A man in the land of technicolor mini-horses

by twinn

Chapter 5

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The immediate area was almost shrouded in perfect silence. Everything had slowed to a snail's pace. It was as calm in the eye of a tornado. The only noises that could permeate the peaceful atmosphere were the distant bird calls and the slow, steady beat of my wings as I flew through the air. Well, I can't say the steady beat of my wings. It was more like an erratic buzzing sound made by my panicked flapping. I can't say flying either, because it was more like falling with style. I can't even call it that, since Steve Buscemi had more style than I did right now.

My spectacle was experienced in several different ways. Twilight was just staring at me, catching bugs in her mouth, while Rainbow Dash was laughing her ass off from the cloud that I had been evicted from. I, on other hand, was wearing my try- hard face as I tried to crash as slowly as possible, since I already knew that trying to stay airborne was a lost cause. It wasn't completely terrible, though. I was using my wings, providing a show and preventing my death, all at the same time! If that doesn't deserve a cookie then I don't know what does.

Remember when I said that we were in the the calm of the storm? Well that grace period was just about to end. As I slowly made my way down, time began to resume. Dash's laughter was beginning to subside and the moment that my hooves touched the ground, Twilight exploded once again.

"What is wrong with you?" She shouted up to the cloud. "You could've killed him!"

Dash's anger came back full force. Jumping from her cloud perch, she shouted, "There's nothing wrong with me!-" She jabbed a hoof a Twilight's chest. "-You're the one who stroking him when I flew by!"

Twilight groaned. Her hoof then made contact with her face. "Dash," She had lowered her tone of voice, "I did touch his wings but there was nothing sexual about it."

And at that moment, everything clicked. There was a smirk, then a snicker, and then a full-on laugh.

"What's so funny, wise guy?" Rainbow Dash demanded.

"It's just ..Ha Ha....Did you think that..Ha...That I was macking on your girl?" I asked while trying to keep my laughter in check, though I was failing horribly.

"If macking means 'trying to get in bed with her' then yes," She responded, glaring at me.

I looked her straight in the eyes. The laughing had stopped, but I couldn't wipe the smirk off of my face. "Then you thought wrong," I said simply.

"What do you mean, I thought wrong?" She asked,closing the distance between us. The heat of her breath was suffocating.

"One, you better get the fuck out of my face," I growled, pushing her away. "And two, you're a fucking dumb ass."

"What did you just call me?"

"You know, a dumb ass," I began." As in an imbecile, a dingbat, a Twilight, a-"

"Hey!" The purple mare shouted.

"Shut up, Robin Sparkles," I scolded. "The adults are talking.." I pointed over to Rainbow Dash. "Though, this one is more like a child."

"Who're you calling a child, idiot?" The prismatic prick shouted.

"You just proved my point with that amazing comeback, dumb ass."  I was getting tired of this. It was time to actually use logic on her.

"Well, at least I'm not a-"

"Can I ask you a question?" I interrupted. The trap was set

"What?" She asked. She was sniffing the bait.

"Why the hell are we doing this?"

"Because you were fooling around with Twilight!" And now, the trap slams shut.

"So were fighting because you don't trust your girl, right?"

"I trust her!" She shouted

"Doesn't seem like it," I scoffed.

"How can you tell if a trust her or not?" She questioned.

Oh, this was going to be good. "Well," I started. "You break into her house, thinking that she's cheating on you,"

"She was stroking yo-,"

"You didn't just think that she was cheating on you," I continued. "You thought that she was cheating on you while her friends watched."

"W-well I..." She mumbled, stumbling over her words.

"Do you need some water?" I asked. "You did just swallow a large amount of salt." Her silence was my cue to finish it. "You two talk about your problems," I muttered. "I'm gonna go find 'Shy and Pinks." I turned my back on them and walked back into the library.

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When I walked into the tree house, I cringed. It was like the aftermath of a tornado in here! The door that the prismatic prick crashed  through was smashed to bits. The bookshelf that I was slammed into was cracked and dented. My back still hurt from the impact. This would take an extremely long time to repair, though twilight would probably just use some bullshit magic spell and have it done in a flash.

Remembering what was in here for, I called, "Pinkie! 'Shy! You can come out now!"

Fluttershy poked her head out of the kitchen doorway. "Is it over?" She asked.

"Yeah it's over," I responded. "Sparkles and Dash are talking about life or something."

"That's Great!" Pinkie exclaimed, jumping out form behind Fluttershy. "But we've gotta go, now!"

"Why?" I asked.

"We've got a schedule to keep," She answered. "So, let's go!"

"What about the food?"

"You can eat at sugar cube corner later, but we have to go somewhere now!" And with that she ran out of the tree. Fluttershy smiled at me and followed her out. At that moment I did the only could do.

I sighed. "Fuck," and trailed off behind them.

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