Promethea: Ponified

Promethea

The Temple wants her DEAD...
They've put out the hit from HELL!

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Chapter 2

A new champion arises,
A demonic threat is dispatched,
A deadly battle is joined.

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"Baby... *koff* I know just how this feels."

She'd given up the rhyme, her spirit as exhausted as her body. She only held tightly to Promethea as the godly mare flew through the city.

"What's in your head right now, everything, every moment's like stained glass. It's... *koff* It's all right now, and full of this heroic fire as if all of existence was alight, and... *koff koff* Oh, god damn...and all the stars are... *koff koff koff*"

Zecora went into a fit of coughing, and Promethea looked down at the dying zebra. She shifted her grip on Zecora, and Spike gripped tightly into her robe. He was desperately trying to keep from falling down into the streets of Ponyville below, and hoped that they would reach a hospital soon.

The people looked up, and saw a glimmering form shooting across the sky. Many ponies dropped what they were carrying and stared up at the shining figure, and felt as though they knew what it was, who it was, and they stared and gaped and gazed until the star was gone.

Promethea looked down at the zebra, and said, "Don't try to talk, Zecora. You're hurt. I'm going to get you to a hospital. But you're right about how we feel." She spoke as if there were two people in her, and it was true.

"We... I feel full of something. It's... meaning. I feel full of meaning."

The Five Swell Colts looked up and saw a shooting star, except it wasn't a star, it was a mare, and she was flying without wings. And Applejack thought of her placement as the female of the group, and felt angry. And Cranky thought that he'd seen her before, hadn't he? And Flim looked up and thought well isn't that swell! A flying unicorn! Pretty good magic! And his brother thought the same. And Soarin looked up and thought he saw his mother, but dismissed it as fantasy. They looked up, and saw a star.

"Yeah. *koff koff* Yeah, I know." Zecora pressed into Promethea, shutting her eyes. "But it's confusing, right? Inside you, it's like... *koff koff koff* I-it's like there's two of you, but somehow there's only one? There's.... *koff* There's Rarity, but there's somebody else too, and she... *koff koff koff* Oh, Jesus... And she might not recognize a modern hos... *koff* hospital."

Rainbow Dash looked up at the glow, and sipped her drink. The sound of the music added an effect to the glow that made her shiver. Crazy special effects, dude. She felt as though the glow was something she knew, and she squinted at it. A purple shape revealed itself for only a moment, and Rainbow Dash jumped back at bit.

"Spike...?"

The city unfolded before them, and Promethea smiled. "Don't worry. Some symbols always mean the same thing..."

The hospital rose up out of the glow of the city. Spike sighed with relief, glad that he wouldn't have to hold on for much longer. They approached, and he saw nurses and doctors grow wide-eyed and stop what they were doing. As they approached, he heard them mutter to each other.

"Oh my Celestia, look at that..."

"She'd flying. Without wings. Wow."

"Are those snakes moving?"

"KYRE ÆSCLEPIUS! Hail the God of Healing!" The voice that came from Rarity's throat, or what had been Rarity's throat, sounded somewhere in between her own and Zecora's. It was strong, vibrant, and above all, intimidating. She landed on one of the platforms that was used for airship landings, and said, "This mare is hurt."

The nurses stared at her for a moment, unsure if she was real or not. The idea that a god-like mare had just flown (without wings) into the hospital with a dragon wrapped around her waist was not something they imagined was possible. Then they saw Zecora.

One of the nurses turned to the receptionist at the nearby desk. "Come on, get a C.A.R.E. Pod up here."

When the pod-like contraption had arrived, Promethea held Zecora's unscathed arm tightly and helped her towards it. She spoke to the nurses as she went: "She has been wounded by an unclean thing. Her injuries may be infected."

Zecora was still trying to hold a conversation with her, and Promethea heard her say, "Listen...*koff* Whoever sent that Smee that got me...*koff* they're gonna send other stuff. Especially..." She went into a fit of coughing, and the nurse near the Pod took her hoof. "I-if you could place her in the Pod..."

Promethea obliged, and the nurse began to lower the bay door on the C.A.R.E. Pod. Before she did, though, Zecora reached a hoof out to Promethea, ignoring the nurse's protests.

"...especially now! Especially now, while you're still dazzled by it all. There’s...*koff koff* There's worse...*koff*"

The nurse took the opportunity to shut the Pod when Zecora went to cover her mouth. The zebra leaned against the viewing window of the Pod, and as it drifted upward along a rail system Promethea heard her say:

"There's worse things than Smees. *koff*"

-----------

"You could have made the friggin' triangle bigger. That's all I'm saying."

The two colts stood in the center of the large room. One looked down at the triangle etched into the floor, and scowled at the eye in the center. The one who had spoken was staring at the desk in front of the two, and he observed the burning incenses that surrounded it. His attention focused on the old colt in the large chair that sat on the other side of the desk. The colt looked annoyed, and he raised a hoof in warning.

