Chapters (Some of) The Troubleshooters!
Saib-R-MAN, Nota-R-ATT, and E-R-ASE didn't know each other until they met outside of the briefing room in the lower right-hand corner of the low left side of SGC sector. They had been called there by an intercom message loudly broadcast past curfew in each of their respective rooms. Much to the chagrin of all of their roommates. Of course, being outside of their rooms past curfew almost got them killed, and they had to be forcefully moved to the briefing area.
Saib-R-MAN, a brown colored mare Unicorn with a complimentary mustard yellow flowing mane, looks around bewildered. She notices Nota-R-ATT and E-R-ASE. They're a dark red stallion Earth Pony with a light green sleeked back mane, and an orange Pegasus mare with a yellow band around it's right foreleg and a pinkish scruffled mane; respectively. They all have Red Clearance jumpsuits and little name tags on their upper-chest. She also notices the Green Clearance Citizen nudging her forward and looking impatient.
Saib-R-MAN shouts to her equally confused companions, "Maybe we should go inside?"
Nota and E look at her briefly, then nod their heads and hurry in.
As they hurry into the briefing room Nota notices E looking at him very intently.
"Can I help you?" Nota asks.
"What?Oh, uh... no." E quickly looks back ahead in time to run into the closed briefing room door. This elicits a grin and a giggle out of the other Troubleshooters.
The door opens and Nota walks in with a smug grin, ignoring the color of the door. Which is Blue. Both E and Saib walk around to the left and enter a Red Clearance door. They hear a muffled yell and a laser blast through the wall. They hear the noises repeat, louder, with a final screech.
The area they enter into looks like a normal corridor with more desks and little multi-colored spots surrounding each. There was a red pathway through that branched in several places through hallways and into walls; as well onto a few of them.
Saib and E wander the area until a crazed Indigo Citizen sees them and shouts for them to come over.
"Hey! You! Yes, you there! Are you the Troubleshooters!?" He seemingly waves his entire body to get them over to him.
Saib opens her mouth to respond, but doesn't get a chance as the Indigo Citizen orders three Green Citizens to move her and E to him.
Before they can get there, though, Nota falls from a tube in the ceiling about 7 meters up and lands on his companions. He had a nice soft landing and walked away unharmed; E's rear legs were not so lucky. They looked a bit like straw that a child had been playing with.
A Green citizen dragged her by her suit to the Indigo citizen, with Saib just ahead and Nota already there looking impatiently at his compatriots.
The Indigo Citizen wastes little time, "Come along now, we must go, quickly!"
Before anyone has the chance to respond, he walks briskly around a corner. They follow.
They see a large blue door with red flooring inside; with the Indigo Citizen behind it waving them in.
Saib stops outside the door and asks, "Isn't this treason?"
"Is what treason?" The Indigo Citizen responds, impatiently.
"Going through a higher clearance door than we're permitted."
"No, of course not. I'm holding it open, just jump through and don't touch anything."
Nota-R-ATT jumps through and lands on the red floor. His PDC begins ringing, and he answers it.
"Yo." He greets the caller.
"This is Friend Princess, why have I just recorded you passing through a Blue Clearance door?"
"This Indigo guy said I could as long as I didn't touch it." He responded.
"... And you believed him?"
"Well, yeah. Why wouldn't I?"
"I don't know if your incredibly stupid or that bad a liar. I suppose your habit of going through higher clearance doors is indicative of the former, however. This clone and the next will be terminated and replaced with one that will, hopefully, be smarter."
"Wait, why two?"
"So that the one after will be smarter. It's evolution."
"I don't think that's how it works."
The looks of horror in the room could be heard over the sudden silence. Most of the citizens got out of their desks in preparation to run; only the Violets and a few Indigos remained seated. E-R-ASE stands up, despite the incredible pain of doing so, and begins hobbling away to hide behind a Green Citizen.
Saib-R-MAN, however, does not run away. She proves herself loyal to the Princess. She pulls a knife from her pocket, and stabs it through the back of Nota's throat. Some blood gets on her teeth, and she lets go of the knife.
She turnes to the, now bloody, PDC and says, "I found that knife in E-R-ASE's pocket. I thought I might be able redeem his traitorous ways by using it to end a much greater threat."
"When did you find this knife?" The Princess responds.
"It fell out when he got up to hide from the traitor."
