee this place. Find your destiny. And don’t forget: no more slavery.”
The defeated challenger did not wait for another order and ran away.
Date: 20th of August, Second Year of the Game. Location: Diamond dog den entrance.
The pack set off to the east without looking back. They did as I told them and went for the Marble Pillars, where they could learn what a life without being a slaver was. They even accepted to keep the blind one with them, even though he was nothing but a burden.
I looked one last time at the dreaded tunnels before throwing a fireball in the middle of the stairs.
A colossal explosion blast pushed me backwards, and my cape flowed in the air current for a few seconds. I had to say, this pony body was far more stable than my old human one. Having four legs was practical, when you didn't have to climb stairs.
With the explosion, the stairs and most of the den’s tunnels collapsed, sealing this path to Tartarus forever. I knew there were more like this elsewhere, but at least this one was closed.
“After all, the Hero of Kvatch didn’t close all of the Oblivion Gates in a single day.”
I headed to Appleloosa, dragging behind me a little sledge that I ordered the dogs to make for me before they departed. Its metallic cargo, glimmering in the sunlight, could have blinded anyone who looked at it too much.
I still don’t know why I let them live at that moment. When I came to these tunnels, my intention was to bury them with it. Yet, I chose to let them go away and potentially do something stupid elsewhere.
I guess I have too much faith in sentient beings, these days.
Chapter 9 - Blood Brothers
CHAPTER 9 - Blood Brothers
Date: 22nd of August, Second Year of the Game. Location: Appleloosa.
I reached Appleloosa while Louis was resting in a hospital bed. Nurse Sunheart took good care of him during the time he stayed there, and he already was in a much better shape. Although he still had a partially petrified leg, his wounds were patched up and mostly cicatrized. He looked well fed and rested too, thanks to the semi-magical intravenous drips they had.
Since he was asleep when I reached Appleloosa, I talked to Nurse Sunheart for a while.
She told me that classical unicorn healing magic was powerless against what petrified his leg: it merely slowed down the propagation. When I explained what happened in the tunnels, it turned out she didn’t even know what a basilisk was. We tried several other remedies at random, but it always held the same results as the poultice and used rarer ingredients.
By the end of the day, I received a message from Mercury.
“Watching you searching for a cure is hilarious, but it’s a waste of time and it would be counterproductive to let Louis die. So I’ll be concise: There is no way to fully heal this in this country. The only thing that can completely eradicate basilisk venom on this planet is the holy water of the Healing Shrine, located in the south of the Black Marsh. You have to bring him there and make him bathe in the pool, but he must also drink some of the water. That way, he will be fully cleaned of any illnesses and curses, including the petrifying venom. Don’t disappoint me, or you’ll regret it. You know how I am and what I do when people fail me.”
I tried to think of any possible alternative solution, and asked Mercury about one. “Can’t I just make him a new body and tie his soul to it, the same way I create bodies for myself when jumping through dimensions?”
“You think I didn’t imagine that possibility? When I brought it here, I prevented his soul from being able to bond with any other body. If he loses that body, he dies. You can hold on to his soul as much as you want afterwards, he’ll be dead anyway. Now, stop sending letters. Go to the Black Marsh, presto.
“PS: Don’t forget about that pain-induced coma that might happen if you tell too much. You were awfully close to that ‘too much’ with your little allusion to his sock drawer.”
Resigned to follow his orders, I did not answer and sat on the chair near my brother’s bed. He was a perfectly normal Earth pony, albeit very tall compared to others. Every other pony was a midget compared to him. With a nice set of fake wings and a fake horn, he could easily pass for an Alicorn. That parallel also made me realize how tall my body was: I was slightly taller than my brother on Earth, so I'd undoubtedly be taller on Equis too.
Considering this, I noticed that I didn't take time to look at my new body. Consequently, I decided to take a look at myself with the mirror located in the bathroom nearby.
A few seconds later, I had my answer: I was a very tall pony, as expected, and I wore a costume that was exactly the same as the one I had in the Soul Dimension as expected. The only true differences were due to the ponies' different physionomy: the mask was different, although still as scary as ever; and the scythe was further up on the leg, so I could walk without it constantly hitting the ground.
On a side note, a slightly unnerving smoke cloud was surrounding me, and it seemed as alive as myself. I understood why everyone feared me.
Immediately after I went back in the room with Louis, I realized that here on Equis, Louis was a simple Earth pony. And that meant he was deprived of magic, except for a few things related to growing plants. But that was not interesting.
The only source of magic that could be useful in dangerous situations was me, and I had a limited supply. That meant I was bound to follow him everywhere. Otherwise, a single second of inattention and he’d end up dead, especially where we were going. And on top of all that, he didn’t know anything about that world, and I wouldn’t have the right to tell him everything I knew because that would lead to Earth-related talks.
“At least I’m not the only human here anymore…” I thought, reminiscing about my pseudo-life in Ponyville.
Letting him heal in peace, I left the infirmary and walked through the city with my two pairs of legs, gazing into the distant sunset.
A long-forgotten growl reminded me of a recent change. My now physical stomach needed something to dissolve, and I decided to honor its demands. However, the only person who would give me anything here would be Jolly Jester, the local “friends-with-everyone” guy.
The door to Jester’s house pleasantly creaked when I opened it with my hoof instead of pushing it with telekinesis. Being able to feel things was reassuring, even if it was only through a glove. The sledge creaked behind me, grating on the floor.
“Oh hey, Phantom! Where have you been? Notes told me you were gone for a while but I didn't think it would be this long! You didn’t even tell me!”
“Sorry buddy, I had a very urgent problem of diamond dog infestation. However, now I have another one, and I need your help.”
His eyes instantly filled with sparks, he blathered about an epic quest to fight dragons and find a legendary sword at the other end of the world. That dream was interrupted when I plugged his mouth with my hoof.
“Dude, I’m hungry. That’s the only problem I have right now. Oh and, the sleigh outside carries things that belong to me; I’ll just put it in that closet later if you don’t mind.”
His pupils narrowed for a second and came back to normal before he exclaimed: “Hutsh wunurfl! Uhr nushughush uhnnimuhr!”
Picturing him wearing a gas mask and carrying a flamethrower, I laughed a bit and pulled my hoof back.
He repeated: “That’s wonderful! You’re not a ghost anymore!”
“Well I’m still kind of a ghost, but sometimes I can have a body now.”
“We have to celebrate this! Let’s party!”
“I don’t think anyone will want to come…”
“Oh… Yeah, you’re right. People here still don’t really like you. I don’t know why, though! You’re funny.”
“Everyone’s funny, according to your standards…”
“It’s not true! For example, Mister Saltworthy isn’t funny.”
“Give me another example.”
“Uh… Yeah, right. Okay. You win. So what do you want to eat?”
“I could go for a good old steak with fries, but ponies don’t eat meat and cows are sentient beings in Equestria…”
“Heh... I'll just take some fries, if you have any.”
“Okay, I'll do that right away. Oh and, what’s under that mask anyway? I wanna see your face!”
Without any warning, his hooves grabbed the sides of my mask and he pulled, pushing on my torso with his back legs. His weight pushed the air out of my lungs and I had to run into a wall to make him stop for a few seconds. The mask didn’t move an inch, so he decided to pull the hood instead. But it didn’t move either.
Only yelling could get him out of his whim. “Stop that, you idiot! It doesn’t work! You’re strangling me!”
Seeing his efforts were useless, he jumped back and looked at me, his hoof under his chin.
“Hmmph. That’s strange. How are you even supposed to eat with this?”
“Uh… Actually that’s a very good question. I didn’t think of that yet.”
I touched my mask with my hoof and tried to find a lock or button. But there was none. After all, Mercury’s orders were clear: no one was to see my true face.
“Well, shit. Sorry, but I have to send a message to someone right now. See you in a few minutes.”
I put my sledge in the closet, leapt to the commode where I knew Jolly stored a few scrolls and quills, took enough to write and ran for the door the best I could with two pairs of legs and a much less slender body.
“I’ll prepare a few fries in the meantime, friend!”
“Yeah, do that, it’ll be great. Thanks!”
After exiting the house, I sat on a wooden barrel between two other houses nearby and wrote my message. “How am I supposed to eat with my mask?”
Immediately, the answer appeared. “Simply cram some food through the holes.” Following the text, a crude depiction of a wrinkly face with an awfully large smile was at the bottom of the letter.
“Seriously, how do I do?”
“Your mask is like a wall. Make your food pass through it, that’s all.”
“So eating consumes my magic reserves? That sucks!”
“Indeed. But the mask does that automatically for you since it’s got a particular relation with your body, and it really spends a negligible amount of magic anyway. If you consciously desire to eat something, it’ll be able to pass through the mask, as well as the thing holding that food, whether that is your hoof or a fork.”
“Can I pass my hoof through my mask for other reasons then?”
“As long as you think about going through the mask, it is possible.”
Having all the answers needed, I folded the paper and burned it with a small fire spell before going back to Jolly Jester’s house. The smell of fried potatoes filled the house. Breathing with delight, I walked to the kitchen and found Jester humming in front of his cooking apparel.
A few minutes later, everything was ready. I set the table and waited for Jolly Jester to bring the potatoes. When he walked in the dining room, carrying two plates filled with little mountains of fries, I couldn’t help but to salivate.
“And here you go! Enjoy your meal, Phantom!” he said, putting a plate in front of me.
“Thanks, dude! You too!”
Picking the first few fries with my hoof was something strange. The fries stuck to the outline, as if it was a magical field of some sort that allowed me to glue things to my body at will.When I looked at the fries sideways, they weren't in contact with my hoof itself, but really only with its outline. Yet, I could feel their heat and texture. It seemed that ponies had a sixth sense somehow; a sixth sense that allowed them to feel their outline and use it to manipulate things. For a human such as I, it was confusing, to say the least.
Slowly, I moved my foreleg upwards, imagining what could happen when the fries would come near my face. I heard a tiny whisper emanating from it. The fries encountered no solid obstacle, and ended their journey in my open mouth.
Never, have I eaten fries this intense in the past. During the entire meal, the salt grains ran on my tongue, dancing a taste gig with the potatoes, while my teeth mashed the crispy parts of the golden-clad vegetables. I could feel my tongue slightly burned by the fries, but I couldn’t care less. It was the most satisfying meal I had in my entire life.
Besides me, Jolly Jester was eyeing my hoof, going through my mask thanks to a tiny black cloud. “Uh-uh. So that’s how it works. Well then! What do you think?”
“I don’t know if it’s because I haven’t eaten in so long or if you’re an awesome cook, or even if it’s Equestrian food that’s so tasty, but it was awesome.”
“Thanks for the semi-compliment! Have some more, then!” the pony said, smiling, while he gave me his plate, a few fries still sitting on it.
“Ah, no, thanks, it’s too much already. I don’t want to feel like I ate a brick.”
“Suit yourself,” Jolly said, taking his plate back.
Walking to the door, I told him: “I’ve got someone to see at the infirmary. I’ll go there for a while. Don’t wait for me!”
“Oh, it’s that new pony Sheriff Silverstar was rambling about? Okay. See you later!”
The nurse was already in the infirmary when I reached it. According to her, Louis woke up while I was gone, but he fell asleep again shortly. She didn’t understand what he said.
“Well I guess I’ll be there for a while.”
Leaving me in the room with her patient, she left the infirmary for the night, as I watched the sun reddening in the horizon through the window.
Thinking about my magical speech impediment, I tried to think about what Mercury would deem acceptable. In fear of another blackout, I decided to avoid telling absolutely anything related to me.
