The path from Canterlot to the mountain was actually farther than it looked on the map I was referencing. It seemed that ponies didn't use conventional miles. I guessed that it was because they had four legs, whereas we only had two. But it seems for every one mile for them, it was just over two miles for us. So what I guessed would be a three day journey would probably take about a week in total. A week of trekking through mostly untamed terrain... in heavy platemail... with a bunch of heavy weapons... with our headaches and overheating. That's a nice thought...

The first day or so was nothing of note, really. Just leaving Canterlot and passing a few snobbish ponies that threatened to have us arrested for various reasons. I think a few of them were being threatening, insulting their lifestyle with our image, kicking them in the ribs and hospitalizing them, stealing their sweet rolls... Just stupid things like that.

So now we were into our second day. The Sun had been up for about two or three hours, give or take, and we were walking without an end in sight.

The one up-side is that we found a way to "beat the heat" so to speak. I won't go into details, but it involves a few gallons of water, a comfy patch of grass, and a mare. Whether she's willing or not isn't the point, just that she's there.

Viking refused instantly, not even wanting to talk about it. Something about him rather putting his dick in a microwave or something like that was spoken between us.

Hell, even I didn't really want to at first. I wanted to keep my bestiality count as low as possible, but seeing as how Dash or Fluttershy wasn't with us I didn't have too many other options. I hear three's a pretty good number though, so there's always that...

But enough about raping horses.

Viking and I were walking down the little dirt road to the mountain. And if my math is correct- I was a D+ student in high school after all- then a city should be coming up pretty soon. Yes, a city. Not a town like Ponyville, but a full-fledged city. Almost the size of Canterlot, if what I gathered from the pony I kicked in the ribs back at the castle was anything to go by. Fun guy, Blueblood. He could really make giving an ass-whooping pleasurable.

"So are we keepin' this up the whole way?" Viking asked.

I shook my head, popping a chicken nugget in my mouth. "Nope," I said, swallowing the bit of meat. "We only have to do it in front of people. That way we won't get too sucked in."

He looked at me oddly. "Is it bad to be in our minds?"

I flashed him a Joker smile. "I live in my mind, and only have my imagination to keep me company."

He leaned back a little, an uneasy look on his face. "Uh, okay then. Not doin' that."

I chuckled a bit, pulling my visor down. "Game face, Viking. There's a town up there."

He looked around us, clearly blind to it. "Where?"

I pointed at the small group of buildings ahead, barely noticeable because of the hilly terrain. "There, just over the hills. Can you see the smoke?"

He leaned in closer. "Oh, now I fuckin' see it!" he said. "I thought that was just clouds."

"Nah, not clouds, chimneys," I said. "What you're looking at is the outskirts of Trottingham. Over that next hill there aren't any more farms, only a large city."

He pulled his visor down. "So, we stoppin' there?"

I nodded which made my armor clank slightly. "Need to if we want to stay on the road. Maybe we can even get cooled off while we're there?" I suggested, laughing darkly.

Viking made a gagging noise and waved his hand at me.

I shook my head. "Oh, we're off to see the city! The horrible city right there!" I sang, mimicking the Wizard of Oz theme.

"Oh wait!" Viking called, just before I could continue singing. "I want a different name."

I looked at him oddly, which he couldn't see. "Why? What name could be better than Brian?"

"Vlad," he said, very serious. "Since I'm Russian, I wanna be named Vlad."

I shrugged. "Whatever," I said, not really caring. "Now, where was I...? Oh, yes!" I cleared my throat loudly, much like I was dying before beginning. "Just follow the dirty brown road!"

***

Vlad and I approached the large gates of Trottingham and were surprised to see them closed. "Hail, gatesman!" I called up to the pillar along the walls.

A head popped out, revealing a grey coat, shaggy and unkempt brown mane, and two large brown eyes. "An' who are you, then?!" a stallion's voice called down to us.

I waved at him politely. "We are knights, good sir! We hail from Canterlot, and are under orders to slay the dragon that dwells in the mountain beyond your lands!"

"Why ya comin' 'ere then?!" he yelled.

"We must go through Trottingham in order to reach the mountain if we are to stay on the path! The forest is dangerous, and we do not wish to put ourselves through any unnecessary risks!" I told him, hoping that he would listen.

The stallion disappeared for a brief time, coming back a few moments later with another pony. A guard, if the armor and spear was any indication. They spoke quietly for a while before they looked back at us. "What's your business 'ere?" the guard asked us.

"We only wish to pass through your city as a means to stay on the road, guardsman! We harbor no ill intentions for you or yours!" I yelled to him, hoping that he would believe me.

