A man in the land of technicolor mini-horses

There was something wrong with this picture. The library was a complete wreck. Books had been knocked off of the shelves and were scattered across the floor. The door to the library had been blown off of its hinges. Fluttershy, Pinkie, and Twilight were all shouting, trying to be heard. There efforts were in vain because their voices combined to become an incomprehensible roar. Spike had stepped out of the kitchen for a fraction of a second and immediately ran back inside  Where was I in all of this? I was in the middle of a fist fight (Hoof fight?) with a rainbow-maned, cyan pegasus. We were both bruised, bloody, and high off of adrenaline. For lack of a better word, it was epic.

As epic as it was, there was still something wrong with this fight. It sure as hell wasn't the fact that I was fighting a girl, I could say that for sure. I had no problem with fighting a girl that could hold her own, and this mare certainly could. In fact, if I didn't know how to box I would be getting my ass handed to me. Besides, she was the one who started it, so fighting her wasn't the problem. Since this fight started, one question was running through my mind.

Why? That was something that I just couldn't wrap my head around. Why was I fight ting this mare? The obvious answer would be, "To defend myself, obviously." But why did I need to defend myself in the first place? Why was she even here? I was just minding my own business when this prismatic prick came out of nowhere. One moment I'm being poked and prodded like I'm an experiment by Twilight Sparkle, the next I'm being assaulted by this chromatic creep. There wasn't any way to anticipate it. All I got was a random shout out of Pinkie Pie and then WHAM! I get slammed into a bookshelf. Did I do anything weird to bring this on?

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30 Minutes Ago

Pinkie was leading us down the stairs to the kitchen. I was actually feeling optimistic. I was going to get some answers and food all at the same time. What could possibly go wrong? Answer: everything.

When we got down to the kitchen we all sat down at the table waiting for spike to finish cooking. Pinkie was sitting next to Fluttershy and Twilight sat opposite of me. Twilight thought that this would be the perfect time to begin our little discussion. "Let's get down to business," She said. "Who are you?"

"In this place I'm Night Shade," I replied. "But I really want to change it to Midnight Sky," I looked over to Pinkie Pie, "Can I do that?"

"Sounds fine to me!" She exclaimed.

"Bitchin'," I murmured.

Twilight cleared her throat "So Night Shade-"

"Midnight," I corrected.

"Midnight," she continued "What do you mean 'in this place'?"

I sighed. "Didn't I say this before?" I sighed. "I'm not from here.I didn't even know that this place even existed until this morning." I heard my stomach growl. I had only then realized that my last good meal was around 24 hours ago. I lazily looked over to Fluttershy and Pinkie. They were both sharing a bag chips. Lucky pricks. "Where is the food that you promised?" I asked.

"Spike should be done soon," Fluttershy assured me.

"You want some chips?" Pinkie asked. She dug into her mane and pulled out 3 bags. "I have original, spicy and sour cream and onion."

"I'll take spicy." She threw the bag over to me and I promptly stuffed a few into my mouth. I nodded my thanks and stuffed a few more in. I have to say, any man who goes around calling these spicy is a dirty liar. Either that or he's just a light weight. Maybe I'm just good with the stuff. I was able to eat a whole jar of jalapenos plain. But that's no excuse for-.

"Midnight!" Twilight's voice cut off my train of thought "Did you hear anything that I just said?"

"I'm sorry," I apologized, though with the smirk on my face it didn't seem to sincere. "I would've been listening, but this bag of chips seemed much more interesting than anything that you would have to say." Since she wasn't doing any magic, I could finally have some fun with this mare.

"Ooh! Burn!" Pinkie shouted.

"Midnight!" Fluttershy scolded. "Why are you being so rude to Twilight?"

"Because I don't like her," I said very matter-of-factly. The look on her face made me rethink my statement. "Scratch that. I do like her, but it's fun to mess with people like her."

"Can you tone it down a bit? I-if that's alright with you."

I gave her a salute and turned my attention to Twilight. "So, what did you say?"

She rolled her eyes. "I asked if you expected me to believe anything that you have told me. About you not knowing a thing about this place."

I shrugged. "I really don't actually-" I popped another chip into my mouth. "-but it's the truth, whether you like it or not"

"Okay then,Let's pretend that I do believe you. How did you get to a place that doesn't exist?"

"Absolutely no idea. You are asking some really stupid questions, you know that right?"

