Disclaimer: The Story you are About to Read is Canon
Today seemed like it would be a fantastical day to Twilight Sprinkles as she woke up in the morning. The Sun was shining, the birds were chirping, and Spike was making waffles for breakfast.
As soon as she smelled the waffles that were being made, she ran downstairs in less than a second. If you doubt Twilight could preform such a feat, you clearly don't know the power of homemade waffles in morning, especially with homemade blueberry sauce, that shit's fucking amazing.
Anyways, Twilight waited impatiently at the table as Spike, made waffles, the smell was glorious and waffle-like, it taunted her, as she couldn't eat them until they were done, or without that god-fucking-damned blueberry sauce.
In a few minutes though, it was finally finished, the wonderful, wonderful waffles.
Twilight quickly grabbed three mostly-complete waffles, as well as the wondertastical blueberry sauce, and drowned the waffles in blueberry sauce, she began to eat. Not fast, but at a medium pace, as to savor the beautiful taste of waffles with blueberry sauce.
After such a foodgasmic experience, she went upstairs to take a bath, and get ready for the day.
Eventually Twilight was all ready for the day to come, she left the library to Spike, and went off the chill with her homie, Fluttershy.
Twilight knocked on Fluttershy's door, which was quickly answered.
"Oh, hello Twilight, you're here early." Fluttershy said.
"Of course Fluttershy, when you told me you found a new species of animal, I was preeetty excited to see what you had found." Twilight replied.
"Okay, well, come on in then." Fluttershy said.
Twilight entered Fluttershy's house, and instantly noticed the new animal that Fluttershy had found.
Twilight instantly ran over and started to examine the fascinating new creature.
It was a small yellow snakelike creature, with a light blue underbelly, it had a lazy look on it's face, and overall, was pretty strange.
"This is amazing!" Twilight said, as she quickly pulled out some books and began taking notes, as well as sketching out the appearance of the intriguing creature.
"Dunsparce!" the creature said.
Twilight gasped, could this creature be capable of speech? Or was that just some kind of noise this creature made.
"How fantastic! Although I don't think I'll be able to get much more information on this thing. Thanks a lot for telling me about this Fluttershy." Twilight said.
"Oh, no problem Twilight."
Twilight began to pack up her notes.
"Hey Fluttershy, do you want some waffles? Spike made plenty, so I brought some over." Twilight asked.
"HELL FUCKING YES, SPIKE'S WAFFLES ARE THE FUCKING BEST" Fluttershy yelled in excitement.
So Twilight unpacked the waffles, suddenly, the new creature shot something out of it's eyes at the waffles!
"What? No! The waffles! RUINED!" Twilight and Fluttershy yelled at the same time.
Suddenly, the waffles started to change shape, until... They looked like the creature fluttershy found!
"Huh?!" Twilight and Fluttershy exclaimed at the same time.
There were now four of these creatures.
"What!?" Twilight yelled.
Then all four of the creatures started rushing around Fluttershy's home, spewing more strange liquid at the animals, causing them to turn into more creatures.
The original creature's eyes began to glow a dark red.
"I am Dunsparce, the destroyer of worlds, the fucker of minds, the god eating demon, and the creator of all existence in the multiverse, this planet has been deemed unworthy, and shall be assimilated in the name of Me. Bow down to my will, and I may let you live, foolish mortals." The creature said.
All of the Dunsparces ran out of the house with great speed.
"Fluttershy?" Twilight asked.
"Yes?" Fluttershy replied.
"What just happened?" Twilight asked.
"I'm not sure." Fluttershy replied.
Twilight Sparkle and Fluttershy ran down the streets of a ponyville in chaos, Dunsparce were everywhere, assimilating all the ponies into the holy form of Dunsparce.
Suddenly! A large boom came from the sky! Rainbow Dash was fighting off a horde of floating Dunsparce with her Sonic Rainboom, she was so fast the Dunsparce couldn't even keep up! But suddenly all of the Dunsparce started to speed up as well!
"Oh no! Rainbow Dash look out!" Twilight yelled.
But it was too late, Rainbow Dash was assimilated, the only thing left was an incredibly fast Dunsparce.
"We need to find all our friends and get then to Canterlot! We should be safe there!" Twilight said to Fluttershy.
And so Twilight and Fluttershy started going around town, avoiding Dunsparce and looking for their friends.
Applejack was very confused, very confused indeed, there were strange creatures all around town, turning ponies into more strange creatures, it was very confusing. Thankfully though, she was able to get Granny Smith, Applebloom, Rarity (who was visiting) and Applebloom's friends. into the cellar, where they were safe.
Unfortunately, Big Mac didn't make it, and was turned into one of those monsters.
