A Lonesome Dreamscape

How can she eat so much?!

We got to Sugarcube Corner and had Pinkie scream out and jump from behind the counters, firing her party cannon, saying it was because Gummy was turning 350 day's old. Who the fuck is Gummy? You may ask, well I asked that too. And I found out when a goddamn toothless gator was trying to eat my entire arm.

After I ran around the store, screaming for him to get the fuck off before I make new boots, Pinkie yanked him off and stuffed him into her mane... 'That didn't just happen, right?' I though to myself. Enphasis on 'thought'. The little bastard jumped out when Sweetie was enjoying/destroying a big-ass chocolate cake.

"Where does it all go?" I asked, bewildered.

"My sugar core, of course!" She said happily, while giggling and returning to her cake.

You know what? Not even going to question that. Pony logic hurts too much to think about anymore.

"Fair enough." I sipped my milkshake with the most epic crazy straw of all time. Thing had like fifty spins. I was looking around the shop, more importantly the windows to the shop. Twilight was galloping full speed at us, with her horn glowing.

Run?

Run!

"Holy shit she's not slowing down!" I yelled out, jumping across the counter; leaving Sweetie behind. "Fuck!" I reached over and grabbed the giggling unicorn. Running through the kitchen in hopes there would be a back door.

I was greeted by Pinkie saying, "Silly, you can't be back here! Only experienced and expert ponies can! WAIT. Even I'M not allowed back here!" She vanished in a cloud of flour, showing me the door on the other side.

"Hehehe, why are you running around, Seth?" She asked, as I busted through the door, coughing from the flour in my lungs.

"Twilight... angry... me and Luna played a prank on her; she didn't like the prank." She tilted her head sideways in confusion. "Look, I'll tell you another time. Have a good day out, with me?"

"It was the most fun I've had in EVER!" She said with a wide smile.

"Great! But I need you to go back to Rarity's, or at least go play somewhere else, because-"

"SETH, YOU GET YOUR FLANK BACK HERE NOW!" Twilight screamed, galloping through the flour cloud.

"RUN, SWEETIE! Run for your life!" I told her, sprinting the other way.

"No way in Tartarus are you getting away!" Oh, gawd! She's right behind us. OH GAWD! Her magic's back; she's charging her lazorz!

I sprinted through town, trying to loose her. But she kept teleporting right beside me, everywhere I went.

No shit, Sherlock! She has unlimited power!

SAY SOMETHING HELPFUL.

She's in front of you.

What?

"Fuck!" I slammed into a violet wall of magic; sliding down it, making that comical 'screeeech. Tkk.' sound as I hit the ground.

Twilight dispelled the wall and walked up to me. She kicked my shin once, with a hoof.

"Ow..." I said, my voice muffled by the dirt in it.

"Good. You're conscious." Very observant!

"Indeed." I spoke while getting up and trying to run for freedom. That is, before Twilight enveloped me inside a purple bubble of magic...

"Ohhhh, no! You're not going anywhere, but with ME." She said, getting a slightly offsetting smile on her muzzle. "Celestia replied to my lettterrr~" She told me, happily trotting in place.

Damn, Luna failed! "What it say?"

"Hah. Haha. Ahahaha." She laughed like an evil villain. "That you and Luna messed with my head." Her left eye started twitching madly. Not a good sign. "And that you blocked my magic, with THIS!" She yelled at me, floating a ring (the magic dampener) up to my eyesight. Her mane was a little messy now; maybe she should try yoga?

"Oh, really? Well that fucks up the part where I thought you wouldn't find it..."

"Feel like a little field trip?!"

"If I say no, will you let me go?"

"Field trip, it is!" She exclaimed, teleporting us.

_________________________________

Back in Canterlot...

"SisterrrRRRrrr!"

"It's your own fault!"

"Nuh-uh!"

"Ya-huh!"

Celestia and Luna wrestled through the dinning room, shooting out the door in a mess of tangled manes and scraped bodies. Rolling along the halls of the castle, screaming and pulling at their manes; the guards could barely remain stoic. But they dare not intervene in the royal sister's blood feud.

"Ow! You bit me, Tia!" Luna yelled out, as Celestia galloped off to her room, casting an enchantment over her chambers so Luna wasn't able to teleport in and get her.

