Chapter 2:
Narrator: Rainbow Dash
My name is Rainbow Dash. I have heard of a certain pony named Kick-Ass, and a rumor is going around saying Kick-Ass has been killing some of our men. What am I talking about, you ask?
A while ago, I got a job working for Angel, an asshole bunny. I do his bidding, even though he's a douche. He is a mob boss, and I am his second-in-command. Angel is trying to get Kick-Ass to be killed. They even killed a cosplayer whom they believed was Kick-Ass. I wrote down a list of what I needed, went in Angel's office and told him that the stuff on the list was all I needed. I told him I needed a costume, and I needed a car, and he had to put one of his men in jail. He got pretty angry at me because he thought I was wasting money.
"I can bring Kick-Ass to you this way," I said.
He agreed.
Narrator: Twilight Sparkle
I was watching the news with two of my friends. It turns out that a major drug dealer was arrested by a superhero named Red Mist. When I saw Red Mist, I was shocked. It was Rainbow Dash with a black and red wig on, a black mask on and a red and black costume and cape on. First Pinkie and Fluttershy, now Rainbow Dash? A few days later, it turns out that Red Mist is even more popular of a superhero than I am. When I got on my computer, I got an email from Red Mist. He said that we should hang out sometime and fight some crime.
After I saw that message, Big Daddy and Hit Girl came in through my window. I asked them how they found me.
Big Daddy said "I rerouted your IP address. It was too easy finding you, Kick-Ass."
I talked to them and asked how do I contact them.
"Just look at the signal that the mayor shines in the sky. It's in the shape of a giant cock," Pinkie said.
Big Daddy and Hit Girl exited through my window, and so did I. I went to look for Red Mist.
I stood in an alleyway.
"Kick-Ass," Red Mist shouted.
I saw Red Mist and said "Red Mist, you ready to fight some crime?" Me and Red Mist got in a red car. The license plate said "RED M1ST." I hopped into his car, and we listened to the radio and talked about fighting the crime. Red Mist texted someone on his phone.
Red Mist and I got to this burning building called "Angel's Lumber Yard." Red Mist was running to the burning building.
"Why are you running in there?" I asked.
"There's people in there!" Red Mist said.
Red Mist flew right in before I could say "Couldn't we just call the fire department...?" I ran into the building, Me and Red Mist saw a bunch of dead bodies inside, and we got lost in the burning building. When we found each other again, we flew out the door, and we escaped right before the place blew up. What was odd is that Red Mist was holding a teddy bear.
"Why are you holding a teddy bear?" I asked. "I don't know," Red Mist said.
Narrator: Red Mist
I got back to Angel's place. Angel and a police officer were there. The police officer pointed a gun at me.
"Whoa, whoa, calm down! That's Rainbow Dash!" the bodyguard said.
"Rainbow Dash is Red Mist?" the police officer said.
"Guys, I found something out about Kick-Ass. Kick-Ass is just a geek, and this can show you the real killer," I said.
I showed them the teddy bear. "What's that going to do?" the bodyguard said. "It is a security camera. It was used to spy on my nanny when I was a filly," I said. I plugged it into a TV. When I turned it on, it showed a pony dressed up in a black and yellow WonderBolts outfit killing all of Angel's goons in the Lumber Yard, then setting the place on fire. I could tell who the pony was though. It was Fluttershy. I was really upset when I saw this. I felt ashamed for working for Angel now, I walked out of the room.
To be continued in chapter 3...
My Little Kick-Ass: Superheroes are Magic
Kick-Ass characters portrayed by the MLP:
Twilight Sparkle: Dave Lizewski/Kick-Ass
Pinkie Pie: Mindy MacCready/Hit Girl
Rainbow Dash: Chris D'Amico/Red Mist/The Mother Fucker
Fluttershy: Damon MacCready/ Big Daddy
Angel: Frank D'Amico
Narrator: Twilight Sparkle
Once, I had a peaceful life, but now, I am fighting crime that's all around Equestria. Who am I, you ask? I'm Kick-Ass.
At first, I was a pony named Twilight Sparkle. I had a pretty good life in Equestria. I made lots of friends and I possess the element of magic. I write to Princess Celestia every week when I learn a new moral. But that all changed when I saw an earth pony getting robbed by pegasi. I stepped away from the window, and looked at some Equestria After Dark. Then, when I finished masturbating my unicorn horn, I opened a new tab to Amazon. I ordered a green and yellow costume, and I knew that this was when a battle would begin. When my costume came, it was a perfect fit. I chose to call myself Kick-Ass.
I walked outside, dressed up as Kick-Ass. I saw the two pegasi assaulting another person.
"Leave her alone, you pieces of shit," I said.
"Or what?" the pegasi said.
I used magic to grab one of them, and then I threw him to the ground. I kicked his ass easily. Then, the other pegasi punched me in the face. Since I was an alicorn, I chased him when he was trying to fly away. When I was flying, I saw BonBon and Lyra looking at me. They were recording the battle I had with those pegasi. I caught up to the other pegasi. I punched him really hard in the face, and he fell to the ground. I landed on the ground.
"Who are you?" Lyra asked.
"I'm Kick-Ass," I said.
The video Lyra recorded of me defeating those two pegasi actually got millions of views. Those pegasi got arrested and I found out that other people became Equestrian superheroes inspired by me. Afterwards, I got a message from Rarity via email (I made my own email for Kick-Ass because I needed requests for people to fight crime). Rarity's message told me about a rival dress-making company that is blackmailing and harassing her. Later, I came to that company and saw a bunch of ponies making dresses. I said to the person in charge "Hey! I have a message from Rarity!" The pony in charge looked at me.
"Who the fuck are you?" he asked.
"I'm Kick-Ass," I said. "And I have a message from Rarity. Leave her alone."
The pony in charge grabbed a knife like he was going to stab me. He was coming towards me. Then, a dual bladed sword stabbed the pony in charge in the heart. Behind him was a pony that looked and sounded like Pinkie Pie, holding the dual bladed sword. She looked and sounded like Pinkie Pie, but her hair was dyed purple and she wore a purple outfit and mask. Standing next to her was Fluttershy dressed up in a black and yellow WonderBolts outfit.
"Okay you cunts, let's get this party started," Pinkie Pie said.
She gave one of the workers at Rarity's rival's shop a present. The worker was unwrapping it, and when he opened it, it exploded. It killed the worker and there was a ton of blood everywhere. Then, Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie were fighting all of the workers, and killed all of the workers.
"Don't worry. We're on the same team. I'm Hit Girl, by the way," Pinkie Pie said.
Then, Pinkie pointed at Fluttershy and said "And that's Big Daddy."
It turns out that Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie were inspired by me to become superheroes. Big Daddy and Hit Girl left the room through the window, and I went through the window too.
To be continued in chapter 2.
