Promethea: Ponified

Promethea
in Misty Magic Land

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Chapter 3

A mentor lies wounded,
A friend lost, endangered,
A new world is unveiled.

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South Tower Hospital, Ponyville, 1999 A.D.:

Flying ambulances passed by the top of the hospital. Lights glared out at the world from the forty story hospital. Bridges extended out to other streets and overpasses around the city. The bridges were for those who could not afford a taxi or were otherwise not a pegasus. Ponies walking to and from the hospital on these bridges were mostly those who had family members in the hospital. The others were a mix of fans of either creeps who enjoyed looking at dying ponies, or fans of the most popular resident at the South Tower hospital: Flam of the Five Swell Colts, who at the moment was being checked on by doctors as his fellow suit-wearing science-heroes waited outside.

Applejack frowned at her hooves. Her attempts at keeping the team safe from the Painted Doll had been all for naught, and she couldn't remember a time when she felt any worse than she did at that moment. To her left, Soarin sat uncomfortably close to her. She knew how he was inclined toward her, but she didn't have time to deal with his stupid little fantasies, or her own, for that matter. She looked up as the doctor as he entered, wiping sweat from his brow.

She stood up from her chair immediately, almost knocking Soarin over as she went over to the doctor. "Well, Doc? How is he? How's Flam?"

The doctor removed his mask, and sighed. He shrugged and said, "I'm sorry. It's still too early to say. Your friend took three of the Painted Doll's hollow-points in his chest. He's critical..." He was going to say more, but the mare turned away from him and pointed an accusing hoof at the donkey sitting in the furthest chair from her.

"This is yer fault, Cranky! Ya'll should'a predicted what the Doll would do!" Her rage was stifled by Soarin, who put a hoof on her shoulder. "Jack, leave it..."

The mare turned on him and shoved a hoof in his face. "Keep outta this, Soarin! Yer leader, ah'm the muscle, Flim's the mechanic, Flam's the genius, and Cranky's supposed ta be our psychic!"

Flim, who had been silent the entire time, stood and looked at Cranky, who was looking down at his hooves, downcast. The mechanic placed a comforting hoof on his shoulder and said, "Crank, pal, I gotta say, maybe Jack's right. Maybe you're losing it..."

The donkey did not look up, but his voice was not as sad as Flim had expected. "N-no. I'm sensing stuff right now..."

The people outside were staring up at the sky.

"Something...Something's coming."

As if on cue, the doors flew open, and Promethea came flying through. Spike came walking in after her, having let go of her outside moments ago. The two paid no attention to the four ponies in suits who stared at them in a mix of confusion, awe, and outrage.

Applejack did not recognize the mare as her friend, and seemed to ignore the fact that Spike was there. "Who the hay is that?" she asked, talking to nopony in particular and still expecting an answer.

Soarin readjusted his tie, and stared at the mare. "I-I don't know. She looks like some kind of science heroine. Maybe she's from out of town..." He stared at her backside, mesmerized by her movements. When AJ noticed this, she smacked him in the face.

Cranky adjusted his toupee, and squinted at the mare as she passed by. He recognized the dragon, but in the chaos of the preceding events that night he could not remember where. "Uh..." he stumbled with his words. "Haven't I...That is, didn't we meet you somewhere already?"

The mare didn't even look at him, and neither did Spike. They continued on, and she said, "I doubt it. Please excuse me, but I'm here to visit a sick friend." As they moved on, Applejack stared at her retreating form, and said, "Hmmph. Well, really."

Promethea approached the main chamber of the hospital, an enormous cylinder that reached up through every floor of the hospital. A nearby nurse noticed her, and said, "Uh, excuse me, Miss? Were you looking for...?" She trailed off as Promethea took Spike's hand (they'd discovered he only needed a single grip on some part of her to fly with her) and began to rise up the cylinder of the main transport room. The nurse watched them go, and there was nothing she could say. She didn't need to say anything.

Promethea rose up through the hospital. She somehow did not need to be told where Zecora was. She already knew where to look. Ignoring the startled looks of other ponies in the cylinder, she sped up the length of the tube-like room.

