Chapters Suggested listening
"Take a right on Fern street and it'll be the red brick building," I said, my breath clinging to the air.
The couple smiled before saying their thanks, hurrying towards the shop. This seemed to be my job now. Never would have thought being a guard meant being a walking info booth, but I suppose it's better than getting sent to Saddle Arabia. At least it wasn't as bad as what the pegasi had to do, flying around in the cold must be absolutely exhilarating in an I'm freezing to death kinda way.
Granted, being stuck on the ground was a limitation, but the real kicker was the whole no magic thing. Being normal when most guards aren't is a good way to get the worst assignment. A whole regiment of Earth ponies was formed after the attack on the castle, part of a brute force play, which only served to alienate us further from the normal guards. I can't really complain, though. I'd much rather be out here in the cold, actually helping people, than stuck in the palace all day and forced to deal with snot nosed nobles.
Their holier than though routine was rather grating, and the highborn mares were too snooty to even glance my way. Not that I needed it, getting flank was never a problem. Every time a mare I knew came to town I ended up scoring pretty well. One of them was supposed to get here by noon, so maybe I'll head over and pick her up-
"Grey," I whispered to myself. There she was again, staring through the window of a coffee shop along my patrol route. She wore the same beige coat, the same pink beanie, the same joyless expression. But this time something new sat around her neck, a long purple scarf with a small embroidery snaked itself around her.
Say something, Vanguard, say something! Go say hello! Go tell her what you think, tell her she's beautiful.
My brain continued to scream, while my body just turned away and walked on my patrol, glancing back once or twice to see the mare leaning in and looking into the shop. I'd never had a problem talking to mares before, never like this. Not since I realized about the shortage of males back in school had I felt this nervous, mares lining up to see me and parents trying to hook me up with their kids. I got over it all, but... she did something to me, something I can't explain... something about the way she stands, the way she moves. Her very presence made her untouchable.
I lowered my head and walked on, a heavy weight fell on my shoulders forcing my head towards the ground as I walked. I felt low, like I had failed myself by not talking to her, like I had let someone die while on duty. I gave a final glance back, and the mare was gone. She had vanished in the few seconds I had taken to wallow in my own self pity.
I shook my head at my own stupidity. I needed to talk to her, I needed to at least know her name. With that final thought, I focused on making my way to the train station. Vinyl always found a way to cheer me up- mostly involving debauched sex, but sometimes by being funny or cute. Not often, but still it was something. I need someone to talk to, anyways.
"Vanguard! Hey!" Vinyl ran over and wrapped her arms around me, my hooves lifting up and off the ground. "Couldn't bare to let me find you?" She gave a tight squeeze before letting go, saying, "Just had to come to me, eh?"
I gave a single chuckle before shrugging. "What can I say, you really know how to warm me up." I wrapped my arms around her and gave her rump a quick squeeze.
She let out a loud gasp as her body pressed against my own. "Oh, you perv!" She pushed me off with a laugh, "Save it for later. Anyways, what's up? I haven't seen you since it snowed, and that was like, two months ago!"
I scratched the back of my head as the tiny mare stared at me. "Eh nothing much, people keep talking about the war. So far my card hasn't been called so I'm not too worried." I looked around, "Actually, can we walk and talk? I'm technically still on patrol." I laughed.
Vinyl quickly returned my laugh with one of her own before walking off. "Just couldn't wait, could ya? Come on then!" She grabbed my wrist and started pulled my off the platform, "So, they're already talking about it?"
I swallowed hard. We've been at war with Saddle Arabia for almost two years now, and each day it seemed to be getting closer. "Yeah...Pixel's brother came back in a box. Hit him hard. You'd think the whole gun thing would make us unstoppable, but those Saddle bastards love their flasks." I was nearly snarling as I recalled our training video.
Vinyl shifted uncomfortably. "Can we not talk about ponies getting vaporized? I just got here, and I'd rather talk about something else... anything else, really."
