Bastards! Those Fuckers! Why, why am I friends with them? All they ever talk about is that damn show. Why would they care, they're not little girls. What's so great about technicolor ponies brandishing tattoos on their asses, giving them a stupid name like 'Cutie Mark'? Fuck them all!

I was furious! After several weeks of non-stop chatting during Recess and Lunch breaks at School about that crime against Nature, 'My Little Pony', I finally snapped. All my friends were pro-pony, it practically engulfed their social lives. I addressed their sick obsession with the show, giving them the third degree. All I got out of it was a group of pissed off sub-species of humans, and menacing stares. Most would believe that it wasn't worth it to speak out... but then again, those people weren't me. I was not going to bottle up my feelings toward the show just for their sake. Fuck that!

As I let the hot water from my shower hit the back of my neck and flow down my body, I considered my options. It would be so easy to just apologize to them and let them ruin their lives fawning over imaginary creatures. But I was not the kind to apologize when I was not in the wrong. That may have been why I couldn't maintain a romantic relationship, but that nonsense about the woman always being right was just shit. Notice how they're often wrong when you're not trying to date them.

No, I was not wrong. The series was a waste to those who were beyond the age range the show stood for. The only other alternative would be to give the series a shot. Maybe seeing it instead of hearing about it would make me realize just what exactly drew the others to it.

With my hair and body all clean, I turned off the taps to the shower, reveling in the warmth of the last sprinklings of water before the comparatively cold air reached my surface. I stepped out of the cubicle and grabbed the nearest towel. Looking out the window, the moonlight shone through, touching everything it could. I dried my hair and dragged the towel over my body to wipe the droplets of water from my skin. I often kept a pair of underwear and some pants resting on the bath tub's edge so I wouldn't have to walk around the house in my towel. It was as I was donning these garments that I noticed something odd.

With all the moisture in the air, the bathroom mirror was surprisingly clear and untouched by the steam and humidity. That's interesting. I thought to myself, angling my head to look at the mirror side on. It appeared that the steam was going through the mirror, instead of touching it. I slid the reflective glass to the side, revealing the cabinet behind. I felt around the inside, noting everything was dry, and Narnia certainly wasn't at the back. I slid the mirror back and as it went as far as it could go, I noticed the reflective surface wobble slightly, like something between a watery surface and jelly.

That's very interesting. I thought again. I contemplated what to do. What had changed between the time I'd entered the shower and now? There was moisture in the air, steam and water vapor. The moonlight was touching the mirror. That has to be it. For some obscene reason, the thought that I was dreaming didn't even enter into my mind. I reached a hand out and touched the mirror. To my surprise, but subconsciously, as was expected of a jelly mirror, the hand went through. The other side felt wet, but not entirely watery. It was like a cool equivalent of the humidity in the bathroom. Exactly how I imagined a cloud to feel like.

I ran from the bathroom and shot right into my bedroom. If this was a chance to enter either a portal to another world, or another country, I wanted to take that chance. Fucked if I passed that up. It was strange. I wasn't much for road trips, despite being an Australian ( and we were stereotypically known for our joy of bush-walking). However, this opportunity just couldn't be passed up. I thought about ringing a friend to go through with me, but after that argument, they could all go fuck themselves and their technicolor ponies. I packed my school bag with things I thought I'd need, including my ID, in case I wound up inexplicably in another country, hopefully one that spoke English. I packed an extra pair of clothes, including a flannelette shirt (yet another Aussie stereotype). A torch, cigarette lighter (zippo), My ipod was already in there, as was my laptop. If anything, I wouldn't get bored. Also, the bag was waterproof, thanks very much 'Aussie Disposals'. That little feature would certainly help, especially since the other side was wet.

With everything I thought I might need, I ran back to the mirror in the bathroom. I turned the light off so as not to waste power. My eyes were given the beautiful sight of a slightly glowing mirror, radiating a luminescent glow throughout, making me look like an angel.

There was only one way to enter the mirror, seeing as it was so high off the ground and above the sink. I checked to make sure it was still a portal and hadn't gone back to being a mirror before I took a few steps back and ran for it.

Wait, how will I get back? that thought came too late as I was half way through already. By the time the severity of such an afterthought hit me, I was falling. Fucking hindsight! I thought as I looked around. Everything was grey for a few seconds. Then the grey just lifted. I looked back to it and nearly choked on my heart. It was a cloud that I felt on this side of the mirror.

"Oh, you motherFUCKER!!!" I shouted as I turned around in the air, wanting to see how long I had left to live. Not long by the looks of things. Beneath me was a rather bright land, and my bulls-eye was a large blue lake. At the angle I was descending, I was about to experience death by belly flop. An extremely painful forethought.