Spike refused to look anywhere but up as they rose, and occasionally stole a glance at Promethea. That's Rarity. Somehow. His thoughts were jumbled and mixed around due to the events of the night. Surprisingly, he was thinking about not just his own future, but his future with Rarity. What happens once we save Dash? I'm sure that Zecora knows how to get Rarity back, but then what? Do we just put tonight behind us? He frowned, realizing that as dangerously close to death that he'd been throughout the night, he didn't want Rarity to stop being Promethea. I haven't been able to talk with her as a friend for ages, and this could fill in all of the gaps that have been made between us. As much as he wanted it, he couldn’t find any comfort in his own thoughts.

"What in hell...?"

The guard held up his weapon as Promethea and Spike stopped flying up through the cylinder and towards the room he was guarding. He clearly had not seen her when she'd dropped Zecora off at the hospital, and he was prepared to fire at the radiant mare as she approached. "Listen, you better back off! I got orders this patient gets no visitors..."

The nurse next to the guard recognized Promethea from her previous appearance at the hospital, and motioned for the guard to lower his weapon. "Harry, it's all right. I was here when this lady brought the patient in earlier. Just let her through, okay?"

For a second, it looked like the guard would still not allow the two to pass through unharmed. Then he lowered his weapon hesitantly, and nodded them through.

"Hi." Zecora's voice was weak, and when Promethea first entered the room it seemed that she was not there. Then the deity noticed the pod in the middle of the room. In it lay the injured zebra, who despite the reliability of the hospital was looking worse than when Rarity had left her there.

Promethea stepped towards the pod, and Spike walked over to the computer screens near it, curious as to what Zecora's condition was like. "Are you all right?" she said, frowning at the sight of the injured zebra. "Can you talk?"

Zecora nodded weakly. "Yes. Yes, I am alright. The doctors plan on grafting Clonemeat on me this night." Rarity smiled, glad that the zebra had regained her rhyme for the moment. She watched as Zecora tilted her head curiously. "It is strange," she said, smiling oddly, "seeing somepony else as one who I have been. Promethea looks better on you than me, to my surprisingly great chagrin." She blushed, coloring her cheeks an unnaturally dark shade of red.

Promethea frowned. "I'm not finding it very funny. I don't know how to revert to Rarity, and these things the Goetia attacked me, and now Rarity's friend Rainbow Dash is gone, and..."

Zecora started to sit up, but winced with pain, and lay back on the cushions of the C.A.R.E. Pod. "Whoah. Excuse me if I heard you wrong, but you said the Goetia came along?"

Rarity nodded. "Yes. Their names were Andras and Marchosias. They said that Goetia means 'Howling.'"

"Dear God. There is somepony out there who must really want you gone. The two demons, were they banished, have they returned to their spawn?" Promethea nodded, and Zecora sighed with relief. "How did you banish them? Let me guess... the pentagram got you out of that mess?"

Rarity nodded. "The five-pointed star? Y-Yes. I just seemed to know what was needed."

Zecora nodded knowingly. "Promethea knew. Her actions played out through you. You'll find her personality and Rarity's to be flickering back and forth at first, probably. It is important you do not become insane, understood? There's always the chance that you could."

Spike looked up at Promethea. She didn't seem to be having any trouble with being two ponies at once, and the concern was pushed to the back of his head. He looked at Zecora, and noticed a strange exhibition of effort into making her rhymes. She seemed to be grabbing words out of the air and fitting them together, and he feared that she would soon begin talking gibberish.

Rarity glanced momentarily at Spike, and he looked away from her. She drew her attention away from him again, and said, "Yes, but how do I stop being Promethea? And what about my friend Rainbow Dash? She was just sucked into nowhere..."

Zecora tried to sit up again, but stopped this time, remembering what had happened to her the last time. Her eyes were wide when she spoke again: "Wait just one minute. You're saying a civilian was caught up in it? Where in the world did this battle unfurl?"

Promethea stepped to Zecora's side. "At a rock concert. The demons opened a gateway to escape through. Rainbow Dash... Rarity and Spike's friend... was sucked through after them."

Zecora looked over at her in a panic. "Oh great gods. Listen to me, this has become a tragedy. Your friend... Rarity's friend... is close to her end. She's fallen into the Immateria, the world of imagination, and..." She turned over suddenly, facing Spike. The dragon jumped back in surprise as she finished her rhyme.

"...She's in Misty Magic Land."

A deafening silence rang out in the room. After a moment, Promethea moved towards Spike, who in turn stepped back and leaned against one of the many machines in the room. He looked shocked, and spoke before Rarity could.

"But that's where she... where Promethea's from. How do I get there? Do I open a gateway like those demons did?"

