Prologue

Pinkie Pie

Likes candy

"My name is Pinkamena Diane Pie. I live at Sugar Cube Corner, Ponyville, Equestria.  To all law enforcement entities, this is not an admission of guilt. I am speaking to my family now.

Dashie, you are the love of my life, I hope you know that. Pinkie Junior, you're my big girl. There are... there are going to be some things, things that you'll come to learn about me in the next few days. I just want you to know that, no matter how it may look, I only had you in my heart. Goodbye." Pinkie set down the audio recording on the countertop, and hoped that someone would find it soon enough. She picked up her handgun: a Smith & Wesson 1911. The magazine had five rounds loaded inside, with one already in the chamber.

Pinkie dashed out of the back of the house, relieved to be in fresh air, only to find herself surrounded by three law enforcers. They wore one-hole balaclavas covered by Advanced Combat Helmets, and on their torso, they were sporting ballistic vests which read CEA, or Candy Enforcement Administration. They pointed their firearms at Pinkie. They were Glock 22s, capable of firing .40 caliber Smith & Wesson rounds over eight hundred miles an hour, and, althought stagnant, they had LWRCI M6A2 carbines held up by a sling.

"Drop the gun, put your hands up, and get down on your knees!" shouted the first, as he motioned with his handgun towards the ground.

Pinkie just gleefully stood there, confused. She had no clue what in Equestria to do.

The second CEA agent spoke. "You have ten seconds to get on the floor and drop your weapon, or you will be fired upon!" He, too, motioned toward the ground, as if Pinkie didn't know what the ground was.

"Five!"

"Four!"

"Three!"

"Two!"

Pinkie lay on the ground. She was cuffed, and forced to her feet by Bozo #3.

Then, Bozo #3 finally spoke. "2-5, reporting in. The target is secure, moving to Rally Point Alpha." He, along with Bozo #1, took Pinkie to the front of the house, then shoved her into the back of a BearCat APC.

Pinkie couldn't really see where they were or where they were going--the APC had no windows, with the exception of the back vents. It was boring. So she went to sleep and started to snore.

Agent Coleman

Bozo #3

Agent Coleman was distracted from his driving by a sound coming from the back seat. He couldn't quite tell what it--

"Is our fucking hostage snoring?" asked Agent Parker.

"I was wondering what that motherfucking sound was!" exclaimed Coleman. "Distracting as shit, especially when you're trying to drive a--" he swerved a bit for emphasis-- "BearCat!"

"Well, you won't have to put up with this shit for too much longer," said Sergeant Hall. "Rally Point Alpha is eight more blocks away. We bring 'er in, we get paid, and we get all the credit for turnin' in the biggest candy lord in Equestria." He chuckled, and then added, "can't wait 'till this asshole is someone else's probl'm."

"You can say that again," snickered Parker.

Agent Parker

Black guy with an attitude

Agent Parker decided he'd had enough. He put his hand on Coleman's shoulder. "Stop the car," he commanded.

"Whatever for?" questioned Coleman. Even though he'd no answer, he pulled over to the side of the road anyway.

Parker got out and opened up the two back doors, letting light flood in from outside. He hopped up into the back, and punched Pinkie across the face. She screamed something like "Banana raspberry sprinkles!" Parker hopped back out and got into shotgun, next to Hall, who was sitting in the middle.

They continued driving as if nothing had happened.

Pinkie Pie

Again

Pinkie was wide awake now. She'd no clue what'd happened, but all she knew is she needed to find a way out. With the cuffs on behind her back, she wasn't really. . .mobile. She couldn't interact with anything that much either, as she would have to turn her back to the object and couldn't see her hands, anyway.

She, without making any noise, lightly tried to kick the back doors open. Locked shut. She needed to try something else.

Pinkie tried looking for any loose bolts or in the floor that she might have been able to pry open and jump through. But then again, dropping through a hole in a moving vehicle with heavy traffic wasn't that good of an idea.

But if it was a way out of here, she was willing to try.

Pinkie crouched down and tried to reach down to see if she could look for any weak spots in the welding, She couldn't reach the ground. She was going to have to do this the hard way.

She lay down on her back and imitating moves like. . .she was swimming, or something. She tried prying at a piece of metal to see if it would come off. . .no luck. She scoured every square inch of the floor.

Nothing.

All Pinkie could do is wait. Hopefully Twilight was okay.

All that mattered was that Twilight was okay.