For the first time in more than a year, I felt my body trying to get me to sleep. My eyes shut themselves down, and I silently delved into the blackest of dreamless nights.
Date: 23rd of August, very early morning, Second Year of the Game. Location: Appleloosa’s infirmary.
A familiar voice woke me up with incomprehensible words.
[“Shut up, Louis. I’m trying to sleep.”]
I felt my head spin back into the land of dreams.
[“You idiot! Help me! Do something! And why do you even know my name?”]
All the events that occurred during the previous year sprung off of my memories and hit my mind like a supersonic jet would hit a bird. I suddenly sat up in surprise. [“Gah! Yeah, yeah, sorry. So, how are you?”]
[“Huh? ’How are you’? What kind of question is that?”] he said, holding his head with both hooves. [“Someone did something weird to my bike while I was on the road, then I had an accident and probably fell into a coma, and then I suddenly am a damn horse midget for no reason, in a world filled with all sorts of shitty horse midgets and crazy talking dogs living in tunnels. I AM NOT OKAY! EVERYTHING IS TERRIBLE!”]
He silently looked at me for a few seconds. [“And in the middle of this cursed coma-induced nightmare, there’s a horse midget dressed as a bad guy from a Batman movie! WHY! I DON’T GET IT! THIS DOESN’T MAKE ANY SENSE!”]
[“Calm down… Let me explain, okay? I’m your guide from earlier, remember me?”]
[“It’s YOU! Okay, now I’m mad. You left me all alone in a desert!”]
[“I already told you: I had almost no magic power left, and it was hard to talk. Plus, you’re here now. It’s fine!”]
[“No, it’s NOT! I’m in a cartoon, for fuck’s sake! So explain, and start with the beginning. Why. Am. I. In. A. Cartoon!”]
[“This isn’t technically a cartoon. And by the way, you’re not in a coma. This is reality. It’s just not the reality you’re used to… Cartoons are nothing but other universes, separate from yours and somehow independent. Although I’m not sure myself if your original universe is involved in the creation of this one, I’m sure there are ‘higher-ranked’ universes; and they are ‘above’ the one you lived in, in the sense that your universe originated from them somehow.”]
[“Well that’s really great! My reality isn’t really reality! What else?”]
[“Some of the beings you know as gods have the ability to go through the universes and carry people with them. This is what happened to you, and now you’re here. Why this universe in particular, I don’t know. But it doesn’t matter. And, for information, the god who brought you here is Mercury, god of thieves, travelers, merchants, boundaries; and leader of souls to the afterlife. He is my master, unfortunately for reasons I cannot disclose. My primary task for now is to assist you in your quest for a shrine located in the Black Marsh that will heal your leg.”]
[“Yeah, okay, I’ve been brought here by a Greek god. Whatever.”]
[“No, he’s Roman.”]
[“He can go fuck himself, for all I care.”]
[“Stop swearing. You know what your mother would say.”]
[“Tsk. Whatever. Now, tell me about that leg. Why can’t I feel anything back there?”]
[“You were almost eaten by a basilisk.”]
[“Wait, what? A basilisk, as in ‘a fucking giant magic snake of death’? That was what I saw in that cave?”]
[“Yeah. Mostly.”]
[“Great. Give me a Nimbus 2000 and I’ll just fly away from this place.”]
[“That doesn’t work in this universe. Anyway. You were almost eaten by that basilisk, but I managed to drag you far enough. The problem is that during my fight with him, some of his venom went inside your wounds and it petrified a part of your leg.”]
[“I’m becoming a statue. Wonderful. But… What happened to you during the fight? You weren't there when I woke up.”]
[“He ate me.”]
[“Hahaha. I think you look pretty good for someone who’s been eaten by a giant snake,”] Louis said with a smirk.
[“This isn’t my body from back then. The previous body I had was damaged beyond any hope of repair, so I made a new one.”]
Louis looked at me, amazed and incredulous at the same time. [“Can’t you just do that for me and be done with this petrification thing then? Better even, why don’t you just make a human body for me? I don’t want to have four legs!”]
[“I can’t. Mercury prevents me to.”]
He punched the bed in anger. [“Fuck this bastard, seriously! Why does he do that?”]
[“As far as I know, gods do that for fun. But there’s also another reason. A game is currently taking place here, with big rewards at stake; and several gods of various civilizations and eras all brought humans in this world, so they could be their champions. The rules are fairly simple. And the last one whose human is alive wins the game. Since you’re here, you seem to be Mercury’s champion. ”]
[“Why me? I’m not a hero! I didn’t even reach the age of majority!”]
[“There are even younger humans here. And, you know, Mercury’s plans go far beyond the idea of winning the game normally. I don’t know what he’s trying to pull off, but he’s not doing things like other gods do.”]
[“Great. So let’s assume you’re right and this is not a dream. I’m just a clueless tool, in the middle of the shittiest universe ever, with a god-damned petrified leg, and I have to obey some bitchy retarded guy from Roman legends because he has magical powers.”]
[“That’s about it.”]
[“Fantastic. It totally doesn’t sound like I’m high on morphin in an ambulance. Now what do I do about that leg?”]
[“First thing to do is to stop swearing, it won’t heal it faster. To come back on the topic, in theory, the pony civilization has enough knowledge to heal petrified people, but they don’t know anything about basilisks. So the only solution we have is to go to the Black Marsh.”]
[“That doesn’t sound very appealing. And, uh, what will happen if I don’t go there?”]
[“You’ll die. And I don’t want that to happen.”]
[“Okay. Now I’m scared.”]
[“No need to. I’ll guide you to safety. But I can only do that if you listen to me… Right, Mr I-wanna-go-north?”]
Embarrassed, he smiled. [“Yeah, right… If we’re going to travel together, though, I’d like you to tell me what’s your name. If you have one, that is.”]
[“The people around here call me Phantom.”]
[“Then, Phantom it will be. And you already know my name… How is that possible, by the way?”]
A short blank in the conversation ensued.
[“Tch. Mercury told me, duh!”]
[“Of course.”]
A sweat drop rolled on my temple. “That was close.”
[“So… What are we going to do now? I hate being stuck in a bed.”]
[“I know… I-I hate it too, I mean. Well, uh, how about I get you out of here and we go buy ourselves a pair of train tickets for the Black Marsh?”]
[“Do these trains even have air conditioning? It's kinda hot around here.”]
[“Nope. The technology around here isn’t better than what w- humans had two centuries ago.”]
[“Grrreat. And how long is the trip?”]
[“Several days at least.”]
[“I’m going to die.”]
[“Not if you do what I say. Now, please go back to sleep. We’ll talk about that tomorrow. It’s the middle of the night…”]
[“I’m not tired…”]
[“Just shut your eyes and your mouth. I won’t ask for more.”]
Date: 23rd of August, Second Year of the Game. Location: Appleloosa’s infirmary.
“Oh hey, you two! Wake up! It’s noon!”
I quickly sat up, cracking my back after being in an awkward position for several hours. “Hello, Mrs. Sunheart! How are you?”
“Fine, and you?”
“I can’t say I didn’t sleep well. I’m sure he did too,” I said, pointing at Louis.
“Well, that’s great! Oh, and, here’s what you asked for.” Nurse Sunheart was carrying a bag containing several poultices.
I told her to prepare some of these poultices, so we could travel without having to prepare them ourselves. I wasn’t really sure I could replicate her methods. Furthermore, she really cared about the well-being of her few patients. I felt like I abused of her hospitality, but she never showed any sign of discontent and prepared lots of these poultices without even asking for money.
Louis slowly opened his eyes and watched the nurse walking around, attentive but mute.
Nurse Sunheart took a quick look at his leg. “So far, it’s okay. The condition is stable at least.”
While she checked one of her devices, she asked him: “I didn’t get your name while you were there. What is it?”
He looked at me in despair. [“I hate speaking English… Can’t you answer for me? Please…”]
Sighing, I told her: “You shall call him Louis. He’s F-Prench, and he doesn’t speak Equestrian very well.”
A spark was lit in her eyes as her smile widened. “Really? I’ve always wanted to go to Prance. But you know, with all these patients that keep coming, it’s hard to take a vacation around here… How is it over there ?”
Louis’s eyes widened. [“Wait, did I understand? Is she speaking about France?”]
[“Well, yeah, but it’s not the one you know. It’s called Prance with a P, and it’s populated with ponies and griffons.”]
He frowned. [“Shit. I knew it. This was too good to be true.”]
“He said it’s a nice country. But he’s not really informed about the daily news from there: he’s been abroad for a very long time.”
Nurse Sunheart’s smile faded away slightly. “It’s a shame. Really… Can’t he tell me about his adventures then?”
I took a few seconds to find a perfect alibi. “Most of them are classified information. He works for the Prench secret services. Sorry. Oh and, by the way, Louis isn’t his real name.”
“You know, you’re doing nothing to make my curiosity go away here, Mr. Phantom,” she said, sighing. “I guess I’ll have to leave him go with you then, since you two seem to know each other. He’s alright now. However, I’d like to ask a question before you go: why is he a blank flank?”
“It’s a spell invented by the Prench special operations department. No one knows his true identity that way.”
“Very clever! I’ve never heard of such a spell before. The Prench really are inventive… And secretive too,” the mare said with a blush, her eyes pointed at the ceiling.
“Yeah, I guess so…”
Louis observed the dialogue without saying a word for a while, but he was getting bored. [“When are we getting out of this place?”]
[“I just told her you were the pony equivalent of OSS 117. Now we can go, but try to act as if you were some kind of special ops guy. Get out first, and then follow me when I’ll be outside.”]
[“Huh. Okay, I guess.”]
Once the nurse took back her drips and other medical items, Louis hopped on the ground. He clumsily turned towards Nurse Sunheart, did the military salute, and declared: “Merci, chère madame. Au revoir, peut-être.”
The mare swooned in delight, stars literally dancing in her cartoonish eyes. She babbled incoherently for a while before shaking her head. Displaying an embarrassed smile at the considerably taller satllion, she said: “See you soon, Louis. I hope I’ll know your true name someday...”
I put my hoof on her shoulder when Louis exited the infirmary. “He’s too young for you… Wait for a few years at least.”
“What? I wasn’t-”
“Yes, you were. You didn’t notice it, that’s all,” I retorted, laughing. I grabbed the poultices with telekinesis and headed outside. “See you around, Nurse Sunheart!”
I waved her goodbye and closed the door.
“These people are weird, but charming nonetheless.”
Nurse Sunheart scratched her head before turning back, and dreamed of living somewhere else. She craved for some tasty chocolate éclairs.
The two outlanders were alone, walking in the middle of the street. The stark sunlight would have rendered the atmosphere absolutely unbreathable, if it wasn’t for that small gust of wind that washed over them every now and then.
[“So, Louis, what do you think of this world? Isn’t it nice?”]
[“It’s, uh. Disturbing. You know, me and my brother always thought it’d be awesome to be in a different world, like in a video game or something.”]
[“My brother and I. Not ‘me and my brother’,”] I corrected him.
[“You sound an awful lot like him.”]
[“He is well educated, I guess.”]
The Chess Piece sighed. [“Anyway… This isn’t the kind of world we dreamed of visiting. It was more like, The Elder Scrolls or Stargate. Or even The Lord of the Rings. This entire world right here, it’s nothing like these other universes. I mean, there seems to be ‘magic’ and all, but it’s just… It’s way too weird. Why ponies, I mean? I’ve never even heard of a cartoon like that, on Earth. I know I’ve stopped watching cartoons a while ago, but surely I’d have heard of such a thing. Do you even know what Earth is, by the way?”]
