Cocktails, Casinos, and Chaos

Once the Elements of Harmony were inside the Millennial Sun, things were starting to look up. Or more accurately, Discord was wondering if the day could get any worse.

He had been playing practical jokes on the world and universe for longer than he could remember, and yet six brightly colored and slightly fluffy ponies had taken him and his day captive for their own dark amusement. What they were doing to him was cruel and unusual punishment, and maybe - just maybe - in the confines of the casino, he'd be alright.

He highly doubted it.

The Millennial Sun's three towering crystal citadels topped by glowing balls of yellow plasma on each of the buildings were marvels of modern stealth technology. Connected together by clear walkways and there imperial stone foundation, it was impossible not to notice there size. Inside the buildings it was no different, as large circular walkways allowed clear and easy access from one side of the complex to the other.

A large array of patterned colors, soft carpets, modern art, and polished stone surrounded every corridor and every corner. Hundreds of creatures from all over the world were visible directly in front of them as they stared out at only the tip of the gaming floor. A swirling mixture of advertisements for the hundreds of shops in the casino were both clearly seen and easy to read, and yet they were not obnoxious to the point that they would turn a pony off.

The Elements of Harmony had never stepped inside of a casino that didn't smell slightly of stale sperm and urine. To smell nothing but purified air and free oxygen mixed together with the aromas of fresh food was tantalizing to say the least.

Their eyes looked around to suckle in the chorus of sounds and lights around them, their hooves moving on autopilot onto the game floor to blend into the crowd to the best of their abilities. Knowing them, the ruse would act for about two minutes.

The clangs of slot machines filled the air, the laughter of ponies drunk on free alcohol and their winnings only making the Elements that much more keen on wanting to test their own wits with luck.

Discord had rolled snake eyes when it came to the Elements and trying to keep them from destroying the city, and that was with them sober.

He did his best to give the Elements a tour, for trying to guide them was a hopeless cause. "This is one of the nicest casinos that I've ever been too," Discord said, trotting forward and turning around to face the six mares. "I'd put  it in my top fifty. Cleverly designed. Excellent food, and-"

Rainbow Dash felt her wings quiver by the sides of her frame, forcing herself to keep her famous and powerful appendages closed. "Oh freakin' yes," she nickered contently, "they really do pump oxygen into casinos! Oh man... I'd say it's like twenty five percent oxygen compared to twenty on the ground normally. I feel fantastic! This'll help my body totally."

Rarity snorted in the oxygen like she was inhaling cocaine, leaning into Twilight with a tittering squeal of bliss. "I bet... that all that's on your mind right now, is a certain white mare's body, Twilight," Rarity slurred.

Pinkie Pie sighed in peace, feeling the strong air wisp into her lungs and supercharge her brain. "Food sounds better then eating Rarity," Pinkie said. "She'd be a good appetizer though!"

"Pinkie!" Rainbow gagged, bonking her friend's muzzle with a wing, "that's disgusting! I don't want to think about Rarity's crotch. Or... any plot. I'm kinda worn out, and could go for the buffet right now."

"And Twilight can have the most pure buffet in history if she wants," Rarity squealed, nuzzling into Twilight. "So pure, like your coat."

Fluttershy leaned forward, staring down Discord with a radioactive glow in her eyes. Twilight's eyes soon enough followed Fluttershy's, staring him down.

"Did you spike Rarity's drink?" Fluttershy whispered darkly.

For the first time that day, Discord held his ground. He had been pushed around too far, and he was too old to be taken advantage of by some mortals who thought they could rule his day.

His fur stood up slightly on edge, as did his tail. "A water base with blended strawberries, gin, sage, protein and vitamin powder, and some salvia," he said resolutely. "Are you happy?"

Fluttershy's expression quickly relaxed back to her normally serene smile, her eyes closing in sedation. "It sounds wonderful," she said. "That should help her recover quickly. I'm happy you know your herbs too."

"I... don't mean to butt my head into Rarity bein' more stoned than Pinkie's family," Applejack said, "but ain't that kinda salvia a drug?"

"You're damn right it is!" Twilight neighed, her horn crackling to light for the swiftest of moments.

It was shut off by the loud smack of Fluttershy's wing back hoof slapping across Twilight's horn like Twilight was Fluttershy's hoe, destroying Twilight's concentration and sending her and Rarity into a slot machine.

Rarity's own stupor was made worse, but she was completely alright with being sensually massaged by three stallions from Brayzil in her mind.

Discord groaned in agony at that flickering pinch to his biology that was too close for comfort. Eons of tricking and toying with the universe died hard, even at the threat of going insane from a loophole of his own judgement.

Here he was, trying to help Rarity recover her mana reserves, and Twilight Sparkle just bursted out into a fit of rage from him going above the call of duty.

He would have to suggest to Twilight's friends several ways to deal with her pent up rage that involved creative uses of magic.

Although... that might only make her worse.

Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Applejack, and Rainbow collectively winced at the sheer impact on Twilight's horn. Cherry shards of magic splattered out of Twilight's horn as she landed on Rarity, turning her into a groaning, gurgling, incoherent mass of purple fur.