"Poor Big Mac, I can't imagine what it would be like to be turned into one of those monsters." Applebloom said.
"Don't worry about it Applebloom, I'm sure Big Mac will be juuuust fine." Scootaloo said.
While Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo comforted Applebloom, Granny Smith, Applejack, and Rarity were trying to work out a battle plan for these monsters.
But nothing came to mind, this was all so sudden, so of course they would be drawing a blank.
Suddenly, Twilight and Fluttershy teleported into the room!
And Pinke Pie jumped out from behind a barrel!
"Boo!" Pinkie yelled.
"AAAAAAHHH!" Everyone else yelled.
"No time to explain, come with us!" Twilight yelled.
"Okay!" Everyone else said.
Suddenly though, an incredibly strong Dunsparce knocked down the Cellar door! Just before Twilight could teleport everyone out of the Cellar he used his eye thingy to assimilate Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo and Granny Smith!
"Oh no!" Everyone yelled.
She quickly excluded the new Dunsparces from the teleport spell, and got everyone else the hell outta there!
Everyone woke up in the throne room in Canterlot Castle.
"What? but my spell was targeting the Ponyville station." Twilight said.
"Indeed Twilight, but I thought I would bring you all here to speed things along" Celestia said.
"Princess Celestia!" Twilight exclaimed.
"Indeed, it is I, as well as Princess Luna." Celestia said.
"Hello!" Luna said.
"Hi Princess Luna!" Everyone replied.
"Now then, we don't have much time, so I'll keep this brief." Celestia said.
"The monster attacking Equestria is the biggest threat we have faced yet, it goes by the name Dunsparce, as you may already know. Dunsparce is a merciless monster, that created all life as we know it long ago, however the past few thousand years he has grown restless and bored, and has begun to destroy entire planets for fun. He is almost completely unstoppable" Celestia said.
"Aw shit, then how do we beat it?" Twilight asked.
"Well, if Rainbow Dash wasn't assimilated, you could use the elements to defeat him, so instead it will be much more difficult. The only other way to defeat Dunsparce, is to use Discord's power." Celestia explained.
"Aaand where's Discord right now?" Twilight asked.
"Last I heard, he's in the Castle Library, probably eating books again." Celestia said.
"Oh, okay. Come on girls!" Twilight said.
"We will keep the Dunsparce off your backs for as long as we can!" Luna said.
"Thank you!" Twilight replied.
And so the main characters (minus Rainbow Dash) ran down the hallways of the castle, heading towards the library.
However...
As they ran, three Dunsparce broke through the windows behind them!
"Oh no!" Pinkie yelled.
"Go ahead Twilight, we'll keep these monsters away!" Rarity yelled.
"Yeah!" Fluttershy said.
"Appel!" Applejack said.
"Thank you all! I'll stop Dunsparce for sure!" Twilight yelled.
And so she ran...
And then Twilight finally reached the Library.
Inside Discord was eating some books and changing the color of the library for fun.
"I've been expecting you, Twilight Sparkle." Discord said.
"Discord, am I glad to see you!" Twilight replied.
"Yes, yes, you want me to stop Dunsparce now right?" Discord asked.
"Yes! Please and thank you!" Twilight yelled.
"Alright, jus' lemme do so-" *CRASH*
A Dunsparce entering the room interrupted Discord.
"DUUUUUNSPAAAAARCEEEEE" The Dunsparce yelled.
It's eyes lit up, and turned Discord into a Dunsparce.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooo!!" Twilight yelled very loudly.
Later...
A purple Dunsparce entered the Tree library.
"Hey twilight, how was your day?" Spike asked.
"Duuun." Twilight said.
"That bad, huh?" Spike replied.
THE END
The Version With Sick Rhymes
Todizzle seemed like it would be a gangbangin' dunkadelical dizzle ta Twilight Sprinklez as dat biiiiatch raised up in tha morning. Da Sun was shining, tha birdz was chirping, n' Spike was makin wafflez fo' breakfast.
As soon as her big-ass booty smelled tha wafflez dat was bein made, she ran downstairs up in less than a second. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! If you doubt Twilight could preform such a gangbangin' feat, you clearly don't give a fuck tha juice of homemade wafflez up in morning, especially wit homemade blueberry sauce, dat shitz fuckin amazing.
Anyways, Twilight waited impatiently all up in tha table as Spike, made waffles, tha smell was glorious n' waffle-like, it taunted her, as dat thugged-out biiiatch couldn't smoke dem until they was done, or without dat god-fucking-damned blueberry sauce.
In all dem minutes though, dat shiznit was finally finished, tha wonderful, straight-up dope waffles.
