Probably The Only Chapter.
It was a normal day in Ponyville. The most overused starting sentence, amirite?
Well GUESS WHAT. That's about to change. It's NOT gonna be a normal day anymore. Ooo. Didn't see that coming.
Rainbow Dash was resting on a cloud. Like she starts out in at least half of the fanfics. Ya know. If she isn't flying around or having sex with half the town.
"HEY RAINBOW!" A familiar pink pony screamed at her friend from the ground.
Rainbow jumped a little. "Jeez.what is it, Pinkie?" She turned and glared at her dimwitted buddy.
Pinkie opened her mouth but looked away for a second. "...I FORGOT."
Rainbow rolled her eyes. "Oh. How fascinating. Now, do ya mind? I'm about to take a nap."
"...OKAY." Pinkie sat down. Dashie usually takes long naps, so she might as well sit down.An hour passed by. AJ and Fluttershy come up, laughing. Pinkie glares and shushes them.
"Jeez, Pinkie. What's got ya-" AJ was cut off by Pinkie covering her mouth. She then points at Rainbow Dash with her head.
"O-oh... Sorry Pinkie... we didn't mean to disturb Rainbow Dash's napping..." Fluttershy.
"How long has she been up there?" Applejack whispered. "Oh yeah, ya won't talk, will ya?"
Twilight walked up. It's convenient how everyone seems to be meeting up in the same place for no apparent reason, hmm?
"Hi everypony! What are you all doing here?" Twilight asked.
Dash sat up. "GOD, Twilight. Why do you have to talk about books so much? Jeez... you can wake up the dead with that bulls-"
"Uh, I wasn't talking about any books... and I wasn't even loud. Rainbow Dash, your arguement is simply illogical."
Dash sighed. "You were almost cool for a second there, Twi. It's invalid, not simply illogical. And what are you talking about? You're always talking about books!"
Twilight sighed this time. "Look Dashie, you have your fandoms, I have mine. Wait... what?"
"What's a fandom..?" Fluttershy tilted her head.
"And what does Your arguement is invalid mean?" Applejack asked.
Rarity walked up, Spike soon follows after.
"Have you all seen Opal? My darling's been missing all day.."
"Afraid we haven't, Rarity.. At least I haven't anyways." Applejack frowned.
Everypony else replied with "sorry Rarity"s and "Haven't seen Opal today"s.
"Everypony seems to be acting real strange today..." Twilight pondered.
"Ooh! OOOO! I know! Maybe worlds are intertwining and something is about to fall out of the sky!" Pinkie declared.
Before you knew it, a pony fell from the sky. Shocker.
"YES!" Pinkie threw her front hooves in the air.
"OMIGOSHOMIGOSHOMIGOSH! Are you okay?" Fluttershy squealed and ran over to the pony. She was plain. Plain white. No cutiemark... no mane or tail... but she had a horn and wings overlapping her body.
"OH GREAT, So now I can't be special anymore? I though I was the only pony Celestia was giving alicorn powers....I mean, OOO! Another alicorn?" Twilight coughed awkwardly.
Fluttershy frowned at the plain white pony. Tears formed in the pegasus' eyes. "A-are you ok? Please wake up..."
The pony was on her side, in the simple standing pose, her wings open and a small smile on her face. But she was still.
"You know what this means...." Pinkie snickered and pulled out markers.
"Pinkie......" Dash frowned, landing on the ground to join the rest. "You know better than to write on other's faces.....without me!" She giggled and the two ponies went to work, coloring her eyes. Dash laughed as she drew her top eyelid partially down, giving her bedroom eyes. They continued and adding a mane and such. Pinkie added a mustache.
When they were done, there was a light 'pop' sound and the colored pony (heh.... sounds racist) turned into a normal pony, well, except for her wings and horn. She was a light yellowish color. Her mane her mane was caramel. She had a heart and a bottle on her flank. She had bedroom eyes, as Dash has drawn on her previously.
Rarity tilted her head. "Button's...mom?"
Fluttershy did the same. "As an alicorn...."
Spike followed. "...With a mustache?"
Rainbow nodded. "Well I do love a MILF." She shook her head. "I-i mean... Does anyone have a glass of milk?"
"I do... but not in a glass... " Button's mom got up real close to Dash, her nose touching Dash's nose. Rainbow's wing sprung out.
