Princesses Celestia and Twilight Sparkle walked together, side by side; their wings just barely touched as they left the throne room, their gaze occasionally directed at each other, making the briefest of glances - something that was not lost on their honor guards. Staying in near-touch, the two turned towards Celestia's bedchambers, a slight smile on their faces as they walked the long hallway. Occasionally, castle staff would pass them by, at which point they would pointedly avoid eye contact, to be made again after passing their potential witness. They finally made it to the base of Celestia's tower in the castle...

... at which point, being certain they were out of earshot, the two alicorns collapsed, bursting out in laughter.

"Oh, did you see the look on their faces?" Twilight chortled, wiping away a tear.

"It was priceless," Celestia agreed, hugging her sides to her. "Oh, they didn't expect a thing-"

Celestia sat up, and turned to Twilight. But unlike their spontaneously planned show, there seemed to be a genuine quiver to her lips, a certain nervousness.

Is she... is she blushing? But we agreed that we'd only do this to tease the castle staff...

You know, for a normal pony, blushing would indicate attraction.

But she's not a normal pony, however. Who's to say that that flushed tone to her cheeks means exactly the same as it would for a regular pony?

Nothing, really. But we can investigate, form a hypothesis, start an investigation...

What are you thinking, Twilight Sparkle? You can't do science on her! She's your teacher! Your friend!

That didn't stop you from studying Pinkie Pie.

...Okay, maybe I can do a little science.

Twilight did her level best to keep her tone respectful, yet casual and informal, hoping she could mask the slight stutter from her nervousness. "Princess... are you feeling all right?"

"Myself? Why... yes, Twilight, I am." Celestia turned to face Twilight, her voice returning to its more casual self. "I do thank you for playing along with my little idea."

"Playing along... yeah," Twilight said, smiling awkwardly. She felt her heart sink at those words, but she kept on a strong face and fixed Celestia with a sly little smile.

"You know, if we want to mock these rumors... we might have to do more than one brief walk through the castle."

"Oh?" Celestia's puzzled voice did not match her poker face. "What would you suggest we do?"

"I think we should keep at this 'play' for a while," Twilight said. She was improvising, but she had read enough romantic comedies to have an idea of what ideas to suggest. "Sit a little too close together in court, walk together in the halls, that sort of thing."

"Yes, quite," Celestia mused quietly.

"And to top it off," Twilight said, a slight waver to her voice, "I could come visit you in your bedchambers, conspicuously alone... ooh! Even better! Maybe I could pointedly ask the guards to grant the both of us privacy for the evening."

"Ah... yes. That is a wonderful plan," Celestia smiled, although she was facing away from Twilight. "So we might prolong our ruse. But-"

Twilight politely cleared her throat "Princess?" She smiled awkwardly, but pointed with a hoof. "Your wings are... extended."

The older princess quickly turned to face Twilight - then to look at her own wings, which had indeed stretched out. Celestia cleared her throat - the closest Twilight had ever seen Celestia come to make a surprised noise - and flapped once, having to fight some internal tension to bring them back to her sides.

"Thank you, Twilight - it would not do for a princess to be seen lingering in full display." Celestia chuckled. "Even if it would serve our purposes for our little ruse..."

"Yes." Twilight smiled softly. "Of course. Our ruse."

The conversation paused there - neither having words to say. Something in Celestia's stance changed, however, and before the older princess had a chance to say anything, Twilight blurted out, "Wait!"

"I'm right here, Twilight," Celestia said, as she eased herself back into the role of a mentor figure. "What troubles you?"

"There's... one part of this. Of all this. That I haven't quite got a hold on yet." Twilight's stammer was rising like her blush, and now it was her turn to hide it.

You can't just discuss this with her!

Why not? She's as forgiving and understanding as all my friends and family combined...

It's not what I'm about to ask - even though it kind of is. It's who I'm about to ask!

Celestia's worried voice intruded on Twilight's internal catatonia. "What troubles you?"

"I... I don't know how to deal with..."

Twilight cringed to feel Celestia's hoof raised to her back, but she relaxed a little.

"I... I don't know how to say this," Twilight said, shaking her head. "But... you know how sometimes you get your wings... stuck like that, extended, when you're excited or... interested in somepon-something?"