"Shut up. I'm Benneigh Solomon. I run you people. You do what I say and I find you work, okay?" He lowered his hoof, and leaned back in the chair. "So let's get acquainted. Tell me your names, your ambitions..." His wrinkled face wavered in the smoke of the incense. "That kinda thing."

The colt in the center of the room with a tie shrugged, and said, "My name's Marchosias. Used t'be a Dominion, y'know? In twelve hundred years, I hope to return to the Seventh Throne." The one in sunglasses spoke, the scowl he'd given the eye on the floor still showing on his face.

"My name's Andras, and there's thirty posses backin' me up, sucker." He stepped forward, to the edge of the triangle they were in, and said, "So, what's this job?"

Solomon leaned back in his seat, and opened a drawer in it. He pulled out a cigar, and shut the drawer behind him. Pulling out his lighter, he spoke as he lit it. "Well, sometimes I do contract work for this outfit, the Temple. They just fumbled a hit in Ponyville..." He struggled with the lighter. "They used a Smee..." The flame went out, and he cursed under his breath. "And now they want me to fix it."

The colts laughed. The one in sunglasses said, "A Smee, huh?" He looked to the other one, and he smirked and replied, "Classy."

Solomon took a long drag on the cigar, having finally gotten it to light. "Yeah, ain't it?" He puffed the smoke out his nostrils. "The hit's tricky: Some kinda recurring walk-in from the other side. Her name's Promethea." He looked up at the two colts, searching for any sign of recognition. He saw none.

Andras said, "Means nothing to me. You want we should whack just her, or the host body as well?"

Solomon took another drag on his cigar. "The host's a young mare. She's got a handler too. Yeah, kill her and the handler, and completely annihilate the walk-in. Not even fairy dust left, okay?"

Marchosias nodded. "I think we're on the same page, Mr. Solomon."

Andras raised both hoofs in an approving gesture. "Ponyville? Hey, we're already there!"

Solomon shut his eyes and puffed on the cigar. "Good," he said, and turned to the colt standing just behind him. "Well, Ernie, that went rather well, don't you think?"

The colt looked over his sunglasses at the empty room, which his boss had been talking to for the last five minutes. "Uh, yeah. Yeah, sure, Mr. Solomon. But, um, I was kinda wondering..." He walked around to the triangle, which had turned black in the time it had taken him to get to it.

"...who you were, uh, you know. Who you were talking to."

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This is TEXTure™. Digital Update: Ponyville tonight.

Promethea and Spike dropped from the hospital floor down to the street. Spike's eyes were screwed shut, and he hoped he could find some better way to hold onto her. The ground approached, and Promethea lightly touched down on the cold sidewalk. Spike let go of her, and they began to walk, to where, neither of them knew. Overhead, they heard the sounds of the 24/7 digital newscast that dominated Ponyville's airwaves. Looking at a nearby holo-screen, Spike saw flashes of video clips from tonight's top stories.

News just in of a FIREFIGHT on 5th Avenue between PV's premier science-heroes THE FIVE SWELL COLTS and celebrity omnipath THE PAINTED DOLL....
Early reports suggest that FLAM has been wounded. Also, APPLEJACK and CRANKY are apparently no longer SPEAKING to each other.

The screen flashed to a band performing, and Spike almost stopped to watch, continuing on only to follow the deity he'd brought to the world as she made her way along the street.

Weatherwise, expect these showers to continue throughout the night. PATHOGEN levels are tolerable to good.

This is TEXTure™.

ENTERTAINMENT: Tonight's hottest spot is TROTSKY'S on St. Mark's Place, where Whinnglish Invalid-Rock sensations THE LIMP conclude their Ponyvillian tour.
If you're under twenty, chances are you're either THERE or KNOW somepony who is!
The Limp's ironically non-ironic lead singer MONTELIMAR SKYES recently caused controversy by describing new LIMP album "FIST & SHOUT" as "More beautiful than Celestia."

Promethea turned at the corner, and found what she was looking for. She walked over to the telephone booth, Caduceus in hand, and Spike followed her, pulling out his wallet to pay for the phone call he was sure she was going to make.

In other news, less than a year in office and Ponyville's first Multiple-Personality-Disorder MAYOR is already mired in SEX SCANDALS...
...Mayor SONNY BASKERVILLE is currently stalling any investigation by demanding separate hearings for each of his forty-two personalities.

This is TEXTure™. Digital Update: Ponyville tonight.

Spike drew out a bit to pay for the phone, and promptly dropped it in surprise as the snakes adorning the Caduceus suddenly drove their heads into the telephone booth. A large discharge of electricity struck the booth, and it began to vibrate wildly, jolting as the blue energy passed through its circuits. Spike stared in awe at her abilities, and after a minute he bent down and picked up the dropped bit.

On the restaurant front, everyone is talking about chic new Celestial Park hangout BORGIA'S. In an old-fashioned atmosphere, diners enjoy a sumptuous five courses, plus antidote...