Pinkie took out her laptop out and logged into Tumblr. "This gives me beautiful inspiration to make a new fanfic....i'll call it.... 'GOT MILK?' Yes, brilliant, HAHA!" She twitched.
Applejack snarled. "Nopony touches mah WAIFU!" She jumped on top of Button's mom and started punching her repetitively.
Rarity fainted and Fluttershy started crying.
A lightbulb lit up on top of Applejack's head. She ran and got a bucket of water from the nearby well. (Because there's always random conveniences in fanfics.) "WITCH!" She screamed as she threw it at her opponent. Instead of getting soaked , screaming, or melting, there was another popping noise and the pony was back to its original form. Still . There was still marker on her, but it was bleeding off her body.
Applejack backed up. "Good.... now why was ah jealous of Button's mom? And what's a waifu?"
Rainbow folded her wings back in. "But.... now i'll have to settle for Little StrongHeart or Pinkie or something.... wait, what?" Dozens of ponies, male and female, and a few other species intruded her mind. Dash cringed.
"Agh... Why am I... What the..." A picture flashed in her head. Her and Applejack were making sweet, sweet love. "Ugh... gross...." Dash frowned.
"What's gross?" Pinkie asked.
"I'm getting..." Another picture flashed of Her and Twilight, twilight shoving her horn up Rainbows'... "Ugh! Gross pictures of me and you guys..." Another flashed, Dash and Pinkie were humanized, but Pinkie had a dick and was shoving it up Rainbow Dash. "OH WHAT THE FUCK."
Rainbow Dash shook her head.
"Shippings, I see...." Zecora walked out of a bush. "That just won't be. Rainbow Dash, my dear friend, Are there sex pics to no end?"
"Uh... Yeah..." Rainbow Dash frowned.
Applejack shouted. "WHAT IS WITH YOU BLACK PEOPLE HIDING IN BUSHES OH MY G- oh, sorry. Stereotypical country characters have to be racist."
Rarity shugged. "It's alright dear, fancy people are supposed to be stereotypically racist as well."
"Wait, what?" Everypony else said in unison.
Zecora laughed. "AH, don't worry, Elements of Harmony... Just stay away from Dash or you'll be... Sorry...mony." Zecora nodded at the end.
"What?" Twilight asked.
"Oh, fuck it. Rainbow Dash is getting subliminal images of clop and its shipping of her and you all." Zecora groaned.
"Huh? What's a shipping?" Applejack frowned.
"And ..what's clop?" Fluttershy added.
Twilight and Pinkie's eyes lit up.
"A ship is when you have two characters that you think are cute together... or you think would make a good smexy time fanfic at least." Twilight smiled. She was an expert on fanfics.
Pinkie smiled as well. "yeah, and clop is... Well... It's .... it's sex. Pony sex. Or ya know... when you take your hooves and-"
Twilight nudged Pinkie. "Pinkie, sweetheart, no need to show everypony, I think they get the picture." Twilight was sweating. With those new wings of hers, it's hard to keep her wings down when she gets... excited.
"Um... first, Ew, Second, why would you two know that?" Fluttershy asked, regretting it the second she said it.
"Tumblr." Twilight and Pinkie squeed in unison.
"Um... ok...." Rarity sighed. "It seems I will never understand my friends."
"SO LETS COLOR THIS PONY AND MAKE HER SOMEPONY ELSE SO WE CAN-" Pinkie was yelling until Applejack shoved her hoof in Pinkie's face. "Ah don't think it's wise to mess with that thing until-PINKIE!"
"What?" Pinkie had colored the plain pony to look like a familiar actor with a specific voice that turns males gay.
There was a pop sound again.
Rainbow Dash fangirl squealed. "MORGAN FREEMANE?!"
All was silent. He opened up his mouth,
"Titty sprinkles."
Hmm. I guess there's another chapter.
(A week later...)
Lemons.
Did i get your attention, anime fans?
Good.
Scootaloo was given the plain white pony as a gift from Rainbow Dash. She didn't really know why she got it....I mean, besides the fact that it was her birthday.
She got it in this huge box that said fragile. Dash couldn't stay at her party very long, so she just left a note on the box.