"To my faithful student. I regret to inform you, that Seth the human and my sister Princess Luna have played an awful trick on you. Please have Spike inspect your horn; I believe there to be a device dubbed the magic dampener upon it. It's the reason you haven't been able to use your magic, it drains your power as you try to cast a spell. As well as the nightmare you had suffered the other day, I have good reason to believe my sister used a very powerful spell to invade your dreams. - Princess Celestia." She said aloud, as she wrote the important letter, to her pupil.

Sending the letter, just as Luna caved-in her east wall. She strolled over to the disheveled night princess; smirking.

"That hurt..." She said, getting out of the rubble.

"I can only assume." Luna glared at the smug alicorn in front of her. "Seth's gunna get iiiiiit~." She sang, grinning from ear to ear.

"What. Did. You. Do, sister?" Her eyes squinted.

"Simply informed Twilight about your, 'meaningless prank'."

"THOU SHALT HAVE THINE HEAD ON A PIKE!" Luna bellowed, scarring the wits out of Celestia. Luna charged up her horn, and before Tia even knew what had happened she fell backwards. Luna floated her up onto her bed, fluffing up her pillow.

"What-what have you done, sister?!" She screamed, slightly scared of the now, powerful alicorn of the night. (She shouldn't have this much power...)

"You went too far this time, Tia. This will not stand. I cannot have Twilight bring him to you to be punished. He has done nothing wrong."

Celestia tried to break free, but it was impossible for her to even concentrate with this annoying twang, going through her head and to her horn. "What spell is this, Lulu?!" She screamed.

Luna looked up from the letter she was sending, watching her sister look more and more irritated. "Tis a spell we wrote ages ago. It leaves the receiver unable to move, paralyzed for a few hours. The annoying head twinge of pain you feel in your horn is just less that of a headache. We toned it down for you, sister."

"Thank you?" Celestia said, partially wondering how she didn't know of this...

"Not a problem, Tia." Luna replied happily, while pulling Celestia along with her as she walked out the halls and into the throne room. "Come, sister. We must prepare for Twilight."

"Prepare?" She asked, in confusion.

"Oh, yes. I forgot to tell you. I'm you for the next few hours." Luna said, smiling widely as her body formed into Celestia's; almost too perfectly.

"Wait wh-" That's all she got to say before she was shot back to her room; laying on her bed for the next hour or more. Waiting...

__________________________________

"Oh, my gawwwwwwwwwwd I hate teleporting!" I shouted, seeing a mess of swirling, random colors shoot passed my eyes in the vortex. What ever, at least it only takes a few seconds for her to take me where ever the fuck it was, she was taking me...

"Annnnd, were here!" She said triumphantly.

"Canterlot? You do realize that if you bring me to the castle, Luna will give you a beating you'll never forget, right?"

"Wouldn't be so surrre~." She sang, with a smile, bouncing my bubble around as she trotted through the streets. "Celestia said she trapped Luna in her room, with an enchantment so she couldn't teleport out, to get to you. Now were going to Celestia for your. 'Rightful punishment'."

Luna, why you so flacid?

"Well, shit." I said, as she lead me through the city. Hey, look! Its those snobby bastards that said I was creepy and should be in a cage when I was walking through here with Luna on my back, earlier. "Eat a dick!" I yelled out to them.

They glared at Twilight, not noticing me, inside the purple bubble. Hah, awesome!

Wonder if it pops?

Dude, check your sock. Put your pocket knife in there before we left.

What, seriously?

Yeah, man. Right sock.

Dude, no way!

You're welcome.

I flicked my five inch blade out, looking at it; then the bubble, and back to the knife, before stabbing it.

My blade went right through the bubble, popping it and setting me free.

"Hah! No way, it actually worked!" I said, as I landed on the ground... head first. "Pain..."

"What do you think you're doing?" Twilight said in an aggravated tone.

"Getting out of your easily pop-able magic bubble? It's fucking cramped in there."

"Ugh. What ever! Just keep up, and don't even think of trying to run away. You won't get far, I can promise you that." Did Twibright just threaten me?

"I'm not gunna run."

"Good, than hurry up. I don't like keeping the princess waiting." She told me, walking ahead of me.

"Hmm..." She turned back to me, glaring daggers at my head. "Jesus, alright!" I said, throwing my arms up and walking up to her.

We passed the coffee/doughnut shop I found when I was running away from Luna, my first day here. Looking inside I saw the guy who ran the place, he stoically nodded to me and gave a small salute. I like him. Nice guy.