Carefully choosing my words in order to avoid being magically tased again, I answered: [“I know that there is a cartoon called ‘My Little Pony’ there. I am sure you know this name.”]
[“Come on. These things are for babies. There certainly aren’t cannibals in a cartoon for little girls, right?”]
[“What happens on-screen isn’t what happens everywhere in the world.”]
[“Right. Then, what happens if I go and meet one of the main characters? Will anyone on Earth see me?”]
I remembered the time when Mercury told me about the relations between universes. Although I didn’t trust him at all, these informations didn’t seem to be entirely false either.
[“I am not sure about what I’m going to say. Only gods might be the ones who truly know. I’m not even sure they do. But, in short, I believe that parallel universes like this one are independent from the one where Earth is. Once they appear, they split from their representations on Earth, and become something else entirely. You know, by the way, I’m not even sure of which Earth you’re talking about. There’s an infinite number of Earths as well. There’s probably several versions of you in different universes, somewhere far away from here. All of them are living their lives normally, while you have been dragged away from your universe.”]
[“So there’s no way to contact Earth… What will my family think, then? Will they believe I’m dead?”]
[“As far as I know, time behaves in a very strange way. According to what Mercury told me, your universe’s time stops flowing when you quit it. It is, at the same time, moving and immobile. If you exit this universe , then you will have the ability to reintegrate your original universe at the moment you left it. As if nothing ever happened. The only thing that will stay as is will be your memories of your journey.”]
[“Well then. Time to find a solution to get out of here. How do I do that?”]
[“There is only one way to go back to your universe: win the game.”]
[“And how do I do that ?”]
[“As far as I know, this entire game is more or less a deathmatch, where several dozens of gods bring their chosen humans for the fight. The last one alive wins, and his god wins by extension. Some of the gods also apparently keep a score list based on the various non-human kills their Pieces do, but I'm not sure it has anything to do with winning the game.”]
[“But I don’t want to kill people or even animals for that shitty ‘game’! I’m not a criminal!”]
[“Then you will have to wait for the other Pieces to die. Or you will have to die yourself. However, there is no guarantee that you’ll go back to Earth if you die here. Actually, I am pretty sure that you’ll die definitely. It is not an option.”]
[“Isn’t there any way to win without killing people, then?”]
[“As far as I know, there isn’t any. I’m sorry.”]
[“Great.”]
Louis sat on the ground in the street. He looked at his legs. Tears were brimming in his eyes. He didn’t care if anyone saw him. He was a monster, he was far away from home in a place where even the basic rules of physics didn’t apply, and he was alone. Nothing made sense here, but it was his life now. It was horrible, and he didn’t ask for it. He didn’t even do anything to deserve that.
[“Come on, Louis. Keep walking. You’ll have all the time to regret things later. If you stand here, you’re going to have a sunburn.”]
The yellow pony didn’t answer, slowly stood up and followed his quadrupedal guide through the city, dragging his hooves a few steps behind. He couldn’t stop thinking about what would happen to him later. The idea of spending an entire life in this place was terrifying.
Past him, I often took a few quick looks at him discretely, hoping that he wouldn’t be too traumatized by what happened to him. I also had my own reasons to mope around, though. His vulnerability and my limited power, assorted to the time limit we had because of the petrification going on, were very worrying. I wasn’t sure I could save him, and I could never forgive myself if he died. It was my fault if he was here in the first place.
None of us spoke again before we reached Jolly Jester’s house.
When I knocked on the door, Louis asked: [“What are we doing here?”]
[“One of my friends lives in that house. His name is Jolly Jester.”]
[“He’s a pony too?”]
[“Indeed.”]
[“Well then. What will we be doing in there?”]
[“We’ll eat with him, sleep, and tomorrow we’ll be going.”]
[“We’ll go where?”]
[“I already told you. We need to go to the Black Marsh in order to find the holy shrine that will allow us to heal your leg definitely.”]
[“Right. I forgot about that. Let’s go, then. I don’t want to end as a statue.”]
Before I could put my hoof on the doorknob, the door flew open and a white blur popped out, as well as a bunch of confettis. Both of us were surprised, and Louis even fell back on his butt.
“Welcooooome, stranger!” Jester yelled, smiling so hard we could see past his last teeth. “And you, Phantom, too,” he said, only looking at me for a second. Immediately turning back to Louis, he kept on speaking; while the Chess Piece, still sitting on the ground, slowly crept backwards with his forehooves. “So what’s your name, friend? And how do you know Phantom? Do you know his name? He didn’t tell me. Oh hey, you’re a blank flank! Why that? That’s weird. But I’m weird too sometimes. Although less than Phantom right there. Anyway. You li-“
Once again, I had to shut his mouth manually. “He doesn’t understand Equestrian, his name is Louis, and he calls me Phantom too.”
I took my hoof back. The prankmaster didn’t say anything for a few seconds, and Louis sighed in relief.
“Oh, bother. I won’t even be able to tell him my best jokes. What a shame.”
“Bah. Don’t worry about that. We won’t be staying here for long anyway.”
Jolly Jester’s brows furrowed. “Where are you going?”
“That’s classified information.”
“Awesome! I’ll come with you!” he said, jumping on the spot.
Having a pretty good idea of how he would react, I decided to try another solution: honesty. “We’re going to the Black Marsh.”
The Appleloosan stopped jumping around at once. “Nevermind!” he said, suddenly less enthusiastic about coming with us. “But why would you be going there? It’s an awful place for a vacation...”
“He’s cursed.” Pointing at Louis’ flank, I explained: “See that spot there? It’s turned to stone, and the rest of his body is slowly getting petrified. None of the usual methods work, but there’s a sacred shrine in that swamp that can save him. If we don’t go there, he dies.”
Jolly Jester cringed. “Oh, my! The poor fellow... That’s terrible! When will you go then? I suppose you can’t wait here for more than a few days?”
“We’ll take the first train to Canterlot, and I’ll see what to do once we’ll be there.”
“Okay. So, how may I help you right now?”
“Well, actually, he hasn’t eaten in a while. Would you please cook some more delicious fries for us?”
Jester laughed. “Yeah, okay, I’ll cook more of my awetastic fries. Fries for everyone!”
[“Louis, prepare yourself to taste the best fries you’ve ever eaten.”]
My brother looked at me in shock. [“Fries? Yeah, awesome!”] he shouted. [“If there’s fries, I guess this world isn’t so terrible, after all! Well, it's not the worst I could have imagined. It's, uh, slightly better.”]
[“You got it! Now, come on, let’s get inside and set the table.”]
An hour later, the three of us were chatting in the living room, our hungers sated.
[“So, Louis, how were the fries?”]
He wiped his mouth with a hoof before answering: [“Meh. I’ve eaten better on Earth.”]
He looked like he kept thinking about Earth, but didn't speak at all. He never had been prone to talk about his emotions.
Slowly sliding on a seat, he closed his eyes, assuming a typical human stance, his legs extended in front of him. Finally, the tall pony could take some time to daydream, after a quite eventful arrival in Equestria.
“What did he say?” Jester inquired.
“He thinks your fries were okay, but the ones from his country were better. There’s no place like home, as the saying goes…”
“Yeah, I can understand that. I miss home too, sometimes.”
“I’ve never asked you, by the way. Where are you from? I mean, it’s pretty obvious that you’re a zony, but-”
“What’s a zony?”
“That word’s a portmanteau.”
“What’s a portmanteau?”
I swiftly brought my hoof to my forehead before resuming my explanation. “A portmanteau is a word composed of two other words, just like 'awetastic'. You know, you said that earlier.”
I almost could see a lightbulb appearing above his head. “I get it! So, uh, why's zony a powtmontow?”
“It’s a mix between zebra and pony. So it implies that you have ancestors that were both zebras and ponies. Isn't it right?”
“Yup. I get it now. I like that word! And yes, I’m a zony. You unmasked me!” the stallion laughed heartily. “And actually, I’m from Stalliongrad. I love that city. My parents lived there for a while. Before that, my father was a sailor and my mother lived in the islands. They met, they loved each other, and they decided to live somewhere else. After that, I was born. The end.”
“Short story, but it’s nice. I hope I’ll meet them someday.”
“They’re not really great when it comes to humor, you know. We’ve had a few, or no, rather a lot of disagreements, to be honest. That’s why I decided to live far away.”
“I’ve had problems of my own like this one before. Well. Anyway. Before I forget about it, I have something for you. Let me find it.”
“Oh, a present? I love presents!”
“It’s, um, maybe, yeah. Let’s say it’s a present. It’s also a bit of a compensation for all that time you spent with me when no one else would, but I can call that a present. Anyway, do you have any idea of the value of precious gems? Because I don't.”
Jester looked at me with a curious look. “Why are you asking me that?”
“Wait here.”
I walked to the door leading inside the closet under the stairs. Inside that closet was the sledge I carried back from the diamond dog den. Of course, it carried the entire skeleton and detached parts of my trusty old motorbike, now devoid of an engine; but there was an extra, hidden in a rather large and not-so-secret compartment on the sledge.
Seeing as the diamond dogs owned several invaluable relics they wouldn’t really need, I ordered them to give me some as well. I told them it was the price for their life; but actually, it was rather because I was too lazy to earn my money by working normally later.
Thanks to their credulity, I was in possession of several artifacts made of pure gold, such as two crowns and a shield; as well as a hefty pile of precious gems, some being as big as my fist.
Among the latters, I picked two large gems that didn’t have any imperfections and went back to the living room.
Jolly Jester, perched atop his couch, was waiting for me just like a dog would have, the only difference being that he wasn’t constantly panting. When he saw the two gems, his eyes widened suddenly and his mouth hung low, completely limp.
Feeling that he wouldn’t say anything, I spoke up as I held a gem high in the air. “This, my friend, is a reward. You might say that friendship is its own reward; and I agree with that. But I do not need everything that I own, yet you do. This is why I am pleased to offer you this gem. Take it as your future birthday present that I probably won’t be there to give you,” I said, handing him the first one.
His voice suddenly was more acute. “It’s so beautiful… Phantom, thanks. I just can’t say how much I love you. I don’t care that people don’t offer me presents often, but, damn. This is too generous.”
“Don’t worry. As I said, I don’t need it. You do. As for the second gem, however, it is not for you but for someone else in Appleloosa. In fact, it is for Nurse Sunheart. She has healed Louis without asking for anything; and I feel like she deserves this. It’s also because Sheriff Silverstar busted her door again, because of Louis. So, indirectly, I am responsible for this expense. ”
“Okay… You're nice and all, but I don't really see why a stranger like you would do this for her.”
“I don’t like the idea of being indebted to anyone. Anyway, I will ask you to deliver this second gem to Nurse Sunheart the day after I go, with a letter I’ll write for her.”
“Will do.”
“Perfect. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ll have to go buy train tickets with Louis,” I said, patting the latter’s shoulder.
He twitched in surprise. [“I’m still in this place. Damn.”]
[“Yes, you are. Don’t expect waking up on Earth anytime soon, Louis… And now, come with me, we need to buy train tickets.”]
[“With whose money? I have none,”] he said, motioning at the place where his wallet should have been if he had pants.
[“Don’t worry, I got us covered,”] I said, while walking towards the closet.
A few seconds later, my brother held in his hooves a golden bracelet, as well as a few small gems that certainly were worth something. [“Wow, how much is that worth? It’s gotta be like, a million euros!”]
[“Nope. In Equestria, gems are used as food sometimes, so their value is very low compared to the prices you can see on Earth.”]
