I awoke to the distant sounds of voices. Voices that were unpleasantly familiar. Unpleasantly, annoyingly, hatefully familiar.

Rubbing the sleep out of my eyes, I sat up in the small tent, rolling Dash off of my bare chest. I looked down at her, a small smirk playing at my lips.

I leaned down and kissed her forehead, rubbing her head gently before unzipping the tent and climbing out. I was greeted by the smell of fresh air and sunlight.

I grumbled something not suitable for children and walked over to the dying fire. As I stared at it, I thought about what had happened the night before. The story, the monster chicken, the tent... Dash...

I sighed and sat down on the log I had previously spawned myself, rubbing my forehead with an open palm. Thinking made my head hurt, and the heat wasn't helping anything either. It felt like I was burning from the inside out.

I need to get out of here...

A voice, Dash's voice, spoke to me. "Hey, are you okay?" she asked, sitting down next to me and wincing slightly.

I clenched my jaw together. "I'm fine. Just the heat getting to me," I lied.

She gave me a look. "Are you sure? You've been sitting here for almost ten minutes."

I sighed, rubbing my head harder. "It felt like only a few seconds..." I looked at her. "I need to get back home," I said, shaking my head miserably.

Dash smiled at me, punching me in the arm lightly. "Hey, don't worry! I'm sure the princesses are working day and night to get you back home!"

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, I'm so sure," I said with heavy sarcasm. Then I saw her neck. "You have bruises."

She raised a brow at me. "Well, yeah. You did kind of strangle me last night," she said jokingly.

"Won't your friends wonder why you have bruises on your neck after being in the woods with me?" I asked.

She scoffed. "That's nothing. I just hope they don't notice the other ones."

I raised an eyebrow at her. "What other ones?"

She leaned forward, giving me a good look at her flanks. Her backside was bruised a dark purple color, especially around her mare parts. "Yeah, it's pretty sore. But it was totally worth it." She gave me a saucy look. "Wasn't it?"

I snickered. "Yeah. Yeah, it was. To tell the truth I can't seem to feel my dick." I put my hands down my pants and gave myself a strong tug. "Nope, it's numb."

We laughed a bit before I heard the voices again.

"Did you hear that?" I asked her, staring into the trees.

She looked where I was looking. "Yeah, I did... What was it?"

I narrowed my eyes at the forest. "It... It sounded like... my name."

She gave me an odd look. "Your name? You mean the one that you still haven't told me?"

I snorted, getting up from the log and spawning my clothes back on and my PKM in my hands. I loaded it, getting that beautiful clacking sound. "Yes, my name. And there's only two people in the world besides me that know what my name is..."

We looked at each other for a brief moment. We looked back at the forest.

I saw something move, just a small flair of color among the dull greens of the forest. "The hell...?"

There was the sound of engines. Engines and helicopters. A helicopter engine, and the rotors slicing through the sky.

I saw that flash of color again, and figured out what it was. "Down!" I screamed, jumping to the ground. Luckily, that saved me from experiencing a large piece of shrapnel going through my stomach.

"What's going on?!" Dash yelled.

I got up into a crouched position, leveling my PKM with the spot of color. "We're under attack by idiots using helicopter blades as weapons!" I yelled, pulling the trigger and spraying the forest with bullets. I was looking for that spot of color. That light blue shirt.

A bullet cracked by my head, nearly taking my ear off.

"Fuck, get down!" I screamed, pushing Dash behind the log and reloading my gun.

I spawned a few dozen grenades, the strain making my headache worse. "Pull the pin and throw them at the target!" I yelled. "You need to get them with a few feet to be effective!"

She looked at me. "What's happening?!"

I set up my PKM to rest on the top of the log, firing into the woods at our attackers. "It's an ambush! They want me dead for downing them!" A bullet hit the log, sending wood chips and splinters everywhere. "We need to kill them before they kill us!"

Dash looked at the pile of grenades I spawned her. "I don't think I can!"

I looked at her, putting my hand on her shoulder. "You need to," I said quietly. "I never thought I'd like you, but here we are."

She smiled at me, a small tear trailing down her face.

I grinned at her. "Just pull the pin and throw them. After that you don't have to worry about anything."

She nodded, determined to do bad. "Get some!" she yelled, throwing a live grenade far into the woods. A second later I heard somebody swear and then a loud explosion rocked the trees.

Everything was quiet after that. No animal calls, no bugs, not even the wind was blowing anymore.

I looked through the iron sights of my PKM, looking for that little scrap of color. That tiny little indication that he was out there. That-

crk~

I spun around, still in my crouch and fired every shot into the woods behind me. Not just into the woods, but into the tree tops and bushes and dirt and everything else.

I heard swearing and shouting.

Reloading, I grabbed a grenade from Dash and tossed it to where the voice ha come from. "Come out, fucker!" I yelled to the second attacker.

Then I saw him.

I pointed my weapon at his chest and fired, tearing him to shreds, then the grenade went off and destroyed those shreds. "One down!" I cheered.