Zecora laughed, and said, "No, that was physical magic you saw. It's usually brutal, necessary, and raw. You and Rarity (or Promethea, if I may) should be able to make it in through the mind's pathway. This way is also used to change back to Rarity. It is easier to write to focus its power," she said, and gave Spike a nod, "but imagination is what matters in one's darkest hour."

Spike noted again that she was having trouble making rhymes again. The note was pushed from his mind, though, as he suddenly felt something rising up under his foot. He looked down and jumped back in surprise as the floor began to push up a round object up into the air. As he watched, he heard Rarity speak:

"So I just imagine this Immateria place and it springs up around me?"

"Of course. Imagination is part of the Immateria, you see. It's the part that is closest to the physical world, and getting there is quite easy. Every vessel for Promethea had a way of getting there. Margaret Case had a catchphrase to yell: "Misty Magic Land, arise!" was her ticket inside. Grace Branneigh had a painting to project herself into. It was of Hy Brasil, and was very beautiful, too."

More effort. Spike was now observing the objects rising out of the floor, and he suddenly felt dizzy. He held onto the machine he'd backed into tightly, and the voices around him were distant.

"Uh... So if I were to imagine, say, these pillars that are rising from the floor. Just as an example...?" Rarity sounded distantly worried, and she looked like she was unsure of her sanity at the moment.

"Ah, yes, the pillars. Snakes and stars adorn their tops, do they not? You're getting the hang of it now, do not stop! All you have do is believe in the pillars more than you do in me. Imagine they are the ones that are real, and the hospital is your imagination, a ghost, a-" Zecora went into a fit of coughing.

Spike was now sure of two things: the world was falling away from him, and Zecora had lost her ability to rhyme. He stumbled toward Promethea, who gently took his hand in her hoof and looked down at him with a smile. He smiled back, and suddenly felt less dizzy. He looked over at Zecora, and was shocked to see her disappearing into the background of the hospital. "Zecora?" he said. "Zecora, you're fading away..."

Her voice was distant now, and he heard no rhyme. "Good. I can see you fading away. That is what must happen. As Promethea, you are made out of imagination. That is why you can make this journey bodily. You are where you think you are." She turned towards something they could not see, and Spike heard, "Spike, however, is flesh and blood. He can only visit the Immateria in his mind."

Spike's eyes widened. That was why he'd felt so strange: he was having an out of body experience. He yelled at Zecora's evaporating form as Promethea looked around at the blue grass growing where tile floors had been moments ago. "Wait! Why didn't you tell me? I could have just-" But Zecora couldn't hear him shout. He was only a spirit now, and he gave up after several attempts to draw her attention.

Rarity spoke while looking out at the world growing about her. "But I... I don't know anything about this place. I need you to explain it to me."

"Sor...ity..not how...works...can't...th you..." Zecora's words faded to nothing, as did her form and the rest of the hospital, and Spike wondered how he would get home. Rarity turned at the sound of her mentor's voice fading.

"Zecora? Zecora, where am I? I'm..." She stopped at the sight of her full surroundings.

"Oh. Oh my soul."

Several unnamable suns shone brightly in the lavender tinted sky, and eyes and mouths dominated the areas where clouds would be. Stone heads lay just beyond the area where the pillars ended, with matching hands pointing upwards to the sky. Red trees formed a line in the distance, and they made a sharp backdrop on the blue and purple colored world around the two visitors. Waves of tall blue grass fluttered in the breeze, as did the enormous flowers that floated through the air. Butterflies fluttered around, colored the same scheme as Rainbow Dash's mane. Along the wall of pillars, bushes of white tulips stood, and Spike swore he saw pigeons fly out of the flowers once or twice.

A large feather fell onto Promethea's shoulder as she began to walk through the fantasy land. "Oh Celestia. Oh Celestia, I know this place. I..." She paused, and Spike saw her facial expression shifting again. She was changing between Rarity and Promethea again, and he noted that it was getting more frequent. He placed a hand on her shoulder and dusted the feather off. She looked down at him, and he said, "We. We know this place."

She nodded, and the two strolled through the grass. "It's... it's like a recurring dream that I..." A shift. "That Rarity had when she was nine, or something." She frowned, and said, "Or...or maybe she just dreamed she had that dream. Or she dreamed it once, but in the dream she remembered dreaming it before..."