[“Food? What the hell? Who would eat gems?”]
[“You remember those dogs who kidnapped you? Well, their teeth are hard enough to eat gems. For them, gems taste like sweets. And dragons do that too.”]
[“Wait, there’s DRAGONS here?”]
[“Yes. But don’t worry; we shouldn’t meet any, except maybe one who’s inoffensive. Anyway, let’s stop talking and go buy these train tickets. You’re going to have to speak English, though. The ticket booth guy probably won’t want to sell me anything, he’ll be too afraid for that.”]
[“Aw, balls. I hate speaking English!”]
[“Just say ‘I want two train tickets please’… It’s not like it’s hard or anything. You’re supposed to learn that in the 6th grade…”]
[“But I have a terrible accent! He’ll know I’m not one of them!”]
[“Remember: there’s an equivalent of France in this world. He’ll just think you’re a stupid tourist.”]
[“I don’t want to be a stupid tourist.”]
[“Tsk. Now shut up and let’s go,”] I said, pushing Louis out of the room. “See you soon, Jester!” I said, waving at him.
“Yeah, see you later, Phantom. Thanks again!”
Louis and I exited the wooden house and went back in the street, blinded by the intense sunlight after having stayed inside for so long. The gems and the bracelet were tightly locked inside a small leather pouch belonging to Jester that I grabbed on the way out. I gave them to Louis, who didn’t understand what to do.
[“Hold them yourself. I don’t have hands.”]
[“I don't either. And anyway, as the saying goes, when in Rome, do as the Romans do.”]
[“We’re not in Rome.”]
[“You know what I mean. Ponies hold things with their mouths, do it too.”]
He sighed, but accepted his fate nonetheless. The pouch firmly held in his mouth, he constantly muttered to himself while following me.
A few minutes later, he was in front of the train station’s ticket booth. Ready to follow the instructions I gave him, such as trying to have an even worse accent, Louis threw the bag on the booth and addressed the old pony who was inside. “Hello, sir. I wont to bui two tickuts for Cuntorlot.”
The train station employee’s brow and mustache both furrowed. “You mean, Canterlot?”
“Yes, yes. Sorry, I am a strenger. I do not know Ekestria very vell.”
“It’s okay, young lad. I understand. So, let’s see… Canterlot, Canterlot…” the old stallion said, as he flipped through a worn booklet titled “train schedules”. A few seconds later, he exclaimed: “Ah, yes! There it is. The next train for Canterlot is due tonight, at exactly five o’clock.”
“Perrrfect. I wont to take dis train.”
“I don’t think your little bag here holds enough bits for two tickets, my boy.”
“Open it. It is not moni.”
The old pony grabbed the bag and emptied it on the booth’s surface. A handful of gems came out, as well as a small golden bracelet. Gauging their value for a while, the employee finally declared: “I’m afraid this isn’t enough.”
“Whot?”
“That’s about worth one ticket and a half, not much more.”
Remembering my advice of using his foreigner status at his advantage, Louis decided it was time to confuse the employee a little. “Voyons, cher ami, cet objet d’art appartient à la famille royale! Il vaut bien plus cher que deux misérables billets de train. Prenez-le et donnez-moi mes tickets.”
The old pony looked suspicious. “I don’t understand what you say, but I think I caught a word. Did you say anything about royalty?”
“Yes. Dis brasselut vas oned by a prrrince.”
“Really?”
“Yes. Rrreally.”
Sensing a potential scam in his favor, the old pony instantly agreed. “Very well! Here’s your two train tickets then. Have fun in Canterlot!” he said, throwing the two tickets to Louis.
“Thanks. Good bye.”
As soon as Louis turned back with his ticket and pouch in his mouth; the ticket booth pony squinted and looked around quickly. Since apparently no one was looking at him, he stuffed the bracelet in his jacket and only put the gems in the cash register, a small smirk on his face.
He didn’t notice it, but a flash of light briefly illuminated the street while he was hiding the bracelet.
Soon after, Louis came back to my hideout, which was a conveniently placed barrel, and gave me the two tickets. [“There’s been a symbol that appeared on my ass! What the fuck, Phantom?”]
I looked at his flank. [“That’s your emblem. You certainly have noticed that every pony here has one, right? In fact, it’s something that more or less determines your future, what you’re good at, that kind of things. Everyone earns one during their life, generally after childhood. You didn’t have one because you appeared here recently, but now you’ve found something you’re good at. And, uh, your emblem appears to be a caduceus. That’s the symbol of Mercury. So it can mean pretty much anything. But, judging by the fact you just earned this after bargaining, I’d say it means you’re good at trading things.”]
His hoof hit his forehead. [“What a lousy talent.”]
[“Hey, don’t complain. Some people’s emblems indicate that they should devote their life to harvesting apples.”]
[“Okay, I take it back. Trading is good. So, what do we do now that we’ve got these tickets?”]
[“According to the tickets, the train arrives in three hours. We should go back to Jolly Jester’s house and take my stuff. Oh and, there’s your bike there too.”]
[“You took it? Why? The dogs ruined it!”]
[“For your information, they’re ‘diamond dogs’. You know, because they eat diamonds. Anyway, I took a look at the bike, and it turned out they only ate the engine and a few pieces of plastic. The rest is mostly intact. So the only thing we need to entirely replace is the engine; and I know where I can do that. As for the few scratches here and there, magic and a blacksmith will do the trick.”]
[“What, are you going to go see a train maker or something?”]
[“Nope. Trains are lousy here. But the ponies use magic-based engines in some aircraft. We’re going to try to find a guy who knows how to make a smaller version of these engines, and we’ll put it on the bike.”]
[“If you say so…”]
[“Come on. Let’s get back to Jester’s house.”]
Once again, we walked in the empty streets of Appleloosa side by side, yet more alone than ever. None of us could stop thinking about our homeland.
I was so bored I started singing a song I loved, and various alien instruments suddenly resounded everywhere in Appleloosa. THe song I chose told the story of a man reminding his hurtful past. It was about how terrible this man's world was, reminding me in a way of my birthplace, even though I still did like that planet.
Louis was amazed by the music, coming from everywhere at the same time, and so familiar. [“Hey, I know that song. It's from Earth.”]
After the second verse, my brother looked at me, intrigued. [“Isn't this...?”]
I wanted to keep on singing, but Mercury had other plans. Because of him, I completely butchered the chorus when I reached it. “We're blood braaaAAAAAAAAAAguah.”
The music crashed down suddenly, as if the ghostly musicians playing it had dropped their instruments on the ground.
What an idiot I can be, sometimes.
CHAPTER 10 – Freak Train
Date: 23rd of August, Second Year of the Game. Location: Appleloosa.
I woke up in the middle of Appleloosa’s main street, already standing up. In the distance, I could see the world’s end. The desert faded away in a white void, and nothing could be seen beyond that limit.
“You went too far this time, Marc. I warned you before…”
I turned back to face Mercury, who was leaning on the wooden wall of a house with his arms crossed. “It was just a song… Come on.”
“That’s still an infraction that earned you a punishment… You disappointed me today. Thus, I declare that from now on, your ability to regain magic power when you are in the material world will be severely diminished.”
“How am I going to help Louis if I’m powerless? Do you want him to die or what? ”
“You’ll help him by making a choice: you’ll use either magic, or your body. Not both. That is the price to pay for your error.”
My face did not move an inch and remained the cold skin mask it always had been; but inside of my head, a fire was burning. “Some day, Mercury, I swear you’ll pay for your own errors.”
He laughed softly. “And what error did I commit, O venerable human?”
“You brought me here. And then you made me angry. You know that very well… Angry lawyers always get what they want.”
“Huh. We’ll see about that, ghost boy. Now get out of here.”
He snapped his fingers and I lost consciousness.
Date: 23rd of August, Second Year of the Game. Location: Appleloosa.
I woke up in the infirmary, only to see a pony’s head leaning over my belly. I immediately recognized the fiery orange mane of Nurse Sunheart, who was apparently trying to listen to my heart with a stethoscope.
“Hello, nurse.”
These two words were enough to make her jump to the roof screaming, her mane suddenly straighter than a bundle of needles.
When she fell back on the ground, the paralyzed nurse looked at me with near-empty eyes, her hoof gripping her chest.
“Y-y-you were dead! I-I mean, you had no pulse!”
I shrugged. “Yeah, yeah, I know. I tend to do that a lot nowadays.”
Wiping her forehead, she said: “Well, I guess you can go then, since you look fine. Louis came back to Jolly Jester’s house after bringing you here. He was rather scared and needed someone.”
“Thank you, once again. Oh and by the way, could you tell me how long I’ve been there?”
“Two hours.”
“Damn. It wasn’t that long last time. Well anyway, see you soon. I’ll be going, I don’t have time to lose,” I said, as I hopped off of the bed and raced to the door clumsily, still not quite used to having four feet.
Shortly after, I barged in my friend’s house, out of breath. Louis and Jester were trying to wrap the motorcycle up with cloth in the middle of the corridor, because they wanted it to be correctly attached to the sledge.
When he saw me, Louis smiled for the first time since he arrived on Equis. [“Phantom! Awesome! I thought we’d have to find another train. What happened to you?”]
At the same time, Jester looked at me with wide-open eyes without saying anything, almost as if he just saw a dead man walking.
[“No time to explain. Keep on wrapping that bike, I have to write something.”]
I rushed to the cabinet where Jolly Jester stored his writing apparatus, grabbed everything I needed and started writing a letter destined to Nurse Sunheart.
Twenty minutes later, the letter was written and sealed. Jester and Louis finished wrapping the bike a while ago, and they were both taking a drink in the kitchen.
I walked to them and declared: “Well, Jolly Jester, I’m sorry to have scared you with my little accident, but I can assure you, it’s nothing. Don’t worry for me.”
His brow furrowed. “If you say so.”
“Yeah. I do. Now, excuse me but we’re going to have to go, the train is due soon.”
I put the letter on his table and explained: “This is for Nurse Sunheart. Bring it to her tomorrow, okay?”
He nodded, grabbed the envelope and trotted off to his bedroom, where he already had stored the gem that was meant for Nurse Sunheart.
Losing no time, I immediately spoke to Louis. [“You’re going to have to travel alone.”]
My brother looked at me in disbelief. [“Why?”]
[“You know what happened earlier, when I fell into a coma and all? It’s because I almost did something I don’t have the right to do. And now Mercury removed my ability to regain magic when I have a body. It’s hard to explain, but in short, I can disappear from the material world and still be there, because I’m a ghost most of the time. So you see, I’ll always be there, and occasionally I’ll talk to you; but I can’t always physically be there if we want to make it to the Black Marsh. If I keep my body all the time, I can’t use more than one or two spells, and we need more than that. Okay?”]
[“Uh… Yeah? I’m not sure I understand. Is it going to be like when I was in the desert?”]
[“Pretty much, yeah. But I’ll really help you from now on. When you were in the desert, I used up almost all my magic power and couldn’t do anything.”]
Louis sighed. [“Meh. As long as I can heal this leg in the end, it’s okay I guess… But I still can’t believe this is a part of my body. I can’t even believe that this whole thing is my body.”]
[“You’d better get used to it, because you’re not going to go back to Earth any time soon.”]
“Hmm, nothing happened. Apparently I can tell him about his own past, as long as I don’t mention mine. Good to know.”
[“Say what you want, I’m still pretty sure this is all some kind of very complicated dream. I’m having an internal dialogue with the emo part of my brain, that’s all.”]