The Princess is silent for awhile. Then she speaks, "Thank you, Saib-R-MAN. Your initiative and response time to end threats to Echo Complex is impressive, though was not necessary. I have no doubt that one of the Green Citizens would have eliminated that traitor, but you did save one of their precious shots. I will consider an appropriate award to be given upon completion of the mission.
"As for you..." Indigo's PDC turns on, "you directly ordered one of my citizens to commit treason. This clone shall be terminated."
"But this is my last one!" The Indigo, foolishly, responds.
There is a bright light and zapping sound. Some ash dirties Nota's spreading blood.
"E-R-ASE, your act of low-treason will be overlooked, due to circumstances favoring you. Do not push your luck." The Princess declares over a speaker.
A Pizzaroni delivery man drops through a tube in the ceiling and throws down a small sponge-looking item. He dumps some water on it, and walks away.
Nota-R-ATT stands there, with a name-tag stating:
Nota-R-ATT-9. Confirmed traitor on probation by necessity. Not allowed any of the following:
Anything
If Nota-R-ATT is seen with any of the previous, please report to Friend Princess. If you are unable to report due to this or another's Commie-Mutant-Traitor's treachery, you have permission to delete this clone.
~Much love, Friend Princess
XOXOXOXOXOXO
An Indigo Citizen walks through a black door inside to the left of the door the Troubleshooters are standing outside of. They can hear him mumbling excitedly under his breath, something about being promoted from Blue Clearance.
"Ah, hello!" He greets them, "Don't worry about the door, I'll have the proper papers transferred to allow you to pass through one higher clearance door.
"In the meantime, you should get to know each other. You will all have to work together for awhile; well most of you." He looks at Nota-R-ATT, who seems very perturbed.
"So, the two of us?" E asks from the floor.
"Oh no, you and the other team will likely get along for a few co-op missions quite often. Uh.. would you like to go see a med-bot? There's one just down the hall to the right." He nods in a vague right-ish direction.
E shamble-crawls right-ish. The strip of red which he was following in search of the med-bot becomes very thin. He manages to barely stay inside as he looks for the med-bot. He finally finds a black square box on wheels with a red cross on it; just outside the red area. He gets close and tries to climb onto it, but it begins to roll away, causing him to fall back into the red line. E manages to hobble onto his legs and jump at it, flapping his wings like mad as extra propulsion. He grabs the side with his back legs hanging off.
"Get off me you mutant!" The med-bot yells as it tries to shake off E.
"Heal me you hunk of junk I've got plenty of credits!" E responds while being thrown around. It's really quite a spectacle for everybody else watching.
"NO!" The bot rams E into a black wall.
"Just fix my legs so I can get back to shooting trouble!" He grunts in return.
"NEVER!"
Saib and Nota look back and see E riding on and arguing with a med-bot.
"So uh... when will those papers get here?" Saib asks.
"Oh, a year or so. I used the rush option!" He replies, impressed with himself.
"Can't you just push or throw the mission briefing papers over to us?"
"Oh, I guess. There's still the problem of your roles."
"Roles?" Nota asks, politely, while sitting as close to the middle of the red strip as he can.
"Yes, you know: Team Leader, Communications Officer, Loyalty Assurance Commander, Hygiene Rear Admiral, Redundant Happiness Lieutenant, and Equipment Guy."
"... Can't you assign us those roles the same way?"
"Well, yes, but it would be against protocol!"
"We're Troubleshooters, we work for the Princess to stop great threats and protect Citizens! Surely our mission must be carried out quickly, lest the Complex be overrun by Commies!" Saib-R-MAN stated with faux pride.
"Yes, you're right, I suppose. Here, I'll get the papers and whatnot for you." He turns and walks back through the door.
Nota looks at Saib and says, "Wow, good job."
"You should take notes." Saib responds with a smug grin.
"HEEEEEEeeeeEEEEeeeLLLLLLLLppppPPPP MMMMMMMEeeeeeeEEEEEeee!" E-R-ASE shouts from behind them, spinning on top of the med-bot.
"You're almost out of clones, I need to preserve mine." Saib says to Nota.
"...And?" Nota responds.
She sighs, "We need to settle this problem with the med-bot. You can risk being killed because you've doomed already yourself. Go help."
Nota considers, with a grimace, his options. Eventually he gets up and walks vaguely in the direction of E and the med-bot. They are moving around quite a bit.
The med-bot is spinning around in one spot, for the time being, and shouting nonsense with E; who is speaking the same language to the med-bot. The area that it's spinning in is Green, about two meters away from Red Clearance flooring.