Promethea picked up the phone and, in a voice more like Rarity's than the one Spike had heard before, spoke into it.

"Hello?"

----------

♪♫SHE MADE ME FEEL A TOTAL FAILURE, HER BOYFRIEND STEPPED ON MY INHALER... UH-HUH.♫♪

Rainbow Dash covered her ear with a hoof as she tried to hear the voice on the other side of her cell phone. Staring up at the stage before her, where The Limp was expertly failing to keep her interested, she listened to the voice on the other line. It sounded familiar, but she was not sure if she knew who it was.

"Yeah, what? Yeah, this is she. Who's...?" Her eyes widened as the caller told Dash their name.

"It is not! Rarity? Well, what are you doing that voice for?" She turned away from The Limp, and nopony noticed or cared. They were all focused on the skinny, tall unicorn stallion that was shouting into the microphone floating in front of him (though many of the colts in the crowd were focused on the mare playing bass off to the right, standing on her hind legs and wearing nothing save several strips of duct tape covering her breasts and womanhood").

♪AND WITH I TRIED MY HEART TO POUR OUT SHE HIT ME AND IT PUT MY JAW OUT.♪♫

♫♫I SAID "OW".♪♪♫

"What do you mean "something's happened"?" Rainbow Dash began to walk away from the stage, squeezing the blaring music out of her ears. "Can you get over here? Where are you?"

♪♫♫♪AND ON THOSE LONELY ADOLESCENT NIGHTS I'D WEEP INTO A PAIR OF STOLEN TIGHTS...♪♫♪♫

"A phone booth near the hospital? Rarity, that's miles away!" She made her way to the back of the concert hall, and leaned against the exit door, already knowing where she was headed. "Well, yeah, I can meet you out back, but you'll take forever!"

♫♪♫♫MY ONLY COMFORTS IN THOSE TORTURED HOURS WERE FROM TOWELS I'D BORROWED FROM THE LADIES SHOWERS...♪♫♫♪

Rainbow Dash opened the door and stepped outside, thankful for a break from the ear-busting music she'd been listening to. The door shut behind her, and she removed her hoof from her ear, now able to properly hear the voice coming from her cell phone. She listened to Rarity's rant, and after several seconds of silence she said, "Yeah, okay, I'll be outside. But only because this band sucks worse than gravity. They..." She paused, and looked at her cell phone. The call was still on, but the sound of Rarity's voice was no longer present.

"Rarity? Rarity, don't hang up! Don't..."

The line went dead. Rainbow Dash angrily snapped her phone shut and slipped it in her compound-saddlebag. "Damn! What a bitch!" The pegasus leaned against the exit door, looking down at its handle-less surface. She turned, and stared down the back alley angrily.

"Well, if she thinks I'm waiting out here longer than ten minutes, she can kiss my flank! Who does she think she..."

There was a blue glow, and suddenly a pair of snakes were staring Rainbow Dash in the face.

"...yeep?"

Rainbow Dash turned and unfurled her wings, ready to blast into the sky.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAA! It's She-Ra! Holy Luna! Save me from She-Ra! I'm..." She was silenced by a pair of purple claws as they wrapped around her mouth and pulled her backwards.

Promethea walked around to the terrified Rainbow Dash, and she said quietly, "Rainbow Dash, be quiet. I'm..." She paused, as if unsure whether she should continue. "I'm Rarity. In a way. Something's happened to me." She turned away and shook her head, and Dash heard a familiar voice whisper in her ear.

"Dash, its Spike. I can vouch for her. I made her this way. Now, when I take my hand away, please don't make any noise. Do you understand?" She looked down, and recognized the hands holding her mouth shut. She nodded, and let out a muffled, "Mm-mmk."

Spike sighed with relief. "Good." He released Rainbow Dash, and the pegasus turned and punched the dragon in the arm. "Ow!" He rubbed his arm and looked at her, annoyed. The mare smirked and said, "That's for making me think I was about to be raped." She turned to Promethea, who was watching them with a mixed look on her face. Dash backed up into the wall of the alley, still shocked by the deity's appearance.

Promethea spoke up, acting like she'd already been having a conversation before Dash saw her. "Now, I can't explain this. You'll have to trust me. I've fused, somehow, with... I don't know. Some sort of living story." She stepped towards Dash, who was still staring at her in shock. "I've become the character Spike was writing his term paper on." She turned, and covered her face with a hoof. "I'm Promethea."

Dash looked to Spike for confirmation that Promthea's story was true, and when he nodded she turned back to the fairy-like mare. "A-and this is a problem how, exactly?" she said, and her composure returned. She began to joke, smiling cockily. "I mean, you've finally got the curves you've always complained about not having, and you're all special effects and everything. It's like you're living in a fairy tale!"

Promethea laughed. "Yes..." She turned to Dash, a solemn look on her face. "...but I don't know how to shut the storybook. Not before I get to the part with the wolf."

