Sky Does Science

Sky popped the lock on Carbon’s window and let herself in out of the cold.
“Brrrrr!” She squeaked, shivering a little as she closed it behind her, looking around the dark living room and taking stock.
Carbon was passed out on his couch, just across from his fireplace. A few dying embers brought a little illumination to the room, bathing everything in an orange half-light. Sky was relatively certain that he’d mistake her for an axe-murderer if he woke up right now. Something about pissing off a pony who she knew for a fact kept a dagger about him wasn’t exactly appealing to her right now.

Besides, she wasn’t there for him. Not yet, anyway.

“This plan is stupidly overcomplicated, sis.” Shadow commented, sitting down on the couch next to Carbon.
“Exactly!” Sky whispered back, creeping around behind him. “So it’s gotta work, right?”
“If you say so.” The younger pony shrugged, unconvinced. She settled down next to the stallion and started gently playing with his ears, “I’m sorry Carbon. Sky’s bloody bonkers.”
Sky considered getting into an argument with her little sister, but figured that this was neither the time nor the place. Besides, she was technically correct.

Sky was, in every sense, a homewrecker. If she wasn’t pinching everything that wasn’t nailed down, she was ruining all kinds of relationships. However, when it came to Carbon, she had no interest whatsoever in ruining what he and Lilo had together. Those two were in love, and she accepted that. He’d at least been nice to Sky once he’d learned to keep his wingboners to himself, and that was more than most stallions really did for her. His attitude had earned him a place on Sky’s incredibly short “Do Not Fuck These Ponies’ Lives Up” list.

Besides, she was crap at dates. Right now, Sky was interested in only one thing: sex.

The last few days had been downright torturous for her, a period during which she’d been inexplicably horny but unable to do anything about it. It was agonising, and Sky could barely take any more. Not even that big dragon dildo she kept under her floorboards was really doing it for her anymore.

Perhaps her mind wasn’t working properly, her thought processes dulled by hormones, but she knew only three things right now: She needed a stallion to shag her, that stallion had to be Carbon, and the only way she was going to convince him to do that would be to woo him with her incredible command of all things scientific.

There was just one problem.
She was crap at science.

“Where do ponies like him keep these things, anyway?” Sky asked, starting to rummage around through Carbon’s cupboards and drawers.
“What the hell do I look like, a science pony?” Shadow deadpanned. “Go check to see if he has a study or something.”
Sky huffed, dancing from one pair of hooves to the other restlessly.
This is bloody well killing me…
Shadow waited until Sky had irritably trotted out of the room before getting back to work,
“Happy, sad, happy, sad…” She giggled softly, pushing his ears back before pulling them up again.

Sky crept silently down the hall, just as wary of Lilo as she’d been about Carbon. Just because the changeling seemed shy and kind didn’t mean that she wouldn’t bust out any hitherto-unseen kung-fu expertise. She’d learned that one the hard way that one time she’d visited Shanghay.
Sky stopped as she spotted a door that still had light shining out from underneath it. Placing her ear to it to make sure that nopony was moving on the other side, she twisted the knob and pushed, letting herself in.

“Jackpot.”

The room was filled with various textbooks and academic journals, piled up high in neat organised piles. It was a veritable fountain of knowledge, enough scientific knowledge to sustain even the most curious researcher.

Sky, however, felt herself overcome with the same feeling she got when the teacher used to assign homework.
“Awwww, Luna-fucking-damn-it, I don’t wanna read all of this shit!” She whined, flopping onto her back. She gazed up at the pile as another pony would look up at the world’s most unclimbable mountain.
Just go find something that looks super-complicated and then go from there. Come on Sky, this is for a good cause and you know it!
“Ugh…” She huffed, yanking a book out of the pile at random. The entire pile wobbled before collapsing on top of her like the most uncooperative game of Jenga on earth. A series of loud thuds and yelps echoed across the whole house.

“Fuck, what’s that bitch doing?” Shadow huffed, ears perking. She gave a frightened little squeak as Carbon stirred.
“Oh no...oh no...erm…” Thinking on her feet, the filly began to gently stroke his mane, whispering the only lullaby she knew.

”Go to sleep, go to sleep, go to sleep little Carbon…” Shadow sang softly, cursing her big sister’s name and silently vowing revenge. ”Please don’t wake up, cause you’ll kill us, and I don’t wanna die…”

In time, Carbon’s expression softened, and he once again drifted off into his deep, warm slumber. Shadow planted her lips on his cheek gently, kissing him goodnight.

Sky dashed into the living room again, triumphantly holding the biggest textbook and grinning.
“Satisfied?” Shadow glared at her.
“I will be soon.” Sky giggled evilly. “Come on, let’s get out of here.”
“Hang on! Wanna see something cool first?” Shadow piped up, taking Carbon’s ears in her forehooves again, starting to wiggle them around. “Check it out! Happy...sad...confused…”
“What in the name of Luna’s blue-darted bollocks are you doing!” Sky squeaked, terrified. She darted forward to bat Shadow off of him, but in her haste, she managed to sock him in the nose.

That woke him up, all right.

There was a moment where the three ponies stared at one another, wide-eyed. Carbon took in Sky’s manic expression, the thick book tucked under her wing, her presence in his house, and responded as almost anypony would in this situation.

“What the fuck.”

“CHEESE IT, SHADOW!” Sky yelped, doing an about turn and charging at the window. She slammed into it, fiddling with the lock for a few moments before flinging it open and diving out into the night. Shadow followed a moment later, pausing for only a moment to look back at him apologetically.
“Sorry Carbon, she’s on heat right now. Life’s about to get really interesting for you.” She sighed, before taking flight. The poor hapless stallion was left in solitary confusion. the sound of Sky’s victorious cackling fading into the distance.

“You’re fucking mad. I hope you realise that!” Shadow half-chuckled, flying alongside Sky as the mare picked up speed.
“Maybe…” Sky grinned, skidding around the corner and starting to gallop down the street. “But this plan’s bound to work. I just know it.”