"Two down," a voice said from directly behind me.

I turned, seeing that damn blue shirt.

He smiled at me, pulling the trigger of his revolver.

I jumped forward, taking the bullet in my side instead of my head. Rolling over on my back, I sprayed my remaining bullets into him, reducing him to nothing but paste from the waist up.

I reloaded quickly, getting to my feet and giving myself a health kit. "C'mon, get up," I said to Dash.

She looked at me, a mildly terrified look on her face. "Is it safe?" she squeaked.

I nodded. "Yeah, I got them.

Both of my attackers respawned, giving me dirty looks.

I sneered at them. "What makes you think you could take me out, huh?" I asked them.

"You little cheater!" Serpent shouted at me. "You shot us down during a race!"

"Yeah, what the fuck's wrong with you?!" Viking angrily demanded.

I shook my head and sighed. "Hey Dash?" I said, looking to her.

She looked at me in question.

"Go on back to town. My friends and I need to catch up," I told her.

She nodded. Lifting off the ground, she gave me a quick kiss before she flew off.

My friends both gave me strange looks.

"Is there something you want to tell us?" Serpent asked with a laugh.

My face held no emotion whatsoever. I pulled the hammer on my PKM back, getting that clacking noise I love so much. "You could have killed her."

My friends looked at each other. Then back to me.

I raised my PKM up, ready to fire. "Run."

***

" 'Oh my God!' was the distant call on the wind, entering the ponys' ears.

They looked to the forest, questioning who, or what, was making this sound.

Never before had they heard such a sound, like a scared foal in danger, crying from its fears.

They knew of the dangers with the Everfree, but little of the creatures that to it are bound.

But soon they shall know of a new fear, one of metal and wires, of sparks and gears.

When the trees broke, out came something never before seen by Ponykind, stomping around.

Even the elders of the town, having been there since the beginning have never seen it in all their years.

A monster of mechanical design, one that could spit fire and with each step shook the ground.

In front of the beast, though, fled two smaller creatures, both leaking tears.

As the thing chased them, it terrified the ponies, all of which galloped screaming through the town.

And once the two friends tired, they were caught by the monster that crushed them and flesh it seared.

But not yet, did they perish, they still had one last thing to do. Before they died, they made the back of their pants, brown."

I stared at my friends through the visor of my Mech, charging the screamer. "So, what do you think of my little poem about you two?" I asked them through the loud speaker.

They both just looked at me, scared of the pain they were about to experience.

I laughed, firing my weapon at them.

Nothing happened.

I looked skywards, where the screamer was, well, screaming. What I saw annoyed me greatly. "Really? What the hell?!"

They landed in front of me, dispelling the screamer into nothingness.

I pointed my guns at them and switched to my turrets. "Did you actually do it, or are you just here to say hi?" I asked the two princesses, very annoyed that they stopped me from killing my friends

Luna glared at me. "Is this how you normally treat you friends?"

I smirked at her. "If you think this is bad, you should ask my old friends what I did to them."

The two princesses exchanged a worried glance before looking back to me.

"Would you mind coming out of your... machination?" Celestia asked me.

I snorted, it sounded strange over the com. "Nah, I'm good in here," I told them. "I have air conditioning installed!"

Celestia sighed. "I would prefer it if you would speak to me face-to-face."

"Why?" I asked.

"Because this is an important matter," she said.

"Why?"

"It has to do with you."

"Why?"

"Because you were involved."

"Why?"

"I would like to know the same thing."

"Why?"

"Be-" She took a deep breath. "Because it concerns one of my subjects."

"Why?"

"You did something to her."

"Why?"

"That's what I want to know."

"Why?"

"Because I do!" she screamed. "Get out of that thing!"

"Why?"

She ignited her horn and tipped me over, smashing my Mech and breaking the AC.

I sighed, crawling out and looked at her angrily. "Why?" I asked, gesturing to my now-broken Mech.

I saw the six stooges behind her. In front was Dash and Fluttershy.

"I came to Ponyville to investigate the reason why the Sun was lowered before it was even in the late Afternoon," Celestia started. "When I got here I hear tell that you three," she said, waving her hoof in a large arc to include all of us, "have gone on some kind of adventure, and went missing. Not only that, but Rainbow Dash, one of the bearers of the Elements of Harmony was missing as well."

I groaned, knowing where she was going with this.

"Now," she continued, "just this morning I hear that Rainbow Dash has returned. But when I go to check if she is all right, I see large bruises on her neck and flanks. When I asked her if you were to blame for this, Fluttershy, the Element of Kindness comes to your defense, saying that she too has been involved with you, and that you would never hurt anypony." She gave the Mech a flat look. "And here you are, storming Ponyville with a monster made of metal, trying to kill your own friends. What do you have to say for yourself?" she asked, giving me a hard look.

I scowled at Dash and Fluttershy. "I don't like you anymore."

Author's Note

Poetry? Hmm, I've never considered it before. Maybe I'm on to something here...