"Can you please just keep walking. Stop staring at random ponies you don't know." Eat a dick, Twi.

"Eh, that stallion in there, just so happens to be a close friend!"

"Right. I'm sure he is, now start walking before you go back into the bubble."

I started walking, mumbling under my breath with my arms crossed. " Try it... I'll just pop your stupid bubble with my-, shit. Where did go?

You dipshit, she picked it up when you fell.

Thanks for telling me, AFTER she jacked it.

Feed me booze and you get what you want.

Oh my god, I forgot about the hidden glory!

I didn't...

It's good we have these talks.

"What the heck, are you doing?" What? Oh. Right. I probably look like I've been fighting with my own brain.

You have, asshole!

Thinking quickly I came up with a fool proof excuse.

"Uhhhm. Everything?"

Nice save.

Twilight looked curious about what I was actually doing, then developed a look like she was concerned for my mental health.

Hell, I'M concerned for your mental health.

"Just keep walking. PLEASE?" She said, exasperated.

We had an interesting conversation, me and Twilight. I asked her about what Luna was like, pre-banishment, (I mean yeah, Luna's told me, but nothing with solid facts.) and other random things about her. Surprisingly, and a little creepily, Twilight knew pretty much everything about the prank loving night princess. Found out Luna's birthday is in like two weeks, and there's some sick ass thing with the moons glow where your entire body gets enveloped in the light, then a show of some of her past memories play through the sky like the Northern Lights. Fucking sweet, if you ask me. But when Twilight told me that the images flash through the sky, all I kept thinking was 'HUNGER GAMES!'.

But in all seriousness, I'm glad I figured out when her birthday is. Would've been fucking awful to completely miss her birthday. Would've left her heartbroken, as if I didn't care enough to find out and remember.

"So, wait." I said, stopping in the middle of the castle halls. "What month is it?"

"Fillycemeber. Why? Is it really that different from your world?" She asked, excited to learn more about earth. (Hah, total rip off of December)

"Yeah, it's called December back home. Wait. Where the hell's the snow if it's 'Fillycember'?"

"There's still a few weeks before Fillycember. I thought you were asking when Luna's birthday was."

Reminder: Find a pony calendar and laugh at how similar, yet fucking hilarious the months are.

Check.

"Well, both were helpful. What day is it on?"

"The thirteenth." Sweet, lucky number!

"Awesome, good to know."

"Yes, now hurry up! You can decide what to do for her, AFTER your punishment." She said, smugly, as she trotted the rest of the way to the throne room.

"And I thought we made progress..."

I stuffed my hands into my pockets and slowly made my way to the throne room, walking in just in time to see Tia and Twi, hug it out and laugh over something. Ugh, screw you both.

Celestia glared at me the whole time she was moving and sitting back on her throne. I feel like I have a target on my head or something.

"Seth."

"Tia." We both kind of just stared at each other.

"You know why you have been brought here?"

"Yuuup."

"Delightful." She gave an insanely creepy smile after saying that. "For corrupting an element of harmony, Equestria's most important and powerful weapon's dreams, and taking away my most faithful students ability to use her magic, I sentence you-" Oh, this oughta be good. "-To a thousand year exile on the moon."

Both mine and Twilight's eyes went wide.

"WHAT?!" I was about to start voicing my outrage and in all likelihood swearing at Cel, but her horn lit up and she hit me with a beam, sending me away. I did however notice the sapphire eye that winked at me.

"Luna's way too cool for me." I said, teleporting to another room in the castle.

Looking around the new room I was in, I saw a large sun, shooting out golden rays across the walls. Also somepony laying on the bed.

"Hahaha! No way!"

_______________________________________

"Princess! You didn't just do that, did you?!" Twilight asked, shocked that Celestia would give such a harsh punishment to Seth.

"Yes. Yes I did, Twilight. His charges were criminal, and he received the correct punishment. He corrupted your dreams, Twilight. You're the Element of Magic, I can't risk having you messed with."

Twilight's jaw hit the floor. "But-but, he wasn't evil! He didn't anything horribl-"

"Do you doubt my decision, Twilight?"

"Ye-. N-no. No, Princess Celestia." She said in the calmest way she could, even though she was fuming.

"Good. Now that this is dealt with, I have more important matters to attend too. Have a safe trip back to Ponyville, my student." Celestia leaned down and hugged Twilight, giving here a small smile and a pat on the back with a wing to get her to move along.