Spike began to feel dizzy again, and lost. He wanted to agree with Rarity or Promethea or whoever was standing next to him, but at the moment he'd lost his thoughts and was trying to find them in the blue fields around them. He managed out an "Or..." before the sound of something else shouting at them drew his focus back to the situation at hand.

"Hey! Hey, you!" The voice was focused on Rarity. "Stay focused, you stupid bitch! You're losing it, and if you lose it here..." The voice paused, and Spike cleared his mind with a shake of his head to make sure he was actually seeing the girl in front of him.

It was Sweetie Belle. Or, it was Sweetie Belle in a red cape. Or cloak. Whichever. She had a picnic basket attached to her saddle basket, and had a hoof raised up waving at them. He turned back in to hear what she was saying.

"...well, then you've really lost it. Hell, you could even go crazy." She raised an eyebrow at Rarity's expression, and said, "Know what I'm sayin'?"

Rarity stepped towards the filly, an awed expression on her face. "S-Sweetie Belle?" Before the filly could answer, Spike suddenly pointed at her, recognizing who it was from the red cloak over most of her body. He stammered out, "Oh man. Y-You... You're...? I mean, you're..."

The filly put her hoof in his mouth, and said, "Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get over it, okay? You're in Misty Magic Land now, and you gotta hang on to your clarity." She opened the picnic basket and, to Spike's great shock, drew out a carton of cigarettes. Without looking at either of them, she lit one with a burst of magic. "You were losin' it back there." She stuck the cigarette in her mouth and took a puff.

Rarity gasped at the sight of what appeared to be her sister smoking a cigarette, when she was barely over the legal limit. "Sweetie Belle, what are you doing? You don't smoke!" The filly looked at her annoyingly. "Hey, sister, you wanna know two things. One: I ain't your sister, I'm-" she paused, before mumbling out her name, "Little Red Riding Hood. And Two," she sprung back to her former self quickly, "you probably want to check up on that last bit of info." She turned, and Spike followed, ignoring the shocked look on Rarity's face.

The purple drake caught up with the filly as she moved away from the deity. "But... I mean, you're exactly the way I imagined you," he said, and she looked over at him with a strange smile. "Well, duh!" she said, and turned back to Rarity, who had finally started walking towards them. She called out to Promethea, "Listen, you're here looking for somethin', right? So, do you want me to help you, or do you just wanna stand round here all day?"

Rarity remembered why she and Spike had come to this the strange world in the first place. "I-I suppose I'm here looking for a friend of mine. She got sucked into this world by accident."

Red nodded. She started walking, and Spike and Rarity followed her. She pointed ahead and said, "Uh-huh. So it's like this perilous quest thing, yeah?" She gestured ahead of them again, and Rarity saw a forest in the distance. "Then you'll be wanting the Dark Woods, right over there. I'm going that way myself."

Spike looked over at the filly, confused. "But how do you know that's where she'll be lost?"

"Oh, come on! Where else do kids get lost in stories? You ever hear of anything titled "Fillies in the Supermarket?" Red looked at Spike with her strange smile again, and said, "She's in the Dark Woods. Trust me." She turned her head forward and said, "Jeez, four years admiring the bastard and he picks my best friend." She spoke louder. "You really aren't as smart as you look, y'know?"

Spike stared at her. Did I just hear what I thought I heard? He dismissed it, and said, "Well, couldn't she be in some other Dark Woods?" Something about the way Red had said it made him want to capitalize the name.

"There's only one Dark Woods. I mean, I oughtta know." She nudged the basket on her back. "Five hundred years takin' this friggin' basket to my friggin' grandma." She sighed. "Plus, they're a lot further away than they look, you notice that?" The trees had indeed gotten bigger as they went, and know Rarity could see large mushrooms next to the trees.

"Yes. Yes, I see what you mean. They're bigger, too." She looked up at the trees that towered hundreds of feet above their heads. She looked over at Red, who was refusing to look at Spike anymore for whatever reason. "What I don't understand is why you should be the one to meet me."

Red looked over at her, ignoring Spike completely now. "Because you were thinking about me, dummy. You even sorta mentioned me..." She stopped, and Rarity and Spike did as well.

Rarity looked at Red like she didn't make sense. "But I haven't thought of you or mentioned you in...oh." Her face lit up for a second, and Spike remembered when they'd thought of her as well. "Oh wait," she said. "Yes I did. I told Rainbow Dash I was stuck in a fairy tale and wanted to get out..."

