Chapters 7 years ago, August 10 2013, around 10:30 AM
I was sitting down on my bed, looking at my computer. The pencil image appeared on Skype, writing 2 dashes and 1 dot continuously. I watched, with baited breath, waiting... waiting...
The message appeared. "Have you summoned Fluttershy into this world?"
Time for the joke to begin. I wrote back. "..."
I moved my mouse up to my Skype status, and changed it to Offline. I started laughing. Maybe my friend didn't believe me. Maybe he did. Only time would tell. Still sniggering, I changed my status back to Online. A message greeted me.
"Casually goes offline."
I typed back. "Just casual."
"Not very formal at all. But seriously, answer the question Claire."
There he goes again. Referencing Ready Player One, for the 10th time since starting the conversation. I rubbed my hands together. How to sell this joke..., I continued to think. Coming up with an idea, I started typing.
"I might have..."
"You MIGHT have?"
"Yes... might."
"YES OR NO MORTAL!?"
I started to laugh. He truly believed. Or maybe he was just interested.
"YOU WILL NEVER KNOW THE TRUTH! AHHAAHAHAHAHHAHAHHHHAHAA!"
"I'll ban you. NOW TYPE. Yes or no?"
I stared at this line. He was bluffing. He sometimes pulled the 'Ban from the Minecraft Server' card before. I knew he really didn't mean it, but now, I'm not so sure. Just to clear things up, I continued...
"Ban me from what exactly?"
"The server."
Yep, I knew it. The Minecraft server. But he wasn't done there.
"For a month. 31 days."
I stared with disbelief at this. He was still typing.
"Now, answer the question. Yes or no. It's that simple."
Well... that happened fast. I wasn't sure if he was just bluffing... or did he truly want an answer? Did he... believe me? After a moments hesitation, I continued.
"Well... the truth is... I'm not sure. (NOW NOW, DONT BAN ME, give me a chance to explain!)"
The small pencil icon wrote feverishly.
"...explain mortal."
"Well... it could of been a dream, but I can remember it so well... It's too vivid to be a dream... I summoned Fluttershy to this world... and then I woke up... But I swear I saw something pink flash out of sight. So... dream or reality. I'm not sure"
That part was actually true. The dream, seeing the pink flash, the dream being REALLY vivid... all true. But, as a brony with a lot of random ideas and images in his head, I just chalked it up to my over-active imagination. My Skype beeped. Well... it didn't... beep. I had changed the sound to the squee sound from MLP. In my opinion, that had to be one of the cutest sound effects ever. But anyway, I hadn't realised that I had minimised Skype. Re-opening it, I saw this.
"Okaaaaaaaaaaaaaay. I'm gonna make like Pinkie on this one."
And not question it, I finished dully in my head. The phrase had passed through our conversations so much, that it was almost second nature to say it in response to anything.
"I'm sure Fluttershy is real..." I started to write back. "...and I will find her... You do believe me... don't you?"
"(That long silence)" I wrote, trying to get him to respond.
"I don't fully believe you BUT I don't think that you're going insane..."
Not completely sure how to react to this, I fell back on my bed, thinking it through. After a while, I glanced up at my computer again, and saw the new message that had popped up.
"...yet"
The conversation slowly changed back to our normal ramblings. We talked all day, and played some Minecraft together. He had to go around 8pm. Once he disconnected, I stared at my computer screen for a while, mulling it all over. He did believe me... to an extent. Thus, my joke had succeeded! Now to phase B. Pretend to see her a couple of times at school, then reveal it all was just a joke. Simple, I thought, as I shut off my computer, and laid my head on my pillows, closing my eyes, sinking into the black void known as... sleep.
I woke up around 4:00am. Way too early for me. However, I couldn't just get back to sleep. My brain was annoying at times, so I had no choice. I got out of bed and headed down my long hallway towards my kitchen to grab some food. Then I noticed something...odd. A long pink tail whipped around the corner and out of sight. I blinked a couple times and briskly walked after it. Poking my head around the corner, I saw nothing in sight. Weird, I thought to myself. However, I disregarded it. I was still pretty tired, and my brain might be screwing with me again. I grabbed some slices of bread, made toast, and headed back to my room.
I rubbed my hands in anticipation as I left my house for school the next day. Time for some fake Fluttershy sightings. I knew it wasn't the best joke, but still, exams were coming up and I needed some entertainment.
I sighed as I walked to school, the excitement of the joke leaving me. My life was getting dull and boring, it was just the same old shit everyday. Wake up, school, home, sleep. The basis of my life. My long lasting depression didn't help calm these thoughts. I have had depression for over 7 years now. My family didn't know. No one knew. I kept it to myself. I knew I would have to come out and speak one of these days, but finding the right person to confess to, who would understand me; someone like that seemed impossible to find. I couldn't tell anyone. Having them bear that secret of my life was reason enough to not talk about it. All I wanted was for everyone around me to succeed in life and be happy. A weird dream, one I truly wanted to become reality...
Lunch passed around quick, and I met with my friend. We started talking about me 'seeing' Fluttershy in this world. I was about to report a fake Fluttershy sighting over his shoulder when something else happened.
It's difficult to explain. But I had some sort of feeling in my heart. A leaping, piercing-like feeling. I looked over my shoulder, looked back at my friend, then did a double take. Fluttershy was standing behind me around 15 meters away. I blinked a couple of times. She was still there. She wasn't doing anything, just standing there. She then simply trotted away. I looked at my friend, who was looking at me quizzically. I told him what I saw.
"Where?" he asked simply.
I pointed in the direction of Fluttershy. Or... more specifically, where Fluttershy had been.
"I can't see anything."
"Obviously. Whomever summons Fluttershy to this world is the only person who can see, hear, or touch her. You remember the picture on My Little Brony you showed me?"
He nodded. The picture showed Pinkie Pie with the caption, "This is Pinkie Pie. You, and you alone, have the power to summon her into this world. You are the only person who can see, hear, or touch her. However, everyone around you will think you are insane. Would you do it?" My friend and I were both partly crazy and insane anyway, so we both answered will a "HELL YEAH!".
"Maybe the same rules apply from that picture?" I stated, wanted a reply.
My friend said nothing. He just shrugged.
"It seems to be like a 'Laughter Never Dies' thing." my friend finally said.
I nodded, approving the reference of one of my favourite Fanfictions.
"Maybe it's like some sort of residual dream image..." I continued.
He nodded. "However, if you start having conversations with her, I'm gonna get REALLY suspicions."
I was confused. "Why?"
"That's pretty hard to believe, no matter how trust-worthy the friend"
I understood what he meant.
"Yeah... Fluttershy will probably hide from me. And I'll never see her again..."
For some reason, saying that made me sad. I know that this Fluttershy thing could all be in my head... but what if it wasn't? What if Fluttershy was actually real and in this world, and only I could communicate with her? Where would she go? This world was a big place. If she got lost... that was my biggest worry for her right now.
"Exactly." my friend finished.
"But wait a second... If Fluttershy could of just hid from me, then why is she not? She was just there a few minutes ago."
"I don't know..."
The rest of our conversation went back to our usual topics. But I was distracted. Was Fluttershy real? Or was it just my mind? I asked these questions to myself over and over. When school had ended, and night had fell, I was really looking forward to a great night's sleep. I collapsed on my bed and dropped off to sleep immediately.
Over the next 2 years, I kept on seeing Fluttershy in random places at random times. She never walked towards me, she just looked at me for a while then trotted away. At first, my friend believed me. He seemed to have the same heart thing I did. But after a while, my friend called what I seeing a joke, and if I believed in what I saw, then I was crazy and insane. I stopped talking to him about it, but he wouldn't stop teasing me about it. After a while, he stopped and forgot about it. I didn't stop seeing Fluttershy though... I finished school at the end of the second year, with high marks too. So I entered university. After I left school, I didn't see Fluttershy at all.