Celestia nodded silently. "That's only to be expected, Twilight," Celestia said, her hooves pulling Twilight gently to her. "After all, even at my age, it's inevitable; a mare your age shouldn't be surprised-"

"It has nothing to do with being a mare!" Twilight shouted, although she caught herself, squirming away as far as she could without actually leaving her teacher's hooves. "It's..." She hung her head, defeated. "It's not my wings I can't keep down."

Celestia blinked. "You mean, your-"

"-my newly-acquired masculine primary characteristics, yes," Twilight said, her head down. "I... I didn't think it would be that big of a deal! But now I can't even go an hour without something stirring or moving or-or-" Her blush became an ashamed smile- "Or slipping into open air."

"Ah." Celestia gave a slight nod, and turned away. "I can see how that would give rise to discomfort."

"Discomfort? Try fear!" Twilight rolled her eyes. "I can't even rise from my place in the throne room. Some cute stallion - or worse, some cute mare, that never used to happen - comes to us in court and bam, I'm stuck with my hips in tight and my body firmly pressing it down on myself. And what's worse, because every day I'm on the throne, I have-" Twilight quickly edited her sentence in midstream- "-to see certain ponies again. And it's hard to hide it."

"I see." Celestia's wing and hoof moved from around Twilight, but she made no effort to step away - and her voice and was just as gentle as ever. Just as regally composed.

"So... what do you do, Celestia? I mean... You always seem so composed. The idea that you could have a... that, is so unthinkable as to be rumor. You never have this problem." Twilight turned to her, trotting around so she met Celestia's glance. "Please, princess... you have to tell me your secret!"

"Ah. My secret." Celestia cleared her throat.

It's not what you're about to tell her. It's who.

She's no fool. She's canny. But she can be... led astray by research. It would be best for her if I just told her...

This line can never be crossed back. But... more than nostalgia, what reason do I have to hide from her the truth, plainly requested?

Celestia cleared her throat, and tossed her head, casually examining for any eavesdroppers. "I'm afraid it's not much of a secret at all, my dear Twilight. But I think to explain it best, I should discuss something of the male of our species..."

Twilight nodded, looking up to her teacher, like she had many times before. It was all Celestia had to not simply drop the subject.

"... the primary difference between the two mundane genders, of course, being their primary attributes. Each is wired to play a different, yet complementary, role in the process of reproduction-"

"I'm aware of that," Twilight said pithily. "Especially since now everything seems to compliment one part of me or another."

Celestia couldn't help but chuckle, but she continued. "True. Especially since your new masculine attributes will work on the masculine cycle. I take it you are familiar with gamete generation in both genders?"

Twilight rolled her eyes again, but nodded.

"From here, then, it bears mentioning that hormones are tied to their organs - to oversimplify a subject that doctoral papers can and have been written about," Celestia stated. "While the female organs work on a slow cycle, male organs work on a constant process - the difference between the orbit of a comet, and water building behind a dam."

"And what does that have to do with... well... the fact that it jumps around at the sight of just about anypony cute?"

"Twilight," Celestia said, a hint of something like irritation in her voice - she had hoped not to have to spell it out. "If the behaviors of our bodies are influenced by the hormones running rampant through them... then in order to no longer be ruled by them..."

"... you have to destroy the source?"

"I... was not referring to such extreme measures, my dear Twilight. Tell me... when was the last time you cleared your system?"

"Cleared my system?"

"Emptied your body of your... excess gametes."

"Ah... about three weeks ago," Twilight said, with a shamed face. "I woke up from a very vivid dream, and I had-had..."

"Twilight," Celestia said, her voice stern. "Are you telling me you never tend to your own needs?"

"No, I... wait." Twilight finally registered what she was being asked, and her wings spread outwards. "Are you asking me if I... hoof it?"

"... in short, yes. In my experience, it is better to satisfy urges such as those in a quiet, controlled environment... than to hope you can get through a day without it becoming uncontrollable."

"Wait a minute. Celestia do you... In quiet, controlled environments..."

Celestia's jaw dropped - for only a moment. "I... manage my needs," she admitted, in a quiet voice.