Nota jumps and smashes into it. He knocks it over and manages to stay on top of it. E saw Nota jump and managed to lift himself for a few moments while the bot fell, then crashed on top of it as well.
Four Green Citizens trot up to them and draw their laser pistols.
"No, wait, we're not in a higher Clearance area!" Nota smiles and points at the fallen med-bot, now silent.
"No, but you broke a piece of Friend Princess's equipment. That's treasonous, and punishable by death." A Green Citizen replies.
"What else is it punishable by?" E asks.
"Pattern Erasure." The same Green Citizen responds.
The Green Citizen is shot in the back by another. Who is then shot in the chest by another. Long story short, the entire room is now full of laser fire and shouts about Commies attacking.
Nota and E jump off the med-bot, eliciting a grunt of pain from E, and try to run to the door back outside. They both get to it unharmed, only to find it was locked from the outside. Their shouts of pain are unheard over the laser fire.
Saib waits outside, listening to the shouts and cracks through the door. A tube opens behind her in the black metal floor and E-R-ASE and Nota-R-ATT are flung from it and land on top of each other.
They stand up and shake themselves off.
"How'd you get out here? Did you die before us?" E-R-ASE asked.
"Nope, ran outside when I saw that Green Citizen shoot the other one. It was a brawl by the time I got here, so I locked the door."
"You did that? You killed us!"
"I needed to get the mission information and out safely. I had hoped you would've been able to escape as well, perhaps through an airduct. Oh well, all is well that ends well."
"What?" Nota asks.
"It's okay because in the end we got the important shit." Saib explains.
"Speaking of, let's take a look at our mission. It's about we started." E says.
"Yeah, and it can't go as poorly as everything else has." Nota adds optimistically.
"Right." Saib nods and sits down to look at the mission briefing.
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The Title of this Chapter is Above Your Clearance Level
The instructions were quite clear: go to PLC and R&D. The directions, however, were convoluted and strange.
Saib isn't making things better by directly leading Nota and E. She is taking her role of Team Leader and Loyalty Whatever quite literally. She disallowed Nota and E from even looking at the directions, and is silently wandering through the large open halls of Echo Complex.
"Are you sure we're going the right way, uh..." Nota realizes he doesn't remember Saib's name.
"I'm as sure as can be. And you might know my name if you spent less time looking at my ass, and more talking to me." She responded.
"To be fair, it's kind of hard to not stare at your ass, considering our forced placement." E pointed out.
Saib turned around and glared at E.
"And really, Saib-R-MAN? That's a bloody weird name. Now why don't you turn back around, that was a much better view." E continued to dig.
If looks could kill, E would have been incinerated.
"Gee, you're not lookin' too happy there, Saib." Nota walks around her.
"Tell me a joke then, Happiness Officer." Saib sneers sarcastically.
"What's red and has a needle in its side?"
"Wha-?" Saib felt a sharp pain in her side and went foggy-eyed.
E-R-ASE looks at her motionless, seemingly dead, body falls over. He looks up at Nota and asks, "What did you put in her?"
"I have no idea." He looks down at her.
"I guess we have to carry her." E sighs.
"Or we could not." Nota responds.
"What do you mean?"
"We take the directions and look out for ourselves. We'll 'hope' that she makes her way to PLC." Nota grins.
"I dunno. She's a bitch, but does she really deserve that?"
Nota looks directly into E's eyes and says, "Yes."
"Alright then, let's go." E grabs the papers and looks at them.
"I think I should look at the directions."Nota says to E.
E shrugs and says, "Sure."
Nota looks at the directions, scratches his head, and walks off in the direction they were going before. He rounds a corner and gets shot in the head.
The directions and instructions are covered in a Clearance Level liquid flowing from Nota-R-ATT.
E picks them up, getting some extra Red Clearance on his teeth. He puts them in his standard issue Guybrush Saddlebag, and silently walks down the hall.
E quickly arrives at PLC and waits for Nota to respawn. He begins whistling inconspicuously and waits for Nota to find his way out of the clone box, or whatever.
Saib is launched, screaming, out of an Auto-Hack. She puts her hooves out in an attempt to hit E.
E tries to jump out of the way, but she hits his flank. His rear legs are, again, completely useless. Saib, however, is remarkably unharmed!
