Chapters Twilight Sparkle Strips for the Children
It was one of the busiest days in all of America, which is very odd considering that this story takes place in Ponyville, Equestria. However, this does not take from the point that it was a very busy day. All of the ponies in this quaint town were preparing for one of the great many events that happen to occur in this town, at least ever since that nerd unicorn moved in. This particular event however was of a better nature than simply heralding the arrival of the princess who is always mysteriously absent when a horde of dragons started to invade or a plague of ravenous insects started to ravaged the town. Instead, this event was a charity for those disadvantaged colts and fillies who were often the victims of tragic events that seemed to happen much more often.
As mentioned, all of the ponies in ponyville (and possibly ponyland depending on your view) were pre-occupied with the preparations of the charity event. The adults all managed their tasks accordingly, where the town baker took care of the decorations, a pony called Bon Bon was tending to the plants, and the mayor was actually doing work. Even the young children and infants did their best to help out, which coincidentally involved them staying on the side of the roads and not getting in anypony’s way. Without compare this was one of the most productive days in Equestria.
“What do you mean we have no entertainment?!”
In all fairness, Equestria is not a particularly productive place.
“What happened to the clown?” Continued Twilight Sparkle, who raised a disconcerting eyebrow to one of the ponies who had informed her of the bad news.
“She changed professions and became an engineer so as to invent the automobile so that she could do that many clowns stuffed into a car gag.”
“And what about the circus animals?”
“They all quit until they could arrange an agreement for their health benefits, so they’re in mediation with the ringleader.”
“And the hypnotist? Please for the love of everything say that we still have the hypnotist.”
“Oh, we do. But it turns out that the hypnotist the whole time was both the clown and the ringleader. She apparently tricked herself to think she was both. Turns out the ad we took up was out of date.”
“Ugh!” Twilight shouted in frustration, burying her face in her hooves. “How could this day get any worse?”
While one might think that this would serve as an invitation to all manner of chaos to wipe it’s feet, take a load off, and just start monkeying about with the controls to the universe in relation to the pony who would dare utter such words, they would be wrong. Jeff isn't at work today. However a much more unpredictable force from unknown origin just so happened to be lurking nearby.
In a moment a gust of pink, streamers, and candy burst from the shadows before settling to form a being whose mere existence defied the sense of sentient comprehension, more so than a world full of colorful horses with tattoos on their rear ends. And of course, like any abominable scourge that does not quite “exist” but just so happens to be here, it spoke.
“What, no entertainment?!” And while it should be expected that this creature who goes by the moniker of Pinkie Pie would naturally be all-knowing and pop out of nowhere, it still made Twilight and the bearer of bad news leap backwards. “Well what are we going to do with the stage I had set up?”
“I suppose we’ll have to just go on without it.” Said Twilight, who shook her head in dismay, while silently praying that Pinkie Pie would not exacerbate the situation.
“An event like this without entertainment would be like a birthday without cake or a fanfiction without shipping! It’s just not the same! But don’t worry, I have an idea! Quick, follow me!” And with that she was gone, leaving behind a trail of lollipops, balloons, and cupcakes, although her destination was probably obvious as the trail led straight to bakery.
Twilight Sparkle Strips for the Children
According to Aristotle, one of the principal goals one must have is to gain a simple appreciation for something while not over-indulging, for to engage in an excess is immoral. If this is true, then Pinkie Pie is Hitler. The inside of Sugarcube corner was covered wall to wall with banners, streamers, and for some reason vanilla syrup, or at least one would hope it’s vanilla. And while the majority of the space in the building was often filled with furniture that would normally be found in a restaurant, it was replaced with a large stage jutting from the serving counter which culminated at a point topped with a circle. Pinkie Pie, naturally, was setting up a pole in the middle of the point so that it was equidistant from all the sides of the end of the stage.
“Oh, you made it! For a second there I thought you got lost or assaulted by a roving band of misfits or baked into a cupcake, but I am so glad that you’re here now!” And with that she jumped from the stage, forgot that the key to flying is avoiding everything on the ground, and landed on top of Twilight.
