Our Adventures and Mis-Adventures in Equestria

[K] = Kevin

[M] = Me

[K]

'I didn't sleep for crap last night, too excited about today' I think to myself yawning "FATMAN LETS GO ALREADY" I yell impatiently "How the hell it takes you 45 minutes to get the hell up." "What's all the yelling about" I hear the sweetest voice say. "I...I..." I managed to squeeze out while turning to see a an angry Fluttershy glaring at me, and not that im going to kill you mad, that mad your mom uses that says "You are in big trouble mister" "I...I....I.......uhh Yea c'mon Matt your missing a beautiful day" I say trying to dig myself out of the grave I've dug for myself. Ah who am i kidding "Sorry Fluttershy, I tend to get a little cranky in the morning, it won't happen again" I say on the verge of tears. "It's alright just control that temper of yours." she says with a motherly tone. "Yes ma'am" I reply realizing I missed my mom. Then I notice Fatman has witnessed this whole event and has his face buried in a pillow trying to hide his laughter. 'Yea laugh it up chuckles. pay back is a bitch' I think to myself. "Well Matt i think we should get going, we got a long day ahead of us" I say getting back on track. "Yea lets hit it" I hear him say in his typical tone. "You better not be hitting things" Fluttershy says as she glares at us "Oh no its just figure of speech, we aren't actually going to hit anything I promise." Fatman says quickly trying to defuse the potentially bad situation. "Oh alrighty then you boys have fun then." She says shooting us both a smile that would melt the heart of the hardest man on earth. (HHNNNGGGG)

[M]

"BWAHAHAH, Dude Suicide you got in trouble." I say to him in a mocking tone. "Yeah I did" he responds to me not giving the reaction I wanted. "Fluttershy is freakin' scary dude." "Yah I know right, well lets just get to town and explore before we have to meet the others." I say to him excited about what today has in store for us. "So Fatman, who should we go meet first?" 'hmm... he has a point.' I think to myself "I don't know, its kinda hard to choose considering they're all epic as hell." "Well Fatman I kinda wanna go meet Applejack, think we should head over there?" He says excitedly. "Sure let's go, it's a bit of a walk but, eh we should be fine." I say "Yeh you need the exercise anyway." he says trying to be an ass. I think for a few seconds of something snarky to say "Eh, I got nothing." I say nonchalantly "Well that's no fun." Suicide says disappointed. (A FEW MINUTES LATER) "WOOOW... Dude Suicide this town is so much more colorful in reality." I say in awe at the sheer awesomeness that is this town. I look over to Suicide who is about as broke as I was when we first got here. SOOO I slap him in the back of the head. "Snap out of it fool." I say "Huh? What? Yeh. I knew that?" he says completely clueless. "All right lets get moving, before it gets too late yah know?" I say still taking in all the awesome around me. After some of our signature shenanigans, we start walking again and I can't help but still stare at all the brilliantly buildings and houses of Ponyville. 'Damn I didn't know yellow could get any brighter.' I think to myself passing a bright pastel yellow colored house made out nothing more than wood, and what looks like hay for the roof. When suddenly I hear something that almost made me squee with delight. "CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS MONSTER SLAYERS! YAY!!!" 'O Suicide is gonna love this.' I think to myself as were attacked by the most adorable fillies in Equestria.

[K]