[“I’m not you, and I’m not emo. I didn’t choose these clothes. Mercury put them on me. It’s my uniform, somehow. And stop believing you are-”]
We were interrupted by our common friend, who put the letter in a secured place. He quickly asked: “Hey, when is that train coming already?”
“About half an hour. We have to hurry.”
“Alrighty! Let’s go, friends!”
Louis and I grabbed the sled that stood in the middle of the corridor, and the three of us headed outside.
Ten minutes later, we reached the train station. As soon as the people there saw me, they stared at me awkwardly and tried to stay at least five meters away from me. I was used to it, but it wasn’t any less annoying.
Looking around, Louis noticed all the weird looks he was being given by the people standing nearby. [“Hey… Phantom… Why do these people avoid us?”]
[“They avoid me, not us three. They’re scared of me. They’re not like you. Humans are different. Humans fight the unknown. Ponies simply flee. They’re herbivores, and their primal instincts are those of herbivores. Of course, the more intelligent ones can suppress their instincts, but when reason fails, their reaction always ends up being the same.”]
[“Huh. I see. Well. I guess I won’t speak to other people a lot, if they all do like that.”]
[“I’ll go back to my ghost form probably very soon. We will need big spells at some point in time, and I can’t do those with a body. So no one will see me during these moments.”]
[“Okay. Very well then.”]
Louis, feeling that the conversation had come to a halt, decided to take a look at the landscape. The orange light of the western sun covered the desert with a thousand glittering dots. It was quite the sight to behold, for someone who never saw a desert with his own eyes.
Meanwhile, I turned back and spoke with Jolly Jester for a while, during the last few minutes before the train came. I never really discussed about the future, and kept diverting the conversation towards the time I’ve spent in Appleloosa. I didn’t want to tell him that I’d probably never see him again. As far as I knew at that moment, I probably would get kicked out of Equestria before I had the chance to even think about the friends I made there.
A quarter of an hour later, the loud tooting of the train’s locomotive marked the end of our idle chat. The shrieking brakes made us all cringe before the black steel behemoth finally came to a halt in front of us, emitting a surprisingly clear smoke.
While the first passengers walked towards the train’s doors, Jolly Jester spoke up. “Well that’s it then?”
Imitating the famous red pony the best I could, I answered: “Eyup.”
He looked at my brother and I. “See you soon, guys. It’s a shame I didn’t get to know you better. I’m sure there’s much more jokes I can learn from you, Phantom; and much more foreign words I can learn from you, Louis.”
“Rest assured, we’ll be back if we can. I don’t know when, but I’ll send you a letter someday anyway. Okay?”
“All right. I’ll be waiting for that letter then! Have fun in the Black Marsh… As much as one could call that ‘fun’.”
“Bah. Don’t worry for us. We’ll be fine.”
As we were shaking hooves, both of us declared simultaneously: “Good bye.”
A few minutes later, Louis and I found a place in the freight wagons, since no one wanted me to be in the regular wagons. Even the controllers didn’t want to check my ticket or question the presence of this huge sled we carried. The smoke that constantly surrounded me was enough to deter them.
Although it saddened me to scare people away with my looks, I was sure that it would be practical someday. After all, I wasn’t sent to Equestria in order to meet the locals and have a cup of coffee with them.
Louis interrupted my contemplation of our situation by walking in front of me and asking a question. [“Hey. Do you think I could go back in the wagons? I prefer seats.”]
[“You can try. If I don’t come along, they might accept you. But I’ll stay here,”] I said, sighing in acceptance.
Slightly embarrassed to leave me alone, Louis still longed for a comfortable place. [“Okay. Well, see you later then.”]
He looked at me one last time before opening the door, and exited the wagon.
“And I’m alone, once again… At least we’re safe, I guess. And Louis doesn’t seem to take his abduction too bad. Still, I wish I could just tell him who I am. This whole thing sucks.”
Considering everything that happened, I sat in front of the window and let my mind wander off, imagining a thousand scenarios about our future on Equis as the trees zoomed past me.
Date: 24th of August, Second Year of the Game. Location: Train tracks, between Appleloosa and Trottingham.
[“All these damn horses have been looking at me all the time since I’ve entered the room. Every time I look at them, they turn their eyes away, yet I know that they look at me. I’m supposed to be one of these idiots, dammit. Why do they do this?”]
Several families were in the same wagon as him. A few lonely ponies were there too. Old, young, rich or poor, alone or in a group, it didn’t matter: none of them missed an occasion to stare at him when he looked elsewhere.
It had been hours since he entered the wagon, but Louis never felt their looks dying down, as if he was a threat to their existence simply because he traveled with the wrong person. Even if it wasn’t morning yet, they couldn’t just go to sleep. They had to look at him constantly.
While he was pondering about their behavior, Louis saw one of the travelers look at him, from the corner of his eye. The darkness reigned in the train, but there was enough light to see sparks in the eyes of those who glared at him.
It was time to do something.
Instantly, he looked straight in the eyes of the pony who was eyeing him. The stranger’s eyes widened, as his face changed and displayed fear instead of morbid curiosity.
Filled with contempt when he saw what effect he had, Louis sternly asked: “Why.”
Not one second, did he lower or blink his eyes.
No answer came. Once again, his mouth opened itself and a sound came out. But this time, it was more elaborate. “Why you look at me all the time.”
The despicably cowardly pony in front of him was probably homeless, judging by his scraggly mane and the dirty spots on his chest’s fur. He should have been used to see scarier things. And he probably ate some of these things. Yet, he was absolutely unable to even consider talking with Louis. He was a pariah in the pony society, but even he did not dare to say anything to the man who traveled with the abomination that hid in the last wagons.
Feeling much too oppressed by Louis’ gaze, the dirty pony averted his eyes in shame and exited the wagon without a noise.
During the whole scene, the others were watching. And now, it was their turn to be watched.
As soon as the door was closed, Louis’ stare darted to the eyes of someone else, who also finally exited the wagon without saying anything.
One by one, they exited the train car, and no one answered his simple, yet terrifying question.
Why.
None of the ponies could face the truth: they were so scared of the unknown that they didn’t dare question its presence and moved away themselves instead.
If it was a dream, it was not amusing. There apparently was no place for dream logic, as one would expect in the real world, yet it couldn’t be fully real. Things didn’t have an outline in real life, horses weren’t sentient, bones weren’t flexible. It could not be real, yet it felt like it was. He had to breathe, to walk, to think. He could even sleep. But this whole situation was impossible.
And he, as a simple student, did not know what to do when things were impossible and kept happening. No one taught him how to answer that. His mind tried to find solutions, but there were none to be found. Finally, when all of his ideas were debunked by his own mind, it simply shut down, and he let his tears flow freely.
He was helpless, there wasn’t any other way to say it. He was trapped in another world, alone, lost, and everyone hated him because of a stupid horse with a silly costume who followed him everywhere.
Cherishing the last memories of his life on Earth, Louis drifted off to sleep as he cursed the entire world and the thing that brought him here.
Date: 24th of August, Second Year of the Game. Location: Trottingham.
The ear-killing screech of the train’s brakes suddenly interrupted Louis’ dreamless sleep.
He was still as alone as ever, save for one thing. Phantom was sitting in a cloud of smoke at the other end of the train car.
Annoyed, he spat: [“Oh. It’s you. Where are we?”]
The stern answer immediately came, although Louis felt Phantom was trying to be friendly somehow. [“Trottingham. It’s a small town, still far from our final destination. Are you hungry? The train will stay there for half an hour. We can go out and buy something. Since no one knows me around here, or at least I hope so, there shouldn’t be a problem.”]
Sighing, Louis stated: [“Yeah. Let’s go. I’m tired of these retards.”]
[“What happened?”]
[“Nothing,”] he said while waving his foreleg in a dismissive motion.
[“I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what’s wrong.”]
Louis sighed in annoyance, once again. [“Everything is wrong. This world is wrong, the people are wrong, you are wrong, I am wrong, even the laws of physics are wrong. And I just can’t deal with all this bullshit.”]
Shrugging off, I answered: [“Trust me, you’re not alone here. There’s plenty of other Chess Pieces around here, somewhere. Maybe someday we’ll find other humans.”]
Louis immediately lashed out at me: [“You just don’t get it, do you! I don’t want other humans here, I want to go back to my damn planet! And my body!”]
[“I know… But that’s not possible for now. We can’t fight against gods. The only thing we can do right now is to accomplish their orders.”]
My brother didn’t say a word. He only looked at me with eyes that said: “Go to hell”.
[“Listen, Louis, I don’t want that to happen to you either. But I can’t do anything against a god.”]
Still mute, he exited our train car slowly, and found himself in the one where his previous “admirers” were. During a few seconds, he had to face the looks of the people who fled earlier. They all displayed contempt and hatred. However, as soon as I opened the door too, their expressions changed suddenly. Many of them even turned their heads away. I could almost hear them think: “He’s not there, he’s not there, he’s not there…”
Louis simply walked off, containing his frustration, but I had another idea. Before exiting the train, I took the gravest voice I could have, and declared: “Equestria did not prosper thanks to ponies like you who are afraid of the unknown. Instead of being the pride of your species, you act just like the primitive cave-dwellers that ponies were, hundreds of thousands of years ago. Be ashamed of yourselves.”
Leaving them to meditate on that message, I jumped off the train and onto the street. As I saw it, Trottingham seemed to be the perfect replica of a charming village from England’s countryside in the eighteenth century; save for its inhabitants who had been replaced by ponies.
Nonetheless, it was not the village’s appearance that worried me, but the people’s reactions. In Appleloosa, everyone knew about me. From the sheriff to the miners, there wasn’t one person in town who hadn’t heard of the “Smoke Stallion”. My abilities also had been greatly exaggerated by the constant gossip that went on in this town. Of course, it was useful, at a certain extent, but I never foresaw that it would prevent me from socializing. And so, I feared that the people’s reactions might be the same here. It was quite far away, but I had stayed a while in Appleloosa after all. The rumors had largely enough time to spread…
Louis interrupted my thought process with a pat on the shoulder. [“Hey, where do we go now?”]
[“I don’t know this place. We’ll keep walking until we find a restaurant or something.”]
Wordless, both of us walked away from the stationed train, glancing at both sides of the road in the hopes of finding a place that would accept me. A few minutes later, I finally spotted a tavern that seemed decent enough without being too uptight either. A small wooden sign displayed the picture of a white pony holding a beer mug, as well as a name: “The Drinking Pony”.
“God… This world is based on references. Meh. At least I’m pretty sure it won’t be too terrible.”
[“Hey, Louis. Let’s get in there.”]
[“Hmph. Whatever. You first.”]
Trying to stay discrete, I opened the door slowly, but without doing it slowly enough to make it creak uselessly either. Fortunately, this was enough, since the dozen of clients didn’t hear me and kept noisily discussing. The bar’s patron was not looking at me and seemed to be washing a glass. A pale dishcloth hung loosely on his back, almost invisible on his immaculate white coat.
Quickly, I motioned Louis to come in while I approached the bar counter. I could see a few of the clients looking at me already, but the patron didn’t see me yet. During a second, I could look at the prices he asked for, since they written on a large slate hanging on the wall above him.
However, the sudden disappearance of all sounds in the room made the patron’s ear fidget slightly: everyone looked at me but him. When he turned around, he found himself facing a gigantic and seemingly armored person, handing him a small bunch of gems. Handling the situation rather well, the patron declared, with a drop of sweat trickling down his jaw: “Hello, what can I do for you? Maybe you’re interested in our selection of beers and rums?”