Twilight quickly grabbed three mostly-complete waffles, as well as tha wondertastical blueberry sauce, n' drowned tha wafflez up in blueberry sauce, da hoe fuckin started ta eat. Not fast yo, but at a medium pace, as ta savor tha dope taste of wafflez wit blueberry sauce.
After such a gangbangin' chickengasmic experience, dat biiiiatch went upstairs ta take a funky-ass bath, n' git locked n loaded fo' tha day.
Eventually Twilight was all locked n loaded fo' tha dizzle ta come, she left tha library ta Spike, n' went off tha chill wit her homie, Fluttershy.
Twilight knocked on Fluttershyz door, which was quickly answered.
"Oh, wassup Twilight, you here early." Fluttershy holla'd.
"Of course Fluttershy, when you holla'd at mah crazy ass you found a freshly smoked up speciez of animal, I was preeetty buckwild ta peep what tha fuck you had found." Twilight replied.
"Okay, well, come on up in then." Fluttershy holla'd.
Twilight entered Fluttershyz house, n' instantly noticed tha freshly smoked up animal dat Fluttershy had found.
Twilight instantly ran over n' started ta examine tha fascinatin freshly smoked up creature.
Dat shiznit was a lil' small-ass yellow snakelike creature, wit a light blue underbelly, it had a lazy look on itz face, n' overall, was pretty strange.
"This is sick!" Twilight holla'd, as she quickly pulled up some books n' fuckin started takin notes, as well as sketchin up tha appearizzle of tha intriguin creature.
"Dunsparce!" tha creature holla'd.
Twilight gasped, could dis creature be capable of speech, biatch? Or was dat just some kind of noise dis creature made.
"How tha fuck dunkadelic! Although I don't be thinkin I be bout ta be able ta git much mo' shiznit on dis thang. Thanks a shitload fo' spittin some lyrics ta me bout dis Fluttershy." Twilight holla'd.
"Oh, no problem Twilight."
Twilight fuckin started ta pack up her notes.
"Yo Fluttershy, do you want some waffles, biatch? Spike made plenty, so I brought some over." Twilight asked.
"HELL FUCKING YES, SPIKE'S WAFFLES ARE THE FUCKING BEST" Fluttershy yelled up in excitement.
So Twilight unpacked tha waffles, suddenly, tha freshly smoked up creature blasted suttin' outta itz eyes all up in tha waffles!
"What, biatch? No! Da waffles muthafucka! RUINED!" Twilight n' Fluttershy yelled all up in tha same time.
Suddenly, tha wafflez started ta chizzle shape, until... They looked like tha creature fluttershy found!
"Huh?!" Twilight n' Fluttershy exclaimed all up in tha same time.
There was now four of these creatures.
"What!?" Twilight yelled.
Then all four of tha creatures started rushin round Fluttershyz home, spewin mo' strange liquid all up in tha muthafuckas, causin dem ta turn tha fuck into mo' creatures.
Da original gangsta creaturez eyes fuckin started ta glow a thugged-out dark red.
"I be Dunsparce, tha destroyer of ghettos, tha fucker of minds, tha god smokin demon, n' tha creator of all existence up in tha multiverse, dis hood has been deemed unworthy, n' shall be assimilated up in tha name of Me. Bow down ta mah will, n' I may let you live, foolish mortals." Da creature holla'd.
All of tha Dunsparces ran outta tha doggy den wit pimped out speed.
"Fluttershy?" Twilight asked.
"Yes?" Fluttershy replied.
"What just happened?" Twilight asked.
"I aint sure." Fluttershy replied.
Twilight Sparkle n' Fluttershy ran down tha streetz of a ponyville up in chaos, Dunsparce was everywhere, assimilatin all tha ponies tha fuck into tha holy form of Dunsparce.
Suddenly dawwwwg! A big-ass boom came from tha sky dawwwwg! Rainbow Dash was fightin off a horde of floatin Dunsparce wit her Sonic Rainboom, dat biiiiatch was so fast tha Dunsparce couldn't even keep up! But suddenly all of tha Dunsparce started ta speed up as well!
"Oh no! Rainbow Dash look out!" Twilight yelled.
But dat shiznit was too late, Rainbow Dash was assimilated, tha only thang left was a incredibly fast Dunsparce.
"We need ta find all our playaz n' git then ta Canterlot son! We should be safe there!" Twilight holla'd ta Fluttershy.
And so Twilight n' Fluttershy started goin round town, avoidin Dunsparce n' lookin fo' they playas.
Applejack was straight-up confused, straight-up trippin indeed, there was strange creatures all round town, turnin ponies tha fuck into mo' strange creatures, dat shiznit was straight-up confusing. Thankfully though, dat biiiiatch was able ta git Granny Smizzle, Applebloom, Raritizzle (who was visiting) n' Applebloomz playas. tha fuck into tha cellar, where they was safe.
