I clicked the button, and the world was destroyed. The nukes went off, the hundreds of thousands of innocents screamed, and I smiled. I saw the mushroom cloud from across the city, and even though I was pretty far away, I could still appreciate the beauty of death and destruction. My partner, Soria, laughed as I wiped away a metaphorical tear. After all, I didn't want to stain my turban.

She looked at me with a certain gleam in her eyes. "Somehow, I think you set this up just for me."

I gave her an innocent look. "What? Why would I ever do such a thing? I nuked that city purely for the sake of nuking a city!"

She raised her eyebrow at me, clearly not believing me. "Oh really? And I suppose that you didn't take into account that destruction is my second biggest turn on?"

I growled in the back of my throat. "Really? Only your second? What's your first?"

She laughed and pulled out her .357 Magnum, aimed it at the waiter standing behind us, and shot him right in the head. "Well, to be completely honest... It's murder. The more brutal, the better."

Even though I knew she couldn't see it through my face mask, I smiled broadly. Pulling out my M136 Minigun and holding it in one hand, I took off my Ray Bans, and put on a pair of Aviators. Tinted black with gold rims, of course. "Shall we?" I asked in my amazing Russian accent.

She donned her akimbo AK-47s and smiled at me. "Would you be so kind?"

I pulled out a bag of weed and rolled up a joint, sticking one in her mouth and a large blunt in my own. "Ready now?" I asked with false impatience.

She laughed and puffed on the joint, blowing out a perfect ring of smoke and flashing a dirty smile at me. "Of course, my love."

With a nod from me, we jumped off of the top floor of the Twin Towers, deployed our parachutes, landed on top of a dark green El Camino while the top of the towers exploded from the anti-matter bombs I put in there before we left.

I got in the driver seat while she stood on the roof, shooting anybody that survived the explosions with her AKs. The roar of her guns, mixed with the rumbling of the engines, plus the explosions, made this one hell of an exit as we drove out of the city and directly into the sunset. The bloody screams and crying of the innocent was just the metal icing on the badass cake I just baked in my epicness oven of supercoolousity.

I pressed Esc and exited the game, saving the final screen shots of my newest frame-by-frame short film. I smiled happily. "God I love RP."

I looked at the clock, and seeing it was only four, I scowled. I was hoping to have killed a few more hours, but it seems that this day just refused to end. "Bloody planet... Why can't you spin faster, you fat fucker?!"

Sighing, I decided it would be best if I just found something new to play with on the game. I opened the workshop, and searched for the most trending NPCs and Playermodels. The very first thing didn't interest me, seeing as how I wasn't a fan of that particular game. "Fucking Megaman... Stupider franchise than Sonic." But what did catch my attention was a group of colors. Staring at my screen, I saw that it was something involving little ponies full of color. They were smiling.

I laughed to myself, picturing all of the horrible and obscene things I could do with these little creatures. I read the description, seeing it was full of two kinds of people. Some, praising the creator and thanking him for putting this into the game. Others... eh, not so much. The word faggot seemed to be the only word that they could come up with, so the brain capacity of those individuals was obviously lacking in some aspects, so I ignored them.

It also said I need some other crap, so I subscribed to the add-on, plus a bunch of other pony stuff on the workshop. At one point I came across a pack of children ponies. The thoughts of doing horrible and painful things to innocent kids was enough to make me feel a stirring in my loins. Naturally, I instantly subscribed to it.

Feeling the sickening joy I feel when I'm about to do something that could possibly get me arrested for crimes against Humanity, I started a map I found when searching for pony-type things. Something about Ponyville, or some equally stupid name. I mean really, what if we named Cleveland "Humanville" or "Homo Sapien Town"? I'll tell you what would happen. Bad shit man, bad shit.

Anyways, I was loaded in the game and I set my Playermodel to the best one I could find, which was some pony with a badass cowboy hat. Her name was... Applejack... Applejack? Really? No wonder people called ponies faggots with names like that.

I smiled toothily as I set up my bondage props and every kind of blade I could find. I was thinking that maybe I could make a quickie frame-by-frame, just for myself. Self indulgence, you know what I'm sayin'?

