I patted Dash on the back, making soothing sounds for her as she puked in Twilight's toilet. This had been going on for a while now, at least ten minutes. At this point it was more dry heaving than actual vomiting. "Shh, shh... It's okay. Don't worry, I'm here for you..." I cracked a smile, my bloody teeth glistening on the dim light. "Yes, I'm here for you Dash... I'm here..."

She smacked my forehead with a wing, making something sounding like a complaint and an unladylike insult mixed together.

I rubbed her back between her wings, massaging the base of her wings. "I know you're probably freaked out... And I know I've said it before... But you did lie to me. And I was partially drunk at the time. So, all in all, it's not really my fault."

She tried to whap me with her wing again, but I dodged it. "Go away..." she mumbled, her head still in the toilet. It was actually quite impressive to do, considering most of her friends had already used it to puke in. The smell was deathly.

I chuckled, pinching the very base of her wing and getting a squeal out of her. "I killed you, so no. Now I have to clean up the mess I made."

She groaned, gagging again. "And how're you going to do that...?"

I smirked. "By deleting the evidence that it happened," I said, snapping my fingers. The sound of deleting in Gmod reached my ears. "All done!"

She pulled her head out of the toilet and glared at me. "You're such a jerk," she growled. She swatted at me with a hoof to get past me and walked out of the bathroom, joining her friends in the front room of the library.

I walked out, a stupid grin on my face. "Well, anybody else need me to slap them on the back while the hurl up their guts?" I asked pleasantly.

All of the ponies groaned and made a sick face.

I snickered at their discomfort. "You're all lightweights. You should really toughen up if I'm going to be hanging around you guys for much longer."

Twilight glared at me coldly. "Thank goodness you won't be. I'm telling the princesses what you did, and then you'll be taken care of."

I raised an eyebrow at her. "What did I do?" I asked, gesturing the the now-pristine stairway and floor. "There's nothing you can give her but your word. And once she sees that Dash and I are still very much in love, she'll think you're either a liar, or just exaggerating something that was much less than what happened."

She gave me a hard look. "I'm not a liar, though! You killed Rainbow Dash!"

I rubbed Dash's head, giving Twilight a toothy smile. "Twilight, you're lying... I hate lairs..."

"We aren't in love," Dash said, breaking the eye contact Twi and I were making.

I shrugged. "We fuck and I like you. Love stories by best selling authors in my world do less than that and are called masterpieces. In my book, liking somebody is as close to loving them as it gets."

"You actually like somebody? Wow, that's crazy," a familiar voice said to me.

I turned with a lopsided grin. "Well, look what the skunk dragged in," I snarked.

Viking laughed. "Look who's talkin'! You smell like piss and blood, man."

I looked at myself. I was indeed covered in blood. Piss? Well, I didn't think so... "Eh, just the hazards of work," I told them as I renewed my Playermodel, effectively cleaning myself. "So, what brings you to the crime scene? Here to accuse Captain Custard of doing it with the letter opener in the library?"

The both chuckled at my comparison.

"No, we heard the screams from down the road and figured you had something to do with them," Serpent told me. "We would have came in and checked what was happening but the door was locked. So we just decided to go blow some things up with nukes."

Twilight gave them an unbelieving look. "You were here and you didn't see what was happening?!"

Viking shrugged. "It's not my fuckin' problem," he said simply.

I laughed, patting him on the shoulder. "I've taught you well, my son," I said in a deep voice.

As I said that, Viking shrunk down to about three feet tall. "Thanks daddy!" he said in a high pitched voice.

I blinked. "How the fuck did you do that?"

He crossed his arms across his chest. "Gimme ten bucks and I'll tell ya," he said in his slightly nasal voice.

I scowled and picked him up by the back of his shirt. "Tell me, or you'll get the belt," I threatened.

His eyes widened. "No! I'll talk! Just use the Player Re-Sizer!"

I dropped him on the ground, laughing to myself. "Thanks kid," I said sarcastically. I then opened up my add-ons and searched for it. Once I located it, I smiled. "Ten years old, here I come!"

Then everything got bigger.

I quickly switched to the Human Hunter Playermodel, coloring my hoodie black and spawning in a pair of headphones to blast heavy metal music.

All of the ponies were looking at me in shock.

I looked at them all like I was bored. "What're all you losers lookin' at?" I asked in a much higher pitched voice than normal.

Pinkie zoomed up to me, a huge smile on her face. "Oh my gosh! You're soooooo cute!" she exclaimed.

I rolled my eyes. "Whatever freakazoid. Just chill out and we'll be cool," I said, channeling my inner kid.

She smiled ever brighter. "We can be cool?! Like Rainbow Dash?! That's so super-" she stopped herself and cleared her throat. "I mean, that's cool," she said casually, leaning against a nearby wall.

I snickered into my hands. "You guys are dumb. Like, really dumb, like, way dumb."

Twilight gave me a curious look. "Are you actually... a child?"

I scoffed. "Are you actually... an idiot?" I snarked at her.

Viking laughed and we fist-bumped.

Applejack shook her head. "Yep, he's a kid alright," she said with slight annoyance in her voice.

I puffed up my chest. "I ain't no kid! I'm already registered on three porn sites and made out with a girl! You're a kid you stinkin' pit-sniffer!"

Dash stifled a laugh.

I turned my scowl to her. "Hey, shut up!" I yelled angrily. "I totally made out with Jenny in the girls bathroom! I swear!"