It has been a year since I last saw Fluttershy, and I now believe that she as gone back to her world. A part of me still believes that I imagined the entire thing. That was... until one day during my semester break in January 2017.
I was alone in my house. My family were all out. Everyone apart from my older brother had gone shopping in the morning. My older brother had gone out to his friend's flat. I was playing some Dota 2 as Tinker, my favourite character so far in the ever-developing game. As I carved through the lanes, taking out creeps, towers, and enemy heroes alike, my thoughts strayed to Fluttershy. I never really thought about her nowadays, due to many other things in my life. I should be studying, I told myself. My next semester is going to start in a couple of days. I got a Beyond Godlike streak after getting a triple kill at that moment. It can wait, I thought, smiling to myself at my obvious lack of interest in my school work.
I just won yet another game when I checked my watch. 6:00pm. Wow, time had really flew. But more importantly, my family should have been back by now. I didn't panic though. I rarely panicked nowadays. My mind came up with at least a dozen reasons why they were late. I turned off my computer and got myself some food. The phone rang. I walked over to the phone and picked it up.
Sobbing. The sound I heard from the other side of the connection.
"Hello?" I said, more confused now.
"Hey." the voice said through tears and sobs.
It was my brother.
"What's wrong?"
"I just heard. Mum, Dad, our siblings... they're dead."
For a few moments, I didn't believe him. I couldn't believe him. Dead... our family? No... I couldn't. But, I thought, my brother would never call if it wasn't something important. And he never cried. Never. He was telling the truth. My world shattered around me, just like my innocence on the outlook of life at that moment.
"How?" I asked, trying to keep my voice from cracking.
"The car lost control, and careened off a ledge."
The next few minutes of our call were mixed. Sobbing, comforting, and information. The police had told my brother everything. He had seen their bodies.
"What now? We are the remainder of our family. What do we do?" I asked.
"I don't know... We'll think of something. I'll be back tomorrow."
"See you then."
I placed the phone back on the hook, and glared at it for several seconds. Then I broke down. I stumbled to my room, slamming the door behind me and I sat down on my bed, head in hands. Pictures of my family flashed through my mind, obscuring my vision. I couldn't push it away. The ghostly images floated around me, as I sat and wept in my sorrow.
I heard my bedroom door open. I looked around, my sorrow turning to anger, as I glared at whoever had opened my door. Then my anger melted away as I saw who it was. I couldn't believe it. My eyes knew who it was; my brain just hadn't caught up yet. Somehow, I managed to stand up and look at the door. Standing at the door was a four-legged creature with a yellow coat and a pink mane and tail. I stumbled backwards, falling onto the floor. I stared at the newcomer. I couldn't speak. It was all too much. The creature entered the room slowly, gazing at me with large blue eyes.
"F- Fluttershy?" I managed to finally choke out.
Questions and Explanations
I blacked out. I must of fainted. Out of surprise or just being over-whelmed with emotion, I don't know. I woke up, still on the floor, a blanket over me. Blinking a couple of times to clear my vision, I stood up and looked around. My room seemed pretty much normal. Apart from one thing. A yellow and pink creature, asleep on my bed.
This meme has been dead for years... but my heart exploded, twice. It was just too cute. Fluttershy lay with her head resting against her front legs, her back legs tucked in close to her, her tail wrapped around her and her wings retracted. Every once in a while, her wings would extend and flap for a second, before settling back down. But the cutest thing about her was her breath. She breathed in nice and slow, and exhaled with a little puff out of her mouth. Oh my god the cuteness. There is something about seeing it in real life which makes it more cute than just an animated picture. I couldn't stop thinking, "I need to get out of here before I get a heart attack.". I looked down at the yellow mare, sleeping peacefully on my bed, and couldn't help but smile. I stretched out a hand to touch her, but thought better of it. Even if this was just a mental image, I didn't want to wake her. I slowly exited the room, closing the door quietly behind me.
My brother had returned from the flat. I gave him a hug when I saw him. He explained a couple things to me about what life will be like now. He also said that he was going to live at the flat from here on out. I didn't ask for a reason why; his life was his own. I would stay here for now. It was the only place I had. My brother gathered his things and... just left. Just like that. He didn't say anything else to me. I imagine this whole situation must be too painful for him.
My brother and I... only 6 years ago, he hated me beyond measure. I guess that was my fault. I was an immature little guy when I was young, and I annoyed him constantly. Then, I grew up, and I bridged the gap between us. We were close... closer than my other brothers or sister.
Because my parents no longer could provide income, I had to find a job... fast. I got my sisters old job at Video Ezy the same day. She was one the best employees there, so when I went in and proved I was her brother, I was hired instantly. Probably out of pity for me. The job paid well, but I couldn't help but feel sad every passing moment I was in there. I was told I would start work on Monday. I walked home, thinking about all that had transpired that day. I entered my house to find Fluttershy waiting for me. She was absent-mindedly rubbing her hoof on the floor. I walked up to her, and stretched out my hand. I found to my amazement that I could touch her soft coat. I withdrew my hand quickly though. I didn't want Fluttershy to feel awkward.
"You're real." I said in awe.
"Of course I am." she responded in her quiet voice.
My heart exploded again.
"You must be hungry."
"Umm... no." she said awkwardly.
She trotted into the kitchen and I followed. It was... trashed. Food lay everywhere. Most of the food had small bites in it. I looked at Fluttershy, who was starting to slowly move back from me. I laughed. Just laughed. I couldn't get mad at her. She was a curious little mare. Fluttershy started to laugh with me. Her laugh sounded amazing. Soft and delicate. It nearly made my heart explode.
"I guess you were hungry." I laughed.
"More than anything. But I wasn't sure what I should have. So I had a bit of everything!"
She laughed again and so did I.
"Well, I guess I have to buy some more food. But before that, I have a few questions for you."
I moved to my living room and sat down in one of the multiple chairs in the room.
"Questions? Oh, I don't know..." said a nervous Fluttershy.
"It's only a couple. Trust me. Sit down."
I motioned towards a chair, just opposite to me, separated by a rectangular coffee table. She 'sat' down and looked at me. I had the strange feeling that she could see into my soul.
"Just a couple of things I want to ask you. How did you get to this world? How did you find me? And how did you know that only I could see you? Why didn't you talk to me at all? And why didn't I see you for the past year? Why reveal yourself and talk to me now? And finally, is there an Equestria?" I rattled off these questions without taking more than one breath.
"A couple of questions?!" she yelled at me.
"I'm sorry... but I'm just as curious as you are about the whole situation."
She looked suspiciously at me.
"What was that last question? 'Is there an Equestria?' How do you know about Equestria!?" She realised what she just said, and clamped a hoof over her mouth.
"So there is an Equestria?!" I asked eagerly, leaning forward in my seat.
She shook her head.
"Fluttershy, if there is an Equestria, then what about your friends? Twilight Sparkle, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Applejack. Them! Do they exist?"
Her eyes widened with shock.
"How do you know so much!?" she asked.
"After you have answered my questions, I will answer yours."
She nodded, but still stared at me with a hint of horror in her eyes.
"How did you get to this world?" I asked.
"I don't know. I was trying to feed Angel Bunny, he's my bunny by the way."
"Obvious, due to the name. I already know about him."
I think she was about to ask, 'How do you know?' once more, but she closed her mouth, opened it again, and continued.
"Then I was suddenly here."
"Here? Where exactly?"
"That room with all the pieces of oddly-shaped cloth on the floor."
Oddly-shaped cloth? Oh! Clothes... I hadn't bothered to clean my room for a while and clothes littered the floor. But then it hit me.
"My room?!"
"Yes."
I thought this over. Maybe that dream I had that night, so long ago, wasn't a dream.