Twilight Sparkle

Self-proclaimed nerd

"Applejack, are you in position?" Twilight asked, as she pulled back the bolt on her sniper rifle. The rifle itself was state-of-the-art; for it was a CheyTac M-200 Intervention. It had a.408 CheyTac cartridge that fires very-low-drag mono metal bullets, designed for  deadly force and accuracy at up to a recorded two thousand yards.

They were at Rally Point Alpha, where Pinky was going to be dropped off to be taken to prison. Twilight was opposite of Applejack, and they were both overlooking the military checkpoint.

"Confirm, Twi. Right across from ya. . .counting. . .uh. . .three armed hostiles at the gate. Ah'll take the one on the left. You get the one on the right, closest to you. We''ll wait for the guy in the middle to leave." Applejack checked her ammunition and loaded the magazine back into the sniper. Then, she switched off the safety and pulled back the bolt as the round chambered.

"Okay. We have to do this fast though, the APC should be here any minute. Fluttershy, what about you? Are you in position?"

Fluttershy clicked on her radio. "C-c-copy t-that, Twilight. I-I'm scared. . ." Fluttershy trembled.

Twilight sighed and suddenly regretted bringing her on this mission, even if she was just the getaway driver.

"Hold on, Twi. . ." commanded Applejack. She clicked on the safety once again and turned the gun ninety degrees toward the road. "Ah can see the APC from here. From what Ah see, it's less than a mile away. Let's do this quick." Applejack clicked the safety off, and took aim at the guy on the left. "Twi, can I ask you somethin'?" Applejack took a deep breath.

"What is it, Applejack?" came the reply.

"How fast are you at pulling back a bolt?" Applejack pulled the trigger, the silencer muffling the muzzle flash and the sound almost completely.

"Shit, Applejack?! What the fuck?" Twilight quickly took aim and shot at her target, then immeditately rechambered her round. She took aim, and fired again. All this happened in less than half a second. Twilight clicked on her safety and stared down the scope at Applejack. Applejack put two fingers together and waved them forward toward the checkpoint. Mission is a go.

Dead Guy

I'm dead.

Nuff said.

Applejack

Motherbucker!

When both Applejack and Twilight reached the gate, Twilight's immediate response was, "What the FUCK was that?! You could've gotten us killed!" scolded Twilight.

"See, but I didn't, Twi."

Twilight couldn't help but crack a smile. "We'd better move these bodies. Fast. We can hide them in the security booth," suggested Twilight."

"Good idea," Applejack agreed.

They both grabbed hold of a corpse and carried it into the security booth--sure, it was a tight fit, but still, they're carcasses. They don't complain about bad weather or a hike up a hill.

They then both helped each other cram the third corpse into the tollbooth, and quickly hid inside of it. The bodies reeked, but neither of them minded.  They held their weapons ready in case anything went wrong.

Twilight smiled again. "All your base are belong to us."

Fluttershy gulped as the BearCat passed her vehicle. "I sure hope this w-works."

Sergeant Hall

He and Applejack would make good fuckbuddies

Sergeant Hall, being sitted in the middle, was feeling as cramped as three bodies in a tollbooth. Although he did have a nice view of the road, what was there to see? All San Palomino was was desert, desert, more desert, and the occasional town.

That was all.

Being sat in the middle also gave him the best ear for IEDs. Because he was the first to hear it. It was a small beeping or clicking, just barely detectable by the human ear.

The entire front-end of the car took the impact as it exploded into a fiery ball of flame. Luckily, the back of it was still pretty much intact--it wasn't called an APC for nothing.

Pinkie Pie

Hey kids, want some candy?

Pinkie Pie was thrust into the air and tossed around the back of the APC. She started coughing and wheezing as smoke filled the back of the armoured vehicle. She hit the ground hard and almost passed out. She was badly injured.

The back doors of the vehicle were opened, and Pikie saw two sillhouettes come into view. More CEA? It looked like they had guns, but she couldn't tell. Her vision was fuzzy and she couldn't see at all through the smoke. Luckily, most of it cleared out relatively quickly when the doors opened, as it escaped out into the evening air. She was forced onto her feet by the two people. Pinkie made an effort to look to her right and left to catch a glimpse of the two mysterious men/women. It hurt too much. She must have broken her jaw, or at least a cheekbone.

Pinkie was carefully put in the backseat of the vehicle, a Ford F-150. She caught a glimpse of the driver.

'Fluttershy' is what she tried to say, but it probably came out something like,

"Fugirpie?"

"Ssh. . . just rest." Pinkie laid down in the back, taking up two entire seats.

Wait a minute. She'd recognized that voice.

Twilight.