----------

The reflection in the glass of the phone booth was not of a colt, but Marchosias did not care. He examined the damaged machine, and he hissed in pain when his foot touched the glass. He watched the blue stars that had appeared fall, and mumbled, "Hrrrmn. Well, she's definitely been here."

Andras's voice sounded behind him. "Yeah, no problem. We'll find her. Needs be, I'll wring the air until it bleeds information." The shade-wearing colt was looking up at a TEXTure™ screen, watching The Limp flash on the screen. He checked the time, and shouted back to his partner, "Hey, you know it's 1999? Hell, that makes it nearly, twenty, thirty years since anyone called us!"

Marchosias nodded in agreement. "Uh-huh. I like how things look now. It's nice." He looked over to Andras and the TEXTure™ screen, and listened as the news story was announced over the city.

...TROTSKY'S on St. Mark's Place, where English Invalid-Rock sensations THE LIMP conclude their Ponyvillian tour.
If you're under twenty, chances are you're either THERE or KNOW somepony who is!

Andras smiled when he heard the last announcement. "Hmm. This sounds like the right location..."

Marchosias walked out into the street, looking back and forth. "Good. Let's take a cab."

Andras groaned, and trotted down the staircase, ignoring the alien shadow he cast upon the sidewalk. "Huh! Well, where's the finesse in that? We could go as a cloud of wasps..."

Marchosias ignored him, and stuck his hoof out when he saw a taxi approach. "I just want to see what they're like to ride in." He yelled out, "Taxi!" and when it stopped he walked towards it. The driver stuck his head out the window. He looked to be in about his forties, and had a startlingly gray beard and mustache, a combo that accented his light teal coat. He smiled and said, "Sure thing, fella. Where to?"

The driver did not notice their shadows.

Marchosias scooted into the taxi, and Andras went in after him. The shaded colt said, "Somewhere called Trotsky's. In somewhere called St. Mark's Place."

The driver's smile didn't disappear, and he said cheerfully, "Yeah, I know it." He adjusted his mirror, and began to drive to the colt's intended destination. He looked in the mirror, and observed their faces. After a moment, he said, "So, you guys from outta town? I gotta say, you look like serious characters. I mean, no offense..." He coughed, and said, "...you look like underworld types, am I right?"

The two colts looked at each other, and Marchosias was unnerved by the grin on Andras's face. He turned back to the cab driver, and answered, "Uhhh...yes. Yes, we're underworld types. From out of town."

The cab driver was still cheery. "Ha! I knew it! You just got that aura, you know?" The cab zoomed along, and Andras looked away from the window and to the back of the driver's head. His answer was eerily unsettling.

"Heheheh. I love this."

The colt in shades put a hoof on his head, in a way that looked like some sort of meditation pose. "Y'know, Cash Cab, you've got quite an aura yourself." Marchosias knew what he was doing, and hated it, but he said nothing.

The cab driver looked unnerved. "Uhh...How'd you know my name is Cash Cab? And what do you mean I got an aura?" The look he was getting from his passenger was strange.

Andras leaned forward in his seat, and looked over the rim of his shades. His eyes were beady and dark. "Oh, you know..." He began to speak in a completely different voice, and he smiled as he spoke.

"Don't, Granpa. Please, you're hurting me. Oh no. Oh please don't..." His companion looked over at him with an annoyed look on his face. "Andras, come on. This guy's not even on our list."

Cash Cab said nothing.

Andras leaned further in his seat, and placed a hoof on the shoulder of the front seat. "No?" he said, and he was still grinning. "Well, he oughtta be. Ain't that right, Cash? I mean, Jesus Christ, your own granddaughter! And she's what? Six?" He leaned closer. "Seven?"

The driver's hooves were shaking on the wheel. "Oh Celestia. Oh dear Luna."

Marchosias pointed at a glowing sign in the window, not wanting to be distracted from his goal. "This is St. Mark's Place right up here. You can drop us off."

The cab pulled over, and Marchosias stepped out and began walking speedily towards the staircase that would lead to where he hoped the girl was. Andras stepped out of the cab, and he drew something from his pocket. He turned to Cash Cab, who was staring straight ahead with a look of shock and horror on his face. Marchosias turned when Andras did not join him, and he heard a distant, "Yeah, sure," from him.

Andras leaned over, and spoke through the open window of the cab. "Listen, Cash Cab, being from "outta town," I ain't carryin' any cash, but I want you to take this." He gave the pistol to Cash Cab, who took it in his hoof without looking at Andras. The colt leaned in closer and said, "You know what it's for, right?"

The cab driver looked down at the gun. He answered very slowly, as if coming to a sudden realization.

"Y-yeah. Yeah, I guess I do. Thanks."

Marchosias yelled at his companion. "Andras! I said leave it!"

