Garry's Mod Vs. Equestria

"Well, that can't be good," I said needlessly as we approached Canterlot. We were maybe a quarter mile from it and from this distance, we could see everything. It wasn't a giant fucking golden bubble. It was a giant fucking golden bubble shield. There's a notable difference between the two, as I'm sure anybody could guess.

Oh, but how we knew it was a shield. Well, it seems that those little Changeling bastards were sorta pissed at me and Viking for killing a bunch of them. And as I may have at some point mentioned working for Celestia, they must have formed the idea of getting revenge by trying to attack Canterlot. So, yeah... There was this giant bubble shield protecting the city, but it wasn't really working that well... There were large, gaping holes in it that had Changelings flying in and out regularly, though more in than out. And before I saw hundreds of them in Trottingham, now I was seeing thousands and thousands of them there. Most were in the city, but a good two hundred minimum were guarding the nearest hole in the shield. The hole that we were going to have to go through to get back to Celestia.

I groaned as I looked at the multitudes of Changelings preventing us from moving forward. "Any chance that isn't because of us?" I asked pointlessly.

Both Light and Viking gave me a deadpan stare.

I sighed, shaking my head slowly. "So, are we rushing in, or are we doing this sneaky-peaky like?"

***

I walked down the path with my AN-94 in my hands. "This plan is retarded," I growled. "If it doesn't get me killed I'll be fucking amazed."

Light shushed me as we approached the first of the Changeling offensive. The Changeling offensive that noticed us and was at that point gathering in numbers ranging in the several hundred.

"Why can't I just nuke them all?!" I hissed out the side of my mouth.

She shushed me again.

We were stopped by the multiple hundred Changelings that came out to meet us. Yeah, fighting about a hundred wasn't really a problem, but these numbers were a lot more than that. Probably close to five or six hundred by my guess. "So, how's it going?" I asked casually.

The closest one hissed at me.

I winced. "Ooh, you might want to get that checked out," I said to it.

A look of worry crossed its buggy face.

"Yeah, my buddy had that too. He needed surgery to get it removed," I said in a sad tone. "Poor bastard, he could never look at a spoon the same again..."

A lot of the Changelings exchanged looks before pulling away from me a few feet.

"Anyways!" I said happily. "I'm here to turn myself in to your queen. I've recently come to the realization that somebody like me would benefit from working with you guys, instead of against you."

The Changeling directly in front of me raised a brow. "Really?" it asked in a gravelly voice.

I rolled my eyes. "No, not really. This is just a plan to make you bring me to Chrysalis so I can kill her, ending the attack on Canterlot," I said sarcastically.

Light's eyes were so wide they might have exploded if I poked them.

The Changeling in front of me glared. "Fine, I get it. No need to get snippy..." it said, trailing off as it turned and trotted away.

I looked at Light and tapped the side of my nose, flashing her a wolfish smile.

She shook her head slowly, clearly not believing what I had just done worked.

We followed the Changelings until they brought the two of us to the entrance of the hole. The number of Changelings only increased, nearing somewhere around eight hundred.

I looked at the large gap in the shield. "Wow, I know Celestia must be old, but she really has to take better care of her holes. This one is so beat up it looks like an army of Changelings have been in and out of it all day. So undignified..." I said with a shake of my head and a disappointed look on my face.

Light snickered at my joke, but most of the Changelings seemed oblivious to the multiple innuendos I just made.

"Indeed it is, my brave knight," a sickeningly familiar voice cooed.

The horde of bugs parted to reveal a much larger roach striding towards me. It was elegant, regal, royal, and butt ass ugly. Well, actually, she was drop dead fucking sexy, in a weird way, but still kind of a good way, but still being weird. "I have heard that you wish to serve me, instead of that Sun-loving foal Celestia?"

I groaned inwardly. Just the way she spoke was fucking annoying. "Yeah, I guess. I don't really see much of a future working for her with all of that 'I love and protect everything' bullshit. With you though, we could easily conquer the planet and sit you prettily on a throne. And I would be next to you with chains and collars keeping your mongrel army in check as your grand general."

She hummed in thought. "But I already have a general..." she said playfully.

I raised an eyebrow. "Really? Who?"

A Changeling slightly bigger than the rest flew forward, its wings buzzing deeply. "I am," it told me.

I nodded. "Cool," I said as I raised my AN-94 up and placed two rounds in its head. Looking back to the queen bug I gave her a slight scowl. "I thought you said you had a general? All I see is a dead bug laying in the dirt."

Her eyes flashed between me and the dead general, nervousness clearly present. "W- well I must have been mistaken," she saved. "I suppose I don't have a general after all. Would you care to fill the position?"

I smirked. "One second," I said. I turned around and waved at a distant hill, some five hundred feet away.

Nothing happened for a few seconds.

"What's going on?" the queen demanded.

That's when the bullet hit. The round snapped by my head, a hundredth of a second later it punched through the Changeling right next to the queen and at least seven more behind that one until the bullet buried itself in the ground.