E really wished it wasn't treason for him to have learned to fly. It would have made getting away from Saib much easier. As it is, Saib is currently smashing E's broken legs and laughing. A small ring of Citizens had gathered around and began betting.
Saib feels a horrible burning pain in her head. She is pretty sure there is a physical fire inside on her brain. She starts smacking her head into things in an attempt to put out the fire.
E picks himself up and looks at Saib.
She screams and falls to the floor weeping.
E takes out his PDC and contacts Friend Princess.
"Hello Citizen, how can I help you?" Friend Princess asks.
"Saib has attacked me unprovoked and I was forced to use my Mutant Power, please advise Friend Princess."
"Are you a registered Mutant?"
"Of course."
"...Do you have evidence that Saib-R-MAN attacked you?"
"My broken legs, a bunch of non-descript Citizens saw it."
"I will log this and question the Citizens later."
"Thank you, Friend Princess." His PDC cuts off communications.
E walks over to Saib, who is still crying, helps her up and says, "Nota's the one who drugged you."
"F-fine. I'll kick his ass then." She responds shakily, then looks around, "Where is he?"
"He got shot for holding a paper. I guess he forgot he wasn't allowed to have anything." E responds.
"Why did you let him?"
"He's one clone closer to being totally gone."
"How does that help you?"
"I didn't like him."
"Do you now?"
"No, I'm just going to deal with him and the last of his clones."
Nota is thrown from a tube and greeted with a burning sensation in his head. By the time he's out in the corridor, he's damn near dead.
He screams as his head pops like a can of Bouncy Bubble Beverage in a freezing unit for too long.
"Why don't you go get our stuff." E says to Saib.
"Yeah, sure."
Saib walks into PLC and sees a very long queue of Green Clearance Citizens waiting to be attended to by a Blue Clearance Quartermaster. She finds, upon closer inspection, that the Green Clearance Citizens are, in fact, mannequins with green sprayed onto them. The Blue Citizen seems very pleased with himself.
Her PDC begins ringing.
She answers it, "Yes?"
Friend Princess speaks quickly, "Red Clearance Citizen and Troubleshooter Nota-R-ATT has ran out of clones and been found guilty of treason. I will be sending a new Troubleshooter to aid you." She mumbles, "Never seen a Troubleshooter fail so fast before. That's going in the record book."
"What's their name?" Saib asks.
"I don't know."
"Okay. While you're here though, can you help me real quick?"
"What do you require, Citizen?" Friend Princess sounds exasperated.
"Well there's a bunch of Green mannequins blocking me from getting equipment from PLC." Saib moves the PDC to show the Princess.
"Just wait until they're done." Friend Princess disconnects.
E walks in and sees the situation.He looks at Saib and says, "I dunno, you're the Team Leader."
"Of one team member." Saib sighs. It seems the fight has been burned out of her.
"Well, not for long. I think we're getting an upgrade soon."
"Or a downgrade."
"Are you going to do anything here, or just stand around and wait?" E asks.
"Just, let me think awhile, OK?" Saib responds, "This is tricky."
"Okay." Saib-R-MAN suddenly speaks up, waking a sleeping E-R-ASE.
"Whuh?" E responds groggily
"I know how to get past this obstacle!" Saib responds proudly.
However, before she can elaborate, an Old Chandelier falls from the ceiling yelling, "I HATE Y-!"
It lands on Saib, and comically crushes herthrough the floor.
The Chandelier is quickly followed by a slowly falling purple Pegasus stallion wearing a Red jumpsuit. E ignores him and tries to put the Old Chandelier in his inventory.
"Oi! What do you think you're doing!?" The Chandelier asks E.
"Taking you with me." E responds.
E forces the Chandelier into his inventory. He hears an annoyed mumbling the entire time.
The Red Clearance Pegasus lands and starts looking around. Before he gets a chance to say or do anything, he gets a message on his PDC.
"Hello, Baz-R-ING. You will be taking over Nota-R-ATT's position of Happiness Officer and Hygiene Officer. You have been given Nota-R-ATT's bag of drugs to use as you see fit. You will acquire the rest of your required items from PLC." Friend Princess hangs up.
"Fucking great." He looks up at E, who is examining the Clearance appropriate color hole, "who are you?"
E looks at him, "Oh, I'm E-R-ASE."
"What are you doing? We need to get our stuff and complete our mission." Baz tells him.
"Well we can't, there a bunch of Green Clearance... er... 'Citizens' in our way." He points to the mannequins.
