Some Letters to Celestia

Dear Celestia,

I feel no solace in saying that I have been forced to leave Manehatten and my home in search of a safe place to carry out my work. I have decided however that I would not devour the body of your student, because I too have felt the pain of losing a loved one, and I would like for you to have a funeral for Twilight Sparkle. She was truly a creature to behold, and it truly was a shame she had to die in such a matter, but we can't dwell on the past we must make way for the future. You have most likely figured this out by now, but I was kind enough to leave you some bits to help fund the funeral. These bits came out of my pocket, and feel no need to repay me, unless you want to of course. Oh my Princess Celestia how you must detest me for what I have done to you and to Twilight, and the worst part is, is that you know exactly who killed her. You have seen my face, you have seen my legs, and you have seen my arms. You have also heard my voice, and now when you have Twilights' body you feel regret that you ever trusted me. You also now know what I am capable of, but this is not the true reason I am sending this letter. I wished to send my condolences to the family and to her friends before I got on with my point, well at least most of her friends.

I believe it would be safe to assume you know the Earth pony Applejack? She was in my care a few days ago, and she quite enjoyed herself, at least that is what I saw in her eyes. Oh Applejack's eyes how they glisten like diamonds in the light. Her orange fur stained with blood and her rough skin being shattered ever so slowly. Her voice was very smooth. She truly as southern belle of a pony, and that is just what I like. A hard working pony, a tough pony, and a pony that can take a beating.

I can't take full credit for her death though. A good friend of mine who's name I refuse to relinquish assisted me in the kidnapping of her. I could not have gone back to Canterlot or Ponyville. That would be most impudent considering the sorrow I have brought to these places. So I had that pony go there for me, and borrow the young Applejack indefinitely.

So, now I shall get to the point. I dragged her into this carnival tent. There were no lights other than a few candles that I kept lit in there to help thin the smell of blood, and she was nailed to a crucifix. I was feeling like doing something fun, so I decided crucifixion would be the best route. Her hooves were neatly nailed into the splintered wood, and her head was constrained by an iron bar bolted into the wood. This was also not a very tall crucifix mind you. I was able to look her straight in the eye when I did all these things to her.

You know something that I love to hear my princess? I love to hear the crunching sound of a large iron spike penetrating bone. There is nothing like it. That and the sharp screech emanating from her mouth is just the greatest sound for you to hear. It sounds to me as if the greatest of Octavia's cello pieces were merged together in a sound that would rival a god's voice. Oh the blood as well. While there is not as much of it from just puncturing through bone the little bit there is is just he most beautiful crimson red.

I stared at her for a long while before I produced my favorite blade. It is a steel blade with a handle made from mahogany, and it slices through just about everything like butter. I set my blade to her flank and took but a miniscule amount off of her. I was slow and careful of course. I could not take off to much flesh. I slowly made the incision and then sliced around letting small amount of sweet crimson blood hit the ground right before a thin sheet of flesh did. This cut was nothing more than the deepness of a light scrape when you fall over which is nothing to die over, so I decided to cut another lay of skin off. Slowly I made another incision, and she was crying at this point. I could not tell what hurt worse. The spikes driven through her hooves or the slow skinning of her flank. I continued slicing layer after layer of paper thin flesh off her flank till I could see muscle and she was bleeding no more, but still sobbing. Her face looked like that of a child who fell off a swing set or something of that matter. Innocent, but still I could only assume in horrendous and agonizing pain.

It was supposed to be fun though, so I gave her a little game to play. I told her she had to hold two one hundred pound rocks by her legs, if she could do it she would feel very little pain, but if she could not these rocks would stretch her legs and break every bone in her legs, as well as making the wound that spikes had opened much larger. In short she was not able to hold these boulders. In long, she lasted about a minute or two and then I heard the cracking of bone and that amazing scream again. I saw that crimson blood spurt from her legs as it drove the spikes all the through her hooves and deeper into her legs. It was quite the spectacle, and I wish you could have seen it Princess Celestia.

I was forced to remove the boulders before it ripped her torso from her head which was quite the disappointment. She was begging for mercy, so I decided I would do something that I have never actually done before. I took my knife and a brick, and walked slowly walked up to her. She closed her eyes, and kept her mouth shut, so I did what any sane man would do and broke her jaw with the brick in my hand. Unable to close her jaw I took my blade and quickly cut out her tongue.

You know something Princess Celestia? Applejack can be as rude as Twilight sometimes. She didn't even try to spray the blood in a different direction. Oh well, at least I learned not to wear nice clothes while doing these things.

I then took a blowtorch, and began to weld the wound shut. I could not have her bleeding out, at least not yet.

I was at a loss of what to do next, so I decided to take something randomly from my shack of tools. What I picked up was a favorite of mine. It was the whip of nine tails. The whip contained glass, shrapnel, and other such sharp and wicked things. I began lashing her with it and flesh came off as easy as a knife slices through butter. Flesh quickly began littering the ground around me, and I think I accidentally struck an artery, because she died moments later.

Princess Celestia I apologize for the shortness of this letter, but not much happened. I have removed her organs as well as her eyes, and have sent the body to Canterlot for burial. I hope to do this again soon.

With all due respect, the Human you are hunting.