I always was good at finding a silver lining in every situation. The grey cloud here would have been that I was quite literally in a toon world. The silver lining, I got the opportunity to beat the crap out of them all. That said, I took an uncharacteristic pleasure in smacking those Diamond dogs around. Being an intimidating two legged creature three times their size would do that for you. Luckily, I knew how to work my appearance to my advantage.

I wasn’t one for physical activity, I preferred to write, mainly horror. And let me tell you, every thrilling moment would be a ‘Fuck Me!’ moment. For the Diamond dogs, this was one such moment. I used the darkness of the cave to my advantage.

While I was certain their own eyes had adjusted to the dim light from the crystals around here, they couldn’t possibly see through the darkness between those lights. Those were my advantages.

I knew how to frighten them, I knew how to reach them, and thanks to those three Diamond Dogs from before, I now knew how to kill them. I was good with voices and sounds. I couldn’t decide whether to use Crispin Freeman’s ‘Alucard’ voice, or Brian O’Niel’s ‘Asura’. In the end, I chose neither and went for Johnny Depp’s ‘Sweeney Todd’. His blend of low tone and a slightly whispery voice helped to make the fur on their necks stand up.

“♪There’s a hole in the world

like a great black pit!

And it’s filled with people

who are filled with shit!

And the vermin of the world

inhabit it!♪”

Thanks to the layout of the tunnels, the diamond dogs couldn’t pinpoint the origin of the song I was singing. That was good, as it helped to distract them as well as separate them. The two closest to me and facing away from me, I noticed carried swords. Perfect. I always wanted a sword. I waited until all were facing away from me before I struck. I was quick and wasted no amount of strength in taking the first one out. Wrapping my arms around his neck and strangling him like Bardock, I added to the pressure, breaking his neck.

Before he could hit the ground, I grabbed his sword from his hand and retreated back into the shadows. The others heard their comrade fall and turned to face me, but I was already out of sight. I snuck around to the other sword wielding dog and with quick precision, I covered his maw and sliced his throat, stealing the other sword.

Now I was fucking Starkiller with a man’s voice! I shifted my grip on the swords to match the character. There were three Diamond Dogs left in this hallway. Divided between their fallen comrades, the third one stood out like a sore thumb. The opportunity was just too good to pass up.

Such fun was this, I almost forgot where I was. The lone Diamond Dog took a sword to the knee, just to get that joke out of my system before losing his head in the chaos. The remaining two had spears. Now this would be a game of chance. Would I be lucky enough to get them, or would my luck run out and they get me?

I ran up to them, revealing myself for the first time. They were ready though. They thrust their spears out toward me. I threw one blade up to knock their weapons away before closing the distance. I corrected myself and chose a move from the Starkiller’s repertoire.

I threw my right blade up, cutting a Diamond Dog’s arm clean off before using my momentum to turn around, impaling the same dog with the left sword. I then took a second to prepare myself before lifting that dog up with the sword. I then threw him at the other dog who fell over with his comrade weighing him down. I took a moment to relax before walking past, stabbing the survivor in the head before walking on.

I wasn't normally good with combat or precision outside of gaming, and even then it took me a few moments to mentally prepare. But somehow, I found myself mimicking every move and every swing perfectly, as if my imagination controlled my body for me. I knew better than to think such things, but I couldn't help but explore this possibility. I remembered hearing one of my friends contemplating that if a Human were to find a way into Equestria, would he be able to learn magic, and if so, what would their limits be? Perhaps the magic would already be within them, and it would be limited to the true nature of Humanity; fighting.

I abandoned the train of thought as I heard the culmination of angry and frightened sounds up ahead. I decided to test my theory and abandon stealth. With both swords in hand, I stepped calmly and slowly forward. I knew I was within their sights when they entered mine. Growls came from most of them, the minority of them began to shake with fear. No surprise seeing as I was 8 feet tall and they were only between 3 and 5 feet. I made a few challenging spins with my blades, using that time to prepare for a fight.

All the Diamond Dogs, including the scared ones charged me. I prepared for the onslaught and swung at the first one that came within reach. The skirmish began. The dogs were slow, so I had time to parry one or two at a time before cutting them down before the next lot would attack. I turned on my heel, swinging hard to parry a rather big one. The collision caused us both to falter, but I recovered quicker and sliced him across the middle, using the momentum of the strike to parry another.

They were closing in quickly and it was becoming difficult for my body to keep up with the sheer numbers. I searched my memory for a scenario like this that didn't involve surrender or dying. I'd seen Roxas jump over the Heartless and run up a building and I'd seen Starkiller destroy the nearest stormtroopers around him and knock back the furthest ones.

As if by magic, my body reacted and I found myself crouching in the air, ripples of what looked like translucent energy surrounding me. On a whim, I threw my body outward, and the energy reacted as expected. I'd just managed to pull off a fictitious telekinetic attack on a group of fictitious dogs. It wasn't 'the force', that would have been crazy. No, it had to be something different. Perhaps going to the magical guru of this world would be the best bet.

I suddenly began to smell something disgusting, something burnt. I looked around me to find cinders and ashes rising around me, circulating through the air. There were considerably fewer Diamond Dogs now too. The conclusion was obvious... Some had run away.

Author's Note

Okay, so yes, this is a short chapter, but I wanted to end it there so I could grab your attention HERE!!!

Before you go and stop reading this story, no, Alan didn't just learn how to use the force. I won't explain it yet, because that'll ruin the surprise. So PLEASE stay tuned (unless you're one of those guys who just doesn't like the character because he isn't a brony, and stop disliking the comments that oppose your way of thinking).