Emmet in Equestria

Chapter 5: A Warm Reception

Edited by: caliban888

It had been three weeks since Emmet's test. His home was finally built, the furniture assembled, and the ponies notified of their new resident. They hadn't been told where Emmet had come from, since, in truth, neither the Princesses nor Emmet were quite sure. Now he sat on his bed, with his belongings packed before him. It wasn't much of a sight, most of Emmet's things had been sent to his new home, just a few extra sets of clothes and his wakizashi. He clipped the small blade onto his hip, as he would have to begin carrying it around with him wherever he went. He looked into a nearby mirror, and chuckled to himself. The medieval western clothes and Japanese sword didn't seem quite right. He shrugged. Whatever enemy he faced would think it was funny until the wakizashi was rammed up to the hilt in their rib cage. He turned back to his belongings and picked them up with his left hand, using his right to open the door to his room. He found two guards waiting for him there.

"Princess Celestia has commanded us to bring you to the train to Ponyville, sir." the guard to the left said. "Right this way." The guards led Emmet though the maze of walls and hallways that was Canterlot Castle out into the bright sunlight. Emmet noticed the train in the distance, puffing up steam. He had to stifle a laugh when he saw that the train had hearts on the front, but then again, almost everything in this world was strange like that. As the young human walked on, he noticed that everybody-pony was giving him weird stares. He just looked at all the haughty faces around him, and turned to smile and wave. However, the wave found itself turning into a middle finger, and the surrounding ponies immediately looked away with varying degrees of embarrassment and huffiness. While they had never seen the gesture before, Emmet's body language made the message clear. The guard to his right, a slightly blue tinted earth pony, didn't get it, however.

"What does that mean?" the guard said, pointing with a hoof to Emmet's still-gesturing hand. An impish grin spread across Emmet's grin.

"Why, it's the human's universal way of saying, 'Fuck off'," The guard just stared at him in shock, then quickly recomposed himself, staring unblinkingly forward. Emmet chuckled gleefully to himself, and practically skipped the rest of the way to the train. Emmet was back in action baby! After a few minutes, Emmet and the guards got to the train, and they found the Princesses waiting there for them.

"I wish you luck on your mission, Emmet." Princess Celestia said in her usual elegant voice. Princess Luna smiled with her sister.

"Thanks. I'd love to stay and chat but..." the train whistle shrieked loudly, and he an "All aboard" from farther down the train. "I've got a train to catch." As he was about to leave, Celestia stopped him. She stared into his eyes with that look that made Emmet suddenly wish he was very, very, small.

"When you meet Twilight, just tell her that you're a precaution. She needs to learn the power of friendship, and I don't want her worked up over potential threats. If you can, try to stop them before she knows they're there. She needs a calm, peaceful environment."

"That sentence would have been seriously badass if you weren't talking about friendship powers." Both Princesses face-hoofed in unison.

"Perhaps it would be best if thou just got on the train." Princess Luna said, "Now."

"Alright, alright, I can take a hint. But seriously," Emmet suddenly took on a more serious demeanor, "if anything tries to harm to the Princess that I can't handle alone, how can I contact you?"

"Twilight Sparkle's assistant, Spike, will be able to send messages to me should the need arise."

"Very well then." Emmet took the first step into the train, and waved goodbye to the two Princesses. "See ya later!"

"Farewell Emmet!" Emmet leaned out the window, watching the white and purple spots becoming tiny little dots, and then vanish altogether. Emmet leaned back into the train, and awkwardly took a seat, he would be glad to sit in a normal chair again. And so Emmet sped away into his new life.

Emmet had been staring out of the window for quite some time, but he could see out of the corner of his eye that a little colt was looking at him.

"What is that, mommy?" he heard the little filly whisper not-so-quietly.

"Hush Button, that's impolite." the mother replied in an extremely comforting voice that made Emmet somehow feel safer. Emmet turned fully to the two ponies. The mother was a tan earth pony, with a darker tan mane tied together with red strips, and a cutie mark of a pink heart and a bottle. Emmet guessed that it meant being a very good mother. It explained the oddly hypnotic voice. The colt was a much darker, brownish tan with an orangish-brown mane and reddish-orange eyes, and he wore a small hat with a green propeller on top that was spinning despite the lack of wind in the train car. When the two noticed him looking at them, the mother smiled apologetically while the colt hid under his seat. Emmet smiled at the mother.