"How did you know I could see you?"
"Well, when I appeared in your room, I thought you had something to do with me being there. No one else around seemed to notice me. No matter how much I screamed in their ear."
I sniggered at this. Fluttershy's scream was cute, but most likely no one could hear it, even if they could hear her. I remembered back to that one MLP episode where Fluttershy became a model. That scream was the best bit of that episode. It sounded like a creaky door opening.
"When you looked straight at me at school, I knew you could see me." continued Fluttershy.
"Why didn't you talk to me? Wait- I know. You were scared weren't you?"
She nodded. "Meeting new ponies... It's scary."
"You have been here for 3 years, Fluttershy. 3 years."
"I know that."
"Scared for all that time of me?"
"Yes."
"I haven't seen you for a whole year Fluttershy. Care to elaborate?"
She grinned like Pinkie Pie.
She did have a mischievous side. I rolled my eyes and continued.
"So, after being scared of meeting new ponies... uh... people, why reveal yourself now?"
"Because of what had happened to you. Losing your family."
"How do you know about that?"
"I was outside your house at the time you got that message. I heard the entire thing. So I felt like you needed some help."
"You were right."
"I flew in through an open window and followed the sounds of crying. That's when I found you. You looked at me, fell on the ground, then you stopped moving. You were still breathing, so I grabbed a blanket for you and slept on your bed."
I barely had time to process all of this before Fluttershy struck back.
"Now it is time for me to ask you some questions. How you know my name? And my other friends? How do you know of Equestria? And I don't even know your name!"
"How rude of me to not tell you my name."
I told her my name.
"That's a nice name." she said.
"Not as nice as Fluttershy." I replied.
She blushed, but then instantly went back on the attack.
"That doesn't answer my question. How do you know so much?"
For the first time since I had started talking to her, I was scared. How would she take this news?
"Well!?" she asked, tapping her hoof on the armrest of the chair.
I couldn't tell her. But I have to someday. So, lets make it now.
"All your questions can be answered with one thing."
"Yes?"
"Stay here for a second."
I moved to my room and grabbed my laptop and returned to where Fluttershy was still patiently sitting. I set my laptop down on the coffee table and turned it on.
"Come here."
Fluttershy flew over to me and rested herself comfortably on the armrest of the chair. Good thing it was soft. The first thing she saw was my desktop background. One I haven't changed for years.
"Is that?-" she began.
"It's you and Rainbow Dash."
The desktop background was of Fluttershy sleeping, similar to the way I saw her before. Part of her mouth was pressed up again Rainbow Dash's tail, who was sleeping with her head on Fluttershy's back. It was a cute background. I loved it. Before Fluttershy could ask any questions about the picture, I went to my video folder, where I had all the seasons of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic stored. In HD as well.
"Fluttershy, this might be tough to hear."
"I think I'll be okay." she said sternly.
"Fine. Fluttershy. You are supposed to be a fictional character from a kids show."
Fluttershy didn't speak. She just gazed at me with a weird look in her eye.
"What?" she said.
"Just look."
I started to play the show for her. All of the seasons. All the episodes. After we had finished, she looked scared.
"Everything that happened in the show also happened in Equestria!"
"What?" Now it was my turn to look scared. That was no coincidence.
"All of it! Every single bit."
I was confused. Did Hasbro have some sort of connection with Equestria? Absurd thought... but still.. possible. I looked more closely at Fluttershy. She seemed pretty confused about everything right now. I decided on something.
"Fluttershy, I'll tell you more about my world, but I think we should get some sleep."
Fluttershy yawned, and my heart exploded again. Cute? Very.
"Yeah, I agree. Where am I going to sleep then?"
"You seemed to like my bed very much."
Fluttershy giggled. "Yeah, but I think you should have it tonight."
I thought for a moment then got an idea. I went up to my room and pulled the mattress off it and moved it to the other side of the room.. I placed the blankets, pillows and whatnot on the mattress. Then I got a spare mattress, pillows, blankets and whatnot and placed that where the mattress used to be on my bed. I cleaned up my room as best I could within a few seconds. I had a guest in the house after all. Fluttershy trotted in and I motioned to the mattress that I had pulled to the side.
"For now." I declared. "You may stay with me in my room."
Fluttershy trotted over to the mattress and jumped up and down experimentally on it.
"Comfy." she said. She got under the covers, and I did the same in my own bed. Nothing else was said. I closed my eyes, wanting sleep.
"Goodnight." called a soft voice from the outside of my room.
"Night." I replied, and I sank into more dreams.
The next few days I spent with Fluttershy were basically spent telling her more about my world. I covered a lot in a few days. I spent a lot of time on the fact that lots of things were different in our worlds. For example, the sun or the moon didn't need to be raised using god ponies. The weather controlled itself and a lot of other key differences. We didn't get a lot of time together for these lessons. I would have had longer lessons with her but I wasn't allowed time off from work or time off from university. So I packed our lessons full of information and they mostly began near the evenings when I could get home. However, I started this lesson in the afternoon, due to me finally having no work today.
I had just got around to Fanfictions when her stomach growled. She blushed, and I told her I'd be back in a second. I went down to the kitchen and quickly prepared a meal for her. I couldn't of been gone more than 5 minutes. When I got back, she stared at me with anger and confusion of her face.
“I was about to explain all this to you, but then you got hungry. I made you some food.”
After this talk, Fluttershy decided to have a fly around outside for a while. I told her to be careful as she flew away. I worried about her. Constantly. I tried to do something... anything while I waited for her to return. But I found my mind, blank. Usually it was buzzing with information and ideas. But, now... nothing. I realised... Fluttershy has become an integral part of my life now, even though she has only talked to me for a few days. She was living in my house, she was eating my food, she listened to me talk. All these things and more proved that Fluttershy was now in my life. To stay? That would be determined by the passage of time.
It was only a few minutes later when an ecstatic Fluttershy returned. She asked me to follow her. I did, very confused. She flew overhead as I followed her on the ground. After going through some trees and up a hill, I saw Fluttershy in front of me. She was standing next to a single tree, separated from the others. She sat down and lent back on the tree. I walked over to her, and did the same to her right. She had found an amazing spot. The scenery was amazing. I could see my home town and everything around it. We basically a had 360 degree view. It was amazing. The sun was going down and the sky started to turn orange. I looked at Fluttershy and suddenly had an idea. I pulled out my camera. Fluttershy stared at it and then at me.
“What's that?”
A few weeks passed, and Fluttershy had asked for her own room. There were plenty of spare bedrooms in my house now, so I told her to take her pick. She picked the room right next to mine. My 2 little brothers' old room. After a few days of moving into her own room, Fluttrshy had really started to become comfortable around me and living in this world. We grew close after a few months. Very close. Closer than family. I started to think of her as my sister. I felt protective of her. However, there was something wrong with Fluttershy, and there was nothing I could do. She couldn't communicate with animals any more, like she could do in Equestria. In the 3 years separating her coming here and her talking to me finally, she realised that couldn't speak with wildlife any more. Bringing this memory back to the surface made her sad. It took a while, but I cheered her up, but I couldn't help but think of ways to help her. She couldn't do what it was her destiny to do. I wanted to help so badly, but what could I do? I can't magic her to be seen by wildlife, right? Time passed, and we were both happy. We were having fun together. I was loving it. Not only was I completely happy, my depression forgotten, I was happy with Fluttershy. And that was amazing. I was having the best time of my life.
Then, I had the worst time of my life...