I turned to the hill, a dark scowl on my face. "How the fuck did you miss?!" I screamed as loud as I could.

***

I was running as fast as I could backwards, spraying every bullet in my rifle at the raging black cloud behind me. I was in the city now, having decided it was best to try to mow as many down as possible and breach the city rather than try outrunning them in an open area.

I reloaded.

See, the thing about Viking is, he doesn't know how to aim. At all. I once saw him try four times to kill a still target at fifty feet with a fifty caliber sniper rifle in our Battle Royale server, and still die. Another example is that in the half decade that I've known him, I can't remember one instance that he actually managed to outsnipe me.

I reloaded.

But, I forgot about that, I guess. I had to have, because in my right mind I would never have let him try that shot if I had remembered how bad he was. But that's water under the bridge, as the saying goes. But, see, the thing is, that water is more of a raging river, and the blood of at least five hundred Changelings is what that water's made of. No thanks to Viking, of course.

I reloaded.

So no doubt he's trying to fight off a few hundred angry Changelings by himself, which, I don't have much faith in him doing. Hell, I was beginning to wonder if I had enough bullets to fight this war. No time to really think about that though, seeing as how the massive black cloud that was probably half of the Changeling army was gaining on me faster than I could kill them.

I reloaded.

So, I was down on luck, without a hope in the world, and impending doom was breathing down my nut sack. All in all, it sounded like my normal Friday night, 'cause I was only fucked on Tuesdays, holidays celebrating freedom, and Kwanzaa. Strange, huh?

I reloaded.

As it was, I was maybe a quarter of the way to the castle, and I was running out of bullets faster than I was Changelings. Running and shooting may be fine under normal circumstances, but these weren't normal circumstances. These were plan-A-through-H-failed-and-now-we're-just-gonna-have-to-wing-it-and-hope-for-the-best circumstances. And under circumstances like those, I find that putting my devious mind to use is usually the best option. Actually, that's pretty much always the best option.

I reloaded.

"Come and get me you little roaches!" I hollered as I ran down a back alley somewhere between the markets and the stalls. Alleys. A city's natural escape route. "Catch me if you can, fuckers!" I yelled, turning a corner and quickly spawning in a crate of nerve gas from the M9K ammo tab. I felt a stabbing pain in my head as I did this. My time was running out, fast.

I made it ten feet away before the first of the Changelings turned the corner after me. Most of them were still flying high above the alley, but there were enough in the alley with me to do some real damage. I spun, raised my rifle, aimed, and fired within half a second.

Everything slowed down. Not because of anything I did, but because I probably had enough adrenaline coursing through my body to restart an elephant's heart. I saw the red hot piece of metal slice through the air. I saw it punch through a Changeling, splattering it. Then, I saw it hit the box. Soon after, I saw the box explode in a huge cloud of red mist.

I heard screams. Pained screams, like something was having its skin torn off. Oh wait, that's about what was happening. The Changelings were going too fast to stop and the cloud was so big it swallowed up a hundred of them, easy. Sadly, the force of their wings was enough to blow away the deadly cloud and the multiple hundred still alive continued to rush at me like a wave of ugly water with the intent to do major bodily harm, because killing is some kind of big fucking taboo in Equestria. The front of that wave met with twenty-nine rounds, the last one having been used for the explosion.

I reloaded.

"Go fuck yourselves!" I shouted as I sprinted down the alleyway. I was running low on bullets. Before, I had well over eight thousand, now I was barely holding five thousand. And I was willing to bet that there wasn't three thousand plus dead Changelings laying all over the city. In fact, I doubted there being even a thousand dead Changelings in the city. Well, maybe not after that nerve gas thing, but it probably wasn't much higher than a thousand.

I spawned myself a dozen grenades, the pain in my head increasing terribly. Pulling the pins off, I threw them one by one behind me as I ran.

BOOM!!!!! Two... three...

BOOM!!!!! Two... three...

BOOM!!!!! Two... three...

This was the pattern that the explosions took up. An explosion, then a few seconds later, another one. I had no idea if the grenades were doing anything, but I doubted they weren't.

I looked behind me as the last grenade was swallowed up by the cloud of angry bugs.

Three ... two... one... BOOM!!!!!

I smiled to myself darkly as I watched what was probably twenty of them splatter all over the walls of the alley. The grenades were working. I would have made myself a few dozen more to kill the rest of Changelings, but I ran out of alleyway to effectively trap them in an explosion with, ending up in a plaza of sorts. I was reminded of the West Side Market from back home. It was an accurate depiction, actually. Stalls and stands full of cool shit, messy, and full of people who I would like nothing more than if they all died violently and painfully. Only difference was that the people were Changelings, not Humans. Still, it's an improvement.

I looked around me in a full circle. Yep, I was completely surrounded by what seemed to be over a thousand angry Changelings.

I sighed tiredly and rubbed my face in irritation. "Oh, fuck me," I groaned.

A small Changeling smiled at me from the crowd.

I scowled at it. "You know what I mean!"

The Changeling looked sad.