"Don't worry, I get his kind of stuff all the time here. Besides, you should let him get a good look. I'm the only one of my kind he's ever gonna see." The mother frowned.

"Why's that?"

"I'm the only one left!" Emmet saw the mother pony's face explode with pity and concern, and he realized how utterly depressing that sounded. "Let me rephrase that. I'm the only one left here. There are billions of humans like me, but they're very far away from here." He made a grand sweeping gesture upwards to the sky. "Like, wwwaaayyyy far away." The earth pony still looked a tad concerned, but not the soul-wrenching agony from before.

"Isn't it lonely?" she asked, cocking her head.

"With every day being a big fu-" Emmet looked to the chair where the colt was still hiding, "...screw you to the laws of physics and logic I know, I hardly notice." The mother smiled, and looked down where her son was under the chair.

"It's ok, Button, you can come out now. Why don't you introduce yourself?" Emmet saw a little brown and orange blob slowly rise from the floor. Finally, it seemed to regain a semblance of courage and rose back to it's seat. Button, as it seemed the pony was called, rose his shaky eyes to meet Emmet's. When Emmet didn't snarl or bare his fangs, Button deemed the strange man safe,

"Hi, my name is Button Mash. I'm eight years old." The colt paused, and Button's mom nodded for him to continue. "What's your name? And, if you don't mind me asking..." Button turned to his mom, who motioned for him to continue cautiously. "Why are you wearing clothes? It's pretty hot out, so I don't understand why somepony would need clothes." Emmet just nodded.

"Good question. As you can see, I don't have much fur except for the top of my head." Emmet said as he rolled up his sleeve, showing off its hairless nature. "As a result, I need more insulation to keep warm. In addition, in human society, it's considered extremely shameful to show certain areas of the body naked, to the point where one can get arrested for public indecency if they leave the house without clothes." Button Mash frowned in confusion.

"Why is that?" Emmet just stammered a bit, not sure how to answer. The rules on nudity were different here, but what about the rules on teaching kids about... that side of life? He had no idea how to react, He looked to Button's mom for guidance. She just looked at him in confusion, not sure why he had suddenly become so red. Emmet quickly leaned over and whispered into her ear the basics of human reproduction, and she stiffened visibly.

"Well, Button," the mother began in a nervous tone, and she tried to put on a winning smile. "this is a rather... touchy subject for Emmet to discuss. And he um, would really rather not talk about it. Okay?" Button just tilted his head sideways, and then shrugged and reached into a saddlebag on the floor.

"Whatever." he said, as he pulled out a small object from the bag and began mashing at it furiously at it while it booped and beeped. Slowly, realization began to hit Emmet, and he leaned over to investigate. Just as he had hoped, he saw Button staring at a small screen, with a small pony taking down hoards of enemies. Button felt a small drop on his hand, and looked up to see Emmet there, crying. Button's mom noticed too, and was slightly apprehensive and more than a little creeped out by Emmet's behavior.

"Uhhh," Button began.

"Are you alright?" His mother finished for him. Emmet just ignored them, and continued to stare at the screen.

"You have video-games here?" He asked hopefully, smiling while crying tears of pure joy. Button paused the game, and looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

"Uhh, yeah, I play them all the time. Why? Do you like-"

"YYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSS! OH SWEET MOTHER OF GOD YYYYEEEEEEESSS!" Both mother and son were shocked by this sudden outburst as Emmet flopped back into his own seat, pumping his fists triumphantly in the air.

"WE GOT VIDEO GAMES!" Button and his mother were suddenly very glad that they were the only ones in the train car with Emmet, no doubt he would have attracted some unwanted attention.

"So..." Button's mom said slowly, "I take it you like video games?" Emmet suddenly sat up, and stared intensely into her eyes.

"My job is video games. My free time is video games. My LIFE is video games." Button suddenly looked ecstatic.

