Spike's Bad Week

Spike’s Bad Week

Day One

Chapter Two: Citizen Spike

The interrogation chamber wasn't a torture room. The Griffon Kingdom was forced to abandoned most torture practices due to international pressure. That said the interrogation chamber wasn't a room for physical torture, however everything else was fair game.

Spike found himself strapped to a chair in the middle of a dark room. A bright light glaring over him, Spike had experienced a similar thing when Pinkie Pie had her mental break down and forced him to confess that he had used up all the hot water. But right now behind the lamp wasn’t a pink party pony but rather the silhouette of The Executioner. The griffon like being blended in with the shadows. The dragon shivered as he saw his two piercing eyes glare at him menacing like a hunter stalking its prey.

"You know what you did dragon. I have right here a stack papers reporting what happened yesterday. You can’t lie to me and whatever you say won’t change my opinion, so with that said, tell me what happened." The Executioner said in a cold calculated voice.

Spike gulped feeling drops of sweat trailing down his head. "I don't know."

"You don't know? Oh you don't know?! Are you saying you don't know what you what you did, are you taking me for an idiot?" the voice growled at him.

"I-I swear I have no idea on what happened-"

"Shut it!" The Executioner barked at him, “Don’t play stupid with me and don’t waste my time. I don’t like it when idiot’s waste my time.”

The shadow griffon pulled out a file of documents and threw it at the table in front of Spike, "I have everything recorded in these papers dragon. Now then tell me in your own words what happened."

Spike stared into eyes of his interrogator through the darkness glaring into his very being. "I don't know what hapend-" Spike stopped mid sentence as he felt intense light burn his eyes. The enraged griffon was focusing the lens at the dragon.

"Are you done playing stupid?" he growled at the dragon.

"Okay, Okay I’ll tell you everything I remember! I went drinking at a tavern and then I got drunk. I was wasted when I went walking out into the streets of Paris. I don’t know what happened, suddenly I, I was flying and then crashed downed. Last thing I remember was a bunch of angry griffons glaring at me." Spike confessed.

The Executioner paused for a moment as he analyzed what the dragon said. “So, why were you at the tavern?” he asked.

“Personal reasons, I don’t need to tell you. That has nothing to do to why I’m here.” Spike said puffing out his chest.

“On the contrary my dear dragon, it has to do a lot to why you’re here. First of all, why would anyone go to Paris to drink beer? Those cheeseheads are obsessed with wine and their beer tastes like crap. So I’m guessing that you must have gone to a griffon tavern, and most tourists don’t go to those places. So then dragon, tell me why you where you at the griffon tavern.” The Executioner asked with a shadowy grin.

“I-I had a bad day yesterday. It was supposed the highlight of the vacation where I confessed to the mare I’ve had my eyes on for years. It was supposed to be a romantic moment and then she said no. That’s why I went to tavern okay! Just-just wanted to go to place to drink my sorrows away.” Spike said as he lowered his head.

At first there was a smirk but soon The Executioner burst out laughing. The interrogation chamber was filled with the mocking laughter as Spike turned to look at the shadowy being that was relishing in his misfortune.

“What’s so funny about that?!” he screamed to his tormentor.

“You, you’re what’s funny, “his tormentor mocked.

 “You think that this is a joke? Do you think that I’m just a dog for everyone to just kick around just for your amusement?!”  The dragon indignantly questioned The Executioner.

“Yes and sit down and let me tell you why. This is the story of a little bitch that got rejected like a little bitch-“The Executor teased with vile laughter escaping his mouth.

“I-I… you can’t do this me! I have rights you know! I demand to speak to a lawyer!” Spike screamed to the shadowy griffon.

“I AM A LAWYER!” the voice replied.

“Wh-what?”

The lights flickered on revealing a simple gray room with few features. Spike that in the middle of the room in front of a table with a pile of documents. Across from him instead of the menacing silhouette of The Executioner was a rather lanky griffon dressed in a sharp suit and tie. His head was clean and preened and behind his glasses were his eyes reflecting a confident and amused attitude. Behind the griffon placed against a wall was another table stacked with many documents and folders.

“Yes Spike, I am a lawyer. Also everything I did was completely legal, welcome to the Griffon-Germane legal system dragon.” The Executioner said in a rather calm confident voice.

Spike was lost with words as he tried to comprehend what had just occurred. The griffon chuckled to himself as he walked behind Spike to undo the bindings of his chair. Spike stretched his arms in relief as he was able to move them freely.

“I have to admit that this has been the most fun I’ve had in awhile young dragon. It’s rare when the king allows me to have fun with a suspect.” The griffon spoke as he turned and picked up a file and began examining its contents.