Dazed, Twilight regained consciousness some time later and looked at her friend who was standing over her with a grin from ear to ear. Normally this would be concerning, but these are not normal circumstances so instead she was unamused.
“Pinkie Pie, before you try and use me as a trampoline again, what was your plan?” Said Twilight as she slid out and righted herself back onto her four legs.
“Oh, that! Well you know my cousin once removed, right? No? Well anyways it turns out that she made a bunch of movies and is one of the best entertainers in all of Equestria! So I thought maybe you could just do what she does and something good will happen!”
“I see. Just one problem, why me?”
“Oh!” This question did not actually catch Pinkie Pie off guard, but rather she had to keep up appearances so nobody would be able to accurately understand her true omniscience. “Well you see, Rarity is busy making clothes, Applejack is baking treats, Rainbow Dash is making the weather as clear as possible, Fluttershy needs to oversee the petting zoo, and I will be busy making sure everypony is having fun!”
Twilight began to perspire audibly, before she finally found her excuse. “But if you’re in charge of making everypony enjoy themselves, then shouldn’t that mean that you should do this?”
“Sorry Twilight, but I made a promise to my family to never follow in the footsteps of that relative. Or rather, they made me promise. I don’t know why but it looks like she was having fun doing what she did.”
Princess Sparkle sighed in defeat and accepted her task, as it was her duty to make sure to raise as many funds for the children as possible. “Fine, let’s get this over with. Which cousin were you talking about?”
“Oh, that would be Cream. I don’t know why but everypony in my family seems to disapprove of her. I think their all being kinda silly, I mean nopony can be all that bad. Anyways, follow me!” And so the pink pony quickly led the lavender alicorn along the interior of the building up to the attic. And as with all attics, there will be fun.
Even though the attic had no part of the charity, the small room above the bakery was adorned with festive lights and contained an inordinate amount of confetti that carpeted the floor and towers of stacked sugary drinks, which all reasonably led Twilight to believe this place was used for storage before everything was being used. However what was most out of place and dissuaded this thought was a projector that was pointed at a disturbingly blank wall. One one side of the projector there was a stack of film reels and on the other side was an antique wooden wheelchair that may have been used by a hare-lipped bodybuilder to shuffle pensioners around.
“Oh, silly me. Sorry, I had someone else over for a party.” Said the Pink Pony who kicked the chair over to the other side of the room. Twilight moved and sat in its place and watched as her friend took glancing looks at the titles of the movies before tossing them aside. “Larry The Cable Guy visits Ponyville? Nah! How to Preen your Chicken? Nope! Lauren Faust’s Mystical Journey into the land of Tramp Stamp Horses? Uh uh! Rainbow Factory?” She said, thinking to herself before gently setting it aside. “Not this time.” And she continued in this fashion before coming to the second to last reel which she held aloft. “Finally! Here it is! Two Ponies, a Stage, and a Dream. This was the art film that led her to become a star, oh I can hardly wait!”
Twilight couldn’t help but smile as her friend set up the projector, but still she shook her head guessing that Pinkie Pie was back to sampling the party favors again. Soon enough, the projector was ready and Pinkie Pie took a seat next to the other viewer, produced a bowl of popcorn from the ether, and sat it between them as the movie began to play.
Both ponies sat attentively as they viewed the screen which showed a stage very similar to the one beneath them though clearly in a different locale with worse lighting. Soon, music began to play and a pony who clearly was a relative of Pinkie’s burst onto stage and began to dance with great energy and passion. After a while, the music cut and the pony returned backstage. And at this point the camera began to follow the unnamed actress as she entered into her private room, but was abruptly cut off as Pinkie turned off the projector. “And that’s about all you need to see. Do you think you got it?”
“Pinkie, I don’t think there was a single thing in that video that did not offend me. Why did you show me this?