I weighed my options. I only had two. I could either land head first and hope the shallow bottom would kill me instantly and painfully. Or I could remove my bag from my back, angle myself into a pin-dive and hope to god that the lake wasn't as shallow as it looked. In the end, survival won out and I executed plan B. I made sure that the bag was just in front of me, so if I did survive, I could grab it underwater and swim to the surface, assuming my legs weren't broken.

It was a painfully slow descent, wondering if I'll survive or if I'll die. More so wondering if I'll die quickly, or painfully. I watched as the Lake came closer and I held my breath just as my feet touched the surface. The next thing I knew, was cold and that unmistakable bubbling sound rising all around me. I waited for the bottom of the lake to break my legs, but I felt nothing like that. Could it be that I was in luck? I kicked my legs, hoping to slow whatever descent remained, as well as reduce the amount of space I had to ascend should I survive. I reached out for my bag and found it. Gripping the strap tightly, I kicked as hard as I could and found myself able to breathe within a few seconds. I was still alive. I dared to open my eyes and the light of the world hit me like a train. With that and the cold water, I was disorientated. All I knew for certain was that I had survived. Adrenaline allowed me to force myself to the edge of the lake that had wound up saving me. The instant I felt dirt in my hand, I threw everything I had into climbing out and just rested on the edge, face turned to the sky. I spent minutes just lying there, trying to calm myself down. I listened to the sounds around me, birds chirping, other animals making those unique sounds. I relaxed slightly, taking in the scent of fresh grass and forest trees. Before I knew it, I’d fallen asleep.

My dreams were vivid. I heard voices within darkness. Strange voices with incomplete grammar. Words were missing, as if talking to another person whose English were novice at best. I soon discovered that the voices were real. I awoke underground, the scent of dirt and dog filling my nose. I groaned, sitting up, but I hit my head on stone.

“Ah, FUCK!” I shouted, the last word echoing throughout the dark expanses. Suddenly, there was the chinking of armour coming from close by and I was soon greeted by very butch, but small dogs wearing golden plated armour, the same armour I heard prior to their appearance.

“What means this word, fuck? I not know it.” The dog said. My face froze in place and I could feel my cheek lifting spasmodically in a series of twitches.

“You…spoke?” I asked.

“Silence prisoner! What are you?” the second one asked. I refrained from telling him, disliking having to have to explain my own species to a dog.

“I said ‘what are you’?!” the dog began to shout.

“You said silence, how can you expect me to answer after I was told to be silent?” I asked, testing his intelligence.

“I…uh… I guess you’re right. Tell me, what are you?” he asked. I frowned at him. I suddenly noticed that the darkness of the underground was lit up by diamonds and all sorts of gems.

“I am a human.” I replied, looking about the area. There were no prison bars preventing me from escaping.

“What’s a human?” asked the first guard. “Is it food?” the second one asked. I suddenly got a feeling that I imagined Alice in Wonderland would have gotten were she to discover there were no other humans within the world she had entered.

“A Human is a much more evolved creature compared to mutts like you!” I growled. Clearly their intelligence wasn’t lacking entirely. They took offense to my insult almost immediately.

“Silence, fool prisoner! We will not be insulted by our prey!” the second one said. Suddenly, a third dog approached. He was taller than the second dog, but not quite as tall as the first.

“How is our prisoner?” he asked.

“He is talkative, but not as whiny as that white and purple pony.” said the second guard, shuddering at the memory of said pony. The others followed suit.

“Did you say pony? As in Equestrian Pony?” I asked, leaning back into the shadows.

“Yes, that’s right. We are beneath Equestria.” The third dog replied, his tone seeming slightly curious. “W-why?” he asked, leaning forward, trying to get a better look at my face.

“Then that would make you the Diamond Dogs my friends speak of?” I asked, my tone becoming more aggressive. The three diamond dogs nodded in response.

“Why?” the third repeated. I just crossed my arms.

“Then that would mean you intend to put me to work in helping you find diamonds, correct?” I asked, my tone deepening. The first two seemed wary, leaning away slightly, while the third sounded slightly rattled.

“Y-yes. W-why do you ask?” he asked once more. My arms fell to my sides, crackling. The sound echoed, causing the dogs to suddenly shiver.

“As if I would become a slave to mongrel dogs who live in the world of Equestria!” I growled, reaching my right arm forward, grabbing the third dog by the head. Had I known my mirror would take me to this nightmarish place, I would have taken a sledgehammer to it instead. Thanks to my friends' constant ramblings, I knew pretty much everything that went on in the show. And I would be damned if I slaved in the dirt for stupid creatures such as this. No, I did not survive death for that. I had to get out of here, and these three were in my way.

"I'm gonna kill you!"

Author's Note

This is actually the first MLP fanfic I made, just rebooted. I used Naruto just to explain how my character said that last sentence, but by no means does he have Naruto's voice.

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