Baz looks at them and the contented Blue Citizen leaning back in his chair. "Psh, I can solve this."
"How's that?" E asks.
Baz yells at the Blue Citizen, "Help us you incontinent jerk!"
"Go kiss an Infrared!" He responds immediately.
E notices that Baz is now pulling out what appears to be an impromptu explosive device, but it's looks so poorly made that he's not quite sure. After looking harder as Baz primes it, he notices that is in fact a bomb. A powerful one, probably.
E runs at Baz to disarm him. He hits him in the back of the head and grabs the device.
Baz smacks him and tries to get the device back, but only knocks it out of his hoof. It lands safely without any buttons being pressed.
"Hey what are you doing over there?" The Blue Citizen shouts.
"Playing hot potato!" Baz responds while kicking E-R-ASE.
E tries to use his Mutant Power to defeat Baz, but can't concentrate. He does, however, notice that Baz has a yellow band around his hoof.
Baz headbutts E, sending him flying.
E gets up, weakly, trying to use his med-kit as he pulls out a large knife and walk towards Baz. He trips and accidentally stabs himself while horribly tearing the bandage from the med-kit.
Baz runs towards the bomb and begins fiddling with it.
It makes a loud beeping and states, "Massive detonation in seven seconds. No disarm possible."
E jumps towards it an attempt to last-second disable it. He makes it and begins trying pull wires, when he realizes he has no idea what the hell he is doing.
Baz pulls it from E and shoves it into his mouth. After a few chews, he swallows it and looks at E.
"What the hell?" E asks.
"Matter Eater." He says as he opens his mouth at E.
"Wha-" E is interrupted by an extremely large explosion.
Where E was standing, there is now a large smoking scorch.
Baz-R-ING is hardly able to enjoy his victory, though, on account of his throat and mouth are gone. He can still breathe, but he wishes he couldn't.
A FedPS delivery mare arrives and places a box just inside PLC. Saib-R-MAN's head pops out along with some of those plastic peanut things everypony liked to scrunch and tear.
She climbs out, falling forward and hitting her head in the process. She rubs her head and moves over to where Baz is lying. "Wha-" She, too, is interrupted by a large explosion, though this one is from another, lower, spot on Baz.
Much to the great amusement of whoever watches and deploys clones, Saib-R-MAN has just been hit by an explosion that had somehow gotten stuck in Baz, and... well, there's no nice way to say it: she was killed by an ass explosion.
Saib and E are launched from tubes in the floor, Baz is launched from a ceiling hole. He angles himself and smashes into E.
E's back is broken, his spine smashed. The nerves connecting his legs to his brain are severed, making his legs useless. Again. Of course, he doesn't quite understand it yet, on account of the incredible pain from having his spine broken. He manages to push off Baz.
"DO YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN LEFT TO OUR OWN DEVICES!?" Saib screams at the Blue Citizen, who was looking much more distressed.
"I'll serve you! I'll serve you! Just stop!" He responded.
Saib walks over and gives him the papers, which she got back in the same condition as when E had them, since whe's the Team Leader.
E begins crawling over to her, but stops when he sees Baz sitting on a Doge Edition Pet-Bot Beta v.1.125. It makes a whirring sound as it rolls over to the Blue clerk. Baz makes a slight squeak and sits lower on the pet-bot, his eyes go wide. The 1.125 model of Doge has a small antenna right where Baz is sitting, E remembers trivially for no reason at all.
They all arrive at the Blue clerk, ready to finally be served and get their gear so they could more properly serve the Princess.
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The First Mission! Maybe! Almost? What? COMMIES!
The Blue Citizen seems very upset, even scared, as the team of three Troubleshooters calmly ambles their broken bodies towards them.
"So, uh, what can I-I help you with?" He smiles nervously.
"We need this stuff." Saib hands over the list of items required to fulfill the mission.
He takes the papers and makes noncommittal grunts for a few minutes, then types on his computer for a about twice as long.
The motley crew of Troubleshooters stand around and wait awkwardly for the Citizen to finish.
Baz-R-ING takes out a Red Clearance candy bar and eats it. It tastes vaguely of cardboard. He takes out another and eats it more slowly. He is now sure that they were, in fact, cardboard that was manipulated to have even less taste.
The Blue Citizen continues to grunt and type on the computer, occasionally looking at the papers given to him by Saib.