They spoke to each other for a few more seconds before looking back down at us. "An' 'ow am I s'pposed to know you're tellin' the truth?! 'Ow do I know you two ain't no Changelin's?!"

I guessed that I was confused looking under my helmet. "Forgive me, but the Changeling Hive is within the Badlands, to the South, is it not?! How is it that there are Changelings here?!"

Now I was guessing that they looked confused.

" 'Ave you not 'eard?!" the guard called down to us. "The 'Lings are tryin' to move up North! They've been harassin' the locals non-stop! We've 'ad to close the gates 'cause of 'em!"

"Well, we are no Changelings, good sirs!" I shouted innocently. "We only wish to pass through, maybe get a few hours rest at the most! Then we will be gone within the day!"

They went back to speaking again. It lasted longer than the other times, being about four or five minute as opposed to a few seconds. Eventually, the conversation ended with the gate operator shrugging and both of them disappearing within the pillar.

I looked to Vlad. "What do you think they said?"

He shrugged, his armor clanking loudly. "I am having no idea what little ponies are saying."

I sighed, looking back at the pillar. "That makes two of us, old friend..."

The ground shook.

I looked at Vlad. "Did you feel that?" I asked him.

"Yes, I am feeling rumble..."

The ground shook again, much more violently this time.

"That cannot be good..." I mumbled.

I heard voices shouting on the other side of the wall. Nothing really important or worrying. Something about stations and being ready. Then my mind clicked. "Uh oh."

The ground shook again, being split open from the sheer force of the quake. From inside I could hear... something. Like buzzing. The buzzing of thousands of wings.

I leaned over and peered into the large crevice. It was deep. Very deep. And it seemed to be filled with countless little blue orbs of light. Little blue orbs of light that moved, and had wings, and bodies, and fangs, and weapons strapped to their insectoid hooves. "No, this cannot be good at all."

A haunting laugh echoed out from the pit, and like a call of war hundreds upon hundreds of half-bug half-pony creatures came flying out of the dark pit towards me and Vlad.

"To arms!" I yelled, pulling my mace from my back and jumping several feet backwards.

Vlad already had his battle ax at the ready, prepared for anything and everything.

The creatures for the most parts ignored us, instead choosing to attack the city and the guards on the walls. A good number of them were taken out of the air by arrows and bolts of battle magic, but not nearly enough to even make the smallest dent in their numbers. The couple dozen or so that did decide to hang around us made a circle, enclosing us completely. Some flew directly above us while others hovered at various heights and some even landed, taking defensive stances.

I smirked. "You ready to crush some bugs, Vlad?" I asked my barbaric companion.

He laughed loudly, something which made the creatures around us look slightly more nervous. "I am always ready to be crushing our enemies, my friend! This shall be very much fun!"

"Fun for us, maybe," laughed an echoing voice from the pit.

We both looked to see a larger, more regal creature rise from the pit that the others came from. It was the size of Celestia, only black with shining green eyes and cat-like pupils. It was clearly a female by her voice and appearance.

She floated over to us, landing a few feet away and smiling almost seductively. "My, my, my," she cooed. "I've never seen creatures such as yourselves before. Tell me, my noble knights, is what you said true? About being under orders from the Sun princess herself?"

"We are, yes. Though how it is any of your business, I cannot fathom," I growled.

She widened her smile, choosing to look at me solely instead of both of us. "Well, I can't help but find this news particularly interesting," she said. "You see, Celestia is an old enemy of mine, and anything she does, I make it my business to know. And if at all possible, to stop."

I scowled behind my visor. "Still your tongue, witch! We are loyal to only the princesses, and if you should claim to be their enemy we will have no choice but to put you down like the dog you are!"

Her smile left her face as she replaced it with a glare. "Are you calling me ugly?" she hissed.

I smirked. "Well, I most certainly am not calling a dog pretty," I said sarcastically.

The two of us stared at each other for a long time before she spoke again. "Get them," she practically whispered.

I swung my mace as hard as I could as the first creatures darted towards me. I was just thanking God for the fact that I had armor to save me from the massive splatter of gore that erupted from the things as my mace connected with them. "Vlad! I'm on seven already!" I shouted over the yells of the monsters and buzzing of wings.

He laughed. "Twelve I am counting! Keep up my friend!"

I grit my teeth and swung wildly, taking out another half dozen or so with my mace. "You're not beating me again, you bastard!"

He only laughed as he swung his massive battle ax down on the creatures. The ones that weren't cleaved into pieces were scattered by the force of the weapon.

I felt a smile creep across my face as I swung my mace faster and harder, killing more of them. The guts flying everywhere, the screams of them dying, the faces of terrified creatures... It was all so much fun! "Remember kiddies, you gotta spin to win!" I screamed, spinning in circles on my heels with my mace held out. I must have hit at least three dozen, probably killing most of them.