"Thank you, Princess..." She said, walking out the doors with them closing behind her.

"So, I don't really care where Celestia went, considering you're not yelling at us or throwing darts around to waste time. But where did you put Celestia, Luna?"

Bucking Flash Sentry...

"She tried getting Twilight to bring Seth to her to send him away. He did nothing wrong and we have fixed the problem. 'Tis all you need to know."

"What ever, just make sure she's back before the council assembles. If neither of you are there, then they won't be too happy. And by that, I mean you want have control over us anymore."

"Yes, yes. Will do." She told him, turning back to her normal blue coat and starry mane, before teleporting away in a huff.

"Told you, the princess was acting different." Flash smirked to his comrade, getting a small bag of bits thrown his way.

"But how'd you know?" Iron Gate, asked.

"By this time she's usually stuffing her muzzle full of cakes. She didn't even touch a single one while she was in here." Making his friend laugh, they walked out the throne room and down to the mess hall.

___________________________________

"Ahahahahahahaha! Holy shit, Luna is definitely way too awesome for me!" This is one of the greatest things I think I will ever see. She left Cel paralyzed on her bed, sharpie all over her muzzle.

"Yes. Hilarious, isn't it?!" She seethed, through her clenched teeth.

"I never thought it was possible to love Luna more than I already did!"

"Ugh... What does it say?"

"You sure- ahaha, you sure you want to know?"

"Is it really that bad?"

"Oh, yeshhhhh."

"Just tell me..."

"Alright. Just don't get mad when I tell you~" I told her, sitting on the bed cross legged and reading it out to her. "Ok, now if I tell you, don't get pissed at me." It looks like she tried to write something about how Celestia eats too much cake and thusly happens to have a large and fat flank as the process, but didn't have enough room. She settled for something better. "'Celestia's a cunt.'" Ahahaha.

"That's it? Thought it would have bee-"

"Also, 'I have such a fat flank even my own sun gets pulled into the gravitational pull!' AHAHAHA!"

"SHE'S DEAD!"

Celestia is not amused.

"Hah, plus it says 'buck here' on your forehead!"

"YOU WILL BOTH PAY IN BLOOD!"

"Oh come on! You had Purplesmarts kidnap me and almost sent me to the fucking moon or something."

"Was only going to be for a day..." She mumbled.

"See? All because you decided it would be funny to post a fake engagement. Bad taste, Cel."

"You two aren't playing far-"

"All's fair in the game of war, dear sister." Luna emerged from the shadowy doorway, smirking at her sisters predicament.

"Oh my god, Luna, I love you so much!" I told her as I walked over to her and gave her a nice big smooch.

"We know." She said, brushing her tail passed my face. "Now, Tia. Care to stop this, and try to get along for a little while?"

"mph, Seth, Luna, rasa mph..."

"Sorry, what was that, Tia?"

"You two suck... It was only going to be a day..."

"Ever been up there yourself, Cel?" I asked.

"No, and I don't plan to!"

"All depends on how you answer this next question, sister."

"Excuse, me?" She asked, shocked.

"You answer this question wrong, and you go to the moon for a day. Answer it right, and we can put this behind all of us." Luna smiled. " Your choice, Tia."

"How could you even say that to me!?"

"You were ready to send Seth there without even a moments thought. What's different about you?"

"My royal duties! What would happen to the sun if I was gone?!"

"We have had far more than enough time to gather the necessary power needed for this endeavor."

"What... But-but. Shit." She finally gave up.

"Good. Now care to stop all this?"

"Yessssssssss..." She said, a little pissy.

"Great. This means we're off. The spell lasts for another hour or so, sister, so have a nice nap~"

"Nice try, Lulu, but the council will be here in the next few minutes and YOU have to go instead of ME now."

"Awe, buck! We forgot the council..."

"Hahaha, smooooooth, Luna." I said with a grin.

"Huagh... where are you going for the day, then, Seth?"

"Well, I was thinking of going back to Ponyville. One round trip ticket, please! Getting Rarity to make me some new clothes, and I need to pay Pinkie back for a few things."

"Such as?" Oh, she's going to love this.

"Uhh, a box of cupcakes for Applebloom, a chocolate cake, four milkshakes, a few dozen cookies, a pound of triple chocolate pecan fudge clusters, about ten assorted other cakes, for Sweetiebelle." She looked a little more than just 'disappointed'. "Oh, and a milkshake for myself as well."