"I think i just died a little" I say as I get tackled by Scootaloo and Applebloom. "TAKE THAT" they yell in unison (DAWWWW). I can't even bring myself to break my fall in hope of savoring this moment just a little longer. "Ok now girls lets leave him alone I think he got the point" Fatman says trying to save me from a cuteness overload. "But we have to vanquish you monsters so we can get our monster slayer cutie marks" Sweetie Belle pipes up "We aren't monsters though" I say "Awww so much for that idea" Scootaloo says disappointed. 'Great now I feel bad I just ruined her dreams' I think to myself with disgust "So what are your names?" I ask again pretending to be clueless "Ah'm Applebloom", "And I'm Scootaloo", "I'm Sweetie Belle" '.....wait for it.....' "AND TOGETHER WE ARE THE CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS" they yell once again in unison. 'Yep' I think to myself not knowing what else to think or say. "Well its nice to meet you, I'm Kevin and this is Matt, we're new in town." I say containing another urge to fanboy squee. "Kevin and I we're on our way to meet the farmers on the outskirts of town" Fatman says "Oh, really? Me an' the girls can show ya the way, an' ya can meet mah sister Applejack an' mah brother Big Mac." Applebloom says with nods from the other two. "Yea we can get our tour guide cutie marks!" Scootaloo says with excitement. "We'd love for you to be our tour guides through Ponyville" I say containing even more excitement. 'Getting a tour around Ponyville by the CmC OMGOMGOMG' I think to myself. "CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS TOUR GUIDES YAY!!!!!!" they yell before leading us towards Sweet Apple Acres. 'My ears they bleed, sooo worth it' I think with a smile.

[M]

"Dude Suicide this has got to be the best day ever." I say to Suicide with a huge grin. "Dude Fatman you said that yesterday, but I agree, cause we are being lead around by the CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS!" he says with a grin that I'm sure if it got any bigger he would eat his own face. "So, where did you two come from?" Sweetie Belle asks with an curious look on her face, "I don't think I have seen anything like you around here." "To be honest Sweetie Belle, we're from a different world." Suicide says to her. Then we both hear Applebloom and Scootaloo ask "Well how did you both get here?" (how they do that in unison I'll never know) "We both don't really know girls we were both in the woods on our world, got lost and then fell asleep, when we woke up we were in Equestria." I say to them hoping they won't ask anymore questions. "So girls, how far are we from the farm?" Suicide asks the girls in an effort to change the subject. "Um..... Dude we're already here." I say wondering how we got here so fast (MAGIC). "Ya'll wait right here, Ah'm gonna go see if'n ah can find mah big sister." Applebloom says with that adorable accent. "Okie Dokie." I say waiting patiently for her to return. "So what exactly are you guys?" I hear Scootaloo ask us. "We're Humans Scootaloo, we aren't from this world, much like we explained earlier." I say back to her before hearing Applebloom returning with Applejack. "Hey there you must be Applejack." Suicide says wanting to shake hands (Hooves?). But rather than shaking his hands, she turns around and bucks him (giggity) in the 'boys' and only manages to get out an *GRUNT* before falling on the ground and Applejack yelling "GET AWAY FROM THEM THINGS GIRLS." Before charging at me and trying to buck me (heheh all right) in the same spot, but using my epic ninja reflexes I dodge it. "WHOA, WHOA, WHOA THERE!" I yell at her "WE'RE BOTH COMPLETELY HARMLESS!" she looks at me for a second before saying "How can ah trust ya?" "Well, miss Applejack, we aren't fighting back, shouldn't that prove something?" I say trying to calm her down. "And besides you can speak to Fluttershy and Twilight if you don't believe us." I say a matter of factly. "Wait, you know Twilight and Fluttershy?" she asks starting to look calmer. "Well ah'm mighty sorry, ah just get ah bit protective of the little ones." "I completely understand I would protect them with my life." I say back to her sincerely. "So is he gonna be okay?" she asks looking over to Suicide who is still writhing in pain on the ground. "Eh, He'll be fine." I say with a chuckle 'eeyup, that's gonna come back on me later.'

[K]