The filly in the red cloak nodded, puffing on her cigarette. "'...before the part with the wolf,'" she finished. "Yeah, well..." She stuck her thumb behind her, and the trees were torn back suddenly.

"...so much for that, huh?"

An enormous black wolf towered above them. Steam blew from its nostrils, and foam was pouring from its jaws. It clawed away the remains of the trees, and noticed the three figures below. Red was reaching into her basket, looking for something, while Promethea and Spike had grabbed each other, and were now holding each other in fear of the monster before them.

"Oh God!" Promethea yelled, and Spike shook in her arms. "Oh God, look at it! I'm... I'm frightened! Wh-why am I so frightened?"

Red shuffled through her basket, and said, "Because you’re facing the unvarnished idea, without any adult defenses like distance or irony or whatever. You're seeing it like a child sees it." She seemed bored, and Spike was sure she was crazy now. She looked up at them, and said, "Plus, it's a fucking big wolf. What's not to be afraid of?"

Before Rarity could say anything about the use of language Sweetie Belle (as she still saw her) had just used, the wolf bent in low. All she could see ahead of her was a wall of black and yellow, and it spoke in the voice that parents use for the villain whenever they tell their children bedtime stories.

"LITTLE PIGS, LITTLE PIGS, LET ME COME IN!"

Red pulled out what she was looking for, and Spike stared at it. In her hoof was a gun. He had not known what to expect from this girl, but a gun was not it. The cloaked filly turned to the wolf, and said, "Not by the fucking hair on your chinny fucking chin-chin, you fucker!" He was shocked by her use of foul language, and was about to say something when the wolf spoke up again.

"HO-HO! WHY, THEN I'LL HUFF..."

Red fiddled with the gun, looking over it for something that was not there. "Fuck! Where's the safety on this fucking thing?"

Rarity noticed what she was holding for the first time, and seemed startled by it more than Spike had been. She let go of the dragon and said, "Y-You've got a gun! But that's..." She shook her head clear, and Spike could see the change in her face. "Listen, Rarity drew a doodle of Little... of you, just after this movie Reservoir Diamond Dogs came out. It had you holding a gun, and this caption saying "Let's go to Grandma's!"

Red continued to fiddle with the gun. "Hey, I knew that! Shit..."

"...AND I'LL PUFF..."

Promethea looked worriedly at the wolf, which seemed to be filling up with air. "But..." she said, "I mean, the doodle wasn't really that funny, so Rarity threw it away..."

Red was beginning to get angry with the gun. "She threw a piece of paper away, maybe. Ideas ain't that easy to get rid of. Oh, and incidentally, you draw guns like a girl." She began to slap the gun with her hoof. "Goddamn piece o'..."

"...AND I'LL BLOW YOUR HOUSE IN!"

A raging wind burst forth from the wolf's snout, and it propelled Promethea, Spike, Red, and everything around them backward. Promethea and Spike screamed, and Red yelled a list of profanities that Rarity hoped only the look-alike of Sweetie Belle said so commonly. As they were shot back, she heard Red say, "Eughh... Dog breath..." and couldn't help but wonder how she had come to look like Sweetie Belle in the first place.

She had not time to ponder, though, as she found herself slammed into a tree. The Caduceus flew past it, and she heard the snakes hiss in protest. Spike went flying above her, and he landed on the tree higher up. The purple dragon fell on top of Promethea, while Red was blown into the dirt next to them. Once they'd regained their wits, the three stood up, and Red dusted herself off, ignoring the nosebleed she had received from the fall.

Promethea retrieved her staff, and after looking back where they'd been blown from, she said, "I-Is he coming after us?"

Red shook her head, and fixed the disheveled cloak back over her form. She took up her picnic basket and said, "Nah. He knows the rule. He'll wait for me over at Grandma's. I better go haul the old bat out of his digestive tract. You go find your friend." She turned and began to walk away, and spoke to Spike. "Listen, if you're weirded out by how I acted earlier, it's probably best you know that the pony I look like is the one who made me this way. So it's partly your fault." She started to jog, and said, "Your friend'll be somewhere nearby. These woods go on forever, but actually, they ain't that big." She tossed aside the gun and broke into a gallop. She yelled back to them: "Listen, this gun is crap. I gotta find a kindly woodsman with an axe. You take care now!" And she was gone.

