humanity

equestria had many mining operations but one was more efficient than the other; it mined a massive magic loadstone, and transported the chunks to Canterlot to further strengthen it. This was the Equestrian version of electricity. An infinite source of power,  but nobody knew who did the mining... That’s what scares me.

So I decided to take a trip to a place ponies aren’t allowed to get within a hundred miles of. I was making this trip illegally of course. I packed my bag with enough M.R.E’s to last a month, and my new found sword with a small pistol. This place was directly on the other side of the Everfree, so I had a long and dangerous walk.  Considering the fact the dragons were still hunting me for killing there kin that is. I shut off the lights in my home and said “well old friend this could be the last time I ever see you...  You’ve been a great help.” the always quiet A.I. responded.

“yes it had been good I hope to see your return soon.” it said in a feminine voice.

I walked out of the giant door and it closed behind me, I began walking in the direction of the mine. Around a hundred miles north. Around twenty minutes in I had problems a large volcano with hundreds of dragons swirling it. If I wasn’t quiet enough I would become bacon.

I crept as slowly as I could around the mountain and within an hour I made it away. I then hauled ass as far away as possible. Even though my limbs were made of metal they were programmed to get tired. After about four hours it started getting dark so I gathered some sticks and logs and built a fire. As I sat there staring into the flames I wondered what I would find there. Would it be something so horrible I couldn’t function or something that would enrage me to the extent of mass genocide.

I fell asleep at some point during the night because when I got up it was around noon. I decided to take the time and undo the restrictions on my legs because I needed to hall ass. After about half an hour I was ready and I began to run faster than a stereotypical Kenyan. Clocking in at least fifteen miles an hour. I pulled out a visor and put it over my face.

It wasn’t long before I saw to mountain that held the loadstone and at least two hundred military personnel scattered around it. Trains carried away the largest haul I've ever seen. At least fifty cars filled with the magical ore. I went prone and snuck through the field as best I could. This place was heavily guarded and if anyone was alerted of my presence I would bescrewed.  Celestia would teleport to me and end me in a second. So that wasn’t going to happen.

As I neared the mine I felt the presence of the stone it gave out such magical power that ponies could only take in doses. Humans as I understood were safe Celestia once surrounded me with enough of the stuff to kill a pony in a second. I was in there for over three weeks with food and piss breaks of course.

When I got to the mine I stood up and greeted to single guard there. “hello I am a paladin of the celestial army, I have been told to come here and gather a special peace of stone that cannot be mined by normal means.”

“and why should I believe you”

“because I'm the only one here that can with stand high powered loadstones and Celestia will be very angry with you if you don’t let me in.”

“fine go ahead” wow that’s a fucktard right there.

As I walked into the mines a heard the sound of picks being swung. Thousands of them all mining at once. I kept getting closer the  main chamber and it got even louder. It wasn’t long until I got there and I couldn’t hear myself think. When the narrow tunnel opened up into a cavern what I saw was the worst thing I've seen since the fiery holocaust that marked the end.

Thousands of them, humans chained together begin forced to dig. I fell to my knees hands clutched the sides of my head “AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!” I let out a blood curdling scream this was the kind of thing that can break a man to see the last of his race in chains all races and genders eve children; this could not stand. it seemed they heard me. They stopped mining and looked up at me begging for help. Tears flowed from my eyes. They would rather die than be here. Then I felt a pain in my chest, I looked down and a sword was impaled through me. I was done, there was nothing I could do.

The sword pulled out and a hoof which I knew was Celestia's kicked me over the edge. The fall seemed to last forever, but I was numb before I hit the ground so I didn’t feel anything. I looked up into her eyes and I knew what I saw in; her eyes a cloud made of fire in the shape of a mushroom. She grinned at me dropping her sword of the edge and it landed back into the wound.

