Cocktails, Casinos, and Chaos

Twilight Sparkle looked around at her friends knowing one thing for certain: If going on a vacation with Discord sounded like an appealing one, then life had truly taken a turn for the worse.

Or more accurately: Twilight Sparkle and her friends were possibly getting a subconscious addiction to weird events and normal life was just not stimulating enough. Discord was the heroin of weird events and the methamphetamine of stimulation.

Her conscious brain hated her subconscious one. Very, very much.

The Elements of Harmony stood in front of Twilight's home underneath the morning sun, luggage by their sides and a range of expressions on their muzzles. They ranged from reasonable doubt to joy, with only one mare expressing the later. It wasn't surprising that it was Pinkie Pie. Joy was an over-the-counter prescription Pinkie Pie abused regularly.

Discord's excitement matched Pinkie's own as he stood in front of the Elements, smiling like he had never smiled before. If the six mares in front of him were younger, he would have surely been arrested with the grin that spread across his lips.

"How wonderful it is for you to find time out of your busy lives to join me," Discord rumbled contently. "Gambling alone isn't nearly as fun as it is with friends; for shared memories tend to be the best of memories! I'm not allowed to gamble alone, but that's a story for when we get there."

"If it wasn't for Celestia ordering us to go, we wouldn't be," Twilight mumbled. "There's forgiving you for doing what you've done-"

"-and the very likely possibility that perhaps - just a bit - that we're not keen on mixing alcoholic beverages, money, and... you," Rarity said.

Discord grabbed his chest in pain, keeling forward. "Your lack of trust in my motives is just hurtful! What would Celestia say to you about treating your host in such a poor manner?"

"Yeah!" Pinkie huffed, stroking Discord's leg affectionately. "He's nice now. I haven't seen him since he's become our friend, but my Niceness Meter says he's nice now."

Rainbow Dash sharply flicked her wild tail behind herself, slapping her duffle bag. "I'd say something bad about Celestia thinking beer and Discord mix, but... Twilight would punch me in the face if I did."

Twilight stared at Rainbow in a wordless attempt to silence her, but Rainbow continued talking, shrugging her shoulders at Twilight. "What? I'd rather attempt to pull all four of you to Las Pegasus than have him take us there. I offered too, and she said no!"

"Perhaps it's because you would collapse and kill us all due to exhaustion a third of the way there," Rarity smiled.

Applejack scratched at the back of her mane idly, ignoring the mumbling vulgarities Rainbow spewed under her breath. "Ya know, I don't normally say this about Discord, but maybe we should trust him. Celestia said it was alright. Ain't that the best comfort a pony could have?"

"I trust him," Fluttershy said, closing her eyes as a smile spread across her lips. "He's just playful and likes for us to see things differently."

"You see?" Discord slithered through the air, lifting up Fluttershy's muzzle to gently stroke her underneath her chin. The little sounds of delight that echoed from Fluttershy's throat only made Discord smile once more. "She was the one who trusted me when you all didn't. How could I hurt poor old Fluttershy after all she has done for me?"

Rainbow slung her duffle bag over her left wing, a canine like growl rolling out of her snout. "You better not. Otherwise: I'll break your neck."

"Oh what violence teems inside of you, Rainbow Dash." Discord winced in agony. With a snap of his talons he appeared above Dash, scratching firmly into her spine with his claws. "Can I make it up to you with the buffet? It has all the seafood your pegasi stomach can handle."

Twilight dragged a forehoof across her snout at the morning projecting only the tip of what was surely bound to come forth for the rest of the day. Friendship was stressful and soul purging at the same time.

She loved her friends’ company like she loved Pinkie Kreme doughnuts: Having none was dreadful except when she needed to focus hard on a task that was mentally draining. Too much of either too fast gave her a system overload that clouded her emotional control and clarity of thought. Both made her realize the futility of resisting the ever powerful and present forces that raised her blood sugar levels no matter what she did.

Although on second thought, her friends had helped her solve many problems when she could not have alone. Those glazed doughnuts had helped her when she thought she didn’t need them as well, putting her in a state of calm when a solution or fact wasn’t clearly coming to her. Just like her friends did.