Things got quiet. I knew what she was hinting at, but decided to try my luck. "Hey Vinyl...you meet a lot of people, right? You ever meet a grey mare with a purple scarf?"
I felt her wrap her arm around my own. "What?! Am I not good enough for you?" She only managed to keep a straight face for a few seconds before giggling. "Black mane?"
"So you do know her," I let my arm pull out of her grip and land on her waist, slowly sneaking it towards her back pocket. "I see her every day when I walk past the coffee shop on Fetlock."
"Well...I wouldn't say I know her. I know who she is, she's a cellist. She doesn't ever talk to people outside her band, though. Why do you want know?"
"Well I- I see her every day and...she's rather...I would like to talk to her. " My last phrase came out like a robot.
"Then go talk to her. Who knows, she might actually say something to you!" I felt her reach into my back pocket. "But if not, then hey! Still got me." Her hand quickly dug in, causing me to drag a hoof on the path, "Just... don't be sad if she doesn't say anything. She's got some issues, I think. From what I heard, she's been like this for a few years or so. But hey, even if you are sad I'm sure I can find a way to cheer you up."
I swatted her bum with my tail, causing a small gasp, "Sometimes I think you just hang around with me so you don't ever have to pay for a hotel... granted, I'm not complaining, but still...it's fun rolling around with you and all, but-"
"Damn right it is!"
"But , it's not great for a healthy relationship." I took a moment and looked at my watch. "Crap. Here, climb up." I pulled her hand out of my pocket and ducked down. "Gotta hurry, they find me late with a mare they'll dock my pay...again."
"You just like this cause-" She wrapped her arms around my neck as I lifted her thighs under my arms, "Cause my boobs land on your head."
Just as she said, with her height her chest sat heavy on my crown. "A little...doesn't help when I run." I laughed taking to the streets. Her breasts bouncing off my head with bound. "But I really am going to be late if I don't hurry."
"Dude, I don't mind if you don't. Ahh...feels nice when I'm not the one carrying 'em."
"Celestia help us. If you ever want me to help carry your boobs, just ask, but right now I'm really gonna be late."
I came to a stop at my route's start, where a deep navy bat mare stood leaned against a light post. "Sir!" She said, snapping to attention. "Ready to relive you!"
I set Vinyl down and walked over, giving her a salute in return. "Pommel, I told you, don't call me sir."
"But I-" she stammered. "Yes sir- I mean...uh...you know. Hello Vinyl. It's been a while."
Vinyl stepped forward, hugging the bat mare and causing a small blush from the presence of her breasts, "I can feel you fidget. I told you what to do, bananas and milk and you'll have em bigger in no time!" She gave another quick hug before breaking off and walking past me. "Stay safe Pommel!"
"Aye! Stay safe!" I yelled back as Vinyl and I left Pommel to her duties. "So what now?"
Vinyl returned her hand to my pocket, as did I. "Well I'm kinda hungry...you gonna feed me?"
I gave a devilish grin, "Depends on what you mean by feed."
"Hmm...how about we save the dirty jokes until after we get some real food? I didn't eat on the train."
"Well that's hardly my fault. I have some leftovers in my fridge, we can eat and then discuss the finer points of how I'm going to- ...going to...uh...." I trailed off.
"Dude, you okay?" She snapped in front of my view a few times before tracing my vision. "Oh," She caught the tail glace of the grey mare walking into a diner. "Wow, she's...hot. Amazing what a change of clothes can do."
"Tell me about it."
"Well you gonna go talk to her?" Vinyl smirked.
"Maybe another time. I don't want to seem creepy, and crossing the street just to talk to someone is kinda creepy."
Vinyl shook her head, "Whatever dude... let's hurry, gotta eat, then we can get down to me-" she groped herself, "-and you." She pointed at my groin with her free hand, "Two months is a long time without a good rutting, for both of us."