His forced smile was so unnatural it almost made me laugh, even though my extremely grave voice didn’t let that transpire. “Two full meals, please. No alcohol.”
“Fine, then! It’ll be two full meals! That’s 10 bits.”
As I pushed the gems further on his side on the counter, he looked at them for a while before lifting his eyes. “Nope, that won’t do. These gems aren’t good enough. Maybe you should consider having actual money, huh?”
Trying to avoid any confrontation, I simply showed him a small golden trinket, much more elaborate than anything I saw so far. Taking the gems back, I put the trinket on his side of the counter. “I don’t have money on me right now.”
“Well, that’ll be enough, then. Now go sit there, it’ll be ready in about ten minutes,” he said while pointing to a table in a corner of the room. Of course, this table was the furthest from the rest of the clients, but I rather saw it as a reason to not be bothered by anyone.
The other clients started talking again. Louis and I promptly went to the designated table and sat nearby.
A few seconds after we reached the table, he asked me: [“Hey, Phantom, what’s it on the menu?”]
I murmured my answer: [“Vegetarian bullshit. Let’s start whispering from now on, I don’t think they would tolerate someone who eats meat.”]
Dubious, my brother whispered nonetheless. [“Aw, man. Do these guys really never eat meat?”]
I shook my head. [“Nope. All damn herbivores. However, there are a few places where you can find meat… But they’re usually far away from here. It’s because of the griffins who live up in the north. They eat meat.”]
[“Griffins? Wow. Damn. This world is better than I thought. Do they talk too?”]
[“Of course. Why would restaurants serve meat otherwise?”]
Slapping himself on the forehead, he said: [“Damn, dumb question. Nevermind. So, what other myths actually exist in this world?”]
[“Well, there’s minotaurs, and they talk, there’s hydras, there’s dragons and they talk too, but you already know that, there’s probably a few giant Leviathan-like sea monsters, and in general, there’s magic, but you already know that too. Oh and yeah, there’s windigos, some kind of pony spirits of anger who generate cold. They come from an Amerindian myth. I’m not sure about the rest.”]
[“Hmm. Okay. I guess that’s good enough.”]
[“There’s also a bunch of Chess Pieces who have the appearance of other mythological beasts. But don’t be fooled, if you see something too original, like a Hellboy-esque person, it’s a Chess Piece, not a regular inhabitant of this world. Oh and right, about Chess Pieces, they’re not always very dangerous beings, in essence. For example, I know of two who don’t even come close to you, and you’re not that powerful… There’s one who’s a cat, and another who’s a cow. However, be aware: that cow wears a suit, and under that suit is a shotgun. And pepper spray. But that shouldn't matter. She’s actually fighting for the greater good, and I don’t think you’re against that. Right?”]
[“Yup. Totally not going to fight a cow in a suit over her plans. I don’t plan on doing anything related to this place anyway. I’d rather have my leg healed first, rather than saving the world or anything.”]
[“Fine. Now, let’s wait for the meal to come by.”]
[“Buh. Waiting is boring.”]
Louis subsequently put his forelegs on the table and rested his head on them.
Always on the lookout, I turned my head towards the other people in the room. Some of them still were staring at me. I decided to stare back and try to imagine what their lives were, just as I did with humans in the subway every morning.
The clear blue Pegasus in a corner certainly was not a racer, he was way too weak for that. He probably was a simple weather guy from around there. The brown earth pony in front of him, however, seemed to be the kind of burly guy you’d expect to find in a farm.
And then there was that second earth pony guy, sitting alone behind a table full of empty bottles. His forelegs crossed, the ebony black drunkard defiantly stared at me, his mouth distorted into an angry grin. Thirty long seconds passed, and I couldn't really define who he was. Maybe a mercenary, maybe a farm worker, maybe a retired soldier, maybe a sailor.
However, he decided he had been examined enough after a while. As mute as ever, he suddenly punched his table and jumped up before walking towards me. I kept on staring at him during the whole time he took to cross the room, while everyone else stopped talking and looked at me again. Louis was surprised, but he let me handle the situation when I motioned him to keep his mouth shut.
Twenty seconds later, the angry pony slammed his hoof on the table and put his face very close to mine. I could feel the heat of his rancid breath when he spat: “I don’t like your looks, stranger. Maybe you should pay me a drink if you don’t want me to kick you out of here.”
Eyeing his table, I asked: “Tell me, how much drinks did you take today? Were all these bottles full when the bartender gave them to you?”
“Yeah. And I’m damn fine because I’m tougher than you little shit. ‘No alcohol’,” he said, while imitating what one would assume to be a pansy little girl.
Putting my hooves under my chin and my elbows on the table, I said, with a considerably lighter tone: “Do you know where the ethanol molecules that reside in alcohol go when you drink them, and what is their main property?”
The drunkard’s eyes rolled around as he retorted: “What the buck does it matter. I want another drink now, and you’re going to offer it to me or I’ll smash your face, you bastard.”
With a smirk that he could not see, I retorted: “Wrong answer. Ethanol molecules go straight to your brain, and their main property is to be extremely inflammable. You don’t want me, a mage from the High Lunar Academy, to make your brain explode with a single little fire spell, do you?”
Seeing his snarl getting disintegrated and replaced with fear was absolutely priceless.
He stuttered and asked: “Y-you can’t do that, can you?”
I answered him with an order. “Look at these bottles on your table.”
When he turned his head around, I used an illusion spell to set all the holes on my mask on fire.
“Now look at me again.”
At the moment he saw the flames bursting out of my face, the drunkard screamed and jumped back, protecting his head with a hoof.
I then declared solemnly: “Do I look like I’m joking?”
Scratching his head, he muttered “I guess not”, before walking back to his table in shame. As for the other ponies in the room, who observed the whole scene... When I set my eyes on them, they suddenly started speaking again as if they never saw anything,
Louis looked at me as if I was Satan. [“Damn, could you turn that fire off? It’s creepy. How do you even do that?”]
Once again, I whispered. [“It’s just an illusion. And, well, magic. You know.”]
The fire disappeared when I concentrated on the idea of cancelling it.
Incredulous, Louis kept looking at me with an eyebrow higher than the other. We spent a few minutes like this, until the bar owner finally came back with our meal: a vegetarian stew made of the local traditional pseudo-meat baked with beans, carrots and potatoes. As a pony, I probably enjoyed it more than I would have if I had my human body; but it was good nonetheless.
Besides me, Louis had a hard time using the fork with his hoof. He wasn’t quite used to manipulate his outline. But he did manage to eat his meal, somehow.
Afterwards, came two slices of fruit-flavored cake. The local baker was good, there was no denying it.
While we enjoyed the cake, I heard a metallic screech outside. It became louder and louder, and I wondered what happened out there. I understood what it was when I heard it moving. Quickly, I exited the restaurant and left Louis there with the rest of his cake, motioning him to stay there.
My sprint through the town was useless. The train was already speeding away in the distance when I reached the docks.
“Damn, these motherfuckers left us when they saw we weren’t in the train. How am I even going to catch up with them? And- oh, damn, they have the bike. I must find a way to get to that train!”
The colt sitting in the ticket booth nearby almost passed through his chair when he saw the giant black stallion running towards him, but unfortunately for him, he did not have the power of intangibility.
Upon reaching the tiny window in the front of his booth, I asked him immediately: “When is the next train for Canterlot?”
Stuttering madly, the employee managed to say: “T-t-t-t-two days.”
“Damn. I can’t wait for two days. What else can I- Oh hey, I know what I can do. Time to jump through dimensions. I’ll need more mana.”
Refusing to wait one more second, I disappeared in the middle of the streets. The bystanders saw me disappear in the cloud of smoke that surrounded me, without seeing me reappearing on the other side of the veil. Their confusion was amusing, but I had no time to look at them being baffled.
Once again, I felt my body as human. It was a little disorienting to be able to move these ethereal fingers again, but much less than when I first got my pony body. Thus, I could rush to the restaurant without too much problems.
Inside, Louis was waiting behind his table, when my voice suddenly resounded in near his hear. [“Get out of here! The train went away without us. These idiots took the bike!”]
He jumped off of his chair in surprise. [“What? Why! We paid our tickets and they weren’t supposed to go for ten more minutes! And where are you?”]
The people in the bar looked at him as if he was crazy, but he didn't even notice them.
My disembodied voice explained: [“We’ll see that with them. In the meantime, go back to the docks. I’m back to my ghost form. I’ll need a lot of magic to do what I want to do.”]
Yelling “Thank you good bye!” with the best English I’ve heard from him so far, Louis exited the restaurant as fast as he could and ran back through the streets.
Five minutes later, he was near the railway, about as sweating and panting as if he just ran a marathon.
[“Now sit back and watch, Louis.”]
After a quick nod, my brother simply stood there for a few seconds, in the middle of the train station. Shortly after, a cloud of smoke emerged from the ground and a roaring noise could be heard. It grew bigger before a wheel came out.
Slowly, the black motorcycle I remembered had appeared in front of an astonished crowd. Using the summoning spell while thinking about the dimension where I wanted it to go was enough to actually make it go there. Magic never ceased to amaze me.
[“Quick, jump on the backseat and grab the handles. I’ll worry about the driving,”] I declared, already sitting on the bike in the Soul Dimension.
Louis, quite unsure about all this, still did what I told him and sat on the back of the motorcycle, while several people gathered around the strange vehicle that appeared. However, when I started the engine, that crowd scattered faster than a group of pigeons facing a tiger.
After taking speed on the long stone docks, I jumped off of them and onto the gravel surrounding the train tracks. That stunt made my brother ask me with a trembling voice: [“Hey, you know how to drive that, right?”]
I replied with a laugh: [“Trust me, I drive better than you.”]
But that laugh quickly died down as I remembered what was inside the train we were chasing: the remedies to Louis’ curse. We were racing against the clock. If Louis didn’t have another poultice applied to his leg before the end of the third day after he removed the previous one, his leg would start getting petrified again. And it would be extremely fast. I didn’t want to lose so soon.
Boosted by the idea of failure, I fully turned the throttle. The exhausts spat fire, and we reached speeds that could have justified an instantaneous removal of my driving license on Earth.
Luckily, we weren’t on Earth, and dead people don’t need driving licenses.
Chapter 11 - King of Fools
CHAPTER 11 – King of Fools
Date: 24th of August, Second Year of the Game. Location: Train tracks between Trottingham and Ponyville.
Along the charred iron bars that pierced the land, thousands of tiny pieces of coal and gravel vibrated in unison under the shadow of sunflowers. Their slight movement became stronger and stronger until finally, the train passed by and went away, its hulking metallic carcass almost falling off the tracks as it sped past a tight turn.
Shortly after, the little rocks died away and melted under the unnatural fire spread around by the train’s pursuer. Each of its dozens of exhausts was spitting more fire than industrial-sized blowtorches, but they weren’t the only thing on fire. Two red circles of flame surrounded the machine’s wheels as it accelerated towards the train.
Its sole visible occupant started to panic. [“Hey, is that fire normal? It’s starting to get hot here!”]
[“I don’t know,”] answered my disembodied voice.
Cursing silently, the pony retorted: [“You said you knew how to drive!”]
[“I never said I knew how to drive this vehicle in particular. But I have to admit, Mercury seems to like Marvel comics a little too much. Who knew gods would enjoy that kind of things?”]
[“Not me! Now get me out of here, I don’t want to get roasted like some kind of rabbit!”]
As he yelled in the wind, Louis grabbed the bike’s rear handles even harder and removed his legs from the pedals.
