Cookbook

Twilight Sparkle

Innocent enough.

Twilight Sparkle.

If you really look at her life, it seems kind of pathetic.

Lives in a tree.

With a dinosaur.

Without a job. . .at least for now. In the next twenty-four hours, her life was going to change drastically, and she didn't even know it.

And besides, she had just be diagnosed with encephalomyelitis.

She waded to her bed and sat down, head in hands. She was done being a student for Princess Celestia; she had finished all her training, and now she had no source of income whatsoever.

She needed a way to make money. Fast.

Pinkie Pie

An enthusiastic motherfucker.

That was the last straw. Mrs. Cake decided she'd had enough of Pinkie's shenanigans. Every day, she just ate and ate all Mrs. Cake's hard work, and Pinkie could devour it in five seconds flat. It was a wonder her stomach wasn't as big as a balloon. No matter. She wouldn't be at Sugarcube Corner anymore. . .well, at least not for the time being.

"Out!" shouted Mrs. Cake, and pointed to the door.

Pinkie, feeling ashamed, walked to the door, opened it as the bell jingled, and went outside. Her head hung low. She now had no money, no cupcakes, and no place to stay. Hopefully, one of her friends would be kind enough to let her stay.

First, she tried Fluttershy's cottage.

Pinkie knocked on the door. Fluttershy answered, and responded with, "Oh, hello, Pinkie. How can I help you?"

"I need a place to stay! I don't suppose you have anywhere, do you?"

"Sorry, Pinkie, I don't have any room. Mr. Sloth just moved in. Unless you want to share the couch with him," replied Fluttershy.

"YAY! PAR-- oh. That's okay! I'll go ask Rarity!"

Pinkie knocked on the door. Rarity answered, and responded with, "Oh, darling! Come here! I need you to try on a dress for me." Rarity walked inside, and turned her back to Pinkie as she showed her a dress. "Now, what color should this be? Sky, teal, turquoise, spindrift, or flora?" Rarity waited a minute. "Pinkie?" She faced Pinkie again, but she was nowhere to be found.

Next, Pinkie tried Rainbow Dash's house.

"HEY, RAINBOW DASH!"

Rainbow Dash stuck her head out from the cloud she was laying on. "What is it, Pinkie?" she asked.

Pinkied cupped a hand to her ear.

Rainbow Dash sighed. "WHAT IS IT, PINKIE?" she screamed.

"CAN I STAY WITH YOU FOR A LITTLE WHILE?" came the reply from the ground.

"YOU'RE KIDDING, RIGHT?" asked Rainbow Dash.

"Oh. YEAH, I GUESS I DIDN'T THINK THAT THROUGH!" said Pinkie Pie. She waved to Rainbow Dash as she walked away.

That left two people. Applejack and Twilight.

She tried Applejack next, hoping she would allow Pinkie to stay. She stared at the Sweet Apple Acres sign and smiled. Then, she walked down the long path to the farmhouse and knocked on the door for the third time.

The door opened. It wasn't Applejack though. It was Applebloom. "Heya, Pinkie! What can Ah do for ya?"

"Hey, Applebloom! Is Applejack there?

"Yep, she sure is. C'mon in, lemme go get 'er." Applebloom walked off somewhere else in the house. Pinkie could hear talking going on in the other room.

Soon enough, Applejack came to the door where Pinkie was standing. "Heya Pinkie, ya need somethin'?" Applejack asked, the grain of wheat in her mouth bobbing up and down as she spoke.

Pinkie cleared her throat. "Yeah, AJ! I was wondering if I could stay here for a little while! You know, just because. . ."

Applejack sighed. "Pinkie, what happened?"

"Oh, you know, nothing really! Nothing important, no siree!" came the reply.

Applejack stared right into her eyes. Pinkie gulped. "What. Happened."