The Worst Time of my Life
My older brother was taking our family's death hard. He was having massive moments of depression. When I was out one day for a therapy session, my cell phone rang. It was one of my brothers friends he lived with at the flat. He said that my brother had shot himself. Tears sprung to my eyes. I faintly heard him say something about my house before I hung up. I ran out of the therapy session and headed back home. When I got there, there were heaps of people. Friends of mine and my brother were there along with a few people I didn't know. They swarmed me as I walked up the driveway. They all offered their condolences, firing them out like a madman with an automatic machine gun. I just pushed past them. I didn't want to talk to anyone or anybody. I opened my front door and turned to the swarm of people massing in front of it. The babble of talk died almost immediately while I stood there. Everyone looked at me. I didn't know what I felt at that moment. Hell, I didn't feel sad at all. I spoke one word. "Leave." Then I slammed my front door. The noise must of peaked the attention of Fluttershy. She trotted down the hallway, looking at me with concern, her ears perked up. She knew something was wrong with me.
"What happened?" her caring, soft voice rang out. Soft thumps on the floor signified her approach. She was right in front of me now, looking at me with those large beautiful eyes. What happened next is the most terrible thing I will ever do. Ever. I could never forgive myself. Ever.
I shouted at her. Terrible, terrible things. All of my built up feelings were finally released, and I hurled it all at Fluttershy. She cowered against the wall and I will never forget her face at that moment. I continued to yell. She didn't deserve it. None of it was about her. It was all driven by the bad things in my life that had happened over the past few months. My family were now all gone. I was the only one left, and having to repress feelings about those incidents had driven me a little crazy. It was kind of soothing, letting out all my feelings, but I should of shouted at the wall or anything else. Not at the kind mare who had come to see what was wrong with me. God, I feel terrible. That moment will forever plague me.
When I had stopped, Fluttershy was against the corner of my living room, cowering before me. Her eyes were filling with tears and she looked at me like I was some kind of monster. My brain finally let me realise what I had done. I tried to apologize but before I could even make out what I was going to say, Fluttershy flew away, out a window, into the sky. I heard her start crying as she left. I ran to the window, but she was already gone.
I yelled in frustration and slammed my fist into the coffee table. The wood cracked. With my other hand I flipped my coffee table and it landed with a muffled crash. I sat down on my chair and held my head in my hands. My family... my brother... now my favourite pony and loyal friend. All gone. I couldn't take the amount of loss. I started crying. I took out the picture of me and her on that hill, by that tree. Only Fluttershy and I could see the true nature of this photo.
I held the picture to my heart, staring up at the ceiling. Ghostly images floated around me. Not of my deceased family, but of the very alive mare that had just left. The images were of all the happy times we had spent together. My eyes started to burn from the abundance of tears. I knew I couldn't bridge this gap in our friendship. I had caused her to cry. That, in brony terms, was the same as murdering someone in real life. Unforgivable, the term used for both offences. I knew our friendship was over. It was as dead as my family is now.
It has been ten days. Ten long days.
My mental health is deteriorating. After what has happened, how could it not? After Fluttershy left, I haven't been able to eat or drink properly. I keep seeing her, and this time I know it was just a mental picture. It didn't look real. It wasn't real. It wasn't her. I called into work and the university, and they allowed me a few weeks off, due to my brother's death. However, it wasn't because of my brother's death that I needed time off. I needed time off because of Fluttershy leaving. I couldn't believe what I had done to her. Every time I woke up, I walked to her room and poked my head in, hoping to see her back, only to see it blank and bare as the last time I looked. To make matters worse, people were calling, texting, and e-mailing me constantly. I hated the constant ring of the telephone and the beep of my cell, so I turned them both off. I simply ignored my e-mail.
For the past few days I have been looking for the pegasus, but she had gone. Forever. Even, by some miracle I found her, she would just fly away. I have been sitting in her room for hours at a time, just remembering everything that had happened. I usually just ended up crying again.
At least two good things came out of all of this. One, my friend met one of my 'friend-who-is-a-girl-but-not-my-girlfriend-friend s' when they were massing outside my house on the day of my brother's death, and they hit it off. I got a call from him before I disconnected everything. He was happy, she was happy. I wasn't, but I felt happy for them. They would soon spend the rest of their life together as 2 and a half years later, he would propose to her. And she would say yes.
The other thing? It could be called good or bad. I found an ancient spellbook while randomly looking through books in the library. I still have no idea how it wasn't found before by someone else, but I didn't spend pointless time wondering about that. I couldn't wait to read it; see what I could perform. That is... if it was real of course.
It's real all right. The textbook. I tried one of the spells. A teleportation spell. All I had to do was place my hand against the object and speak some weird language. As soon as I started, my hand started to glow. Once I had finished, the apple I was practising on disappeared with pop, reappearing behind me just like I wanted. I felt drained afterwards. Too much energy was used. I made a mental note to practise this ability and improve my energy use. I also made a mental note to search through this book, to find out more stuff.
Another 3 days have passed. The book had a couple things I was interested in. But no spell could perform what I truly wanted. Having Fluttershy, back in front of me. Two spells in particular had utmost importance to me however. One, the ability to communicate with animals and be seen by them if you were invisible. Two, send anyone or anything supernatural back to where they came from. The latter spell was very specific about the time you should do it. Only once every 20 years. On a Friday the 13th. 13 minutes from midnight. Luckily, the spell book automatically records the last time the spell was cast. It was cast on February 13, 1998. The closest time I could cast the spell was April 13, 2018. It was just over a year away. I couldn't keep Fluttershy here, not in this world but I didn't want our life together to end so quickly. I chose a different date... July 13 2018. Yes... that day. It would give me a few more months with her. I just hope I would find her soon. I needed to apologize to her. I needed to see her again. Plus, I needed to send her back to her own world. She was technically supernatural, so the spell should work. Though it pained me, I knew it was right. Our worlds are just not meant to merge. Look what happened to us...
Its been 2 more days. I've given up trying to find her. She's gone, I told myself. And you have no one to blame but yourself. I started putting myself down pretty harshly. But I deserved it all. After a while, I decided to take a walk. To that tree on that hill. I opened my front door, slammed it, and locked it, shoving the key in my pocket as I started walking. People waved to me as I passed. I didn't wave back. I was too lost in my thoughts.
It took a while to reach the tree, but finally I sat down with my back on the tree, looking out at the same beautiful scenery. But something was missing. It wasn't as beautiful as I remembered. I looked down to my left at the patch of grass, usually occupied by Fluttershy. I brushed my hand across it, remembering things from the past. Tears sprung up once more in my eyes, and for once I didn't try to hide them. I let them fall. And they fell, disappearing into the grass and the dirt.
Crack.
Forgiveness, Love, and a Gift
I heard a twig or stick crack, and I looked left and right for the source. Nothing. I laughed a little as I remembered one of my favourite Fanfictions, My Little Dashie. The similarities between that story and my life stuck out. But especially the bit when Dashie had flown away, having finally found out about her past. Her father had looked for her for three days, then had rested against a tree on the third day to shelter from rain. He heard a crack of a stick and Dashie had returned. Then they made up. That story was amazing. The author was a genius, a great writer. He described it amazingly. However, nothing could prepare you for the real thing. I looked up, and clouds had started to mass and turn dark grey. I laughed a little bit. It was about to rain, once again similar to My Little Dashie.
I didn't move though. I just sat, tears still coming down my face. Why was I even out here? I knew Fluttershy wouldn't come back. She hadn't for days. Why now? I took out the picture of me and Fluttershy once more. I looked at it. My thoughts found voice. A sad, cracking voice, overwhelmed with sadness.
"I'm sorry Fluttershy. So sorry... I wish you were here. I wish you could forgive me."
Without crumpling it, I threw the picture away. The wind had picked up only a few minutes before, and it grabbed the photo and sent it away. I didn't watch it go. It was just too hard.