After recovering from the cheap shot I took from Applejack I introduce myself again careful not to spook her again 'Don't think my boys can take another shot like that' I think with a cringe. "Names Kevin, I think you've met Matt already" I say already forgiving her for kicking me full force in the nads. "Nice ta meet ya Kevin names Applejack" she says reaching out to shake my hand "Ah'm mighty sorry for kicking ya back there" "It's cool I hadn't planned on having kids for awhile anyways" I say jokingly "Ah didn't realize ah hit ya there ah'm awfully sorry" she says blushing. "Nah really its cool, you were trying to protect the girls, anyone woulda reacted like that" I say in an understanding tone. "Here let me show ya'll around the farm" she says motioning us to follow. "Sounds like fun" Fatman and I say as we proceed to follow her. "This here is are apple orchard, it's where we grow the best apples in Equestria, and ship them all around equestria tah be eatin' or made in assorted apple treats." she says handing us each a fresh apple. "Over there is the barn where we store apples we buck durin apple buckin season" she says pointing at a giant red barn off in the distance. "And this is the farm house where Big Mac, Applebloom, Granny Smith and ah live." she says stopping in front of the house. "What would ya'll say to some lunch ahm sure Granny and Big Mac wouldn't mind the company." she says "Its the least ah could do after the way ah greeted ya'll" "Sure I could use some lunch" Fatman says holding his gut. 'Typical fat guy can't go a few hours without eating' I think to myself with a silent laugh. "Lunch sounds great Applejack." I say with a smile. "Right then follow me and ah'll show ya to the table" she says waving us into the house. "Bringen home guests Applejack?" "Yep some newcomers to Equestria Big Mac" Applejack replys "This is Matt and Kevin, give em a good ol' Apple family welcome ya hear" "Eeyup" Big Mac replies "Welcome to Equestria boys" "Why dont ya two take a seat and ah'll go get Granny Smith" Applejack says walking off into another room. "You guys better eat fast we got a tour guide cutie mark to get" I hear Scootaloo say. "Heh trust me we won't let anyone else give us a tour of Ponyville." I say smiling at her. "That cutie mark is as good as ours" she says smiling and walking back outside.

[M]

'God, those silly fillies will do anything to get their cutie mark.' I think to myself with a silent chuckle. "So Applejack we've met you, Fluttershy, and Twilight. Who would you recommend we meet next?" I ask her, "Well Ah reckon Ah wouldn't know, considering Rarity is probably busy with her frilly fru-fru dresses, and Rainbow Dash is probably either doing tricks or asleep somewhere, and Ah don't think ya'll would be ready tah meet Pinkie Pie she can be ah bit overwhelmin'." she says thinking to herself. "Well I'd really love to meet Rainbow Dash, she sounds awesome." Suicide pipes in. "Yeh, I think it would be cool to meet her also, from what I've heard she's the coolest of the cool." I say hoping she isn't around (she already has a big enough ego). "You bet your flank I'm the coolest of the cool, I am the Fastest Flier in Equestria." We hear the most epic voice ever say as the one and only Rainbow Dash walks through the door. Suicide and I both turn around and see her instantly awestruck, "What the hay are you guys?" she asks trying to size us up. "Well I am Matthew and this fellow next to me is Kevin, it's nice to meet you Ms. Dash." I say politely introducing ourselves. "Likewise, but that still doesn't answer my question as to what you both are?" she asks still puzzled. "We are, if you could not tell not from this world, or maybe even if this dimension, we are what is called a human being on our planet known as Earth." I explain to her. ".....huh?" she asks looking even more confused than before. "We aren't from this world." I say putting it in layman's terms. "Oh, well whatever you say, well I gotta go it was nice meeting you both." she says flying off. After she flew off I turned to see why Suicide was so quiet, and once again he's broken, absolutely dumbstruck. "You ok there dude?" I say trying to snap him out of his trance. *Snap Snap* "SUICIDE!" I yell at him. "Dude..... that was Rainbow Dash." he says finally snapping out of his epicness overdose. "AND CAPTAIN OBVIOUS SAVES THE DAY ONCE AGAIN!" I reply sarcastically. "Well I guess we should get going now, cause it's getting late and we're gonna have to continue this tomorrow, don't want to worry Fluttershy." I say to Applejack. "It was nice to meet tha both of yah, feel free tah visit anytime ya'll want to, and again sorry about kicking ya ....'there'." she says obviously still feeling bad about it. "It was nice meeting you too, and don't worry about the kick I'm fine." Suicide says with a smile. "Well we're gonna get going now, thank you for the lunch and see ya'll later." I say to her. "Ya'll come back now, ya hear." she says closing the door behind us.