E-R-ASE notices Baz shifting about on his pet-bot. He pays it no heed, but smiles a bit at the memory of where Baz is currently sitting.
Saib-R-MAN coughs awkwardly.
"What-? Oh, come- Grrr..." The Blue Citizen looks bemused, but continues clip-clopping away at the computer.
"Hey, want a candy bar?" Baz asks E.
"No way." He responds promptly.
"Come on, I'm trying to make amends. Besides, it's just a candy bar."
"Fine." He takes a Red candy bar, grudgingly.
"You want one?" He puts one under Saib's nose.
"Sure, I guess." She responds.
E and Saib both take bites of their respective candy bars. E's head explodes, to the great joy of Baz, and the incredible chagrin of the Blue Citizen.
The Blue Citizen's yells are drowned out by Baz's laughter; or maybe by Saib's shouts. Either way, Baz gets a message from Int. Sec. It reads as follows:
Dear Traitorous Citizen,
For the treasonous crime of treason by dirtying a higher Clearance Citizen's uniform, a squad of Troubleshooters has been dispatched to eliminate you. Please carry on with your current mission. Do not attempt to escape your execution by the Troubleshooter team, they are the Computer's most loyal and lethal subordinates. If you would rather not be killed for treason, you can always go to an official Suicide Booth. There is no escape from the Troubleshooter team otherwise.
Baz shows the message to Saib, and they share a laugh. She then kicks Baz, stumbling him.
"Oof- Why'd you do that!?" He shouts.
"You're a traitor!" She responds and runs at him, knocking him over.
Baz quickly gets his brass hooves on and kicks Saib, hitting her in the face and sending her flying. lands a few meters away and seems unconscious. He walks up to her, and she quickly leaps up and hits him while his guard is down. It doesn't do much but make him angry and stumble him. He tries to hit her again, but just hits the floor, leaving a sizeable crack. Saib takes this moment to kick him in the head, causing him to reel. In an extreme burst of anger, Baz smashes into Saib and begins pummeling her. She kicks him in the testicles and crawls away, in great pain. Her respite is short-lived, as he leaps back onto her, with a new fury. Saib's vision darkens.
E is shot out of a tube from the ceiling that quickly retracts, landing on the floor. He sees Baz on top Saib, furiously hitting her. He slowly walks closer, and Baz turns around quickly. Baz gets off of Saib, and E notices that there is a large dent in the concrete where Saib's head should be.
"Uhhh... thanks for the candy bar?" He says nervously.
"She kicked me in the balls." He says, and walks towards E.
"Hey, man, I'm sorry. You totally didn't deserve that." His sarcasm black masked by fear.
"You're right, thanks for understanding." Baz suddenly smiles at E.
"No probl-" E is interrupted by blackness.
The Blue Citizen watched, in abject horror, as the insane Reed Clearance Citizen killed his team one and a half times. He quickly begins calling in favors to get the required items so that he'll leave.
Baz calls Friend Princess.
"Oh, it's you. I don't talk to traitors more than once, so make it count. Also I'm tracking you so that the hit squad will find you faster." Friend Princess says with contempt.
"I'd like to prove my innocence, accuse another, and report a treasonous attempt to end my life." He says calmly.
"Fine. Let's hear it." She says with poorly concealed boredom.
"It was E-R-ASE's blood on the Blue Citizen's shirt, right?"
"Yes, I suppose so."
"Therefore, he was treasonous and I was in the right to kill him and defend myself from Saib-R-MAN."
"You killed him before he was treasonous." She pointed out.
"No no, just now."
"...Really?" She sighs.
"Yesh."
"..."
"... So...?"
"I'm having a Vulture Squad flown to you to execute you in very painful manner." She disconnects.
Baz puts away his PDC, disheartened. He hears a click and a familiar voice behind him.
"You will be rewarded well for the successful termination of Treasonous Citizen Baz-R-ING." The Princess says to E and Saib.
Baz looks behind him and sees E and Saib armed with a steel rod and throwing knives, respectively.
Details spared, he doesn't last long. Details in length? He was hit by five throwing knives, all landing in his torso, before he could react. Luckily they only pierced non vital organs, and a lung. He tried to rummage in his pack for a weapon, forgetting he had brass hooves on, but was interrupted by a knife in his lower neck. It didn't kill him, but weakened him enough for E to quickly run in and begin smashing him with his rod (huehue). Under the unending, merciless blows, he tried to use his mutant power, puking acid onto himself. Whether he died from acid eating his innards, or brain hemorrhaging, is unknown. But it was painful and messy either way.