“Well it was either this or a Stallion Film, but I don’t think that we can get away with anything that was done there. But trust me, this will work out.”
“Look, I’m sure you think this is a good idea but you’re wrong.”
“We’ll make a hundred bits, minimum.”
By no means should it be implied that Twilight is a pony of ill repute willing to do vile things for money. But she did say “Well, I suppose since it’s for the children, I’ll do it.” Which provoked a leap of joy from Pinkie who forgot to miss the ground again and ended up prone on the floor of the attic.
“Yippee! Now let’s go get you something to wear for the show!” And with that, Pinkie Pie led Twilight along a merry chase to Rarity’s clothes shop.
Author's Note
A Stallion Film = A Serbian Film.
Twilight Sparkle Strips for the Children
The Carousel Boutique is perhaps one of the most outlandish landmarks in ponyville, if only if because the majority of Equestrian citizens are principally nudists. Regardless, it seems to make enough business to keep the pony who ran the establishment well off with regards to cloth and gems so as to make more gaudy clothing than the confines of the building may contain. And of course, the artist of this textile facility was hard at work, slaving over making simple garments to make the disadvantaged youths look presentable enough to request an extra serving of gruel. At least until she was rudely interrupted by her manic friend who appeared in the room followed shortly thereafter by the newfounded royalty.
“Pinkie, darling!” Rarity said, startled though remaining composed enough to ascertain the situation. “I had three locks on the door this time, how did you ever get in?”
Pinkie Pie just stared at Rarity with one eyebrow raised, as though begging the question of how did she not make it past just three locks. For how could three locks hold back the relentless force of the Pinkie? Nevertheless, Pinkie decided divulging into this line of questioning would only support the ignorance that backed it. “Anyways, we need you to get something for Twilight to wear. She’s going to be providing entertainment.”
“I’m sorry but I’m quite busy. I don’t think.” She would have continued but she was quickly set upon by Pinkie who grabbed the precise unicorn and shook her violently and then proceeded to yell in her face, mussing up the ever so meticulously cared for hairdo. “It’s for the children, just do it!”
Tears welled in the corners of Rarity’s eyes as she knew that at any moment anything could happen, and so she could only agree because of the implication. Pinkie knew compliance was inevitable as the implication worked on boats out at sea as well. And so they both approached Twilight and Rarity begun to take her measurements. “Ah, well aside from minor alterations because of the wings I think I can manage. What was the entertainment going to be?”
Twilight replied, shifting uncomfortably as she confessed “Dancing, I think. Pinkie showed me a movie of one of her relatives.”
Rarity gasped and was taken aback from this mention. “You mean she showed you that video? Oh darling, I never would have conceived you would ever see that, much less replicate that!”
“It’s for the children, what kind of princess would I be if I didn’t take the opportunity?”
“A much more modest one I believe. Anyway, I would like to think I have just the thing!” And in a flash the now energetic artist of the cloth quickly retrieved something from a close which was much bigger on the inside, as though it were a Thoroughly Antiquated Retainer Designed In Sense. When she returned she quickly slid a gown of some fashion onto Twilight. Twilight looked in the mirror and saw that it was near translucent yet was still visible enough that it cut off just shy of her haunches, with the stitching that fit so well so as to be nearly invisible, giving the entire garment an almost ghostly aura.
Pinkie Pie, whose many talents evidently included critique, was less than satisfied. “It needs to be spicier.”
Rarity quickly removed the cloth in a moment and soon it was replaced with one of a more pronounced crimson color striped with black and frills along the bottom edge which stopped around her midsection. This dress, or what was left of a dress, retained a collar which stood up and encircled the rear of Twilight’s head and it too was adorned with a lace pattern. And finally the ensemble was completed by the addition of socks matching the color scheme of the rest of the outfit capped by horseshoes of a solid black tone.
“Nuh uh, it’s not skimpy enough.” And with this single comment Twilight was stripped naked yet again.