I felt life slip away I guess this is what derpy felt like when she was hit with that beam. Then a few humans surrounded me I looked at them this time I begged them for help. They obliged and removed the blade from my chest. One of them picked me up In a fireman’s carry and ran into a side cave. Dirt and stone faded to marble and marble faded to steel walls; a vault that’s what she really wanted. He dropped me off at an infirmary and the nurse stared at the wound in shock. I could feel my soul slipping it wanted to quit but I couldn’t let that happen. I reached out to her and she responded with calling for a more experienced doctor. When they got their I think they had every piece of medical equipment possible. I realized they were talking but I couldn’t hear them. They injected me with multiple syringes and I stared in awe as my spine, ribs and, heart re-grew. Im pretty sure my lungs did to but I couldn’t tell because I was soon knocked out.

I woke up in very sterile room wit ha window on the other side. A doctor walked in holding a clipboard with some papers. Grinning at me he said.

“ah so your finally awake, its good to see you survived; even though we re grew the organs she destroyed we still had to deal with blood loss and you were in shock.” I whistled at that.

“damn how long have I been out.”

“about two days,”

“good”

“and why is that?”

“because I haven’t missed my own funeral I cant wait to show celestia how bad she is at killing.”

“w- what you cant go back you have to help us take our planet back!”

“yeah im working on that don’t worry her sister who knows she is a total bitch is helping me, so we got this shit in the bag now.”

“I might not be a military specialist but how is that?”

“because we have each other.”

His expression was akin to something along the lines of “wat” or “bitch you crazy”

“I know it sounds weird but with an army I can finally take canterlot, make sure your men are battle trained im gonna leave and make some calls to the allies ive made over the years.”

“number ten you cant leave yet your still in terrible sha-” he stopped talking as I jumped out of the bed and began to walk towards the door.

“what did you call me?”

“I called you by your military designation.”

“oh well fuck that call me Sam” I never liked titles. “also if you have any vehicles get them ready, I want a working army in two months general.”

“b-but im a doctor”

“no you’re a general now, make sure Celestia thinks your still working.”

“yes sir!” he gave a salute.

“also were is my stuff.” he pointed to the door and my belongings sat there. “thanks ill see you around.” I walked out side with my stuff in tow. I stopped to put my wings back in, I didn’t use them to get here because of the dragons. I walked down the halls of the massive vault. This was vault one it was made to hold so many, there was probably only a tenth of the population in here than when the war began.

Every time I passed a human I didn’t see a worker or a slave; I saw them as friends, comrades, and colleagues. I smiled breaking into a sprint then a run. When I got to the main chamber I took to the air immediately feeling the wind In my hair. Then I heard in the workers were cheering me on they knew this was the time, they knew the revolution had begun.

When I got out of the cave I drew my sword and flew as quicker as I could towards ponyville. I would have to stop by my house for a day and wait for the funeral. I was flying at such speeds the dragons volcano came into view. There were a few dragons flying towards me as I got closer they seemed angry. They flew straight towards me and at the last second I moved and dodged the living missile. Then again as the other dragons shot fire and tried to slash me. I eventually got tired of the and charged my sword with the magic I had seemed to gain out of no where; the I turned letting loose a diagonal strike which instead of distracting them cut their volcano in half.

Instead of fighting me they turned and ran I don’t blame them I just cut a mountain In half with little effort. I continued my flight when I neared ponyville I quickly descended and made my way into my house. The AI spoke to me again

“hello sir reports say you died.’

“I did and now I'm back.”

“well that’s good.”

“damn straight, now when is my funeral in this town.’

“I didn’t think they would do it but the drones indicate that it will be held tonight at around five o’clock.”

“well that’s good I have an hour to get ready for it.” the AI said nothing after this. I removed my current clothes which consisted of a hospital gown. I took a shower and grabbed a suit. Not just any suit a suit that was so well armored it could take a 50. Cal  rifle to its chest but it was so flexible its like I wasn’t wearing anything.