The colt turned and shrugged helplessly at his partner, and watched as he trotted up the stairs. He followed, ignoring the sound of the gunshot behind him and the sound of something wet splattering against the windshield.

----------

"So you just wrote a poem about Promethea and Rarity became her?"

Spike nodded, and looked over at Rarity, or Promethea, or whoever she was at the moment. "That's right." He turned back to Rainbow Dash, his face suddenly alight with inspiration. "Do you think if I want to make her Rarity again I should right about her?"

Rainbow Dash frowned and tilted her head in thought. "I dunno," she said. "Maybe if she just acted more like Rarity..." Her face lit up, and a devilish grin appeared on her face. She trotted over to Promethea and grabbed her hoof. The cyan mare began dragging the godlike unicorn towards the concert hall. Before she could protest, Dash spoke up:

"Come on! Let's go watch The Limp, so you can hit on some really ugly colt then fall down drunk!"

Promethea slid out of Dash's grip, and looked angrily over at the giggling Spike still standing beside the dumpster he and Dash had spoken at. She said angrily, "Rarity doesn't act like that!"

Dash rolled her eyes, and gestured for Spike to follow. He did, and listened to what Rainbow Dash had to say.

"Yeah, right. Look, I got a pass-out stamp on my hoof. If I press it on yours..." She did so, and several blue stars fell from Promethea. Dash drew her hoof back and examined her handiwork. "...it'll look like you got one too. You too, Spike." She repeated the process on Spike, and the two were ready to be smuggled into the concert.

Rarity hesitated, not only unhappy about having to go to a rock concert in a filthy place such as Trotsky's, but worried that her appearance would draw suspicion from other ponies present there. "But what about how I'm dressed. A-and this Caduceus..." She didn't bother asking herself how she knew the word, and listened to Dash's reasoning.

"Look, everybody's going to think you're a drug side effect or maybe some new fad, so relax. You can cover your magic wand thing with that cloak or whatever." She approached the door that was missing a handle, and knocked twice. Turning to Rarity and Spike, she said, "Now, try to act normal..."

Promethea and Spike had time to glance at each other before the door opened and a large, foul-smelling colt opened the door. Dash flashed him her best false smile, and said, "Hi, fat hippy guy. You checked me and my friends out a while back, remember?" She raised Rarity's hoof, showing the stamp off to him. "Look, we got stamped..." Spike lifted his own hand up, and the hippy stared between the dragon and the godly mare that was in front of him.

"Uhh... Yeah, sure, I guess. Come on in." He watched Promethea as she and Spike walked in after Rainbow Dash, who kept her false smile on until the sound of Montelimar Skyes’ voice penetrated her ears.

"YEAH, CHEERS. TA VERY MUCH. THIS ONE'S CALLED "BEAT ME LIKE AN EGG (BY FABERGÉ)."

Dash brightened at the sound of the band beginning a new song. She grabbed Spike's arm with a hoof, and pulled him closer to the stage, leaving a skeptical Promethea behind.

"Oh great!" Dash said. "They're still playing! Come on, you gotta see this Montelimar guy! He is so lame!" Spike began to protest, but he was already being dragged away by the determined pegasus. He looked helplessly at Rarity, and she raised a hoof to stop them. She could only manage an "Uhh..." before she paused, and turned. She could feel something approaching, and the fur on the back of her neck stood up on end. Underneath her robe, she gripped the Caduceus tightly, and prepared for whatever she knew was coming. What was coming, at the moment, was waiting to be let in by the ticket master.

"There's the client. Has to be, that stink of myrrh everywhere. Plus, she's made us."

"I don't like that she's going into that music hall. Too many innocent bystanders."

"Ain't no bystanders in a war, Marchosias. Get over it, y'know?"

"Andras..."

Andras stepped up to the fat colt at the door. "Hello," he said, taking note of the pleasantly foul smell of the colt's clothes. "I'm Andras. I'm from the Howling. If you'd move your carcass for a moment, I need to see that lady you just allowed in."

The colt laughed, and crossed his arms, blocking the doorway with his massive frame. "Mister, I ain't never heard o' your band. You want in, you gotta go through me."

Andras shrugged, and said, "Yeah, well, that's a plan." And with that, he ran through the ticket check.

The colt's body hissed and seemed to evaporate at parts as Andras charged through him, passing through the flesh of his body as though nothing were in his way. The colt fell on the ground, and several ponies could hear his screams over the sound of the band playing.

♪♫♪ON A BED OF SATIN AND BROCADE,

PAN MY HEAD WITH A GARDEN SPADE...♪♫♪

"EEEEEEEE! OH CELESTIA! OH MY CELESTIAAAA!"

♫♫♪TIE ME UP WITH FLAX OR BETTER STILL,

WRAPPED IN BARBED WIRE, ROLL ME DOWN A HILL...♫♫♪

Promethea turned at the sound of the screams, as did Spike and Rainbow Dash. The deity's glowing eyes widened, and she said, "Spike...Over by the door..."