Spike blinked. Sweetie Belle? Rarity's sister? Of course he hadn't noticed, and he pushed the thoughts away, now ready to focus on the task of finding Rainbow Dash. He and Promethea walked through the Dark Woods, and Spike found that they were not as dark and scary as the name made them out to be. The sound of birds chirping above them combined with the shining lights from above the treetops gave the forest a more serene feel, and Spike felt almost as though he were in the Everfree Forest. Hey, from what I know, this could be my imaginings of the Everfree Forest. His thoughts were interrupted as the sound of somepony (or something else, he decided to think) sobbing was heard from behind a large tree.

"Oh Celestia. Ahuhuhuhuh. *sniff* Oh Celestia, I wish I was dead..."

Rarity and Spike rounded the tree to find none other than the pegasus they'd been looking for. She was sitting in a clearing on top of a rock, and Spike was shocked to see his best friend crying her eyes out.

"Dash...?"

The cyan mare didn't look up. She sobbed, "It's so sad. It's all so sad. I...Ahuhuh. Ahuhuhuhhuhuhuh..." Rarity went over to comfort the mare, but Spike didn't move. He was staring at what he could only guess was the source of her sorrow.

She gets the kids and the house. I get the car.

Gilda stood in front of Rainbow Dash, and it appeared that they had been conversing for a time. Once again, however, Spike ad to look again at the griffon in front of them. Though it appeared to be Gilda, there was an identifiable trait that was the opposite of what he imagined Gilda would do: the tears pouring down her cheeks. In another second, Spike had recognized who Dash was sitting in front of.

He approached, staring daftly at the scene before him. Rainbow Dash was biting her wing, and he could see bite marks on her hooves as well. Through gritted teeth, he heard her say:

"On Celestia, we're all so unhappy. I understand that now. Ponies are in so much pain. I never knew. I never knew..." A fresh wave of sobs erupted from the pegasus, and Spike finally spoke up.

"Dash? Dash, it's me, Spike. And Rarity's here too. Well, Promethea/Rarity, but that counts." He looked back up at the creature before them. "Dash, that person you're talking to. It's Weeping Griffon..."

Rainbow Dash nodded sadly. Rarity was staring at the Weeping Griffon, and Spike was worried for her. Dash said, "I now. And I understand what he means now. He isn't funny. He isn't f-funny at all." She turned to him, and he could see the tears springing from her eyes. "He's us! He's us, and he can't stop c-crying..."

The griffon was bawling, and Spike saw a thought bubble pop up next to her.

I guess people change.

Rarity spoke up for the first time. "Rainbow Dash, listen, he's just an idea! It's just that you're experiencing it naked, at full strength, without any emotional filters. She's a symbol..."

Dash turned to her and put a hoof on her shoulder. "Yes. He's a symbol of humanity. That's all we are, don’t you see?" She bit her lip. "W-we're the griffon that weeps!" Her tears sprang up anew, and she sobbed into Rarity's shoulder. To Spike's dismay, he saw that Rarity was beginning to sob softly, and he looked back at the Weeping Griffon in anger. "Hey, cut it out!" All he got in answer was another thought bubble.

Everyone said I should get Windows '95.

Spike grabbed Rainbow Dash's shoulder and shook her. "Dash, he's just a commercial icon who spouts self-pitying catchphrases! He isn't...H-he..." The dragon felt a sudden pang of sadness, and looked up at the Weeping Griffon. "Oh Celestia," he said, and felt tears in his eyes. "Oh Celestia, that poor griffon..." He began to cry, and it was the four of them sitting in the clearing, sobbing.

Why do pets have to die?

I like country music. It tells the truth.

"Y-You're right, Dash. You're right. All those generations of living beings, crushed by this terrible sadness..."

"What's the point? What's the point of anything?"

Some days are better than others.

Rarity cried into her robes. "I--I wanted to get you out of here, but I failed. Everything fails. We're all so useless..."

"I just want to sit here until I die."

What do you mean, you need more space?

Spike looked up at the Griffon, and suddenly felt empowered. "N-no. No, I have to get up. I--I know it's pointless, but..." He began walking towards the Griffon, when Dash threw her arms around him.

"NOOO! Don't leave me! Everybody I ever loved left me! They all left me, those bastards..."

The garage thinks it's the clutch.

Spike walked until he was directly in front of the Weeping Griffon. Rainbow Dash lay on the ground behind him, and she was pounding her hooves into the ground. He stood in front of the Griffon, and with a sniffle he stopped crying.

