Without memories nor past

“I have to go, now, I have some responsibilities, and you kindly pointed out I should pay more attention to them.” She stated with fake indignation.

I finished my breakfast – jam on a piece of freshly baked bread – and then went upstairs into my room to at least try to do some reading. I took another random book from the shelf and started reading once I arrived at my room. 'What was that dream ? I think she told me that the initial setting of a dream depends on my subconscious, but that would mean I have either subliminal feelings for Luna, or I simply don't realise I have them. If it is because of my subconscious, then it won't hurt unless it changes my behaviour in a negative way. And I doubt I could be oblivious to my own feelings... Although, I've met only three ponies, Celestia, that guard, and Luna – actually I've met lots of ponies at the guard office, but never talked to them – and I like Luna most... But does that means I like her ? Why is it so hard to make a difference between liking and liking somepony ? Why didn't she react more to my dream ? Why am I  still pretending to read this book ? Why am I asking so many questions to myself ?'

I put the book back onto its shelf, since I wasn't even reading it, I was just turning pages from time to time. 'I think the best thing to do is nothing, until I find out more...'

I grabbed the book again, only to put it back a few seconds later. 'I think I might go for a walk, but it's night time... I hope the gardens I saw at the back of the castle are illuminated at night... although I doubt it...'

I followed the hallway that led to the back entrance of the castle. The new moon wasn't shining very brightly and, like I had predicted, there were no lights so I could only see the main path that went between the different parts of the garden. There was a small path at my left which I decided to take. Soon, I was lost in the royal gardens, I could still see the castle, but I wasn't able to remember which path I had taken last. But I didn't care, I didn't even realise it at the moment, all I wanted was to think, and wandering about with no reason seemed to increase my ability to do such thing. I was thinking about my feelings for Luna, pondering about their authenticity, and, conclusion after conclusion, finding out more and more on them.

I continued my little tour of the gardens for half an hour when suddenly a blueish light caught my eye. I turned my head to realise that one part of the garden was actually lit, a small park. It took me a moment to realise there were no actual lamp there, only flowers, midnight blue flowers. Those were as bright as small, blue candles.

My legs were getting sore so I decided to sit down in the grass between the flowers. I felt a weird, but not unpleasant aura, like somepony was sitting next to me. 'Meh, probably only a natural illusion of some sort...' I stayed there for a while and enjoyed the fresh air for a while. My thinkings were reaching a conclusion when I decided to find my way back to the castle, yet I didn't move, mostly out of laziness, but also because the atmosphere was just beautiful and I wanted to enjoy it a little more. 'I think my feelings are real, otherwise they couldn't have influenced my subconscious that much and, now that I think about it, I do feel something for her. But how does it come that I haven't realised it until now, and why do I like her after less than three days ?'

“I see you're admiring those flowers. How do you find them ?”

“I... er... they're beautiful.” I wasn't really admiring them, I was lost in thought, but they were indeed beautiful.

“I've created these a few years after I came back from the moon. I was trying my hoof at gardening, but my plants just died every time. One day, I managed to grow a flower that survived longer than one day, but somepony accidentally stepped on it and crushed it. I had kind of grown onto it, so I decided to try to save it with magic. The result was a flower the same colour as my magic, after a few days it had multiplied so I decided to wrap this entire area in a spell to avoid it messing with the Equestrian ecosystem. The flowers also close during the day and open only at night, therefore, almost nopony ever sees this.” She paused for a moment; “Do you like me ? You know what way I mean. The setting of that dream was created by you, or rather, your subconscious.”

“I don't know... I've been thinking all day, well night, about it.”

“Hmm... Do you feel better in this garden than elsewhere ?”

“Yes, there is some kind of 'aura' that's pretty enjoyable, but apart from this, not...”

It was then I realised that aura was much stronger since she was here, and it was almost like there were two of her; like the Lunas had been doubled.

“We unicorns can sense other ponies' presence if they are close enough, that 'aura' you are feeling is my magic running through the flowers. So you are enjoying my presence, which means you do like me.”

“Yes, I think I do... And that way too...” I could almost feel the blush on my face. “But how can you know it's this way, and not another, for instance, like a friend ?”

“Well you just told me...”'Second time I get caught on that...'

“I guess I need to find a mental hospital now...”

“Why ?”

“Because it would be awkward for you if I stayed here. Wouldn't it ?”

“No, except if... I... uhm... The truth is I kinda like you too, and I wanted to try this relationship.” She said apparently trying to hide a blush. It was cute, considering her place in the society. I couldn't help but smile at that.

“Oh, I'd love to try too... But it seems weird to start a relationship like that, from scratch. Or is it normal ? Damn, amnesia is confusing...”

“Consider it more like dating – you know what dating is, right ?” I nodded in response.

“But without the actual dating, because I can't just go out with somepony in public, given my social rank.”

“Yes, of course. But it still seems a bit weird, I mean, we've known each other for three days, and it's a little short, isn't it ?”

“It's not about how long we know each other, but how much we know about the other.”