I sighed and lent back on the tree. What now? I knew what I was going to do. It brought me no joy at all. Killing myself wasn't the way out. But it seemed to be the only option. I was about to stand up and head back home to do the deed, when I heard a soft flump to my left. I looked. There, beside me, was the yellow mare. I stared, not believing what I could see. She was... back? She certainly was. She looked fine, a few small sticks in her hair and her coat was a little dirty, but that was all. More importantly, she looked real, not like the frail mental pictures of her my mind had conjured up in her absence. I forgot how beautiful she looked. My heart leapt. But then I realised she was distancing herself from me emotionally. She was still scared of me. I wanted to hug her, but I stopped myself. It was too early for that. She wasn't looking at me, but something was held in her hooves. I tried to make out what it was. She passed whatever it was across to me. I realised what it was immediately. The picture of me and her, leaning on the very same tree we were on now, the one I had just thrown away. I turned it over. There, on the back, were a few words, the mouth writing I recognised.
I forgive you, and I love you.
-Fluttershy
I stared at this message. She forgives me. I couldn't believe it. After all I did, she still forgives me. I smiled. I read the message again, and pondered about what she meant by "I love you." What kind of love? I studied her body language for a few seconds. I had gotten good at this. I noticed her blushing and how she tried to move away from me nervously. Her body language confirmed what I thought. She loved me, in the 'more-than-friends' way...
I grabbed a pen out of my pocket and started to write. After I had finished the message, I tapped her on the shoulder and slid the message across to her. It now read:
I forgive you, and I love you.
-Fluttershy
Fluttershy, I've missed you. My life was, and will be, meaningless without you. Your forgiveness to my actions is all that I wanted. And you have forgiven me. Fluttershy, I will never, as long as I live, yell at you again. I love you too.
-Michael
She read the message. A few minutes passed. Then she dropped the picture. She turned to face me, and I realised that she had been crying as well, probably for days. Her eyes were all red and puffy. She threw her forelegs around me and started to cry. I placed one of my hands on her back, and with the other I stroked her hair, getting out all those small sticks. We remained that way for a while, and apologized to each other endlessly. After a while, rain started to hit us. I helped her up, and we started walking back to my... no... our home. It's her home as much as mine now. The rain was pouring down, thick and fast, but we walked no faster nor slower. We savoured this time together, walking through the rain. Once we got back home, I dried Fluttershy off with a towel. That made her coat stand on end, and that made us laugh. I had missed Fluttershy's laugh. So sweet and delicate, it was music to my ears. I brushed her coat and soon it was back to it's normal state. I said "Goodnight" to Fluttershy, and she replied with "Goodnight" as well. Then she went into her room; I went into mine. I didn't get into bed. I lay on top of it. I was thinking about today, all that had happened. It was too good to be true, but it was. Fluttershy was back in my life. What's more... she loves me. I can't say I don't love her, but it's a little weird, even by my standards. How can I say to my friend that me and Fluttershy are in love? I laughed quietly, closing my eyes in relaxation. I didn't feel tired, the day was filled with so much emotion and discovery for me to be sleepy. Just as I felt the persistent pull of sleep, my door opened.
Fluttershy stood in the doorway. I looked at her, without moving my body from its position. Her appearance in my doorway at this moment troubled me. As soon as I gave the mare her own room, all those months ago, she never came in this room once we said our goodnights to each other. Unless it was something important. And that had happened only once, when she had a nightmare. I looked at her with confusion. Fluttershy jumped off the ground and onto my bed, looking at me with those large aqua-coloured eyes that had seen so much. She lay down next to me and placed her head on my chest, just below my heart, her body heat warming both my side and my heart. I was stunned, but my brain somehow told my body to tell my arm to place it around her protectively, which it did. She looked up at me, smiling. God dammit... my heart exploded again, and I was sure Fluttershy heard it this time. I laughed inside myself at my own joke, and looked back into her eyes. We stared at each other lovingly for so long. Then, she closed her eyes very slowly. When they finally slid closed, she shifted her position slightly and let out a slow exhale. Her breathing slowed, and I knew she heading off to sleep. I lent in and kissed her on the cheek.
"Goodnight Fluttershy." I whispered.
I saw her smile as sleep finally overcame her. The slow inhale and the sharp exhale started up, exactly the same as it had always been. Always the same. I started to stroke her coat. I couldn't stop smiling. I had a fricking cute pony asleep with her head on my chest. How would that not make any brony smile? To top it off, the pony was Fluttershy. Fan Favourite Pony in the Hub online poll, Element of Kindness, my favourite pony, and undoubtedly the most cutest pony ever. I closed my eyes, savouring this moment which had latched itself to my head, forever embedded in my memories. Sleep finally came for me, but I didn't leave Fluttershy. I still dreamt about her. Me and her just sat down, by that tree, on that hill, just watching the world move through time. Then we looked at each other, and our lips were close. We moved towards each other, but before we could kiss, my vision turned white and I was placed in a new dream. One completely devoid of Fluttershy. I didn't mind. When I woke up, I knew I would have the real thing, not a mere image.
I woke up. My heart exploded instantly as I saw Fluttershy still with her head on my chest, just below my heart. She was still sleeping, breathing in and out the exact same cute way she always did. I started to smile, but then realised what I had to tell her and my face fell. She had to leave this world. Be with her own kind. But now, it would be ten times more difficult to send her back, due to our love for each other. I decided I would give her a gift this afternoon, before giving her bad news the same day. I wanted to move off my bed, but the thought of awaking Fluttershy kept me stationary. About 30 minutes passed before she awoke. She sat up and stretched. Then without warning, she jumped onto my chest, looking at me with the same large eyes. I was just glad she was light weight.
"Good morning." Fluttershy spoke.
"Morning Fluttershy."
The morning passed quickly. We ate breakfast. She kept on making me do things for her, like brushing her coat and getting her food, and more. I knew she wasn't using me, I knew her too well. She was just exacting a little bit of revenge on me. I deserved it, but frankly, I would do anything for the yellow angel. When the afternoon rolled by, I took Fluttershy outside into some trees where I knew there were lots of birds.
"Fluttershy, I have two things I need to get done. Both of which involved you."
I saw the glint of mischievousness in her eye. Fluttershy has a mischievous side and I knew she was about to be sarcastic or overly dramatic. Sometimes both.
"Oh, whatever could these things be?" she announced, mimicking Rarity's voice and placing a hoof to her head. I laughed.
"Well, the first thing, is a gift to you."
Her ears perked up. I had got her attention.
"A gift?"
"Yes. Don't move."
I walked over to her and placed my hand on her coat, and started to speak a spell. My hands started to glow, and she she started to glow as well. She looked back at me, a touch of fear in her eyes. I smiled comfortingly.
"It's ok." I said.
That seemed to work. She smiled and closed her eyes. I finished my spell and my hands stopped glowing. She didn't though. She glowed brightly for several more seconds before the glow faded. She looked at me.
"What was that?" she asked.
"Hopefully it worked. It was a spell. To allow you to be seen and communicate with animals."
Her eyes widened. Having communication back with animals must have been a dream come true to her.
"Did it work!?"
"I don't know."
Suddenly a bird flew down the ground. I pointed at it.
"Try talking to it."
"Uh, ok."
She walked forward. "Ummm, hello?"
The bird looked around at Fluttershy.
"Uh, hi there!"
The bird chirped at her.
"Nice to meet you too." Fluttershy responded. I couldn't help but smile. Fluttershy can now once again communicate with animals. It must be like, rediscovering your special talent. Fluttershy must of felt exactly what she felt when she had discovered it all those years ago, right now. The bird tweeted a couple of times and Fluttershy looked back at me.
"Oh, that's my friend over there. He won't hurt you."
The bird flew towards me. My eyes widened and I held out my hand. The bird landed on it, hopping slightly. This felt amazing. I was holding a bird. It didn't look like much, but to me it was amazing.
"Hello." I said to it.
The bird seemed to understand me. It chirped a couple times, blinked and flew back to Fluttershy.