“Who are you and how do you know my name?!” Spike inquired the lawyer with irritation lacing his words.

The griffon lawyer paid no attention to his tone as he continued to skim over documents, “Well how rude of me, I’ve forgot to introduce myself. My name is Axel Q. O’nner also known as ‘The Executioner’; I am the king’s personal lawyer and legal advisor. As for you Spike, you’re a dragon that’s in a heap of trouble with the crown.”

“But what did I do?”He asked the lawyer.

“Do you have any idea what happened last night?” Axel asked the dragon. Once seeing the dragon shake his head he returned to reading the document in his claws. “Fine I’ll tell you, last night while you were on your drunken escapade you managed to crash into the Royal Griffon Hotel in Paris. Be it the luck of the draw that in you happened to land onto the personal suite where the High King of the Griffon Kingdom happened to be staying at during his visit to Paris. I haven’t finished reading the full report but as so can see by the stack of papers behind me, I’ve got a lot of paperwork to go through because of you.”

“How bad is it?” Spike asked.

“Quite bad indeed especially since you’re being tried as a Griffin citizen.” Axel replied.

Upon hearing this Spike’s eyes shifted up as proclaimed, “But I’m an Equestrian citizen.”

The griffon lawyer chucked “You would think that wouldn’t you? Fine let me break it down to you Spike. Technically speaking you weren’t exactly born an Equestrian citizen, when you were hatched from your egg, you were considered to be more like pet. It wasn’t until you where three years old when the ponies finally realized you were intelligent being that you were upgraded to permanent resident status. “

The Executioner then placed a stack of documents in front of Spike before continuing, “They never really got around giving you citizen status, so for all these years you’ve haven’t been the citizen of any sovereign nation.  But don’t worry Spike I went through the paperwork with the king’s permission to fix that. Congratulations Spike as of this morning you are a natural born citizen of the United Griffon Kingdom of France and Germane. Now that being said, you are in deep shit right now.”

Spike sat in science as he tried to absorb what he had just been told. It was just too much to take in; he was an Equestrian citizen. He had lived there his whole life. There was no way what Axel said was true. “But I-I lived there my whole life, how can I not be and Equestrian Citizen?” he weakly asked.

Axel put a claw on the dragon’s shoulder and offered him a sympathetic smile “I don’t know Spike. I’m afraid that’s one the things I can’t answer you. But right now maybe we should focus on your trouble with the crown.”

“I guess, so what’s going to happen to me?” the defeated dragon asked.

“Well that depends, the king asked me to look into this case. I haven’t decided to accept it yet but let me tell you that I haven’t lost a single case in my career.” The Executioner boasted with a feral grin. “I’ve send so many lowlifes to their graves that they started calling me ‘The Executioner’.”

Spike glanced at the papers in front of him. Things may have not been looking good for him but that didn’t meat that he should just give up. He looked up at the lawyer with a defiant glace as he questioned him “So that’s it? You’re saying that I’m screwed?”

The Executioner turned his back at Spike as he began searching the stacks of documents. Finding the ones he was searching for he then turned to Spike and placed the documents next to the ones detailing about happened the previous night before speaking, “This stack of papers contains the charges you are facing. But don’t get me wrong dragon, I could easily get you off with a public apology and a few hours of community service.”

Spike turned to the griffon and asked him “Why would you want to help me? Why would tie me up to mock me if you were planning on helping me?!”

“Because it amused me,” was his response.

 “That’s it? This is nothing but a joke to you, why would do that? Who would insult a client that they are representing?”Spike asked at the lawyer with disbelief, how could he just treat this as a joke?

“The best damned lawyer in the entire Griffon Kingdom that’s who!” Axel shouted to the dragon while giving him a deep glare. The Executioner proceeded to open the files in front of him. “I may be a vicious prosecutor but don’t come to conclusions about me dragon. I’ve also have defended a couple of clients regardless of whether they were guilty or not. Right now I’m willing to offer you my services and you just keep refusing as if you have a death wish.”

“I don’t have a death wish!” Spike exclaimed.

“They why are refusing my offer?” The Executioner asked.

“Be-because, I don’t alright… It’s just that…”- Spike gave a sight as he decided it would be better to accept the lawyers services- “Fine, I’ll accept you services as a lawyer.”

“Well then I just have to decide whether or not I want to defend you.” Axel said, paying more attention to the files in his claws than to the dragon.