I heard Vlad laugh. "You are so small! It is being funny to me!" he yelled, cleaving two of them neatly in half.

"Fifty!" I yelled.

"Fifty?! How are you killing so many?!" Vlad yelled back.

"I am the best knight in Canterlot, my friend! I thought you knew that by now!" I jeered.

Vlad growled angrily, throwing his ax at a large crowd of them. It spun horizontally, cleaving almost two dozen into pieces before it stuck in one of them and came to a rest. "Sixty!" he yelled proudly.

I looked around me, seeing only two dozen or less left. I needed to kill them all if I was going to beat him.

"Seventy-two!" I yelled, dropping my mace and throwing all dozen knives on my chest at the creatures. And lucky for me, they all hit. "Eighty!" I shouted, picking my mace up and rushing the few remaining creatures.

The did not seem to want to fight me, seeing as how they turned and flew away from me. But that did not help them. Even though they could fly, I was much bigger and had a very far reach.

I swung my mace, pulverizing three of the eight that were left. My second swing got me three more. And just before the last two got away my third swing caught their backsides, grounding them.

I chuckled evilly as I stood over the creatures. "Well, you put up a good fight, but you lost in the end and that is all that really matters."

They both looked up at me pleadingly, somehow managing to pull it off with bug eyes.

I brought my mace down, caving in the head of the first one.

"N- no, please! I'm too young to die!" the second yelled.

I looked at the creature. "And you think that the children in that city are ready to die? Do you not think that they should be spared this fight?" I asked scathingly.

The creature drooped its ears at my words. "Well, I..."

I brought my mace down, turning the thing into paste.

I shook the majority of the gore from my mace and turned back to the city. There were quite a few living creatures left, though most of them were writhing in pain on the ground. But one of them caught my eye in particular. Their leader. "You have failed this day!" I yelled, advancing on her.

She did not respond. She only looked at the massacre we made of her army.

I came within feet of her, griping my mace tightly. "Call off the attack, and I will spare your life," I growled at her.

She looked at me blankly.

"Do it, or your head will be decorating my hearth!" I threatened, raising my mace.

"You killed them..." she whispered in a haunted voice.

"And I will do the same to you," I said quickly. "Call. Off. The. Attack."

She lit up her jagged horn and sent a large beam of energy into the sky. After that she simply flew away, a few seconds later she was joined by her army. It seemed that a significant amount of them were missing.

I watched them fly off, probably towards their encampment. "And don't come back," I spat.

"My friend! We are needing to be killing the survivors!" Vlad yelled, getting my attention.

I nodded to myself, slinging my over-sized mace on my back once again and drawing one of my cleavers. I walked over to the first injured creature, one of the ones I only clipped. "Vlad, you know these don't count?" I said.

He groaned.

I smiled inwardly and struck the creature, splitting its head open messily. Walking over to the next creature I did the same thing. By the third creature I had the routine down. Walk, kneel, cleave, stand, walk. In the span of only a few minutes, Vlad and I had dealt with all but one or two.

I walked over to the last one I could see that was still breathing. I knelt down, readying my cleaver. That was when I saw the arrow under the creature's front leg.

I let my cleaver down and rolled it over to see an arrow stuck in the thing's side. It was barely inside of it, only the very tip buried in the black hide. There was no blood at all. "Why are you moaning?"

It looked up at me with a grimace. "It hurts," it rasped. "The pain is unbearable!"

I smiled to myself. A sick, twisted, demented smile. "Oh, that is not pain, my friend. This..." I said, raising my cleaver, "... is pain..."

I put the cleaver on the thing's stomach and started sawing back and forth. My blade was not serrated, but it was deadly sharp. Sharp enough so that with just a hint of pressure, I was able to start slicing through the creature's body like a loaf of bread.

It screamed. It screamed horribly. It was like a cat being skinned alive, only much more guttural and blood chilling.

I was half-way through the body. "Do you know what pain is, my friend?" I asked the creature happily. "Do you?"

It continued to scream, louder as I hit the first major organs.

"Pain is just what your body does as a warning. It tells you that something is dangerous, and that you should not put yourself in harm's way," I told it, pulling the cleaver out and placing it lower on the torso.

It was still screaming.

I began to slice through the body again, slower this time. So much slower. "You are able to overcome pain, to beat it. Do you know how?" I asked.

The thing writhed beneath me, its screams turning into bloody gurgles.

"You just need to believe that there is no pain," I told it. "If you believe that you will feel pain, then you will. But if you believe that nothing bad will happen to you, then nothing will."