"You like video games too! Finally, someone else besides me in that old town!" Button yelled. The young colt looked up to his mother. "Well, except for my mom of course." Emmet looked at Button's mom.

"You play games?" She nodded, and Emmet looked seriously at Button.

"You," he said, "are one lucky son of a gun." punctuating each word by jabbing his finger at him. Emmet only wished his parents would play games with him. While martial arts and sword fighting were great passions for Emmet, he felt just the same way about games. He loved them. Perhaps just a little too much. Emmet looked up to the ceiling, slumping down into the chair. He sighed contentedly, and finally turned to Button Mash and his mother.

"So where are you guys heading to?"

"Back home, to Ponyville. Me and Button here were just going to the latest gaming convention back in Manehatten." Emmet laughed a little.

"Well, what do you know, that's where I'm headed too!" Emmet exclaimed. Button began to yell with his slightly annoying but at the same time endearing voice.

"Really!? Can we hang out some time? Can we Mom? Please?" Button's mother looked hesitantly at Emmet. She wasn't sure whether or not to trust this strange creature. She used that stare that mothers have that let's know that if you even think about lying to them they'll rip your heart out.

"I'm not sure." She said, leaning towards Emmet slightly, who suddenly felt like Luna just caught him naked in the shower. The urge to run and hide was making Emmet's head throb in the way only a mother protecting her child can. "I'm not sure if I can trust him." Emmet gulped, leaning as far away as he could from the lovely thing that came straight out of a nightmare staring into the very corners of his soul. Emmet shook his head and regained his posture, and put on a smile.

"Oh, I assure you I can. I love kids." He turned to Button and ruffled his mane. "Especially ones who play video-games." As he pulled his hand away from Button he took the chance to flick the colt on the tip of his muzzle.

"Hey!" Button said, however he was scrunching up his nose so much that his voice came out nasally and squeaky. This made his mother laugh.

"I think you two will get along just fine." she said

Emmet stepped off of the train into the quiet town of Ponyville. It seemed peaceful enough, and wherever he looked he could see wood and thatch buildings with the occasional crazily shaped store. As he walked through the streets, periodically looking down at a map, he walked past what must have been the most outrageous store he had seen yet. The entire building looked like a gingerbread house, complete with wooden frosting and candles and the top. Emmet assumed that this was a part of how the ponies named things. They like for a name to have meaning, such as Smitheye for a smith who works by eye and Luna for the Princess of the moon, and he assumed this whole store thing he kept on seeing tied into that. As he walked past the store, a sudden bolt of pink blasted out of the front door and grabbed hold of Emmet's shoulders.

"GAH! Get off it of me!" Emmet had begun to draw the wakizashi, but was stopped by a very pink hoof. Suddenly, and equally pink face was shoved into his face.

"HI my name is Pinkamena Diane Pie but all of my friends call me Pinkie Pie and you can too cause you're my best friend and hey I just noticed that you aren't a pony but if you aren't a pony than what could you be you have hands like a Diamond Dog's but your's are much more slender and delicate looking and not to mention you're almost completely hairless!" The extremely pink pony suddenly sank onto her haunches and took deep breaths for a few moments. She was about to begin again when Emmet shushed her with a finger. He spoke in a slow and calm voice.

"Hi there. My name is Emmet Gilroy Smith. I am a human, and I'm looking for a person named Twilight Sparkle. Would you happen to know where she is?" He could feel her energetically quivering underneath his hand. He knew exactly where to go, but he thought it would be a good idea to try and give this young mare something other than him to focus on. Pinkie giggled.

"Well of course I do, silly. Twilight's only my bestest of best friends!" She pointed wildly down one of the streets. "Come on, I'll take you there." Emmet hesitated, but then decided that there was no point in turning down her offer, since she was in fact going the same way he had been planning on going. Pinkie got up and began bouncing down the street she had pointed to. Emmet had to lightly jog to keep up with her as she jumped up and down on the cobblestone steps. This place was weird like that. They had video-games and trains, but they also had castles, Princesses, and old fashioned cobblestone roads. Emmet had learned that this universe seemed not to give a single fuck about his concepts of normalcy. Not a single one. Pinkie had been chatting away about whatever had popped in her head, but Emmet didn't seem to notice. Finally, they turned a corner, and Emmet saw something straight out of a Disney movie. It was a massive, stumpy tree, and an entire house had been simply carved inside of it.