Rainbow Dash looked over Spike's shoulder, and tilted her head in confusion. "Jeez. What's going on over there? Who are those two colts?" She and Spike stared confusedly at the colts who were trotting slowly towards them, specifically Promethea. The fairy mare herself was staring not in confusion, but in terror.

♪♫♫♪HAVE ME DUFFED UP BY A PORTUGUESE THUG.

MAKE ME BLEED OVER MY PARENT'S BEST RUG...♪♫♫♪

"Colts? You mean you see two colts?" Promethea took a step back, clearly intimidated by the presence of the two who had just caused some sort of commotion. Rainbow Dash and Spike looked at her, confused even more by her statement.

Spike spoke up. "Uhh...Well, yeah." He turned back to the colts, and then back to Promethea. "Why? What can you see?"

♫♪♫DO SOMETHING VILE WITH A COLD CHAIN MAIL GLOVE,

TORTURE ME WITH YOUR LO-O-OVE!♫♪♫

Andras held his sword high above his head, and the wolf he was riding stalked forward. His crown glittered atop his owl-like head, and his wings unfurled, sending a chill through the nearby crowd. There was no colt, there was never any colt, only this demonic creature that had shaded himself to look like one. Marchosias stood beside him, and flames flew from his nostrils. The ox-headed demon rose up, his serpentine tail twirling behind him. Only Promethea could see these demons, and for the first time since she'd come back she felt fear.

The owl-headed creature flexed his sword-wielding arms, and spoke in a voice only she could hear. "LISTEN, LADY, LET'S NOT MAKE THIS ANY MESSIER THAN WE HAVE TO, OKAY?" He gripped the sword tighter in his hands. "NOBODY WANTS A BIG SCENE."

Spike and Rainbow Dash stared at the two colts, still not seeing the dangers Promethea could. Rainbow Dash leaned towards her, and said, "Rarity? What do they want? Are they...?" She didn't finish, and Promethea pushed her back, away from the monsters she saw.

"Get out of here, Rainbow Dash. Get everybody out of here. They're demons." Promethea began to draw out the Caduceus, and Spike wondered how Dash would be able to get people to leave with The Limp still playing.

♪♪♪TORTURE ME WITH YOUR LOVE, OH YEAH,

TORTURE ME WITH YOUR LOVE...♪♪♪

Promethea turned to Spike, and waved him away from the demons. "Don't even touch them. They're from a place much denser than here. You'd fly apart like steam..." She stepped forward, her eyes locked on the two in front of her. Andras squinted underneath his sunglasses, and said, "Hey... Hey, what's she got under that robe?"

♫♫SMEAR ME WITH GOO FROM A CRUCIFIED DOVE...♪

The robe fell away, and two glowing snakes hissed at the demonic creatures before them.

♫♫♪ TORTURE ME WITH YOUR LOVE...♪♫♫

"Uh-oh." Marchosias stepped back, almost coming in contact with one of the crowd members. "Caduceus. She's packing heat."

Andras seemed all the more terrified at the sight of the weapon, and he stepped behind Marchosias, staring almost fearfully at the snakes spun around the staff Promethea held. "Screw this!" he shouted. "Solomon said she was a walk-in! Caduceus? Hell, that's god stuff!"

Marchosias placed a "hoof" on his partner's chest, keeping him in check. "No...maybe just a demi-goddess. We can still take her if you don't lose it..." Then they played their hand.

♫♪TORTURE ME WITH YOUR LO-O-OVE!♫♪

The owl's sword filled with flames, and he swung at Promethea as the ox spewed more fire from his nostrils.

♪♫♫MAKE ME DRESS UP IN MY SISTER;S CLOTHES,

THEN ATTACH ELECTRODES TO MY NOSE.♪♫♫

Promethea jumped into the air, and flipped over the barrage of flames that came at her.

♫♫HOLD ME DOWN AND HAVE YOUR WICKED WAY.

BEAT ME LIKE AN EGG BY FABERGÉ...♫♫

A colt in the crowd shrieked with pain as he caught fire, burned by the flames intended for her. The commotion was finally drawing the audience's attention away from the band. Montelimar Skyes was no longer the center of attention, and now began to take notice that a fight was breaking out.

♫♫RUN ME OVER IN A PETERBILT TRUCK,

FIND SOME SAILOR THAT YOU'D...♪♫

He stopped and stared out at the fire breaking out in the crowd. He squinted at the sight of a mare being thrown around the audience. The band's keyboardist pointed, and said, "Dave? There's someone kicking off in the audience..." She trailed off at the sound of somepony screaming, "EEEEE! FIRE! I'M ON FIRE!"

The singer turned to her with an annoyed look on his face. "Don't call me Dave." He turned back to the audience, which by now had taken full notice of the battle going on in the back, and was either cheering for a side or running from the steadily growing flames. Skyes spoke into the microphone. "UHH...BROTHERS AND SISTERS, BORTHERS AND SISTERS, WHY ARE WE FIGHTING?"