I decided to string up Pinkie Pie and used Twilight Spar- Twilight Sparkle? The fuck?! Is this some shitty mockery of the Twilight saga? That bullshit was an abomination by itself, and should remain dead, you horsey bitch!

I tossed Twilight into a nearby wall and proceeded to beat her with a crowbar for a full minute, painting her blood over so many surfaces I started to lag.

Just then, I had an idea.

I dug through my add-ons, and upon finding the magic circle, I set up a sacrifice using a new, not-dead Twilight. My smile was hurting me. "Ooh, Dis gon b gud!"

Twilight pulled on the ropes I had tied around her hooves. She couldn't do much, because I had an array of sharp knifes hanging above her, and every time she so much as twitched, they would threaten to shake loose. "What are you doing?! Who are you?!"

I laughed as I walked in, rubbing my hooves together as I pictured doing terrible things to her. "Why, my dearest Twilight, I thought you knew..."

She looked to me, a confused yet scared look on her face. "Applejack? What's going on? Why am I here?!"

I laughed again, hacking and wheezing at the end. "Oh no, my little pony... You see, I've already done away with the others. I'm just using this one's skin as my own for the time being. She's so comfortable to walk around in, like velvet." I laughed again, sending globs of blood out of my mouth and on to Twilight's face.

Her eyes were watering and her lip was quivering. "A- Applejack... Why are you doing this? Is this a- a joke? W- whatever I did, I'm sorry! I swear, I'll never do it again! Please, please let me go!"

I laughed again, but I broke into a fit of coughing at the end, ruining the moment. "Oh, shut up you stupid sack of meat," I said harshly. I pulled my hat off, and my true form became apparent to Twilight. My slimy skin, my clawed hands, my tail. My true, alien, form was brilliant in its own wonderful ways that a fleshsuit just couldn't compare to. "Aahhh, that's much better..." I said in my guttural, rough voice.

Twilight was so scared she couldn't speak. Her eyes were wide and her mouth was open slightly. She looked a little pale, almost like she was going to puke.

I laughed again, sending more blood on to her. "You see, I need your life essence to keep on living. Without it, I would shrivel up into a tiny ball and die. So, as much as I would love to chat, I must bid you farewell. Ta-ta~"

I swung my tail around, dragging it across her face and causing her to whimper. With one last laugh, I pulled my tail back and angled the sharp tip so I could punch straight through her skull. I smiled, causing my acidic saliva to drop to the floor an-

BING

I scowled and looked at the bottom right corner of my screen.

HEEYYYY wats up

My eyebrows furrowed as I pushed Shift and Tab together to bring up Steam. What do you want Serpent?

He replied, like he normally does. With horrible spelling. wut chu doing

I raised a brow. ?

BING

I looked at the chat box and saw that I had a message from... Viking337. Wonderful. What?

Viking replied like he normally does. With even worse spelling than Serpent. did sepent tel u

BING

I clicked on Serpent's tab to see the message. I saw that it was nothing more than an invite to play on our Battle Royale server.

BING

I clicked back to Viking. Same thing.

Rolling my eyes I told them both no and went back to what I was doing.

I pulled my tail back. "Farewell, my dear."

She let out a single tear and closed her eyes.

My tail stabbed through the air and right into her right eye, splattering blood everywhere. While in her skull, I forced my tail farther, breaking it out of the back of her skull and mincing her brains.

I laughed loudly and dribbled my beer as I saw her head go through the floor and the tail of the alien was still stuck in it, so it was being dragged along with it. The physics of the pony were very, very broken. Not that the alien was much better, but it at least didn't get stuck in the world whenever I applied pressure to its head. "Alien Tail! Apply directly to the forehead!" I laughed so hard I didn't even notice what was happening until my computer let out an ungodly buzzing sound that nearly made me shit out my heart.

I looked at my screen to see the pony had lost its textures and was mostly through the ground, with the alien close behind it. The circle was spazzing out and my game was lagging so badly I knew it was probably only as matter of seconds before my entire game went down.