It stopped moving and the gurgles almost completely stopped as well.

"It's all a matter of mind really." I pulled the cleaver free of the creature's body and raised it up high. "This mind!" I growled, bringing my blade down on the head, splitting it open like a ripe gourd.

I wiped my blade off on the grass and sheathed it before standing back up, sighing happily. I walked in front of the large gates again and was joined by Vlad. "Hail, gatesman! The creatures are dead, let us in!"

The same shaggy-maned stallion from before looked out of the pillar. He looked behind him and shouting something, and a second later the gates were slowly opened.

I looked to my companion. "Well, this was certainly an interesting visit, was it not?" I asked.

He chuckled and shook his head. "Interesting is being an understatement, my friend. Interesting was being gone when big bug lady was showing up! That happening was being crazy!" he laughed.

We both walked into the city to cheers of victory. Cheers that went dead silent as the ponies inside saw that we were covered in heavy amounts of blood and gore ranging from pieces of hide to small bits of intestines.

I raised my hand in the air and waved. "Greetings, pony folk! It is truly a relief to see a friendly face!"

They all remained silent.

We kept walking until we were greeted by a burly stallion and a rather lanky mare both wearing tattered armor. Behind them were bundles of the creatures we just fought. Prisoners, it seemed. There were quite a lot of them.

"Afternoon, guardsman," I greeted them as the four of us came within my reach.

The stallion only nodded.

"Good afternoon, knight," the mare responded.

We all stood there rather awkwardly for a few seconds before she spoke again. "We're glad that you came when you did. If you hadn't, the outcome of the battle may not have been in our favor."

I nodded. "Indeed. But tell me, why are you fighting the Changelings here? Why are they not attacking Canterlot?"

She shrugged. "I have no clue. From what we've gathered from the prisoners, they seem to have some kind of new plan. Trottingham was first, then the small hamlets around the city, and eventually Ponyville. After that I can only assume they would attack Canterlot again."

I nodded. "Any knowledge is better than none," I said. "Tell me, what are your casualties?"

"We have about eighty wounded and eleven in critical condition. Besides from that most of us have a few minor injuries that won't need anything but a bit of magic to heal," she told me.

I frowned. "There were no deaths?" I asked, truly curious.

She gasped. "No! How could you even think that?!"

I frowned even more. "It is battle. There is always death in battle."

"Not since Nightmare Moon!" she said, sounding truly horrified.

I looked over her to the hundred or so tied up Changelings. "Why are there so many prisoners? Did you not kill any?"

She again gasped, but did not speak. She did not have to.

"Bring me oil," I commanded. "Oil and torches."

The stallion nodded and galloped away from us.

"Why are you needing oil?" Vlad asked.

I walked past the shocked mare, right up to the closest bundle of creatures. "What are they?" I asked.

"Changelings," the mare said. "Didn't you know?"

I looked at each and every one of them. "I have only recently come here, guardsman. I had yet to meet one of them."

She growled in annoyance. "My name and rank is Staff Sergeant Light Hoof. You will address me as such!"

I ignored her. "Vlad, would you help me with purifying them?"

"How would I be helping you doing that?" he asked.

"Just make sure none of them get away," I said quietly.

A few minutes of terrifying the Changelings with my presence later and the stallion came back with a bucket of what I guessed was oil on his back and a torch in his mouth.

I nodded to him, taking the torch and oil. "Hold this," I said to Vlad. When he took it I picked up the bucket. It was heavy from the fullness. That was good.

"Today, we seek Your blessing, Lord!" I shouted, tilting the bucket up and sloshing the contents on the nearest Changeling. "Today, we have sinned against You, Lord! Today, we have brought evil upon the land, and we pray that You may forgive us, Lord!" I circled the bunch of them, dousing them all in oil. "Today, darkness has settled in our hearts, and we pray, Lord, that You may mend us! Today, Lord, we pray that You can use Your purifying light to save these souls! Today, we pray that in all Your brilliance and holiness, that You may find the time and patience to help us, Lord! Today, we pray for Your help, Lord!" The bucket was nearly empty by now, and every Changeling was soaked. "Oh Lord, please, hear me this day! Help these souls, Lord! Help these sinner souls find Your home, Lord! Guide them, Lord! Steer them, Lord! Save them, Lord!"

I looked to Vlad and nodded, taking the torch from him.

I looked back to the Changelings who were a this point crying in pure terror. "May The Lord have mercy on your souls," I said. I threw the torch in the middle of the group, making sure it would not miss.

Screams. So many screams.

Author's Note

What a twist!
Okay not really. But I just couldn't resist putting Changelings in here. I fucking adore Changelings. They're my favorite race to play in D&D.