Promethea landed near one of the enormous speakers placed around the concert hall, and leaned up against it. She brandished her weapon as Marchosias approached, flames still shooting out of his nose. "Why are we fighting? What do you want with me?" She moved out of the way as a fresh burst of heat shot out at her and hit the speaker, sending bits of super-heated metal and molten plastic everywhere.

"IT ISN'T PERSONAL. A GROUP CALLED THE TEMPLE WANT YOU DESTROYED. THEY CONTACTED THE GOETIA THROUGH A MAGICIAN CALLED BENNEIGH SOLOMON. WE DO WHAT HE SAYS, OR HE BINDS US IN TORMENT FOR A CENTURY OR SO. I MEAN, WHAT WOULD YOU DO IN MY POSITION?" The demon didn't seem to have a problem telling Promethea any information they had, and it struck Rarity as strange. The deity dodged Marchosias's hand as it bubbled in between the hoof of his disguise and the hand of the ox creature.

"AAAA!" She felt a small burn as a bubble of dark substance burst on her skin. "What does Goetia mean?"

Andras appeared, and fire burst from his beak. Rainbow Dash ran out of the way, watching the colt breath flames at their friend. Taking Rarity's advice, Rainbow Dash began shouting. "RUN! Everybody get out!"

Andras looked at the pegasus for a moment, then turned back to Promethea. "You ask a lot of questions, bitch. Too bad the rules say we gotta answer 'em." Another burst of flames, and Promethea guarded with her robe. "Goetia means howling. It's the chittering of a billion insects in the night. It's what it sounds like where we live." More fire, and Promethea grunted as it pushed her backwards.

"Unngh! Damn you..." she said, feeling her body drain of its energy. Rarity was not used to such intense physical movements, though her passionate work as a dressmaker did keep her from becoming lazy and fat. She looked up, and saw that Andras was nowhere to be found. She began to turn, but was too late as a gush of flame caught her in the back. Andras was heard laughing behind her.

"HEHEH. BEEN THERE. DONE THAT."

Rarity was tired of being hurt. She'd been chased through the city, thrown off a bridge, burned by demons, and, worst of all, she had been forced to go to a Limp concert with Rainbow Dash. Now she was done, and Promethea took full reign of her body.

The deity drove the Caduceus backward into Andras's face, and the demon shrieked as it burst into flame. He backed away from her as she turned, and Marchosias met him and stared at the mare before them. Andras held his face in his hands, and screamed his fury.

"AAAAAA! LOOK! LOOK WHAT SHE'S DONE TO ME! AAAAAA!"

Marchosias looked between his companion and Promethea, and said, "YOU'RE NOT A GODDESS. YOU'RE NOT A DEMI-GODDESS. WHAT IN THE WORLDS ARE YOU?"

The being before them stood in front of the flames, and they illuminated her body in a frightening backdrop worthy of any comic book cover.

"I'm Promethea," she said, and held the Caduceus out. "There's nothing else like me." She began to draw lines in the air, and blue energy began to make a shape in the sir. The demons backed away, afraid of whatever she was making. Andras screamed in pain, flames still covering his face.

"I am the Holy Splendor of Imagination."

Montelimar Skyes wiped the corners of his mouth and stared out at the warring figures at the back of the hall. His eyes were wide, and he was ignoring the flames that were slowly consuming the stage. He stuttered as he said, "Those blokes. I...I can see sort of... well, animal shapes. There's a... What do you call a cow with wings?" The Limp's drummer was the only other pony left on stage, and shouted at him as he took up his drumsticks and ran towards the exit. "Dave, that joke's in bad taste. Now for Celestia's sake, come on! The place is on fire!"

Lines connected with curls, and Promethea's rage shone on her face and in the lightening that came from the Caduceus. The demons backed away further.

Rainbow Dash and Spike stopped after they saw that most or all of the ponies who had been at the concert had run away. Dash turned around, and saw the dazzling spectacle before her.

"Rarity?" she asked in voice that would have put Fluttershy to shame.

The glyph was completed. Promethea gritted her teeth, and drew the Caduceus away. She spread her arms out, and the pentagram let forth a shower of blue rays of light. The demon's skin bubbled and sizzled in the glow of the gram, and they shrieked into the night.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

Andras turned as the world around him burned with Holy fury. "AAAAAH! Oh you bitch! You bitch, you cow, you whore, you..." He could not rage enough, and Marchosias silenced him.

"Andras, shut up and take it like a soldier! We have to get away from that thing before it unravels us!" He scrambled away, and stood up. Turning to his partner, he motioned for him to get up, and said, "Help me open a door to the Immateria!"

Rainbow Dash came running up, in awe at the spectacle she had just witnessed. Spike walked up after her, looking around nervously at the flames that were still present and growing ever nearer to them. The cyan pegasus ran up to her, and began to fawn over the heroine.