"Hey biggest fan. I mean, biggest fan in Equestria anyways. There's aliens on other planets that have posters of me, hoodies of me, and even clop to me daily. But anyways. I wanted to give you this. You know me better than other foals your age, so I figured I would pass on the legend of the white poni. (its been a legend only around for a week, that's probably why you haven't heard of it.) You'll know what you do with it. But don't get it wet unless you have to. ...Don't take that out of context.
Lurve, Dash.
P.S. Titty Sprinkles."
Scootaloo figured Rainbow Dash must have confused her with Sweetie Belle again and thought it was a maneaqin. (i dunno if you're supposed to ponify that but I did.)
Today, Scootaloo was gonna go over to Sweetie Belle's house for a sleepover. It's weird. Since last week... everypony's been changing a lot since then. Sweetie's almost a robot. Tell her any word, she can define it in less than a second.
Scoots knocked on her door. It seemed Rarity was out. She's always out on their best sleepovers. She says "you all give me migranes," whatever that means. After Scootaloo heard whispering from the other side of the door, The door lightly creaked open.
"What's the password?" The earth pony with a bow asked.
"Applebloom, honestly... Just let me in."
"URR! WRONG!" She slammed the door in Scootaloo's face. The fuck.
Applebloom always gets into slumberparty roleplay. Sweetie must be the Princess again. And Applebloom must be a guard.
Scootaloo knocked on the door again.
"Ma'am ya know 'Applebloom honestly just let me in' is Babs' password. Everypony has a special password. If you don't like yours, you'll have to speak with the Queen."
"Queen? But I though Sweetie was a Princess."
"She got demoted."
"Higher Royalty is a demotion?"
"Well of course! Why do you think we have a Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, and Princess Cadence? Hasbro says Kids see Queens as evil and scary."
"Erm... ok.."
"So do you want access or not, Knight Chickenfoot?"
Scootaloo sighed. "Bok. Bok. I'm a chicken. Bok bok."
Applebloom snickered. "Access granted, Knight Chickenfoot." She opened the door fully and looked behind Scootaloo. "What'cha got there? Where'd ya get it?"
"Uh...A present. For The...Queen." Scoot turned to look at the plain white pony. She had almost forgotten she brought it.
"Didn't you get that from the party?"
"Well if you fucking know everything why do you ask?" Scootaloo snarled.
"If my sister and your owner weren't dating I would kick your ass." Applebutt glared. She helped carry the pony inside. Sweetie Belle was sitting on the couch.
"Hello, Queen. Sorry to hear about the demotion." Scoots frowned.
"Tourette syndrome (also called Tourette's syndrome, Tourette's disorder, Gilles de la Tourette syndrome, GTS or, more commonly, simply Tourette's or TS) is an inherited neuropsychiatric disorder with onset in childhood, characterized by multiple physical (motor) tics and at least one vocal (phonic) tic. These tics characteristically wax and wane, can be suppressed temporarily, and are preceded by a premonitory urge. Tourette's is defined as part of a spectrum of tic disorders, which includes provisional, transient and persistent (chronic) tics." Sweetie twitched.
Scootaloo glared at Applebloom. "So you made me say i'm a chicken when we aren't even playing Castle?"
"I just love to hear you admit it." Applebloom smiled.
"You can't hiiiide what's insiiiide." Sweetie sang.
"So.. what're we gonna do with that thing?" Applebloom pointed to the White pony thing.
"Necrophilia, also called thanatophilia or necrolagnia, is the sexual attraction to corpses. It is classified as a paraphilia by the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of the American Psychiatric Association." Sweetie Belle twitched again.
"Um... What?" Applebloom tilted her head.
"I dunno.... why don't we..OOH! DRESS IT UPPPPPPPPP <3" Sweetie Belle squealed.
"Ew." Scootaloo groaned. "And how do you even say a heart emoticon out loud?... Well anyways. In the note that I got from Rainbow Dash, there was a plain black washable marker in it. I think she wants me to draw on it."
"OOH! Lets make an oc!" Sweetie Belle snatched the marker and started to scribble all over the pony."MORE COLORRRRRR!" She then paused to make an adorable face with her mouth open.
"Err... what are you doing?" Scootaloo tilted her head."
"can someone hand me a subway sandwhich?" Sweetie asked. "I need a new picture for the Rule 34 website."
"Ew, no." Scootaloo shut Sweetie's mouth.