The gap between the old-fashioned train and Mercury’s magical speeding bullet was getting smaller by the second.
Seeing as I was going much faster than needed, I released the throttle a bit and went back to acceptable speeds. Catching up with the train wasn’t enough. I also had to be stable enough to allow Louis to jump on a train car, and that required the bike to have the same speed as the train.
Concentrating on finding a place for Louis to go, I spied on the train and its wagons. Each one of them had little stairs on the side when the train was in the station, but all these stairs had been folded back inside the wagons after the train’s departure. That made everything much more complicated. The only two viable places I saw were, on one hand, the tiny ladder on the locomotive, but it was too small; and on the other hand, the bridges between the train cars, but they required Louis to jump. And if he failed, I would be responsible for the death of my brother. That was out of question. But then, it struck me that the train didn’t need to be moving.
[“Don’t move. And don’t be scared.”]
Turning his head around instinctively, my brother asked: [“Of what?”]
[“This.”]
The entire train was suddenly plunged into darkness. The passengers and drivers didn’t have to wait before understanding why the sun disappeared. Immediately after the shadow appeared, extremely loud wing flaps could be heard. Less than a minute later, an ear-shattering scream that only Japanese city-destroying monsters could emit was heard for the first time by everyone in the train.
The shadow disappeared shortly after, and a terrifying crash was heard next. A colossal dragon the size of a mountain sat in the middle of the train tracks, its maw opened wide in front of the incoming vehicle. The black scales around his mouth looked sturdier than diamond and as big as tower shields, yet they were the smallest ones he had.
Not quite liking the idea of being eaten alive, the drivers immediately slowed down the train as fast as they could. Immediately after they understood what was in front of them, everyone in the train was shouting: “Dragon! Dragon! Get out!” But there was no way to escape such a beast. When the dragon inhaled, the subsequent gust of wind could be felt by all of the train’s passengers, who even feared during a second that their monarch herself wouldn’t be up to the fight.
Screeching, the train’s iron wheels projected thousands of sparks in all directions, their light competing with that of the bike nearby. However, the bike in question did not stop and, instead of trying to flee, outdistanced the braking train. A minute later, Louis, sitting on the back of the bike, finally let his hooves touch the ground again after the engine was shut off.
As soon as the train was entirely immobile, the dragon let out a deafening screech and disappeared in the sky, its mighty shadow getting smaller by the second.
While the train drivers were busy trying to see where the beast went, Louis climbed up in the locomotive thanks to the tiny ladder on its side.
He was welcomed with an accusation. “You? Now? I… This was your fault!” screamed the chief driver.
But, to the driver’s surprise, it was not Louis who answered. He kept his mouth shut and instead, the echoing voice feared by the crew simply declared: “No. It was me. You have something that belongs to me in the last wagon, and I need it. Do not try anything like that again if you want to keep your job. Understand this: I am on my way to Canterlot, and I will have a talk with Celestia, an old friend of mine.”
Their faces already were contorted in terror at that point, but the voice kept talking. “If you try abandoning us once more, not only will you lose your job when I tell her about what you did, but you will also probably lose some parts of your body, if I’m angry enough to call my dragon friend Deathwing back. I wouldn’t like to do that but I can. Is that clear?”
None of the drivers could say anything. They simply nodded, sweating in fear, their hearts beating even faster than those of the passengers.
“Good.”
The voice then said something they did not understand: [“Go back to the last wagon.”]
[“Meh. Okay. I’ll stay there. I don’t want to see any of these idiots.”]
It was the last time that the crew heard about the two weird strangers.
When we reached the last wagon, Louis asked me: [“What the hell was that dragon? Was it an illusion too?”]
[“That’s how I work, indeed.”]
[“Heh. That was great!”]
[“And you haven’t seen the best yet. Magic is awesome.”]
Date: 27th of August, Second Year of the Game. Location: Canterlot.
Finally, after a short pause in Ponyville, we reached Canterlot. During the travel between those two cities, I spent my time transmitting to Louis my knowledge of the world we were in and of the show’s history. He was a little confused, but I managed to make him understand most of what happened so far and what was going to happen.
During the rest of the time, we practiced speaking English. I wanted him to polish his accent and syntax before we reached Canterlot. We didn’t have a lot of time, but at least he would try to get better.
When he felt the train slowing down, Louis asked me: [“It seems that we are approaching the terminus. What are we going to do there?”]
[“You’re going to meet the queens. Or, uh, rather, princesses.”]
Suddenly, he looked much less enthusiastic about going to that town. [“H-how is that going to help us? And how would I even get to them? There’s going to be guards and all that, right?”]
Sighing, I explained : [“We need to meet them because I’ll try to gain their favor. That’ll allow us to have your bike repaired quickly, and they might even let us fly to Gallopoli with a military zeppelin. It’s the closest city to the Black Marsh, and that would allow us to avoid an overly long train travel. As for the way we are going to get past the guards and earn an immediate audience, I have an idea already. For this, I’ll need to cast a few spells on you. Wait a few seconds, and… Done.”]
Dubious, my brother asked: [“I didn’t feel anything. What did you even do?”]
[“It’s easy… I have a plan. Here’s what you’re going to do when we reach the guards.”]
An hour later, a certain yellow and extremely tall pony was in front of Canterlot Castle’s inner gates.
The two stoic guards didn’t even react when they saw him enter the castle’s yard with a huge sled behind him; but they jumped in front of the gate when he came closer. One of them raised a hoof and laconically stated: “Halt, citizen. The Queen currently is in an audience. State your name and appointment number.”
The inquiry’s target answered, with a smirk: “Citizen? Oh, no. I’m no citizen. I’m a cousin! My name is Louis. Louis the fourteenth, called the Sun King by many, King of the land of Prance and descendant of the great alicorn Ignistus.”
Both of the guards’ faces remained stone-cold for a few seconds before one of them laughed silently. The other, displaying disdain, gauged Louis before declaring: “You don’t look like royalty to me. And I’m sorry but I don’t think Prance has a king.”
Feigning disappointment, my brother declared: “It’s really a shame that Celestia didn’t teach Prance’s history to her subjects. Prance is on the other side of the planet, though. I guess not everyone can know about it…”
Suddenly smiling, Louis added: “As for my appearance, it is because I prefer travelling incognito. I know I should have sent a message earlier, but, well… Announcing what I look like isn’t exactly practical if I want to remain unseen, since news travel faster than me.”
Right after he finished talking, he levitated slightly and a bright flash of light blinded the guards for a second. When they could see again, it was not a regular pony that stood in front of them, but a gloriously regal unicorn with an overly long and sharp horn, wearing a majestic blue and white cape covered in golden heraldic lilies. His mane, instead of being the tame brown it was before, now stood out as a magnificent multicolored flame flowing in the air.
Back on the ground, he finally declared playfully: “May I enter now?”
The second guard’s eyes widened as he answered: “Please go on, y-your majesty.”
“Very well. Could you please announce my venue?”
The guard quickly did a military salute, yelled “Immediately, my lord!” and bolted through the door. Calmly, Louis took the sled’s rope in his mouth and dragged it inside, smiling at the stunned guard.
When the door closed behind him and no one was left near him, he dropped the rope and quickly asked: [“How was I?”]
[“You’re doing great. And remember: don’t freak out when in front of Celestia or Luna. The worst thing they would do is to try to hug us.”]
Looking at the ground, my brother weakly laughed. [“Heh. Okay… But what would happen if they refused to let me use the zeppelins? I don’t want to die…”]
[“It’ll only last- oh, here they come. Remember: Gallopoli.”]
[“Yeah, right.”]
The door opened suddenly, two ominous figures standing in the doorway. Unfortunately for him, it was the taller one who spoke first.
“Greetings, distant kindred! It is I, Luna Everfree, who hast ye privilege to lead thou over yonder!”
Pushed back by the sound wave, her so-called acquaintance hit the sled and fell on the ground. Luna brought her hoof on her mouth and whispered in shock: “I may have overdone it.”
“Ouch. Well, I have to say, I wasn’t expecting such an enthusiastic welcome,” Louis said, scratching the back of his head. “As for me, you already know who I am, if your armored friend here did his job well.” Glancing at the sweating soldier for a second, he then looked straight in the eyes of Luna, smiled, and declared: “Anyhow, I’m delighted to meet you, my lady,” before bowing slightly to grab her hoof and gently kiss it.
Putting the flustered princess’s hoof on the ground, he said: “Although the ancient ways of speaking aren’t something I would use myself, it certainly is nice to see that the olden manners have been preserved to some extent in Equestria.”
Finally, Luna managed to answer him. “I am absolutely delighted to meet you as well, and I am sure that my sister will be too.”
“Princess Celestia, is it? The ‘main’ ruler of Equestria, if one could say so?”
“Yes. Absolutely.”
My brother pointed at the fire on his head. “Does she also tend to set things on fire with this?”
Luna gleefully answered: “Oh, no, her mane isn’t nearly as dangerous as yours, haha!”
Noticing that she didn’t mention the sled, the princess asked: “Pray tell, what is that package over there?”
“Oh, that? It’s my personal vehicle. Unfortunately, it’s been broken, I need to find someone who can repair it.”
“Oh, I’m sure we will find someone. Canterlot has some of the best engineers there are in Equestria.”
“Really? Very well! But be aware, this is a one-of-a-kind machine. Your engineers will have to work on it for a while before being able to repair it. I call it a ‘motorcycle’.”
“A ‘mo-tor-cy-cle’? I’m sure Celestia will be interested. We should go to the throne room, though. She’s waiting for us.” Looking at the soldier, she said: “Captain, please get your subordinate to help you drag the King’s sled into a storage room.”
The soldier finally breathed, yelled “Yes, princess Luna!” and bolted through the room.
Meanwhile, Louis and the princess opened the door leading to the throne room and walked into the corridor.
While walking, Luna, worried, asked: “Tell me, King Louis… Why didn’t you ever send us a message? Pardon me if I’m too curious, but we thought we were the last of our species for more than a thousand years! I can’t even find the words to tell you how happy I am, but this truly is mind-boggling… Weren’t you a little lonely?”
“Ahh… Unfortunately for you, I think you are mistaken. I am not an Alicorn, merely the descendant of one who died long ago now. I may look like one, but really, I am not nearly as powerful as any of you… Hm, this is the door to the throne room, I guess?”
Luna nodded and used magic to simultaneously open both doors. “Hear, sister! Welcome our valued guest, Louis the fourteenth, King of Prance!”
Dismissing the peasant talking to her with a smile, Celestia ogled straight into Louis’ eyes and walked down the stairs in front of her throne. “Greetings, Sir Louis. Please make yourself at home.”
Suddenly regretful, she added: “I knew that a kingdom called Prance existed somewhere in this world, thanks to petty rumors brought here by merchants; but never did they mention that it was ruled by an Alicorn king. And, because of my involvement in my own regal duties, I never took the time to find out more about this country. I know I should have. But, you know, it has been several hundred years since I saw another Alicorn... I was so desperate that I lost all hope of finding one. Yet, here you are... A stallion, moreover. Please accept my deepest apologies for not finding you sooner, my liege.”
She then bowed in front of him, as if she was waiting for something, while Luna went and sat near her.
“Damn, damn, damn, what is she doing! That wasn’t part of the plan! Wait… Is it because of this that she’s calling herself a princess? I’m going to make him ask her. This is too weird.”
A voice only Louis could hear resounded in the room. [“Okay, tell her this.”]