I could only laugh. "Maybe you should settle down... I mean, I won't always be around to satisfy your carnal desires, y'know. That said, I am looking forward to seeing how snugly you can fit me between milky thighs."
She lowered her glasses so I could see her pop her eyebrows. "We'll just have to see."
As we walked, I subconsciously looked back to the shop the grey mare had entered, where I could see her standing outside, soft steam rolling out of a cup of coffee in her hands. She looked so stoic, like nothing in the world could ever move her. Not happy, not sad, calm, or angry. A truly neutral expression that made me worry what was she hiding.
Author's Note
Expect 1:1 clop : story
...Does she like other music?
"So what did you make?" Vinyl asked, hanging her hat up on my coat rack. Her ears twitched wildly from their new found freedom. As hard as it was to think of her as "cute" after everything we've done, it was adorable, "So...you gonna answer or should I just go find out on my own?"
I set my cap down and pulled off my jacket. "It's...uh...what did I make." I hurried past her and into my kitchen. The fridge was full of day old stuffed breads, "Oh right...they brought a bunch of these back from Saddle, stuffed with cheese and stuff. Pretty good." I ripped open a bag and tore the rest out. A quick toast and they would be perfect, "Ya know...I feel bad for what's happening over there...but, when you see the aftermath of a sprite bomb...well-"
"Dude! Can we not...seriously, talk about banging me, talk about eating, talk about that mare, but let's not talk about vaporized ponies!" She walked over and laid her head across my chest, "Seriously...let's just eat."
"Sure...." Wow, I hadn't realized that would bug her so much. I walked her to the den and sat her down. The bread was done soon and I brought over the four stuffed breads. With a heavy clunk the plates were down and I joined her on the couch. I quickly took one, folded it in half, and started eating. Vinyl took a second to stare at hers before starting.
...Does she have a colt-friend?
"Sorry...that was weird." Vinyl said with a strange tone, "Reports are finally getting back. They tried to hide it for so long...I remember the first time I asked you about it you sai-"
"I only know as much as they tell me.... In all fairness that is true. Anyways...mind if I-"
"About the mare?"
I lowered my head and took another bite, "Yeah."
"Ya know she's not a monster...you can talk to her. She won't bite, well...she might, but I highly doubt it."
I finished up with the deliciously spiced cheese, "I know, but it just feels like I would be, I don't know, creepy?" Vinyl finished soon after, I took both the plates into the kitchen, "I mean, I don't even know why I want to talk to her, but I do!"
...Where does she live?
"Then do it, dude. And hurry up, I got something to take your mind off her." I gave a quick chuckle as I finished up the dishes. A few steps later I was confronted not with a half naked Vinyl but a bright blue hoof resting on my side of the couch, "Check it out, painted it."
I rolled my eyes, walked over, and sat under her hooves, "Here I was expecting the amazingly perverted DJPON3 to be half dressed already." I took her hoof in hand and looked it over, "Huh...so this the newest hit from the scene?" I asked with a laugh.
"Not yet, gonna make it a thing though!....And dude...you can do what ever you want to me, but today, you take the lead."
"Really...? Good to know," I quickly jammed my thumbs into the soft of her hoof, her quick gasp meant I had hit my mark. I slowly worked my thumbs around the ring of her hoof, her gasps slowly turning to moans, "Ladies and gentlecolts, watch as I make the amazing DJ PON3"- I pulled her waist across my lap, Vinyl's eyes shooting wide as she felt me poking her rump, -"sing~"
"Dude I will nev- Er-er- ahhh~" I let my hand rub against the crotch of her jeans, making sure to dig in just a little upon the return, "Ah! Got some- practice I oh~ see." I could feel her legs closing up around my hand, trying to jostle her junk just a little more. I stopped for a moment, letting my thumb trace her love button through the jeans, "Oh dude~"
"Alright...enough warm up, I'm sure-" I hooked my hands under her belt, unhooked her fly and yanked her jeans up her legs, revealing a rather damp pair of blue striped panties, and a needy mound behind it, "Eeyup.... Dear Celestia I love it when I'm right."