Rarity decided that she had best concentrate her efforts and made certain that this choice would be the one. So she straightened her glasses, shook off the gremlins which plagued her thoughts who in turn ran into the walls to live with the rats and conspire plans on how to make automatic weapons, and mustered what little creativity she had left, and ketchuped it for good measure too. Unfortunately, being a colorful horse with a totally not dyed mane and magic, her best was all that they would be able to settle for.
With passionate fervor, Rarity indulged in her beloved masterpiece, it would be by no means her magnum opus in the field of fashion, yet what she would create is something that would be sure to achieve her goal. As such, she quickly strapped Twilight into a corset, tightening it beyond any comfortable means. The corset chafed and restricted Twilight’s already practically defunct wings, and it seemed that this device would choke the life out of her before she would reach the stage. Before she knew it Rarity was already hard at work managing a skirt around her waist, making all the necessary alterations to ensure that it stopped just short of effectively covering her rear. With a few additional accessories, an earing here and a stocking there, it was finished.
Exhausted, Rarity’s legs gave out from under her and she laid sprawled out across the floor. Pinkie on the other hand was only much more greatly ready to continue her scheme and quickly threw one of Rarity’s novel dresses which involved a gratuitous amount of crystals that made it the envy of Liberace over Twilight and ushered her back outside with a grin so wide that her head was practically split horizontally.
They arrived outside the Sugarcube Corner bakery, although Pinkie continued to lead Twilight along to the rear entrance. And after this small pilgrimage, they somehow found themselves in the attic again. However, considering this was Pinkie’s workplace it should be expected that it would follow the schematics of M.C. Escher. Regardless, Pinkie led Twilight to a door and carefully instructed her.
“Alright, this is it. When I open the door you come out and do your thing. Let’s do this!” She said, striking a pose of firing her fist into the air victoriously. And then she went through the door, entering into a den of vile darkness.
Author's Note
The true events of Rarity forcing Twilight into a barrage of rather distasteful outfits was cut. Quite frankly, and georgly as well, Rarity's taste in textiles is disgusting and rather gaudy.
Twilight Sparkle Strips for the Children
The room’s decorative status was not terribly changed from before, yet the ambiance was added to by the inclusion of a thick haze of smoke and the dimming of lights replaced with a vague hue of ever changing spectra. Gathered around the sides of the stage were a mess of ponies of various sizes, colors, creeds, and genders, all crowded to view the show. Ponyville’s own DJ had taken it upon herself to not be left out of the festivities and thus played a noise of vulgar tones and obscene lyrics that shuddered from the speakers, perverting the ears of all who were not deaf. And while the bakery typically had a vast assortment of delectable treats available for purchase, they were all removed and in their place was a complimentary buffet of food that was not fit for the dogs. Still, it probably would’ve gotten a twelve out of five compared to other strip clubs.
And into this den of vice and sin which harbors one of the most basest desires of the pony mind came the orchestrator of it all, Pinkie Pie, naturally. She entered halfway onto the stage and entered into her chaotic manner of speaking.
“Ladies and gentlecolts gather round, because tonight we have the one and only opportunity of a lifetime. You’ve all been great, so enough waiting. Here comes the one, and only, Twilight Sparkle!” And with this she bounded off the stage over the heads clamoring near it, forgot how to fly yet again, and crashed into a table. However, this did not dissuade the vision of the gathered ponies as they all kept their gaze fixed at the entrance to the stage.
And not a moment too soon, the star of the show came out in an elegant fashion that would comes with her royal title, as she walked onto the stage into the presence of an ever tensing crowd. She kept her head held high and eyes closed, ensuring that her appearance of royalty would be understood, and it certainly was because the room went quiet for a moment to marvel at such beauty. Everypony in the room was left aghast, jaws hit the floor in droves so fast they could have left craters. And in this moment, it was quite evident that Twilight was revelling in the attention.