"I have... to believe... there's hope... I have... to believe... there's happiness..."

I hate my body.

In one swift motion, Spike swung his arm upwards in an uppercut, and slammed his fist into the Weeping Griffon's chin. With one final thought bubble (Can we hear that Radiohoof track just once more?) the griffon fell backward, and Spike felt his inexplicable sorrow being lifted off his shoulders. Behind him, he could hear Rarity's sobbing stop, and Dash's pounding slowed dramatically. He turned, and saw Rarity staring at him in amazement, wiping the tears out of her glowing eyes.

"Spike?"

"Yeah?"

"Where did you get that strong?"

He blushed and scratched behind his head, embarrassed. "Uhhh..." Before he could answer, Rainbow Dash shot up from the ground and turned to Rarity.

"Ha! You probably thought that Spike just hung around libraries all day like his mom does. Or, used to, that is."

Spike stopped blushing and shoved Dash forward. "C'mon, you ingrate. We'd better get out of her range before she overwhelms us again." Dash nodded, and she, Promethea and Spike moved on, leaving a stunned Weeping Griffon lying flat on the ground.

If only I understood what women wanted...

Dash wiped at her eyes. "Jeez, my eyes! They feel raw. And my throat. I just couldn't stop crying..."

Promethea nodded knowingly. "This is a place where fictions and symbols are all that's real. Their intensity is undiluted."

Dash looked up at the godly mare. "Yeah.Th-That's Prosciuttia talking again, right? A minute ago you sounded like Rarity."

Spike scowled at the cyan mare, amazed that after actually meeting the deity she still did not know her name. "Promethea," he corrected, and she rolled her eyes at him.

Promethea spoke up again. "Rarity Seamstone is my newest vessel, thanks to you." She gestured to Spike, who scratched his spines and said, "Hey, don't worry about it!" She smiled and turned back to Dash. "Our psyches will align and synchronize, given a little time."

Rainbow Dash laughed. "Hey, don't worry about it. Multiple personalities are real big right now, what with the mayor being, like, forty different guys." She looked around the forest nervously, and Spike could have sworn that he saw fear in her eyes. "So," she said, "you gonna click your heels and get us out of here?"

Promethea laughed. "I fear that it is not so simple. What Rarity must do..." A switch. "...What I must do, Rainbow Dash, is imagine our way back to Ponyville." She turned to Spike, and said, "This is all so strange. When we get back, I imagine we'll have to do quite a bit of studying on Promethea together. I have to know just what she is, exactly." She did not seem to notice Spike's love-struck look.

The purple dragon's mind was racing. Rarity wants to work with me. Together. On Promethea. He suddenly realized he was thinking like the little kid he'd been back when he and Twilight Sparkle had first moved there. He thought of the library, and the sad day when Twilight had quit her job as librarian and the two had moved out to a large apartment. He cleared his head, and listened as Rarity said:

"You'll help us do the research, right, Rainbow Dash?"

No answer.

Spike turned around. "Rainbow..." He trailed off when he saw what was keeping Rainbow Dash silent.

"GRANDMA WASN'T HOME."

The wolf reared its head back, and in its paw was Rainbow Dash, clearly frightened and upside-down. Spike jumped back as Rarity jumped forward.

"Leave her be! You aren't even a real wolf! You're just a big blob of scary stuff to frighten children with!" With this as her battle cry, she drove the Caduceus into the wolf's eye. It screeched, and Dash fell from its claws. Spike caught her, and began to run away from the apparent battle. He turned, and was shocked to see Rarity flying towards them. The wolf was almost on tip of her.

"NNRGHH... ALL THE BETTER TO STOP YOUR HEARTS, MY DEARS..."

She scooped the two up in her arms, and Spike clung to her desperately. She flew faster, and yelled, "We have to get back to reality right away! Please, I need the two of you to concentrate!"

He heard Dash yell, "CONCENTRATE? WHILE FLEEING IN TERROR? ARE YOU SERIOUS?"

Spike shut his eyes and thought of the city he'd grown up in. He thought of the scientific miracles that had made him (or rather, kept him) in a form that could live happily with ponies without worry of growing too large or otherwise dangerous. He thought of the South Tower Hospital, where Zecora was lying in a C.A.R.E. Pod, and where they had...