"You're serious?" Luna's not amused face is so cute! It's like she's trying to be angry, but can't, because it's me! "Here. This should be enough for Laughter's sweets and Generosities clothes." She floated a sack of bits over to my pocket. "And for the 'round trip', I can give you this." She popped a little scroll in my hand from no where. "Transportation scroll. Simply unravel it, and hold on."

"Thanks, hun!" I kissed her, making her slightly blush as I added a little tongue into the mix, making her moan a bit.

"Mmmm..." She moaned as she caressed her tongue with mine.

"MHMPH!" Luna whipped her head around, blushing madly as she realized she just made such sounds in front of her sister.

"Hah! Your face is price- HOLY SHIT!" I wasn't able to finish as I was yanked from Canterlot and thrown down to Ponyville via Luna's magic.

"Bye, Tia! Have a nice nap!" And with that, Luna vanished to the the meeting room to await the royal council's summons.

Celestia laid there for a moment, thinking from hundreds of years ago back to the present. "Meh, still better than that cheating bastard."

______________________________________

"IT'S HAPPENING!" I screamed, lurching forward and upchucking my lunch, puking my guts out in a bush. "A little warning the next time you do that, would be wonderful, Luna!" I screamed to the heavens. My mouth tastes like a frat party morning.

Running over to a stream I cupped my hands in the water and gargled heavily and rinsed my mouth out as many times I could. This taste is like day on my tongue!

"Oh, please come back!" Deh fuck? "Please? Aren't you at least a little, tiny bit hungry? Just a little peck... I-if that's ok with you."

That's Fluttershys stutter. (Yes I know what her stutter sounds like. You try not remembering that cute little 'If that's ok with you...')

"Wonder what she's doing?" I said, walking along the creek bed and finding a little bridge that connected to a path that led to a nice looking country cottage. "Niiiiice."

"W-w-w-h-h-o's there..?" Aweee! She's so shy.

"Hiya, Fluttershy. Just, Seth." She walked out from the side of the cottage she was hiding behind; in turn, hiding behind her mane as she walked up to me timidly.

"O-oh... Hi..." She's so scared. I should change that. "W-what brings you h-here?" Awwe.

"Fluttershyyyyy, are you still scared of me?"

"Well. M-maybe a little..." She said, hiding behind her mane a little more.

"What can I do to make myself less scary?" I asked, sitting down on the grass and staring at her.

"W-well... That helped a little bit."

"Great, I was hoping being on the same level with you would be better." I looked passed her and to her back yard where she was before I showed up. "By the way, what were you doing before I got here?"

Her ears went flat. "I was trying to get my birds inside and feed them, but they won't even move..." She slumped to the ground and looked like she was going to cry. "I don't think they like me anymore..."

My... my heart. "Mind if I give it a try?"

"S-sure..." She didn't get up, instead, she just moved her head to the grass and blew a blade of it back and forth.

Awe... Sad Fluttershy isn't a Fluttershy I want to see.

I walked around the side of the cottage, seeing a bag of feed, hanging on a hook attached to the back wall. There's an absolute fuck load of birds perched in the trees surrounding her place. I grabbed a hand-full of bird seed and held it out.

Fluttershy was laying with her face to the grass.

"At least you still like me, right, grass?" The wind blew it from side to side. "Oh...Ok."

"AHHH!" Her ears shot up and galloped to her back yard, turning the corner and beginning to stifle a giggle.

"Oh, my!" She exclaimed in her soft voice.

I was standing next to her house with crows, pigeons, swallows, robins, a bald eagle and even a damn crane, covering most of my body from head to toe. "These the birds?" I asked, laughing a little. "Or is there another flock?"

She giggled softly, trotting over to me. "I don't understand. They wouldn't even flap their wings for ME." She smiled up to me. "How did you do it?"

"Magic touch? I don't know, I love animals and always had a way with them I guess." I smiled back, through the mass of feathers in my face.

"CAUUAHHH!" The bald eagle let out a loud screech.

"Think he's hungry now, haha." They all flew off me as soon as Fluttershy opened her door.

"Care to come in for some tea?" She offered, kindly.

