Chapters Beautiful and strong
An aura of power swirls around my body
Cold and steely to others who cannot see the
True person
Eyes bright and shining
Hips swaying, smile playing
Confidence
A whistle, a whoop
Not a trained panther
I am wild and free
Baring my teeth at those who want to
Change me .
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A wounded creature
A mocking bird put to death
Tender wings broken
Hiding in a corner
Weeping openly
A pain stricken face in the crowd
Heart strings, tattered and broken
Nothingness ...
The essence of your very being makes my skin crawl
You are a liar to the worst degree
You stabbed my heart with a dull blade
I thought you were my friend
How could you betray me this way?
What crime have I committed against you?
I have been there for your sorry soul for over a decade
So low and foul you are, your image is deceit incarnate
Uttering your name makes me want to wretch
All the time I wasted with you
You are the one I blame for this display
You left me helpless and calling out
Such a self-centered act you played
Pretending to be there for me
Turning against me a second later
I feel so choked and smothered
I will put on a brave face
But my feelings for you now will never change
What DO I want?
Love, Acceptance, Joy
Do I deserve them?
I hope that I do
I try to grasp these things
But I am like a fish in
Dank, icy water
Breath stripped from my lungs
Pain in living hated
Never able to reach, even the surface
Or the world of "Happy"
How many more times will I try
Just to find my dreams broken,
Hearts smashed and shattered
Friendships battered like an acorn that has been run over by a truck
How many more times will I be lied to?
How many more times will I take it?
Why do I deserve it?
What have I done?
I'm so sorry...
Desire held deep in my heart
For the one who takes my breath away
Coursing through my veins like a serpent
The one I long for in the dusky twilight
I never wanted to leave
Thought I was in for the rest of my life
Lives completely intertwined
Ripped apart at the very core
Loves last high tried to linger
But my heart turned to ice
A fire raged while the stone attacked my mind slowly and painfully
The moon as my sole company
On nights where I am riddled with nightmares from the past
Ghosts that still chill my bones
I hope to warm this heart
One near fatal nosedive is not a reason to stay numb
Once again opening my heart may be the hardest thing
I must let it feel the love and passion it once did
It may never be the same
I still have to try
The flutter of a young child's hear now replaced with a faint distressing putter
Just bundled up in my own self doubt
One more day of endless trials
I may never let my self believe the truth
She lays there completely still. On the fringe of the dark abyss that is unconsciousness. Blurry spots scatter from her sight as she achingly raises herself up onto her knees. Shadowed figures stared with soulless eyes back upon her pallid face.
She knew she would find him, why did it frighten her? Stumbling once she rose from her warm imprint. Staggering forward, using the aisle chairs for support, she gradually made her way to the front of the train, never once looking back upon the eyes she knew were glued to her crumpled figure. A frail looking filly wormed her way past nearly sending her tumbling back unto the carpeted floors.
The lights became all to bright once again as flashes of gold and silver glinted their evil glares through each passenger window. Mesmerizing and nauseating their faces were from such a speed reached only by such a vessel.
Aisle after aisle, bolted steel door after door she inched toward her goal at an infuriating pace. No time to waste, no time to wait yet, she could not press herself to move even a fraction faster. The world grew slow, the lights became jagged celestial lines in her peripheral. Chatter rose up out of the gloom. Unearthly sheiks of laughter and hollow bellows.
A screeching halt forced her to cling unto a plush velvet chair lest she be flung onto the floor once more. A glaze covered her eyes as the bodies began to stir around her. The moment the doors opened it became a frantic spasm to de board. Thrust along gruffly and nearly trampled, she was finally free.
The air felt so clear to her collapsed lungs, she almost felt like singing in joy. She spun around happily arms stretched wide unaware of the closeness and collided with a stallion. It was him. A menacing smile spread across his thick lips. The world began to melt around her. A scream of terror caught in her throat. Jolting awake with sweat moistening her cyan coat. Curling up in her blankets she lay there unmoving, the dream replaying in her mind.