"Oh shut up and- Ahh~" I resumed my onslaught with much less resistance, the dampness now seeping though and moistening my fingers as they dug into her ever so slightly. I let my ring and middle finger press hard, threatening to cave in the soft fabric. My other hand was having trouble controlling both her legs, twitching wildly and trying to contract.
"And now," I hooked my hand under the thin string of her panties and yanked them up her leg to join her pants, bunched up around her fetlocks. I held her legs together with my left, hooking my arm around to keep them under control. With her ready, I managed to fish myself out of my uniform, ready to go at a moments notice. I lined myself up and looked past her legs. "You ready?" I asked the thrown back mass of hair that was Vinyl.
"Dude...just let me-" She shifted herself, running her warm slit against my tip, "Should...never mind..."
I gave her a small poke, my body more eager than my mind, "What's wrong?"
"Shirt's still on...just...oh screw it." Vinyl let her arms fall to her side, digging into the couch cushions, "You want me to loosen up my legs a little or-" She tried to widen her hips only for me to hold them back closed, "Dude...you're gonna get crushed."
"Trust me," I pressed against her slit, wiggling her open little by little before sinking my head in, "Oh~ Trust me...that's just how I like it."
She gave out breathy moans as I sunk it in, her walls crushing me from the added pressure of her legs, "Oh dude~ Oh shit, dude." I hugged her legs as I slowly pumped her, she added her own by weakly slamming her hips back. "Dude...just- Ah!" She gave a high pitched squeal before throwing her head back hard, "Harder dude...ah~ just don't cum inside."
"What?" I slammed inside and held it, her organ mirroring a night in her club, "Celestia~ ah damn, aren't you- cripes, on something?"
"I forgot, ah~ don't stop dude keep going! I forgot pills." She tried her damnedest to ride my pole while I held her legs in place against my chest, "Luna, dude, you're a good eight inches inside of me, why the hell are you stopping!?"
I tightened my grip on her legs and leaned in, pressing myself even deeper into her and bending her legs over her body, "You do realize I don't want to stain this couch, right? Be ready for it."
She opened her mouth and swirled around her tongue, "Don't be shy. Ah!"
"Oh shut up with the dirty jokes," I resumed my thrusts. Vinyl had finally shut up, taking a pillow and covering her mouth to keep from squealing, "Dear Luna's ghost, ah- So I really can't bust inside of you?"
She gave a strange negative answer. I rolled my eyes and focused on railing her.
The heat from her groin was immense, biting back the dim cold of my apartment. After a few more vigorous thrust I could feel her giving up, leaving me to work for two. I looked past her legs for a final time, only a pair of beet red ears and blue hair stuck out against the cream of my couch, "Vinyl- ah~ it's almost time."
"No dude- no no no ah! Just a little more."
"I'm not gonna be able to last much damn longer!" I snorted. Looking down I had one thing in front of me. I heard things about mares with sensitive hooves before and lacking other means I dipped my head and ran my tongue along the inside of her hoof.
"Oh! D-ear- ah- AH!" She squealed as she peaked. Her insides spasming wildly, forcing me to pull out.
"Vinyl open- hurry!" I shifted off the couch and over to her in seconds.
"Do it dude...do i-" I held her head sideways and dug my member into her mouth. Her eyes shot wide before closing. Her mouth quickly coxing out my waiting seed. With a final swirl of her tongue around my head I burst into her mouth.
"Oh shi-t...." She took a moment and started moaning through my member. My brain went wild as I resisted the urge to push myself into her throat. Each spurt was quickly followed with a soft lap against my tip. I could feel it each time she swallowed, her muscles contracting ever so slightly around me as she did.
With the act coming to an end I pulled away with a vulgar pop. Vinyl made it a point to keep some of the sticky liquid floating on her tongue. A quick swirl later and she was clean, "Dude...that...man, no better way to beat the cold." She placed a hand on her stomach, "I can feel it...man....we should do that more...dude?"
