Legion's Plague

"So, how do we go back home?" Jaden asked, noticing a very solid wall of undead Royal Guards between his pack and the cemetery gate.

Alexis rolled her eyes. "Simple," she said with a ghoulish grin as the jar opened. Next thing everyone knew, the zombragon was back--and it obeyed her. Or, rather, it seemed to. "I do this."

Kaleb looked at Alexis in such shock he actually went cross-eyed as a result. How did she control the damn zombragon? That question ran marathons in his mind as the beast crushed the very wall of undead Royal Guards and devoured them one by one. The Guards retaliated in the only way they could--swarm like ants and attempt to rape....'attempt' being the key word. The beast roared and brushed them off with a mighty claw before squishing them like miserable bugs. The Guards came relentlessly, and it seemed that Mommy Alexis would have to help her pet out quite a lot. It was becoming too much for her zombragon (whom she named Draco) to handle such a mass attack of guards. A smile crossed her lips once more as she was flanked by her humanoid skeleton, Chuckles, and her wolf-skeleton, Lupus. That smile meant one thing and one thing only.

Hell was going to break loose. Nothing but.

Jaden stood there. Dark weapons. Dark-affiliated enemies. Not a good combo. He made the swords disappear before taking hold of another silver-bladed sword with two small red veins in the blade--the first of which bore Russian insignia. Gold angel wings--six in total--and a red, oval ruby decorated the hilt that was wrapped in red bandages. The blade was jagged but straight, as if it had the sleek, delicate thorns of a rose. It was considerably larger than both the Devil's Sunrise and the Bloodsword combined.

Amelia clutched her guitar with one hand while the other slid into her pocket to retrieve a pick.

Lazarus strapped his broken and currently-useless cannon on his back and drew forth a slender sword. It had a simple red hilt, fiery garnet, and double-edged blade. In short, a personal longsword.

Lancelot drew his spear again and imbued himself with Rage. His dexterity and attack skyrocketed, but his intelligence was traded off as a result. In short, he was now berserk, and those who are berserk usually don't think too well due to their inherent anger.

Fang and Wing stood motionless. Their jaws had dropped.

Alexis, Lazarus, Jaden, and Lancelot began mindlessly swinging their weaponry and more limbs and guts were sent all over the place. Soon enough, the wall of undead reinforcements was no more.

The party began their trek to Ponyville, making sure Draco was put back into his little jar to avoid drawing a crowd. "How many safe places are there?" Kaleb asked, his mighty voice having subtle hints of worry.

"I dunno. All I know is all the houses, ours included, are boarded up." Alexis answered with a shrug of her shoulders.

"It makes finding food hell." Jaden added, his cockiness dissolving into concern.

"At least we're alive." Amelia commented, to which everyone nodded. They then stopped and saw a unicorn approach them. Getting close enough, they saw that the unicorn was a stallion with a green-blue mane, green eyes, and blue coat. Getting closer still, Kaleb could see an evergreen forest dotted with cerulean tiger lilies for a cutie mark.

"Hey, Glory." Nick said, patting the unicorn on the back.

The unicorn, Greenwood Glory, gave a smile. But it quickly became a frown. "Come to the town square, something weird is happening to the zombies."

"We'll kill them after....wait, what?" Alexis said, shaking her head in bewilderment.

"J-Just follow me." Glory sighed as he turned around and led the party to the town square. The zombie guards were wallowing on the ground and writhing in pain. Hoarse screams that slowly sounded filly-like escaped their decaying throats. Furthermore, their flesh-sticks were quite literally falling off and so were their tennis balls. All three of which soon turned to ash. Folds....feminine folds began developing just beneath where the testicles were.

Then blood began slowly trickling downwards from those folds. And the Guards' groans became more and more woman-like...very much--no, too much--like a woman having sex. And one Guard even sounded as if there was a glob of masculine seed in the back of her throat.

"Who modified the wolbachia virus* into this shit?!" Lazarus asked in a shriek, his eyes wide and a blush on his face. He was also....getting turned on by what was unfolding before him.

"Aphrodite and Eros are messing with you, young Godling! Control yourself!" Kaleb yelled with a face-palm.

"You are a sick fuuuck." Lancelot teased, poking Lazarus just underneath the arms with both index fingers. The God of the Winds jumped and his eyes bugged out further.

Alexis rolled her eyes and shook her head. She was going to draw her Scythe again and put the Guards out of their sexual torment and misery when a familiar....sound that could be best described as poots from some engine hit her ears.

Fang heard it too. As did Wing. Both of their ears were perked sharply.

Nick gave Glory the earring. "Take this to Twilight Sparkle immediately." He said. Glory took the earring and galloped off into the distance.

The engine's ludicrous noises continued to sound. They got closer....and closer.....and closer still.

Lazarus....somehow knew the sound. Lancelot did as well.

Amelia and Jaden looked at each other, and then turned their glances to Kaleb, who, in turn, shrugged his mighty shoulders. One could say that, out of the whole lot of unlikely and not to mention amateur heroes, they were the ones who were dumbstruck by the sound. All they knew was that some clunky machine produced it, and it wasn't the Valkyrie Tank.

In the distance, a clusterfuck of a machine was fast-approaching. And it strangely sounded like it raping innocent hens as it drew even closer still. Perhaps that was the engine?

Next thing everyone knew, a big, red machine that was crossed with a train, cider factory, and science experiment ran over all of the Guards and circled the party thrice before the trainfront stopped short of Alexis' nose. She looked up and saw a podium, and behind that podium were two unicorn stallions.

Tan pelts on both.

Green eyes.

Red-and-white manes...and one of the two having a red mustache on his muzzle.

An apple slice and the rest of the otherwise-complete apple.

And not to mention those ridiculous barber outfits and mini-hats.

A giant, gold-plated funnel was encased in a green aura and it quickly sucked up the bodies. Barrels of rotting flesh-juice were soon unloaded and catapulted from the rear of the machine before being magically placed on the open area behind the podium.

The moustachioed stallion suddenly stood next to Alexis and scared her so much she landed on her ass.

"I do believe we met before...." Started the stallion.

Alexis blinked a few times....then it came back. A cider contest was held some time ago--a few years, to be accurate. This stallion and a look-alike of his challenged her mother. And lost. That was the start of Lazarus and Lancelot's friendly relations with the family.

The stallion looked at Nick. Then, at the twins.

"As yes. Your mothers....whores, I believe, defeated us because Discord was on their side." Sighed the stallion. "Me and my brother Flim want to pay you in full...with your deaths."

"And your....defilement. We will make your bodies into cider!" Declared the other stallion angrily.

Everyone drew their weapons right then and there.