"Then maybe you can answer my next question," Twilight said, grumpily. Celestia gave a noncommittal noise of curiousity, which was all her student needed to continue:

"How in the world am I supposed to 'manage' it?"

She was fixed with an incredulous look. "Twilight - for a curious mare such as yourself, I thought you would have conducted these sorts of investigations on your own initiative-"

"And nothing works! I mean... I've tried magic, I've tried my hooves. I even tried a-a toy, after-" Twilight swallowed. "... anyways. I don't know what I'm doing wrong."

"And when you are... trying this... what are you thinking about?'"

"I... uhm. How much I want it to go away..."

Celestia shook her head. "That won't quite... perform the task. Visualization influences action. If you don't want it to work, then... well, it won't."

"So, what do you recommend?"

Celestia smiled wanly. "I think my answer might be one near and dear to your heart: Literature. There are quite a lot of stories, of many genres and moods, which can... greatly assist in visualization.." Her wings flapped once, and were pointedly and forcefully folded back against her sides. "Of course, in order to assist, I replace the protagonists with myself and... another."

"Replace?"

Celestia's nod was shallow. "I could never actually... approach someone. But with a story close at hoof, I can easily imagine..." Celestia sighed, and shook her head.

Silence reigned for a moment. But, though Twilight could feel the hurt radiating off of Celestia's sullen body language, she wrapped a wing about her mentor.

"Princess... is there somepony you like?"

"My crown keeps them away, and always will."

"That's... not quite what I meant. And it's not like you to answer a question other than what's asked. Unless..." Twilight drew her breath in sharply. "Princess...?"

Before the question could even be worded, she felt Celestia tense up. So Twilight took a moment to gather her breath, before continuing on.

"Celestia... I have a hypothesis. And you're going to help me test it. I'm pretty certain it's true, but... I have to know. I know it'll hurt, but..." Twilight sighed. "I think it'll help."

Celestia's head turned, puzzled. "What are you proposing, Twilight...?"

"I have a question. It's just a true-false question. You don't have to answer it right away." Twilight sighed. "And in return... I'll let you ask any personal, true-false question you want of me. No matter how ruinous. I'll let you decide how... how bad my question was. Then, after we have asked our questions..." She raised a hoof, and let it fall limply. "I'll tap my hoof three times... and on the third tap, we have to answer, truthfully."

There was nothing more than breathing, and their bodies leaning close to each other under Twilight's wings. Twilight wondered if she had stepped to far as the silence stretched out, overtaking the entire room. Finally, in a voice that bore none of her usual courtly grace and regal volume, Celestia whispered: "I agree to these terms, Twilight."

"Alright," Twilight said. She did her best to resist a nervous giggle; she was incredibly flustered, but laughing at her teacher and oldest friend in her moment of weakness would do nothing to calm either of them. "Then, my question for you, Princess, is... is the pony you imagine being with as you manage your needs present in this room right now."

Celestia swayed against Twilight... then, briefly nodded. "You would extract a high price from me. Very well; in return, Twilight, I have this question for you: Is the pony that stirs you day in and day out in court, the one that gives you such trouble managing yourself, similarly present here now."

"Well," Twilight laughed bitterly. "At least we're playing for identical stakes, it seems."

After a moment in which there was no response, Twilight stepped away - and, demonstratively, raised her hoof. "I'm going to tap to three."

Celestia had closed her eyes; there was no motion besides her mane, ever billowing, obscuring her face. "On your count, Twilight."

Twilight, in response, closed her eyes. It's entirely possible I just played this wrong. I think I know her answer. I'm positive I know her answer. But-I have to know the truth. Swallowing, her hoof struck the ground.

Celestia sighed. Of course she will say 'no'. A mare her age. A mare my age. Her freedoms, my restrictions. Her science, my traditions. I am the symbol of everything her life is not, everything she resents since her ascension - I am a crown in pony form. Twilight's hoof hit the ground again.

Both hesitated, hoping the other would blink. But there was no sudden burst of hooves; there was no sudden flapping of wings; only the sound of breath. The hoof fell a third time.

"Yes."

"Yes."

Author's Note

Welp, this wasn't finished yet. But I accidentally hit publish.

And it'll screw up everyone's notifications unless they can actually mark the chapter as read.

So.