Psycho in a new world

"Casey. I got to go to work."

"Aw." My eyes where still closed but Redheart was trying her hardest to get out of my grasp.

"Come on! I can't be late! GA!" She rolled right off the bed with a thud.

"Redheart!" I went to jump out of the bed but the covers caught me mid air. "SHIT!" The wood floor was cold to my face. Working my way to my knees I could hear her laughing on the other side of the bed. I couldn't stop rubbing my nose, but I needed to get dressed. My shirt was done for, the rip on the back of it was massive. Sighing I tossed it to the side taking the magnum out of my boot. Looking behind me Redheart was fixing her bun and putting on her hat with a yellow rain coat. "Its sunny outside. Why do you need that?"

"The pegasus's are bringing a big storm later." Never taking her eyes off the mirror.

"Well howdy do." Tieing on my boots only to know I'm going to get soaked later. "Is there any place I can get some clothes at?"

"Carousael Boutique. A mare named Rarity lives there and she is good at what she does, and not bad looking." Trotting away from the mirror Redheart blew me a kiss and walked to the stairs. Listening I could hear her open the door and shut it behind her.

"Still need to tell her about the Luner army thing." Sighing I worked my way down stairs with my gun in the back of my pants. Getting to the light green couch I unzipped my dufle bag showing a large amount of bullets and a couple packs of cigars. Grabbing a box of 357 rounds and a box of .300 winchester magnum rounds, my cargo pockets were full. Getting a pack of cigars in my back pocket and grabbing the rifle I started out the door for my day. Turning around from the house I was face to muzzle to the pink spy.

"HI!" She showed her toothy smile.

"How did you know bout me and Celestia?"

"Pinkie sences. But don't worry I Pinkie promised!" She kept her smile.

"Well please keep it like that. Celestia was in heat and was not thinking sraight."

"I know!" Bouncing off, looking like she was flying.

Shaking my head I started off to Twilights to take care of some things. Walking through town was fun, evey pony looked like they had a party to go to. Some carring food others with stremmers. I could hear laughter in the distence from a lone pony but I couldn't point out which one. Shugging it off I kept on walking  while lighting a cigar.

"Hey!" Turning around A white unicorn with eletric blue mane and dark blue shades was running right at me.

"Can I help you?" Letting smoke fill the air.

"You must be the newest elite Luner guard."

"Elite? Who are you and what do you mean?"

"I'm DJ Pon3 or Vinal Scratch, and I was told your Luna's go to pony." I was lost to her words.

"Umm I guess. Did you need something?" She used her blue magic to revile her red eyes.

"I need a bouncer for a party I'm going to be throwing, and I was kind of hoping you would help me out." A light bulb went off in my head.

"How much are you paying?"

"Depends on how much we make. But no less than about 235 bits."

"Call me your new body guard than." Offering my hand to shake on it. "So when is it?" Her smile dropped a bit.

"Well its tonight. Dooring the storm." I stepped back removing my cigar from my mouth.

"Do you know where Redheart lives?" She gave me a nod. " I'll be there so you can get me any time but for now I need to have a letter sent to Celestia bout the Luner elite thing." Nodding again Vinal put on her shades and trotted away with a bounce in her step.

"Elite guard? How the hell did that happen? They don't even know my skills. And the hell is the diffrence in the two?!" Pushing my hair out of the way, placing the cigar back and kept walking. Clouds were slowly blocking out the sun with pegasus pushing them around. This place is wird, they control there own weather, don't eat meat, and are just like the horses back on earth. Plus I have been getting smaller but I think thats over. Twilight comes to my chest now, and Applejacks brother is a fucking beast.

'BOOM!'

The rain came down like nothing I have ever seen before. The first ten seconds I was soked from head to toe. Every pony had a coat or umbrella with them. Every once in a while a pony would offer cover but I didn't need it. Hell I needed a shower anyways, I fucking smell like a pigs ass. Taking the rifle off of my shoulder and aimming down the sights towards some wird dark woods. How I even got over here I don't know but I can't smoke and theres green eyes in there.

"Casey!"

"What?" Looking around me I saw no pony around. Shugging it off I turned back to the woods only to have the eyes come closer. "What the fuck is that?" Pulling the bolt back putting a new round in the camber in, slidding it back in place. The eyes got closer and closer, still behind a bush it would not come any closer. "Fuck it." Dropping the rifle I removed my magnum and started to the pair of eyes. The closer I got the louder the rain and a green glow became. Pulling back the hammer, I pointed the gun right on the edge of the bush.

"Can I help ya?"

"How did you know I was here?"

"I'm a top tracker, plus I could smell ya."

"I see."

"Who do ya work fer."

"Queen Chrysalis."

"Tell her to fuck off."

"She will be your queen soon."

"HA sure. Have fun, oh and next time I see your eyes. I'm shotting." The eyes turned away leaving me only to hear it breaking branches. Walking back to my muddy rifle I picked it up and walked back to Ponyville.