“But you just-“

“Be quite Spike, I still haven’t decided if I want to take in your case.” The Executioner said as he passed a couple of pages that he had read over to Spike. “Now you charges of property damage and burglary, but that’s just the tip of the iceberg. Right now there’s the whole issue about crashing into the king’s private suite, you’ll be lucky if you don’t get charges of treason.”

“That bad huh?” asked Spike as he glanced over the documents.

“Nothing I can’t deal with. Now let’s see the summary report about what happened yesterday,” said the griffon lawyer as he glanced at the other file, “well let’s see. It matches up to what you told me, you crashed through the window and ruined and expensive rug by spilling a glass of royal chocolate milk…”

“Wow those things are detailed aren’t they?” Spike nervously asked with a chuckle.

“You spilled the royal chocolate milk…” Axel repeated with a cold tone.

“No big deal right?” Spike asked.

The Executioner turned to spike with a deep scowl as he barked at him “No big deal? NO BIG DEAL?! You idiot do you have and damned idea on what you have done! You can forget about defending you in fact if I was your judge I’ll have you hanged and then have you hanged again. If that wasn’t enough, I’ll have your corpse dug up and hang it one more time!”

“B-but it was just chocolate milk.”Spike pledged.

“Just chocolate milk you say?” the enraged lawyer repeated. “Well then listen to me you little prick, I will personally take on this case and make sure that you what’s coming for you incompetence or my name isn’t Axel Q. O’nner. Now get out of my sight!”

The Executioner called for the guards to escort Spike back to his cell. When the dragon arrived at the cell room he saw that Birdy was still lying at his corner sleeping. Spike began poking the smelly scarecrow but to his disappointment he wouldn’t budge.

“Feck off crows…” he muttered within his slumber.

Spike sighed as he headed towards the sink. He glanced at his reflection on the mirror as he pondered over what had occurred within the last few hours. He woke up locked up with a cellar, talked to alcoholic scarecrow, and had to sit down with a mentally unstable lawyer that wants to have him executed for spilling chocolate milk. It as if he was locked up in a insane asylum rather than a dungeon.

“I need a drink” he muttered to himself.

*Ting!*

On second thought drinking was what got him into this mess in the first place and it what pretty early to be drinking. It wasn’t even lunch hour yet. Spike groaned as he sat on the on one of mattresses of the bed lost in thought. He knew that he had to escape from this nut house, but how?

╠═════════════╣

The High King of the Griffons was relaxing within his personal quarters of the castle when he heard knocking from the door. “Who dares interrupt me?” he gutturally asked.

A voice responded “Sorry for disturbing you your highness, but I’m one of the captains of your royal guard division. I bring you news on the prisoners meeting with The Executioner.”

The king opened the door to see one of his guards in front of him; apparently he was a captain rank or something. The king had hard time telling his guards apart and often confused their ranks. Even though the ‘captain’ in front of him was fairly tall by griffon standards he was dwarfed by the king’s own size, which the king took pride in that even his greatest guards were no match to his size.

“Ah, yes. So you’re a captain. Huh, must be short on guards. So captain, what did he say?” He finally asked the guard.

“The Executioner said he would accept the case and requested to be appointed judge.” The captain responded ignoring the king’s first statement.

“Good. I’ll make him judge.” The king said yet taking another pause, “I trust his judgment.  Also one more thing, the professor requests…assistants.” The king uttered as he turned around and began to head back to his quarters before

“Yes your highness, I’ll send them right away!” The captain saluted as he left.

 The captain heard the sound of laughter arrived to the door of the living quarters of the dungeon guards. Opening the door without bothering to knock he found Cloudy Raindrop and Gerald resuming their game of poker drinking who knows what. “I hope that’s not alcohol you idiots have there.” He announced his presence.

The two guards choked upon hearing the captain’s voice. The griffon recovered first,”Of course not Sir! We wouldn’t even think about doing that while on duty.”

“Gerald’s right cap’n, we wouldn’t do that. So what brings you here sir!” the pegasus saluted.

 “I want you two to escort the prisoner to Professor Von Krippenstein.” the captain ordered.

“But cap we just gots done escorting the dragon dude to Tha Executioner!” Cloudy Raindrop protested.

“Yes and know I have king’s orders to have the dragon escorted to the professor. So get to it you two!” the captain barked at the two idiots.

“Yes sir!”Gerald saluted as he headed out the doorway.

“Hey wait for me dude!” the pegasus shouted as he flew after the griffon.

The captain headed toward the table and picked up a cup from which they were drinking from. It was alcohol just like he suspected. He then headed towards the icebox located at the end of the room. He opened it and found a variety of beer bottles within.

“I get no respect around here.” He muttered to himself as he picked a beer bottle from the icebox.