Scowling, I started raping the Z button so hard I thought my finger would snap in half. After a full five seconds, I thought I might be about to save my game... When my computer got the dreaded Blue Screen of Death. "Fuck!" I swore loudly.

The blue screen started turning purple.

I leaned in closer. "The hell...?" I looked behind me. "Was I injected with drugs?" I mumbled to myself.

The screen was completely purple now, and the text was in some language I didn't know. Which is weird because it almost looked Russian, but I knew basic Russian, Spanish, and French. I was even learning Swedish and German as well as Arabic, but none of those looked like this one. It wasn't any kind of Asian, because I didn't recognize the symbols from the time my computer got hacked.

I shook my head and muttered obscenities as I pressed the power button on my PC. But I couldn't pull my finger away, because it was inside of the computer. I tried tugging harder, but that only moved my PC around on my desk. I did the only sensible thing and put my foot on the front of my PC and used my other hand to try to pull myself free. Well, it didn't work, so much as suck my leg in up to my knee and make my PC fall on my lap, which made it devour me from the waist down.

I stared in horror as my body was slowly slipping into my monitor. "Well, I'm fucked." I put my hand to my chin and thought that those were pretty good last words.

I shrugged. Eh, could've done worse.

As my head slipped into the computer, I swear I could smell apples and clean air. I figured it was just my subconscious scolding me for not eating more healthy things or live a cleaner life. I just figured that the feeling of falling was me being dropped down into Hell. Maybe I can meet Hitler? Aw, that would be fuckin' awesome! I wonder if I can actually talk with Satan?! That wou-

"Ow!" I landed on my ass hard enough to know that I would have a bruise. I stood up and rubbed my sore backside with... my hoof? What?

I looked at my hind-end and saw an orange hoof rubbing and orange ass connected to an orange body. "The fuck?"

"Applejack?"

I turned my attention away from my shapely orange ass to a tall white pony with a horn and wings. Celestia if I remember correctly. She was broken as hell and could only spin around and stare at me every time I tried to shove a grenade up her lady parts.

She was walking towards me with a look of concern on her face and staring up at the ceiling.

I looked up too and nearly choked on my own tongue. The magic circle with Twilight and the alien was still spazzing out on the ceiling, and my monitor was in the center of it. I broke down laughing as I saw it from the bottom. The sight was still funny as hell and I laughed so hard I heard my throat pop and I felt like I was going to puke.

"What's goin' on here? I don't approve!"

I stopped laughing and looked to my side. "No..." To my side were not one- but two other Playermodels; a Kliener and a Male Model #7. The Model #7 was staring at his hands and speaking in the voice of my friend, Viking337.

Next to him the Kleiner model spoke in another familiar voice. "O- okay. That's cool too..."

I shook my head. "What the hell...? Serpent, Viking, what the hell's going on?"

They both look at me with odd expressions.

Viking chuckled. "Hey man, why are you a pony? I knew you were kinky, but not that kinky."

I looked down at myself with a scowl. "I was checking out new add-ons when... this happened. What did happen, by the way?"

Viking shook his head. "I don't fuckin' know. I was playin' on the server and the my computer was all pfft. 'Oh no, I'm gonna blue screen!' And then uh, I'm here."

Serpent was looking at himself as he answered. "Same thing happened here. I was just about to take some guy's head off when my computer went down and now I'm here."

I shook my head. "Weird..."

A throat cleared and we all looked to see the Celestia standing in front of us with a mixture of confusion and irritation on her face. "Excuse me," she said. "But who are you, and what have you done to my faithful subject, Applejack?"

It took me a second to process that she meant me. "Uh, I'm not Applejack. I was just walking around in her skin for a bit when this happened. Oh, speaking of, can you possibly send us back to the real world? I think I left a pizza in the oven and I would be pretty fucked if my house burnt down."

She narrowed her eyes at me. "You're walking around in her skin?" she asked quietly.

I nodded. "Yeah," I said slowly, as if I were speaking to somebody who was mentally impaired. "I just said that, so you might have heard that come out of my mouth. But in case you're deaf, just let me say it again. I'm walking around in her skin an-"

She stomped her hoof, making the ground shake and almost causing me to fall. Thank God for four legs! "What have you done with Applejack?! If you have harmed her in any way, your punishment will be severe!"