I had laid down on the floor next to the couch, "Just need a minute...or two...or three." In direct defiance of my last few words I stood and slid myself under her, letting my member rest between her thighs, "Man...this really is warm."
Vinyl started squirming around, "Almost dude...then nap time," She grabbed my hands and pulled them around her, guiding my hands to her now exposed breasts, "And one last thing..." She levitated a nearby throw blanket over and and set it down, "There...much- ah- hey...not too rough....better."
I let my left hand fumble mindlessly with her tit while my right groped the entire breast, "Yeah, much." I drifted into a light nap with Vinyl resting on top of me.
I... ...I wonder what her name is...
Author's Note
CLOP PANDERING! YAY!
(EDIT: Same as the last one- grammar- but I also moved a few things about.)
I wandered around my house, "Vinyl? Vinyl?! Where the tartarus is she...?"
"Bathroom dude!" Well...that narrows it down. I hurried into my bathroom, Vinyl was sitting half submerged in the tub, "I smelled like you, granted I normally like that smell but...I figured if we run into that mare of yours it'd be better to not reek like me." She lifted a leg out of the water, "Should I keep the blue?" She pointed to her hoof.
I shook my head, "Well I kinda like it...better than nothing, and it matches your hair...might go magenta...match your eyes."
She blushed before lowering her muzzle under the water. I was one of the few people to see her without the glasses on, granted the first time I saw her eyes I had physically knocked her glasses off with a rather vigorous thrust, "Sorry dude but I can't really bend over in here...wish I could, but unless you just want to get blue balled watching me you should probably leave." Her hands came up out of the water and dove down towards her crotch, "I mean I won't make you leave but I don't want you jerkin it into the tub...as dirty as this might be I'm still trying to get clean."
I started laughing hard. "Alright then, and my advice, keep em blue." With that I walked out, I needed to get some breakfast before patrol started. Lucky her, I always make enough for two.
"Potato...yes." I mumbled to myself, "Salt...yes-"
Vinyl wandered into the room in a bra and panties, "Dude smell my fingers," A white hand with blue nails was quickly forced into my face.
"Vinyl, really?"
"I'm serious. I need to know if you think people will notice."
I pushed her hand away, "Did ya clean under your fingernails?"
"Yes. look just smell em!" She pressed two fingers against my upper lip, the particular smell of Vinyl sat lightly on them.
"They smell...but I don't think anyone will notice. Better question, why do mares come in different flavors and smells?" I asked jokingly.
Vinyl gave me a wry smile, "We also cum in different flavors dude, thought you'd know that by now." She whispered, wrapping her arms around my stomach and pressing her breasts against my back, "You like how that feels?"
I finished with my food and plated two servings, "Well they fit better in my hands but I won't complain." I picked up the plates and slowly waddled over to the table, "Vinyl...go get the food and let me go."
"Yeah, see, I would...but I'm not wearing pants-"
"I noticed." I interjected with a laugh, setting the plates down, "So because you're not wearing pants you're not going to let me go?"
"Sort of?" She stated, unsure herself, "I'm not gonna sit on some cold seat all by myself, just sit down first and you'll see."
"Or...you could...oh I don't know, put some pants on." I groaned, taking a seat.
I was about to fork a bit of baked potato into my mouth when suddenly a meaty weight fell into my lap, my vision quickly filling with blue streaks, "Ah...all the enjoyment of sitting, without any of the cold." She shifted her hips, trying to get comfortable, but only managing to coax my out of hiding, "Oh! Hey there little guy~" She made sure to seat my member between her cheeks, effectively trapping me and turning my member into a saddle.
"Dear Luna...really- I thought you didn't want to do this?" My fork was ripped away from my hands, my food stolen.