Now it was time for all of them to crack up laughing. Even Fluttershy.

I could feel my eyes burn from a build-up of coming tears. "Shut up you jerks!"

They laughed even harder.

"Stop laughing at me! I'm not lying!" I yelled at them furiously.

Twilight gave me a look. "Of course you're not," she said, pretty sarcastically. "I'm sure we all believe you."

I scowled at her, the rage burning inside of me like a bonfire. "I said stop it, butt-muncher!"

She broke up laughing again from my insult. She just pushed me too far.

I felt myself move before I could do anything. I kicked Twilight in the knee and heard it make a slightly unhealthy cracking noise. "You're all a bunch of chodes! I hate you all!" I screamed, running out the front door. I could feel tears making their way down my face as I ran. I didn't care, I didn't care about anything. Everything was stupid. I hated it! I hated them!

***

I sat in a treetop somewhere in the Everfree forest. I had a baseball bat with me in case there was some kind of monster or something.

I sniffed, wiping my nose with the back of my sleeve. "Stupid frickin' jerks," I mumbled to myself. I sniffed again as the tears got under my nose. "I wish they were all dead," I said angrily. "I want to kill them. I want them to die. I want to kill them. I-" I sniffed again, wiping the tears off my face with my wet sleeve.

I closed my eyes, putting one hand to my head. "Ah, my frickin' head!" I hissed out. It felt like there was little pieces of glass grinding around in my skull.

"It's their fault!" I growled, smacking the tree with my bat. "It's their fault I'm here! It's their fault I'm mad! It's! All! Their Fault!" I screamed, each syllable complimented with a smack to the tree from my bat. On one powerful swing, I broke the branch I was sitting on and fell from the tree. "You stupid tree! I hate you!" I yelled as I pushed myself up. "I hate everything!" I screamed loudly and started bashing the tree mercilessly with my bat.

"Die!"

clump

"Die!"

clump

"Die!"

clump

"Die!"

clump

"Just die you stupid tree!"

My bat broke, the top of it flying off somewhere into the forest.

I gave off a noise between a growl and a shriek and spawned myself another one.

"Before you do any more damage to that tree, we want to talk with you."

I spun around, wiping the tears off my face with my sleeve. "Go away!"

Twilight flinched back from the volume of my voice, but stood strong. After all, her friends were there with her. "I know we made you angry, and it was wrong to laugh at you," she said.

"Go away!"

She gave me a sad look. "We wanted to apologize to you. We're sor-"

I pointed the bat at her. "I don't care if you're sorry! Get the frick away from me!"

She took a small step forward, wincing slightly from the kick I gave her. "What can we all do to show you that we're sorry?" she asked me, a small smile on her face.

I readied my bat to swing. "You can all die," I said venomously.

They gasped.

Despite the tears flowing down my face, I laughed. "Yeah, that's it... Die. I want you all to die." I took a step forward. I looked at the bat in my hands and tapped in on my opposite palm. "I'm so angry," I said calmly as I took another step forward. "I could kill you all right now..." I looked at them, a peaceful smile on my face. "Yeah... Yeah... I could just... beat you all to death. Nobody'd ever know..."

They all took a step back from me.

I giggled lightheartedly, my smile growing. "Oh, the things I'm gonna do to you... First, I'm gonna... tear your eyes out." I took a step closer. "Then... Then, I'll smash your teeth in." Another step. "And then... I'm gonna... rip off your legs." I laughed to myself, eyeing my bat. "Yeah... That's what I'm gonna do..."

Twilight laughed nervously. "Oh, well, uh... I'm sure there's no need for violence, is there? I'm certain that we can solve this in a nice, peaceful, happy, and non-violent way," she said, smiling at me hopefully. "Maybe over tea?"

I felt tired for some reason, like my body was heavy. "You make my head hurt," I said.

Then I blinked and I was laying on Fluttershy's bed, an ice pack on my head. "The hell just happened?" I asked the air around me.

I looked at myself, seeing that I was back to a normal adult but was still using the Human Hunter model. I felt too tired to do anything to change it, so I just looked around for something that could tell me why I was here. I groaned loudly when I couldn't find anything within the first ten seconds and gave up the search.

Getting no answer from the O2 in the room with me, I got up and left the room. ~~Downstairs held... fonder? No...~~

Getting no answer from the O2 in the room with me, I got up and left the room. Downstairs held less less-fond memories than the bedroom did. "Heller?~" I called out.

Fluttershy appeared from the kitchen, balancing a small cup on one wing. "Oh wonderful, you're awake! I was starting to get worried."

I took the cup from her and sipped it. It was quite tasty. "Why were you worried?"

She flew up to eye level and put her hoof on my forehead, frowning. "You passed out after, uhm, threatening us... And, well, I took you back here to make sure you were okay."

I rolled my hand. "Aaaaannnndddddd?"

She frowned again, putting her hoof back on my forehead. "You had a temperature of two-hundred and five! And from the looks of it, it's getting worse!"

I drained the small cup and set it down on the small table in her living room. "So, I don't have much time left..." I sighed. "It looks like I'll be leaving in the next few days, or I'll be dead."

She gave me a sad smile. "Well, you know if there's anything I can do to make you feel better, I'll do it," she said encouragingly.

I raised an eyebrow, a dark smile playing at my lips. "Anything? Well, there is one thing..."

Author's Note

No, I didn't use stupid swear words when I was a kid. I learned to swear before I leaned to spell my name. To this day, "Fuck!" is my favorite thing to say in any situation.