"Aw, you're only jealous that i'm the one out of the three of us that have the most Rule 34 pictures." Sweetie smiled. "Now ... where are those colors...AH!" Sweetie grabbed her box of markers and got back to work.
Sweetie backed up. There was a pop sound. Applebloom looked horrified. Scootaloo threw up.
The pony had vinyl's hair, like at least 50% of oc's today. She had rainbow dash's rainbow color in the mane and tail. She put one black streak in the tail. Her back was striped like zecoras,l except the color was puke green with purple and brown stripes. Her eyes were cat eyed, one was orange and one was pink. She had blue freckles and a yellow belly. Her hooves were polka-dotted magenta and black and she had a recolored applejack gala dress on and the apples were replaced by stars. Her wings were red and her horn was royal alicorn-sized and and was white with black and blue stripes.
"Hello. My name is Princess Cloudsong and I love to read. I have dated every pony that anyone could possibly like. I am Luna's sweet twin that looks nothing like her and that and nopony knows about. I was supposed to be the element of friendship but everypony made fun of me for being an alicorn so I didn't get any friends... Will you be my friends?" The color puke pony asked the three foals.
"DRAMATIC GASP YES SENPAI." Sweetie belle's eyes sparkled.
"Fuck no." Scootaloo cringed.
"KILL IT B'FORE IT LAYS EGGS!" Apple Bloom huddled in a corner and cried.
"It's ok, senpai... I will always love you..." Sweetie Belle cooed, looking up at her grown pony lover.
"Ew, gay." Scootaloo mimicked Lyra's pose.
"And ew, illegal love." Apple Bloom growled.
Sweetie turned to her friends. "Scoots, don't get me started on your lesbian voice, haircut, or Rainbow Dash obsession. And Apple Bloom. I wouldn't be talking about illegal love. Don't act like you don't know that Applejack and Big Mac are actually your parents. You rednecks always marry your siblings and cousins. And besides, age is just a number." She smiled and scratched at Princess Cloudsong's neck.
"Ew, you sound like a Belieber." Scootaloo cringed again."What a minute.... Don't get it wet unless you have to..."
"Huh? Did you have Gremlins nightmares again?" Applejack patted Scoots' back.
"No... I just remember what Dash said..." She started to whisper into Apple Bloom's ear. She giggled.
"Hey Sweeeetieee..." Apple Bloom cooed.
"Hm?" Sweetie Belle turned to stop making out with her new marefriend.
"We're sorry about what we said about you and your Princess..." Scoots faked a sweet smile.
"Hmm..." Sweetie glared at them. "You guys don't want a foursome, do you? Because Princess Cloudsong isn't down for that."
Apple Bloom let about a sarcastic "...Damn. Maybe next time."
"But if you guys really want it I guess I can convince her..." Sweetie looked at Cloudsong. She shrugged.
Apple Bloom let out a non-sarcastic "...Damn. Maybe next time."
Scootaloo laughed nervously. "What we meant was.... We're sorry for being asses. We want to make it up to you two. We will give her a makeover. Let's start with her mane. Let's wash it!"
Applebloom threw a bucket of water at Princess Cloudsong.
"AHHHHHHHH MY BEAUTIFUL MANE. FUCK YOU! FUCK SWEETIE BELLE! FUCK ALL OF YOU! LONG LIVE THE KIIIIIING..." She slowly melted into the floor.
"Oh shit. We ruined it. I just thought the marker would run off.." Scootaloo frowned.
Rainbow Dash stuck her head through the window. "Ha. I knew you would ruin it so I gave you a copy of the real pony using Twi's new cloning machine. Now if you'll excuse me. I gotta go see Applebloom's mom and go make some sweet, sweet love."
"You mean... Applejack?" Scootaloo frowned.
"Yep." Dash flew away.
"Ewww gay." The three friends say in unison before turning to each other and laughing.
Up next on Friends.... Rachel is Pregnant with Ross' fourth baby, Joey has sex with Chandler, and Phoebe and Monica have a bitchfight over their adopted son. But Secretly Ross is dating Monica and Joey likes Phoebe. And Joey also likes Rachel's dog, But Rachel's dog secretly likes Chandler. And also, Phoebe is in the Illuminati. And a whole lot of other stuff. Friends gets fucking confusing.