Louis, after waiting desperately for a few seconds in front of the prostrated Celestia, regained his composure and stated: “I was sure something like this would happen. Please, Princess Celestia, I beg of you, stand up. Not only am I not worthy of such attention; but I highly doubt that these traditions are anything today’s people would respect. ”
Before the surprised Luna could say anything, he told her: “And no, I am not talking about the royal voice here, but about much, much older traditions. I am talking about traditions that apparently date back to the First Era, if my hypotheses are correct. Because I believe that mares deserve as much respect as stallions do. No more, no less. And judging by your behaviour, this wasn't the case when Alicorns still were numerous.”
Seeing as Celestia still wasn’t moving, I told Louis to grab her hoof and lift it.
A few seconds later, the Sun Princess was sitting on the ground in front of Louis, amazed and bewildered at the same time. “Please, excuse me for asking such a question, but why would you not know about the old ways of Alicorns? I mean, your hypothesis is correct, but I don't understand...”
“Sister, I-“
Luna was abruptly cut off by Louis who simply stated: “Because I am not an Alicorn.”
Celestia glanced at his mane, unable to think coherently. “But- this. I- you-“
Wordless, Louis unbuttoned his cape and let it fall on the ground. “See? No wings.”
“How can you even…”
“I am what happens when an Alicorn falls in love with a normal pony and has children with her. I am, as one might say, a hybrid. This is also why they call me ‘the fourteenth’. Because there has been an extremely long list of ancestors of mine who were kings too. Simply put, I am as mortal as any of your subjects. All this, because my ancestor didn't wait for another Alicorn to find love.”
“But- How could your family preside over an entire country without being immortal? What happens when one of you dies?”
“Well actually, we innovated, and our subjects are mostly autonomous. We call it ‘democracy’. But we’ll talk about that later, Princess. For now, I would like to tell you about the reason why I am here.”
Intrigued, Celestia asked him: “As long as you promise me to tell me everything about you later, I think I can wait.”
“Then it is a promise: I will tell you everything, later. For now, I have a much more urgent problem than history.” Swiftly, he jumped and turned halfway, in order to let Celestia and Luna take a better look at his side.
Luna was the first to react. “Curses! What caused this?”
“I know, sister… I remember… One of my friends died to such a curse, long ago. It was during the ancient war… Tell me, Louis the fourteenth, where did you find a live basilisk?”
Luna’s eyes widened. “Celestia, are you sure? A basilisk, really?”
Louis answered her directly. “Yes, it was a basilisk. As for where I found it, let’s say that I’ve literally been to Tartarus and back.”
“I guess that I'll have to wait for that story… But we have a problem, if you came here for a remedy. Sadly, we have none. No one ever found one during the great wars, and nowadays basilisks aren’t exactly common,” said Celestia.
“Don’t worry about the remedy, Princess, I know of a holy shrine located deep in the Black Marsh that could heal it. I am short on time, though, and this is why I came to see you directly.”
“The Black Marsh is a dangerous place, and it’s not renowned for its magical shrines. What kind of holiness are you talking about?” Celestia asked.
“This shrine can heal anything, but it remains invisible to those whose soul isn’t pure. I know it is the only thing in the world that can heal this; and I am sure that it does not involve any sort of black magic, rest assured. Now, there is no time to lose, I’d like to hurry up. The disease is spreading every day, and I have to search for the shrine. This is why I came here: I need you to let me use one of your airships to get to Gallopoli quicker than with a train. Since my motorbike is broken, I can’t use it, even though it’d be the best way to go through a giant swamp.”
Celestia’s ear twitched. “Motorbike? What is it?”
“Oh, right, sorry. It’s my vehicle. Let’s talk about that later, though. Would you help me to reach the Black Marsh with one of your airships?”
Nodding, Celestia answered: “Absolutely. However, I would not let them lead you to Gallopoli, but to Den Dekza. It is a Diamond Dog den recently claimed by the Equestrian Army as a temporary outpost. Since it’s right in the middle of the Black Marsh and usable as an airport, your task will be considerably easier. Isn’t it?”
“I think it will. I can’t really properly express my gratitude for now, but thank you, Princess.”
“No need to thank me, King Louis. I can’t remain unfazed at the sight of one of my kin dying slowly, no matter the distance there is between us.”
Turning towards one of the soldiers on the far side of the room, she suddenly shouted: “Captain! What is the fastest ship currently stationed in Canterlot?”
The officer promptly answered: “The Green Lightning, Princess!”
“Fine! Then, summon all of its personnel! I want them all to be ready to go tomorrow, at dawn! Their target will be Den Dekza, and they will be bringing King Louis there! Is that clear?”
“Crystal clear, my lady!”
The pony darted through the door before Celestia could say “dismissed”.
“Now that this has been taken care of, would you mind relaxing for a while and telling me about that story of yours over a cup of tea?”
“Not at all.”
“Then let us go to the salon. Guards! Today, the audiences exceptionally end sooner. Please notify the people concerned and give them appointments for tomorrow.”
Grabbing his illusive cape, Louis followed the two mares into a corridor leading to the insides of the castle.
Five minutes later, they reached their destination. The “salon”, as they called it, probably was the coziest place of the entire castle. Several huge puffy pillows were neatly piled in a corner, bookcases covered all the walls, and a large ebony table sat in the middle of the room, its varnish reflecting the light almost as well as a mirror.
Celestia made a few pillows hover through the room and motioned Louis and Luna to sit. Coincidentally, a maid appeared, carrying a plate onto which were a steaming teapot and three porcelain cups. She gracefully levitated the plate to the table, bowed down and left silently.
“Very well. Now that we are here, Louis, please, tell me more about that ‘democracy’ you talked about earlier. The concept seems interesting,” said Celestia while pouring tea in the cups placed in front of Louis and Luna.
“Ah, democracy. It truly is beautiful, although it’s much harder to set up than a monarchy into which the ruler is immortal. Well, you see, its main principle is to let the people lead the country, by making laws, choosing the various political orientations taken, et cetera. Of course, you might say that you already have that here, but it’s not the case at all, because in Equestria, politics are still subjected to a caste system. There are the nobles, who can make laws, be judges, vote; and then there’s the rest of the people, who have no real rights. This is where democracy is different: everyone can be elected as a lawmaker, vote, or even be the ruler of the country. Or, almost everyone, I'd rather say. These rights are only given to citizens, and to people old enough to understand what they do. For now, this limit has been set to twenty years old. This means that everyone who is older than twenty and a citizen may be a part of the government, or even lead the country. These limits may seem unfair, but we can't let strangers or youngsters play with our political system...”
Celestia asked, between two sips: “That must be a nightmare to organize. How do you do it?”
“The elections, you mean? Oh, it’s quite complicated indeed, but we managed to find a viable system. Everyone who has the right to vote can choose between several candidates. They vote in their city. Voters write their choice on a paper and put the paper in a sealed envelope; and when everyone finished voting, governmental agents come in and count the number of votes for each candidate. Then all the agents go back to the capital with the numbers they have, and we calculate the amount of votes for each candidate. The one who gets more votes can be the ‘president’ for 7 years; and then we do it again. As for the laws and all that, the chambers are elected but all the chosen ones work in the same place, near the capital. You know, I think you should try something like this, someday. You seem pretty stressed by your duties. When was the last time you took some holidays?”
Closing her eyes for a moment, Celestia finally declared: “I don’t really know… Maybe I should try this ‘democracy’ of yours, indeed. Although I am not sure that my subjects would be able to accomplish such a task…”
Luna intervened. “Celly, do you really have so little faith in our people?”
“Oh, you know, I am sure that the people fundamentally can do this, but what about the situation they’re in? What about the nobles? They’ll constantly try to win their privileges back if I do such a thing… And I don’t want to fight them.”
“And that’s when a little bit of history can be useful. A long time ago, in a country far, far away, the common people wanted democracy so bad that they revolted against the King, and, ultimately, he was beheaded, as well as most of the nobles who opposed the people’s projects. Trust me, you don’t want that to happen. It is best to let the people choose their destiny as soon as possible. Because when they decide it is too late, there is no stopping them. So even if you have to fight the nobles, it is better than seeing them decapitated by angry mobs.”
Shocked, Luna said: “But that’s terrible! Why would they do that?”
“To be fair, the King was terrible at his job, and the life conditions were terrible. People were starving everywhere; the prices were going through the roof even for basic food; and the nobles used their privileges to exploit the common people.”
“Hmm. I see why they would do this, although war never is the path I prefer to take,” Celestia said.
After drinking some tea, Louis stated: “Maybe it is time for Equestria to change. Maybe not. I do not know. But you two have to keep this in mind: although benevolent monarchs aren’t a bad thing, you must teach your people how to lead themselves. If something happened to you as of now, they’d be lost, and Equestria would fall into chaos. With democracy, there’s a chance that they’d manage to maintain the kingdom in shape. If you don’t teach them that and then disappear, there’s going to be clan wars between the unicorns, pegasi and earth ponies again, just like in the old times. Do you want them to kill each other in the hopes of crowning their leader, or would you rather have them survive without changing their society too much?”
“Well, I must admit that this looks important when put this way. Maybe I should ask some scholars to do some research on the matter.”
“I concur,” said Luna between two sips.
Celestia’s eyes wandered through the window for a few seconds before she asked: “Oh and, I almost forgot. What was that vehicle of yours exactly?”
“My motorbike? Well, it’s a rather odd means of transportation for someone who’s used to run rather fast or use magic, but I can assure you that it can go faster than you and without any magic. In fact, my motorbike could go twice as fast as your trains when it still worked, and it isn’t even the most powerful of all bikes there are. Some of them can go up to five times the speeds of your trains, even though they require flat roads for such speeds.”
Celestia almost spat her tea. “Five times?! How is that even possible?”
“Well, I have to say, I can’t really be accurate on the matter because it’s very complicated, but essentially, we’ve found a very efficient liquid fuel that allows our engines to output an enormous amount of power. It’s much more efficient than coal or even standard magic gems, although it requires refining. The problem with that kind of engine, though, is that it is extremely capricious regarding fuel, so if you have the wrong kind of fuel, it doesn’t work at all.”
“It sounds interesting. And what can we do to repair this vehicle?”
“Actually, my problem is that someone ate the engine. So you won’t be able to let your engineers study it, sorry. The best thing I can hope for is a miniature version of the magic-powered engines you use on some airships, I guess.”
“Eaten, you say? Are these engines made of vegetables?” Celestia said, snickering a little.
“No… It was a pack of Diamond Dogs. When they kidnapped me, they thought it would be a good idea to eat my motorbike.”
Luna was on the edge of her seat. “Kidnapped, you say? How? Tell us! How did you get out?”
With stars in her eyes, the monarch looked more impatient than a kid waiting for a bedtime story.
“All right, all right, Luna, I’ll tell you everything. It happened after a mostly uninteresting travel, where I spent my time riding my bike near Equestria’s northern frontier. At some point, I reached the outskirts of the Changeling Wasteland, and I had an accident. I fell off of my bike and I lost consciousness. When I woke up…”
Date: 28th of August, Second Year of the Game. Location: Canterlot.
[“Wake up, Louis! Hey! It’s almost time to go! I know that yesterday’s ‘story time’ was long, but now you have to wake up!”]
[“Nghr.”]
My brother was as lazy here as I knew here on Earth. Unfortunately for him, I had magic.
[“Hey! No! Don’t fly away, blanket! Come on, Phantom, stop this!”]
[“Stop lazing around. The ship will be ready very soon.”]
[“Fine, just let me get ready… Oh, right. I have no clothes except for that fake cape. Meh. Let’s go, then.”]