"Sounds wonderful, Fluttershy." I followed her inside, staring blankly at the vast numbers of animals she had in her house. There just so happened to be a brown bear on his hind-legs staring at me. What? He flopped down onto all four paws and strolled up to me; sniffing and inspecting my form, he began rubbing his back against my legs. I scratched behind his ears and on his back, then he rolled over and splayed his legs out. "Awwe, you're just a giant puppy dog, aren't ya?" I said, scratching his belly.

"Mr. Bear!" Fluttershy said in excitement. "You're so cuddly, today! Who's a good boy?" She told him, patting his head as he let out a happy roar and smiled. "Tea's ready, Seth. We can have it in the living room, If that's okay with you..."

"Heh heh, sounds perfect, Shy." I stood up from my kneeling position; patting Mr. Bear on the belly and following Fluttershy into the next room.

There was a small bunny sitting on the couch; arms crossed as he gave me a relentless death glare. I stood a few feet away, just looking at him as Flutters hovered around me and placed the tray down on a small coffee table.

Looking over to me, she noticed the bunny. "Angel! Stop that, right now. He's a guest in this home and will be treated as such!" She said sternly.

This 'Angel' didn't move a muscle. Didn't even seem to register that she said anything to him, opting to just glare the fuck out of me. I walked the last few feet to the couch, sitting down beside him; never looking away as we continued our little staring contest.

Still staring at him, I reached into my coat pocket and pulled out a small bag. Opening it and picking up a plate from the tray Fluttershy put down, I laid a piece of carrot cake down in front of him. (I took a handful of the cakes Sweetie didn't eat. I was gunna munch on them when I was waiting for Rarity to be down my clothes.) He sniffed it suspiciously, then picked it up and stuffed it into his mouth. Smiling wide, he started flailing his paws around like he was trying to tell me something.

Dude, I think he's trying to talk to you.

"Angel bunny, says, 'Thanks for the cake. You're alright. Just... just don't touch mommy'. Awe, Angel!"

"Mommy?"

"That would be ME!" She said proudly and happily as she picked him up and gave him a hug; placing him softly on the couch again.

I looked back to him, holding out a hand. "Deal, Angel." He put out his paw and shook my hand.

I'm shaking hands with a fucking bunny...

A bunny that will laugh while he murders you if you even so much as touch a hair on Fluttershy's mane.

Wait, that wasn't brain... I looked at him, and he just nodded; hopping off the couch and up the stairs of Flutter's cottage. I think I just pissed my pants...

"Do you just keep cake in your pockets all the time?" Fluttershy's question shook me from my little episode.

"Hmm? Oh, nah. I took Sweetiebelle out for a treat earlier when I was ordering clothes from Rarity. Sweetie ordered like, EVERYTHING possible and there was a lot of left overs."

"Haha, I see. You really like Sweetie, don't you?"

"Of course I do. She's the cutest and sweetest little filly in the world! I'd take her home in a heart beat if I could, haha."

"Hehe, I know what you mean. She smiled, sipping her tea. "You're not scary in the slightest, Seth. I don't know WHAT I was thinking."

"Yay! Fluttershy's, seal of approval!" She giggled at my antics, having to put down her cup. "Don't blame you though. I mean, come on. Big scary alien from another dimension randomly shows up and you're supposed to be all okay with it? Yeah, I'd be running for the hills." I said, scooting closers and petting her pink mane. She cooed into my petting so I scratched her ear and she let out a happy little moan.

WHAT DID I SAY, MOTHERBUCKER?!

Holy bat-shit!

I retracted my hand instantly and she opened her eyes. A look of disappointment and confusion on her face. "Aww... Why'd you have to stop?" She pouted to me with big puppy dog eyes.

"Why do ponies have to be so cuuute?" I said, laughing as her yellow cheeks were tinted pink.

"I-I-I... How's your... Tea?" She asked in a hushed voice.

"Sadly, gone. I should probably be leaving anyways. Rarity said she would be done my clothes pretty quick. Plus I still gotta pay Pinkie for those treats."

"You didn't Pinkie Promise a time to pay her back, did you?" She said almost frightened.

"What's a Pinkie Promise?"

"Oh, thanks goodness, you didn't." She grabbed my hand with a hood. "NEVER Pinkie Promise something to her unless you know for a fact, without a doubt, you can keep it."

"Uh, alright?" I said, getting a little weirded out. (The fuck is a Pinkie Promise?!) "Well, I guess I'm, off, now." I told her, standing up and walking to the door.