Then the DJ played a new song that melded into the previous one, and Twilight took this as her cue. She cast aside the professional wear and demonstrated her more outrageous and bold outfit, much to the even greater surprise of the crowd. All this excitement, plus the titillating attire, all elicited a series of hoots and howls from the crowd in encouragement. There was a “Take it off!” and an “Aw yeah!” and one viewer went “Not my waifu, no!” and who was this humble performer to deny her crowd? Well, an alicorn princess, a genius, and somepony who’s bordering on being committed but still.
This provocation provided her with the confidence to go about the stage in a light canter, approaching the end and doing a small lap around the pole, looking at the crowd with one brow raised. She provided the crowd with a sign, a small grin, that they may interpret however they please. She braced herself against the pole with a hoof and raised herself to her hindlegs, doing another spin around it and throwing her head back as she kicked one leg upwards, gracing the crowd with a glint of her undercarriage.
This display of eroticism did not cease, as she continued to percolate the already bothered customers by releasing her grasp and sliding across the floor and stopping in front of the foremost viewer, keeping her hooves tucked under her. She provided the excited individual with a wink from one eye and quickly bounced back up to her feet, as her opponent fell back and was subsequently carried off, their spot filled with others itching for the same opportunity.
Her every move, every stride was made with clear deliberate intent to arouse. And arouse she did when she swayed her hips from side to side, tail swinging ever so slowly to bring a ginger breeze to those close enough. She continued this act as she made her way back to the pole and at which point she stopped and turned to face the majority of the patrons. With a lick of the lips, she blew a kiss into a rather general direction which nevertheless caused a few ponies to fight over it. Of course, this served as a distraction as she used her magic to remove her restricting corset and cast it aside, causing another band of newfound zealots to stare in awe as it landed upon some lucky pegasus’ face. No longer restrained, Twilight took her first deep breath and expanded her wings, and when she released the sound she made was recognized to be a moan of pleasure.
Twilight’s newfound freedom fueled her initiative, and fulfilled the desires of the crowd. She ascended the pole, riding along its length encouraging the phallic nature of the object as she strode it with her hind legs wrapped around it and climbed with her forehooves. She nearly reached the top, yet stopped shortly and slowly began to slide downwards. Her wings were erect and she let one of her hind hooves fly forward as she went along her smooth descent. Sweat glistened against her body and shone in the dull ever changing light. Finally, she landed and shook her mane from side to side, and looked back up at the crowd who were in a great state of excitement and were tossing coin onto the stage by the hoof full. Every deplorable action had culminated in this moment, and it did not disappoint. The DJ stopped the record and the satisfied alicorn retreated, with the same air of elegance that she had entered in, and left the building through the door she had came through.
Author's Note
This is perhaps the lowest point in my life, and I had some pretty low points.
Twilight Sparkle Strips for the Children
Back into the public eye, Twilight was again beset by Pinkie who came rushing up to her.
“You did great! Everypony loved it! I told you it would work!” Said the orchestrator of these events.
“Really? I thought it was a bit flamboyant.”
“Of course it was, silly! That’s pretty much the whole point of it! And thanks to you, those children are going to live easier lives for a long time. Oh, this is the best charity ever!”
“I’m glad to hear it. Well, I suppose we better clean the place up.”
“Aw come on, we still got a lot more work to do. If we made a huge pile of bits from just one show, imagine what we can do with two shows?!”
Even though the power of the pink one is renowned, Twilight stamped her hoof down and took a stance. “No, I will never do another show again. This was a one time thing that we will never speak of again, okay?”
“But the children!”
“Pinkie, you’re my friend, but the children have to learn to take care of themselves at some point.”
Pinkie allowed this challenge to her ambiguous authority to stand, and accepted this small defeat. “Alright Twilight, I won’t force you to.” Twilight nodded and took her leave, leaving the pink baker alone to ponder her thoughts. Unfortunately, the most pressing concept in the insanity ladled mind was “Welp, better find out where Fluttershy is.” and “So how much longer until the reader can stand up in public?”
Now why don’t you put a red headed step child in your shoe and beat it?