------Fancy white building.

"Be right with you!" The bell on the door didn't set right with me. Well It wouldn't matter she could hear me coming anyways.

"Thats fine, take ya time." Walking farther into the room there were horse manicans every where with fancy clothes on them. There was like two purple couchs and one purple chair for waiting custermers. Removing the rifle from my shoulder left a mud streak were the strap was. I just smeard it to thin it out.

"How can I help you...." Her purple eyes went wide at the sight of me.

Clearing my throught some. "I would like to aquire a new shirt and possably a suit for tonight." Me sounding fancy..... Thumbs up, well to me at least.

"Darling, you are a MESS!" Her squiky voice sounded like that little white unicorn.

"Thats not a problem. I just need the suit for a single job tonight, and being clean is the least of my problems." Slinging the rifle back on my shouder I stood stright.

"Well I guess, but you are a true mess." Her eyes went back to normal. "Please follow me." Listening to her I did what was told.

"This is a nice place ya got here miss Rarity." Putting back my natral tone only to see her wave off my coment. Walking past a curtian in the front room I was punched with diffrent suit types.

"What style would you like?" Suit after suit attacked me.

"Just a normal black suit with a normal tie. Thats all I can afford." My sight was darkend by suits.

"Nonsince! Price is not a problem Casey. Now a black suit with hmmm. How about a tie the matches your eyes! NO! Your hair!" She stopped with the suits and had her second fleet of color cloths come in.

"Blue tie is fine!" Every thing stopped, regaining posture I was than wrapped up in a yellow measuring tape.

"That will be all!" She pushed me to the front door with her magic. " I will have Sweetie Bell send it to you. Have a nice day!" Slamming the door in my face I was left in the rain once again.

"Great..." Sighing I made my way to Twilights place. Ponyville was clear of any life. It was sooooo peacful, no waving, no hi, no nothing.

------Tree house.

"Twilight ya home?" Knocking on the door sucked. My rifle wighed more and my pants were starting to fall due to the wight, and god for bid my hair would stay out of my face. Finally saying fuck it I tried to open the door with no progress. "Sorry Twilight I'm wet and getting cold some how." Stepping back I kicked at the door with the same response. "Well howdy do?" I pulled out my mugnum placing all six shots near the handle. After the final boom the door slowly came open. "Vilonce is the answer." Smilling I stepped in to see Spike hidding under the table and Twilight floating on the cilling.

"W-What w-was th-that?!" Smilling big I opened the cilinder letting the six casings hit the floor with tiny bings.

"A 357 magnum my dear Watson." Walking to the table I slamed the box of ammo down and proceed to load my gun.

"Is it magic?" Finaly working her way down to the floor.

"No. Just machanics." Spinning the cilinder I flipped it shut and sat it on the table. "I need to send a letter to ya princess."

"Can I ask about what?" I face palmed.

"Yes I'll read out loud."

"Hear you go!" Slamming a scroll and ink well in front of me with a qwill in his paw.

"Thanks. Now listen up."

            'Dear Celestia,

                                    How in the sam hell am I a elite luner guard with out you knowing my skills?

                                    I don't mean to be volger about this, but really.

                                    I'm pretty sure there are others more fit for this postion.

                                    And on this subject, what is the diffrence between the two?

                                    Ok never mind I could care less about that.

                                    Well send me a letter back speaking only of the army thing.

                                                          Your slave, Casey.

                                            PS. No one knows of what happend that night.

                                                     Just have your head stright next time we speak.'

"Ok how will this be sent?"

"What do you mean no pony knows what happend?"

"Nope." Rolling up the scroll and holding it to Spike,

"Ya know how this can get to Celestia?"

"Yea I do!" With pride he ripped the scroll out of my hands only to light it on fire.

"I don't even want to know." Grabbing my things and started to the door. "I'll fix that when I do this job."

"What job?" Not even caring to answer that I worked my way to Redheart's place to rest. The rain finally stopped and ponys was coming back out side. One cought my eye though. It looked like a cross breed of zebra and earth pony, he was dark blue with redish brownish mohawk for a mane. Right on his ass was a burning mushroom with a smile. Not knowing any better I figured why not meet new ponys.

"Grrr no thats not it." Throwing a green leaf to the side mubbling to his self kinda wanted me to know him.

"Howdy there." He jumped a little, must have spaced out.

"Can I help you?" Looking at him reminded me of well me, crazy.

"Names Casey."

"Fuse Clicker." He handed me a bottle that was kind of glowing. "Will you hold this?"

"Sure? What does it do?" He stood up from the ground and backed up slowly.

"I would recamend throwing it as far as you can." Before that could sink into my brain I was thrown 10 feet on my back into the soft mud. "ARE YOU OK?!" Every thing started to go black.

"W-what?" My eyes were heavy, my mind slowly shutting down.

"SOME PONY GE..... H...P..!" I blacked out not knowing what the hell just happend.