Enter Equestria

I awoke In a terrible Nightmare.

I went to the bathroom, and there was no toilet paper.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" I shouted, before I woke up.

"Dill, whats wrong?" Twilight asked, worriedly, I shook my head.

"Nothing, just a Nightmare." I said.

"Alright, get ready, the carriage is supposed to be here soon." She said, I smiled.

"Time for some major trolling." I said quietly to myself, luckily, she didn't here me.

I went into the bathroom, and there was no toilet paper.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Once we landed in Canterlot, we went inside. Sitting on the big throne, was Celestia, and on the smaller one, was Luna.

"Hello Celestia and Best Pony Ever, Luna." I said bowing, Luna gave me a confused look.

"We are the best pony ever, why?" Luna asked. I chuckled.

"All in good time." I replied.

"Alright Twilight, write this down, ok Dill, tell us, how were you born?" She asked, I coughed for effect.

"Well. A very long time ago when my mother was young and sexy, so maybe like, the Ming Dynasty, my dad says to her, 'Hey Angel, your sexy', so he gives her his number, she calls, and well, I think you know what happened.He humped heeeeeer, like a doggy humps your leg, in the morning, he says, 'Bitch, cook me some eggs', while shes cooking, he runs away and says, 'Bye bye', but he didn't know, she poked a hole, in the condom, So that's how I was born." I said casually, they all blinked.

"Ok, next question,how do you know so much about us?" Celestia asked.

"Well, there was a robed warlock (Amber), it showed me his magical stick, it had a clear sphere on one of the tips of it, all of a sudden, blue fire appeared inside of the sphere, and showed me all the universes futures (T.V)." I said, they had there mouths wide opened.

"So that's how you know so much about us, so what will happen tomorrow?". Celestia asked.

"Were you going to give Twilight tickets to the Grand Galloping Gala, but give her 2, so that she will learn a friendship lesson, then in the end, give her 7 tickets, get me one, I might go too, just saying." I answered, Celestia jaw was on the floor.

"You DO know everything, what am I thinking about?" Twilight asked, I was about to answer, but I felt a strange headache coming on.

"Agh!" I growled.

"Dill, whats wrong?" Luna asked. (She was worried about me, yay.)

"Ugh, just a headache, its gone now." I replied.

"Alright, again, what am I thinking about?" Twilight asked.

I rubbed my temples, trying to act like I was trying to remember, when all of a sudden, I heard a voice inside my head, Twilight's voice.

"Alright Twilight, if he knows what I'm thinking about, don't think about that doll of Celestia I have hidden, just don't think about when you tuck it in at night, and give it a kiss, and talk about your day with it." Twilight thought, I busted out laughing.

"Whats so funny?" Celestia asked, I chuckled.

"Honestly, I didn't know what Twilight was thinking, I think that headache just gave me mind reading powers." I said, Celestia gasped.

"Alright, what was Twilight thinking about?" Celestia asked, I chuckled.

"She was thinking about a doll she had of you, she was thinking about, telling it about her day again, tucking it into bed, and giving it a good night kiss." I said, Twilight blushed, Celestia giggled, and Luna was crying with laughter, and within a matter of seconds, so was Celestia and I.

Twilight was on the verge of tears.

"Don't cry Twilight, besides, you did ask what you were thinking about." I said, wiping a tear away from both of our eyes.

"Alright, what are the princesses thinking about?" Twilight asked, with an evil grin, I chuckled.

"Ha, you can't read our minds, we have walls magiced up to block all types of mind reading magi- I cut Luna off by saying.

"Celestia has a poster of Discord in her room with a heart around it, and Luna has a poster of . . . ME in her room, at least there is no heart" I said, they both blushed deeply.

It was Twilight's turn to fall on the ground laughing.

"Celestia and Discord, siting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G." Me and her both sang.

"Well, uh, will you look at the time, I have to g-." She cut herself off by looking around my neck, she was charging her horn.

"Dill, don't panic, but there seems to be a thing around your neck." She said, I stopped her.

"Those are just my headphones for listening to music with." I replied.

"There's a tiny band in your pocket?" Twilight asked, I laughed.

"No, look." I said, pulling out my iPod, they looked at it.

"What does this, iPod, do?" Celestia asked, I chuckled.

"Many things, but there is no interne-." I cut myself off when I saw a 4 bar connection called '. . .'

"Fantastic, magic is like Wi-fi, let me play a song from my iPod, I said, putting on this song

After the song, they had shocked expressions on there faces.

"What else can this iPod do?" Twilight said, about to snatch it with magic, I stopped her.

"Later, right now, we have questions to answer." I said.

So, after a long time, answering questions, I was pretty winded, finally, we said our good byes, but before we went.

"Luna, why do you have a poster of me in your room?" I asked.

"Well, YOU see, yes I have been practicing the latest speech, I have a poster of you in my room because, you were really the first friend I had." She said sadly, I smiled.

"Wow, I must be special." I said, she chuckled.

"Yes, to me, now off you go, don't want to keep you tired, Oh and Dill?" She asked.

"Yes?"

"Why am I the best pony?" She asked.

"Well, I like the night, I like the peacefulness and the tranquility, and, I sleep through the day." I replied, she had a tear running down her face, and gave me a hug.

"Thanks, Dill, that's the nicest thing somepony has ever said to us." She said, sniffling.

"Have a good night Luna." I said.

"You too." She replied.

So we took off into the night, and the last thing I heard before I fell asleep in the carriage was Luna shouting at her sister.

"HA, TAKE THAT SISTER, SOMEPONY WHO SLEEPS THROUGH THE DAY!!!"

"WHAT!?"

She sounded pissed.