"He said "Hello" back to you." Fluttershy said.
For the next few hours, Fluttershy seemed to meet all the creatures in that small patch of trees. In the air, on the ground, all of them. I sat down, watching as she conversed with the animal life. After a while, she goodbye and flew down to me. She threw her forelegs around me.
"Thank you so much for this."
"No problem. The animals in this world take care of themselves, so you don't have to find food for them. But feel free to talk to them."
"Alright."
"So now, I've got something important to tell you."
"Yes?"
I sighed. I really didn't want to say this. But it was for the best.
"Fluttershy, I have to send you back to your own world."
Her ears dropped and she looked at me sadly. A cloud covered the afternoon sun at that moment, darkening everything.
"But I don't want to go. I want to stay here with you."
This made me feel terrible, but I had to say it.
"Fluttershy, you have to go back to your world. You don't belong here."
"I know I don't belong here. I belong with you."
My heart was breaking. I couldn't handle this.
"Fluttershy, I love you. But you have to go back to your friends and live in your own world. You are the Element of Kindness. Equestria needs you."
"I-"
I couldn't say any more. It was just too much.
"When?" she said, her voice brimming with sadness. "When will you take me back? Can you go with me?" Her eyes looked at me pleadingly. I couldn't look at the mare. I couldn't meet her sad eyes. This entire conversation seemed to be boring a hole into my soul.
"The 13th of July next year. That's when I'll send you back. As for coming with you..."
"You can't, can you?"
"No. As much as I want to, I can't go with you."
I really couldn't. I couldn't find a spell that allowed me to enter a new world. The teleportation spell would only teleport me or items to places I have been to. Obviously, I haven't been to Equestria. She placed one of her hooves on my shoulder, and with the other hoof, she gently moved my head to face her.
"Then, the only thing we can do is savour the time we have together." she said as she placed her head on my shoulder and sighed.
Two days later, strange things happened in my life. My job had gone under and they were moving out, but I didn't care. I had quite a bit of of money from making some very successful iPod games that I made in some spare time. The university had shut, due to renovation. Odd for a university, but they gave the students exam marks for how well they performed before hand. I got good marks. I was fine. I didn't care about losing my job or not having to go to uni. It just meant that I could spend more time with her. I heard of time speeding up when good stuff was happening so it passed in a blur. But time seemed to slow down. I think that time slowing down, plus my job going down and uni being renovated, was just life's way of telling me that I should spend every passing moment with Fluttershy. And I did. We played together. Laughed together. Ate together. We did everything together. Nothing was done alone. Apart from showers and 'nature calls', but everything else, we were inseparable.
The love between us was also apparent. We hugged each other, we cared for each other. We did romantic things together, like walking together and stuff like that. Nearly every night, we slept together, but by unspoken agreement, we never got... 'physical'. That was one of a few things we both didn't feel comfortable doing, so we never went there. We hadn't kissed yet. On the lips at least. I could tell she wanted to, but we were both so nervous. I just had to wait. In time, things would get less awkward. But now, I was happy. She was happy. And life seemed to want us together for as long as possible. I knew it would have to come to an end. But I didn't worry about that. I was living in the moment, with Fluttershy. Together. Always.
Tomorrow was her birthday. She was excited, but she didn't tell me her age for some reason. However, I think I managed to get it. Assuming that she was 16 when she entered my world, which I thought to be the most plausible age of the mane 6, including the year she had appeared in my world, she would be 21 years old tomorrow. 21. A significant age in my world. She didn't look 21, but then I reminded myself than pony growth cycles are different than humans. But I have noticed that Fluttershy has grown. She is taller than her appearances on the show at least. That at least calmed down my silly fear of her not ageing while in my world.
When we went to sleep together, I got out of bed and silently started decorating the house. Mostly with the colour yellow, but I used pink and aqua as well. Balloons, streamers. Simple stuff. I also made a cake. It turned out quite good. The last thing to prepare was the present. God, that was difficult to decide on. What do I get a cartoon pony? I only got her one present in the end. But she would like it. I'm sure of that. I silently got back into bed with her, and smiled at the sleeping mare. It past midnight. I placed my arm gently around her, and, still asleep, she turned over and snuggled up against me.
"Happy birthday Fluttershy." I whispered. She probably didn't hear me, due to being asleep, but I just felt like saying it anyway.
We woke up the next morning, and when Fluttershy saw the decorations, she started jumping around crazily. I let her jump around for a while, before calming her down and hugging her.
"Happy 21st birthday Fluttershy."
She stared at me with a small smile.
"How did you know I was 21?"
I smiled.
"Lucky guess."
We celebrated for a while, remembering everything that we had done together. I told her to follow me. I led her to my piano and I played 'My Immortal' by Evanescence to her. She loved it. We moved back to the living room and sat on the couch. Then I pulled out her present, neatly wrapped. She opened it. It was a book. She stared at me.
"You're not going Twilight Sparkle on me, are you?"
I laughed. "Look at the title."
She looked down at the book again. But, it wasn't a book. It was a ring binder. On the front of the ring binder. The title read: Fanfictions by AscendingAnthem. Yes, I had got her a ring binder, full of my Fanfictions. She actually has read some of them, and she liked them. She looked up at me. She hugged me.
"Thank you so much!"
"The best thing about it?" I said "When I write new Fanfictions, we can place them in here."
She opened the book. Inside were all of my Fanfictions, ordered neatly. She flipped through the pages, searching for a specific Fanfiction. She seemed to have found it, because she had started to read. I moved around and peaked over her shoulder.
"Polar Opposites, eh?" I asked.
"Oh, I do love a good romance." she said in Rarity's voice.
The next few hours were spend reading over my Fanfictions together. We took it in turns to read different characters. She once forced me to read as her. Good thing I have a good Fluttershy voice. After a while, I gave Fluttershy her cake.
"Make a wish." I said as I lit the candles.
She blew them out and I had wondered what she had wished for. However, I didn't ask her.
"Do you want to know what I wished for?" asked Fluttershy.
"If you want to tell me." I answered.
"I wished for nothing."
"Nothing?"
"All I want is to be here with you."
I smiled at her.
"Cute... but so cliché."
She looked at me in mock anger. That only doubled her cuteness.
"How dare you ruin this golden romantic moment!"
"Golden?" I said. "Like you?"
She let out a loud over-the-top exhale of frustration and pushed me off the couch we were sitting on. Then she leapt on me. We rolled around on the floor, giggling uncontrollably. We stopped, holding each other, me on the floor and Fluttershy looking down at me. We stayed that way for a while. For a second, I thought this would have been the perfect time to kiss. But, I did something else. I pulled her into yet another tight embrace.
"I love you." I said.
"I love you too." she replied.
My birthday rolled around very slowly that year. Even when time wasn't going slowly, it was slow in rolling around, due to it being in December. This birthday... it was better than all my other birthdays put together. Why? Because I spent it with Fluttershy. She had woken up early and decorated the entire house with help from her bird friends. As I saw all her hard work, I pulled her into a hug and didn't let go for a while. She had made a cake as well. She definitely had a little 'Pinkie-flair' in her. She didn't buy me anything, but I felt she already had. Her 'being here' was worth all the presents in the world. As we celebrated and Fluttershy planted a kiss on my cheek, I could help but feel that we only had 7 months left together. 7 months. And I knew I had to make it the best time of my life.
Christmas rolled around soon after my birthday. Fluttershy knew of Christmas because I told her about it, but had never celebrated it because it wasn't in her homeland. It was her first Christmas. I put up the old artificial tree with help from Fluttershy. She seemed really fascinated by all the decorations we could place on the tree, but the lights were her absolute favourite. She seemed hypnotised by them. She once just sat in front of the tree, gazing at the lights the whole evening. It was hilarious.