“But... I know almost nothing about you...”

“You know much more than you think you do. While sharing a dream with somepony, you learn huge amounts of informations about the pony you're dreaming with, and the best part is that you don't even realise you're learning all those things. They are written into the dream, into its structure.”

“But we've spent only a few minutes in dream.”

“Which is like several hours of discussion.”

“Oh, but I still don't get it, if that means we've talked for so long, why don't I know every aspect of your life ?”

“Because it's like talking about nothing, we don't discuss anything, but we are still talking to each other, and that's what's important; we learn to know each other, not about our lives.”

“Okay... I think I understand now.”

We spent the rest of the night talking, this time with a subject. At one point we caught ourselves leaning against each other, but neither of us made a movement to get out of the embrace. When the moon was indicating the end of the night we decided to go to bed.

“I think you should sleep in my bedchamber today-”

“I... uhm... you... are you su-sure a-about this ? I m-mean, isn't it go-going too fast ?” I could feel so much heat from my face that I was sure my white (PINK!) coat had turned a shade of crimson.

“Oh, sorry, I didn't mean anything like that. I was just thinking of improving the connection between our dreams, since we'll be trying to bruteforce that barrier. And I don't want the link of our dreams shattering and throwing you into coma.”

“Wait, that thing can break ? And it can 'throw' me into coma ?! You said there were no dangers !”

“It can't break, usually, but since I am technically attacking your mind, it tries to get me out of there, and to break the connection. I can pretty easily stay inside, but the closer I am to the pony I’m merging dreams with, the easier it is. This is the only situation where physical distance matters. It's probably because this actually requires magic.”

“Okay, but I still don't understand why I can fall into coma if the link gets broken, and do you fall into coma too ?”

“No, I am totally safe doing this. And honestly, I don't know why ponies I do this to fall into coma if I fail.”

I was laying in bed, waiting to fall asleep. I felt too captivated by the beautiful – this was the first time I realised this – goddess in laying in the same bed as me. I wasn't actually looking at her, because I felt like it was invading her privacy, somehow, but when I turned around and saw how peaceful she looked I couldn't help but smile at her sight. As I watched her, I slowly drifted off to sleep...

I was starring into Luna's beautiful cyan eyes. It felt like nothing could break this moment, but of course, I was wrong.

“You had trouble falling asleep, didn't you ?”

“Oh, yeah, kinda...”

“Much on your mind ?”

“Yeah, a certain cute blue alicorn...” I said with a wink. She smiled and continued after a pause: “Anyway, we need to find this tower, I’ll try to destroy the shield around it, I think it'll work, because I’ve never seen an amnesia of this type that would have resisted a bruteforce attack from me.”

Once again I made everything around us disappear and the green tower materialise next to me. “So, you just concentrate on the flow of time while I try to break the 'spell'.”

“Okay, I’m on it.”

She concentrated for a few seconds until she sent out an orb of light onto the wall of pink energy. The ball bounced off harmlessly and popped after she released the magic.

“Hmm, the 'spell' is stronger than I thought, I’ll try with more power this time.”

Again, she loaded up her magic and fired, having approximately as much success as last time.

“By my sister's name ! It's really resistant. I'll try one more time.”

And once again, she repeated the spell, but still without any signs of success.

“Sorry, I can't do anything, I’m afraid, I could use more power, but I doubt it would help more, since locks of this type usually break after a first try, and this one withstood a rather big amount of energy... Besides, more force could leave damage.”

“Please, you have to try... And I thought it couldn't get dangerous...”

“Well, it was because I was using normal amounts of magic doing it, amounts of magic that aren't big enough to do actual damage to your mind, but if I go higher with the magic, it can get pretty powerful and destructive. I can try; but you need to be hundred percent sure about this, are you ?”

“Of course I am ! We're talking about my memories here ! And it's the only way to get them back.”

“Well, solving that riddle could do, but we have no idea how to solve it.”

“We have to use the power of love, don't we ? It seems easy to me...”

“The only ones who can use that power are changelings and Cadence, and neither of them can enter dreams.”

“Then try it, I’m nothing without my memories...”

“Okay, you've been warned though.”

This time she waited considerably longer until releasing it. This time, the ball of energy didn't disappear after bouncing off the wall, no, it was charging at full speed towards Luna. So I stepped in front of it...

Author's Note: Luna got a little edit in, since it's funny it will stay in the manuscript, but it won't be in the final version of the book.

/*Author's note: You guessed it, that author's note above is from aponymous (yes, I’m still looking for a name for him...)

I know this chapter seems rushed, but that's only because it is, there will be an explanation to this in a few chapters.

It's late when I’m writing this so I’ll proofread it tomorrow (I realised that I can't just ask my readers to do this, and that I need to do this myself) #procrastinatingFTW (done)

But keep telling me about grammar/spelling mistakes, English isn't my first language so the vocabulary isn't very developed either, so if you see a word you'd change, tell me.

Also, sorry for the huge delay, I had a over loaded weekend, and just couldn't get a moment to sit down and write. */