"Celestia, Rarity, that is just so cool! How'd you know how to do that stuff?"

Rarity turned to the mare, a confused look on her face. "I--I don't know, I just..." Her expression changed, turning to one of anger, and Promethea yelled at Dash: "I thought I told you to flee this place, mortal! Why have you disobeyed me?"

Spike looked up at the sudden change in Rarity's voice. Split personalities? That makes sense. His attention was drawn to the two colts who were now standing easily on their hind legs and drawing strange symbols in the air with their hooves as Rainbow Dash answered, "'Mortal'? Moi?"

Andras gripped his chest in pain, and gritted his teeth to keep from screaming. "Solomon told us she was a walk-in! Just some Indian spirit guide or something! I tell ya, he made a serious error of judgment..." His curses turned to those against the colt who had hired them as he remembered that he was the reason the two demons were in the situation they were in. "I'm going to roast him on a bonfire of his own children! I mean it!"

Marchosias didn't look at him as he spoke. "Andras, if we don't open this gate, we'll be ashes!" The scribbles in the air began to take on a wider shape, and the demon's intent was almost complete.

Promethea turned angrily to Rainbow Dash as Spike walked up to her, trying to warn them of the monsters' activities. "Mortal, I shall not tell you twice! You must..." Her face changed, becoming softer as she spoke, though with the same strict tone Spike and Dash had heard many times at the Carousel Boutique. "Rainbow Dash, she's right, you have to..." Back to before. "Flee this place, or..."

Rainbow Dash raised a hoof and pointed it accusingly at Promethea. "Whoah! You listen, Rarity Seamstone!" Spike drew a sharp breath, hesitating to interrupt the two's argument. Last name. She serious.

Rainbow Dash continued, an outraged look on her face. "Maybe you got the worms on a stick and that stupid hat, but you are not the boss of me!" She backed up, and Spike's eyes widened when he saw where she was headed. Rainbow Dash's face took on a slightly crazed look as she continued: "Besides, this is my dream! It has to be, because your dreams are all boring and mushy and about dancing with some Prince Charming under the stars!"

Spike finally spoke up as Rainbow Dash backed away further and further. "Dash... Behind you..."

Rainbow Dash said, "Huh?," and turned.

An aperture was swirling behind her. Dirt, ticket stubs, cigarette butts and drinks all were sucked in as the two demons Promethea had fought stood on the threshold of the portal.

Andras raised a fist in vengeance. "'PROMETHEA.' I'LL MAKE SURE I CARVE THAT IN FOOT-DEEP LETTERS ON THE DIAMOND GATEPOSTS OF HELL. WE'LL MEET AGAIN." Then they turned, and were gone into the portal, to wherever they were needed or otherwise.

Rainbow Dash was falling, she slid against the ground, and felt herself being drawn into the vortex. Promethea stared at it, and said, "They've gone! They've..." Then she heard Dash's scream. The pegasus was trying to fly out, but her wings only pulled her in further. She began to panic, and yelled, "Rarity! Rarity, help me!" The portal sucked her in more, and she screamed to nopony in particular, "AAAAA! Oh jeez! Oh jeez, I gotta wake up! AAAAAAA!" She reached her forelegs out desperately, and Spike reached out to grab her.

Promethea's eyes widened, and she reached out with her staff. "Rainbow Dash! The Caduceus! Grab the Caduceus!"

The pegasus stared at the snakes on the Caduceus, and they stared back. She looked up at her friend as she slid into the aperture, and said, "You're...

"...kidding..."

Rainbow Dash swirled with the rest of the world as the aperture captured her, and she fell into it, becoming part of the background to a painting Rarity could not recognized before the entrance blurred and began to recede. The deity and the dragon watched it shut, and the world was suddenly silent, save for the distant sound of the news.

This is TEXTure™. Digital Update: Ponyville tonight.

This just in: the LIMP'S Ponyvillian tour ended in CHAOS after a FIRE and reported HOMICIDE at Trotsky's on St. Mark's Place...
Limp frontcolt MONTELIMAR SKYES is said to be "distressed" by the incident, and is to receive mental and spiritual COUNSELLING.
In other new, FLAM of the FIVE SWELL COLTS has been taken to SOUTH TOWER HOSPITAL after a disastrous confrontation with THE PAINTED DOLL.
The Doll himself has reportedly been killed in an EXPLOSION, the FOURTH such apparent demise this YEAR.
Meanwhile, one of Mayor SONNY BASKERVILLE'S multiple personalities, a shy albino named "DOUG", has confessed to charges of MOLESTATION.
Doug maintains, however, that he himself had first been molested by ANOTHER personality called "BIG RUDY." The case continues.
Up next: WEEPING GRIFFON MANIA. Is the popular GLOOMY GRIFFON a cause of teen SUICIDE? A bereaved mother speaks OUT.

This is TEXTure™.

"Rainbow Dash?"

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Next: Misty Magic Land