His eyes shot open as he remembered that he was quite possibly still lying on the hospital floor. There was a chance that he was in his apartment, a chance that the ponies at the hospital had taken him home to the empty apartment. He had an idea, and shouted, "Do you know where my apartment is?"

Rarity yelled back, "Yes. Why?"

He explained the situation and his plan, and Rarity agreed. Then Spike screwed his eyes shut and thought of the loud purr of taxi engines instead of the pounding of enormous paws behind him. He imagined the smell of flowers and blossoms to be the smell of pizza and exhaust. He heard Dash and Promethea shouting.

"Oh gosh! Everything's flowing like water! It's like this rushing current..."

The sound of paws was fading.

"Did I just say 'Gosh'?"

"Don't let go, either of you! We're right on the shoreline of reality here, and the undertow is terrific..."

"AAAA! Pro-lifea! I'm slipping!"

There was smog in the air around him.

"Just hold tight! Hold tight, we're almost..."

And then Spike was torn from the grip of Promethea, and he was flying down a street, then through a doorway, up an elevator shaft, down a hall, and then...peace.

Promethea and Rainbow Dash burst through a portal of blue onto a bridge. She landed gently, and Dash slid off her back. The ponies around her backed away, and she paid them no mind. She began to walk at a speedy pace towards the apartment complex nearby. Spike had told her to imagine them back there, and she had done the best she could. Now she was going to find Spike, to see if he had guessed correctly, and that he had been brought home by the hospital workers.

Rainbow Dash followed closely behind her. "W-We're back! You can slow down now." She chased after Promethea, who was switching rapidly between herself and her other self.

"No. I'm not completely back. Rarity's not back. I have to find Spike so that he can change me back into her!"

"Yeah, well, that makes sense! You completely rule and have a flawless body and tattoos and stuff, so you want to be this desperate, ignorant dressmaker..."

Promethea rushed up the steps leading to the apartment complex. To her relief, she could see Spike coming down in one of the glass elevators. "I am not desperate!" she yelled, and waited outside the apartment building at an empty viewing platform. She could see the entire city from her spot, and she turned from the view to Dash, who was impatiently tapping her hoof on the ground. "And what do you mean, 'ignorant'?"

Rainbow Dash whistled and looked up at the elevator, where Spike was now exiting and heading towards the front door of the building. "Oh, nothing," she said. "Listen, I can help you think about Rarity while we wait for Spike. Okay?"

Promethea hesitantly nodded. Dash began pacing back and forth, rubbing her chin with a wing. "Well, she's about as tall as me, and lives with her sister, who is this total nympho called Sweetie Belle." She quickly changed the subject at the sight of Rarity's death look. "I think Rarity got laid about four times, if you count that thing she chased after at the Grand Galloping Gala that one time..."

Rarity rubbed her forehead, feeling suddenly lightheaded. "Blueblood. Oh Celestia, I remember..."

Spike came running up, with the same pad of paper and pen that had changed her into Promethea out and being used. He glanced up at her occasionally and said nothing. Dash continued talking. "She pretends she knows what's hip to get guys to like her... She's got this disfigurement on her neck. She’s gay..."

Spike faltered.

Rarity covered her mouth with her hand. She felt faint, and could see what looked like colored steam coming off her. "I am not gay! Celestia, is my scar really that bad?"

Spike continued to write furiously, ignoring Dash's words and writing his own views on her.

"Yeah," Dash said, "it's immense. Luckily, it's mostly covered by your enormous hair, and the rest blends in with your fur..." She trailed off as Promethea disappeared in a cloud of steam. "Uh... Jeez. You gotta tell me that diet. You're evaporating."

Spike saw that he'd done enough, and he watched his (and, unfortunately, Dash's) work take effect.

"Th-That's supposed to happen, right? I--I mean, are you okay?" She watched Spike rush forward as a figure fell out of the steam. The pad and pen clattered to the floor, and Rainbow Dash saw the words "I am Promethea" scribbled on the paper. As he caught her, the cyan pegasus picked up the items and trotted over to them. She placed them next to Spike, and as the fog began to lift over the figure in his arms Dash squinted at her.

"Propanea?"

A star fell out of the large purple curls of Rarity's hair as her deep azure eyes clouded over in exhaustion. She smiled at Spike, and he held her tightly in his arms as she began to black out. Her hair fell across her face, and her outfit was wrinkled and wet with sweat as she managed to weakly mumble one word before the ivory unicorn fell unconscious.

"Promethea."

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Next: A Faerie Romance