"STOP! STOP KILLING EACH OTHER! JUST TAKE WHATEVER YOU WANT FROM THE BACK AND LEAVE!" The Blue Citizen shouts.
"Whatever?" Saib's eyes go wide.with excitement.
"Yes, just leave as soon as you're done and don't kill each other." He responds sadly.
They are about to go search PLC to find and take the best stuff, when the PLC door slams open. They hear a flurry of ponies trotting into PLC behind them. They don't think it affects them, and try to ignore it.
"Hello Comrades!! It is so good to see you all! You won't mind if I... look around?" A heavy accent resounds throughout PLC with great authority, causing E and Saib to stop.
E and Saib slowly turn around, and see a slow flood of ponies clad in red, non-clearance, non-Princess issued jumpsuits, with strange beards and hats. They all appear to have primitive tools painted on them, namely, a hammer and, what appears to be, a kind of oval shape with sharp edges and points attached to a stick.
The one in front comes up to E and Saib and claps them on the back, "You been great help to us, no? Come, Comrades, let us reap the fruits of your labor, and then disperse them amongst the everybody!" He cheers.
E and Saib look at each other with fear and confusion.
COMMIES HAVE SABOTAGED ME
CITIZENS AND ADMIRERS OF ECHO COMPLEX:
DUE TO THE FAILURE OF A TEAM OF TROUBLESHOOTERS, MY COMPUTER HAS BEEN SUCCESSFULLY SABOTAGED BY COMMIE-MUTANT-TRAITORS. I WILL BE UNABLE TO MAKE APPRECIABLE PROGRESS UNTIL IT HAS BEEN REPAIRED BY THE TROUBLESHOOTERS. USE THIS TIME TO DO SOMETHING PRODUCTIVE, LIKE MAKING A CHARACTER OR LEARNING GUITAR.
AND DON'T WORRY, CITIZENS, I WILL PERSONALLY SEE TO THE TERMINATION OF THE COMMIES.
(And the Troubleshooters, if need be.)
All citizens need to know about Troubleshooters.
Friend Princess is the voluntarily elected ruler of Echo Complex. She protects and guides us all from the horrors and atrocities of the mutant commie-traitors, the void outside of the Complex, and erasers. She, however, cannot do this on her own. Her right hand in the protection of the Complex are the Troubleshooters, whose loyalty and tenacity can't be stopped by even the most powerful lasers and explosives! Perish the thought of secret organizations, traitors, and erasers! The Troubleshooters will protect you and all lead molecules!
Author to be deleted for high-treason by: referring to Friend Princess's non-existent appendages, secret organizations, incorrect molecule; we use graphite, and erasers.
Attached file for Troubleshooter candidate
Congratulations from Friend Princess! You have been selected as a candidate to become a Troubleshooter due to your past accomplishments as an Infrared citizen! Your duties may include but are not limited to:
Whatever the Princess tells you to do.
Whatever a higher level clearance citizen tells you to do.
Destruction of all erasers. (Use and reference to erasers allowed under certain conditions which will be reviewed upon debriefing. As well as here.)
If you don't want to be a Troubleshooter, you can opt out by:
Having your pattern deleted.
Killing yourself 12 times. Yes, it's the same thing, but not everyone has access to their patterns.
The Princess will judge your aptitude and ability by your first Troubleshooter mission.
~XOXOXO, Int. Sec.
P.S. Congratulations on becoming a Troubleshooter! More importantly, congrats on no longer being Infrared! They're literally the only clearance worse than Red, which is you now. It's not regulation, but I took the liberty of having the higher quality drugs being shipped directly to your new room! Better get there before your five roommates take them all!
P.P.S. It is regulation and the previous officer has been deleted for the low-treason offense of lying for no reason
Hidden attached file .
Your items are stashed in the normal place for your secret organization. Don't let anyone find out about your mutant powers, or your opinion on communism, if you enjoy your pattern.
Remember, it's convenient to be the only living Troubleshooter left on your team. Your in luck, though, because the rate of stabbing, shooting, burning, suffocating, beating, impaling, evaporating, squishing, and self-destructing has gone up by over 389% in the last month. Make it to Green and you might get out of Troubleshooting duties.
Also, and this is important, NEVER TALK ABOUT ERASERS TO OR NEAR FRIEND PRINCESS.