Sky Does Science

Shadow trotted downstairs for breakfast, before collapsing in a fit of spluttering and coughing.

It appeared as if the living room was filled with thick black smoke. Whatever it was, Shadow was relatively certain that she shouldn’t be breathing it in.

“What the fuck, sis?” She squeaked, gasping for air and scrambling back up the stairs. “Did you set the fucking tower or what?”

Just then, the sound of mad cackling crept up the stairs, one that was meant to chill the soul and give everypony goosebumps. It was a laugh that belonged to the maddest of mad scientists.

Or, in this case, a mare on heat who thought she was a hell of a lot smarter than she really was.

“MWAHAHAHAohbollocks…” Sky’s mad laughter descended into a coughing fit as she breathed it in as well, stumbling out of the room and faceplanting on the stairs. As Shadow opened her eyes, she took in her sister’s fairly ridiculous attire.

Sky’s mane was slightly scorched, and she was wearing a lab coat with what looked like the biggest pair of glasses that she’d been able to find.

“What the fuck are you wearing?” Shadow sighed, tapping her hoof irritably. It was hard to look pissed off when you were as fluffy as Shadow was, but she put in the extra effort for her sister.

“Um...sciencey stuff?” Sky shrugged, dragging herself up the stairs and flapping her good wing to waft away the smoke.
“You look ridiculous.” The filly deadpanned. “Seriously, you picked up that book last night and you’ve already managed to set the fucking tower on fire?”

“It’s not on fire!” Sky said defensively, raising her forehooves. “It’s just...I poured some stuff in these two beakers together, and there was all this smoke, but the important thing is that I made science happen!” She beamed at her little sister with pure optimism.

Shadow sighed with exasperation. “So what’s with the get-up?”

“Well, apparently when you do science, you’ve gotta wear a lab coat.” Sky nodded confidently. “And these glasses just seemed kinda neat.”

“They don’t even have lenses.”

“So?”

“You look like one of those ponies who wears scarves in summer and spends all day writing shitty articles for the newspaper.” Shadow cocked her head. “You really think that this is gonna get Carbon to sleep with you?”

“Trust me, I know what I’m doing.” Sky nodded, grinning. “I’m formulating a foolproof plan that’s guaranteed to get him to shag me!”

“Just as well it’s foolproof…” Shadow muttered to herself, rolling her eyes.

“What’s that?”

“Nothing!” The filly smiled pleasantly. “So what’s the plan?”

“Well…” Sky explained, pulling the book out from under her wing and popping it open for Shadow. “There’s a thing in here called the scientific method. That’s where you’ve got an idea of what’ll happen, and then you experiment a bunch of times to see it works, and then you come up with a theory.” She fluttered her wings excitedly. “So...like, my hypothesis is that if I knock on Carbon’s door tonight dressed up as something that Carbon would bond with, then he’ll tie me up and fuck me like an animal all night long!”

“Wow…” Shadow glared at Sky. There really was no talking to that mare while she was this horny. She did the most ridiculous stupid shit. “I guess you’ve got it all worked out, huh? So what bonds with carbon?”

“Actually, a lot of stuff…” Sky’s ears splayed back as she looked over the Periodic Table. “Um...carbon’s kind of a massive slut...almost as bad as this hydrogen bitch. She really gets around…”

“Don’t know anypony like her.”

“Yeah...hey...I’ve got an idea…”

“Oh Luna, what?”

“What if I dress up as hydrogen and try and bond with him that way?” Sky gave an excited little squee. “But...but I’ll find the biggest chemical compound with hydrogen and carbon in it! That way, he’ll be so impressed that he’ll probably do anything I tell him!”

“Wo...wow sis, you’ve really got this figured out, haven’t you?” Shadow sighed resignedly.
She just couldn’t bear to let something like logic or common sense get in the way of her sister’s fun...or libido.

“It’s the lab coat.” Sky nodded confidently. “It makes me good enough at science to come up with ideas as good as this one.”

“You ever consider...you know...asking him if he wants to shag you, instead of going to all this trouble?”

“Oh Shadow.” Sky smiled, ruffling her little sister’s mane. “When you want a stallion to have sex with you, you can’t just go up to them, kiss them and then drag them into the closet by the tail. You’ve gotta have some finesse, do something special for them…”

“Sky...that’s how you make mares do it.” Shadow ventured nervously. “Have you been huffing the blue formula again?”

“No...well yes, but that’s not the point…” Sky grinned. “I just know that this is gonna work, and Carbon’s gonna be super-impressed, and I’ll have the best Nightmare Night ever!” She bounced up and down, so excited about her ridiculously elaborate plan that Shadow simply didn’t have the heart to tell her off anymore.

“So what are you gonna try first?” Shadow cocked her head, looking down at the book.

“I guess I’ll start with...ooh, methane!” Sky nodded, turning the page and spotting a fun-looking molecular diagram. “It’s kind of what’d happen if I got five minutes with the Mirror Pond anyway, right?”

“What, a great big hydrogen gangbang with Carbon caught in the middle of it all?”

“Exactly.” Sky grinned. “Besides, methane’s kinda simple, but it might be sciencey enough that Carbon’s impressed by it. What do you think?”

“Well...he’s definitely gonna be surprised.” Shadow scratched the back of her head apprehensively. “So, you’ve got a plan, I guess. Are you just gonna follow him around trying different things all day?”

“No! Come on, Shadow. I’d never do a thing like that.”

“Oh thank fuck, because I was gonna say, that’d be creepy…” Shadow began.

“I pinched his journal last night too! It’s got his day plan written in it, so I can just happen to show up at the same place as him and just happen to be dressed up as a bunch of different compounds!”

“Aaaand there’s the creepiness.” Shadow sighed.

“So according to this, he’s gonna be at the marketplace in ten minutes! I’m gonna get ready!” Sky couldn’t help but squee as she bounded off, giddy on hormones and some chemicals that she probably shouldn’t have inhaled.

Shadow sat there in silence for a moment, before trotting back up into her room to start work on her own costume.

“Maybe I’ll be a ghost this year!” She fluttered her wings excitedly, taking a pair of scissors to one of her white blankets. One way or another, this was going to be one hell of a Nightmare Night.