She let out an exasperated sigh. "This is getting us nowhere!" A smile began to form on her face. "Good thing I have other ways of getting information." Her horn began to glow and I felt a slight pinching in my skull.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

'Reading your mind'

It was hard describe, but It felt like I could hear her in my head. I wonder if I could talk to her like that.

'Could you stop?'

'I will, I will, but only after I've seen what I what I want to see']

'I want you to stop now, but since you won't go on your own, I'll just have to force you out.'

'Oh? And how are you going to do that?'

'Like this' I began to think of the creepiest, most disgusting things that I had locked up in my mind, which forced Twilight to see them as well. I got the desired effect almost immediately.

"Ahh!" She screamed, falling back in her chair. "What was that? Why did it look like Spike?"

"You don't want to know" I told her. I absentmindedly began to pick at my teeth with my tongue. There were some annoying remnants from that bag of chips stuck in them.

"Ahh!" Twilight screamed once again.

"What is it now?" I groaned.

"Your teeth!"

"What about them?"

"They're sharp!"

I slid my tongue over the offending objects and pulled it back in out of shock. "Well look at that!" I remarked. "I still have canines!"

"What are you!?" Twilight asked.

"Finally, a smart question!" I announced giving her a golf clap(the best one i could do with hooves). "I am or at least I was a human. A bipedal mammal driven by curiosity revenge and stupidity. I'm sure that you saw a few when you were busy trying to mindfuck me."

"What? How?" She stuttered. "I need to run some tests." She picked me up in her magic and dragged me out of the room. I say dragged because you better believe that I was kicking and screaming the entire time. She then set me down in the center of the library and tightened her magic grip. Then, things got...physical. (Get that out of your minds you sick fucks). She proceeded to poke, prod and do other invasive things to me, stopping to jot down a few notes every ten seconds.

"How is this possible?" she mumbled. "You're a completely different species, yet you can use that new body perfectly!"

"Don't patronize me," I warned.

She probably didn't hear me because she went on without skipping a beat. "Your body is almost a perfect copy of a pony's, too! Can you use your wings?"

I chuckled. "Haven't figured out that part ye-Hey!" She had given herself permission to start examining my wings.

"Oooh!" I heard Pinkie exclaim. "It's about to go down!"

I looked over to her, bewildered. "What are you ta-" My words were cut short as a cyan blur barreled through the door and slammed me into an unsuspecting bookshelf.

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Present Time

So as you can see, I did absolutely nothing to irritate this mare. Or did I? It doesn't really matter. What does matter is the death match between me and this mare.  The fight had been going on for a good ten minuets and Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy had both joined spike in the kitchen. The fight was making its way outside and when we got past the shattered  doorway the chromatic creep managed to catch me by surprise. She had grabbed me by my shoulders and started flapping rapidly. The mare had us airborne in seconds and was continuing to rise at a dangerous pace.

When we had flown a great distance upwards, the voice of Twilight Sparkle burst through the heavens. "RAINBOW DASH!" She shouted, "GET DOWN HERE! NOW!"

The mare in question gulped and dropped me right above a nearby cloud. To my surprise, I didn't fall to my death. "Don't go anywhere!" She growled in my ear. It wasn't like I could anyway, being flightless and all. She began her descent and I watched her from the edge of the cloud.

Twilight smacked her the moment that she landed. "What is wrong with you!?" She shouted.

"What's wrong with me!?" Rainbow Dash parroted "I wasn't the one stroking a random stallion's wings!"

"I wasn't stroking his wings!" Twilight defended, blushing a little. "I was-"

"You kind of were," I shouted down from my cloud.

"Look at that!" Rainbow yelled. "He doesn't deny it, so why should you!?"

"Okay," Twilight relented "Maybe I was stroking his wings, but th-"

"Ha!" The cyan mare interrupted. "I knew it!" She the returned her attention to me. "Hey! Come down here and take your beating like a stallion!" Coming from the mare I've been fighting for ten minutes.

"You know, I would," I said calmly "But I can't."

She rose up to my height. "And why can't ya?" She asked. "Is it because you're scared?" Again, this is coming from the prismatic prick that couldn't beat me when I was daydreaming.

"It's because he can't fly, you idiot!" Twilight shouted up to us.

"Oh, you can't fly?" she asked with an extremely creepy smile. "Don't worry! I'll teach you how!" She exclaimed, her smile getting wider.

I looked her dead in the eyes "And how are you going to do that?" I asked.

"Like a bird," she replied. And the I fell.

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FLAP. FLAP FLAP.