"Oh. Okay..."

It's a conspiracy, I swear. They're all just too cute. "The tea was wonderful, Fluterrshy. We should have another chat, soon. How about it?"

"I'd like that, Seth." She said, smiling then giggling. "Just hopefully one with less feathers."

"Yeah, one can only hope." I said, plucking the feathers out of my hair. "Well, have a nice day, Flutters!"

"You too, Seth!" She told me, as I closed the door and turned around to see Angel standing at the front door.

He hopped up onto my foot, Spazing a paw against my shin. "Yes, I get it. Sorry for petting her!" I reached into my pocket and pulled out my last carrot cake; placing it on the ground behind him. He moved off my shoe, picking it up and pointing to the bridge. "Jesus, you're protective."

I walked across the bridge, yelling back to the fuzzy bastard. "I already have a marefriend you white fluffball!"

What ever. Forget that bastard, I need to get to Pinkies shop so I can pay her back and get my new clothes. Been going around way too much, today. Fucking Twilight and her 'revenge'. Would've been so much easy if she hadn't shown up and I could have just had a nice quiet day out with Sweetiebelle. But no. No quiet days, for me!

I made my way through Ponyville, finding Pinkie and tossing her a bunch of bits for all the sweets. She took half and gave me back the rest. "Heh, still need to work out the currency exchange here."

"No problem, silly!" She bounced back into the kitchen, humming to herself. Ah, Pinkie. A continuous pink ball of joy and ADHD. Walking out of the store I saw the sky light up with a rainbow colored soundwave. THE FUCK WAS THAT? I wanna see it again! Nothing happened, but I saw a lot of ponies around, just shaking their heads like they'd seen it a million times. Equestria never ceases to amaze.

Making my way to Rarity's, I was again greeted by the little white unicorn. This time she was outside, playing with a ball. "Hey, Seth!" She ran up to me, smiling. "Back for another date?" She smiled widely at me.

I picked her up and placed her on my head, laughing. "Two in one day? Going way too fast for me, Belle." I told her, smiling from hearing her childish giggles.

"Hehehehe, next time then!" She said, holding a few tufts of my hair in her hooves, and yelling out, "Onward to the inspiration room!"

Please, please, please, can I take her?

No, goddamn it!

She 'led' me to the door of the inspiration room; letting go of my hair as I turned the knob and opened the door, only to grab on again as we entered it, moving her hoof fulls of my hair back and forth.

"Look, Rarity! I'm working a human!" Sweet unholy abomination of hell, I love this kid!

"Very nice, Sweetie. But could you please let him go?" Rarity said, flinging a few boxes into my arms. And by 'few' I mean eight FULL boxes of clothes.

"Damn, Rarity, how much did you make?!"

"Language! And darling, I made you an entire new wardrobe, of course. Your current clothes are rags compared to my newest creations."

Take as in insult, or ignore completely so I can get back to Luna faster?

Ignore.

Perfect Idea.

You owe me booze when we get back, you remember, right?

I FORGOT ABOUT THE DUNGEON OF LIQUOR AGAIN?!

What has this world done to you?

"Well, thanks for the new robes. Here ya go." I said as I put down the boxes and tossed her the bag of bits.

"Oh, please, darling. No charge, needed now that I'm able to expand my horizons. Thanks to you, I'll be making beautifully made minotaur gowns in not time! Even fabulous suits for my wittle Spikey wikey!" Does Spike have game?

"Awesome, but I can't just take these without giving you nothing. You used so much material."

"Nonsense. Was, my pleasure to make them." She turned around, going back to working on something new. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm designing a new line of clothing for my cutey Spikey wikey." He do have game!

"No problem. I'm gone."

"Ta-ta, dear." She said, as I left her room and out through her house; closing the door shut on my way out.

Walking down the street I stopped at the edge of a field, looking up at the setting sun. I feel like I'm forgetting something... something kind of important. BAH, what ever, probably nothing. Gazing up at the moon; so close to making its rise through the nights sky. Almost, home. I opened the scroll Luna gave me, and touched the boxes so they would teleport with me.

I flashed back into Luna's chambers. Hearing a happy sigh, as she recognized me returning from the day; probably happy to be done with those nobles from earlier and just relax. Standing up from the bed, she stared at me.

"What? No welcome home kiss?"

"Ahahaha! Nice, hat."

Awe, fuck...