Why did Discord have to mention buffets in front of her?

Twilight inhaled and exhaled in the manner Cadance had taught her, watching Rainbow nicker quietly in delight at her back receiving a free massage and petting. "I'm just going to say that considering nothing ever goes as planned with us, maybe - just maybe - Discord can make things relatively normal. Probability has to work sometimes!"

Pinkie Kreme doughnuts worked when probability failed.

"He's amazing." Pinkie Pie whistled loudly, trotting slowly between her friends. "Discord is so good at being Discordy that he can make us think chaos is the same thing as normal."

She grabbed Rainbow Dash firmly with her forehooves, digging into Rainbow's chest coat. "Quick, Dash! We need to get Fluttershy's LSD and fix this! We can't let him out random me!"

Fluttershy wrapped a wing around both Pinkie Pie and Rainbow, letting out a quiet giggle in peace. "It's too early for that. Maybe later."

Applejack pat Twilight gently on the shoulder, glancing at Discord as he laughed himself raw. "I don't know how ya can handle us, Twi'. For a math mare like yerself, what has happened over the last three years must be Tartarus to ya. I can tell ya, I just let most things slide off of me. Rainbow taught me how ta do that."

"Don't worry about me, Applejack." Twilight smiled calmly. "Pinkie's coffee cakes and black and white cookies are very good at repressing my urges to shout at the universe.” She had forgotten about those. “As Discord said: I can always binge at the buffet if the next few days become too much for me to handle!"

Rarity bit her bottom lip, placing a forehoof on Twilight's other shoulder. "I... am not so sure that is healthy for you, Twilight dear. Perhaps you should seek a therapist about that? You can always come to me instead of eating yourself to death. I… might have a bit of advice to offer in that field of… study."

Discord rolled around on the street in hysterics, tears gushing from his eyes as he wheezed harder and harder with every passing moment. Twilight stared him down as if he had gone back to his mad god ways once more. It only made his cackles that much louder.

"I have been doing this for eons," Discord sighed tiredly, "and yet you all have constantly entertain me again and again. Oh how wonderful and magical friendship truly is! I should have done it sooner.”

“Has anypony... thought… like… Celestia might be an alcoholic if she thinks this is gonna be a cool vacation with Discord?” Rainbow said, scratching at one of her ears. “'Cause it’s one thing for us to be friends with him. But to drink and-”

Dash felt a left hook impact her right cheek inconveniently, sending her careening onto the ground as Pinkie Pie leaped into the air to avoid being hit as well. The floating ethereal hoof that impacted Rainbow’s snout was the same color of raspberry as Dash’s cheek, and the owner of that magical construct stepped forward to blow out a plume of smoke at the currently downed Rainbow.

Twilight was pleased with the result of her magic. Physically letting loose had now become a new favorite pastime. She wasn't even drunk yet.

Her eyes scanned across those of her friends. Shock was on Fluttershy’s and Rarity’s faces as they exchanged glances at one another, while Pinkie Pie tilted her muzzle to the side out of interest. Applejack clearly thought of Twilight’s magical punch to be as funny as Discord did, joining him in long gales and squeals of delight.

“Anypony else want to suggest that Celestia is an alcoholic?” Twilight snorted. “Although I’m half tempted to be one after this morning. It’d make the rest of the day go awhole lot faster.”

Rarity let out a nervous laugh as she glanced at Rainbow, who groaned incoherently on the ground. Rarity’s attempt to have an honest smile across her muzzle also wasn’t being performed as well as she would have liked it to be.

 “Vacation sounds marvelous, doesn’t it, Twilight?” She wrapped a forehoof around Twilight’s side, stroking through her friend’s coat affectionately. “We haven’t had a vacation this far away from home before, and a night or two out with a bit of tequila sounds splendid.”

“Doesn’t it?” Rarity gritted between her teeth at Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie, nodding her head.

“Y-Y-yes it sounds delightful,” Fluttershy chuckled meekly, scoffing at the ground. “R-r-rum sounds lovely.” She prodded Pinkie’s side with a wing. “Right, Pinkie Pie?”