"This is the place." Pinkie Pie said. She gestured impatiently for Emmet to go through. When he went in, the entire place was dark. All the shutters had been pulled shut so the entire place was shrouded in shadow.

"SURPRISE!"

Emmet reeled back at the sudden burst of light, sound, color and movement. He fell neatly on his rump, his eyes swimming with stars. When he finally gained enough sense to see, how saw that the whole of the library was crowded with ponies, unicorns, and pegasi pf every size, shape, and color, and all of the had party hats or noise-makers, and the banisters were wrapped in pink streamers. He looked to Pinkie, who whipped a noise maker out of nowhere and blew it noisily in his face. She laughed at the look of surprise on his face.

"Oh come on silly, you didn't think you could just waltz into town without receiving a super special Pinkie Pie Welcome-To-Ponyville Party, now could you?" Pinkie suddenly reared onto her hind legs, and pointed heroically into the middle of the room, where a large, pink and white cake stood. "My cake needs me! See ya in a bit!" And she dashed off through the crowd. As Emmet stood up, several of the braver ponies came up and clapped Emmet on the back, with various greetings and welcomes. Emmet finally stood to his full height, and several of the ponies shied away slightly at the sight of the creature that was now nearly two feet taller than them. Emmet just looked at them, and gave them a ridiculous smile.

"Excuse me for a moment, I think I left my sanity back in Canterlot. Could you give me a moment?" They all chuckled at this, and soon got over his alien appearance. After an hour of cake eating, introducing, and chatting, Emmet was getting bored. He was eventually approached by a purple unicorn with a dark purple mane with magenta and pink highlights. She smiled as she approached Emmet, and when she got withing reach extended him a hoof.

"Twilight Sparkle. You must be Emmet." Emmet had to sink to one knee to shake her hoof, and he gave her a smile in return.

"The one and only, at your service." Emmet looked her over a little. She seemed pretty sprightly, and slightly eager to please. Emmet stood back up to his full height, and stuck his hands in his pockets. He noticed she was giving him a slightly strange look.

"Is something wrong?" She blushed when she realized she had been caught staring, and it made her look adorable. Emmet fought the urge to pick her up like a puppy.

"Nothing, it's just that..." she looked over Emmet once more, "Promise you won't hate me when I say this?" Emmet raised his eyebrow.

"I've been hired as your personal bodyguard for life. I'll have time to get over it."

"Well, how can you protect me if you don't have any claws or anything? I mean, you're kinda big, but you don't seem to have any defenses that I don't have already." She saw Emmet's eyes glint with gleeful malice. It kinda scared her.

"Well, that's true. I don't have many defenses other than a mediocre ability to climb. However, what made my race thrive was our heads." He knocked on his skull for emphasis. "We developed ways to make up for our lacking physical abilities. We did not have claws, so we made swords. He unsheathed his wakizashi with a rasping sound, and held it up for emphasis. "While our body's aren't meant to fight unarmed, they are perfectly tailored to fighting with our creations." Twilight eyed the wakizashi. It was strangely beautiful. However, it didn't seem like much against Nightmare Moon.

"I see you're still not convinced. Well, think of it like this." Emmet said as he sheathed the small blade. "The human race survived with no ability to perform magic in a world where the weather controlled itself, the animals were out for our blood, and there was no way of knowing whether or not the next harvest would go smoothly or not." Emmet smiled as he saw the look of wonder across Twilight's face. "Still have any doubts?" Twilight broke out of her amazement and smiled with appreciation.

"I can't think of a better bodyguard than Princess Celestia herself." she said. Emmet nodded.

"Now, I've had a long day, and I think it was about time I got to my new home."

"Of course." Most of the guests had left, except for a few groups chatting away. Emmet made his way to the door, and pushed out into the clear night air. The party had gone on for quite a while. Emmet made his way to his new home, humming an old tune into the crisp shadow of the night.