"I got kicked out of Sugarcube Corner! Butipromiseididn'treallydoanythingimeanlikeididn'treallyknowwhatididtoupsetMrs.Cakejustpleasepleasepleasedon'tgetmadatmeipromiseididn'tdoitonpurposeand--"

"Pinkie, slooooooooooooow down. Yes, you can stay." Applejack closed her eyes and nodded, but then opened them up wide again. "On one condition."

"Aaaand what is that, AJ?"

"Ya have ta help pick apples."

Pinkie sighed and nodded slowly. "Sorry AJ, but I'm gonna have to turn down that offer!" She stood up tall, turned one hundred eighty degrees, and was on her way back down the path to Ponyville.

That left one person to ask.

Twilight.

Pinkie bounded up to the tree and knocked on wood. Literally.

Twilight answered the door, her violet hair gleaming in the sunlight. "Hey, Pinkie."

"Hey Twilight! May I stay here for a little while?" she asked, folding her hands together and fluttering her eyelashes.

"I don't know, Pinkie. I don't have much money right now. . .unless you could pay rent or you have an idea of how we could make money relatively quickly, you're on your own. I suppose you asked everyone else?"

Pinkie nodded. "Well, I do know one way we can make money. . ."

They waited until nightfall, when they could blend in with the shadows. The pair slipped out of the house and made their way to Sugarcube Corner. The friends needed to find a way in. The front door was locked, and, besides, even if they did go through the front, it did have a bell.

The two wore balaclavas and black jumpsuits to conceal themselves. They also had gloves, careful not to leave fingerprints. Twilight's were black like everything else she was wearing.

Pinkie's were pink.

"What's on the list?" asked Twilight, suddenly breaking the silence.

"For a single batch, we'll need three cups of sugar," explained Pinkie Pie. "If we wanted to raise the prices we could also add food coloring or flavoring, too! Ooh! Ooh! How about cupcakes!" she exclaimed.

Twilight rolled her eyes, not like anyone could see it. "Pinkie, we're not adding cupcakes to our crystal sugar," she scolded.

"Sorry!" apologized Pinkie, a bit too loud. Luckily, no one heard.

Eventually, they found a window on the first floor that was unlocked. Twilight slid it open and kept watch while Pinkie made her way to the back.

She found the sugar right away. They took three cups, like the book had said. Pinkie smiled. Twilight had a book for everything. She put the bags of sugar in her

Unfortunately, the food coloring and flavoring was on too high of a shelf for Pinkie to reach. So, she grabbed a stool and stood on it.

(Never a good idea, kids.)

She was able to reach the two ingredients, but lost her balance, fell, and made quite a racket.

Then she heard a baby start to cry. She looked back at Twilight, who mouthed 'Oh, shit' and nodded. Pinkie nodded back, grabbed the two ingredients, and stuffed them in her bag. She quickly put the stool back in place, but then heard someone come down the stairs.

She did what she could. Pinkie jumped behind the counter just in time for Mr. Cake to come down the stairs, holding the baby. He opened a fridge in the back room, its luminescent light shining on Pinkie. She froze and tried to make herself appear tiny. But luckily, his back was turned to Pinkie.

She peered up above the counter to see Twilight hiding behind a chair. Twilight held up five fingers, the universal symbol for 'stop.' Pinkie wasn't complaining.

Twilight Sparkle

Nerdier than before

Twilight rummaged through her bag, and found what she was looking for. An ECM jammer, capable of turning off sonar, infrared, things like that. She just hoped it would work on the fridge.

She slid the ECM jammer across the floor to Pinkie. Pinkie swooped it up, stuck it down and hit the 'On' button.

You could hear it working; it played back feedback of the electronic devices in the area. That included microwaves, alarm clocks, cell phones, and hopefully damn refrigerators.

Luckily, it did. The light shut off, and Pinkie put the ECM jammer carefully in a trash can.

No evidence.

Pinkie crawled back to Twilight, and they both slipped out with all they needed. There was only one thing left:

boiled water.

Easy enough to get that.

Both of the friends went back to Twilight's tree, where they took off their jumpsuits, balaclavas, and gloves, and dumped both their bag's contents onto the table.

Perfect.