Unfortunately, Big Mac didn't make it, n' was turned tha fuck into one of dem monsters.
"Skanky Big Mac, I can't imagine what tha fuck it would be like ta be turned tha fuck into one of dem monsters." Applebloom holla'd.
"Don't worry bout it Applebloom, I be shizzle Big Mac is ghon be juuuust fine." Scootaloo holla'd.
While Sweetie Belle n' Scootaloo comforted Applebloom, Granny Smizzle, Applejack, n' Raritizzle was tryin ta work up a funky-ass battle plan fo' these monsters.
But not a god damn thang came ta mind, dis was all so sudden, so of course they would be drawin a funky-ass blank.
Suddenly, Twilight n' Fluttershy teleported tha fuck into tha room!
And Pinke Pie jumped up from behind a funky-ass barrel!
"Boo!" Pinkie yelled.
"AAAAAAHHH!" Everyone else yelled.
"No time ta explain, come wit us!" Twilight yelled.
"Okay!" Everyone else holla'd.
Suddenly though, a incredibly phat Dunsparce knocked down tha Cellar door playa! Just before Twilight could teleport mah playas outta tha Cellar he used his wild lil' fuckin eye thangy ta assimilate Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo n' Granny Smizzle!
"Oh no!" Everyone yelled.
Bitch quickly excluded tha freshly smoked up Dunsparces from tha teleport spell, n' gots any suckas tha hell outta there!
Everyone raised up in tha throne room up in Canterlot Castle.
"What, biatch? but mah spell was targetin tha Ponyville station." Twilight holla'd.
"Indeed Twilight yo, but I thought I would brang you all here ta speed thangs along" Celestia holla'd.
"Supa-Hoe Celestia!" Twilight exclaimed.
"Indeed, it is I, as well as Supa-Hoe Luna." Celestia holla'd.
"Hello!" Luna holla'd.
"Yo Supa-Hoe Luna!" Everyone replied.
"Now then, our phat asses aint gots much time, so I be bout ta keep dis brief." Celestia holla'd.
"Da monsta comin' at Equestria is tha freshest threat our crazy asses have faced yet, it goes by tha name Dunsparce, as you may already know. Dunsparce be a merciless monster, dat pimped all game as we know it long ago, however tha past few thousand muthafuckin years dat schmoooove muthafucka has grown restless n' bored, n' has begun ta destroy entire hoodz fo' fun. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch yo. Dude be almost straight-up unstoppable" Celestia holla'd.
"Aw shit, then how tha fuck do we beat it?" Twilight asked.
"Well, if Rainbow Dash wasn't assimilated, you could use tha elements ta defeat him, so instead it is ghon be much mo' difficult. Da only other way ta defeat Dunsparce, is ta use Discordz power." Celestia explained.
"Aaand wherez Discord right now?" Twilight asked.
"Last I heard, he up in tha Castle Library, probably smokin books again." Celestia holla'd.
"Oh, aiiight. Come on girls!" Twilight holla'd.
"Us thugs will keep tha Dunsparce off yo' backs fo' as long as we can!" Luna holla'd.
"Nuff props, nahmean biiiatch?" Twilight replied.
And so tha main charactas (minus Rainbow Dash) ran down tha hallwayz of tha castle, headin towardz tha library.
However...
As they ran, three Dunsparce broke all up in tha windows behind them!
"Oh no!" Pinkie yelled.
"Go ahead Twilight, we'll keep these monstas away!" Raritizzle yelled.
"Yeah!" Fluttershy holla'd.
"Appel!" Applejack holla'd.
"Nuff props all! I be bout ta stop Dunsparce fo' sure!" Twilight yelled.
And so she ran...
And then Twilight finally reached tha Library.
Inside Discord was smokin some books n' changin tha color of tha library fo' fun.
"I've been expectin you, Twilight Sparkle." Discord holla'd.
"Discord, is I glad ta peep you, nahmean biiiatch?" Twilight replied.
"Yes, fo'sho, you want me ta stop Dunsparce now right?" Discord asked.
"Yes muthafucka! Please n' fuck you, nahmean biiiatch?" Twilight yelled.
"Alright, jus' lemme do so-" *CRASH*
A Dunsparce enterin tha room interrupted Discord.
"DUUUUUNSPAAAAARCEEEEE" Da Dunsparce yelled.
It aint nuthin but eyes lit up, n' turned Discord tha fuck into a Dunsparce.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooo!!" Twilight yelled straight-up loudly.
Later...
A purple Dunsparce entered tha Tree library.
"Yo twilight, how tha fuck was yo' day?" Spike asked.
"Duuun." Twilight holla'd.
"That bad, huh?" Spike replied.
THE END