Fluttershy stomped a forehoof onto the ground. "Fuck," she spat under her breath, audible only to the four ponies around her. "I didn't mean-"

Her selective word choice soon enough registered in her brain, followed by what could have only been called a pimp smack to Twilight's horn a few seconds ago. She cried out for mercy as she became aware of her own actions, grabbing hold of Rainbow Dash as she weeped into her friend's coat.

"I killed Twilight!" she sobbed, nuzzling into Dash's thick coat. "And... and I swore! Rainbow, you need to kill me before-"

Applejack grabbed Fluttershy, shaking her rapidly in her forehooves. "Damn it, mare, ya didn't do anythin' none of us wouldn't have done."

"I would have just let Discord get his balls squeezed again," Dash smiled. "That was kinda funny."

Pinkie Pie nosed herself between her friends. "What we need, is a super, duper, ultra drug to fix this," she said, stroking through Fluttershy's mane.

Discord looked around at the crowd that had once again surrounded what clearly looked like six drunk mares dueling it out for his stallionhood. "Are you mares insane!?" he panicked. "You are supposed to be in harmony! This is worse than what you were like under my control!"

"Nice job saying to the world you're Discord, dumbass," Dash snickered.

Pinkie Pie gasped as if the greatest plot twist in entertainment history had unfolded directly in front of her, grabbing all four of the currently conscious ponies beside her. "I have done it! Good job me, thinking inside of the chimney."

The ears of Pinkie's three friends - and if Discord would admit it his own - perked up with interest, knowing that whatever unorthodox comment Pinkie was about to make would either solve nothing or everything. It was worth the risk.

"What is-" Fluttershy squeaked.

"Don't interrupt me!" Pinkie shouted. "I'm having a moment of genius! Discord can help a lot. Saving us from ourselves like we did to him!"

She squeezed her friends tightly, her puffy tail twitching rapidly behind herself as the oxygen fueled idea unfolded in her mind's eye in a manner that Twilight would have been proud of. "Alrighty! First: Discord needs to put Twilight and Rarity in a room to rest."

Discord nodded, his horn letting out a quick crackle of white lightning that made Twilight and Rarity vanish before their eyes.

"And these casinos think they can stop a basic teleport spell from me with their ether barriers," he snorted. "They have no idea what-"

"Good!" Pinkie said, pointing to the crowd that had gathered around them. She leaned forward to whisper into Discord's ear.

He nodded and stepped toward the crowd, his red eyes glowing like a bursting supernova as he scanned into the eyes of the dozens of ponies around them. If he had wanted to - and thankfully he was not a fan of mass murder - he could have turned everypony around him into melted slag with the ruby that sparkled from his gaze.

"We aren't as interesting as you think we are," he said sweetly, throwing his lush mane behind himself. "Yes, they are all the Elements of Harmony, but surely mares can't get drunk together, even if they are heroes, no?"

"H-h-he has a point," a blue unicorn stallion stumbled. "They're just college girls!"

"Exactly," Discord nodded, the fire in his eyes burning brightly as he made eye contact with everypony around him. "They were just a bit tipsy. Now, there's nothing to see here, although Miss Dash here will happily sign autographs."

Rainbow Dash nodded gently. "H-hay yeah I will! You have to have seen me on last months issue of Sports Illustrated for Foals!"

Mind control magic being used for the greater good. It was emotionally devastating if improperly used; it was far too powerful for all but the most trained and gifted creatures on most planets; it was also illegal in countless worlds and dimensions.

For once - and many times throughout life - screwing the rules was better than playing by them.

Discord was once again in his element and in control of it. He didn't like letting other ponies control what he considered his sacred ground.

Applejack ruffled a forehoof messily through Pinkie Pie's wild mane. "Well I be used by a circus trope, Pinkie Pie, you saved the day!"

"And now it's time for the final act of my plan!" Pinkie tittered, "and that is to bake a salvia weed triple chocolate lava cake with Prench vanilla ice cream, whipped cream with roasted walnuts, and liquid chocolate liquor sprinkled with LSD on the top!"

Applejack, Fluttershy, Discord, and Rainbow Dash's eyes slowly looked toward Pinkie Pie as she panted as if she was about to give birth.

"I'm totally going to start doing oxygen with my acid trips! They make me come up with the greatest ideas ever!" Pinkie whinnied, "and... yep yep! There goes my marebell ringing and wanting a ding dinging. I'm going to the potty to popo my plotieyo! I'll see you ponies in half an hour!"

Before her friends could even comment, Pinkie Pie roared down the gaming floor toward the nearest bathroom, weaving through the traffic like a practiced champion.

"Well," Rainbow said, her tongue clicking between her lips, "at least it's not as bad as that party in Cloudsdale. She liked it by the end from what I heard and saw."

"I think it's time we get drunk, pig out, buck everything, and then go play Texas Hold'em," Applejack chuckled. "As the current leader, I have come to the tactical conclusion that this situation is BUBAR, and that means that we haveta get BUBAR in return!"

Fluttershy clopped her forehooves together in excitement. "I'm going to eat so many olives that I'll likely get sick. I'm so wild."

Discord grinned deviously. Nopony could out wild him in the end. And to think, it wasn't even noon. The day was once again his own, now that the two intellectual juggernauts of the group were gone.

Nothing could go wrong now.