On the way out I grabbed the sword an flew to ponyville. Once I got In the vicinity I did my best to sneak to were the funeral was being held. Once I got to the stage I realized there was no one there yet so I jumped into the casket and closed the lid. About five minutes later ponies started gathering. Then after around twenty minutes the funeral began with some old guy saying something about a boring afterlife, I thought to myself ‘ok fuck this’.

I kicked the lower lid and pushed the top lid off with ease and jumped out “SURPRISE BITCHES!!” I think I killed the old guy “ I bet you thought I was dead to?” a few of them nodded still in shock. “well that sun bitch lied to you all, she may have impaled me with a huge ass sword but I'm still here.”

“liar she would never do that!”

I am unamused “actually she did I would know I did get stabbed.” moron “and why would she never do that?”

“because she loves us and would never hurt anypony!” and orange mare yelled.

“lets get this straight she is as close to a god than anything you will ever see, you don’t really mean anything to her.”

“LIAR!”

“he isn’t lying foolish ponies” a draconoques appeared next to me. I jumped back a bit. “oh did I scare you sorry about that”

“so your discord?”

“yep the one and only god of chaos”

“cool”

“as I was saying I was there when it happened”

“you were?”

“yes I was disguised as a rock.”

“the fuck?”

“I get bored often so I find random spots in Equestria and turn into random things.” weird ass.

“sure why the hell not, and as I was saying Celestia stabbed me with a sword” I looked at discord “I don’t know how I survived but I woke up in the everfree afterwards.” I looked at him again thank god he took the hint. “as much as a enjoyed  “well I enjoyed that you were going to have a funeral but its not necessary now” I turned and walked towards twilights library.

I got in a hopped onto the couch and spike came down the stairs. “twilight how was the fune-” he looked at me

“sup” he fainted “pansy.” I got up and went to the fridge she had and found two bottles of orange juice I grabbed one and but five bits were it used to be, I then proceeded to chug the entire bottle. When I was done I found a twilight standing in front of me with a glare. I just looked back. “hey I paid for the juice the money is in the fridge.” she didn’t move however she did charge her horn “hey lets be rati-” I couldn’t finish the sentence because I was shot through the wall and into the sky. I was in the air for a long time and I was over the forest when I started decending.

“fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!” I said as I broke through the canopy and hit the ground spinning multiple times and doing a slip here or there. When I stopped I was in front of a hut and a zebra walked out.

“what are you on my door step, are you friend or are you fo?” ok so she rhymes.

“well my name is Sam and no offence but rhyming hurts my head a lot so can you communicate another way?” she looked blankly and pulled out a note book and wrote on it.

“ok now that that settled I was in ponyville attending my own funeral and after I attacked the one who left me to die I was flung here basically.”

She wrote on her paper ‘who attacked you?’

“you wont believe this but it was celestia.”

She put her notebook back in her bag and motioned for me to go Inside.

“if what you say is true then you must hide here, for the sun goddess will hunt for you.” I nodded a yes. She moved one of her voodoo masks and pressed a button part of the floor opened up to reveal a staircase that led into a large cellar. Then she moved a box and another chamber opened. This time runes were inscribed on the door, they were blood sealed so she pricked her foreleg and deactivated the seal. This time there was a large room with two bunk beds a sink a cauldron and loads of preserved food and what looked like contraband.

“in here I have a safe house, it is sure to keep you protected; don’t touch anything or you will regret it.”

“you got it can I at least eat the food if I need to.” she nodded. “also were is the toilet?” she walked up to a wall and knocked then pushed it revealed a hallway with many doors.

“use only what you need and when you leave tell not a soul.”

“you got it”

“ill check on you in an hour and if you ever hear anything suspicious go the entrance of this chamber and say ‘forever hidden’ then run down the hallway and say ‘protect me and go down that ladder.”

“thanks… what’s your name?”

“call me Zecora.”

“you got it, also I'm going to bed.” she nodded and walked out. So I lied down and that was it for this hellish day.