"Do what?" She asked, grinding a small circle into my lap, "I said I didn't want to smell like sex and if you cream yourself that's your issue." I could hear her jamming a fork into a plate, "Good potato by the way, way to earn this dance." She bounced a little, forcing me further between her, "So if you shoot your load...it's gonna end up all over your stomach right?" She craned her head back and shifted her weight forward, "Yep...I can see your head poking out."
I quickly looked down, sure enough my member was sneaking out of my waistband, "Cripes Vinyl..." I yanked my sleep shorts up, "Behave yourself, for the love of Luna."
"Hmm...how do I put this lightly.... No." She wiggled further down, letting her tail ride up my chest, "Morning lap dance is best lap dance, am I right?"
I grumbled my relent, "Fine. Just pass me a plate, then."
Vinyl did a final bounce as she handed a plate back. As much as I hated her right now, this did feel amazing. I leaned back and ate my food. I finished up quickly and set the plate on the table, "Done already?" Vinyl laid back against me, gliding herself up and down my shaft, "I knew you'd finish early."
I stuck my hands under her rump, "Well, you're making it hard..." In one swift movement I picked Vinyl up and pinned her waist against the edge of the table.
"Whoa dude!" Vinyl yelped as I bent her over the table, "What the he- oh s-shit!" I pulled my boxers down and led my head into her mound. Rubbing my flesh into her soft panties, "I just- don't prod!"
I yanked her tail up as my other hand lead my dick into her mound, "You- god damn, it's soft -started it! And I'm going to finish in it."
Vinyl grabbed the table and looked behind her, "Don't you mean-"
"I know what I said." I pressed myself forward, pressing hard into her mound and reveling in the velvety feel of her warm sex behind those silky panties.
Vinyl leaned against the table and closed her legs, "Dude come on, I was just- oh Celestia!" I cut her off by sneaking my head just inside her panties, the soft fabric still half wrapped around my head while the tip pressed into her sex. As I wiggled it back and forth I could watch as she soaked herself.
I stroked myself while slowly prodding her mound, "You know how you said it would shoot all over my stomach? Well, sorry to say I'm gonna have to paint your pussy instead."
Her head shot around, "Dude no, not a freaking creampie. I already told you I forgot my pills!"
I moved my hands, letting my thumbs pull her sex open, "Whats wrong, you don't want my foals? I think you'd make a great mommy." I bucked forward, nearly planting myself in her.
"I don't- ha~ I don't- didn't." She lifted her hips up with a long angry groan, "I can't think with you doing that."
I pulled my hands away and moved them to her covered tailhole. I jammed my thumb into it, pressing the fabric in ever so slightly, "I'm joking...kids would turn out deaf. No, I'm just gonna give it some frosting. Oh~ speaking of which. I think it's about- fucking - time." I hit the sweet spot.
I pulled my head back ever so slightly. I made sure to coat her sex in as much gruel as I could, leaving her fleshy mound coated, "Oh dude...gooey,"- I pulled my dick away and let her panties pull back into place. I gave them a quick rub and made sure the insides were coated with my seed, "Dude I just changed..." She lowered her hips and shifted her legs up and down, "Slimy..."
I gave a quick grunt, "I heard my diet helps promote thicker cum." I let the ridge of my index finger ride up and down her mound, "Guess they were right." I laughed hard as I sat back down.
Vinyl just pushed off the table and bent over. She pulled her panties off before sitting back down on my exposed member, "Seriously...they're gonna get all crusty now." Vinyl whimpered as she looked at the stained crotch of her panties.
"Maybe get some crotchless ones...save me some trouble."
Vinyl stood up and started walking off, "I have some I save for special occasions. Oh, and by the way I'm-ma use your toothbrush to clean these!" She ran off leaving me to sit, with a slightly soggy groin, and contemplate my life. Vulgarity, lewd conduct, and obscenity, and I love it all.
Author's Note
This is the final chapter Sir Hat made for this story. Everything after it is by me, TheOnlyOneWhoCared. Many thanks go to SH for letting me own this story.