I told her not to worry about giving me gift, because she was a gift to me. She replied to this comment with a swift kiss on my cheek. However, I had to get her a gift. That was difficult. What do I get for a cartoon pony? It was the same dilemma that had happened on her birthday. I didn't know at first. It took me ages to figure it out, but it came to me. I got one of my friends who had gone into making jewellery when he left school, and I asked him to make a necklace. I told him exactly what I wanted. He finished my order just before Christmas Day. Wow, it was pretty high quality. I thanked him and left.
I went to sleep with Fluttershy next to me as always, hoping for a great day tomorrow. When I woke up, Fluttershy wasn't sleeping next to me. I went down to the living room, looked around, and what I saw made my heart stop, explode, the pieces of the exploded heart imploding, the imploded pieces reforming to form my heart, which exploded once more. Fluttershy was smiling mischievously at me. She had a red Christmas hat on, some of her mane was brushed in front of one eye, and she had some ribbon tied around herself, which ended in an expertly tied bow nestling right on her back.
I walked towards the mare, try not to fall over from the sheer cuteness that was Fluttershy. She spoke a sentence which I will never forget.
"You said I was a gift to you, right?"
We couldn't stop laughing for hours. We calmed down multiple times in between, but as soon as we looked at each other, we started laughing once more. When, finally, we calmed down, I pulled the ribbon off her. While I was doing so, I said this:
"It's what I've always wanted."
God, I wish I took a picture of her. But I think that the memory has burned itself into my brain. I got Fluttershy her present. She opened it. Her eyes widened. I think her heart exploded. She held up the necklace with shaking hooves. The necklace was a simple golden heart. The heart was engraved with a small picture of a smiling Fluttershy with equally smiling human putting his arm around her.
"This is- This is-". She could barely speak simple words. I smiled and pulled down the neck of my t-shirt. I had the same necklace. Her eyes widened even more. I took the necklace from her hooves and placed it around her neck. She looked at her new possession, then she threw her forelegs around me, with enough force to knock me to the floor. She looked at me, tears of joy coming to her eyes.
"I love you." she said with a trembling voice.
"I love you too." I replied.
I woke up with Fluttershy in my arms, exactly in the same positions we were in when we went to sleep. I sighed. Today was the day. A day I have been dreading for the past year and a bit. July 13, 2018. This day would be filled with more love than all the others, but also more heartbreak. We spent the entire day and afternoon together, not speaking much, just holding each other so hard that it might take a crowbar to separate us. Unlike all the others days I have experienced over the last year, this day went quick. Morning, afternoon, night, it all seemed to blur together.
It was 11:33pm. Fluttershy had gone out for one last fly around. I was sitting in my living room, having a look through my spellbook once more. Just for fun. I was about halfway through when something caught my eye. Large letters spelt, "Appearance Spell.". I couldn't believe how I missed this before. The words were so large and obvious. I don't know how I couldn't of seen it. I must of read this book hundreds of times. But here it was. A spell I didn't notice before. A spell that caused invisible objects to be revealed to all people in a 5 metre radius. I dropped the book. My mind was racing. Fluttershy was technically an 'invisible' object. My mind already formed a plan. I picked up my phone and dialled my friend. He picked up on the fifth ring.
"Yeah?" he asked.
"If you want to see Fluttershy, get to my house now."
"What? Now? Do you know what time it is?"
I checked my watch.
"Yes. 25 minutes from midnight. 11:35pm Just get over here now!"
"I'll be over in a few minutes. This better not be a prank or I swear I-"
I slammed the phone back on its hook, cutting him off. If he came, then he could see Fluttershy before she had to leave. Then he would know for all these years that I wasn't lying. Plus, he would be able to see his favourite pony. I could only imagine his expression when he saw her. I picked up the book and checked the spell. It wasn't that hard at all. I memorised the spell just as Fluttershy flew back in.
"How was your flight?" I asked.
"Same as usual." she replied.
"I've called my friend. He's coming over to see you."
"See me? You said that no one apart from you could see me."
"Another spell." I replied simply. I checked my watch again. 11:40pm. "Come on. Lets get ready."
She nodded. I cleared a small space in the living room, which I knew I should have done before. I lit some candles. The book had specified that at least three candles be lit in the room when casting the spell. I lit 5. One for each year she had been in my world. I turned off the lights, then Fluttershy and I sat down in the center of the room. These candles were really good. I could see the entire room with the light from the flickering flame. I checked my watch once more. 11:42pm. 5 minutes left. I didn't need to check my watch all the time. I already had set my watch alarm to 11:47pm. The time I had to cast the spell. But I liked checking my watch. Fluttershy had two things with her. The collection of my Fanfictions and the necklace. I still didn't know if they would go back with her to her world. I hope they did.
"This is it." Fluttershy said. "Our last moments together."
I nodded. "This last year and a few months have gone slow for me. But I enjoyed that."
"Because you got to spend time with me?"
I nodded and we both laughed. Her laugh was still the same lovely laugh I heard when I first talked to her. I remember back to the trashed kitchen.
"Yeah... more time with you."
I then grabbed her right hoof, holding it in both my hands.
"Fluttershy, I want you to know." I felt tears running down my face. "This past year and a few months have been the best time of my life. Before you came into my life, it was meaningless. I was just living one day through to the next. I wasn't living life. And, when my family died, and you revealed yourself to me, I started to live again."
Her eyes were also filling with tears.
"For months afterwards, I had something I never really ever had. Someone to listen to me. You certainly listened to me. And you found that tree on that hill, and I took that picture." I drew the picture from my pocket and held it up to her. "This one here." I replaced the picture back in my pocket. "We became close, you and I."
I trailed off and when I started to speak again I started to choke up, but I pushed myself to continue.
"Then, when my brother died, I did the unforgivable. I made you cry. And you ran away."
She was openly crying now. Tears leaked out of her eyes and down her face. Her soft, beautiful face. I let go of her hoof and lightly grabbed her shoulders.
"That was the worst time of my life. I could never forgive myself for what I did, and I never expected you to either. Days passed, and I had a hole in my soul. One that I knew could only be filled with you."
I couldn't continue for a few seconds. And then I found my voice.
"So I went to the tree. I had given up looking for you. I threw that picture away. I didn't deserve your love. So, I was about to leave when I heard something land next to me."
She was smiling now, tears still coming down her face.
"I couldn't believe my eyes. But you had returned. And you had the picture I threw away. You passed the picture across to me, and I read what you had wrote on the back."
I pulled the picture out once more, turned it over and read.
"I forgive you, and I love you. -Fluttershy. That's what you wrote. So I wrote back. Fluttershy, I've missed you. My life was, and will be, meaningless without you. Your forgiveness to my actions is all that I wanted. And you have forgiven me. Fluttershy, I will never, as long as I live, yell at you again. I love you too. -Michael. You gave more than I wanted, more than I deserved. Your forgiveness. But you also made me find something very special."
She wiping some tears out her eyes with her hoof as I said this.
"I found my love Fluttershy. You. You and I, together. We returned home together that night, in the rain. You came into my room and laid your head on my chest. And man, what a feeling. The day after, I gave you communication with animals, something you could freely do in your world, but was impossible in mine. And afterwards, I told you I had to send you back to your world."
She looked down at the ground, tears still coming out of those eyes.
"It was a hard choice for me to make. Especially after you had confessed your love to me. But it made that year and a few months we've lived together all the more special."
I touched the necklace around her neck. The same one I had given her for Christmas. The same one I had around my neck. I touched her chin and moved her face up so it was level with mine. My small green eyes met her large aqua ones. I moved my hand from her chin, and caressed her cheek. She closed her eyes at my touch. I leaned in and kissed her lightly. Her eyes flew open. In surprise? Or was she about to use 'The Stare' on me? However, she closed her eyes again and returned the kiss. For several moments, we kissed, and for a guy who had never been kissed by a girl before, this was paradise. I knew then that I could never love anyone more than I did Fluttershy. The beauty of my own species quailed in comparison to the mare I was kissing. My hands found the back of her head and I started pushing it lightly, deepening the kiss. I felt her hooves do the same to the back of my head. It would be the first and last time we ever kissed.