“As long as Twilight doesn’t punch ponies for not keeping up with her drinking, sure!” Pinkie chirped. She cowered at the glares that Fluttershy and Rarity shot at her, pouting her bottom lip. “I-I-I mean drinking games are fun when Twilight leads them. She’s our leader who lead leads!Woo…”

Twilight clopped her forehooves together in content. “Excellent! You know, I never knew that punching Rainbow Dash was a good stress relief. You should all try it! She can take it.”

“I’ll put it on my to do list,” Rarity smiled gently, Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie nodding in unison.

Discord had returned to relative levels of calm as he sighed in sedation. “Oh… oh Celestia must be paying me back for being in stone for so long. I don't even have to try anymore. Why interfere with what is already comedy gold?"

He snapped his claws together, appearing above the Elements with a fatherly grin. “Do not fear, my little ponies, for you will have the time of your life in Las Pegasus. It is… organized chaos, which is an interesting concept to say the least.”

“My head feels like organized chaos,” Rainbow groaned, crawling on top of her bag to lay on it like a life preserver. “Man… I’m never pissing you off again, Twilight.”

“Until ya do it by mistake,” Applejack cooed, wiping away the tears in her eyes with her hat. “I already feel kinda drunk from laughin’ so hard.”

“And this is only the beginning of today as well!” Rarity said. She waved a forehoof over the horizon. “What grand beauty Las Pegasus is supposed to be: Towering architectural perfection. Glorious and exotic food from around the world. Performances from the most talented acts of entertainment. It has something for all of us, and by Haywood, we shall love it!”

Discord wrapped an arm around Twilight's side opposite of Rarity's own. "Listen to your friend, Twilight. A majestic suite for you to sleep in. All of those games for you to memorize."

"And you will be my spotter at the craps table, Rarity," Twilight smiled. "If there is any mare I can use to manipulate the table and use to make a fortune, it's you."

"Exact-what!?" Rarity croaked. "I don't know how to play craps! What do you want me to do, flirt with the staff and players?"

Twilight nodded. "That's precisely what I want you to do. You can throw them off as I control the table."

"Damn it, I'm a seamstress, not a saloon prostitute!" Rarity growled, pushing her snout into the sly grin that etched over Twilight's own.

"And your dry cleaning sucks no matter which one you are," Rainbow said.

Discord and Twilight immediately fell over onto their sides as they laughed, arch-rivals grabbing each other for stability and sanity. Fluttershy, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, and Applejack looked at each other in confusion. The smallest of smirks appeared over the corner of Rainbow's lips.

"R-r-rainbow," Twilight heaved, "that's maybe the most clever and subtle joke you've ever said!"

Pinkie scratched her chin. "I... don't get it."

Rarity blinked rapidly. "I don't get it ei-"

Her face scrunched up in rage as she shoved Applejack toward Dash, the roaring of Twilight and Discord only fueling the fire burning in her icy eyes. "Hold, her, down."

Applejack pressed a forehoof down onto Rainbow's back as Rarity stomped over to her. Applejack shrugged idly toward Fluttershy and Pinkie as Rarity extended her right forehoof behind her frame. With a fast swing she cracked it across Dash's left cheek, the smirk never leaving Rainbow's muzzle despite the burning fire that now etched over both of her cheeks.

 "Twilight was right. Physically hitting you is an incredibly relieving activity, Dash." Rarity hummed, looking down at Rainbow with a relaxed grin.

"Totally worth it," Rainbow coughed, choking on her own saliva. "Completely, totally worth it."

Fluttershy looked around at her peers. Discord and Twilight were working themselves into a laughter induced coma, Rarity had awaken the sadistic side of her that she and Fluttershy only talked about at the spa, Applejack and Pinkie Pie looked at each other in complete confusion, and Rainbow had... pretty much acted like she normally did.

The Elements of 'Harmony'. This was them when they needed a vacation and were forced to bring Discord along for the ride.

Las Pegasus couldn't be worse then this. Could it? Surely Discord had learned what she had showed him through tolerance, kindness, and understanding how much more complex he was on the inside.

...Right?

A growing part of her mind wondered if she had pushed her kindness a bit too far.