Well all looked at each other. And then, we laughed.

I fell back on my pony-butt to hold my sides from the pain I was experiencing from the laughter. "Y- y- yo- you- you really th- think that you c- can scare me do you?! HA!!! As if, horse face!"

My friends laughed even harder and louder as I said this.

I shook my head to get the blood flowing again and get rid of the light-headed feeling. "Listen, I didn't do anything to Applejohn or whatever the hell her name is. I was just using her model while I ran around Ponyville blowing shit up."

She narrowed her eyes at me even further. "You were causing explosions in Ponyville?" she asked very quietly.

I chuckled evilly. "Yeah, those damn, dirty ponies didn't know what hit 'em. Boom! Boom! There goes the neighborhood!"

"Uh... dude?"

I looked over to Serpent. "What?"

He pointed to me. "You're a pony, and so is she."

I worked my jaw side-to-side while I thought about what he was trying to say. After a few seconds of thought, I blinked. "Oh..." I looked back to Celestia, who seemed to be building up a reasonable amount of rage and fury underneath her features. "I uh, I didn't mean these ponies. I meant the other ponies. Your ponies are fine and dandy and not dead at all. The other ponies are the ones that were completely wiped out." I tried to smile at her, but except for laughing at the misery of others I just couldn't pull off the facial expression. I ended up hurting my jaw after making it out of "scowl" and almost to "blank", but I clearly didn't do anything to calm her down.

She opened her mouth, and I swear I could have seen smoke coming from in there. I know I saw it coming from her nostrils. "You mean to say," she started very slowly, "that you went into Ponyville, disguised as my faithful subject Applejack, and set off bombs causing harm to the ponies there?"

I swear, she was going to explode any second now. "Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying," I told her without thinking. "But it wasn't your Ponyville, it was my Ponyville!" I added quickly.

Her head and tail hair exploded into a blazing inferno and the creamy white coat turned into the blazing white of a star, her eyes were so red I thought that she may have popped about fifty blood vessels, and smoke was billowing out of her nostrils. She actually looked kinda badass.

"Metal..." I said as I gawked at her.

My friends were both standing next to me, not exactly sure what to do.

"I'm not exactly sure what to do," said Viking.

I nodded. "Do you have a bucket of water?"

He shook his head.

I worked my jaw side-to-side and thought about what to do as Celestia became a Fire God right in front of our eyes. "Maybe... we can piss on her? Like they did with that witch in Robot Chicken?"

Serpent laughed and Viking shrugged.

I nodded and reached to unzip my pants, only to find I was poking myself in my girl-pony-parts with my hoof. I shook my head in annoyance, realizing that I couldn't partake. "Looks like you're on your own. I don't have a hose to douse this fire."

There was a shriek of rage from Celestia, drawing all of our attention. She had her horn lit up a bright gold color and a bright ball of fire was swirling around the tip.

I sighed. "Well, we're fucked."

She reared back, then stomped back down, sending the ball of fire right towards us. Then the ball of fire went right through us, doing absolutely nothing but making us sweat a little.

I looked at my chest, then my hands and legs. I looked at her with an angry glare. "You could have killed us, you crazy bitch! What's wrong with you?!"

Her red eyes narrowed to slits as she charged her horn again. This time, a large shard of ice. As she sent it flying towards us, it shattered into hundreds of tiny shards that pierced our flesh... then went right through the other side causing us absolutely no harm at all.

I looked at my friends. "I don't think she's going to help us. Let's just find somebody else that's not a fucking psychopath."

We all walked away from the monster pony, not really caring that a large storm of lightening was coming our way.

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, just keep trying. I'm sure it'll work eventually. Just believe in yourself!"

The lightening arced towards us, striking each of us in the back with enough voltage to blow up a generator. And then everything was blindness and pain.

Author's Note

Well... here we are again. New story, new possibilities. I've been wanting to do this for a long time now, and I've finally worked up the finger strength to do it. Well, okay, I was bored with my other story and wanted to start something new. Kill me for it. Anyways, I hope you enjoy, because I sure did.