The door opened behind me. I stopped kissing Fluttershy and we laid our foreheads against each other. I saw a tear falling down her face. I wiped it aside and looked out of the corner of my eye I saw my friend standing in the doorway. He was looking at me with a surprised expression on his face.
"Did you- Were you just-" he struggled to get the words out. He shook his head a couple of times and took several deep breaths.
"Did you just kiss-" he started. I silenced him with quick flick of my hand. I turned my attention back to Fluttershy. I started to slowly brush her long pink hair with my hand. I checked my watch.
11:46pm.
"Fluttershy, it's time for you to go."
I saw my friend rolling his eyes, but I didn't care. Cliché sayings aside, it was the truth. I moved so I was kneeling to the left of Fluttershy. I placed my hand gently on her soft coat and spoke a few lines of ancient dialect. There was a flash of light, followed by the familiar drain of my energy, and I looked at my friend. His jaw dropped. He fell to his knees and basically crawled over to the yellow mare, his hand extending out, reaching for her hoof. He took it; Fluttershy smiled at him warmly. His expression was one of many emotions. Shock, awe, wonder, happiness, relief and more noticeable, sadness. He looked up at me, tears forming in his eyes.
"Do you have to?" he said, voice barely more than a whisper.
I nodded, barely having the strength to speak. I understood his pain. Fluttershy was his favourite pony, and, for the past few years, I have been seeing her almost daily. Not only that, but she loved me. My friend had only just seen her, realised her true existence, and now she had to go... It was unfair, but it had to be done. I heard a noise. My watch alarm had gone off. I placed my other hand on Fluttershy's cutie mark and continued speaking. The unrecognisable words flowed from my mouth without fail. My hands grew warm and started to glow. Fluttershy also started to shine; a brilliant yellow light emanated from her, filling the darkened room with light. I finished my spell and looked at Fluttershy. She looked back, smiling sadly. Then she caught me off guard with a hug. She was warm; nice and soft to hold. I could feel her heart beating, slowly and steadily inside her. She whispered in my ear, a small quavering voice.
"Don't forget me."
She started to glow brighter now, and her time on this world was shortening. She had grabbed the Fanfiction ring binder. I then realised. I hadn't written any Fanfiction for over a year. I held her and whispered back.
"I won't. Don't forget me either."
"I won't. I'll write to you."
We both laughed, but we both knew we wouldn't see each other again. And we both knew she couldn't write to me.
"I'll write back. As soon as I get your letter."
"Goodbye." she whispered.
The small room blazed with yellow light. Fluttershy started to disappear. Fading out of existence. With a burst of light, she was gone, leaving nothing behind but a few pink butterflies, which flew around the room for a while before dissipating. The Fanfictions and the necklace weren't there as well. Good, they had gone back with her. My friend looked at me, and I looked back at him; a moment of understanding passing between us.
"So... you really weren't lying after all..."
"Yeah."
I stood up and helped him to his feet. He turned on the light.
"I thought you had gone crazy. Maybe even passing into insanity." he said.
"I'm not crazy or insane." I said defensively. I looked at the expression on his face, and knew what he has thinking. "Well..." I continued. "Maybe a little. But so are you. You can't deny that fact." We laughed. After a while, my friend looked straight at me, confusion flitting about on his face.
"Why did you send her back? You always said that having Fluttershy in real life would be amazing. So, why let her go?"
"She didn't belong here." I started. "You haven't been seeing her over the last few years. She was out-of-place in this world. She couldn't communicate with anyone, even with animals for a few years. Luckily I helped her out with that."
I walked over to a large window and looked out at the silhouettes of the trees, slightly swaying in the wind.
"It was for the best. This world is dying and it's full of terrible people, who do terrible things. This world is no place for a beautiful cartoon pony." I finished.
My friend put a hand on my shoulder.
"Do- Do you think Fluttershy loved you?"
"Obviously. She cares for everyone. That's her nature. She is the Element of Kindness after all."
"That's not what I meant..."
I sighed. When I said nothing, my friend continued.
"You were kissing Fluttershy when I entered weren't you? I just saw you kissing air. I saw you place your forehead against air as well. That was Fluttershy the entire time wasn't it?"
I nodded. My friend still wasn't done.
"The amount of emotion put into those last few moments... obviously she cared about you. More than the usual creature, I'd say."
I turned around and stared at my friend, who took a step backwards instinctively.
"All the facts point towards it." my friend continued.
I silenced him with a glare. I already knew. I just didn't want to talk about it... not much anyway.
"Fluttershy loved me. That only made our separation harder."
I didn't want to talk any more. I started to walk towards the door. My friend blocked my path.
"Did you love her?"
I pushed him to the side and opened the door. As I went through it, I looked over my shoulder at him. I pulled out the photo of me and Fluttershy and threw it over to him. He saw the picture, then turned it over and read the messages on the back He looked at me, and for once, I couldn't make out what he was thinking and feeling.
"What do you think?" I asked as I turned around and walked away.
My life will never be the same again. My family... dead. My life... terrible. It's been two years... two years since that situation. My friend calls everyday... he's supportive, but he can't feel the pain I feel. I can't go to sleep without shedding a tear over my dead family. It will a long, dark road to recovery. But in the ever-present darkness of my life, there will always be the yellow mare, who entered my life and changed it completely. Every time I see Fluttershy on the show, my heart leaps and I can't help but smile and think about the mare who was real, and who I helped return to her world. Her bright, colourful happy world; direct contrast to my own.
I can still feel it, you know... The tingle of Fluttershy's lips on mine. The tingle of the first and last kiss we shared. Its been 2 years since I sent her back to her world. My life hasn't improved much. People still believed I needed help, due to my family... Multiple therapists haven't been able to help me. After a while, I stopped going and seeking help entirely. I didn't really need it, as I was fine on my own for now. I've been watching My Little Pony over and over, looking at Fluttershy more than every other pony, imagining how she must be feeling right now. I wondered if she even remembered me. I hope she did, but I know that I can never communicate with her again. She was in a completely different world, maybe even in a different dimension to mine. I've looked for some sort of communication-like spell, but found nothing. So, here I sit, watching My Little Pony and thinking about life in general. Just a usual day for me. I pulled out the picture. Amazingly, it still didn't have any creases or marks on it, and the messages were just as readable as the day the were written. I read the messages once more, and then I put the picture back in my pocket, and then touched my necklace. The same necklace that I wore on Christmas Day 2 years ago and everyday since. The same necklace that hopefully still dangled around Fluttershy's neck.
Then, quite unexpectedly, a bright flash of white light blinded me. I threw up my arms in front of my eyes. When the light disappeared, I saw something floating in front of me. I blinked a couple times to clear my vision. It was a scroll, just like the ones that Twilight Sparkle and Princess Celestia use to send messages to each other. I stretched out a trembling hand and plucked the scroll out of the air. I unfurled it and started to read. As I read, I started to smile as I recognized the mouth writing. I ran out of the room once I had finished and grabbed a pen and some paper. I started to write. Once I had finished, I followed the instructions included in the scroll.
I placed my hand on the paper and muttered a few words. The paper disappeared. I sat down on the nearest chair and waited. A few minutes later, another bright flash of light appeared, with another scroll floating in mid-air. I grabbed it immediately, unfurled it, and started to read. I smiled.
My life is about to get a lot better.
She found a way to communicate with me again.
I have a pen pony.
Author's Note
Thanks for reading!http://www.fimfiction.net/story/143515/seeing-yellow-the-return
